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♪ If you're blue ♪
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00:00:04,220 --> 00:00:07,020
♪ and you don't know
where to go to ♪
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00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:09,120
♪ why don't you go ♪
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00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,060
♪ where fashion sits ♪
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00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:16,170
♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪
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♪ different types
who wear a big coat ♪
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♪ pants with stripes ♪
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♪ or cutaway coats ♪
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♪ perfect fit ♪
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00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:32,100
♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪
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♪ dressed up like
a million-dollar trouper ♪
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00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:48,120
♪ tryin' hard
to look like Gary Cooper ♪
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♪ any way you can do it ♪
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00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,130
♪ come on, let's mix ♪
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00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:54,010
♪ where rockefellers
walk with sticks ♪
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♪ or umbrellas ♪
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00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,000
♪ in their mitts ♪
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♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪♪♪
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Captioning made possible by
Columbia pictures television,
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00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:08,270
fox broadcasting company,
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00:01:09,010 --> 00:01:12,000
and 1991 nci caption club/
grantsmanship
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Oh, baby. Oh, yes, baby.
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00:01:22,030 --> 00:01:23,200
Oh, that is so good.
24
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:24,290
Oh.
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00:01:25,030 --> 00:01:27,270
Sure. I'll call you
in the morning.
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00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:34,050
Vinnie, do me a favor.
27
00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:38,220
Tell your cat
not to sleep on my face.
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It gets very frustrating.
29
00:01:40,130 --> 00:01:42,110
He can't help it. Your breath
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00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:43,230
smells like tuna.
31
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,260
It's 3:00 in the morning.
32
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,230
You're just coming back
from the country club?
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00:01:50,270 --> 00:01:53,090
I worked this rich guy's party.
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00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:55,040
They complained
about their wives
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00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,290
and bragged
about their girlfriends.
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00:01:57,030 --> 00:01:59,140
Guys like that make me sick.
37
00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:01,150
They got wonderful
relationships with
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00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:02,150
terrific women,
39
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:04,190
and they ruin it by talking
40
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,090
about their wives.
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[Ring]
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00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,140
Hello.
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00:02:09,180 --> 00:02:10,290
Oh, hi, Heidi.
44
00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:12,290
I'm on my way over.
45
00:02:13,030 --> 00:02:14,190
Protection?
46
00:02:14,230 --> 00:02:16,270
Well, I got a baseball bat
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00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:18,030
in the car.
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00:02:18,070 --> 00:02:19,090
Right.
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00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:22,090
Boy, she must live in a bad
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00:02:22,130 --> 00:02:23,110
neighborhood.
51
00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:26,060
Not everybody
can live in paradise.
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00:02:27,070 --> 00:02:29,130
What shirt do you like better?
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The blue one.
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Ok.
55
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Hey.
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00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:36,160
You ain't going out
now, are you?
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00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,120
What could you do with a girl
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00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,190
at 3 A.M.?
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00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,010
Oh, my god. I'm turning
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00:02:44,050 --> 00:02:45,100
into my father.
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00:02:45,140 --> 00:02:46,240
Hey, Vinnie,
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00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,060
if you see me driving like this,
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00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:50,100
shoot me.
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00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:54,080
Compared to those guys
at the club tonight,
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00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:55,280
you're a spring chiclet.
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00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:58,280
They were talking
about this stupid new game
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they're playing
called corporate raiders.
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00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,200
You buy millions of chairs,
69
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,190
and you turn them over.
70
00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:08,150
That's supposed to be fun?
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00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:11,050
I'll stick with donkey Kong.
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00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,150
Vinnie, Vinnie,
let me translate here.
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00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:15,270
They're talking
about the stock market.
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00:03:16,010 --> 00:03:17,120
They weren't buying chairs.
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00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,200
They were buying shares.
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00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,050
They're planning a takeover,
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00:03:21,090 --> 00:03:22,200
not a turnover.
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00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,190
Vinnie, Vinnie,
a stock tip like this
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00:03:25,230 --> 00:03:28,090
can make our dream come true.
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00:03:28,130 --> 00:03:30,120
You mean world peace, pop?
81
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,140
Even better!
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00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:33,230
A chance to live in a house
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00:03:33,270 --> 00:03:35,230
where you can take a shower
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00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:38,020
and flush at the same time!
85
00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:40,170
Do places like that
really exist?
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00:03:40,210 --> 00:03:42,210
They do, Vinnie. They really do.
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00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:44,210
For you to make money
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00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,210
on what you learned tonight,
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00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:48,240
remember the company
those rich guys
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00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,030
were talking about.
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00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:52,180
You don't have the best memory,
92
00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:54,180
and I'll try to help you.
93
00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:57,040
Did it start with an "a"?
94
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,030
No.
95
00:03:58,070 --> 00:03:59,040
A "b"?
96
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,050
No.
97
00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:03,060
Ask me if it starts with a "p."
98
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:04,240
Give me that.
99
00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:07,260
"Pan-newco corporation."
100
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,030
Vinnie!
101
00:04:09,070 --> 00:04:11,190
You know how valuable
this card is?
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00:04:11,230 --> 00:04:14,110
You bet. I wrote
a waitress' number
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00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:15,020
on it.
104
00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:16,180
You know, son?
105
00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:18,020
You don't remember this.
106
00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:19,180
When you were 4,
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00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:21,150
you wanted this shiny new truck
108
00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:22,170
for Christmas,
109
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:24,180
and I couldn't afford it.
110
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:26,030
Every year after that,
111
00:04:26,070 --> 00:04:27,180
it made me sick
112
00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:29,180
every time I heard the sounds
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00:04:29,220 --> 00:04:30,220
of Christmas.
114
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:34,230
Hey, even Santa sweats.
115
00:04:34,270 --> 00:04:36,180
Nevertheless,
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00:04:36,220 --> 00:04:39,030
if I could raise the money
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00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,030
to buy this pan-newco stock,
118
00:04:41,070 --> 00:04:43,130
next Christmas, I'll
have Santa bring
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00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:44,180
you that truck.
120
00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:47,060
What do you think of that?
121
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,160
Mr. Clayton, I'd like
to talk to you.
122
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,170
How'd you like to be rich?
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00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:01,280
I am rich.
124
00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:04,130
Could you use a few bucks?
125
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,010
Who couldn't?
126
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:08,100
Verducci, I'm the
wealthiest member
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00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,120
of this club,
128
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,120
and you're the
poorest nonmember.
129
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,240
Why should I listen to you?
130
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:16,230
Hey, I won't take
a nickel from you
131
00:05:16,270 --> 00:05:18,090
unless you make money.
132
00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:19,240
Here's the deal...
133
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,280
Pan-newco corporation
is about to be
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00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:22,240
taken over,
135
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,240
so that means the stock's
worth a fortune.
136
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,090
For such a tip,
137
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:30,090
my end is, what,
50% of the profits?
138
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,230
Be grateful for 10.
139
00:05:31,270 --> 00:05:33,050
Very grateful.
140
00:05:33,090 --> 00:05:35,100
You're sure you got this
141
00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:37,260
from somebody who
can manage money?
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00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,090
Absolutely.
143
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:42,120
Hey, give me back my wallet.
144
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:50,250
Don't forget. I'm offering this
145
00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:51,290
just to you.
146
00:05:54,010 --> 00:05:55,020
Psst.
147
00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:56,120
Clifford.
148
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,240
Could you use a few extra bucks?
149
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,260
Pardon us.
Official club business.
150
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,100
Verducci, Ms. Stone
wants to see you.
151
00:06:04,140 --> 00:06:05,260
Not now. I'm working.
152
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,260
Are you in the mood
for a barbecue?
153
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,080
A barbecue?
154
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,020
Because Ms. Stone's
going to grill your buns.
155
00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:15,010
Hey, now, you little hellions.
156
00:06:15,050 --> 00:06:17,010
Give Vinnie back his shoe!
157
00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:18,220
Verducci, I hear
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00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:20,220
you're dispensing
financial advice
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00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:21,250
to our members.
160
00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:25,060
That's like the pope
giving out sex tips.
161
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:28,060
If you want
the name of the stock,
162
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:31,060
why don't you
seduce it out of me?
163
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:36,060
Oh, boy, I would love
to get you in the sack.
164
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:38,000
Yeah? And then what?
165
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,150
Then I'd throw in some rocks
166
00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:43,030
and throw you over a bridge.
167
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,020
Does that mean
a back rub is out?
168
00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:48,290
Emmett, I got new employees...
169
00:06:49,030 --> 00:06:51,000
I'm a highly-trained
security engineer.
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00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,150
It's not my job to give tours
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00:06:53,190 --> 00:06:56,030
to every Tom, dick, and Harry.
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00:07:00,090 --> 00:07:02,070
My, oh, my, oh, my.
173
00:07:02,110 --> 00:07:03,270
Ain't life sweet?
174
00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:05,110
Terry Lynn, Gina, lotus,
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00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:06,270
say hello to Emmett.
176
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,030
Hi, Emmett.
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00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:10,030
Say it again.
178
00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:11,280
Hi, Emmett. Hi, Emmett.
179
00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:13,010
Hi, Emmett.
180
00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,160
Emmett, cool your drool.
181
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,010
Take the girls back
182
00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:18,010
and get their clothes off
183
00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:19,160
and into their uniforms.
184
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,260
Up until now,
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00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,230
the dental plan was
my favorite benefit.
186
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:27,240
Come on, girls. My name
is Emmett lefebvre,
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00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,100
but you can call me hef.
188
00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:31,140
Uh, Vinnie,
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00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:33,090
who are these girls?
190
00:07:33,130 --> 00:07:35,280
You told me to hire
three waitresses
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00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:36,220
at 1:00.
192
00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:38,220
No, Vinnie. I told you
193
00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:41,080
to hire one waitress at 3:00.
194
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,200
You'll have to give two of those
195
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,230
a pink slip.
196
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:46,230
You know, I was thinking
197
00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:49,210
more in terms of a black Teddy.
198
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:53,050
Two of those girls
have to be fired.
199
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,060
Good luck.
200
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,050
Vinnie, you made the mistake.
201
00:07:56,090 --> 00:07:58,240
You have to rectify it
with them.
202
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,090
I barely know them.
203
00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:03,020
I can't ask them to do that.
204
00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:07,280
Rectify?
205
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:09,130
Rectify.
206
00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:11,130
I got to look it up.
207
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:12,130
Rectify.
208
00:08:12,170 --> 00:08:14,290
W-r-e-c-k...
209
00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:16,280
That was the last time
210
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:19,020
old Patrick Swayze bothered me.
211
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,240
Uh, Emmett, Emmett.
212
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,090
I need your help.
213
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,020
I got to fire
two of these girls.
214
00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:32,060
You try, and I'll beat you
to death with my flashlight.
215
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,080
Uh, Terry Lynn,
can I speak to you?
216
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:41,130
Sure, but first I want
to ask you something.
217
00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:44,160
Can I have you
for dinner tonight?
218
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,170
I'd love to be had
for your dinner,
219
00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:49,160
but you got to understand,
220
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,250
I'm in a position
of responsibility
221
00:08:51,290 --> 00:08:53,000
here, you know?
222
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,130
Oh, what a horny dilemma.
223
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,020
Hey, where do you think
you're going, buster?
224
00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:04,170
I'm here to see
Charlie verducci.
225
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,240
It's my job to stop people.
226
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,120
To stop people from doing what?
227
00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:12,160
Stop people from being thirsty.
228
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,120
Would you like a cup of coffee?
229
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,270
Verducci's the tall one
over there.
230
00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:20,110
If you want to rough him up,
231
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:22,110
I'll look the other way.
232
00:09:22,150 --> 00:09:23,120
Hey, verducci.
233
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,120
Yeah?
234
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,260
You asked my boss for money.
235
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,110
He ok'd you for 10 gs.
236
00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:31,090
I asked for 100 gs.
237
00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:32,250
Well, here's 10,000.
238
00:09:32,290 --> 00:09:35,250
You don't pay us back
in a month,
239
00:09:35,290 --> 00:09:37,280
and you'll owe us 100,000.
240
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,190
Pop,
241
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:44,130
that guy's a loan shark.
242
00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:46,260
Why didn't you go to a bank?
243
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,200
I'd have better luck taking out
244
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,270
Michelle pfeiffer.
245
00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:52,120
If you don't pay him back,
246
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,130
you'll walk
like Michelle pfeiffer.
247
00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:56,140
I borrowed this because I got
248
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,280
to buy that stock.
249
00:09:58,020 --> 00:10:00,070
Vinnie, look around you.
250
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,180
It's a figure of speech.
251
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:07,250
Oh.
252
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:10,230
You see all these guys
in this club?
253
00:10:10,270 --> 00:10:14,060
Not one of them
gets a call at 3:00 A.M.
254
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:15,200
To fix a toilet.
255
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,050
But they don't
get the satisfaction
256
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:20,090
of a good flush, either.
257
00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:23,060
Be that as it may,
258
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,210
take this measly 10,000,
259
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,150
go to that brokerage house
260
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,200
on the corner,
261
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,100
get 1,000 shares of pan-newco
262
00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:30,060
corporation.
263
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:31,090
Got that?
264
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,240
Why don't you go?
265
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,090
I got to line up more investors.
266
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:37,290
This place is like a candy store
267
00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:39,140
filled with rich people.
268
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:42,140
I want to grab them
by their milk duds.
269
00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:43,290
Go ahead. Go.
270
00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:47,250
$10,000. I better
guard this with my life.
271
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,120
Hey!
272
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,270
Oh, my, what a nice allowance.
273
00:10:54,010 --> 00:10:56,070
Why do I think that this comes
274
00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:57,180
from a shylock?
275
00:10:57,220 --> 00:10:59,140
How do you know that stuff?
276
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:02,220
Hey, I wasn't born
with a silver spoon
277
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:04,000
in my mouth.
278
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:08,060
I'll bet your mother
was happy about that.
279
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,180
Pop wants me to buy stock
280
00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:13,080
so he can become
a big financial typhoon.
281
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,140
He's got the hot air.
282
00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:18,150
Listen, Vinnie, your pop
is lousy with money.
283
00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:20,220
Don't invest that
loan shark's money.
284
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:23,290
You don't want to see
your father take a bath.
285
00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:26,090
No... although when I was a kid,
286
00:11:26,130 --> 00:11:29,090
I used to enjoy
watching him shave.
287
00:11:29,130 --> 00:11:32,020
In my old neighborhood,
there was this woman,
288
00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,040
Mrs. Esposito.
289
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,290
Before she borrowed
money from a loan shark,
290
00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:38,040
she was Mr. Esposito.
291
00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:41,200
Ooh.
292
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:45,260
"Rectify...
293
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,200
To correct or set right."
294
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:54,000
You know, the dictionary
can come in mighty handy.
295
00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:02,140
Hi, honey. I'm home.
296
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:06,290
I'm not your honey.
This isn't your home.
297
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:07,290
What gives?
298
00:12:08,030 --> 00:12:10,040
I made you breakfast in bed.
299
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,290
Mona, at your age, it should be
300
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,260
breakfast in crib.
301
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,290
But it's still delicious,
302
00:12:17,030 --> 00:12:20,230
and you better hurry
if you want it hot.
303
00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:22,290
Mona, cool it.
304
00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:24,230
You're oversexed.
305
00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:27,210
You know, when I was your age...
306
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:29,100
Well, I was oversexed, too, but
307
00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:30,130
that's different.
308
00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:31,280
I was a boy.
309
00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:33,130
Listen, I need help.
310
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:36,120
If you're asked to
do something wrong...
311
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,050
I like the sound of this so far.
312
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:41,280
Look. I'm stuck with
this 10 grand pop
313
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:43,140
thinks I invested.
314
00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:46,090
I don't know what to do with it.
315
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:47,090
I know.
316
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:49,010
Let's go to Victoria's secret
317
00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:52,000
and see if they have
a teen department.
318
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,110
Here. Hide this.
319
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,150
Shh.
320
00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:01,290
Vinnie! Look at the TV.
321
00:13:02,030 --> 00:13:04,090
That stock went up two points.
322
00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:06,070
We're up $2,000, my little good
323
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,030
luck charm.
324
00:13:07,070 --> 00:13:08,180
Isn't america great?
325
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:10,040
Where else can you make money
326
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,120
while you're asleep?
327
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,120
The post office?
328
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,080
It went up another point!
329
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,180
[Telephone rings]
330
00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:17,240
Hello?
331
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,230
Yeah. Hold on a second.
332
00:13:19,270 --> 00:13:21,230
It's for you, Vinnie... Heidi.
333
00:13:21,270 --> 00:13:23,060
I'll talk to her.
334
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:24,170
No, no, no.
335
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:26,060
Hi, Heidi? Vinnie can't
336
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,140
go out tonight.
337
00:13:27,180 --> 00:13:31,020
He's taking our kids
to Chuck E. Cheese.
338
00:13:33,210 --> 00:13:34,210
Bye.
339
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:37,020
Tramp.
340
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:39,160
It was Heidi.
341
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,230
I guess you won't
be yodeling in her
342
00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:44,190
mountains anymore.
343
00:13:44,230 --> 00:13:46,180
I think she likes you.
344
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:48,190
She's ruining my life.
345
00:13:48,230 --> 00:13:51,270
That's what happens
when they like you.
346
00:13:52,010 --> 00:13:54,090
Something the matter
with your foot?
347
00:13:54,130 --> 00:13:55,240
What money?
348
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,270
Vinnie! Vinnie!
349
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,190
It's up another two points!
350
00:13:58,230 --> 00:14:00,100
Woo-hoo-hoo!
351
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:03,190
Attention poor people.
352
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,290
I have some announcements
to make.
353
00:14:06,030 --> 00:14:09,030
Announcement number one...
I'm no longer one of you.
354
00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:10,220
I'm now filthy rich.
355
00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:14,130
It's all due to my son,
the greatest kid anywhere,
356
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:15,210
Vinnie verducci.
357
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:19,120
God bless him.
Vinnie, come take a bow.
358
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,270
I love this kid!
359
00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,140
Look at this face.
360
00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:24,240
Vinnie, say something
for the benefit
361
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,080
of the poor people.
362
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,090
Pop, how far of a jump is that?
363
00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:31,090
Look how he makes jokes.
364
00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:33,250
Ok. Announcement number two...
365
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,080
Announcement number 32...
366
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,240
I'm giving my notice to quit,
367
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:43,020
so in two weeks, you'll notice
368
00:14:43,060 --> 00:14:44,190
I'm gone.
369
00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:46,030
Here's the good news...
370
00:14:46,070 --> 00:14:47,190
Now that I'm rich,
371
00:14:47,230 --> 00:14:49,020
Christmas comes early
372
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:50,190
for you poor people.
373
00:14:50,230 --> 00:14:52,110
I'm buying all new pants,
374
00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:53,190
all new shirts,
375
00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:56,090
and a second pair of underwear.
376
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:58,040
Here, here. Wear them.
377
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,040
Play with them. Enjoy them.
378
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,060
Hey, verducci, shut up
and fix my pipes!
379
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,200
Hey, carlotta, blindfold your
380
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,060
husband
381
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:08,250
and get him to fix your pipes.
382
00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:10,190
More news to follow.
383
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:14,050
Vinnie, now that we're rich,
384
00:15:14,090 --> 00:15:16,170
I'll buy you whatever you want.
385
00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:18,240
Hey, how does a corvette sound?
386
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,210
Uh... vrooo...
387
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,020
Vrooo...
388
00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:24,060
Vrooo...
389
00:15:25,170 --> 00:15:27,030
I'll assume you're joking again.
390
00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:28,290
Pop, you don't actually have
391
00:15:29,030 --> 00:15:30,030
the money yet.
392
00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:32,010
Remember... don't
count your chickens
393
00:15:32,050 --> 00:15:34,060
before the bird's in your hand,
394
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,230
because haste makes waste.
395
00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:38,040
You know, since
we've become rich,
396
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,190
you've become very profound.
397
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,030
But remember one thing...
398
00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:44,040
For this to continue to work,
399
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,190
we got to be quiet about it.
400
00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:49,050
You got a tendency
to be a little
401
00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:50,120
too trusting.
402
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,130
I am not too trusting.
403
00:15:52,170 --> 00:15:53,270
[Knock on door]
404
00:15:54,010 --> 00:15:55,240
Come on in. It's open.
405
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:59,180
Oh, hi, Vinnie.
Gee, I feel terrible.
406
00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:02,280
That stock I asked you
not to buy is up
407
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:04,060
five points.
408
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,200
How'd you tell him?
409
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,200
Very gently. I didn't tell him.
410
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,180
Vinnie, you have to!
411
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:13,200
Isn't there some
other way to rectify
412
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,290
this problem?
413
00:16:15,030 --> 00:16:17,060
No. You have to do it.
414
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,110
Now, I'm adamant about this.
415
00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:22,120
Oh, no. Adamant. Not again.
416
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,210
Who would have
thought your father
417
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:27,010
could ever be right about money?
418
00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:29,060
I should mind my own business.
419
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:31,070
I respect that, alixandra.
420
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:32,140
Thank you.
421
00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:33,250
What should I do?
422
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:36,140
I think you have to
tell him the truth
423
00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:39,040
before he gets crazy
about this money thing.
424
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,130
♪ They say the best
things in life are free ♪
425
00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:42,280
Woom.
426
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:44,230
♪ But you can save it
for the birds and bees ♪
427
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,130
♪ just give me money ♪
428
00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:47,260
♪ that's what I want ♪
429
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,020
♪ mo-o-o-ney ♪
430
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:50,210
♪ that's what I want ♪
431
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,110
♪ want want want want ♪♪♪
432
00:17:01,290 --> 00:17:02,290
Hello.
433
00:17:04,030 --> 00:17:04,150
Nice day, ain't it?
434
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,220
Hey, Emmett.
435
00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:08,080
Vinnie, have you seen
those spagler kids?
436
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:11,080
What do you want them for?
437
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,230
Their idea of fun...
438
00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:15,070
Handcuffing me
and hiding the key.
439
00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:18,270
I have a spare key
taped inside my thigh.
440
00:17:19,010 --> 00:17:21,000
Can you help me?
441
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,070
Yeah. I'll go call a locksmith.
442
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,250
Hurry.
443
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:26,270
Vinnie, I told you
to fire two of
444
00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:28,050
these waitresses.
445
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,190
I can't, alixandra.
They're human beings.
446
00:17:30,230 --> 00:17:33,090
They got feelings, emotions...
447
00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:35,230
It'll come out of your salary.
448
00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:37,120
The babes are history.
449
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,010
Hi, girls.
450
00:17:41,050 --> 00:17:42,150
Hi, Vinnie. Hi, Vinnie.
451
00:17:42,190 --> 00:17:45,160
Listen, uh, this
isn't easy for me.
452
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,010
You know, Vinnie,
you're so sweet.
453
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:51,030
Our friends were
wondering if you have
454
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,230
any more openings.
455
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,140
Gee, I don't think
I earn enough.
456
00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:01,090
Ohh...
457
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:02,260
I'll get two jobs.
458
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,040
Yeah!
459
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,070
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
460
00:18:06,110 --> 00:18:10,010
♪ he's going to make us
all richer-r-r-r ♪
461
00:18:10,050 --> 00:18:12,160
♪ which nobody can deny ♪♪♪
462
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,220
Charlie!
463
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,220
Charlie!
464
00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:17,230
Charlie!
465
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:18,230
Pop. Pop.
466
00:18:18,270 --> 00:18:20,050
I really got to talk...
467
00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:22,200
Yeah, yeah.
Not right now, Vinnie.
468
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,130
Yo, alix.
469
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:27,230
Ouch.
470
00:18:27,270 --> 00:18:30,020
Verducci, you snap
again like that,
471
00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:31,210
you lose your snapper.
472
00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:34,040
I love that kind of talk.
473
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,120
Hey, look,
474
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,060
your position comes up
for review soon.
475
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:40,290
Now that I'm in tight
with the committee,
476
00:18:41,030 --> 00:18:42,290
maybe I can help you.
477
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:45,110
You know, I'll scratch your back
478
00:18:45,150 --> 00:18:48,250
if you leave a few
scratches on my back.
479
00:18:48,290 --> 00:18:51,010
Oh, good, and I know just
480
00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:53,090
the garden tool to use.
481
00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,180
You've got five seconds to
482
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:58,200
tell him about his money.
483
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,060
It'll make him miserable.
484
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:01,130
I know.
485
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,070
Pop?
486
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:07,220
I never invested the $10,000.
487
00:19:07,260 --> 00:19:10,230
I gave it back
to the loan shark.
488
00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:13,030
I take complete responsibility.
489
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,100
You what?
490
00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:16,120
Actually, I took
alixandra's advice.
491
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:20,230
Oh, hey, son,
don't worry about it.
492
00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:23,170
I still got a piece
of everybody's profits.
493
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:25,030
We're set for life.
494
00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:27,020
Hey, there's a special report
495
00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:28,290
on the pan-newco corporation.
496
00:19:29,030 --> 00:19:30,150
Maybe the stock split.
497
00:19:30,190 --> 00:19:32,030
Ba-boom!
498
00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:34,180
In our relentless pursuit
499
00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:36,120
to protect the small investor,
500
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,080
we uncovered
an interesting story
501
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,030
on pan-newco corporation,
502
00:19:40,070 --> 00:19:43,040
a stock that's reaching
new highs every day
503
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,040
despite the fact earnings
are marginally off.
504
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:49,130
I went undercover at
rolling hills country club
505
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:52,070
to investigate rumors
of stock manipulations
506
00:19:52,110 --> 00:19:54,110
emanating from the club.
507
00:19:58,060 --> 00:19:59,060
This on?
508
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,220
Hey, buddy.
509
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:05,110
Hey, pop, that's you!
510
00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:07,210
You look like the kind of guy
511
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:08,270
I can trust.
512
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,180
Pan-newco corporation's
513
00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:14,070
about to be taken over.
514
00:20:14,110 --> 00:20:16,060
Psst. Come here.
515
00:20:18,290 --> 00:20:21,230
It's going to
cost you, this tip.
516
00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:23,110
Stick with Charlie verducci,
517
00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:25,030
you'll be able to afford
518
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:26,080
a decent rug.
519
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:28,170
But just remember, pal...
520
00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:31,230
So, another despicable spectacle
521
00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:33,280
of insider trading.
522
00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:36,060
I got news for you
cartoon capitalists
523
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,010
at rolling hills country club.
524
00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:40,250
The s.E.C. Has suspended
trading in the stock.
525
00:20:40,290 --> 00:20:43,200
As of now, it's worthless.
526
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,200
Where are those
damned verduccis?
527
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,290
I'm through!
528
00:20:47,030 --> 00:20:49,000
Wait till I find them!
529
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,100
How could I be so stupid?
530
00:20:51,140 --> 00:20:52,210
Pop, don't feel bad.
531
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:56,210
You've been that stupid
a million times before.
532
00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:59,090
Every time I get
close to something,
533
00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:00,110
it goes bad.
534
00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:02,060
I'm through letting the world
535
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:03,120
spit in my face.
536
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,280
Don't say that, pop.
537
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:06,150
If there's any saliva left
538
00:21:06,190 --> 00:21:07,180
on this planet,
539
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:10,030
it'll zero in on your kisser.
540
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:12,120
That's what I love about you.
541
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,130
When you hit rock bottom,
542
00:21:14,170 --> 00:21:17,130
you pick yourself up,
dust yourself off,
543
00:21:17,170 --> 00:21:20,020
and you hit rock bottom again.
544
00:21:22,110 --> 00:21:23,070
Thanks, son.
545
00:21:23,110 --> 00:21:25,170
That means a lot to me.
546
00:21:25,210 --> 00:21:27,070
I love you, pop.
547
00:21:27,110 --> 00:21:28,260
I love you, too.
548
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:31,080
Remember, pop...
549
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,070
Never give up our dreams.
550
00:21:33,110 --> 00:21:36,000
It's the one thing
us verduccis always got.
551
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,030
Right.
552
00:21:37,070 --> 00:21:39,170
We still got one problem, pop.
553
00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:40,200
What's that?
554
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,180
I still have to fire
some waitresses.
555
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:45,230
Now is not the right time.
556
00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:47,030
Waitresses,
557
00:21:47,070 --> 00:21:48,150
avanti.
558
00:21:51,150 --> 00:21:53,140
Captioning performed by
the national captioning
559
00:21:53,180 --> 00:21:54,100
institute, inc.
560
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:56,080
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
561
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:57,100
national captioning institute
562
00:21:57,140 --> 00:22:00,150
captions copyright 1991
elp communications
36602
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