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1
00:00:06,767 --> 00:00:08,633
- Previously on "Impastor"...
2
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,167
- It is time we showed
the world we're a couple.
3
00:00:10,167 --> 00:00:12,533
- I brought you a Bible
for your desk.
4
00:00:12,533 --> 00:00:13,867
Now you look
like a real pastor.
5
00:00:13,867 --> 00:00:15,267
- When you get your shot
at revenge,
6
00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:16,800
make the most of it.
7
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,933
- I can't believe Austin
would do such a thing.
8
00:00:18,933 --> 00:00:20,500
- I hereby sentence you
to two years
9
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,300
at Murdock Juvenile
Detention Center.
10
00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:23,567
- Buddy!
11
00:00:23,567 --> 00:00:24,833
- Come with me.
I know who you are.
12
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,367
- Okay, Barlow,
13
00:00:30,367 --> 00:00:32,067
or whatever your real name is.
14
00:00:32,067 --> 00:00:33,933
I'm Federal Agent Landecker.
15
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:35,933
- 'Sup?
[clears throat]
16
00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:37,900
- I'm the Director of the
Pacific Northwest Division,
17
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:39,967
and we don't have
any record of an agent
18
00:00:39,967 --> 00:00:43,100
working undercover
in Ladner.
19
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:47,467
Which is a real
compliment to you.
20
00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:48,767
- It is?
21
00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:52,933
- When you national boys
go U.C., you go deep.
22
00:00:52,933 --> 00:00:54,567
- [sighs]
23
00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:55,967
Thanks.
24
00:00:55,967 --> 00:00:57,767
How do you know
I'm undercover?
25
00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:00,333
- I'm not at liberty to say.
26
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:02,200
- It was that cop,
Hyde, right?
27
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,733
- You are good.
28
00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:07,167
- That's why they call me
"The Cobra."
29
00:01:11,067 --> 00:01:13,500
- I'm reaching out to you
because we've been trying
30
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:15,233
to make a corruption case
against Judge Bell,
31
00:01:15,233 --> 00:01:16,400
and I need your help.
32
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,700
- Oh, I don't know.
33
00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:20,833
HQ wants me to focus on
Operation Holy Ghost.
34
00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:22,367
- Well, listen, listen.
35
00:01:22,367 --> 00:01:24,333
You're in the perfect place
to work the judge.
36
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:25,600
He's been getting kickbacks
37
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,300
from a private juvenile
detention prison
38
00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:28,800
for every kid
he sends in there.
39
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,233
We just haven't been able
to prove it yet.
40
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:34,067
- If I do this job,
41
00:01:34,067 --> 00:01:35,833
my kid goes free?
42
00:01:35,833 --> 00:01:38,133
- All the railroaded kids
would go free.
43
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,167
- Okay.
44
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,367
Cobra's in.
- Great.
45
00:01:43,367 --> 00:01:45,667
Well, I'm the S.A.C.
in this rent-a-goon op.
46
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:47,067
U.A.C.B.
47
00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:48,800
Are we clear?
48
00:01:50,233 --> 00:01:51,967
- Couldn't be clearer.
49
00:01:51,967 --> 00:01:54,967
[rock music]
50
00:01:54,967 --> 00:01:57,633
*
51
00:01:57,633 --> 00:01:59,433
- When are you guys
gonna get me out of here?
52
00:01:59,433 --> 00:02:01,267
- Well, I talked to a lawyer.
53
00:02:01,267 --> 00:02:03,400
He said it would cost
$15,000
54
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,067
and could take
up to two years.
55
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,433
- Two years?
56
00:02:06,433 --> 00:02:07,900
- Guys, they're sending me
to Murdock.
57
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:10,133
Do you know what they do
to kids like me in Murdock?
58
00:02:10,133 --> 00:02:11,500
- Is there anything
I can get you
59
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,733
that you need right now?
60
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,867
A soda?
Maybe some chips?
61
00:02:14,867 --> 00:02:18,067
- Yeah, because some snacks are
gonna make everything wonderful.
62
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,467
- I'm on it.
63
00:02:19,467 --> 00:02:22,067
I saw a vending machine
down the hallway.
64
00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:23,933
- Listen, Austin,
65
00:02:23,933 --> 00:02:25,333
I'm working on something
66
00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:27,067
that might get you
out of here real soon.
67
00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:29,400
I'm gonna take care of you.
68
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,300
- You know how many times
I've heard that in my life?
69
00:02:33,367 --> 00:02:35,667
[upbeat music]
70
00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:37,167
- Well, I'm here already.
71
00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:40,467
*
72
00:02:40,467 --> 00:02:43,867
Oh, my.
73
00:02:43,867 --> 00:02:46,067
Oh, my!
74
00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:47,367
- I tell you,
it's amazing
75
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,233
how you got songs
from different artists
76
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:50,967
all on the same
compact disc.
77
00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:54,267
It's like an all-star game
for my ears.
78
00:02:54,267 --> 00:02:56,200
- Oh, hello.
79
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,267
- Yeah, Ashlee, this is--
[music stops]
80
00:02:58,267 --> 00:02:59,567
Oh, thank you.
81
00:02:59,567 --> 00:03:01,900
This is Dora,
the girl that I trounced
82
00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:04,167
in the presidential election
after she insulted me.
83
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,233
- Oh, right!
Alden told me about that.
84
00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:08,167
From the way he described you,
85
00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:10,133
I had no idea
you were so pretty.
86
00:03:10,133 --> 00:03:12,367
- Well...thank you.
87
00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:15,100
So you're dating Alden.
88
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:17,067
Uh--uh--
89
00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:18,200
Why?
90
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,833
- Well, why wouldn't I?
91
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,500
He's the sweetest, most
charming man I've ever met.
92
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:25,067
- And she's met
lots of men.
93
00:03:25,067 --> 00:03:26,767
- He made me believe in myself.
94
00:03:26,767 --> 00:03:30,433
And even more,
he made me believe in the Lord.
95
00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:32,800
- Yeah, Ashlee is becoming
a member of our church.
96
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,833
- Oh, wonderful.
You don't bowl, do you?
97
00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:38,167
It's just that our ladies' team
has been down a gal
98
00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:41,367
ever since Louise Polk
had her foot taken.
99
00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:43,267
- Sounds...fun.
100
00:03:43,267 --> 00:03:44,433
Count me in.
101
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,133
- Yeah, we-we really
should be going,
102
00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:47,767
uh, uh, sugarplum.
103
00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:50,700
Don't worry, Dora.
You'll find love too someday.
104
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:52,700
Maybe.
105
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,700
[knocking]
106
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,567
- Buddy.
107
00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:59,067
There's something
you don't know about me.
108
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:00,533
- Happy to keep it that way.
109
00:04:00,533 --> 00:04:02,533
- In my 20s,
after my career
110
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:05,067
as a cruise ship magician
didn't pan out,
111
00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:06,867
I dreamed of being a lawyer.
112
00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:09,267
But unfortunately,
I couldn't pass the bar.
113
00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:10,500
- Ah, who can?
114
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,500
See those neon beer signs,
you gotta go in.
115
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:15,833
- But I did write a brief letter
to the supervising judge
116
00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:18,467
arguing how grossly unfair
Judge Bell's sentence was,
117
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,933
vis-à-vis
Austin's petty vandalism.
118
00:04:20,933 --> 00:04:22,700
- I couldn't have
Russell's letter
119
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,500
spooking Judge Bell
before I could bust him.
120
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,067
- I'm off to mail it right now.
121
00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:29,633
If only I had...a stamp.
122
00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:34,500
- You know what, let's
get this moving even faster.
123
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:35,833
I'll take it.
124
00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:37,233
I'm going down
to the courthouse anyway.
125
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:38,633
Another matter.
126
00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:40,100
- Wait, if you're parking
at a meter,
127
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:43,533
you'll need a quarter.
128
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,300
This is the Royal Caribbean
all over again.
129
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,900
- You will never guess what
I found in Buddy's bed.
130
00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:54,067
This.
131
00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:55,733
How do you think
it got there?
132
00:04:55,733 --> 00:04:57,900
- How do you think
it got there?
133
00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:59,400
- I don't know.
134
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,867
I mean,
do you think that Buddy
135
00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:03,767
could be interested
in women?
136
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:06,733
- Uh, well, you know him
better than me.
137
00:05:06,733 --> 00:05:07,800
- Yeah.
138
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,767
Guess I just
never thought about it.
139
00:05:10,767 --> 00:05:12,500
Who do you think
it could be?
140
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,933
- Uh...
141
00:05:13,933 --> 00:05:16,300
- Well, whoever it is,
142
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:17,800
they're pretty trashy.
143
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,633
- Actually, I think
it's sexy and tasteful.
144
00:05:20,633 --> 00:05:23,067
- Maybe if you're
a prostitute.
145
00:05:23,067 --> 00:05:25,333
[doorbell chimes]
146
00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:27,733
- Sheriff,
what a pleasant surprise.
147
00:05:27,733 --> 00:05:30,233
- That almost sounded sincere.
148
00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:32,067
- I do my best.
149
00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:36,067
- You know the other day when
you took that lie detector test?
150
00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:39,567
Really something how that
machine didn't work on you.
151
00:05:39,567 --> 00:05:41,167
- I hear those babies
are expensive to fix.
152
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:42,533
Is it still under warranty?
153
00:05:42,533 --> 00:05:43,600
- Funny thing though.
154
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,433
After you left,
I asked Lionel
155
00:05:45,433 --> 00:05:47,433
to hook me up to it,
and it worked just fine.
156
00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:50,233
I wondered, why would
the test work for me
157
00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:51,633
and not for you?
158
00:05:51,633 --> 00:05:56,233
- Maybe it's more
of a "lady-tector" test.
159
00:05:56,233 --> 00:05:57,533
Come on.
160
00:05:57,533 --> 00:05:59,067
- But then I thought,
161
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,467
what if Lionel couldn't
get a baseline on you
162
00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:05,067
because every answer
about yourself was a lie?
163
00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:08,267
That would mean you aren't
who you say you are,
164
00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:09,900
Pastor Barlow.
165
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:12,200
- And given your logic,
that would also mean
166
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,833
I didn't kill Ray Flores.
167
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:17,733
- But I have a feeling
you know who did.
168
00:06:17,733 --> 00:06:21,933
And I'm not gonna stop
until I know all about that
169
00:06:21,933 --> 00:06:24,067
and all about you.
170
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:25,067
[suspenseful music]
171
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:30,067
Buddy: Turns out,
cops and judges
172
00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,533
weren't the only boobs
causing me trouble.
173
00:06:31,533 --> 00:06:33,433
This is why I told you,
you should never wear bras.
174
00:06:33,433 --> 00:06:35,433
- I don't like lying
to my friends, Buddy,
175
00:06:35,433 --> 00:06:37,300
and I don't like
sneaking around.
176
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:38,933
Maybe we should just
tell everyone about us.
177
00:06:38,933 --> 00:06:40,467
- No.
No, I'm not ready.
178
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,567
I'm still confused about
the whole gay/straight thing.
179
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:44,733
- You weren't confused
last night.
180
00:06:44,733 --> 00:06:46,167
Three times.
181
00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:47,700
- Yeah, but on the last one,
182
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,300
I was pretending
you were a dude.
183
00:06:52,367 --> 00:06:54,167
- Look, I don't know
if you're confused
184
00:06:54,167 --> 00:06:57,133
or embarrassed or just afraid
of how people will react,
185
00:06:57,133 --> 00:06:58,400
but until you figure it out,
186
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:02,067
maybe we shouldn't
do this anymore.
187
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:03,633
- Maybe you're right.
188
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:08,333
- No, this is not
one of those moments.
189
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,967
- [sighs]
190
00:07:11,967 --> 00:07:14,433
Still no.
191
00:07:16,433 --> 00:07:19,433
[smooth music]
192
00:07:19,433 --> 00:07:24,533
*
193
00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:26,967
- The plot thickens.
194
00:07:26,967 --> 00:07:29,700
Buddy: This was my one shot
to get Austin out of jail.
195
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,433
But if the FBI saw through me,
196
00:07:31,433 --> 00:07:33,333
I knew I'd be joining him.
197
00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:36,100
- Okay, let's get you wired.
198
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:39,533
What are you doing?
199
00:07:39,533 --> 00:07:43,533
I was just gonna put this
on your lapel.
200
00:07:43,533 --> 00:07:44,867
- Oh, yeah.
201
00:07:44,867 --> 00:07:46,933
Just I've been through
so many of these things.
202
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:47,933
I'm bored.
203
00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:50,633
- Yeah, right.
- Yeah.
204
00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:53,533
- All right,
it's voice-activated,
205
00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:55,333
so it'll pick up
everything the judge says.
206
00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:58,400
I take it you're well versed
in tactical memorization.
207
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,067
- Of course.
208
00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:02,500
- Good.
209
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,333
This is a list of all
the facts about the case
210
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:07,133
and questions I want you
to ask the judge.
211
00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:09,800
Commit to memory.
212
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,833
- [sighs]
213
00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:14,067
Hey.
214
00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:15,500
- What?
215
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,733
Can't have any leave-behinds.
216
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:19,067
- Right.
217
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:21,567
It's just that--
call me old-school,
218
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:24,633
I usually eat the paper.
219
00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:26,667
- No agent does that.
220
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:27,900
- Fact.
221
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,867
I once at a field manual
222
00:08:29,867 --> 00:08:31,500
and shit out Old Glory.
223
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,167
Dare me.
224
00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:38,900
- Man, Cobra,
you're something else.
225
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:42,100
- And don't you forget it.
226
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,067
- Blonde with dark roots.
227
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:46,400
Coarse from years of bleaching.
228
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:47,967
It could be Alexa's.
What's your point?
229
00:08:47,967 --> 00:08:50,600
- That it could have been
Alexa in Buddy's bed.
230
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,767
Doing what people do in bed.
231
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,833
You know, when they're not
sleeping or reading
232
00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:58,833
or watching TV
or knitting or--
233
00:08:58,833 --> 00:09:01,700
- I know what people do,
but that's ridiculous.
234
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:02,800
- Is it?
235
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,067
Because when
I showed her the bra,
236
00:09:04,067 --> 00:09:05,500
she seemed
a little squirrely.
237
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:07,733
- I know for a fact
that Buddy Barlow
238
00:09:07,733 --> 00:09:09,533
is 100% gay.
239
00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:12,067
No man can look at me
the way he does
240
00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:13,700
and be a breeder.
241
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:16,767
- Maybe he's weaning
himself off being gay.
242
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:20,100
- That's not how it works.
It's not like dairy or carbs.
243
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,667
- Well, something is going on.
244
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:24,767
And I'm going
to find out what.
245
00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:28,567
- Your Honor, I'm a law
and order guy just like you.
246
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,933
And I love how you take
a hard stance
247
00:09:30,933 --> 00:09:32,233
against juvenile delinquents,
248
00:09:32,233 --> 00:09:35,600
but you should let
Austin McCain go.
249
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,167
- Why is that?
250
00:09:37,167 --> 00:09:38,833
- Because he's a good kid.
251
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:41,300
And believe me, there are a lot
of bad ones out there.
252
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,600
Real scumbags who deserve
to be in jail.
253
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,133
- Harsh language
for a man of God.
254
00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:47,700
- Oh, trust me.
255
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,500
God wants these
troublemaking turds
256
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,500
behind bars
as much as you and I do.
257
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,067
And I can get 'em for you.
258
00:09:53,067 --> 00:09:55,067
- What do you mean for me?
259
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:57,633
- I mean,
for the justice system.
260
00:09:57,633 --> 00:09:59,167
For America.
261
00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:01,833
If we work together,
we could get a hundred
262
00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:06,133
of these pre-pube drug-running
dirtballs off the street.
263
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:09,600
- Pastor,
as much as I appreciate
264
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,033
your anticrime zeal,
265
00:10:11,033 --> 00:10:14,100
I am not in the habit
of rescinding my sentences.
266
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:15,533
- But, Your Honor--
- I'm sorry.
267
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:18,033
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm due in court.
268
00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:19,933
[dramatic music]
269
00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:23,167
[smooth music plays]
270
00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:24,733
- You're in a mood.
271
00:10:24,733 --> 00:10:26,767
- You bet I am.
272
00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:31,333
You know,
since my divorce is final
273
00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:35,633
as of today,
I thought we might...
274
00:10:35,633 --> 00:10:37,033
move it up a notch.
275
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:39,100
- Oh?
- Yeah.
276
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:45,067
*
277
00:10:45,067 --> 00:10:47,400
[moaning]
278
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,333
- I'm sorry,
we have to stop.
279
00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:50,933
- What? What? What?
280
00:10:50,933 --> 00:10:52,933
What, is it your lady time?
281
00:10:52,933 --> 00:10:55,033
Oh, that damn moon!
282
00:10:55,033 --> 00:10:56,533
- No, it's not that.
283
00:10:56,533 --> 00:10:58,933
It's just ever since
you've shown me the light
284
00:10:58,933 --> 00:11:01,067
and introduced me
to the church,
285
00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:03,200
I want to respect that.
286
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,067
- Uh--
[stammers]
287
00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:07,133
What do you mean?
288
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:10,433
- Alden, I love you.
289
00:11:10,433 --> 00:11:12,300
But I don't think
we should have relations
290
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:13,733
before we get married.
291
00:11:13,733 --> 00:11:17,467
- You love me?
292
00:11:17,467 --> 00:11:18,600
- Yeah.
293
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:22,533
*
294
00:11:22,533 --> 00:11:28,267
- * The time may come
for us to part *
295
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:32,300
* But ever since the start
296
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:35,933
* You captured my whole heart
297
00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:38,700
Buddy: As if failing to save
Austin wasn't bad enough,
298
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,533
now I had to give him
the news.
299
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,700
- When you gave
the supervising judge my letter,
300
00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:44,400
what did he say?
301
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,867
- Uh, he was very impressed.
302
00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:48,067
He's gonna give it
serious consideration.
303
00:11:48,067 --> 00:11:49,733
- He said that?
304
00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:52,800
- Well, not out loud.
305
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,567
Hey, what's going on?
306
00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:56,800
- They're taking me to Murdock.
307
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,800
[somber music]
308
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,367
*
309
00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:08,400
- Come on, Landecker,
can't you just get my kid out?
310
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,067
They'll eat him alive
in Murdock.
311
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:11,367
- Sorry, he's gonna
have to sit tight
312
00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:12,833
until we nail the judge.
313
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,167
You of all people
know these ops take time.
314
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:18,100
- I gotta go.
315
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,600
- Pastor.
316
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,567
We have some big news
to share.
317
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:23,933
Show him, honeybunch.
318
00:12:23,933 --> 00:12:25,867
- We're engaged. Eeh!
319
00:12:25,867 --> 00:12:27,500
- Holy s--Schmidt.
320
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,233
That's--that's fast.
321
00:12:29,233 --> 00:12:32,333
- Well, Reverend, when you
know something is right,
322
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:33,700
why wait, huh?
323
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:36,700
Now I'm gonna go get us
a latte to celebrate,
324
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:38,633
one with a little heart
in the foam.
325
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:39,800
- [laughing] Ohh.
326
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,433
You are so adorable.
327
00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:43,967
- Oh.
328
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,267
- This is all one big con,
isn't it?
329
00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:51,167
- No, I'm madly
in love with him
330
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:53,300
because he's
so incredibly charming.
331
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:54,700
- Jesus, Ashlee.
332
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:57,133
I could see taking Schmidt
for a few bucks, but marriage?
333
00:12:57,133 --> 00:12:58,900
- Why should I keep sleeping
with guys like you
334
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,667
when I can marry him
and be set for life?
335
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,067
- Guys like me?
You mean big downstairs?
336
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:04,800
- What kinda funhouse mirror
have you been looking in?
337
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,067
- Hey, what makes you think
I'll let you do this to Schmidt?
338
00:13:08,067 --> 00:13:10,733
He's one of my favorite
300 or 400 congregants.
339
00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:12,200
- You're not gonna
say a word.
340
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,800
- Yeah, give me
one good reason why not.
341
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,667
- Because it'd be a real shame
if people found out
342
00:13:15,667 --> 00:13:19,533
their favorite gay pastor likes
banging hookers in the woods
343
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:20,733
and buying fake passports
344
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,233
and stealing watches
and fencing--
345
00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:23,333
- I said one.
346
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:24,567
- The order is in.
347
00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:26,733
Now, until I make
the formal announcement,
348
00:13:26,733 --> 00:13:29,633
not a word of this
to anyone, huh?
349
00:13:29,633 --> 00:13:30,867
- Oh, don't worry.
350
00:13:30,867 --> 00:13:32,867
I wouldn't know what word
to use anyway.
351
00:13:32,867 --> 00:13:34,633
- Well, mum.
[phone vibrates]
352
00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:35,767
- Oh!
353
00:13:35,767 --> 00:13:37,900
Excuse me, kids.
354
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,433
Alexa, what's up?
355
00:13:41,433 --> 00:13:43,633
- Just so you know, Dora found
a blonde hair in your bed.
356
00:13:43,633 --> 00:13:46,067
She was just here,
trying to match it to mine.
357
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:47,600
- Damn.
Did you deny?
358
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,100
- Well, yeah, but I don't
think she's buying it.
359
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:51,933
Maybe we should
just come clean.
360
00:13:51,933 --> 00:13:54,067
- No.
We can't tell the truth.
361
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:57,300
That's not our thing.
362
00:13:57,300 --> 00:14:00,167
Okay, here's what
I want you to do.
363
00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:01,467
- Okay.
364
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:02,633
[bell jingles]
365
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,633
[smooth rock music]
366
00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:09,500
*
367
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,267
[doorbell chimes]
368
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,400
- Judge.
369
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,267
- Is there somewhere
we can speak privately?
370
00:14:19,267 --> 00:14:22,567
- I gave some thought to what
you said in my chambers.
371
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:24,467
I believe we think alike
372
00:14:24,467 --> 00:14:26,800
when it comes
to these young miscreants.
373
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:32,100
- Right, but first let's talk
about these lowlife kids.
374
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:33,600
And how we're gonna
get 'em off the streets
375
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,767
and into jail.
376
00:14:34,767 --> 00:14:37,167
- As many as you can send me,
377
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,900
Murdock has room for them.
378
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:41,067
- Huh.
379
00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:42,567
- Is there a problem?
380
00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:44,367
- Well...
381
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:47,933
it's just that
so much of a pastor's day
382
00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:49,567
is spent fundraising.
383
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:54,067
That doesn't leave much time
for helping out law enforcement.
384
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,367
- I see.
385
00:14:58,367 --> 00:15:00,533
What if my associates
at Murdock Correctional
386
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:04,800
were to provide you with
a $1,000 per head finder's fee?
387
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,167
- A thousand dollars?
388
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,600
These are kids
we're talking about here.
389
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,933
Aren't their lives worth
at least two grand to me?
390
00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:16,767
- I'll give you $1,200.
391
00:15:16,767 --> 00:15:18,200
- Deal.
392
00:15:20,933 --> 00:15:22,400
I'll be in touch.
393
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,733
- Judge.
394
00:15:24,733 --> 00:15:28,067
[upbeat rock music]
395
00:15:28,067 --> 00:15:31,533
Did you hear that?
He offered me cash for kids.
396
00:15:31,533 --> 00:15:36,067
Boo-ya!
397
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,567
Oh, shit.
398
00:15:38,567 --> 00:15:40,200
I'd screwed up again,
399
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,900
but there was nothing
I could do till tomorrow.
400
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,933
Tonight, I had
another problem to solve.
401
00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:45,133
- Good night, Buddy.
402
00:15:45,133 --> 00:15:48,067
- Dora, could you
come up here, please?
403
00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:51,300
Come in.
404
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,600
- Oh, my, what's all this?
405
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,433
- Oh, just some stuff I've been
collecting for homeless women.
406
00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:02,233
I'm just not sure
it's sexy enough.
407
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:04,233
- [chuckles] Excuse me?
Why would it matter--
408
00:16:04,233 --> 00:16:05,700
- Think about it, Dora.
- Okay.
409
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:08,467
- Have you ever seen
a really sexy homeless woman?
410
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,700
- Uh...
411
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:12,900
- No.
412
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,567
Everyone knows
the hotter you look,
413
00:16:14,567 --> 00:16:17,133
the more likely
you are to have a home.
414
00:16:17,133 --> 00:16:20,333
So the quicker I get
these ladies looking great
415
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,067
and feeling good
about themselves,
416
00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:24,333
the quicker they'll have
a place to live.
417
00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:27,467
- I just--I don't--I'm not
so sure that it works that way.
418
00:16:27,467 --> 00:16:29,367
- Well, maybe it does,
maybe it doesn't,
419
00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:32,100
but don't we owe it to our
homeless sisters to find out?
420
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:35,100
- Well, what about
the homeless guys?
421
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,900
- Well, a lot of them
are drunks and wackos.
422
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,733
There's only so much I can do.
423
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:43,567
- Well, I may not always agree
with your methods,
424
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:46,933
but it's good to know,
as always,
425
00:16:46,933 --> 00:16:48,833
your heart is
in the right place.
426
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:50,333
- Thanks.
427
00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:55,067
By the way, I could have
sworn I had a red bra in here.
428
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:56,433
You haven't seen one, have you?
429
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:59,900
- I will keep my eyes open
for that,
430
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,633
but, oh boy, I gotta go.
But good night.
431
00:17:02,633 --> 00:17:04,067
- Night.
- Yeah.
432
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:07,067
[upbeat music]
433
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,133
*
434
00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:10,767
Alexa, it worked.
435
00:17:10,767 --> 00:17:12,700
You can come over
and get your stuff back.
436
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,333
Yes!
437
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,433
With the bra problem
off my back,
438
00:17:16,433 --> 00:17:18,867
I thought it was time
to reconnect with Alexa
439
00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:21,467
and give her a good laugh.
440
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,833
[doorbell chimes]
441
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:28,067
[high-pitched]
Well, hello.
442
00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:32,133
- One thing I never
thought I'd say to you,
443
00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:35,067
I have that same bra.
444
00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:37,067
- Clearly we both have
great taste.
445
00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:40,067
- One thing I always
knew I'd say to you,
446
00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:41,833
you're under arrest.
447
00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:44,967
[dramatic music]
448
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:51,067
- Thanks for letting me change.
449
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:52,867
- It wasn't for you.
It was for me.
450
00:17:52,867 --> 00:17:55,433
I'm still trying to get
that picture out of my brain.
451
00:17:55,433 --> 00:17:57,800
- Listen, I don't know how
many times I have to tell you.
452
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,300
I didn't kill Ray Flores.
453
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,433
- Oh, I'm not
arresting you for that.
454
00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:03,367
We know who the killer is.
455
00:18:03,367 --> 00:18:06,333
Ballistics traced it back
to a Jasmine Evans.
456
00:18:06,333 --> 00:18:08,967
Then what are you
arresting me for?
457
00:18:08,967 --> 00:18:12,700
- Remember when I gave you
this little present?
458
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,567
It's got a listening
device in it.
459
00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:19,700
Heard every sound you've made
over the past few days,
460
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:23,900
including the incessant
masturbation.
461
00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:25,533
- Uh, that's not illegal.
462
00:18:25,533 --> 00:18:28,067
- It ain't normal.
463
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:29,367
When I got a warrant for this,
464
00:18:29,367 --> 00:18:31,133
I knew you'd say
something incriminating,
465
00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:32,900
and today you did.
466
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:35,433
You're under arrest
for attempted bribery
467
00:18:35,433 --> 00:18:37,233
of a public official.
468
00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:39,467
- But I didn't--
469
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:42,933
Wait, you have the judge
and me on tape?
470
00:18:42,933 --> 00:18:44,233
- Mm-hmm.
471
00:18:44,233 --> 00:18:45,567
- [sighs]
472
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:48,567
Sheriff, I'm gonna
give you a big kiss.
473
00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:50,100
- You do, you'll get Maced.
474
00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:51,833
- Okay.
475
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:55,400
[smooth music]
476
00:18:57,367 --> 00:18:59,067
You talked to the sheriff?
477
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:00,200
- I filled her in.
478
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,300
You're good to go, Cobra.
479
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,700
- You're free to leave, Agent.
480
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,933
- Sorry I couldn't
tell you anything,
481
00:19:24,933 --> 00:19:30,233
but you understand I was
and still am deep undercover.
482
00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:32,600
- I suppose.
483
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:35,967
- Your apology is accepted.
484
00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:37,600
- I didn't apologize.
485
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,200
- Feels like you want to.
486
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,267
There it is!
487
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:46,700
You're forgiven.
488
00:19:48,533 --> 00:19:50,600
- I was wrong about you.
You came through.
489
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,533
- Oh, don't thank me.
He's the one who got you out,
490
00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:54,300
thanks to his
brilliant legal letter.
491
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,833
- Wait, really?
492
00:19:55,833 --> 00:19:58,133
- I want to be falsely modest,
but I just can't.
493
00:19:58,133 --> 00:19:59,900
Yes, it was me.
494
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:02,233
- And I wouldn't mention any
of this to Russell's brother.
495
00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:05,100
- But if you do,
remember I saved the day.
496
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:07,567
- All right.
497
00:20:07,567 --> 00:20:09,833
- Time to celebrate.
- What's the occasion?
498
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:10,933
- I talked to the sheriff.
499
00:20:10,933 --> 00:20:12,367
She's not going
after us anymore.
500
00:20:12,367 --> 00:20:13,400
We're in the clear.
501
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,267
- That's fantastic.
502
00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:17,033
Oh.
503
00:20:17,033 --> 00:20:19,533
- And I've been thinking,
504
00:20:19,533 --> 00:20:21,733
I'm not confused anymore.
505
00:20:21,733 --> 00:20:23,200
I don't know
how it's gonna work,
506
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,033
but I know I need you
in my life.
507
00:20:25,033 --> 00:20:26,600
[bell jingles]
508
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,300
I thought that would get
a better reaction.
509
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,100
- Who are you?
510
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,300
- I'm her husband.
511
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:39,867
[dramatic music]
35666
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