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♪ If you're blue ♪
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00:00:04,220 --> 00:00:07,020
♪ and you don't know
where to go to ♪
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00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:09,070
♪ why don't you go ♪
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00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,060
♪ where fashion sits ♪
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00:00:12,270 --> 00:00:16,010
♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪
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♪ different types
who wear a big coat ♪
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♪ pants with stripes ♪
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♪ or cutaway coats ♪
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♪ perfect fit ♪
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00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:31,260
♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪
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♪ dressed up like
a million-dollar trouper ♪
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00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:48,120
♪ tryin' hard
to look like Gary Cooper ♪
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♪ any way you know ♪
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♪ come on, let's mix ♪
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00:00:51,180 --> 00:00:54,020
♪ where rockefellers
walk with sticks ♪
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♪ or umbrellas ♪
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00:00:56,210 --> 00:00:58,010
♪ in their mitts ♪
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♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪♪♪
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00:01:06,020 --> 00:01:08,280
Captioning made possible by
Columbia pictures television,
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00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:11,080
fox broadcasting company
and 1990 nci caption club/
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grantsmanship
22
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,220
ok...
23
00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:18,220
Every boxer should be able
to work the speed bag.
24
00:01:18,260 --> 00:01:21,230
The important thing here
is quickness, not power.
25
00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:24,050
Show me your stuff. Come on.
26
00:01:24,090 --> 00:01:25,200
Here. Come on.
27
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:26,240
Work it.
28
00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:29,290
Go ahead.
29
00:01:30,030 --> 00:01:31,180
Hit the bag.
30
00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:34,030
There you go.
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00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,250
Nice jabbing, my little
32
00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:41,230
Muhammad Ali cat.
33
00:01:44,030 --> 00:01:45,080
Hey, Vinnie...
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00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:53,130
If you were a woman
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00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:54,270
and you saw me,
36
00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:56,160
what would you think?
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00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,000
I'd think I was your daughter.
38
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,000
And then I'd have to get
all new clothes...
39
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,000
What about my boxing trophies?
40
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,120
Could I keep them?
41
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,110
Vinnie, Vinnie...
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00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:11,150
You're drifting again.
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00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:14,150
See, I'm talking about
me and alixandra.
44
00:02:14,190 --> 00:02:16,210
So what do you think?
45
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:19,100
She's going to take
one look at you and...
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00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,180
Baboom! Baboom!
47
00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:24,100
Just for a little
baboom insurance,
48
00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:26,020
I bought her some flowers
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00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:27,090
and candy, too.
50
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:28,230
You know, pop,
51
00:02:28,270 --> 00:02:30,220
I really admire
your persistence,
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00:02:30,260 --> 00:02:33,200
the way you kee@ chasing
my boss alix
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after all the times she's said,
54
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,200
"back off,
not in this lifetime,"
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00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,200
and yeah, my personal favorite...
56
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,230
"I'd rather be gomer
pyle's love slave."
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00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,250
Maybe I should get
her real flowers.
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00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,280
Hi, Mona.
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00:02:51,020 --> 00:02:52,120
Hi, Vinnie.
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00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,170
I've put off my sex education
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00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:56,080
homework for a week.
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00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,080
You want to cram with me?
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00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,130
Mona, as you're well aware,
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00:03:00,170 --> 00:03:03,000
it's against the law
to contribute
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00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,230
to the deliciousness of a minor.
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00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:08,070
I wouldn't want you
to do anything
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00:03:08,110 --> 00:03:09,230
against the law...
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00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:11,100
Without me.
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00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:13,000
I got to go to work.
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00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,140
I'll pull the car... oh, pop,
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00:03:15,180 --> 00:03:17,000
3b's toilet overflowed
yesterday.
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00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,270
I forgot to tell you.
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00:03:19,010 --> 00:03:20,000
Thank god.
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00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,140
I thought Mrs. O'Miley
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00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:24,250
made herself cabbage
bean soup again.
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00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,070
See you out front.
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00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:27,140
So, Mona...
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00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:29,160
If you were a woman,
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00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,080
what would you find
most attractive
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00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,060
about me?
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00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:34,280
Your son.
82
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,280
[Whistling]
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00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:43,190
Freeze!
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00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,120
Vinnie, don't be messing wi me.
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00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,110
I got a hair trigger.
86
00:03:52,150 --> 00:03:53,110
Yeah...
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00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,230
But no gun.
88
00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:56,090
Well, I had one,
89
00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:59,110
but a deer got the drop
on me and took it.
90
00:04:08,050 --> 00:04:10,060
Hey, little lady, you got to be
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00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,050
on the list
92
00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:14,050
or show me something
to get in here.
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00:04:14,090 --> 00:04:16,180
Hold on to your eyes.
94
00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:22,140
Whoo! Oh, my stars and garters.
95
00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:24,140
Yeah, that'll do just fine.
96
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,190
Listen, sugar,
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00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:27,150
if you ever need anybody
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00:04:27,190 --> 00:04:30,140
to mistreat and make a fool of,
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00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:32,150
you ask for Emmet.
100
00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:34,150
You're cute, but it's hard
101
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:36,290
to go back to miniature golf
102
00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:39,210
when you've been
on the pro tour.
103
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:42,080
I love a mean woman.
104
00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:45,200
Hey, Kelly, what's shaking?
105
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,190
I mean, other than his eyes.
106
00:04:48,230 --> 00:04:50,280
Vinnie, let's blow
this popcorn stand.
107
00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:54,130
Take me to go see that
academy award-winning film,
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00:04:54,170 --> 00:04:56,130
you know, dances with wool.
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00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,130
I'm not into sheep films,
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00:04:58,170 --> 00:05:00,290
although I hear this one's done
111
00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:03,150
from the sheep's point of view.
112
00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:05,190
Anyway, I can't just leave here.
113
00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:07,180
Qu'est-ce que why?
114
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,150
Qu'est-ce que
'cause I'm working.
115
00:05:09,190 --> 00:05:11,090
There's a Madonna costume party
116
00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:11,290
tonight.
117
00:05:12,030 --> 00:05:13,090
Come back later.
118
00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:15,090
Madonna dresses like a tramp.
119
00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:17,150
I'd have nothing to wear.
120
00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:21,060
Besides, I want you
to go with me now.
121
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,240
Kelly, you're acting
like a primadollar.
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00:05:25,030 --> 00:05:25,290
Fine.
123
00:05:26,030 --> 00:05:28,120
I need a ride.
124
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,180
Who has the best car?
125
00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:34,260
I'd go with you,
darling, but Emmet
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00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,130
lefebvre flies solo.
127
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:39,130
Well, I'll be riding
in a Mercedes,
128
00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:42,030
but I'll be dreaming about you.
129
00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:46,160
Now, that should
take care of a few sins.
130
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,230
Hey, pop, having fun?
131
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:50,040
Yeah.
132
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,290
There's nothing I like better
133
00:05:52,030 --> 00:05:53,080
than miming pool.
134
00:06:01,140 --> 00:06:02,140
Hi. Hi.
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00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:07,150
I thought I was lucky
136
00:06:07,190 --> 00:06:10,110
just to have a roof
over my head.
137
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:13,180
Have you ever seen anything
138
00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:14,220
so beautiful?
139
00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:21,000
Hey, Vinnie...
140
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,000
Vinnie.
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00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,010
What?
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00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,140
Go hurry up and find alixandra.
143
00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:27,000
I got dinner reservations,
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00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,000
and the early bird
special's over at 3:00.
145
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,150
A woman doesn't
like an invitation
146
00:06:32,190 --> 00:06:34,100
that starts off with, "I got
147
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:35,150
this coupon..."
148
00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:38,000
Yeah, that's what
a woman wants...
149
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,030
Prime rib dinner
30 minutes after lunch.
150
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,150
Emmet, I don't mind
a shot from you
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00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:47,000
below the belt,
152
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,280
'cause that's as high
as you can reach.
153
00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,280
That was a pickle.
154
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,130
Warren, you're hilarious.
155
00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:56,210
It's nice that you're
a member of the club.
156
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,070
You are such a sweet lady.
157
00:06:59,110 --> 00:07:00,230
Hey, little man...
158
00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:03,100
Who's the bozo
hitting on alixandra?
159
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:04,280
Usually it's you.
160
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,090
But his name is Warren pardo.
161
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,000
No competition.
162
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,290
He doesn't compare to me.
163
00:07:14,030 --> 00:07:16,000
He owns his own jet.
164
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,000
He owns his own island.
165
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,000
He drives
a $250,000 lamborghini.
166
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,030
Your turn, stretch.
167
00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:27,180
Yeah, but can he
belch on command?
168
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,290
As impressive as that is,
169
00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:33,150
I can do other things.
170
00:07:33,190 --> 00:07:34,250
Ladies...
171
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:40,030
Permit me
to entertain you two...
172
00:07:41,180 --> 00:07:43,030
With my stick.
173
00:07:57,020 --> 00:07:58,280
Uncle Warren, you should see
174
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,210
how great this guy is.
175
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:04,110
He's not the only one
who should know that.
176
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,160
Hey, Vinnie,
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00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,200
I haven't introduced my nieces.
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00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,200
Ramona...
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00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,200
And Sherry.
180
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,020
Hi, Vinnie. Hi, Vinnie.
181
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:13,170
Why, no, I'm not dating anybody.
182
00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:15,200
Why do you ask?
183
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,000
Why don't you show me around?
184
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,000
I'd love to see the gym.
185
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,140
I'd love to show it to you.
186
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:24,130
Are you in good shape?
187
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,230
Stupid question.
188
00:08:28,180 --> 00:08:30,030
Hey, come here.
189
00:08:31,050 --> 00:08:34,020
As of now,
you and I are through.
190
00:08:34,060 --> 00:08:36,240
Through? We never started.
191
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:40,100
Hey, don't expect me
to sink to your level.
192
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:42,200
Any mature adult
could tell what's
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00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,250
going on here.
194
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,000
Oh, yeah?
195
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,090
Yeah.
196
00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:48,130
♪ Warren and alixandra
sitting in a tree ♪
197
00:08:48,170 --> 00:08:51,090
♪ k-i-s-s-i-n-g ♪♪♪
198
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:53,180
Sorry, I haven't
had the pleasure.
199
00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:56,180
It's really not that much
of a pleasure.
200
00:08:56,220 --> 00:09:00,090
Charles "one man,
one woman" verducci.
201
00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:01,180
Excuse me?
202
00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:04,150
Warren "important
new member" pardo.
203
00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:09,000
This isn't your first time
around a pool table.
204
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,160
Can I interest you in
a little game of chance?
205
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,100
That could be fun.
206
00:09:14,140 --> 00:09:15,150
Ok.
207
00:09:15,190 --> 00:09:18,150
But why must it be
a little game?
208
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:20,000
Would you excuse us?
209
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,000
Oh, sure.
210
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,150
What are you doing?
211
00:09:22,190 --> 00:09:25,170
I am going to teach
your uncle a lesson.
212
00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:27,290
Then you'll know the better man.
213
00:09:28,030 --> 00:09:30,240
There's a three-year
waiting list to
214
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,150
get into this club.
215
00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:34,160
Warren applied
and within 48 hours
216
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,150
was admitted.
217
00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:38,000
I think that's a powerful man.
218
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,210
You are not in his league.
219
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:42,260
Charlie verducci is in a league
220
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,040
all by himself.
221
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,010
Only because no one else
222
00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:47,230
will bowl with you.
223
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:53,140
So, Mr. Manicure...
224
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:56,140
How about a game of nine-ball
225
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,290
for a mere $100?
226
00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,160
Rack 'em up, Sherry.
227
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,160
I'm not sure
I'm doing this right.
228
00:10:03,210 --> 00:10:07,040
You can keep trying
as long as you want.
229
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,170
Now, let's see if I remember
230
00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:11,030
how to do this.
231
00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:18,050
I know we just met,
232
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:20,000
and I don't consider myself
233
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,000
a John Juan,
234
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,000
but I think you're, uh, nice,
235
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,290
and I was wondering
if you'd go with me
236
00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:28,000
to the Madonna party tonight?
237
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,290
I can't tell you what
a pleasure it would be.
238
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,180
Go ahead, try.
239
00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:34,150
Hey, now!
240
00:10:34,190 --> 00:10:36,030
Come back here, gidget!
241
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,150
Why'd you run out on me?
242
00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:40,290
Run out on you?
243
00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:42,140
I was going to work.
244
00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:46,030
Emmet, why'd you
let her in here?
245
00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:48,270
She threatened
to put gum in my hair.
246
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,200
I just conditioned it.
247
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,190
You could have ruined my coif,
248
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:53,230
little missy.
249
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:56,280
I'm waiting for an explanation.
250
00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:58,120
Ok, here's an explanation.
251
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,190
You're 16 years old...
252
00:11:00,230 --> 00:11:01,290
And she's not.
253
00:11:02,030 --> 00:11:04,250
I don't want
an explanation from you.
254
00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:06,150
I want it from her.
255
00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:07,230
What's he like?
256
00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:10,290
Is he as wonderful
as I dared to dream?
257
00:11:11,030 --> 00:11:13,060
So far, we walked
to the barstool
258
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,080
and sat down.
259
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,230
He walked with you?
260
00:11:15,270 --> 00:11:17,070
He talked with you?
261
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,220
He sat with you?
262
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:20,150
You're so lucky.
263
00:11:20,190 --> 00:11:23,000
Don't listen.
Just ignore her, Ramona.
264
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,260
She says she loves me,
but it's just inflatuation.
265
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,290
She's so sweet,
she has a crush on you.
266
00:11:31,030 --> 00:11:32,290
Are you coming to the party?
267
00:11:33,030 --> 00:11:34,100
I wasn't invited.
268
00:11:34,140 --> 00:11:36,260
I'm inviting you.
Let's talk about it.
269
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,110
Sure, but not here.
270
00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:40,230
Let's go talk in private.
271
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,270
What are they playing for now?
272
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,270
100? 200?
273
00:11:53,010 --> 00:11:56,010
This shot is for $10,000.
274
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,140
Well...
275
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,290
Guess I scratched.
276
00:12:04,030 --> 00:12:07,190
Looks like I owe you $10,000.
277
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:10,290
$10,000? You know
how much that is?
278
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:14,070
I'd give a million for $10,000.
279
00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:18,040
If you marry rich,
let me handle the books.
280
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,000
Pop, I've known you
almost my whole life,
281
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,090
and I've never seen you
miss an easy shot
282
00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:25,150
like that...
283
00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:28,210
Unless you were trying
to hustle somebody.
284
00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:31,080
What, did you
forget your megaphone?
285
00:12:32,090 --> 00:12:35,060
Why don't you go Bob for nieces?
286
00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:43,000
Uh, Charlie...
287
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:46,000
You owe one
of our members $10,000,
288
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,010
which you cannot possibly pay.
289
00:12:48,050 --> 00:12:50,170
I ain't doing this
for the money.
290
00:12:50,210 --> 00:12:52,030
It's to impress you.
291
00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:55,130
Some women can't see
the forest for the trees.
292
00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:59,110
No, but I know
a sap when I see one.
293
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:04,000
Ooh.
294
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,000
You are hot, Warren.
295
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,030
Hey, are you trying to
296
00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:09,080
hustle me?
297
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,220
I feel bad, you losing
298
00:13:10,270 --> 00:13:11,290
all this money.
299
00:13:12,030 --> 00:13:14,050
I'd like to give you
a chance to go
300
00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:15,150
double or nothing,
301
00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:18,040
but you might lose more money.
302
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,250
Hey, 20 grand is the same as
303
00:13:20,290 --> 00:13:22,150
20 bucks to me.
304
00:13:22,190 --> 00:13:25,030
Yeah, we ain't got either one.
305
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,160
You excuse us one moment?
306
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,200
Sure.
307
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,110
It's nice that
someone like Warren
308
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,090
spends time with his nieces.
309
00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:42,110
I bet he's got nice apartments
310
00:13:42,150 --> 00:13:44,010
and jewelry for them.
311
00:13:44,050 --> 00:13:46,010
You know what they say...
312
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,270
It's better to give
than to conceive.
313
00:13:49,010 --> 00:13:50,240
Never.
314
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,110
Godfather, I need your help.
315
00:14:01,030 --> 00:14:02,140
What did he say?
316
00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:05,180
He said, "godfather,
I need your help."
317
00:14:15,190 --> 00:14:17,290
You really think
he's the godfather?
318
00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:20,020
When did you last kneel and kiss
319
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,170
your dentist's hand?
320
00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:25,070
I got it!
321
00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:27,120
Just pay him the 10 grand,
322
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,030
and we'll be fine.
323
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,170
Ok. Should I sell the Picasso
324
00:14:31,210 --> 00:14:34,010
or maybe just dump the yacht?
325
00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:37,000
Oh, no, pop, don't
sell the yacht.
326
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,220
I love yachts.
327
00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:40,220
My little ship of fools,
328
00:14:40,260 --> 00:14:42,200
don't you understand? This...
329
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,070
Now, where were we?
330
00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:47,040
He and I were just
discussing the fact
331
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,200
that it was such a crime
332
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,200
that dances with wolves
won the academy award
333
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,200
when godfather III
was a far superior film.
334
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,040
Yeah, far superior.
335
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,040
Much better.
336
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,190
Better popcorn, too.
337
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:02,070
Ah, I know where we were.
338
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,090
We were playing
double or nothing
339
00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:05,070
for $10,000.
340
00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:07,020
It's your break, Charlie.
341
00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:08,060
Sherry...
342
00:15:13,210 --> 00:15:15,210
If I die, I want to come back
343
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:16,250
as her baby.
344
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:24,070
Ok, pop, don't
worry about a thing.
345
00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:26,070
You going to beat this guy,
346
00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:29,060
and we're going to
walk out scotch free.
347
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,250
Pop...
348
00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:35,230
Did I ever tell you
that I love you?
349
00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:40,040
It's going to be hard
to make this shot
350
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,050
with you draped over me.
351
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:46,240
I wouldn't want to get
in the way of a bullet.
352
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,070
Could you excuse us
for a minute?
353
00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:07,280
We have to go... I mean, we'll be
354
00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:09,200
right... but don't...
355
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,040
You see, because we...
356
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,210
We'll be right back.
357
00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:15,100
Did I tell you I'm Italian?
358
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,100
I wasn't done yet.
359
00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:28,060
I'm dead.
360
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,220
Charlie verducci's dead.
361
00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:32,070
I haven't even made my will.
362
00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:34,050
I have nothing to leave you.
363
00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:36,010
Pop, you're scaring me.
364
00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:38,100
I'm scaring you?
I'm spelling help
365
00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:39,180
in my underwear.
366
00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:41,040
I got it!
367
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,190
We need a miracle!
368
00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:44,010
Maybe Moses will show up,
369
00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:45,050
part the urinals,
370
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:47,050
and we'll walk to freedom.
371
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,230
[Knock on door]
372
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,230
Moses, is that you?
373
00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:54,050
Oh...
374
00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:55,200
Verducci...
375
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,050
You broke a vase.
376
00:16:57,090 --> 00:16:58,210
You broke a plate.
377
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:01,040
In the aquarium,
there's a blowfish
378
00:17:01,090 --> 00:17:02,290
mating with a cue ball.
379
00:17:03,030 --> 00:17:06,000
I never saw that
on Jacques cousteau.
380
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,260
This wouldn't have happened
381
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,260
if you didn't get me jealous
382
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,110
with your godfather boyfriend.
383
00:17:11,150 --> 00:17:14,110
He's not my boyfriend.
He's... the what?
384
00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:17,100
What makes you think
he's the godfather?
385
00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:20,070
This guy kissed
his hand and said,
386
00:17:20,110 --> 00:17:22,060
"godfather, I need your help."
387
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,220
For proof, I'll ask Jimmy hoffa
388
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:27,160
when I join him in half an hour.
389
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,000
That should be interesting,
390
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,010
'cause most people
thought he was murdered.
391
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:35,030
That explains why Warren
got into this club
392
00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:36,050
in 48 hours.
393
00:17:36,090 --> 00:17:38,030
No one's going to strong-arm
394
00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:39,190
any friend of mine.
395
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:41,210
I'll get him voted out.
396
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,040
Sounds fair. I take
397
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,050
a dirt nap,
398
00:17:44,090 --> 00:17:46,070
but he can't go to the spring
399
00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:47,110
cotillion.
400
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:52,070
Uh, it seems
there's been a grave
401
00:17:52,110 --> 00:17:53,150
misunderstanding.
402
00:17:55,130 --> 00:17:56,240
Did I say grave?
403
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,240
No. I distinctly heard grape.
404
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,090
Yes. I said grape.
405
00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:02,200
He didn't say hit or cement
406
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,200
or "hang from a meat hook."
407
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,050
It's against club policy
408
00:18:06,090 --> 00:18:07,000
to gamble.
409
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:08,260
When we say, "I'll play you
410
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:09,290
for $10,000,"
411
00:18:10,030 --> 00:18:10,260
it's symbolically
412
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:11,140
$10,000.
413
00:18:11,180 --> 00:18:12,140
Yes!
414
00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:13,220
It's symbolic.
415
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,190
Like a flag is a symbol.
It's nothing.
416
00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:17,200
A symbol...
417
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,200
Verducci.
418
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,200
Verducci!
419
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,270
You owe me $10,000.
420
00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:24,030
You can get that
from your bank, right?
421
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:27,160
Yeah, if he wears
a mask and a gun.
422
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,040
No problem. How many zeros
423
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,050
in that?
424
00:18:31,090 --> 00:18:32,200
Pop, are you crazy?
425
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,180
There's a $5.00 service charge
426
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:36,000
for bounced checks.
427
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:39,170
Oh, drat. We're out of luck.
428
00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:42,180
My pen's broken.
I'll get you on Tuesday.
429
00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:43,270
Verducci.
430
00:18:44,010 --> 00:18:47,110
I'm not leaving
until I get that check.
431
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:50,080
Oh, my god, he's
going for his gun!
432
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,240
All right. Take it
out nice and slow.
433
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,240
Hey, it's one of those gun pens.
434
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:02,010
I think it's a .357 bic.
435
00:19:02,050 --> 00:19:04,110
Oh, god, father, what are they
436
00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:05,180
doing to you?
437
00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:07,170
Hey, leave my father alone.
438
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:08,280
Wait a minute.
439
00:19:09,020 --> 00:19:10,080
He's your father father?
440
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:12,020
Of course.
441
00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:14,030
These are your nieces nieces?
442
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,040
Yes. Yes.
443
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,110
You're not the godfather?
444
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:18,070
No. I'm Warren pardo.
445
00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:20,010
Pardo pants.
446
00:19:20,050 --> 00:19:23,000
You can have your gun pen back.
447
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,260
Be careful. I think
it might be loaded.
448
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,040
I guess...
449
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,250
That means we're still
playing for $10,000.
450
00:19:30,290 --> 00:19:31,250
Yeah.
451
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:33,220
Excuse me, sir.
452
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,220
Way to go, pop!
453
00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:53,000
So, Warren...
454
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,220
I guess that's the last shot
455
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:57,130
to get me even.
456
00:19:57,170 --> 00:20:00,130
Want to put another
10,000 on it?
457
00:20:00,170 --> 00:20:02,040
It's deceptive. It's really
458
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,040
a tough shot.
459
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,150
Verducci, you've
been hustling me
460
00:20:05,190 --> 00:20:06,260
the entire time.
461
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,130
I don't have to watch this.
462
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:11,050
Suit yourself.
463
00:20:19,110 --> 00:20:22,070
Did I ever tell you
about the time
464
00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:25,030
Sean penn took a poke at me?
465
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:28,070
Vinnie, I got a couple
of Madonnas here.
466
00:20:28,110 --> 00:20:31,280
Hi, I'm Madonna
from material girl.
467
00:20:32,020 --> 00:20:34,140
And I'm Madonna
from blonde ambition.
468
00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:39,210
And I'm the happiest
guy in the world.
469
00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:41,070
Be careful, honey.
470
00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:43,140
You could poke
somebody's eye out
471
00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:44,250
with them things.
472
00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:49,070
You were awesome
when you still thought
473
00:20:49,110 --> 00:20:50,280
he was the godfather.
474
00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:53,140
Weren't you just
a little afraid?
475
00:20:53,180 --> 00:20:56,100
I thought I saw it in your eyes,
476
00:20:56,140 --> 00:20:57,240
but sweat blurred it out.
477
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,030
Son, that was the cold sweat
478
00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:01,140
of confidence.
479
00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:03,170
I guess fear's like algebra...
480
00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:06,150
Something us verduccis
just don't understand.
481
00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:22,290
Captioning performed by
the national captioning
482
00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:24,030
institute, inc.
483
00:21:47,290 --> 00:21:49,230
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
484
00:21:49,270 --> 00:21:50,250
national captioning institute
485
00:21:50,290 --> 00:21:53,280
captions copyright 1991
elp communications
31642
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