Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,392 --> 00:00:05,788
[upbeat rock music]
2
00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:07,746
All right, it's Saturday.
3
00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:10,967
I got a lot of nothing planned
for today so let's get to it!
4
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,056
A lot of nothing?
5
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,102
But look at all the fun stuff
on today's community calendar:
6
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:17,930
A car show,
a line-dancing contest...
7
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:19,236
a pie festival!
8
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,977
Ooh!
9
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,240
All perfect for our
father-son day, Jake.
10
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:25,721
Let's take a joyride
to a line-dancing contest
11
00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:28,767
and start a pie fight.
12
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,204
Or we can do something
13
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:33,033
that doesn't ruin
other people's good time.
14
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,469
You're taking a lot off
the table there.
15
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:37,559
[fly buzzing]
16
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:39,256
Great, a fly got in.
17
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,824
I guess this is my
entertainment for the day.
18
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,913
[grunts]
19
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:48,048
COLBY:
Amy, stop! It's me, Colby!
20
00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:51,399
I shape-shifted into a fly
21
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:53,401
and I've been stuck ever since.
22
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:55,838
So you're still gross
but now you have wings.
23
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,796
COLBY: Pretty much.
24
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,711
Wait, you're a fly now?
25
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,844
Then why have I been talking to
this oven mitt all morning?
26
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:04,847
We just thought
you were losing it.
27
00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:07,850
And I'm nice now,
28
00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:08,720
so I didn't want to
say anything.
29
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,507
Morning.
30
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,204
Hey, Mom, what are you
all dressed up for?
31
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,728
Well, I'm going to
the community job fair
32
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,034
at your school.
33
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,862
Mama's gonna join
the work force!
34
00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,516
Why do you want a job?
35
00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,083
I mean, I get the money part,
36
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,041
but don't they
make you work, too?
37
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,086
Everyone in the family
has found
38
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,044
a place in this new life
except me.
39
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,306
I mean, you all go to school,
40
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,613
your father's
a substitute teacher...
41
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,703
I used to be third in command
of all villains.
42
00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:37,662
And now I spend my day
building castles
43
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,664
out of tortilla chips.
44
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:43,103
[chuckles] Spoiler alert:
the drawbridge is my mouth.
45
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,542
Good for you getting a job.
46
00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:51,285
Bad for whoever you work for,
but good for you!
47
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:52,851
I'm glad you feel that way
48
00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:55,115
because you're both
coming with me.
49
00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:56,942
For moral support?
50
00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:59,119
No. To show me where
your silly little school is.
51
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:01,512
[fly buzzing]
52
00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,906
Is that a fly?
53
00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:06,126
-[electricity crackles]
-I'll get him!
54
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,084
Wait, Mom, no!
That's Colby!
55
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,089
[opening theme plays]
56
00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:25,449
[upbeat rock music]
57
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:26,624
[knocking on door]
58
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,329
Hello, Celia.
59
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,069
Mm-hmm.
60
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,681
And Robert, the police chief!
61
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,204
So nice to see you!
62
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,945
Since we are
law-abiding citizens.
63
00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,642
In fact, that's my favorite
thing to do with the law:
64
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,383
abide it.
65
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,080
Well, I need my paint supplies,
66
00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:51,301
so about you abide outta my way?
67
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,216
Wait. Why are your
paint supplies in here?
68
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,957
I don't want 'em at myhouse.
69
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,135
I need the space for my
medieval weapons collection.
70
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:04,184
You haven't lived till you've
seen her wield a Viking axe.
71
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,316
Well, I guess
I'd rather not live.
72
00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:09,319
The paint's for me.
73
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:10,973
I'm doing a little graffiti
cleanup downtown.
74
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,757
Oh, cool. Can I help?
75
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,324
I've been looking for ways
76
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:15,543
to get more involved
in the community.
77
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,066
Absolutely!
78
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,764
That's very admirable, son.
79
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:23,812
But I thought we were gonna
hang out today, actual son.
80
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:26,031
Its' okay, Dad. We can still
do something this afternoon.
81
00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:27,903
This afternoon, huh?
Deal.
82
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:29,426
I'll see you at 12:01 sharp.
83
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:34,823
Well, Robert, while you're out,
84
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:38,261
I'll be preparing for our
one-month anniversary tonight.
85
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:42,178
Ooh, that's what I call
a win-win.
86
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,920
-How about a little preview?
[laughs]
-Oh!
87
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,791
There are children in the room!
88
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,014
[laughs]
89
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:54,190
Well, it's about time!
90
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,583
You were supposed to
be back hours ago.
91
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,062
You kept me waiting so long,
92
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,455
I ate three of
your mom's chip castles.
93
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:02,198
Your son was a machine today!
94
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:06,028
He cleaned up every last shred
of graffiti in town.
95
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:09,597
Sorry for accidentally
erasing all those crosswalks.
96
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,686
That's okay. You gave me
a reason to write more
97
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:12,948
jay walking tickets.
98
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:17,213
Anyway, thanks again
for your help.
99
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,433
[Rob laughs]
100
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,960
Wow. That guy should
arrest himself
101
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,440
for overstaying his welcome.
102
00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:30,313
Anyway...
103
00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:33,229
check out the amazing
afternoon I planned for us.
104
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,232
[chuckles] Don't you think
I'm a little old to play
with toys?
105
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,626
Don't you think you'rea little
old to play with toys?
106
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:40,236
We're not playing with them.
107
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,890
We're using them to plan
a cell-tower heist.
108
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,413
Why would we do that?
109
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:44,414
The cell reception here
is terrible.
110
00:04:45,894 --> 00:04:46,895
But with your super strength,
111
00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:48,157
we can move the tower from
112
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,898
across town to our neighborhood.
113
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,856
This is the plan.
This one's me.
114
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,902
"Hey, Jake, lift up
that cell tower, would ya?"
115
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:55,904
"Sure thing, Dad!
You're the best!"
116
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:58,167
"Uh-oh, here comes
that dork Robert!"
117
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,474
[imitates police siren]
"You're not my real dad!"
118
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:01,736
[imitates crashing]
119
00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:06,088
Should I be worried about you?
120
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:09,787
Come on, Jake! You and I used to
do stuff like this all the time!
121
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:12,529
Remember when we chiseled
my face into Mount Rushmore?
122
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:15,184
Of course. Your nose fell off
and it started a rockslide.
123
00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,883
Dad, I told you I'm just
not into doing
124
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,320
villain stuff anymore.
125
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,974
Oh, okay,
I'll meet you halfway.
126
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,236
Why don't we just
hit golf balls
127
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,629
into the neighbors' chimneys.
128
00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:27,501
That's fun, innocent.
129
00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,677
Nobody gets hurt except
the occasional roofer.
130
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,461
[laughs] Ha!
131
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,768
Actually, I was hoping
we could postpone
132
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:34,943
our plan to hang out today
so I can go on
133
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,205
a ride-along with Robert.
134
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:38,599
A ride-along?! In a police car?
135
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:42,472
You know that's our family's
least favorite kind of car!
136
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,909
But if you'd rather do that
than hang out with me--
137
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:45,997
Thanks, Dad!
138
00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,350
[upbeat rock music]
139
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,311
Wow, Hartley.
This resumé you wrote
140
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,792
makes my mom's work history
sound amazing.
141
00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:01,317
I had no idea
you're a better liar on paper
than you are in person?
142
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,581
I didn't lie.
I "finessed" the words.
143
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,409
But let's just hope nobody
calls the references
144
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,933
because those are all fake.
145
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:11,501
Well, I don't know how you could
possibly "finesse"
146
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,677
that I was the number three
villain in the world,
147
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:16,158
specializing in electrocution.
148
00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,421
By saying you were
a senior executive
149
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,423
with expertise in
electrical engineering.
150
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,338
Oh! That's good!
151
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,820
That's like lying without lying.
152
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,299
Okay, now let's go get me a job!
153
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,737
[clears throat]
154
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,739
Uh, hi.
155
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:35,220
Hi, Donna Plank, founder of
FacciaGrande face cream.
156
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:36,744
And you are?
157
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,310
I'm Eva Madden.
158
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:41,401
This is my resumé!
[laughs]
159
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,753
Donna Plank doesn't do paper.
160
00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:48,886
I want you to tell me
why I should hire you.
161
00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:52,063
Uh...
162
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:55,284
Don't be nervous but
you're already tanking this.
163
00:06:55,327 --> 00:07:00,028
[chuckles] No.
[stammers]
164
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:02,770
[groans]
165
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,602
I think that was
a great first try.
166
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,778
[chuckles]
Are you finessing words again?
167
00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:11,909
What do you think?
168
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,480
Jake may not want to
hang out now
169
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:19,308
but wait till he sees me
having fun
170
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:21,353
with a clone of his old
villainous self!
171
00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:24,618
[sighs] Bad Jake is your boy!
172
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,228
Uh, don't get too excited.
173
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:29,405
You're basically
gonna live for a day.
174
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,973
But once he gets jealous
and comes back to me,
175
00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:35,019
I'll vaporize you
and everybody wins.
176
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:38,066
Oh. I don't wanna vaporize
the wrong one.
177
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:41,852
Here. Wear this pin
so I can tell you apart.
178
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:45,508
Wait, so you're telling me
I only exist
to be a tool of your spite?
179
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:48,903
No! You're a synthetic symbol
of my love for my son.
180
00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,470
But you're still only
gonna live for a day.
181
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:52,907
Works for me!
182
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:58,434
Hey! I spent hours on that!
183
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,697
We are gonna have so much fun!
184
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:07,008
♪♪
185
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:09,010
Okay, Jake should be here
any minute.
186
00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:11,665
Whatever you do, look like
you're having a blast!
187
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,449
I wasn't even alive
two hours ago.
188
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,755
Of course, I'm having a blast.
189
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,456
What is going on?
190
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,937
Oh, hi. I'm Bad Jake.
191
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,330
You must be... Lame Jake.
192
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:28,246
No, I'm regular Jake.
193
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:32,294
I mean, Normal Jake--
just Jake!
194
00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:34,035
Since you don't want to
hang out with me anymore,
195
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:36,428
you wouldn't mind if I made
a clone of you who does.
196
00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,561
You have to get rid of him.
197
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,781
What's the matter?
You jealous?
198
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:44,654
-[knocking on door]
-CELIA: Hello? Anybody home?
199
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,569
No, I'm worried
that our landlady
200
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:47,962
who comes over every ten minutes
201
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,441
might see that
there's two of me!
202
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,748
Good point. Bad Jake, go hide.
203
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:55,839
Sorry, old man.
I play by my own rules.
204
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:59,843
I'm sorry, but how can you
not love this guy?!
205
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,802
CELIA:
Time's up! I'm coming in!
206
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,283
[grunts]
207
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:08,025
Hello, Celia! Look at you.
208
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,985
Dating the police chief and
still making illegal entries.
209
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:13,683
Look at you.
Still thinking I care.
210
00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:17,731
I came to talk to Jake.
211
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,733
Since you've gotten
to know Robert,
212
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:22,126
I wanted to get your opinion
on the anniversary gift
213
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:24,912
I picked out for him.
214
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:27,697
Lame! Get him a flame thrower.
215
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:31,005
Good idea! I can get him one
that matches mine!
216
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:38,360
And that's why we can't keep
Bad Jake around.
217
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,144
Why? Because you're jealous?
218
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,452
No! Stop saying that.
219
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:45,323
And stop making fake people
to get back with your family.
220
00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:47,238
This is just like the time
you made a fake mom
221
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:49,806
'cause the real one
forgot your birthday!
222
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:53,070
She'll never make
that mistake again.
223
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,594
Whatever, I have to get ready
for the ride-along.
224
00:09:57,074 --> 00:10:00,251
All right, Bad Jake,
this is not working.
225
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,123
We have to up our game.
226
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:05,169
Time to hit some golf balls
into the neighbor's chimneys!
227
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:06,823
Yeah!
228
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:12,481
All right, I love you
but that's getting old.
229
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,575
-Mom, are you okay?
-I don't know what just
happened.
230
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,838
I have always been
fearless,
231
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,623
and she asked me why
she should hire me,
232
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,842
and I... froze.
233
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,670
That happens to me
at the fro-yo shop.
234
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,455
I walk in knowing what I want
but when they take my order,
235
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:33,197
I freeze up in a vortex of
vanilla, chocolate and swirl.
236
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,200
The struggle is real.
237
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:39,769
Maybe you were just feeling
pressured
238
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,075
because of the resumé scam.
239
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:42,598
Mm. Leave it to Hartley
240
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,078
to bring us all down
with her lies.
241
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,210
-What?
-I hate to say it,
242
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:48,125
but I think
Onyx passing me over
243
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:50,301
for that promotion has
really gotten into my head.
244
00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:53,696
I gave that job
20 years of my life.
245
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,437
And now,
I've lost my identity,
246
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,482
my confidence,
247
00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:59,659
my lifetime membership at
the villain fitness center.
248
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:03,097
Villains have a fitness center?
249
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:07,014
[chuckles] It's more of
a dungeon with a treadmill.
250
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:09,103
Mom, look, I know it didn't go
the way you planned
251
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,495
but did you really want a job
selling face cream
252
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,193
for Donna Plank?
253
00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:13,847
It's not about the job, love.
254
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,110
It's about proving to myself
that I can
255
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:19,417
feel just as important as
I used to in the villain world.
256
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,115
Well then, you're going back
to finish that interview.
257
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,464
-Oh.
-How?
258
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:24,292
She couldn't even
get a word out.
259
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,642
Well then, we'll just have
to get the words out for her.
260
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,949
[upbeat rock music]
261
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:31,168
-Ready, Colby?
-COLBY: This better be good.
262
00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:33,693
I was just about to cannonball
into someone's chowder.
263
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,739
Here's the plan.
264
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,959
Mom, you'll try interviewing
again but this time,
265
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:40,743
Colby will be listening
to questions.
266
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,527
Then he'll fly back
and feed them to Hartley.
267
00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:44,051
Then she'll tell me
how you should respond
268
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,444
and I'll use my vocal
manipulation to make you say it.
269
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,838
Brilliant! And so simple!
270
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,408
Wait, do you have the power
to make people
271
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:54,888
say whatever you want?
272
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:57,847
I sure do.
Whoa, that was creepy!
273
00:11:57,891 --> 00:11:59,719
Don't call it creepy.
Stop that!
274
00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:06,943
Hello! I'm back for my
follow-up interview.
275
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,685
Donna Plank doesn't do
second chances.
276
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,949
But since I am legally required
to conduct interviews
277
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:15,952
before I just give the job
to my niece...
278
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:19,042
Go ahead, tell me about
your sales experience.
279
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,348
Oh, uh...
280
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:22,393
[fly buzzing]
281
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:24,918
COLBY: She wants to know about
Mom's sales experience.
282
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,789
Well, she did help Onyx
sell stolen weapons
283
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,138
to a foreign dictator.
284
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,750
-What?
-Stop judging. Start finessing.
285
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,970
[Donna] Hello?
286
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:39,323
Okay, try this...
287
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:41,978
I have facilitated high-level
288
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:45,242
government purchases
of valuable assets.
289
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:46,983
Impressive.
290
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:49,986
Although you did take
a very long pause
291
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,335
before answering.
292
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,207
Yes.
293
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,599
[fly buzzing]
294
00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:56,863
This thing
is driving me crazy!
295
00:12:56,906 --> 00:13:00,214
-Hey. Don't hurt it!
-Don't hurt the fly?
296
00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,607
That's it! To sell FacciaGrande
297
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:05,001
you have to crush
the competition
298
00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:08,222
and you are so weak,
you can't even crush a fly!
299
00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:13,096
We're done. I am so glad
I didn't offer you water.
300
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,403
My mom never backs down
from a fight.
301
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,709
This is gonna get ugly.
302
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:18,972
Thank you for for your time.
303
00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,281
Okay, that is not my mom.
304
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:30,113
-Fore!
-MAN: Ouch!
305
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,941
Ooh...
306
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,682
Bad day for that kind
of lay out on the sundeck.
307
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:37,251
Hey, Jake, get out here
and see all the fun
308
00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:39,949
I'm having with your clone!
309
00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:41,690
Probably shouldn't be shouting
that. I'll go get him.
310
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:47,914
[bird squawking]
311
00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:50,786
Whoa, I almost got a birdie!
312
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,093
Oh, that's why
they call it that.
313
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:56,096
Hey, Jake.
314
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,315
Ready to go for a ride
in my squad car?
315
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:01,101
Oh, no. You're not getting me
in the back of one of those.
316
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,712
Don't be silly.
You're riding up front.
317
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:06,106
Wait, really?
318
00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:08,848
I'm in!
319
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,027
Come on, Jake!
How many people can say
320
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:15,550
they've caddied
for their own clone?
321
00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:19,206
[car departs]
322
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:22,644
Wait. Why is Robert's squad car
leaving without me?
323
00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:23,906
Well, he obviously hates you.
324
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,690
I tried to warn you
about that guy.
325
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:29,042
No, look!
326
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,782
Robert took Bad Jake
on the ride-along!
327
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,743
Well, on the bright side,
328
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:36,614
it looks like your afternoon
just opened up.
329
00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:39,487
[upbeat rock music]
330
00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:45,536
I told you Bad Jake
was a bad idea!
331
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:48,104
Now my evil clone is on
a ride-along
with the chief of police!
332
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:49,018
He's gonna figure out
we're villains!
333
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,890
Let's not panic yet.
334
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,630
I'm sure it'll be fine.
335
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:55,633
Whoo-hoo!
336
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,722
-Get in here!
-Fine.
337
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,726
Nice haircut, lady!
338
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:04,120
Do you and your labradoodle
use the same groomer?
339
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:07,341
Hey! That's rude.
340
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,908
Although that haircut
is a crime!
341
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,915
It's just one interview,
Mrs. Madden.
342
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,873
You'll get the next one.
343
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,310
Or the one after that.
Or the one after that.
344
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,877
-Hartley!
-What?
345
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:22,922
It's a numbers game!
346
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,490
I really thought
our plan would work.
347
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,928
It's not your fault.
[chuckles]
348
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:31,060
Maybe Donna Plank is right.
349
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:34,672
Maybe Onyx was right.
Maybe I am weak.
350
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,936
No! No way!
You are not weak!
351
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,720
You are the same
unstoppable woman
352
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:41,157
I grew up wanting to be like.
353
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:43,116
You just need to show that
clueless second rate
354
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,682
cream queen who you really are.
355
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:47,294
[chuckles]
356
00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:49,296
You're right.
357
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,428
I've been letting the Onyx's
of the world get me down.
358
00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,517
For what?
359
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:56,346
I mean, I know what
I'm capable of.
360
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:59,349
And I do appreciate you
standing up to him for me.
361
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:00,960
But somewhere along the way,
362
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,962
wow, I lost my voice.
363
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,662
It's time to start speaking
for myself again.
364
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:09,969
Okay. [chuckles]
365
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:12,797
Alright, Planky. Let's do this.
366
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,063
Ugh. You again.
367
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:19,326
Yeah, it's me again!
368
00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:21,893
Eva Madden.
That's right, I can say
my whole name, too!
369
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,506
You think I can't
squash a fly?
370
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:29,336
[scoffs] I could crush
everything in my path!
371
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:33,035
Oh, now that's the mom I know.
372
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:37,648
My ruthlessness and cruelty
put this place on the map!
373
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:40,738
And you pick that half-lizard
Slither over me?
374
00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:42,262
Okay, Mom,
taking a weird left turn.
375
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,309
You sit there like
a deluded fool
376
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:47,832
on your fancy throne
377
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:50,357
and you will never...
378
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,968
rule the world without me...
379
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:53,969
Onyx.
380
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:56,450
What's going on?
381
00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,974
Did you just chug
an energy drink?
382
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,758
[chuckles]
383
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,456
I think we had a real
personal breakthrough.
384
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:04,371
-It's time to go now.
-I'm not done!
385
00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:08,288
You don't think I can sell
your stupid face cream?
386
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:12,814
Oh. All I need to do is show
everyone here how it works.
387
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:18,080
[sputters]
388
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,778
[giggles]
389
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:23,303
Now, when do I start?
390
00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:30,701
One-Adam-Twelve, we have a
suspect who won't stop farting,
391
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:33,443
he should be considered
silent but deadly.
392
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:34,618
[laughs]
393
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,359
Give me that!
394
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,274
What's gotten into you?
395
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:39,841
I'm about to take you
to the station
396
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,930
and give you a "ride-along"
in a holding cell.
397
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,716
-Surprise!
-Ahh!
398
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,110
Celia! What are you doing
back there?
399
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:51,113
I wanted to surprise you
for our anniversary.
400
00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:52,462
I was trying
to leave you a gift,
401
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:55,509
but there's no door handles
back here.
402
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,511
So, you've been
hiding for an hour?
403
00:17:57,554 --> 00:18:02,124
I would have popped up sooner
but I really like eavesdropping.
404
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:03,734
WOMAN [over radio]: All units,
we have a disturbance
405
00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:05,301
at the Valley View High
job fair.
406
00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:07,651
Ooh, that doesn't sound good.
407
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:10,089
Maybe we should swing by the
house and grab my flamethrower.
408
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,571
[upbeat rock music]
409
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:15,790
Whoo!
410
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:20,273
No one, and I mean no one
411
00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,405
face-creams Donna Plank!
412
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,015
Oh!
413
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:25,669
Well, that's obvious.
414
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:27,976
I mean, you don't even
face-cream yourself.
415
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:30,109
I mean, just look at all
those frown lines.
416
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,327
Oh!
417
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:34,025
I moisturize daily!
418
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:36,724
Break it up, folks.
419
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,987
Let's calm down--
Oh!
420
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:42,643
Who did that?
421
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,035
ALL: She did.
422
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:46,951
You're coming with me.
423
00:18:46,995 --> 00:18:49,040
Wait, what? But I didn't do it!
424
00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,825
Don't you know who I am?
425
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:52,696
Of course, I do.
426
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,785
Your face cream
has scarred half the state.
427
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:58,441
Allegedly!
428
00:18:58,485 --> 00:18:59,964
Hurry up and book her!
429
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,792
We have dinner reservations.
430
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,100
Job fair, huh?
431
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,667
Well, it's fair to say
I'll do a great job
432
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:07,842
wrecking this place.
433
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:12,890
Jake, what are you doing?
434
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,675
[grunts]
435
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:16,067
Psst! Over here!
436
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,420
What-- Jake? What is going on?
437
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:23,814
That's not me.
That's an evil clone Dad made.
438
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:26,339
Head's up!
[grunts]
439
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:29,385
Luckily, I implanted
a tracker in him.
440
00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:33,215
And a few other surprises
that we won't go into right now.
441
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:34,695
We have to get everyone
out of here!
442
00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,350
-On it.
-Hartley? I need your help.
443
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,830
-[alarm blares]
-That's the alarm.
444
00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:40,744
Come on, everyone!
445
00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:46,097
[murmuring]
446
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:48,883
I'm gonna enjoy this.
447
00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:50,624
Hey, clone!
448
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,192
There's only room
for one Jake in this town.
449
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,715
With lines like that,
450
00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:57,587
no wonder he wanted
to replace you.
451
00:19:57,631 --> 00:20:00,329
I love this! No matter
who wins, Jake loses!
452
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:08,207
[grunts]
453
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:14,430
[Jake groans]
454
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:19,392
What just happened?
455
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:22,264
I might have given him
ten times your strength.
456
00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:24,048
I'm sorry but what's the point
of making a clone
457
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,615
if he isn't fully loaded?
458
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:27,530
Then how am I
supposed to beat him?
459
00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:28,618
Ooh, I know.
460
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,054
Hey, Colby!
461
00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:32,970
[fly buzzing]
462
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:35,625
Be a dear and distract
Bad Jake for us.
463
00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:37,236
COLBY: On it!
464
00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:40,239
[fly buzzing]
465
00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:44,591
[grunts]
466
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:50,074
Oh, man!
I totally owned that clone!
467
00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:52,033
You know, let's be honest.
468
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:54,165
I think the fly did most
of the heavy lifting.
469
00:20:57,430 --> 00:21:00,302
[upbeat rock music]
470
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:03,653
I'm sorry you didn't get
the job, Mom.
471
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:06,090
Oh, it's okay.
472
00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:08,092
Hey. Thanks to you,
I got something better.
473
00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:10,007
Your confidence?
474
00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:11,879
I was gonna say my first face
cream brawl,
475
00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:12,923
but, yeah, that works.
476
00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:18,581
Son, I guess you were right.
477
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,844
I should have
never made Bad Jake.
478
00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:23,325
Whoa. Is this an apology?
479
00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:26,023
I don't know.
I've never done one.
480
00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:28,069
Look, I don't know
what happened.
481
00:21:28,112 --> 00:21:29,462
I guess I got a little jealous
482
00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:31,202
when I saw you
bonding with Robert.
483
00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:33,466
And it made me miss the old days
484
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:36,295
and the trouble
we used to get into.
485
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,514
So I thought
if I could make you jealous,
486
00:21:38,558 --> 00:21:41,735
maybe you'd want
to hang out again.
487
00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:44,738
You don't need to make me
jealous, you're my dad.
488
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:46,435
It's just that...
489
00:21:46,479 --> 00:21:47,828
things are
a little different now
490
00:21:47,871 --> 00:21:50,744
and we have to find stuff
we both like doing.
491
00:21:50,787 --> 00:21:52,876
Hm, okay.
Well, if that's the case,
492
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:53,877
you wanna go make fun
of Bad Jake
493
00:21:53,921 --> 00:21:56,489
before I vaporize him?
494
00:21:56,532 --> 00:21:58,491
Well, that's what
I call quality time.
495
00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:01,102
[Vic laughs]
496
00:22:01,145 --> 00:22:02,930
How 'bout, "Hey, Bad Jake,
497
00:22:02,973 --> 00:22:04,366
I feel like
I'm looking in a mirror.
498
00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,542
-A broken mirror."
-[laughs]
499
00:22:06,586 --> 00:22:09,415
"Hey, Bad Jake.
Plagiarize your DNA much?"
500
00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:10,459
[laughs]
501
00:22:10,503 --> 00:22:11,939
Hey, Bad Jake.
502
00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:14,507
Nice smoldering eyes
you got there.
503
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:15,943
Yeah, that felt weird
coming out.
504
00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:20,556
Hey.
505
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:22,950
Bad Jake's gone.
506
00:22:22,993 --> 00:22:25,126
And he took out his tracker.
507
00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:26,345
No worries.
I'll just build another Jake
508
00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:27,171
to track him down.
509
00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:30,261
No!
34577
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof