Original subtitles

Is this the decision?

It is.

Can you pay the price?

All of it.

The beast requires flesh to become flesh.

Your blood will be his price.

Revenge.

A worthy cause, but at a great price.

No. Ha!

I need you more.

I need to come back in style.

I need...

a posse.

Who will be

my new playthings?

A little piece of behemoth.

[raspy breathing]

I dub thee Punchy. [laughing]

I didn't want all this. I wanted just one. You.

What? More than you bargained for?

Consider it a bonus, bozo.

You, Gemini.

Freak Show.

Ahh, succubus.

Batty Boop.

I always wanted a girlfriend.

What? Where did he go?

Who is to be my victim?

No. What's happening?

I guess we're going home, schnookums. Oops!

I don't want to go. I want to kill.

[clown screaming]

Okay, everybody, listen up. Party's over. Move out, come on.

Now, let's go. People, move it.

See you later.

Be careful.

I am so sorry, Officer, everything just got out of hand.

And, um...

Do you live here? No, but I'm house sitting for my professor.

And he's out of town.

Okay, keep it down, please.

Yes, Officer. One warning, that's it.

Okay, thank you.

Good night. Thank you, Officer. Thank you.

Good job, baby.

God, what the hell?

Looks like your little shindig got out of hand, huh?

This has been a fucking great party.

Best spring break ever, right?

If it wasn't for the swine flu,

Whose idea was it to invite half the campus?

I said only a few people.

You guys have got to help me clean this place up

before the Professor gets back.

Sandie, come on, you know?

You know we're gonna help you clean up. I mean, look.

Whoa, Erica! Erica!

Let me just get the bottles. Sorry, okay.

I'll get the bottles. You get the paper.

[Man] Baby, it's gonna be okay. We'll help you clean up this godforsaken.

OSHA-condemned disaster zone up.

Stop trying to make me feel better.

I caught these two making out in the closet.

Get out. [Erica] Awww.

Awww, that's so romantic.

Yeah, I think that's romantic, too...

I do. Zilla, you're so funny.

Dude, what's wrong with you?

Look, man, I just get nervous, all right?

Nervous? You had the entire night to talk to her.

I know, but I'm kinda shy, man.

It takes me a while to warm up to a girl.

You're on the Dean's List. Girls line up for you, man.

I really like Erica.

Baby, baby, I gotta get Zilla hooked up.

Zilla? He's not a little boy. He can do his own dirty work.

That's what I said, but he really likes your BFF.

He's been giving her those puppy dog eyes all night.

She didn't notice?

No, she responds to audible speech and other social cues.

Not smoke signals.

What the hell's the matter with him?

He's shy, nervous. He starts sweating, fidgeting and stammering.

Hot flashes, cold flashes, lukewarm flashes.

Then it's just a total body meltdown.

Frankly, I think the reason we call him Zilla

is because his breath's a little stinky.

What the hell happened in his childhood?

Why does he follow you around like a puppy dog?

'Cause I'm the quarterback, baby. The man with the plan.

He takes care of me on the gridiron.

And I take care of him in the real world. He looks up to me.

Well, he's in trouble.

So are you.

[both gasping]

Sorry, Zilla.

It's fine, Erica.

Are you sleeping here tonight?

Absolutely, I am.

I think I have a shirt you can sleep in.

Don't worry about it, Sandie. I sleep in the nude.

Well, look at that. It's past my bedtime.

I guess I should get going.

I'll see you guys later. Later.

Bye, Zilla. Thanks for helping me clean up. You saved my butt.

You're way too serious, baby.

It was a mistake to have the party here.

The Professor gets back in three days.

This is the last of it. I finished the bedrooms.

Any puke up there?

Just in the bathrooms.

Thank God for linoleum.

I know. By the way, where are the mirrors?

What? I didn't see any mirrors. Where'd you put them?

Come to think of it

there weren't any mirrors in the house.

That's odd.

Coffee.

The paper.

I'll get the paper.

That's nice, dear.

What the hell is that?

I have no idea. I just found it outside.

Somebody obviously left it for us.

Rojer, I don't live here.

Just a house sitter.

Maybe it's for the Professor.

Does it have a note attached?

No, nothing.

I have no idea. Let's open it.

We can't. It's probably not for us.

You can't open mail that's not yours. Don't you know that?

This isn't mail. Just some bag.

We're not gonna know what's inside of it unless we open it up.

So what do you suggest?

Erica and Zilla are gonna be here tonight.

Yeah, baby, they will. What are you thinking?

Maybe it was left for one of them.

So you want to wait till later to open it?

Yeah. We'll find out what's in the bag later tonight.

All right.

What is it? We don't know.

Looks like a painting.

Maybe someone has a secret admirer.

Let's open it.

No, you guys, this could be for the Professor.

I don't see his name on it.

Yeah, baby, how long are we gonna wait?

It's probably something perishable.

Perishable? Like fruit.

I'm just impressed he used a word with more than three syllables.

Okay, children. Cut it out.

Okay, fine, let's open it.

Let's see what the hell's inside.

[Rojer] I think someone thought you needed a mirror.

Maybe they thought the Professor needed a mirror, Rojer.

It's beautiful.

So ornate.

It's probably an artifact,

Hey, Roj, check it out. That's my favorite part here.

Don't worry, Sandie. Nothing scary happens. Just watch.

What about it?

[all gasp]

[Rojer] What the hell?

That's your favorite part, man?

It's awesome, dudes!

Tomorrow night the Professor's back.

Before back to the dorms.

One more night to make a little trouble.

I'll drink to that.

Come on, give me a picture, damn it!

[Batty Boop] Maybe you need some bunny ears.

Yeah, well, Punchy ate the last set.

And anyway, aren't we digital yet?

Do you got the right input selected?

I don't know. I'm not an evil queen.

You're dressed like one. Shut up!

Operation manual.

All right, fish breath, come on, hand it over.

Here...

Chinese, I don't...

All right, fuck it.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

who's the baddest motherfucking clown of all?

I'm talking about Killjoy.

[mirror rattles]

[grunts]

Killjoy.

[Killjoy] Well, you know my name!

Seems you have me at a bit of a disadvantage, big boy.

What the hell?

It's Killjoy. You already said that!

Now who the fuck are you?

Well, whatever your name is... Zilla.

Zilla. [Laughing]

As in God?

Zilla.

You're scary.

Now what are you gonna do about it, big boy?

I'm gonna kick your fucking ass, homey.

[laughs ]

Not "homey." Killjoy.

But don't you think it would be better

if you picked on someone your own size, huh?

Oh, Punchy!

Ooph! [Chuckles]

Whoo-hoo-hoo! And it looks like it's fight time!

In this corner, hailing from who the fuck cares

is a fucking dude named after a Japanese monster.

But in this corner, the unstoppable force,

the Babylonian behemoth.

Put your hands in the air for Punchy,

the hobo clown!

All right, come here you. Come here you.

All right, I want a nice clean fight.

Kinda like a I need another asshole in my other armpit.

Right? [makes farting sounds]

No fish hooking, no hitting below the belt. [groans]

No rabbit punching. [laughing]

Get up, get up, get up, get up.

Time to fight, fight, fight, fight fight, fight, fight, fight.

Oh!

[bell rings]

Back to your corner, back to your corner.

[Killjoy] Come on. Okay, okay.

Okay. [Groans]

That was great, kid. You almost got this one. I swear to God.

You just gotta stick a move, stick a move, all right?

Come on, come on.

Here, right here, have a drink. No, wait!

You're supposed to spit in this one. Spit! Oh, yeah!

You got this. Remember your namesake Zilla, right?

Stick a move. Work the body.

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Up, up, up, go! Come on.

[gibberish]

What the hell are you?

He's the unstoppable force!

[grunting]

[wincing]

No! Come on, Rojer.

[Zilla panting]

Hey, Zilla!

Zilla! Hey!

Hey, what...

No! What's wrong?

No!

[Rojer] Zilla. Help!

Sandie, get my phone. It's on the table.

[Rojer] Call 911.

Hey, buddy.

[Man] What is your emergency? My friend, he's having a seizure.

Really?

He's getting the shit beat out of him.

Send a fucking ambulance!

Okay, here it comes.

What the fuck!

Come on, buddy. Hey, how are you? Hey. Zilla.

He's coming to.

[laughs, stammers]

What? No.

Where the fuck did he go?

You should have finished him off.

Uh-oh... [gibberish]

[screams]

I hate it when they get away!

Don't worry, baby.

They ain't going nowhere.

Nowhere but here.

We got him. He's coming to.

Hey, bud, we got you. [panting]

Let's get him up. Let's get him up. I got you, come on.

Come on, get up. Gotcha, bro. Here we go.

Here we go. On the couch.

I can't beat him. I can't beat him. There you go.

He's a huge... he's a huge... Zilla, what happened?

Unstoppable force. You all right, bud?

Big fucking boxing gloves.

What are you on? Hey, Zilla, doesn't use drugs, okay?

Big bodies. It could be something else.

You all right, buddy? Hey!

I don't know. Zilla, what happened?

I don't know. It was like a...

It was like a dream.

A really bad dream.

I saw Killjoy. Killjoy. No fucking way.

Who's Killjoy? No one. Just a hallucination.

No. What's with the ambulance? Where's the phone?

The phones are dead. What do you mean dead? I thought you got through.

I don't think so. The operator was...

Was what? Doesn't matter. I'm gonna get us out of here.

I'm gonna get the car. I'm gonna be right back.

Take Zilla to the hospital myself.

What the fuck?

What?

What's the problem? I don't know. I can't get out!

Something's blocking the fucking door.

What? Get back.

Next time, we've got to get every bit of him through.

I know, schnookums.

Don't worry.

He'll be back. As long as he looks in the mirror.

They'll all look. They can't help it.

Why can't I just go in there and kill them? Booya!

Because if they die in there,

we don't get to collect their souls.

They've got to come to me.

[winces]

That clown was just beating the hell out of me.

Then you guys pulled me out of it.

You mean we woke you up.

No, I wasn't sleeping.

You pulled me out of it.

Zilla, you were unconscious.

Then let him rest.

It's a little hard to believe this shit.

Our phones don't fucking work,

and we're trapped inside this house, okay?

But something weird is happening.

Come on, Sandie. As you said, let's let him rest.

All right, let's try to get him up to one of the beds

and then try and find a way out of here.

Hey, Zilla, buddy, come on. Here we go.

There we go. Come on, Sandie, you lead him. Okay.

I'll be up in a second.

I'm gonna clean up the blood.

[Rojer] All right.

Thataway, buddy, thataway. Good job.

Good job.

Oh, my God.

You flatter me.

You can't be real.

Really?

What do you think happened to your friend?

You think he cut himself shaving?

Or fell down the stairs?

You're a demon of vengeance.

What do you want with us?

Who would want vengeance on us?

Who indeed?

Vengeance is mine.

But I'm innocent.

Innocent?

Oh, yes, you must be joking. [Laughs]

[gas hisses]

[groans]

Innocent.

That may be true.

You see, you're not really the one that I want.

[laughs]

Your ass is mine! [laughing]

You guys believe me, right?

What do you mean?

That I saw him, saw Killjoy.

Zilla, I think it's better if you just get some rest.

Yeah, lay back. We gotta figure out what's going on here.

Then we're gonna deal with it.

All right? Just chill. Just relax.

What's going on? What's going on?

Huh? He's...

He's real. Demon from hell.

Who?

He feeds for revenge.

Ten years ago.

What are you talking about?

A decade ago he was summoned.

Killed the boy who summoned him.

He gets joy from death.

Guys...

stay away from the mirror.

[grunts]

[no audible dialogue]

Erica.

Erica.

Erica, is that you?

[grunts]

What the fuck was that?

No, Zilla, stay down. I'm fine, Sandie.

What the hell happened to you, man?

I don't fucking know.

Thought I saw someone. Who? Who'd you see?

I don't know. It was weird.

I turned around. No one was there.

Maybe it was Erica. It wasn't fucking Erica.

Where is Erica?

I don't know. You guys haven't seen her?

No.

Erica.

Erica.

Erica?

Erica.

Erica.

Erica?

Sandie, don't touch it.

I think that's her.

Sounds like she's in the mirror.

Erica.

Hello, kiddies.

Ahhh!

Doesn't she look delicious?

Holy shit, fucking Killjoy.

You're damn right it's Killjoy.

That's him, I guess.

[mocking] That's him, I guess.

What have you done with Erica?

Don't get your panties in a bunch.

I'll get to her in a minute.

What do you want?

A feast, if you will.

So you're just going to let us all enjoy

this scrumptious meal

by ourselves? Are you?

Oh! Oh!

[sniffs] She smells delectable!

You better get away from her or I'll... You'll what?

When you decide to join me,

you know where the door is.

Do you think they'll come?

They'll come.

But where is he, our guest of honor?

[Batty Boop] Not to worry, my painted prince.

Hi.

Cheer up. Your friends will come.

And we'll all have a bite.

[gasps]

Puppy meat, yum yum now?

Hold on there, tubby.

You'll have your chance. Keep basting.

[groans]

Where's the salt?

You're not seriously suggesting... You have a better idea?

You don't know what we're up against. I have a pretty good idea.

I'm gonna arm myself any way I can. I suggest you do the same,

especially if we're gonna go after Erica.

Okay, I guess you're right.

So we're going in.

We are going in, right?

Yes, we're going in,

but, Zilla, you don't have to go.

I may be beat up, but I'm bigger than both of you put together.

You're gonna need me in there. Here it is.

I see your point.

All right, what else repels demons?

[Rojer] I don't know. Zilla, what do you think?

How the fuck should I know? I'm not a comic book character.

You were in there. You had the most contact with him.

They're the ones that had all the contact, with my face.

Easy, guys. We have to think here. What kills a demon?

What can we use against them?

All right, maybe we oughta slow down and think this a little bit further.

Change up our strategy a little bit.

What do you mean? He's a clown, right?

Why are we afraid of clowns?

'Cause they're fucking stupid. How's this gonna help us?

A lot of little kids are afraid of clowns.

Yeah, why is that? Where you going with this?

Because they do horrible things to each other,

and we're supposed to laugh.

I'm not laughing at Killjoy.

I get it. That's the point.

What is? Exactly.

He's a clown.

Maybe we're supposed to laugh.

[Sandie] Don't shut the door! What's the hell's going on here?

Professor.

What are you kids doing? The door's stuck.

We're trapped. Trapped?

Sir, you wouldn't believe us even if we told you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. It's already begun.

What's begun? You know what's going on, don't you?

Did a package arrive here? You know about this?

When did package arrive and how did it come?

We didn't know what it was. How did it come?

It was in a bag on the porch.

You took it out of the bag?

Yeah, Zilla already got the living shit beat out of him, okay?

And Erica's stuck in there, in the fucking mirror.

With him.

Killjoy. Yeah.

Killjoy. We gotta go in there and get her.

No, no, no. You don't know what you're dealing with.

Excellent, excellent.

His soul is the most crucial.

Baby, what's so important about him?

He is the fool who conjured me.

It's his blood that fed my resurrection.

And it's got to be his blood that completes me.

Pumpkin, then why are we waing our time

with these dumb kids?

Bat, you floozy!

We've got to get that old man in here. He's got to come to us.

Besides, they just rot when you kill them out there.

Sorry, Mr. Crabbycakes. Yikes!

I still don't get why you care so much about this one.

Because this one stiffed me.

This one owes me a victim.

You cannot just summon a demon of vengeance

and not have a victim to sacrifice.

I need sacrifice!

I need blood.

[Rojer] Let me see if I got this right.

His name isn't even Killjoy?

Not his real name, not the original one.

How do we kill this thing and get out of here?

And that's my job, and your job is to get your friend back.

This is the research that I've been doing on this demon.

As you can see, Killjoy's a relatively new name,

but he's existed in the canon since ancient times.

So why does he keep coming back?

People conjure him for vengeance.

Just to wreak havoc and revenge.

I get it. What does he want with you?

Well, we have a disagreement.

You gotta be kidding me.

That's not important. Do you wanna get your friend back?

Or don't you?

Yeah, we do. What's the plan?

We created demons. We created religion.

We created the books that gave them life.

We feed them with our thoughts, our prayers

but we're also the ones

that wrote the book. What does that mean?

It means that if we understand the demon,

we can control it.

And I can make it feel pain.

So tell us what to do.

What I'm going to do is call Killjoy

by his true name, his original name,

and then that will give me power over him.

And then with the knowledge

that I've gained from these ancient pages,

I'll be able to banish him. Why don't you tell us his real name now?

It must be in his presence.

All you have to do is get your friend back through the mirror,

and I'll handle the rest. You sure you can take care of him on your own?

I've been doing research on this demon for years.

I'll deal with it.

Okay, when do we go in?

You getting cold feet now?

Cold feet?

Young man,

We're about to come face-to-face

with a pure expression of evil.

If you're not afraid, you will be.

Come on, come on, what's taking them so long?

Perhaps I should give them some incentive, eh?

Come on out! Come on!

What the hell was that? Shit, man, I got a bad feeling about this.

No shit.

[Killjoy] What's the holdup?

Dinner is ready and waiting.

If you don't come,

Guess that was the dinner bell.

Ready, guys? How could it wait?

Let's get it over with.

I'll go first.

Booya!

Hello, pretty boy.

[slurps]

Am I supposed to be here?

Sure you are. Where else would you be?

On a rescue mission, I think.

Finally, someone to take me away from all this.

Really? Save me!

Hey, I got a girlfriend.

What? How dare you make lewd and lascivious advances

on me when you got a girlfriend. Think of her.

I am. I am.

You are what?

You're one of those crazy psycho-bitches, aren't you?

I think that's the sweetest thing

anyone's ever told me.

[grunts]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can we talk?

Remember, just get your friend.

Leave Killjoy to me.

Okay.

What the fuck!

Hey, baby,

where have you been all this time?

I've been a good girl.

Really?

Have you? Yes.

Where's Erica? What, you mean dinner?

The main course.

Where's Rojer and Zilla?

Those two pathetic clowns are being well taken care of.

Don't worry about them.

You fucking bastard, you better not hurt my friends or I'll...

Or what?

People keep saying that

and I want to know what.

Let me guess. You're going to call me names.

No. Well, then,

maybe you're going to laugh at me.

Do you find me funny, huh? No?

Watch this.

Didn't you think that was funny? No.

Well, then you gotta dance.

What? Dance!

Dance.

Get this through your pretty little head,

when you say "or what,".

Or what?

You'll never see your friends again.

We'll have just a quickie, you know?

In and that's it.

Don't you mean in and out?

I got teeth everywhere, honey.

There's no out.

Shit!

Your girlfriend won't know.

She will if my dick's bitten off. Really?

Don't you got a boyfriend?

What a dreamboat.

Killjoy.

If you're cheating on him, he'll cheat on you.

He wouldn't do that.

How do you know?

You see, Punchy,

what I'm getting at is social equality

is not just a textbook concept.

It's a reality, and not just back on earth.

There is no reason why you can't demand justice,

why you can't demand equality,

some roll-on deodorant. And it all starts with you.

The higher-ups aren't gonna do a damn thing about it.

They just sit on your shoulders while you do the brunt of the work.

What the hell gives Killjoy the right to push you around?

[gibberish]

Come again. Bunnies.

Bunnies.

Now dance!

Why fight it?

What's that?

Why fight it?

I'm already trapped here.

You're not so bad. I take offense at that.

I mean...

You're kinda sexy.

Hell, you're hot.

You noticed. Yeah, I work out a little bit.

It's not all balloon puppets,

creamy maggot pies and juggling, you know?

See that?

It would appear that you're trying to make a deal with me.

Look,

I know who's boss around here.

I can get used to this.

I'm not a fool.

But I can be one

for you.

So you want to bargain for your life?

What could you possibly offer me?

I could offer you something that you've never had before.

And what would that be?

Consensual sex.

And...

I'm a virgin.

[gasping]

Thank you, evil one.

Here's something... I'm gonna take...

I've never had consensual sex before.

I'm sorry. Follow my lead.

Okay.

[thud]

Nothing.

I thought you said you were a virgin.

I watch a lot of porn.

Take me. I'm yours.

Okay.

Oh. Hey, baby, what are you doing here?

I see you're playing

with your food.

This? This is not what it looks like.

Okay, chowder breath. What's it look like?

She was coming on to me.

Are you actually telling the truth?

Yes, yes.

Ow!

Damn it, Batty! What the hell!

Am I supposed to believe that?

Yes, mm-hmm.

Besides, you get to play with your food.

Weren't you just getting your rocks off with her boyfriend?

What? [Batty and Killjoy] Shut up!

I'm a succubus.

That's my job. What's your excuse?

[laughing]

I'm Killjoy.

I don't need no stinkin' excuse!

[laughs]

Let vengeance be mine.

Power to the people, Punchy.

Power to the people! Power to the puppies!

[clang]

What's that? Yum yum now.

Oh, God.

Welcome all to my feast.

The feast of souls. The feast of fools.

Well, what are you waiting for? Dig in!

But before we get to the main course...

You, Professor,

tried to cheat me.

What?

What is he talking about?

A mistake for which you and your friends will pay!

It was not a mistake.

What are you talking about?

No?

Enlighten me.

You are a foul aberration,

A sick stench in the human mind.

You lure desperate people into your trap.

You prey on the weak, promising them strength,

and then you take everything they have.

Do I know you?

You will.

Kinda makes me hungry.

Say it.

Say it now.

Say what?

Dinner time!

No!

No!

[screaming]

Aah!

Why aren't you doing anything?

Ah, you...

Aah!

[grunting]

Hah! Ha ha!

Come on.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No! Ha ha ha!

[laughing]

Ooh.

Punchy!

You fat blundering idiot!

Destroy him!

Punchy,

now remember what we talked about.

There is no reason you have to take this abuse from him.

"Aboose"?

He has to take whatever abuse I give him!

Punchy, listen to me. These are nothing but rules.

He doesn't have any real control over you.

Me crush you.

No, Punchy, no! I am the boss!

Raah!

[growling]

What the hell are you doing? Why don't you say his name?

Yaah!

He already killed Rojer and Erica!

Uhhn!

Hah!

Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha!

There's the mirror.

Aah!

No one's going anywhere!

It's time for dessert!

The only way you're getting out of here is inside of me!

Feardarig!

Feardarig!

That is your true name.

I have many names!

And this book contains them all!

Red Cap!

Loki! Manthu!

I command you!

I control you!

I am the father of one of your victims...

One of the people that called you from the depths,

You tricked me.

You used these kids to distract me, to weaken me,

To exact your plan of revenge. Ha ha ha!

What?

Professor, is that true?

Careful. When hunting monsters,

you may become one yourself.

I know what I am!

You sold us out!

I'm doing what has to be done!

It's so devious.

I'm proud of you.

I was the object of your revenge.

I was the one!

Imagine that. Ow!

All this time it was me.

Shut up!

Why...

here's the part you don't want to hear.

The fatal flaw in your little plan!

You see, you're right.

[panting]

I am a part of you... aah...

And you are all a part of me!

I said shut up!

Aah!

Your son is a part of me!

How will you avenge him?

[Young man's voice, echoing] Good to finally meet you, Dad.

No.

It's me... Michael.

The son you never met.

Michael?

That can't be you.

Dad, we all become Killjoy.

When we call on him for vengeance,

we become part of him.

Soon you'll join us.

Dad, soon we'll be together.

I have power over you.

Is my name in the book?

Does it say Michael in there?

You see, we create these demons.

Welcome to the family.

Fucker!

[laughing]

What the fuck?

He's a clown. Laugh.

He's a clown. Laugh.

[groaning]

What are you laughing at?

Hoo!

Aah!

[barking, growling]

Gotcha!

[laughing]

Stop that!

I still have the Professor's soul.

I can live.

Feardarig!

Your name is Feardarig!

[laughing]

No.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall.

No!

No!

Oh, no.

[laughing]

[laughing]

She hasn't stopped laughing yet.

And what about her friends?

The police are still trying to get her

to say where she dumped the bodies.

We can help her.

We can stop the laughing.