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1
00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:14,900
- This is all one- No! I'm madly
con, isn't it?mein love with him
2
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:17,633
because he's so
incredibly charming.
3
00:00:17,633 --> 00:00:19,400
- I don't know how
it's gonna work,
4
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,700
but I know I need you
in my life.
5
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:21,800
[door opens]
6
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:22,633
Who are you?
7
00:00:22,633 --> 00:00:24,800
- I'm her husband.
8
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,300
[tense music]
9
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,667
- Her husband?
Like...
10
00:00:31,667 --> 00:00:33,200
Ex-husband?
11
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,567
- No.
We're still married.
12
00:00:38,067 --> 00:00:39,833
Lexi...
13
00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:42,600
it's great seeing you.
14
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,167
- [mouthing]
What the hell's going on here?
15
00:00:45,167 --> 00:00:48,667
- Uh, Curt, this is
Pastor Barlow.
16
00:00:48,667 --> 00:00:52,033
Pastor, could you
give us some privacy, please?
17
00:00:52,033 --> 00:00:54,100
- Yeah. You okay?
18
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,333
- Oh, fine.
19
00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:58,333
I-I'll fill you in
later.
20
00:00:58,333 --> 00:00:59,800
- Here.
21
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,433
For the happy couple.
22
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:07,867
[door bell jingles]
- How did you find me?
23
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,300
- I had a P.I. track you down
24
00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:11,333
after you went to Chicago
for the safe deposit box.
25
00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:13,167
- That you emptied.
26
00:01:13,167 --> 00:01:15,467
- If you needed money,
you could have come to me.
27
00:01:15,467 --> 00:01:18,300
- Come to you?
Curt, I ran from you.
28
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:20,433
- I know.
I don't blame you.
29
00:01:20,433 --> 00:01:23,133
The drinking,
the way I mistreated you...
30
00:01:23,133 --> 00:01:26,200
I'm ashamed
of the man I was.
31
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,567
- Was?
32
00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:30,400
- I'm nothing like the guy
that drove you away.
33
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,233
If you just give me
a chance...
34
00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:35,133
I'll prove it.
35
00:01:35,133 --> 00:01:38,133
[dramatic music]
36
00:01:38,133 --> 00:01:41,067
*
37
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:42,900
Schmidt: Where is she?
38
00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:45,233
I have a big announcement
to make.
39
00:01:45,233 --> 00:01:48,200
Buddy: I was still reeling from
Alexa's marriage bombshell,
40
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,233
and just 'cause I was out $8.99
for a bottle of champagne.
41
00:01:51,233 --> 00:01:52,967
- Sorry, guys.
42
00:01:52,967 --> 00:01:56,733
- Well, now that we are
all gathered,
43
00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:59,133
I have some big news.
44
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:01,100
- Actually, so do I.
45
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,267
- Well...mine is un-toppable,
46
00:02:03,267 --> 00:02:04,933
so go ahead,
Sammy Davis Jr.
47
00:02:04,933 --> 00:02:06,733
Warm it up for Frank!
48
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,533
- Okay. Here goes.
49
00:02:08,533 --> 00:02:12,067
Five years ago, I was married
to a man named Curt.
50
00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:14,667
I still am.
He's in town,
51
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:17,800
and...
we're getting back together.
52
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,100
- A-are you serious?
53
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,967
- That is like
the biggest news ever!
54
00:02:20,967 --> 00:02:22,400
- Ashlee and I are engaged!
55
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,767
- How could you not tell us
you were married?
56
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:25,633
- Things didn't end well,
so when I moved here
57
00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:27,333
it wasn't something
I wanted to talk about.
58
00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:28,933
And then when
we became friends,
59
00:02:28,933 --> 00:02:30,800
it felt weird
to bring it up.
60
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,400
- It didn't end well,
but now you're back with him?
61
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,667
- Yeah. Curt and I
had our issues,
62
00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:37,400
but we've always
loved each other,
63
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,467
and we talked it through
last night.
64
00:02:39,467 --> 00:02:41,233
We're gonna give it
another go.
65
00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:43,067
- Oh, well...
[laughs]
66
00:02:43,067 --> 00:02:44,933
two married people
are staying married.
67
00:02:44,933 --> 00:02:46,900
Call the 6:00 Snooze!
68
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,900
- A husband and wife reuniting
after five years apart?
69
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:52,600
That is so romantic!
- You want romantic?
70
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,767
- When do we get to meet Curt?
Is he moving here?
71
00:02:54,767 --> 00:02:57,067
- He lives in Chicago,
but he has his own plane,
72
00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:58,467
so maybe
he'll fly back and forth?
73
00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:00,100
We'll figure it out.
74
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:02,933
- What's already figured out
is the engagement party
75
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:06,167
that Ashlee and I are throwing
Saturday night, huh?
76
00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:07,733
And you're all invited.
77
00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:09,633
- Geez, Alden, you haven't
been dating very long.
78
00:03:09,633 --> 00:03:11,367
Isn't this engagement
kinda quick?
79
00:03:11,367 --> 00:03:13,333
- That is not
the proper response!
80
00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:16,167
Proper response is like,
uh, "congratulations,"
81
00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:18,533
a hearty clap on the shoulder.
82
00:03:18,533 --> 00:03:20,167
No, don't touch me.
83
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,867
[beeping]
- Oh! Sorry.
84
00:03:22,867 --> 00:03:24,100
[beeping stops]
85
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,467
Oh, my gosh!
86
00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:28,700
A Bohemian Waxwing
has been sighted nearby!
87
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:30,233
There hasn't been one
in this area
88
00:03:30,233 --> 00:03:32,300
since April of aught 3!
89
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:33,933
- Well, what are you
waiting for?
90
00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:36,433
The Waxwing is at the top
of your bird bucket list!
91
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,600
- I know, but I wanna
hear about Curt.
92
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,267
- And my impending nuptials.
93
00:03:40,267 --> 00:03:41,733
- [noncommittal sound]
- Go!
94
00:03:41,733 --> 00:03:43,200
We'll have plenty of time
to talk.
95
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,500
- Okay, thanks.
Aah!
96
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,700
Okay, I gotta
go get my binocs!
97
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:49,833
- I guess that's...
meeting adjourned.
98
00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:51,200
Alexa, you got a second?
99
00:03:56,133 --> 00:03:57,633
All right, what's going on?
I mean,
100
00:03:57,633 --> 00:03:59,467
you didn't look too happy
to see this guy yesterday,
101
00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:00,967
and now you're back with him?
102
00:04:00,967 --> 00:04:03,500
- Buddy, I left Curt
because he was drinking a lot,
103
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:06,300
and...and things got bad.
104
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,233
But he says he's sober now
and a completely different man.
105
00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:12,467
- [scoffs] I don't buy it.
Once a dick, always a dick.
106
00:04:12,467 --> 00:04:14,333
- You don't even
know him.
107
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:16,133
- It's like Jesus said
about the lepers:
108
00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:18,300
"They don't change
their spots."
109
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:19,800
- [sighs]
Buddy,
110
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,633
Curt was the love
of my life at one time,
111
00:04:22,633 --> 00:04:24,500
and if he's back
to being that guy,
112
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,067
don't I owe him
a second chance?
113
00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:27,600
- So that's it?
114
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,933
He says he's sorry,
and all is forgiven?
115
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,833
What about us?
116
00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:35,467
- Us?
117
00:04:35,467 --> 00:04:39,833
You haven't even wanted
to tell people we're together.
118
00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:42,967
- Well,
maybe I'm ready now.
119
00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:44,800
- [small laugh]
120
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,500
Buddy, please don't
make this harder
121
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:49,100
than it already is for me.
122
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:51,533
I'm sorry.
123
00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:54,133
[soft music]
124
00:04:54,133 --> 00:04:55,567
- [sighs]
125
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:57,733
- Favorite color.
- Well, I tell people blue,
126
00:04:57,733 --> 00:04:59,267
but it's really beige.
127
00:04:59,267 --> 00:05:02,533
- Oh, my gosh--I thought I was
the only one who loved beige!
128
00:05:02,533 --> 00:05:03,867
[both laugh]
- This is--
129
00:05:03,867 --> 00:05:06,133
W--Look who's here!
Old friends.
130
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:10,067
Paul and Wendy Johnsen,
I'd like you to meet Ashlee.
131
00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:11,633
She's my fiancee!
132
00:05:11,633 --> 00:05:13,967
- Nice to meet you.
- Say, just had an idea!
133
00:05:13,967 --> 00:05:15,833
How 'bout the four of us
have dinner some night?
134
00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:19,100
- We're, uh...
pretty busy.
135
00:05:23,067 --> 00:05:24,667
- Don't mind them.
136
00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:30,367
- [trilling]
137
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,667
[distant trilling]
138
00:05:36,933 --> 00:05:39,933
[light music]
139
00:05:39,933 --> 00:05:42,200
*
140
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,800
[drum beat bong]
141
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:44,967
[spits]
142
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:49,867
[suspenseful music]
143
00:05:49,867 --> 00:05:51,700
*
144
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,933
Oh, cheese and rice!
145
00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:56,700
- Hey.
146
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,633
First time
you've ever called me.
147
00:05:58,633 --> 00:06:00,233
What's up?
148
00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:01,867
- I have a proposition
for you.
149
00:06:01,867 --> 00:06:03,167
- Ah,
believe it or not...
150
00:06:03,167 --> 00:06:05,600
I'm not in the mood
for a blowski.
151
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:06,800
- Mm.
- See, there's this woman--
152
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,733
- I don't give a shit.
153
00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:11,567
I want you to convince Alden
to marry me as soon as possible.
154
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:13,867
- Why?
- Because I want access
155
00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:16,767
to all his money
before he gets cold feet.
156
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:18,767
- And they say romance
is dead.
157
00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:20,500
How soon you wanna
get married?
158
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,567
- Tomorrow.
- That's impossible.
159
00:06:22,567 --> 00:06:25,500
- I'll pay you 20 grand.
- What time tomorrow?
160
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,233
Buddy: Convincing Schmidt
to marry Ashlee in one day
161
00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:29,700
would take some inspiration,
162
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:32,300
so I got out my weed
and my party meds.
163
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,100
- Buddy? Buddy!
164
00:06:36,533 --> 00:06:37,800
- [muffled around cigarette]
I'm in here.
165
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,400
[spits]
- Oh, Buddy!
166
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,867
- Hey.
167
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,633
- [breathless] Oh...
You are never gonna believe
168
00:06:42,633 --> 00:06:44,233
what I just saw.
- That chicken
169
00:06:44,233 --> 00:06:46,300
you were looking for?
170
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,133
- It is a Bohemian Waxwing,
and no.
171
00:06:48,133 --> 00:06:51,067
I was out in McKenna Woods,
and I tripped and I fell,
172
00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:54,767
and I saw a hand
sticking out of the ground.
173
00:06:54,767 --> 00:06:56,633
A dead man's hand.
174
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,567
- Okay, take it easy,
Dora.
175
00:06:58,567 --> 00:07:00,167
It was probably
just some sticks.
176
00:07:00,167 --> 00:07:02,733
- Oh, really?
Do sticks look like this?
177
00:07:02,733 --> 00:07:04,600
Do sticks have fingernails?
178
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,667
- Okay. Why don't you
sit down?
179
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:08,067
- I need to call
Sheriff Graham.
180
00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:10,100
And I was going to
from the woods,
181
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:11,533
but I left my phone here.
182
00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:13,600
- All right,
what you need to do
183
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,067
is calm down, all right?
184
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,500
That body--
i-if that's what you saw--
185
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,667
isn't going anywhere.
- Buddy--
186
00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:22,267
- Hey, you look
pretty banged up.
187
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:23,600
Here...
188
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,067
take some aspirin.
189
00:07:26,267 --> 00:07:28,600
Okay?
- 'Kay.
190
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,867
- Wash her down.
- Oh--Th--
191
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,100
- Oh, yeah,
it's good.
192
00:07:34,733 --> 00:07:36,567
I'll go get something
to clean off that knee.
193
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:40,933
I felt bad about drugging Dora
with my party meds.
194
00:07:40,933 --> 00:07:44,333
They were expensive,
and those were my last ones.
195
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,167
But I needed some time...
196
00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:47,700
- [snoring]
197
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,800
- And who doesn't enjoy
an afternoon nap?
198
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,400
[light suspenseful music]
199
00:07:55,400 --> 00:08:02,100
*
200
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,067
- Buddy?
201
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,267
- Hey!
202
00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:08,633
You're up!
203
00:08:08,633 --> 00:08:10,200
- How long was I out?
204
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,433
- 'Bout three hours.
205
00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:13,167
I thought you might
have a concussion,
206
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:14,700
so I wanted you
to sleep it off.
207
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:15,933
[knock at door]
208
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:19,700
- Hi, Buddy.
Oh, good, you're here.
209
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,900
I have been bursting
at the seams to talk to you
210
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:24,233
about Alexa's husband
and Schmidt's engagement.
211
00:08:24,233 --> 00:08:27,300
- I found a dead body
in the woods.
212
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:29,867
- What? That's awful!
213
00:08:29,867 --> 00:08:32,600
Now everyone has big news
except me.
214
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,200
[light music]
215
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,500
- I'd dug up
and reburied a body,
216
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,067
lost my girlfriend
to her husband,
217
00:08:38,067 --> 00:08:39,800
and agreed to marry off
my hooker.
218
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,967
I needed a drink.
219
00:08:41,967 --> 00:08:43,067
*
220
00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:45,633
[dramatic musical flourish]
221
00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:48,900
Curt, right?
222
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:51,333
Remember me,
Pastor Barlow?
223
00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:54,200
- Course. Thanks for that bottle
of champagne, Pastor.
224
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,167
But I'm three years sober
now.
225
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:58,100
- Ah. Good for you.
226
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,767
- You have 12 Steps
at the church?
227
00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:03,267
- Naw. Probably five or six,
then you're in. Why?
228
00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:05,067
- I meant the program.
229
00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:07,300
- Oh! You mean
for the drunks.
230
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:09,167
Yeah.
Yeah, we got that.
231
00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:11,667
Anyway, Alexa tells me you two
are getting back together.
232
00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:13,833
- Yes. I feel so blessed.
233
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:18,800
- You know, as her
spiritual advisor,
234
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,067
I should
get to know you better.
235
00:09:21,067 --> 00:09:22,900
Maybe we could...
grab a beer sometime?
236
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:25,167
You can have one.
No problem, right?
237
00:09:25,167 --> 00:09:27,467
- 'Fraid not.
238
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,067
Uh, you ready to go, Lexi?
239
00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:32,067
- Yeah. Nice to see you
again, Pastor.
240
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,633
- It's just so weird.
241
00:09:38,633 --> 00:09:40,600
I thought Alexa and I
were close.
242
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,333
How could she not tell me
that she had a husband?
243
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,533
- Maybe she didn't want
to hurt your feelings,
244
00:09:45,533 --> 00:09:47,533
you being in your 30s
and not married.
245
00:09:47,533 --> 00:09:49,833
- You're in your 30s
and not married.
246
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:51,633
- That's mean.
247
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,867
- How much longer?
248
00:09:52,867 --> 00:09:55,400
I already did
my 2,000 steps for today.
249
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,333
*
250
00:09:58,333 --> 00:10:00,300
- There's my scarf.
251
00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:04,300
What--I mean,
I don't get it.
252
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,133
It was right here!
253
00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:09,067
- Not gonna lie.
This is disappointing.
254
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,967
- In all my years of pastoring,
255
00:10:10,967 --> 00:10:13,900
I haven't seen two people
this ready to get married
256
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,833
since Jesus and Mary!
257
00:10:15,833 --> 00:10:19,500
Now, I'm guessing there are like
zero problems between you two.
258
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,767
You seem totally compatible.
259
00:10:20,767 --> 00:10:22,667
- Well, there is one issue.
260
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:24,667
I wanna be intimate
with Alden,
261
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,467
but we can't.
262
00:10:26,467 --> 00:10:28,067
- Why not?
263
00:10:28,067 --> 00:10:30,067
- Ashlee
is abstaining from...
264
00:10:30,067 --> 00:10:32,500
[lowers voice] sexual
[normal voice] uh, relations
265
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:33,900
until after we're married.
266
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,567
For religious reasons.
267
00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:37,033
- [coughs, gags]
268
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,033
Bless you, my child.
269
00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:42,967
But with such obvious physical
chemistry between you two,
270
00:10:42,967 --> 00:10:45,500
I'm not sure abstaining
is healthy.
271
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:46,867
- I know what you mean.
272
00:10:46,867 --> 00:10:50,000
I just want him so bad
it hurts.
273
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,600
- Ashlee, could you
give us a minute?
274
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,200
- Sure.
275
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,300
I'll miss you.
276
00:11:01,533 --> 00:11:02,833
[door opens, closes]
277
00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:04,433
- What are you waiting for,
man?
278
00:11:04,433 --> 00:11:06,633
You have to marry this girl
as soon as possible.
279
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,067
She's hot for you!
280
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,233
- Well, clearly...
uh, but, uh,
281
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:12,167
I don't--what's the rush?
282
00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:13,633
- Look, if you don't
lock this down,
283
00:11:13,633 --> 00:11:14,967
she's gonna get snatched away
284
00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:16,267
by someone way better-looking
than you.
285
00:11:16,267 --> 00:11:18,067
I'm just gonna
throw it out there.
286
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:19,833
Tomorrow night--
your engagement party.
287
00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:22,433
Turn it into a surprise wedding.
288
00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:23,733
- Surprise wedding?
289
00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:25,933
- People will talk about it
for years!
290
00:11:25,933 --> 00:11:27,867
Way more than
the Alexa thing, for sure.
291
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:30,967
- By God, if I'm gonna
do it anyway,
292
00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:32,433
why not tomorrow?
293
00:11:32,433 --> 00:11:34,467
- Exactly!
And on your wedding night,
294
00:11:34,467 --> 00:11:37,667
you are gonna love that thing
she does with her pinky.
295
00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:39,267
[laughs]
296
00:11:39,267 --> 00:11:41,933
That I've heard
most hetero women do in bed.
297
00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:43,333
[light music]
298
00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:46,567
- Dead bodies don't just
get up and walk away.
299
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:49,133
- Unless they're zombies.
300
00:11:49,133 --> 00:11:52,067
Which...I think
we can discount.
301
00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:54,967
- Look, I am not cuckoo.
302
00:11:54,967 --> 00:11:56,967
I know what I saw.
[gasps]
303
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:59,233
Do you think that maybe
an animal came along
304
00:11:59,233 --> 00:12:01,433
and dug it up
and then moved it?
305
00:12:01,433 --> 00:12:04,967
- Then filled the hole
and placed your scarf on top?
306
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,833
That makes your zombie
theory look good.
307
00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:08,500
- I knew
you'd come around.
308
00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:11,400
Buddy:
Okay, what happened?
309
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,500
I saw your hand shaking
at the Roast Office.
310
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,200
Did he do something?
311
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,400
- You were right.
He hasn't changed.
312
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,833
He's drinking again.
313
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:20,900
- Yes!
- Buddy, I'm scared.
314
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,367
When Curt and I were married,
he was crazy jealous,
315
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,533
always accusing me
of having affairs,
316
00:12:25,533 --> 00:12:28,267
screaming at me if I even
talked to another man.
317
00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:32,067
And then he'd get drunk
and he'd go into these rages.
318
00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:34,067
- Did he ever--
- I don't wanna talk about it.
319
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:36,233
- Where is he now?
I'm gonna tell him to go home
320
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,633
while he still has his teeth.
- No, no, no, no!
321
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:38,867
Please don't get involved.
322
00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:40,833
You don't know
the temper he has,
323
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,133
what he'll do to you.
324
00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:43,467
- Why don't you
just divorce him?
325
00:12:43,467 --> 00:12:45,667
- The last time
that I hinted at divorce,
326
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:47,200
he threatened to kill me,
327
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,700
and when you are
as rich as he is,
328
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,067
you can get away with it.
329
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:52,700
- Alexa, you need to
leave this asshole.
330
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:56,267
- I know. But I need you
alive when I do.
331
00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:00,400
I love you, Buddy.
332
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,400
[dramatic music]
333
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:07,067
*
334
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,067
- Look, I believe
335
00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:12,900
that you believe
you saw something.
336
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:17,633
Psychology teaches us that
sometimes our subconscious...
337
00:13:17,633 --> 00:13:18,933
I don't remember the rest.
338
00:13:18,933 --> 00:13:20,667
I dropped that class
mid-semester.
339
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,767
- Russell,
I know what I saw.
340
00:13:22,767 --> 00:13:24,500
And I'm gonna prove it.
341
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,300
- There was no way
I was letting Alexa
342
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:27,967
go back to Chicago
with that guy.
343
00:13:27,967 --> 00:13:29,400
[knock at door]
Yeah.
344
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,433
Hey.
- Hey.
345
00:13:34,267 --> 00:13:36,233
- Curt knows
there's something between us.
346
00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:39,567
I denied it,
but he did not believe me.
347
00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:41,167
He's furious.
348
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:43,067
- Did he hurt you?
- No.
349
00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:44,933
But I'm afraid
he's gonna come after you.
350
00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:47,067
I saw a pistol in his bag.
351
00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:49,167
Do you have anything
to protect yourself with?
352
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:51,367
- Yeah, remember Damien,
the guy you shot?
353
00:13:51,367 --> 00:13:52,833
I kept his gun
just in case.
354
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,300
- Well, keep it close.
355
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,300
I would never forgive myself
if anything happened to you.
356
00:13:59,267 --> 00:14:00,867
- Come with me
to Mexico.
357
00:14:00,867 --> 00:14:02,367
- Mexico?!
- Yeah.
358
00:14:02,367 --> 00:14:03,967
I have a place near Cancun.
359
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,633
I'm coming into some money
tonight.
360
00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:06,900
Then we can take off.
361
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,767
- Um...
362
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:09,967
Yeah!
363
00:14:09,967 --> 00:14:12,467
- Yeah?
- Let's do it.
364
00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:14,667
W-what about Curt?
365
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,800
- Bring him to
Schmidt's engagement party.
366
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,900
I'll take care of the rest.
367
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,633
- Oh! Thank you, Buddy.
368
00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:22,567
- [sighs]
369
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:25,067
[tense music]
370
00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:29,067
[distant beeping]
371
00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:30,767
[louder beeping]
372
00:14:30,767 --> 00:14:33,567
[continues beeping]
373
00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:36,500
[dramatic music]
374
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,067
*
375
00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:41,333
- Mother of Mary Christmas!
376
00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:45,300
[light dinner music]
377
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,700
*
378
00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:50,167
- You're wearing white?
379
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:53,067
What, after a certain number,
the odometer resets?
380
00:14:53,067 --> 00:14:54,433
- It's my first marriage,
wiseass.
381
00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:56,567
- You have my money?
- I do.
382
00:14:56,567 --> 00:14:59,567
But you won't see it
till he says "I do."
383
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,300
- Buddy.
384
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:03,667
Something feels wrong
about this.
385
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:05,367
I think Alden's
making a mistake.
386
00:15:05,367 --> 00:15:07,333
Should I say something to him?
- No!
387
00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:10,633
An engagement party
is no place to bring up doubt.
388
00:15:10,633 --> 00:15:13,467
That kinda stuff should wait
till after they're married.
389
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,967
Alexa, hey.
Schmidt's party's starting.
390
00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:19,533
Where are you?
Call me!
391
00:15:19,533 --> 00:15:20,633
- Buddy.
392
00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:23,500
I found my phone.
393
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:26,733
- Great. It's a...special day
for everyone.
394
00:15:26,733 --> 00:15:29,733
- It was in the woods
near where the body was.
395
00:15:29,733 --> 00:15:32,100
- Damn! Must have fallen
out of my jacket
396
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:33,500
when I was dragging Damien.
397
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:37,133
Uh...you must have
dropped it bird-watching.
398
00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:38,667
- I didn't have it then.
399
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:43,300
I came back to the house
to call the police, and then...
400
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,700
you took it away from me,
remember?
401
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:47,633
- Uh...no.
402
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,733
- [exhales]
The last time I saw my phone,
403
00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:54,700
it was in your hands.
404
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:56,233
I'm sure of it.
405
00:15:56,233 --> 00:16:00,067
- [sighs] Look...
you took a nasty spill.
406
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:02,867
I think
you're remembering wrong.
407
00:16:02,867 --> 00:16:05,067
- And I think you're lying.
408
00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:06,067
- Dora!
409
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:08,233
- I want the truth.
410
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:12,867
Did you go to the woods
while I was sleeping?
411
00:16:12,867 --> 00:16:15,133
*
412
00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:18,867
- Pastor, you are needed
in the living room.
413
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:20,833
- Duty calls.
414
00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:22,700
- Buddy...
415
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,867
- Attention, everyone.
[tapping glass]
416
00:16:29,867 --> 00:16:31,300
I have an announcement to make.
417
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:33,300
And just so you know,
if Alexa shows up later,
418
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:35,433
she's married,
and it's not that big a deal.
419
00:16:35,433 --> 00:16:37,267
- Get on with it, sweetie.
- No--Well,
420
00:16:37,267 --> 00:16:40,967
uh, this engagement party
is actually a wedding!
421
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:42,467
[guests murmur]
Yeah, Ashlee and I
422
00:16:42,467 --> 00:16:44,933
are getting married now!
[Ashlee giggles]
423
00:16:44,933 --> 00:16:47,300
- Wow! That is awesome!
424
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,767
Let's hear it
for the bride and groom!
425
00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:51,233
Huh?
426
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:58,067
[light music]
427
00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:01,633
*
428
00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:07,167
[playing "The Wedding March"]
429
00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:09,333
[playing faster]
430
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:10,533
[stops playing]
431
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,333
- Do you, Alden, take--
432
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,100
[phone vibrates]
Hang on a sec.
433
00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:22,200
[guests exclaim, murmur]
434
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,800
- Where is he going?
[door closes]
435
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,133
- I don't know.
436
00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:28,200
I don't know
if I know him anymore.
437
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,500
- Why is he always
running off someplace?
438
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:34,900
- Alden, sweetie,
I wanna get married.
439
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:36,300
Right now.
440
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,433
- Oh, now, don't you
worry, pumpkin.
441
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,600
Is anyone here
an ordained minister?
442
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,800
- We'll even take a rabbi.
- She's kidding!
443
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,167
We want it to be legal
in the eyes of God.
444
00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:47,233
- Russell's ordained.
He could officiate.
445
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:50,067
You officiated
at Seth and Nick's wedding.
446
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:52,400
- Do you do normal
weddings too?
447
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,067
- Normal?
- Between a man and woman, yeah.
448
00:17:55,067 --> 00:17:57,533
- I could...but I won't.
449
00:17:57,533 --> 00:17:59,233
- Why? Don't you think
straight people
450
00:17:59,233 --> 00:18:00,633
deserve
to get married too?
451
00:18:00,633 --> 00:18:02,067
- No, it's not that, I--
452
00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:04,333
I just don't believe
this is true love.
453
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,800
- [gasps]
[guests murmur]
454
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,067
- Alden!
455
00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:10,300
Your friends suck!
456
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:12,133
[plays off-chord]
457
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,933
[tires screeching]
458
00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:20,967
- What's he doing here?
- Curt, take it easy.
459
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,067
I'll get rid of him.
460
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:23,967
Thank God you're here.
461
00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:25,267
Save me, Buddy.
462
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,367
- Get away from her.
- Not a chance.
463
00:18:28,367 --> 00:18:30,133
I'm not gonna let you
hurt her anymore.
464
00:18:30,133 --> 00:18:32,533
- Me? You're the one
who's been abusing her.
465
00:18:32,533 --> 00:18:33,967
- What?
- He's gonna kill you!
466
00:18:33,967 --> 00:18:35,600
Shoot him, Buddy!
467
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,500
- Lexi,
you said he hit you.
468
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,267
- He's lying!
Shoot him!
469
00:18:39,267 --> 00:18:41,067
- Alexa, what is going on?
470
00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:42,267
[gunshot]
Oh!
471
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:47,867
- What did you do?
- Damn it!
472
00:18:47,867 --> 00:18:50,500
Why didn't you shoot him?
I had it all worked out!
473
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,067
- Worked out?
- Curt dies.
474
00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:53,367
I inherit all his money,
475
00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:55,233
and you get off
with justifiable homicide.
476
00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:57,400
We could have still
been together, and rich!
477
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,900
- What? What, you planned
on me killing him?
478
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:03,233
- Why not? You killed
Ray and Kenny for me.
479
00:19:03,233 --> 00:19:04,500
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, right.
480
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,367
And you're a real pastor,
too.
481
00:19:06,367 --> 00:19:09,200
[tense music]
482
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,900
*
483
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,833
- You were playing me
the whole time?
484
00:19:13,833 --> 00:19:16,600
- Since the moment this
bastard walked into my store.
485
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,667
I knew you couldn't resist
being the hero.
486
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:21,400
I just had to make you
believe that I was in danger.
487
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,767
- But you never were.
- Not this time.
488
00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:25,267
But who knows
what would have happened
489
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:26,567
if I went back with him
490
00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:28,533
after the way
he treated me before?
491
00:19:28,533 --> 00:19:30,533
He got what he deserved.
492
00:19:30,533 --> 00:19:34,833
- Wow. You really
sold me a story, didn't you?
493
00:19:34,833 --> 00:19:37,533
- And now I have to sell
the police the story
494
00:19:37,533 --> 00:19:40,533
that my possessive husband
and my secret lover
495
00:19:40,533 --> 00:19:43,067
got into a gunfight...
496
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:44,500
and killed each other.
497
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,233
- But that's not what--
498
00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:48,700
Oh.
499
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:52,067
Here.
500
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:54,233
Take the place in Mexico.
501
00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:55,833
This never happened.
502
00:19:55,833 --> 00:19:59,267
- It's too bad, Buddy.
I really did like you.
503
00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:02,200
[tense music]
504
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:07,000
*
505
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,467
Oh, hell, gimme the key.
506
00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:11,200
You ever tell anyone
about this,
507
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,700
I won't be the only one
508
00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:14,367
spending the rest of
my life in jail.
509
00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:16,600
- What about him?
510
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,400
- You'll handle it.
511
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:24,000
You're good at making
things go away.
512
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,400
[car door opens, closes]
513
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,733
[engine revs]
514
00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:36,767
[sirens approaching]
515
00:20:36,767 --> 00:20:39,267
- God damn it.
36009
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