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♪ If you're blue ♪
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♪ and you don't know
where to go to ♪
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00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:09,120
♪ why don't you go ♪
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00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,060
♪ where fashion sits ♪
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♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪
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♪ different types
who wear a big coat ♪
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♪ pants with stripes ♪
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♪ or cutaway coats ♪
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♪ perfect fit ♪
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♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪
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♪ dressed up like
a million-dollar trouper ♪
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00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:48,120
♪ tryin' hard
to look like Gary Cooper ♪
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♪ any way you know ♪
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♪ come, let's mix ♪
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♪ where rockefellers
walk with sticks ♪
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♪ or umbrellas ♪
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♪ in their mitts ♪
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♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪♪♪
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Captioning made possible by
Columbia pictures television,
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00:01:08,010 --> 00:01:08,280
fox broadcasting company,
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00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:12,010
and 1991 nci caption club/
grantsmanship
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I'm not there yet.
I'm not there yet.
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00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,200
I'm not there yet.
24
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,240
Sheesh.
25
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,200
Oh, all right.
26
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Here's Garfield.
27
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,230
Ha ha ha.
28
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What's wrong? Don't you get it?
29
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Look, he stole the lasagna.
30
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,250
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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Ha ha ha ha ha!
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Whoo ha ha ha ha ha!
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Uncle stuie, are you laughing
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or should I call 911?
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Your father was on a ladder,
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trying to change a light bulb.
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What's so funny about that?
38
00:01:56,070 --> 00:01:57,100
Pop.
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00:01:57,140 --> 00:01:58,260
Are you all right?
40
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,070
Yeah.
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00:02:00,110 --> 00:02:03,050
I forgot to use
head and shoulders this morning
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and the flakes are enormous.
43
00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:07,250
You always were the funniest one
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00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:08,260
in the family.
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My sister says on her honeymoon,
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you got even bigger laughs.
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00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,230
Maybe so,
48
00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:18,050
but at least in my sex life,
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there's someone else involved.
50
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:28,050
Stuie, why don't you
go back to your fish market
51
00:02:28,090 --> 00:02:31,080
and shove a Halibut
up your bass?
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Usually, pop, when you
change a light bulb,
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you don't need to remove
part of the ceiling.
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Son, there is a good
explanation for this.
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I'm changing
a light bulb in the hall
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00:02:45,090 --> 00:02:47,180
when Mrs. O'Miley walks out...
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00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:51,030
A rhino in
a fuzzy pink nightgown,
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with her stockings
rolled down to her ankles...
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When suddenly I realize
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00:02:57,070 --> 00:02:59,080
she ain't wearing ay stockings.
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Eww! Eww!
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00:03:01,070 --> 00:03:03,260
So I did what any
normal heterosexual male
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00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,040
would have done.
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00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,080
I blacked out.
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Men!
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You're nothing but
trouble with stubble.
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00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,050
What did I do?
68
00:03:12,090 --> 00:03:14,200
Hey, this is a female talking.
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00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,200
Assume you're wrong
and apologize.
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Mona, I'm very, very sorry,
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00:03:18,230 --> 00:03:21,040
and I'll never do it again.
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What did I do?
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00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:23,120
Where is she?
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00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,120
Who?
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00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,230
Your wife.
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00:03:25,270 --> 00:03:27,020
I dreamt you got married
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last night.
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00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,110
Mona, if I was married,
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I wouldn't be sleeping alone
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00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,100
on the couch.
81
00:03:32,140 --> 00:03:33,200
Why not?
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00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,210
My dad always does.
83
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:37,210
Here's what I'll do
about your dream.
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00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,240
I'll take a nap
and get it annulled.
85
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,270
Vinnie, I happen to take
marriage very seriously.
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00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:44,190
Marriage is like
capital punishment,
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00:03:44,230 --> 00:03:46,200
but at least
with capital punishment,
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you get a hot meal, a blindfold,
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00:03:49,070 --> 00:03:50,220
and a speedy death.
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00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:53,020
Just promise me you won't get
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00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:54,130
married today.
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00:03:54,170 --> 00:03:57,020
Mona, I would never
rush into marriage.
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00:03:57,060 --> 00:03:58,180
I'm a one-woman man.
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00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:01,050
And I'm going to find
that one woman,
95
00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:04,150
no matter how many hundreds
I got to go out with.
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00:04:04,190 --> 00:04:07,110
That's my boy.
97
00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:09,000
Vinnie, there's
something you got
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00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:09,260
to understand.
99
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,130
I like you so much,
100
00:04:11,170 --> 00:04:13,020
if you get married
without giving me
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00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:13,200
a chance,
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00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,100
I will turn your life
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00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:17,240
into a nonstop,
burning, churning,
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flesh-searing hell!
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00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,210
Toodles.
106
00:04:22,230 --> 00:04:25,290
What's appening
to sweet, little Mona?
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00:04:26,030 --> 00:04:27,160
She's becoming a woman.
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00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,200
[Jingle]
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Silverware.
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Service for three.
111
00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:45,100
Look out! Aah!
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I'm ok. I'm ok.
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00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,140
[Tinkle]
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Hey, crystal.
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00:04:50,210 --> 00:04:52,180
Service for thousands.
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Vinnie!
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I need to go over
my seating chart
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with that cute catering guy.
119
00:04:58,070 --> 00:05:00,120
Would you bring me my diagram?
120
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,050
Alixandra! Tsk tsk tsk.
121
00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:06,030
You barely know that guy.
122
00:05:06,070 --> 00:05:09,200
Vinnie, my dia-gram.
123
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,040
It's on the top of the desk
124
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,000
in the office. Ok?
125
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,090
Yeah, that I can do.
126
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Ahem.
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Ahem.
128
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:29,090
I'm clearing my throat
129
00:05:29,130 --> 00:05:32,090
so you'll know
I'm in the room. Ahem.
130
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:36,010
I'm not looking.
I'm not looking.
131
00:05:37,230 --> 00:05:39,010
Hi, Colleen.
132
00:05:39,050 --> 00:05:40,180
Hey, pal, do you mind?
133
00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:41,230
I'm just getting what
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00:05:41,270 --> 00:05:42,190
I'm getting.
135
00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:44,050
Then you can get back
136
00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:45,290
to getting what you're getting.
137
00:05:46,030 --> 00:05:47,000
Are you getting it today?
138
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,180
Yeah.
139
00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:50,210
Your seat is on
the seating chart
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00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,260
there, Colleen.
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00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:55,180
Boy, I bet tables 8 and 10
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00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:58,060
are going to be happy tonight.
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00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:00,260
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
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00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,100
♪ big, fat, and wide ♪♪♪
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00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,000
Well, slap me silly.
146
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,190
Immediate seating
up front, miss.
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00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:12,030
You know, sugar,
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00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:13,220
I used to be Clint Eastwood's
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00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:14,200
stunt double.
150
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,040
Maybe later on,
151
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:19,080
me and you can get
good, bad, and ugly.
152
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:23,070
I got a feeling
with a woman like that,
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I'd need a fistful of dollars.
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00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,170
[Wedding march plays]
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Vinnie?
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00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,200
Vinnie?
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00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,130
You're Vinnie verducci.
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00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:41,000
Yeah.
159
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,130
Don't you recognize me?
160
00:06:42,170 --> 00:06:43,250
Well, let me think.
161
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White gown, veil.
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00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:48,090
You must be the bride.
163
00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:49,450
You're definitely
Vinnie verducci.
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00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:55,060
Tyler Adams!
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00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,150
What are you doing here?
166
00:06:57,190 --> 00:06:59,180
Well, I was in the neighborhood.
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00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:01,120
Thought I'd get married.
168
00:07:02,290 --> 00:07:03,240
Vinnie.
169
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,150
Tyler.
170
00:07:05,190 --> 00:07:06,240
Vinnie.
171
00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:08,040
Tyler.
172
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,160
How long has it been?
173
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,080
Tyler.
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00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:15,130
It's been six years...
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00:07:15,170 --> 00:07:16,120
Eight months...
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00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:17,210
And 15 days.
177
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:19,190
Excuse me. I'm sorry
to interrupt, dear,
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00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:22,050
but they are playing your song.
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00:07:22,090 --> 00:07:25,040
Vinnie, you were my first.
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00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,050
You were my first, too.
181
00:07:27,090 --> 00:07:28,040
Oh.
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00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,200
And my favorite.
183
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:33,040
This will be such
a nice thing to talk about
184
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,200
on the receiving line.
185
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,240
Won't it?
186
00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:39,200
Say, why don't you
go get married?
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00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,240
Oh.
188
00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:45,190
Vinnie, I'm guessing
you know this girl.
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00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:48,170
I was a busboy
at a rich girls' camp,
190
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:50,030
and we fell in love.
191
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,030
Aw.
192
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:53,020
Then her parents found out
193
00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:54,180
and airlifted her out.
194
00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:56,030
What a sad story.
195
00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:58,180
Did you empty the ashtrays?
196
00:07:58,220 --> 00:08:00,210
Oh, no, she's marrying the guy
197
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,200
who was kissing Colleen!
198
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,050
If you were getting married
199
00:08:04,090 --> 00:08:06,050
and your fiance was a bum,
200
00:08:06,090 --> 00:08:08,050
would you want me
to do something?
201
00:08:08,090 --> 00:08:09,050
Absolutely.
202
00:08:09,090 --> 00:08:10,140
Ok, I'll do it.
203
00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:11,240
Emmet!
204
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,050
Emmet, have they gotten
to the "object" part yet?
205
00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:15,200
You just missed it.
206
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,040
Oh, no.
207
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,170
Then it's too late.
208
00:08:19,180 --> 00:08:22,040
Hmm, maybe it isn't.
209
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,150
[Fire alarm rings]
210
00:08:23,190 --> 00:08:24,250
Fire!
211
00:08:24,290 --> 00:08:27,040
Women and children,
you're on your own!
212
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,040
Oh!
213
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,110
No! Wait!
214
00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:32,080
Whoa!
215
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,170
Whew! Amber, are you all right?
216
00:08:36,210 --> 00:08:40,120
Yeah. I just love having
skid marks on my nose.
217
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,150
Yeah, there's nothing
as satisfying
218
00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:44,080
as buffing your ball.
219
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,180
[Knock on door]
220
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:50,280
I'll fix it Friday. Go away.
221
00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:53,170
I've been trying to call you
222
00:08:53,210 --> 00:08:55,030
for over half an hour.
223
00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:57,030
Who you been gabbing to?
224
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,070
Nobody.
225
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:05,240
This might explain all the bills
226
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,110
from 555-purr.
227
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:08,250
Verducci, you got to get
228
00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:10,050
to the club, quick.
229
00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:12,040
Vinnie's in trouble
and needs help.
230
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,200
He broke up a wedding.
231
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,190
Instead of a honeymoon,
there might be a hanging.
232
00:09:16,230 --> 00:09:18,080
Oh, boy. Let's go.
233
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,190
Shoo-whee!
234
00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:23,050
So this is where
mama said I'd end up
235
00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:25,080
if I didn't do my homework.
236
00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:30,200
Vinnie...
237
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,150
You stopped my wedding because
238
00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:33,200
of Brian, right?
239
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,040
Yeah, yeah.
240
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,200
I guess.
241
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,090
You're jealous?
242
00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:41,050
No, that's not
why I pulled the alarm.
243
00:09:41,090 --> 00:09:43,190
What do you see
in that guy anyway?
244
00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:46,050
Well, he's bright,
and he's charming.
245
00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:48,100
He's always on top of things.
246
00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:51,110
I got to give him that.
247
00:09:51,150 --> 00:09:53,290
Hey, Tyler, what the hell...
248
00:09:54,030 --> 00:09:55,190
Whatever he said, it's not true,
249
00:09:55,230 --> 00:09:57,010
and I didn't do anything.
250
00:09:57,050 --> 00:09:59,040
You guys talk.
251
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,280
I got some reading to do.
252
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:05,040
So that's why
you rang the alarm.
253
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:09,100
Who was she this time?
254
00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:11,170
You want to give us
some privacy?
255
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:13,200
No, don't go anywhere, Vinnie.
256
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,040
You promised you'd
stop fooling around
257
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,100
once we got married.
258
00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:19,020
But I had 10 minutes left.
259
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:21,040
Ok, it was a joke.
260
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,180
I'm sorry.
261
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:24,040
Come on. Let's get married.
262
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,050
Brian, no.
263
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:26,040
No!
264
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,090
Come on.
265
00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:29,280
Hey, hey, hey! The lady said no.
266
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,140
Hey, pal... uhh!
267
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:34,050
I don't think
you want to do this.
268
00:10:34,090 --> 00:10:36,230
I used to be
a professional boxer.
269
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:40,290
We don't really
want to tangle, do we?
270
00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:43,070
No, maybe you're right.
271
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:46,200
Brian, it's best
that we don't get married.
272
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,180
We never would have made it.
273
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:50,060
Why don't you just leave?
274
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:53,060
You'll never find
another man like me.
275
00:10:55,010 --> 00:10:56,260
That's what I'm counting on.
276
00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:01,000
Gee, Tyler, I don't know
277
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,050
what to say.
278
00:11:02,090 --> 00:11:04,200
I usually
don't know what to say,
279
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,050
but this time
I won't say anything.
280
00:11:07,090 --> 00:11:08,070
It's weird.
281
00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:10,040
My wedding just fell apart.
282
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,050
I know I should be upset,
283
00:11:12,090 --> 00:11:14,050
but all I can think about
284
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,050
is our last night at camp.
285
00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:17,290
We decided we'd go
skinny-dipping
286
00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:18,190
together,
287
00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:20,020
but only if we promised
288
00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:21,060
not to peek.
289
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,080
I peeked. I peeked.
290
00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:28,200
When we came out of the water,
291
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,050
we laid our blanket
down on the beach.
292
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,270
I remember how your body moved
293
00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:34,000
up against mine.
294
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,130
I should have never
put the blanket
295
00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:37,190
on an anthill.
296
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,050
Oh, god, Vinnie, this is crazy.
297
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,230
I should be crying.
298
00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:47,240
Remember we moved
to the gazebo then?
299
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,180
We fell asleep
in each other's arms,
300
00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:52,030
our bodies outlined
in the moonlight.
301
00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:53,110
The next morning,
302
00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:56,060
we woke up to the sound
of crickets, birds...
303
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:59,040
And the whole camp
laughing at us
304
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,050
while we tried to
cover ourselves
305
00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:01,270
with sod.
306
00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:03,200
Oh, Vinnie,
307
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,150
we could have
10,000 nights like that.
308
00:12:06,190 --> 00:12:07,200
How?
309
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,120
They turned the camp
into a mall.
310
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,080
No. There's another way.
311
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,090
Vinnie, will you marry me?
312
00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:21,040
Uh...
313
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,200
Uh, uh...
314
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,190
Uh, uh...
315
00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:25,280
[Whistles]
316
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,100
Uh-oh. I think that angry mob
317
00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:37,270
of wedding invitees
318
00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:39,130
might turn ugly.
319
00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:42,270
You want me to teach you
a choke hold?
320
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:45,120
No, Emmet, I think
they'll be all right
321
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,230
if we just keep them
entertained.
322
00:12:47,270 --> 00:12:48,230
Come with me.
323
00:12:48,270 --> 00:12:49,240
Oh, lord.
324
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,130
No. Please don't
make me do this.
325
00:12:52,170 --> 00:12:54,230
I'm not very good
in front of people.
326
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:56,280
I don't think I could do this
327
00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,270
even if my job depended upon it.
328
00:12:59,010 --> 00:13:00,130
Well, it does.
329
00:13:01,190 --> 00:13:03,000
♪ A-come on over, baby ♪
330
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,090
♪ a whole lotta
shakin' goin' on ♪
331
00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:06,240
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
332
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,030
♪ I said a-come on over, baby ♪
333
00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:10,080
♪ a whole lotta
shakin' goin' on ♪
334
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,280
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪♪♪
335
00:13:13,020 --> 00:13:14,010
Vinnie, I asked you
336
00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:14,280
to marry me.
337
00:13:15,020 --> 00:13:16,030
Are you ok?
338
00:13:16,070 --> 00:13:17,080
I don't know.
339
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,090
The last time I felt like this
340
00:13:19,130 --> 00:13:22,270
was after pop and I
had some bad clams.
341
00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:26,200
Vinnie, we got to talk.
342
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,120
Charlie verducci.
Pleased to meet you.
343
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,270
The pleasure's mine.
344
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,130
Just so long as the pleasure
345
00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:32,140
ain't Vinnie's.
346
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:34,040
See the gown she's wearing?
347
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,000
The custom is to
catch the garter,
348
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,080
not the whole bride.
349
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,270
It's not what you think.
350
00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:40,130
This is Tyler Adams,
351
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,270
my old girlfriend from camp.
352
00:13:42,010 --> 00:13:43,130
Come here.
353
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,100
I don't care who she is.
354
00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:46,270
We verduccis have a code...
355
00:13:47,010 --> 00:13:49,270
Never try to steal
a woman when...
356
00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:51,060
Tyler Adams? The rich one
357
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:52,130
with the helicopter?
358
00:13:52,170 --> 00:13:53,280
Can the code.
359
00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:55,130
Sweetheart!
360
00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:57,010
I've heard so much about you
361
00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:57,280
from Vinnie.
362
00:13:58,020 --> 00:14:00,110
Nice meeting you.
What did I miss?
363
00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:02,260
I just asked Vinnie to marry me.
364
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,250
We do.
365
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,080
Are you sure?
366
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,230
We is.
367
00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:10,050
It ain't just because you got
368
00:14:10,090 --> 00:14:11,000
a helicopter.
369
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,290
We'd marry you if you had an
370
00:14:13,030 --> 00:14:14,150
ordinary jet plane.
371
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:16,240
Pop, we got to be alone.
372
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:20,000
Come on, Vinnie.
Tyler can stay with us.
373
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,000
She's family now.
374
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:25,160
Mr. Verducci,
if you don't mind...
375
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,180
Oh, you mean the two of you.
376
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:29,000
Hey, no problem.
377
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,290
But what is this
Mr. Verducci stuff?
378
00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:32,280
Call me pop.
379
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:36,160
If you let this one get away,
380
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,010
don't come home.
381
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:41,130
Well, Vinnie,
382
00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:42,270
what's your answer?
383
00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:45,280
Listen, this is just
all too quick.
384
00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:47,240
We don't anything
about each other
385
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,130
anymore.
386
00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:50,230
I don't know what you stand for,
387
00:14:50,270 --> 00:14:52,130
what you believe in.
388
00:14:52,170 --> 00:14:55,280
I don't even know who
your favorite Simpson is.
389
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,070
Truth, justice, and homer.
390
00:14:59,110 --> 00:15:02,150
Ok, but this is all
happening so fast.
391
00:15:02,190 --> 00:15:06,000
I haven't even had
a chance to kiss you yet.
392
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,020
What if the ba-boom is gone?
393
00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:09,150
Tell you what, Vinnie,
394
00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:12,000
if the kiss doesn't
do anything for us,
395
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,150
we'll shake hands,
walk out of here,
396
00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:16,100
and hold on to our memories.
397
00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:19,000
Well, I was planning
on doing that
398
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,140
during the kiss.
399
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:23,000
So this kiss
means everything, huh?
400
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,080
Yeah.
401
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:28,100
Whoa.
402
00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:29,140
What?
403
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:32,000
There's a lot riding
on our lips here.
404
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,010
How about two out of three?
405
00:15:41,170 --> 00:15:42,150
Anything?
406
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:44,010
Kind of a tingle.
407
00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,120
Actually, more of a tinglette.
408
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,010
We should try again.
409
00:15:59,010 --> 00:16:00,180
Ba-boom. Ba-boom.
410
00:16:08,090 --> 00:16:09,100
Dearly beloved,
411
00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:11,090
we are gathered here today
412
00:16:11,130 --> 00:16:13,190
to join this man and this woman
413
00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:15,040
in holy matrimony.
414
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,180
If there is anyone here
415
00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:19,190
who objects to the union
of these two people,
416
00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:22,190
let them speak now
or forever hold their...
417
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:24,040
Vinnie, don't do it!
418
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,150
Mona, this is not a good time.
419
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:28,000
I'm getting married here.
420
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,000
I was asleep during
history class,
421
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,050
and I had the same dream
422
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:33,280
I had last night.
423
00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:35,280
Ok. You can go ahead.
424
00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:37,010
I do.
425
00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:38,280
I don't.
426
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:40,270
Pardon me. Excuse me.
427
00:16:41,010 --> 00:16:42,220
Pardon me. Excuse me.
428
00:16:42,260 --> 00:16:43,270
Wow.
429
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:45,030
Pardon me.
430
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,230
Excuse me. We don't know
431
00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:47,240
this person.
432
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,240
We have never seen her before.
433
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,100
Mona, wait till
I tell your mother.
434
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:54,110
How many people here
are married?
435
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,090
If you had to do it
all over again,
436
00:16:58,130 --> 00:17:01,110
how many would marry
the same person?
437
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,290
Mona, please.
438
00:17:07,030 --> 00:17:08,070
Go home.
439
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,220
Padre, pronto with the "I dos."
440
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,070
Mr. Verducci, you can't.
441
00:17:12,110 --> 00:17:13,290
Mona, you'll just have to
442
00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:15,070
live with this.
443
00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:16,280
Well, fine. You'll just have
444
00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:18,060
to live with this.
445
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,190
[Alarm sounds]
446
00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:21,240
Oh! Fire in the hall!
447
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,090
No. Get back there.
448
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:25,090
Get the wedding... no, no.
449
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:26,270
Have the wedd...
450
00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:30,050
♪ Come and shake your body,
451
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:31,040
baby, do the conga ♪
452
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,210
♪ you know I can't
control myself
453
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:33,140
any longer ♪
454
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:34,150
♪ come and shake your body,
455
00:17:34,190 --> 00:17:35,130
baby, do the conga ♪
456
00:17:35,170 --> 00:17:38,080
♪ you know you can't control
yourself any longer ♪
457
00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:41,010
Everybody!
458
00:17:41,050 --> 00:17:42,200
While Tyler's in the other room
459
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,210
with her mother,
460
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,060
we got to talk.
461
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,200
Can it wait? I love this song.
462
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,050
♪ Do the conga ♪♪♪
463
00:17:49,090 --> 00:17:51,210
Come on, pop. Pop.
464
00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:53,070
I don't know if...
465
00:17:53,110 --> 00:17:55,000
I know what you want me
466
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,060
to tell you...
467
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:58,150
How to handle a wife, right?
468
00:17:58,190 --> 00:18:00,020
It's very simple.
469
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,020
A wife likes to be treated
470
00:18:02,060 --> 00:18:03,060
with dignity, respect,
471
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:04,010
and kindness.
472
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,030
Now, you'll have
a perfect marriage
473
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:08,100
if you just don't
expect any of those
474
00:18:08,140 --> 00:18:09,160
things in return.
475
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,000
But, pop, I'm crazy
about this girl,
476
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,160
but I don't know
477
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,160
if I'm ready to get married.
478
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,150
I got a date tomorrow night,
479
00:18:17,190 --> 00:18:20,000
and I don't want to break it.
480
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,260
Some would view that
as a lack of commitment.
481
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,050
No man is ever ready
to get married.
482
00:18:25,090 --> 00:18:27,010
They're only ready
to get divorced.
483
00:18:27,050 --> 00:18:30,050
But you wanted
to marry mom, right?
484
00:18:30,090 --> 00:18:31,070
Of course,
485
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,060
but I was petrified, too.
486
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,190
I was afraid,
at the last minute,
487
00:18:35,230 --> 00:18:37,190
she'd wise up and back out.
488
00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:39,180
But, thank god, she didn't.
489
00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:41,190
So your mother and I,
490
00:18:41,230 --> 00:18:43,180
we had a wonderful marriage.
491
00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:45,090
I want the same thing
492
00:18:45,130 --> 00:18:46,290
for you, too, son.
493
00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:48,280
Then how come you're
always making jokes
494
00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:49,260
about marriage?
495
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,140
Because I'm a guy.
That's what guys do.
496
00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:54,110
But if we get married,
497
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:56,110
how can I keep her
498
00:18:56,150 --> 00:18:58,120
in the style
she's accustomed to?
499
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,270
I'll have to work
a lot of overtime
500
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:02,120
to buy a mansion.
501
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,130
Don't worry about it.
502
00:19:04,170 --> 00:19:06,140
We'll live in her mansion
503
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:08,140
until you can afford one.
504
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,100
This rich girl is the answer
505
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:11,140
to our dreams.
506
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:13,080
And you like her, too.
507
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,230
That's a wonderful bonus.
508
00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:17,280
But, pop, I hardly know her now.
509
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,070
Vinnie?
510
00:19:20,110 --> 00:19:23,050
I've been looking
all over for you.
511
00:19:23,090 --> 00:19:25,110
You ready to tie the knot?
512
00:19:25,150 --> 00:19:28,080
No way. I want to have kids.
513
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,240
Listen, we're both nervous.
514
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,160
I found a compatibility test
515
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,230
in this magazine.
516
00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:34,100
Let's see if we're right
517
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:35,160
for each other.
518
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,010
I love compatibility tests.
519
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,130
Me, too.
520
00:19:38,170 --> 00:19:39,180
Ok.
521
00:19:40,190 --> 00:19:42,040
Ok. Question number one...
522
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,070
"How many children
are you thinking
523
00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:45,030
of having?"
524
00:19:45,070 --> 00:19:46,220
Seven. Seven.
525
00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:50,290
Well, six boys, one girl.
526
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:55,130
I'm sure a lot of people want
527
00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:57,110
six boys and one girl.
528
00:19:57,150 --> 00:19:58,130
Yeah.
529
00:19:58,170 --> 00:19:59,210
Yeah. Ok.
530
00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:01,070
Uh, question two...
531
00:20:01,110 --> 00:20:03,070
"How many times a week
532
00:20:03,110 --> 00:20:05,070
do you and your lover
533
00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:06,150
want to..."
534
00:20:06,190 --> 00:20:08,280
31.31.
535
00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:10,130
Well, actually 32,
536
00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:13,070
but I didn't want to scare you.
537
00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:15,110
Actually 40, but I didn't want
538
00:20:15,150 --> 00:20:16,150
to scare you.
539
00:20:16,190 --> 00:20:17,160
Ooh.
540
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,010
Number three...
541
00:20:19,050 --> 00:20:20,130
"Is your partner totally and
542
00:20:20,170 --> 00:20:21,110
unconditionally
543
00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:23,080
committed to the relationship?"
544
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:24,200
Totally.
545
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,160
If you are.
546
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,110
Unconditionally.
547
00:20:28,150 --> 00:20:30,160
If you are.
548
00:20:35,060 --> 00:20:37,000
I don't think I'm ready
549
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,140
to get married.
550
00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,060
Me either.
551
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:42,240
So, you won't be my wife?
552
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,100
No, I won't.
553
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,100
And you won't be my husband?
554
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:47,140
No.
555
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:50,170
We're so lucky
not to have each other.
556
00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:55,090
[Helicopter approaches]
557
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,270
My ride's here.
558
00:20:58,170 --> 00:20:59,280
Are you sure
559
00:21:00,020 --> 00:21:02,070
you don't want
to come to Europe?
560
00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:03,180
I've never been more unsure
561
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,220
of anything before.
562
00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:06,220
But when you get back,
563
00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:08,220
can we see each other again?
564
00:21:08,260 --> 00:21:10,220
Do you really want to see me?
565
00:21:10,260 --> 00:21:12,230
I've never been more sure
566
00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:14,160
of anything before.
567
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,010
Kids today...
568
00:21:26,050 --> 00:21:29,000
They don't understand
marrying for money.
569
00:21:30,090 --> 00:21:31,060
Hey, Vinnie,
570
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:33,010
you did the right thing.
571
00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:35,280
So what if you
gave up $3 million?
572
00:21:36,020 --> 00:21:37,030
Who cares?
573
00:21:37,070 --> 00:21:38,290
Charlie, she's worth 30 million.
574
00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:40,150
You're both wrong.
575
00:21:40,190 --> 00:21:41,290
She's worth 300 million.
576
00:21:42,030 --> 00:21:44,290
Wait! Hold that chopper!
We love you!
577
00:21:45,030 --> 00:21:47,040
Hold that chopper!
578
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,000
Oh!
579
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,020
Hey, pop. Watch out
for the tree.
580
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,150
Ooh!
581
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,270
Captioning performed by
the national captioning
582
00:22:01,010 --> 00:22:02,010
institute, inc.
583
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,130
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
584
00:22:07,170 --> 00:22:08,140
national captioning institute
585
00:22:08,180 --> 00:22:11,170
captions copyright 1991
elp communications
37243
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