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♪ If you're blue ♪
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♪ and you don't know
where to go to ♪
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00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:09,120
♪ why don't you go ♪
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♪ where fashion sits ♪
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♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪
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♪ different types
who wear a big coat ♪
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♪ pants with stripes ♪
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♪ or cutaway coats ♪
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♪ perfect fit ♪
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♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪
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♪ dressed up like
a million-dollar trouper ♪
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♪ tryin' hard
to look like Gary Cooper ♪
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♪ any way you can do it ♪
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♪ come on, let's mix ♪
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00:00:51,180 --> 00:00:54,020
♪ where rockefellers
walk with sticks ♪
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♪ or umbrellas ♪
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♪ in their mitts ♪
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♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪♪♪
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Captioning made possible by
Columbia pictures television,
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00:01:08,010 --> 00:01:08,280
fox broadcasting company,
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00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:12,010
and 1991 nci caption club/
grantsmanship
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wish my pop would get
the boiler fixed.
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I'm freezing.
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You know, Vinnie,
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00:01:20,050 --> 00:01:23,190
eskimos keep warm
by rubbing their noses.
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Boy, those eskimos
don't know nothing.
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Ok, Vinnie, let's work on your
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vocabulary course.
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00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,150
Pop says I should
study vocabulary
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00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:36,100
to meet rich people,
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but why bother?
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00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:42,000
I use words in almost
every sentence I say.
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00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,110
Here's an interesting one...
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Sensuous.
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00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:46,150
Hmm.
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00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,230
It means sexy...
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00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:52,090
Lustful, erotic...
38
00:01:52,130 --> 00:01:53,280
Desirous.
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00:01:54,020 --> 00:01:56,140
It means Mona.
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00:01:56,180 --> 00:01:59,140
Vinnie, I want you
more than ever.
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00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:02,010
Don't you want me?
Don't you think
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00:02:02,050 --> 00:02:02,280
I'm sexy?
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00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,160
Mona, it ain't right. You're 16.
44
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:10,020
If I think you're sexy,
I could end up in jail.
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00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:13,140
Then some guys in there
might think I'm sexy.
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00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:14,180
Ugh! Ugh!
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00:02:16,050 --> 00:02:18,010
Quick, take off your clothes.
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Bless you, Mr. Verducci.
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00:02:21,050 --> 00:02:24,010
That's it, Mona.
Stop at the coat.
50
00:02:24,050 --> 00:02:27,050
Stay away... you know
where you'll end up.
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Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
52
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:32,040
What are you doing?
It's freezing.
53
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I know that, you know that,
54
00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:37,190
but the tenants don't,
so don't let on.
55
00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:46,150
Lupe, you're looking
younger than...
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00:02:46,190 --> 00:02:49,050
Than last week's
spaghetti sauce.
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00:02:49,090 --> 00:02:51,290
Verducci, you better fix
that boiler.
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00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:55,030
We've got a few
other complaints, too.
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Yeah! Yeah!
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00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,230
Thank you.
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00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:05,160
Is it me, or is lupe
looking foxy today?
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00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,000
Pop, she's a nice woman,
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00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,110
but how long has it been?
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00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:13,110
Put it this way...
Last night I dreamed
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00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:18,030
Mr. Fluffy was wearing
a black lace nightie.
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00:03:18,070 --> 00:03:20,000
Pop, didn't the building owner
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00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,260
give you money
to fix the boiler?
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00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,260
I used it for your
self-improvement course.
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00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,210
I got a plan to
take care of the cold.
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00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,290
It's called August.
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00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:34,290
I got a plan to take
care of our future.
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It's called
parking attendant job.
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00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,110
My interview's today.
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00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:41,100
Ooh, Vinnie, I can
just see you now
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00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:43,110
wearing that short red jacket
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00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:45,290
and a tight pair of speedos.
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00:03:47,070 --> 00:03:49,140
Hey, parking attendants
don't wear speedos.
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00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:52,170
You would if you were
parking with me.
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00:03:54,170 --> 00:03:56,140
Mona, go home.
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00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:59,140
Vinnie, the verducci master plan
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00:03:59,180 --> 00:04:01,150
calls for you to marry rich,
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00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:03,020
not shuffle chevys.
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00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:04,210
If you're going to mingle
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00:04:04,250 --> 00:04:06,010
with rich people,
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00:04:06,050 --> 00:04:07,230
you got to smooth out
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00:04:07,270 --> 00:04:09,110
your rough edges.
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00:04:09,150 --> 00:04:12,080
I like his edges rough.
88
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:15,150
You better study...
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00:04:15,190 --> 00:04:17,160
And I don't mean Mona.
90
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,010
Now, excuse me.
91
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:22,110
I got angry tenants
waiting to talk to me.
92
00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:25,010
You know, I don't ignore them.
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00:04:25,050 --> 00:04:26,190
I avoid them.
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00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,110
Maybe being a parking attendant
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00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:32,110
isn't the world's greatest job,
96
00:04:32,150 --> 00:04:34,120
but my pop needs money,
97
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,110
and you know what they say...
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00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,060
"When the going gets tough,
99
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,150
"the tough have to be
or not to be.
100
00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:42,190
That is the question."
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00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:44,260
1, 2,
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00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:45,260
1, 2,
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00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,010
1, 2...
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00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:51,140
1, 2, 1, 2...
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00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:54,030
Let's go, girls!
Shake your cellulite!
106
00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:57,090
Carlo, I think
I'm getting a leg cramp.
107
00:04:59,140 --> 00:05:00,190
Hey, cutie.
108
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,230
How about a leg rub?
109
00:05:06,270 --> 00:05:11,120
Ok, but make it quick.
I got a job interview.
110
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,020
I meant my leg.
111
00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:15,090
Let's start with the calf and
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00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:17,000
see where it leads.
113
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,290
Wow! Hey! Ooh!
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00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,290
He's cute. Does that young man
115
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:23,250
work here?
116
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:26,250
Not yet, but he will
in five minutes.
117
00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:28,100
Oh. Excuse me.
118
00:05:28,140 --> 00:05:30,160
Ok, girls, disperse!
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00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,260
Time out!
120
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,050
Phoebe, your husband's
121
00:05:34,090 --> 00:05:35,170
on the way.
122
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,270
Hi. I'm the manager
of rolling hills
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00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:39,010
country club...
124
00:05:39,050 --> 00:05:41,240
Alixandra stone,
but call me alix.
125
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:44,200
Anyone who puts
their leg on my shoulder,
126
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,000
I'd prefer to call alixandra.
127
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,260
I'm Vinnie verducci,
here for the parking
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00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,010
attendant job.
129
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:53,140
There are millions
of parking attendants,
130
00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:55,140
but it's Carlo's last day.
131
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:58,130
I'm looking for someone
to fill his shoes.
132
00:05:58,170 --> 00:05:59,260
With what?
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00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:01,050
You.
134
00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:04,010
Those women really
liked you a lot.
135
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:06,010
Listen, I need an assistant,
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00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:08,020
someone really charming like you
137
00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:09,250
who can take the ladies
138
00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:11,010
off my hands.
139
00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:14,010
Dealing with rich people
makes me uncomfortable.
140
00:06:14,050 --> 00:06:18,040
I'm more at ease dealing
with the average John dope.
141
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,150
Why don't you just try the job
142
00:06:20,190 --> 00:06:22,000
for one evening?
143
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,160
Tonight we're having
a fifties party.
144
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,010
It's going to be fun.
145
00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:28,150
Say what they want to hear,
146
00:06:28,190 --> 00:06:31,010
and they'll do
anything you want.
147
00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:33,290
People see through that
in a second.
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00:06:34,030 --> 00:06:35,150
Oh, come on, Vinnie.
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00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:38,010
I'm sure that an intelligent,
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00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:39,130
articulate,
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00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:40,220
handsome,
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00:06:40,260 --> 00:06:43,260
sophisticated young
man like yourself
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00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,270
could handle one itsy-bitsy
154
00:06:46,010 --> 00:06:47,100
little day here.
155
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,140
Yeah. I guess I can.
156
00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:51,230
Sure. Ok, let's get started.
157
00:06:51,270 --> 00:06:53,020
Follow me.
158
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,030
Hey, did you trick me?
159
00:06:57,070 --> 00:06:58,190
No.
160
00:06:58,230 --> 00:07:00,190
Ok. Just checking.
161
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,250
Here you go.
162
00:07:05,290 --> 00:07:07,010
What's this?
163
00:07:07,050 --> 00:07:08,160
Your rolls.
164
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,180
You asked me to bring
your rolls around.
165
00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:16,010
No. A Rolls-Royce. A car.
166
00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:18,180
It's a good thing
you don't drive
167
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,160
a Jaguar.
168
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,000
I'll have them get it for you.
169
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,000
You drive careful, Mr. Clayton.
170
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,010
Hey, Mr. Fields.
Good day to you.
171
00:07:29,050 --> 00:07:32,040
Hi there, Mr. Takamaki.
New contacts?
172
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,040
Hey now!
173
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:38,250
B-b-b-behind the line.
174
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:39,260
Excuse me?
175
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,290
No. Excuse me, my friend.
176
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,000
Behind the line.
177
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,290
Where do you think
you're going, pally?
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00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:48,150
I'm here to see...
179
00:07:48,190 --> 00:07:51,100
Wait a minute.
I'll say who's here
180
00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:52,140
to see who.
181
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,290
What's your name?
182
00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:55,040
Charles verducci.
183
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,060
Spell it.
184
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,190
V-e-r-d-u-c-c-i.
185
00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:01,150
My son put me on the list.
186
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,060
What's his name?
187
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,060
Verducci.
188
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:05,100
Spell it.
189
00:08:06,190 --> 00:08:09,040
All right, head on in, stretch.
190
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:14,040
Remember, I'm here
to protect this place.
191
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,200
That's good to know.
192
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,250
I'll call you if we're attacked
193
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:18,290
by munchkins.
194
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,190
[Sniffs]
195
00:08:29,190 --> 00:08:31,040
I smell money.
196
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:53,200
Mr. Gilbert, how was
your wife's trip
197
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,190
to Bermuda?
198
00:08:54,230 --> 00:08:56,290
Awful. She came back.
199
00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:58,030
Oh.
200
00:09:06,050 --> 00:09:08,120
May I help you?
201
00:09:09,190 --> 00:09:12,010
Haven't we met before?
202
00:09:12,050 --> 00:09:15,010
Ah, I know. It was
in cannes, right?
203
00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:17,230
I was with Bobby de niro.
204
00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:20,280
No. I've never been to cannes,
205
00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:23,110
but could it have been that
206
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:25,010
cruise to Aruba?
207
00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:27,000
Yes! The cruise to Aruba!
208
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,240
I was with gopher.
209
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,200
Uh-huh.
210
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,210
Hey, we had some time,
didn't we?
211
00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:36,060
What am I saying?
212
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,160
I've never been on a cruise,
213
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:42,010
but I do think
I know who you are.
214
00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:43,050
Oh, really?
215
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,160
You're the kind of guy
216
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,190
I've always been attracted to.
217
00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:52,010
Oh, really?
218
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,020
You're the kind of guy
219
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:57,000
I always fall head over heels
220
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,160
in love with.
221
00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,200
Oh, really?
222
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,200
Really.
223
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,250
You know how long
it's been for me?
224
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:09,110
No, I don't,
225
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,250
but if you're counting on me,
226
00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:14,060
it's going to be a long time.
227
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:17,060
Listen, pal, you are
my worst nightmare.
228
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:20,050
You are every mistake
I have ever made.
229
00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:22,010
You light up my life
230
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:24,150
and burn it to the ground.
231
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,090
Do I know you?
232
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,260
No, but I know you.
I know you too well.
233
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,110
Oh, yeah? Prove it.
234
00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:35,160
You spend days at the track,
235
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,170
nights at the pool hall,
236
00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:39,280
and every other Tuesday
at the unemployment
237
00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:40,150
office.
238
00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:41,290
Lucky guess.
239
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,160
Wait a minute. You don't know
240
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,170
about that cat in the black lace
241
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:51,090
nightie, do you?
242
00:10:51,130 --> 00:10:54,090
No, but I'm not surprised.
243
00:10:54,130 --> 00:10:57,090
I tell you what... we just go out
244
00:10:57,130 --> 00:11:00,080
and have a nice,
quiet evening together.
245
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,260
No, really, no pressure,
246
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,100
just a little candlelight,
247
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:06,100
a little small talk,
and a little dinner.
248
00:11:06,140 --> 00:11:08,030
No pressure.
249
00:11:08,070 --> 00:11:09,190
No pressure.
250
00:11:09,230 --> 00:11:12,190
No pressure.
Cook whatever you want.
251
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,200
Cook?
252
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,220
Me?
253
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:21,010
Of course.
254
00:11:21,050 --> 00:11:23,080
You're the woman.
255
00:11:27,030 --> 00:11:28,140
Where are you going?
256
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:30,190
I'll bring the six-pack.
257
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,010
Must've gone with
some real jerks.
258
00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:36,080
Poor kid.
259
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,010
I know you're mad
I'm working here.
260
00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:41,110
If you want me to quit...
261
00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:44,090
Vinnie, it takes
a big man to admit
262
00:11:44,130 --> 00:11:45,260
when he's wrong.
263
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,220
Ok, I was wrong to take the job.
264
00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:50,020
I'm the big man.
265
00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:53,140
I was wrong to say
not to take it.
266
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:57,130
I've wanted you to work
in the lap of luxury,
267
00:11:57,170 --> 00:12:00,220
and you're right in the crotch.
268
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:03,080
I know you have
these plans for me
269
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:04,160
marrying rich,
270
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,000
but I don't fit in here.
271
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,140
I'm out of my ointment.
272
00:12:09,180 --> 00:12:13,010
Vinnie, you're in your
ointment, believe me.
273
00:12:13,050 --> 00:12:15,260
Besides, you're
a verducci, aren't you?
274
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:16,280
Yeah.
275
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:19,260
Isn't a verducci
as good as anybody
276
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,260
and as smart as anybody?
277
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,110
Yeah. You're right, pop.
278
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:26,080
I may not be an Alan Einstein,
279
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,090
but I can do it.
280
00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:29,140
Fire!
281
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,070
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
282
00:12:41,190 --> 00:12:44,000
That's it. I'm out of here.
283
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,160
Vinnie, come back!
284
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,290
It was just a little accident!
285
00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:51,220
Vinnie, you really
flooded their flambe!
286
00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:59,070
I'm just as happy not working at
287
00:12:59,110 --> 00:13:00,240
that country club.
288
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,190
I don't need rich people
289
00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:05,050
looking up their noses at me.
290
00:13:05,090 --> 00:13:07,210
I'm glad you quit, too, Vinnie.
291
00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:10,150
It was putting a strain
on our relationship.
292
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,250
I only worked four hours,
293
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:14,290
and, hey, hey, we don't have
294
00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:16,100
a relationship.
295
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:19,280
Well, I'm willing
to give it my all.
296
00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:25,100
Vinnie, Vinnie,
I'm disappointed in you.
297
00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:29,100
You finally get a good job,
and you walk out.
298
00:13:29,140 --> 00:13:32,100
Son, I've taught you
a sense of responsibility
299
00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:33,230
toward your work.
300
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:36,110
Where's our heat, you bum?
301
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:41,230
Lupe, you'll get your heat
when I'm damn ready!
302
00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:46,070
I don't know what
I ever saw in that woman.
303
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,230
Mona, excuse us.
304
00:13:47,270 --> 00:13:50,250
Vinnie and I have to have
a father/son chat.
305
00:13:50,290 --> 00:13:54,230
Oh, you haven't had
that talk yet.
306
00:13:54,270 --> 00:13:59,230
No wonder I'm having
such a hard time.
307
00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:01,130
Vinnie, take notes.
308
00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:04,280
I'll see you later.
309
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:09,240
Vinnie, Vinnie,
you have to go back
310
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,250
to that job.
311
00:14:10,290 --> 00:14:13,090
I can't, pop. They all laughed
312
00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,010
at me.
313
00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:16,280
So what? They all laughed
at Columbus, too.
314
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,110
Maybe that's why he's not
315
00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:19,170
working there now.
316
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:25,250
Vinnie, please... you can't quit.
317
00:14:25,290 --> 00:14:27,250
Not this particular job.
318
00:14:27,290 --> 00:14:30,120
There's this, uh...
319
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,250
This, uh, this woman.
320
00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:36,080
Alixandra, she's,
uh, very special.
321
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,250
I didn't know you could still
322
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,070
get the hots.
323
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:44,090
What? I get just
as hot as you get.
324
00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:47,000
Just takes me a little longer
325
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,070
to heat up,
326
00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:49,280
but when I do...
327
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,110
Ba-boom! Ba-boom!
328
00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:55,080
See, the point is, son,
329
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,230
this woman's got me
feeling things
330
00:14:57,270 --> 00:15:00,230
I ain't felt in a long time.
331
00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:03,250
My heart is racing,
my palms are sweaty.
332
00:15:03,290 --> 00:15:06,000
I got butterflies in my stomach.
333
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,060
Are you getting
a burning sensation
334
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,140
when you urinate?
335
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,000
I was watching Dr. Art ulene...
336
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:15,190
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
337
00:15:15,230 --> 00:15:20,090
Vinnie, I'm pouring
my heart out here.
338
00:15:20,130 --> 00:15:23,270
Why are we talking
bodily fluids?
339
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,100
Ok, pop. I'm sorry, ok?
340
00:15:26,140 --> 00:15:27,260
Ok, let's say
341
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,010
this thing with
alixandra works out,
342
00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:30,250
all right?
343
00:15:30,290 --> 00:15:32,000
Ok.
344
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,080
There's no guarantee it'll last.
345
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,230
You could get hurt real bad.
346
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:39,230
Would it be worth all that pain
347
00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:42,260
for a few months of great sex?
348
00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:47,260
Off to work I go.
349
00:15:49,110 --> 00:15:50,210
Ba-boom! Ba-boom!
350
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,270
Hey, hey, it's water boy.
351
00:16:01,010 --> 00:16:02,280
Whoa, hey, smokey the bear.
352
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:05,000
I'm putting out my cigarette.
353
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,150
I guess I looked pretty stupid
354
00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:09,000
throwing that water around.
355
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,070
No, no.
356
00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:11,140
See you.
357
00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:14,140
Not as stupid as you guys look
358
00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:17,060
with those 49 cent Elvis wigs.
359
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,070
Hey, I'm glad you're back.
360
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:22,070
Wow. It must have
taken you hours
361
00:16:22,110 --> 00:16:24,270
to put that
fifties outfit together.
362
00:16:25,010 --> 00:16:26,230
Oh, yeah, hours.
363
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:28,090
Excuse me, miss stone.
364
00:16:28,130 --> 00:16:31,090
Pardon me for interrupting.
I hate interrupting.
365
00:16:31,130 --> 00:16:33,070
There's nothing ruder
than interrupting...
366
00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:35,010
Emmett, what is it?
367
00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:37,120
I was not finished.
368
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,240
Would you like to go back
369
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,100
to supervising day care?
370
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:43,250
No, please,
not those terrible tykes.
371
00:16:43,290 --> 00:16:46,090
There's somebody here
to see Vinnie.
372
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:49,150
Says he's a pro golfer
friend of his.
373
00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:51,150
I'll take care of it.
374
00:16:51,190 --> 00:16:53,090
You know, these really are
375
00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:54,210
Elvis' sideburns.
376
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:56,050
Really?
377
00:16:56,090 --> 00:16:57,160
Yeah, a friend of mine
378
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,280
knew Elvis' barber.
379
00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:01,150
He swept them up after Elvis got
380
00:17:01,190 --> 00:17:02,150
a haircut.
381
00:17:02,190 --> 00:17:04,010
I had them painstakingly
382
00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,000
reassembled.
383
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,060
No.
384
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,050
Like to see the king's armpits?
385
00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:10,010
No, thank you. No.
386
00:17:11,150 --> 00:17:12,270
At ease, little mister.
387
00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:14,270
Don't try no funny business,
388
00:17:15,010 --> 00:17:16,270
or I'll shine my flashlight
389
00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:18,150
right in your eyes.
390
00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:24,290
Bud.
391
00:17:25,030 --> 00:17:28,130
Shh! It's not bud, it's Arnold.
392
00:17:28,170 --> 00:17:30,100
Arnold Bundy.
393
00:17:30,140 --> 00:17:32,090
As far as Lynette's concerned,
394
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:34,170
I'm the top moneymaker on tour.
395
00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:36,140
Come on. You think anybody's
396
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,160
stupid enough
397
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,010
to believe that?
398
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,160
Hey, by the way,
399
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,200
what's Jack nicklaus
really like?
400
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:46,190
No wonder my sister
likes you so much.
401
00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:49,190
When she told me
you worked down here,
402
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:51,170
I decided I'd bring Lynette
403
00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:53,020
and play a round.
404
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:55,190
But it's too dark for golf.
405
00:17:55,230 --> 00:17:59,070
I know. I just
want to play around.
406
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:01,180
Come, Lynette.
407
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,030
Let me show you my putter.
408
00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:09,240
Now remember...
Keep your head down
409
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,130
and your eye on the ball.
410
00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:18,070
Come on, Fred.
411
00:18:18,110 --> 00:18:21,080
Get in a fifties mood.
Let's dance.
412
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:23,230
Listen, we met in the fifties,
413
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,230
we danced in the fifties,
414
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:28,260
now I'm in my fifties.
I'm done dancing.
415
00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:33,110
We have to do something
to get their attention.
416
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:36,240
I'm over the limit on my
mastercard. Any ideas?
417
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:40,260
Vinnie, how's my attire?
418
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,030
Pop, you don't got a tire.
419
00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:46,020
Your butt's sagging a little,
420
00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:48,020
but you got no tire.
421
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,260
Excuse me.
422
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,160
Vincent, this dance
is ladies' choice.
423
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,200
Is Mr. Epstein cool?
424
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,150
He's frozen.
425
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:01,290
[Great balls of fire plays]
426
00:20:22,060 --> 00:20:25,200
I'm sorry I talked you
into this god-awful job.
427
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,280
That's ok. I forgive you.
428
00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:31,180
Amazing.
429
00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:32,230
Isn't it?
430
00:20:32,270 --> 00:20:33,280
Oh, hi.
431
00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:37,070
I hope you don't
take this the wrong way,
432
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:40,260
but, um, if good looks
were illegal,
433
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,110
you'd be in jail for life.
434
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:47,050
That didn't get to me
when I was 16.
435
00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:49,050
How could you still remember?
436
00:20:49,090 --> 00:20:53,080
It's got to be 10 years
since you were 16.
437
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,190
You're still coming, aren't you?
438
00:20:55,230 --> 00:20:57,050
It's a gift.
439
00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,040
I'm going to kill
that verducci kid.
440
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,080
He's not making me a fool.
441
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,190
Vinnie!
442
00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:05,040
Excuse me. Excuse me.
443
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,190
These guy are talking about you.
444
00:21:07,230 --> 00:21:10,030
Yeah? I'm getting
pretty popular here.
445
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:11,120
No, Vinnie...
446
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,180
Work, work.
447
00:21:12,220 --> 00:21:15,180
I say we get him, and now!
448
00:21:15,220 --> 00:21:17,010
Yeah, yeah.
449
00:21:17,050 --> 00:21:18,120
That's right!
450
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,090
Do you see the way
that punk is carrying on?
451
00:21:22,130 --> 00:21:24,250
I say we take care of him.
452
00:21:24,290 --> 00:21:27,250
Do we care he's
a professional boxer?
453
00:21:27,290 --> 00:21:29,040
No. No.
454
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,290
Do we care that
he's maimed so many men,
455
00:21:32,030 --> 00:21:33,280
he can't fight in Illinois?
456
00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:35,060
Uh... well...
457
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:38,030
So what if he called
Mike Tyson a sissy
458
00:21:38,070 --> 00:21:39,170
and got away with it.
459
00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:40,220
Ooh... huh...
460
00:21:40,260 --> 00:21:42,080
Now who's with me?
461
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:43,230
The game's back on.
462
00:21:43,270 --> 00:21:46,030
Oh, yeah. Good game here.
463
00:21:46,070 --> 00:21:47,250
Rich guys.
464
00:21:49,130 --> 00:21:51,120
[La bamba plays]
465
00:22:05,070 --> 00:22:07,090
Captioning performed by
the national captioning
466
00:22:07,130 --> 00:22:08,130
institute, inc.
467
00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:35,140
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
468
00:22:35,180 --> 00:22:36,150
national captioning institute
469
00:22:36,190 --> 00:22:39,180
captions copyright 1991
elp communications
30705
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