All language subtitles for A.P. Bio 1x03 - Parent-Teacher.AMZN WEB-DL NTb-WEBRip ION10.en-en

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,776 --> 00:00:04,516 All right, everybody, start to shut up. 2 00:00:04,637 --> 00:00:06,589 Let's go ahead and wrap up your current sentences 3 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,240 and get yourselves to a quiet place. 4 00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:09,658 Mr. Griffin, Dan is in my seat. 5 00:00:09,659 --> 00:00:10,993 Okay, I didn't even know it was his. 6 00:00:10,994 --> 00:00:12,494 You added me to this weird class, 7 00:00:12,495 --> 00:00:13,870 and now I don't know what's going on. 8 00:00:13,871 --> 00:00:15,247 Calm down, calm down. 9 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:16,415 Let's don't be so rule-minded. 10 00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:18,000 No point in your adult lives 11 00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:19,334 will you ever have assigned seats. 12 00:00:19,335 --> 00:00:21,587 - Besides airplanes. - And jury duty. 13 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,922 If I've already undercut myself, don't add to it. 14 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:26,508 'Kay? As you all know, this week we are 15 00:00:26,509 --> 00:00:30,220 devoting our attention to the psychological dismantling 16 00:00:30,221 --> 00:00:33,181 of my academic rival, Miles Leonard. 17 00:00:33,182 --> 00:00:34,933 Miles happens to be British. 18 00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:37,436 He also happens to be... adopted. 19 00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:41,106 So this week we will practice and perfect 20 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:44,234 British accents. And whosever is best 21 00:00:44,235 --> 00:00:47,446 will call him, posing as his biological birth mother 22 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:50,073 who he's never met, and tell him some sort of 23 00:00:50,074 --> 00:00:51,783 devastating secret. 24 00:00:54,704 --> 00:00:56,913 - Any questions? - Mr. Griffin, 25 00:00:56,914 --> 00:00:59,291 are you seriously never gonna teach us biology at all? 26 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,585 Sure, Sarika. Maybe, uh, 27 00:01:01,586 --> 00:01:03,628 Pablo Picasso can come in and teach driver's ed. 28 00:01:03,629 --> 00:01:06,757 Guys, I am a published Harvard philosophy professor. 29 00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:08,258 I've no interest whatsoever 30 00:01:08,259 --> 00:01:10,093 in teaching biology to you people, okay? 31 00:01:10,094 --> 00:01:12,596 So drop it. It's a pretty sweet deal on the table... 32 00:01:12,597 --> 00:01:14,431 play ball, get an A. Come on, let's make this easy. 33 00:01:14,432 --> 00:01:16,558 I'm just trying to cope through a year in Toledo 34 00:01:16,559 --> 00:01:18,894 with its miserable excuse for espresso. 35 00:01:20,188 --> 00:01:22,105 Put your hand down. 36 00:01:22,106 --> 00:01:25,317 Next words I hear outta you better be in a British accent. 37 00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:27,235 The bookstore at the mall 38 00:01:27,236 --> 00:01:30,656 has good espresso... m'lord. 39 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:33,492 Hey, not bad! Looks like Anthony's out 40 00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:35,494 to an early lead. Nice. 41 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:38,497 Let's open it up. And remember... British. 42 00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:40,457 Female. 43 00:01:40,458 --> 00:01:42,501 Hurtful. Go. 44 00:01:44,796 --> 00:01:47,172 The mocha latte... 45 00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:50,008 - I abandoned you in the loo. - Okay, what is this class? 46 00:02:14,158 --> 00:02:16,077 Ahh... 47 00:02:17,286 --> 00:02:19,955 This is my sanctuary. 48 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,379 Wha... 49 00:02:33,636 --> 00:02:35,053 It's fine. 50 00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:36,722 Ah, it's fine. 51 00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,351 Nope. 52 00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:46,189 I was kicked outta the bookstore. 53 00:02:46,190 --> 00:02:48,734 Tried to explain to the manager that their staff "pick" 54 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:51,194 was feel-good soft-core nonsense. 55 00:02:51,195 --> 00:02:53,572 Yeah, I happened to gesture with my coffee hand, 56 00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,824 you know, splashed a couple measly drops on the guy. 57 00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:57,909 He starts throwing the word scalded around... "You've scalded me!" 58 00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:01,913 Next thing I know, this large-calfed tyrant has his troop of baboons 59 00:03:01,914 --> 00:03:05,250 forcibly eject me. So... new plan. 60 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,252 British accents weren't exactly taking off anyway. 61 00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:10,422 We will now focus on taking down the Miles display. 62 00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:13,049 You will infiltrate the store by getting jobs there 63 00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:15,427 and changing the staff pick, thereby giving me 64 00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:17,053 some semblance of sanctuary 65 00:03:17,054 --> 00:03:19,347 in this chili dump of a town. 66 00:03:19,348 --> 00:03:20,932 Did Miles do something to you? 67 00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:22,267 Did he get you fired from Harvard? 68 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:25,479 No, Miles just has this, um... 69 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,814 You know, he... he's like... You know those people that... 70 00:03:27,815 --> 00:03:30,108 He wears scarves. Indoors, you know what I mean? 71 00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:32,777 When he smiles it's like, "Ehh..." You know? 72 00:03:32,778 --> 00:03:34,446 You just wanna... It's just ehh... 73 00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:36,239 You know, he's like one of those people. 74 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:37,782 Look, do I need to go on, or are you guys getting this? 75 00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:39,117 Couldn't you just find a sanctuary 76 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:40,702 in a different part of the store? 77 00:03:40,703 --> 00:03:42,078 That seems easier than lashing out. 78 00:03:42,079 --> 00:03:43,622 Does everyone hear him the way I do? 79 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,790 The grating tone? That's gonna be fatal 80 00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:47,125 in a job interview, bud. 81 00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:49,586 Mr. Griffin, we can't get jobs. 82 00:03:49,587 --> 00:03:51,963 Yes, you can! Look, it's easy. 83 00:03:51,964 --> 00:03:53,965 Couple of you get in, you flip the pic, 84 00:03:53,966 --> 00:03:55,800 and then quit, for all I care. 85 00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,594 I mean, look, it's a minimum wage job. 86 00:03:57,595 --> 00:03:59,721 These things are designed to be revolving door. 87 00:03:59,722 --> 00:04:03,642 So... who here has ever been on a job interview? 88 00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:06,144 Once my grandma asked me 89 00:04:06,145 --> 00:04:08,439 to help her dig onions in the yard. 90 00:04:09,982 --> 00:04:11,483 Okay. We're gonna need some practice. 91 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:22,327 - Hello? - Hey, sorry to interrupt you. 92 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:26,081 It's, uh, Principal Durbin from work. 93 00:04:26,082 --> 00:04:28,166 I was hoping to see you 94 00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:29,668 in my office when you have a moment? 95 00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:32,087 - How's now? - How's... 96 00:04:32,088 --> 00:04:33,755 Well, you're teaching a class. 97 00:04:33,756 --> 00:04:34,798 You can't literally mean now. 98 00:04:34,799 --> 00:04:36,925 I'm on my way. 99 00:04:36,926 --> 00:04:38,677 Well, you... 100 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:41,638 Heather, I want you to take over for me, okay? 101 00:04:41,639 --> 00:04:43,306 I want you to mock interview all these people. 102 00:04:43,307 --> 00:04:45,934 You guys are gonna do great. Just need a little work. 103 00:04:45,935 --> 00:04:48,228 It's gonna work. 104 00:04:48,229 --> 00:04:51,022 That's your signature scent. She can't... 105 00:04:51,023 --> 00:04:52,691 Ah... pffft! She can't take that away from you. 106 00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:53,775 Now, scoot. 107 00:04:53,776 --> 00:04:55,944 Sorry, the kids come first. 108 00:04:55,945 --> 00:04:57,863 - You're Jack, right? - Yes. 109 00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,490 H.H. DeMarcus. I go by Helen. 110 00:05:00,491 --> 00:05:02,367 How was Harvard? 111 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:03,994 How was all of Harvard? 112 00:05:03,995 --> 00:05:05,370 Uh... 113 00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,330 let's go with good. 114 00:05:07,331 --> 00:05:09,040 If Durbin's available now, I'd love to just... 115 00:05:09,041 --> 00:05:11,334 The annual bake sale is coming up, 116 00:05:11,335 --> 00:05:13,503 and all teachers have to bring a baked good. 117 00:05:13,504 --> 00:05:16,548 I do cream puffs, and people love 'em a lot. 118 00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:18,049 But the most important part 119 00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:20,218 is that we're raisin' money for the school. 120 00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:22,512 And I'm gonna write down "Raisin' Money" 121 00:05:22,513 --> 00:05:24,055 as a good cookie name. 122 00:05:24,056 --> 00:05:26,224 I write them down when they come to me. 123 00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:28,059 Now, you're getting off easy because you're new, 124 00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,103 so I'm just gonna give you chocolate chip. 125 00:05:30,104 --> 00:05:31,688 I should have stopped you so much earlier. 126 00:05:31,689 --> 00:05:33,315 Why would I ever do that? 127 00:05:33,316 --> 00:05:34,733 To show us how much Ram pride ya got! 128 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,067 Oh, I see. No, we're on the same page. 129 00:05:36,068 --> 00:05:37,736 Put me down as a definite no. 130 00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:40,238 You haven't gotten bitten by the Ram yet. 131 00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:42,240 - Guess not. - Pam the Ram's comin' at ya. 132 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:44,409 - Get ready! - Oh, the ram's name is Pam? 133 00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:46,578 All rams are male. 134 00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:48,079 Pam's a trans ram. 135 00:05:49,707 --> 00:05:51,416 Yeah. 136 00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:53,418 Okay. 137 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,754 Jack comin' in! 138 00:05:57,882 --> 00:05:59,925 Time to pay the piper, Jack. 139 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,886 Wha... I love whatever this is. 140 00:06:02,887 --> 00:06:04,554 Is it something from a movie? 141 00:06:04,555 --> 00:06:06,765 It's a Mercedes ad. Print. 142 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,017 "Never compromise." 143 00:06:09,018 --> 00:06:10,936 Ah! Well, you are nailin' it. 144 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,896 So I'm all ears. 145 00:06:12,897 --> 00:06:15,106 You gotta replace the school sign that you wrecked, homeboy. 146 00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:17,442 Right? It was granite, very intricate, 147 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:19,444 very expensive work on the ram. 148 00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:24,115 Jack, this is on you, and I never... 149 00:06:24,116 --> 00:06:26,451 compromise. 150 00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:28,453 It's funny... I've been meaning to bring this up myself. 151 00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:31,623 See, my lawyers were asking if the sign was far enough back 152 00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:33,792 from the road, legally speaking. 153 00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:37,462 And my neck has... really been hurting. 154 00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:39,422 You see, the thing is... 155 00:06:39,423 --> 00:06:41,591 I also never compromise. 156 00:06:41,592 --> 00:06:45,220 And as... a man who does not compromise, 157 00:06:45,221 --> 00:06:46,471 I have to respect that. 158 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:48,473 And, um, I'm sure I can 159 00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:50,642 trim some fat from the budget 160 00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:53,353 and maybe find some folks who, unlike us, 161 00:06:53,354 --> 00:06:56,481 - are willing to compromise. - Ah. 162 00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:58,650 Ahh! Look alive, Whitlock! 163 00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:00,361 Durbin's on the warpath! 164 00:07:01,153 --> 00:07:02,612 All right, class, 165 00:07:02,613 --> 00:07:04,322 I'm back, so start to shut... 166 00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:06,534 up. 167 00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:10,412 Hmm. 168 00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:13,290 Heather, you, uh, finish those job interviews? 169 00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:16,668 Yeah? Who'd ya hire? 170 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:19,671 Somebody had a lotta great references maybe, huh? 171 00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:21,590 Maybe the boss' nephew. 172 00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:27,345 Yeah. 173 00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:29,097 That's what I thought. 174 00:07:29,098 --> 00:07:31,599 These damn textbooks! 175 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,144 You should all take a page from how cool Dan Decker is. 176 00:07:34,145 --> 00:07:35,395 You're not gonna see him 177 00:07:35,396 --> 00:07:36,479 thumbing through a biology textbook. 178 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,273 Nobody gave me one yet. 179 00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:40,984 Nobody even gave him one. How cool is that? 180 00:07:40,985 --> 00:07:42,652 You know what? 181 00:07:42,653 --> 00:07:44,362 Line up with your books over here. Come on. 182 00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:45,780 Line up with your books, let's go. 183 00:07:45,781 --> 00:07:47,657 Now, you see all these open windows? 184 00:07:47,658 --> 00:07:50,160 Aaaaanybody wanna guess what happens next? 185 00:07:50,161 --> 00:07:52,036 Mr. Griffin, we can't throw out our books. 186 00:07:52,037 --> 00:07:53,455 What about the AP test? 187 00:07:53,456 --> 00:07:55,123 Oh, can we not throw out the books? 188 00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:56,624 Let's go. 189 00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:58,710 Toss 'em, guys, toss 'em. 190 00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:05,133 Sarika Sarkar, you gonna be okay? 191 00:08:05,134 --> 00:08:07,261 Not without my book, no. 192 00:08:09,221 --> 00:08:10,972 Whaaaaah! 193 00:08:10,973 --> 00:08:12,390 - How'd you know? - I didn't. 194 00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:14,642 I didn't... Hand to God, I did not know. 195 00:08:14,643 --> 00:08:16,269 Oh, man, I coulda really... 196 00:08:16,270 --> 00:08:17,437 I coulda really hurt you. 197 00:08:17,438 --> 00:08:19,856 Whoo! Oh, man. 198 00:08:19,857 --> 00:08:21,483 All right, I was gonna start in on the interview prep, 199 00:08:21,484 --> 00:08:23,067 but I don't think I can do it, man. 200 00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:25,195 But I could get arrested for something like that, dude. 201 00:08:27,239 --> 00:08:30,074 Coach. Coach Novak, I need to, uh, 202 00:08:30,075 --> 00:08:32,869 talk to you about the budget. 203 00:08:32,870 --> 00:08:35,038 I need to you, uh... 204 00:08:35,039 --> 00:08:38,082 I need you to cut down on field chalk. 205 00:08:38,083 --> 00:08:40,543 Can't be, you know, touching that up every day. 206 00:08:40,544 --> 00:08:42,754 I'm not gonna compromise. 207 00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:44,756 I get it. We're on the same team. 208 00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:46,091 Bu... R... really?! 209 00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,592 But while we're talkin' budget, 210 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,385 I need a new P.E. parachute. 211 00:08:49,386 --> 00:08:51,387 The old one got snagged on a kid's belt buckle. 212 00:08:51,388 --> 00:08:53,056 He got whipped across the room, 213 00:08:53,057 --> 00:08:56,392 and his buckle gutted that chute like a trout. 214 00:08:56,393 --> 00:08:58,395 "Never compromise." 215 00:09:00,147 --> 00:09:01,648 First off, I need to know 216 00:09:01,649 --> 00:09:03,358 when students get whipped across the gym. 217 00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:06,694 And secondly, I'm in cutting mode, so... 218 00:09:06,695 --> 00:09:08,613 Oh, I see. You headed straight to P. E., huh? 219 00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,115 Bottom of the totem pole. 220 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,784 Dick, I understand how crucial P.E. is. 221 00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:15,370 You know what I do here? I tire out the boys! 222 00:09:15,371 --> 00:09:17,580 You realize what a bunch of hopped-up boys 223 00:09:17,581 --> 00:09:20,458 who had full energy would do to this school? 224 00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:22,460 I'll get you the parachute. 225 00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:25,088 Find a way to fix it. 226 00:09:26,715 --> 00:09:28,424 If I didn't tire out the boys, 227 00:09:28,425 --> 00:09:31,094 this school would be rubble by lunch! 228 00:09:31,095 --> 00:09:33,721 Remember, people, this is for the bookstore interview. 229 00:09:33,722 --> 00:09:35,807 Posture. Eye contact. 230 00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,600 And if I get the sense you're not really trying, 231 00:09:37,601 --> 00:09:39,185 you get an F. 232 00:09:39,186 --> 00:09:43,023 I like big books, and I cannot lie. 233 00:09:44,233 --> 00:09:46,317 I have a 4.125 GPA. 234 00:09:46,318 --> 00:09:48,111 Never talk about grades. No one cares. 235 00:09:48,112 --> 00:09:49,988 They have no impact on life. 236 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:50,989 Next! 237 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:52,615 And greatest weakness? 238 00:09:52,616 --> 00:09:54,617 - My neck. - Very literal. 239 00:09:54,618 --> 00:09:58,329 I couldn't even hold my head up until I was five years old. 240 00:09:58,330 --> 00:09:59,789 The only job I've ever had 241 00:09:59,790 --> 00:10:01,916 was babysitting my little brother. 242 00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:03,501 Look, you guys are trying to make a good impression here, 243 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,128 so you're gonna have to straight-up lie. 244 00:10:05,129 --> 00:10:07,338 If you don't, someone else will, so it's fine. 245 00:10:07,339 --> 00:10:09,174 It's called holistic consequentialism: 246 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,676 the consequences are the same either way, so... 247 00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,595 lying. Go! 248 00:10:13,596 --> 00:10:15,305 My dad is author Stephen King. 249 00:10:15,306 --> 00:10:17,307 I have a normal-strength neck. 250 00:10:17,308 --> 00:10:19,100 If I hear something behind me, 251 00:10:19,101 --> 00:10:21,144 I turn and look without effort. 252 00:10:21,145 --> 00:10:23,146 Well, I hope you're all inheriting money, 253 00:10:23,147 --> 00:10:24,856 because you're completely unhirable. 254 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,608 I have no choice but to take a run at this myself, 255 00:10:26,609 --> 00:10:28,485 so get the hell outta my sight. 256 00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:31,379 Now we don't have books? 257 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,383 We might lose a whole academic year. 258 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,260 - We have to do something. - But what? 259 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,804 He has all the power. 260 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,639 We should all show up at his house, 261 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,224 ambush him, and refuse to leave 262 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:42,934 until he gives us our books back. 263 00:10:42,935 --> 00:10:44,227 - Who's in? - I'm in. 264 00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:45,978 I wanna see a professor's house. 265 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,981 I bet it's like the library from "Beauty and the Beast." 266 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,817 We should ask Dan Decker. 267 00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:53,487 He's scary, but Mr. Griffin likes him. 268 00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:04,372 _ 269 00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:06,457 Where is that son of a... 270 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,505 Jack, you are squeezing that pen so hard. 271 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:13,631 What are you working on? 272 00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:15,842 - Revenge. - Oh ho ho ho. 273 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,426 - "Revenge"! - Somebody call Shonda! 274 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,136 - Revenge! - Little too dramatic. 275 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,429 "Shonda"... 276 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,973 There he is! 277 00:11:21,974 --> 00:11:23,933 Oh, God, not now, Helen, please. 278 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,352 I... I'm working on a writing project of great importance. 279 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,855 Exactly. You're a big brainiac with these 280 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:31,524 big thoughts, and there's no room in your head for cookies. 281 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,484 That's why I made it even easier for ya. 282 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:34,861 You know, 283 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,321 I'm not some absentminded nutty professor 284 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,824 who's baffled by baking. I simply don't wanna do it. 285 00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:43,369 "Nutty Professor" is the perfect name for your cookies! 286 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,162 That maniac doesn't care 287 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:46,372 about first impressions at all. 288 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,458 Okay. What? Iron out your panties, Jack. 289 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,210 - Listen... - Yes, Batman? 290 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,546 I do not bake cookies... 291 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,172 and I will never waver on that. 292 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,884 - Look at his nostrils. - Girl, they are flaring. 293 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,010 - Has anyone seen my mug? - Which one. 294 00:11:59,011 --> 00:12:00,386 My Michelle mug. 295 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,221 It's got my name on it, Michelle? 296 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,726 Thank you for calling Bartholemew's Bookstore. 297 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,061 We appreciate your call. 298 00:12:14,278 --> 00:12:17,071 What is time? Why are we here? 299 00:12:17,072 --> 00:12:18,448 - I'm Miles Leonard... - No. 300 00:12:18,449 --> 00:12:19,949 - Representative! - Philosopher 301 00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,409 - and MacArthur Genius. - Representative! 302 00:12:21,410 --> 00:12:22,785 "The Question IS the Answer." 303 00:12:22,786 --> 00:12:25,121 What is time? 304 00:12:25,122 --> 00:12:27,332 Why are we here? 305 00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:29,125 I'm Miles Leonard, philosopher 306 00:12:29,126 --> 00:12:31,210 - and MacArthur Genius. - Representative! 307 00:12:31,211 --> 00:12:32,920 "The Question IS the Answer." 308 00:12:32,921 --> 00:12:36,257 What is time? Why are we here? 309 00:12:36,258 --> 00:12:38,092 I'm Miles Leonard, Philosopher... 310 00:12:38,093 --> 00:12:40,720 - Oh, shut up! - My book, "The Question 311 00:12:40,721 --> 00:12:42,096 IS the answer." 312 00:12:46,143 --> 00:12:48,311 Representative! 313 00:12:48,312 --> 00:12:51,564 Let's go around back. 314 00:12:51,565 --> 00:12:53,399 Hello? Bartholemew's. Kyle speaking. 315 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,068 Hold on, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming! 316 00:12:55,069 --> 00:12:56,069 Hello? 317 00:12:57,154 --> 00:12:58,613 What do you mean, you don't get involved 318 00:12:58,614 --> 00:13:00,281 in regional staff pics? What if Cliff 319 00:13:00,282 --> 00:13:01,991 and his underlings picked "Mein Kampf"? 320 00:13:01,992 --> 00:13:04,661 You've never heard... Well, it's Adolf Hitler's manifesto. 321 00:13:04,662 --> 00:13:06,537 You might wanna look it up. 322 00:13:06,538 --> 00:13:08,998 "Mein" is spelled like chow mein, 323 00:13:08,999 --> 00:13:10,833 "Kampf" is spelled like camp. but with a K, 324 00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:12,251 and stick an F at the end. 325 00:13:12,252 --> 00:13:14,170 No, no, no, no, no, do-do-don't... 326 00:13:14,171 --> 00:13:16,130 What is time? Why are we here? 327 00:13:16,131 --> 00:13:17,840 I'm Miles Leonard. 328 00:13:17,841 --> 00:13:20,760 We should leave. This feels like an intrusion. 329 00:13:20,761 --> 00:13:23,096 Are you kidding? We can use this. 330 00:13:23,097 --> 00:13:25,473 - Ah! - New plan. If this guy's 331 00:13:25,474 --> 00:13:27,684 gonna teach us, we need to help him. 332 00:13:27,685 --> 00:13:30,019 We can't take advantage of whatever... 333 00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:31,354 this is. 334 00:13:34,191 --> 00:13:35,608 Where are you going? 335 00:13:35,609 --> 00:13:37,276 Stick with the plan. He's vulnerable! 336 00:13:37,277 --> 00:13:40,863 You guys are wimps! I should have brought girls. 337 00:13:40,864 --> 00:13:42,741 Waaaah! 338 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,380 Okay, here he comes. 339 00:13:48,381 --> 00:13:49,715 Everybody remember, be gentle. 340 00:13:49,716 --> 00:13:51,050 This is a man on the edge. 341 00:13:51,051 --> 00:13:53,010 All right, everybody, pipe down. 342 00:13:53,011 --> 00:13:55,138 This plan's on life-support. 343 00:13:58,683 --> 00:14:00,017 Is this a Mormon school? 344 00:14:00,018 --> 00:14:02,019 No, silly! 345 00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:04,647 We're doing more interview prep today, right, Sarika? 346 00:14:04,648 --> 00:14:06,774 Yeah. I'm psyched about it. 347 00:14:06,775 --> 00:14:10,027 We made official resumes. 348 00:14:10,028 --> 00:14:12,446 I watched "Working Girl" last night. 349 00:14:12,447 --> 00:14:15,699 Guys, this is a massive improvement in attitude. 350 00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:18,786 - Ha. - This is much more interesting than biology. 351 00:14:18,787 --> 00:14:21,038 Thank you. I... I hate knowledge. 352 00:14:21,039 --> 00:14:22,957 Don't imply that I hate knowledge, 353 00:14:22,958 --> 00:14:25,834 but, uh, yeah, why don't we jump into some interview prep? 354 00:14:25,835 --> 00:14:29,047 Right off the bat, I am seeing way too many bolo ties. 355 00:14:31,925 --> 00:14:33,467 Durbin Outfitters! 356 00:14:33,468 --> 00:14:35,719 - Durbin Outfitters! - Hel-lo! 357 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,888 We heard you're giving out money... 358 00:14:37,889 --> 00:14:39,723 No! Who told you that? Is that what people are saying? 359 00:14:39,724 --> 00:14:42,226 My kids need a monitor for presentations. 360 00:14:42,227 --> 00:14:45,229 Mine need a microphone also for presentations. 361 00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:47,064 And my kids need this technology 362 00:14:47,065 --> 00:14:49,316 where song lyrics pop up at the bottom of the screen 363 00:14:49,317 --> 00:14:51,235 and there's like a waterfall and a woman riding a horse. 364 00:14:51,236 --> 00:14:52,736 A... a karaoke machine? 365 00:14:52,737 --> 00:14:54,154 I can't buy you a karaoke machine! 366 00:14:54,155 --> 00:14:55,739 I'm looking for cuts! 367 00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:58,742 Come on, Durbs. The staff karaoke machine 368 00:14:58,743 --> 00:15:01,495 has been broken for the last three semesters. 369 00:15:01,496 --> 00:15:03,414 I know there's a song in you. 370 00:15:03,415 --> 00:15:05,874 I do a pretty good... 371 00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:07,584 "Thriller," along with the Vincent Price part. 372 00:15:07,585 --> 00:15:08,836 Yes! 373 00:15:08,837 --> 00:15:11,964 I knew it! 374 00:15:11,965 --> 00:15:13,632 Gotta do it... I love it! 375 00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:14,675 All right. 376 00:15:19,931 --> 00:15:23,893 Oh, crud, I just bought a karaoke machine. 377 00:15:29,274 --> 00:15:33,068 Oh, geez. There's my sad little guy! 378 00:15:33,069 --> 00:15:34,445 Oh... 379 00:15:34,446 --> 00:15:36,864 - Whooooh! - Oh, my God, what is this? 380 00:15:36,865 --> 00:15:38,902 - What are you doing? - Oh, I'm tapped into your kids, Jack. 381 00:15:39,123 --> 00:15:41,352 They told me what happened... 382 00:15:41,453 --> 00:15:44,621 how you microwaved that fast food taco with lettuce. 383 00:15:44,622 --> 00:15:45,956 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 384 00:15:45,957 --> 00:15:47,875 - The kids were at my house? - Yeah. 385 00:15:47,876 --> 00:15:50,461 They saw you drinking and practicing punching, 386 00:15:50,462 --> 00:15:52,921 and they were worried you were having 387 00:15:52,922 --> 00:15:55,174 some kinda breakdown, so they wanted to do something for you. 388 00:15:55,175 --> 00:15:56,717 That's the reason they went along 389 00:15:56,718 --> 00:15:58,135 with everything I said today... out of pity? 390 00:15:58,136 --> 00:15:59,803 No. Ram pride! 391 00:15:59,804 --> 00:16:01,805 When one of our own has their horns 392 00:16:01,806 --> 00:16:04,308 stuck in that fence, we're there 393 00:16:04,309 --> 00:16:06,310 to pull 'em by the caboose, and that is why 394 00:16:06,311 --> 00:16:08,145 you are off cookie duty. 395 00:16:08,146 --> 00:16:10,147 Because you're just under too much strain. 396 00:16:10,148 --> 00:16:12,649 I'm under no strain at all... my life is great, okay? 397 00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:14,485 And there is absolutely nothing difficult 398 00:16:14,486 --> 00:16:15,986 about baking cookies. 399 00:16:15,987 --> 00:16:18,238 Sorry, pal, because it's a no. 400 00:16:18,239 --> 00:16:19,990 They would be blood cookies, 401 00:16:19,991 --> 00:16:21,992 paid for with your sanity. 402 00:16:21,993 --> 00:16:24,453 You're a ridiculous person. I'm gonna go. 403 00:16:24,454 --> 00:16:26,497 Okay. 404 00:16:26,498 --> 00:16:28,999 I was pitied by a pack of dweebs? 405 00:16:33,546 --> 00:16:36,715 Dan Decker. Are you part of that dork recon team 406 00:16:36,716 --> 00:16:38,842 that's peeping in my windows? 407 00:16:38,843 --> 00:16:40,260 No. 408 00:16:40,261 --> 00:16:42,931 No one really loops me in on anything. 409 00:16:48,269 --> 00:16:50,187 You, uh... 410 00:16:50,188 --> 00:16:52,523 always come out here and eat lunch by yourself? 411 00:16:52,524 --> 00:16:54,358 Thought you'd be like on a team 412 00:16:54,359 --> 00:16:56,319 or part of a bully crew or something. 413 00:16:57,695 --> 00:17:01,198 Come on, man. What's the deal? 414 00:17:01,199 --> 00:17:03,158 I moved here from Florida like a year ago, 415 00:17:03,159 --> 00:17:06,703 and I'm kinda not that great at making friends. 416 00:17:06,704 --> 00:17:08,790 Can't even talk to the A. P. Bio kids. 417 00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:12,376 Is that Heather from class and the body of Wonder Woman? 418 00:17:12,377 --> 00:17:13,544 No, no. 419 00:17:13,545 --> 00:17:15,045 It... 420 00:17:15,046 --> 00:17:16,755 You just gotta give them something they want. 421 00:17:16,756 --> 00:17:19,091 You probably just have to say the word "Dumbledore," 422 00:17:19,092 --> 00:17:21,051 and they'd all high-five each other and go nuts. 423 00:17:21,052 --> 00:17:24,221 But that's not really the path I like for you anyway, man. 424 00:17:24,222 --> 00:17:26,640 I see you more as like a lone wolf. 425 00:17:26,641 --> 00:17:29,560 I mean, sure, people try to rope you into their bake sales, 426 00:17:29,561 --> 00:17:31,812 but... take it from this guy. 427 00:17:31,813 --> 00:17:33,981 The life of a lone wolf can be pretty sweet. 428 00:17:33,982 --> 00:17:36,024 Dude, I don't wanna be like you. 429 00:17:36,025 --> 00:17:37,360 Your life's a mess. 430 00:17:39,237 --> 00:17:41,238 My life's a mess? 431 00:17:41,239 --> 00:17:44,075 Y... you chose to eat next to trash! 432 00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:13,118 Hey, where do you think you're going with that? 433 00:18:13,785 --> 00:18:15,452 Hey... hey! 434 00:18:47,986 --> 00:18:49,695 This is a croquembouche. 435 00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:52,781 much like your cream puffs, but more impressive. 436 00:18:52,782 --> 00:18:56,660 It is you who will have the mental breakdown, Helen. 437 00:18:56,661 --> 00:18:59,830 This is a one-time exception. Write down everything I say 438 00:18:59,831 --> 00:19:02,791 right now. First, never dress like this again. 439 00:19:02,792 --> 00:19:05,461 Second, I took down the Miles cutout myself. 440 00:19:05,462 --> 00:19:07,546 I've been banned from the bookstore for life, 441 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,381 but... that's okay. 442 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,050 The only true sanctuary I'll have in this town 443 00:19:11,051 --> 00:19:13,343 is between these two ears right here. 444 00:19:13,344 --> 00:19:16,513 Third, and finally, never pity me. 445 00:19:16,514 --> 00:19:18,390 Did any of you go to Harvard? 446 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:21,018 Have any of you slept with 24 women? 447 00:19:21,019 --> 00:19:23,854 What you saw when you trespassed on my property 448 00:19:23,855 --> 00:19:25,022 was a man who eats what he wants, 449 00:19:25,023 --> 00:19:26,190 drinks what he wants, 450 00:19:26,191 --> 00:19:29,401 wears... what he wants. 451 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,154 It is a lifestyle most high school kids would kill for. 452 00:19:32,155 --> 00:19:35,240 It's sad to me that you can't see that. 453 00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:37,367 The only embarrassing part of my day 454 00:19:37,368 --> 00:19:40,746 is the 55 minutes I have to spend here. 455 00:19:45,877 --> 00:19:48,253 One more thing, though. 456 00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:51,090 Does anyone have anything to say about 457 00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:52,758 Dumbledore? 458 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:55,761 - Well, actually... - Dumbledore was clearly... 459 00:19:58,014 --> 00:19:59,598 Pipe down! Stop! 460 00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,725 Stop. Pipe down, pipe down. 461 00:20:01,726 --> 00:20:04,311 One at a time. Let's start with... Dan. 462 00:20:04,312 --> 00:20:05,939 You have the floor. 463 00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:18,450 If you're so embarrassed to teach this class, 464 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,952 Miles is probably the last person 465 00:20:19,953 --> 00:20:21,703 you want getting that picture. 466 00:20:21,704 --> 00:20:24,916 He won't, if you give the bio textbooks back. 467 00:20:26,209 --> 00:20:29,294 Like you said: Give them what they want. 468 00:20:32,882 --> 00:20:35,051 Ha. 469 00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,971 One chapter. Of my choosing. 470 00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:40,973 From the middle of the book. 471 00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:42,224 - All right, Dan! - Way to go, Dan! 472 00:20:42,225 --> 00:20:45,937 - Yeah, Dan! - All right, Dan. 473 00:20:48,439 --> 00:20:50,816 You're rooted. You're rooted, okay? 474 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:53,652 No compromise. 475 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:56,822 Hey, Jack, I am done compromising. 476 00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:59,283 Now, we have blown way past the sign on this one. 477 00:20:59,284 --> 00:21:01,410 Your class's lab equipment is due to be upgraded, 478 00:21:01,411 --> 00:21:03,453 but you're just gonna have to do without. 479 00:21:03,454 --> 00:21:05,747 - Sounds good. - Sounds g... Really? 480 00:21:05,748 --> 00:21:07,958 You can do that, and you're not gonna shortchange the students? 481 00:21:07,959 --> 00:21:10,169 Won't affect the lesson plan at all. 482 00:21:17,635 --> 00:21:19,971 Never compromise. 483 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:26,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 35481

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.