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1
00:00:06,767 --> 00:00:07,967
- Previously on "Impastor"...
2
00:00:07,967 --> 00:00:08,967
[gunshot]
3
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,000
- I'm leaving you
4
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,533
because I can't stand you.
5
00:00:12,533 --> 00:00:14,067
- You don't have
the balls, sparky.
6
00:00:14,067 --> 00:00:15,667
- Is that right?
7
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,900
- Buddy, Ray says you have
an hour to get him his money
8
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:18,967
or he's gonna kill me.
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00:00:18,967 --> 00:00:19,967
*
10
00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:21,100
[gunshot]
11
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:22,400
- Let's see what
kind of hooligan
12
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:23,733
we're dealing with here, huh?
13
00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:24,767
[screams]
14
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,433
- I'm tell you,
I was this close
15
00:00:29,433 --> 00:00:33,433
to crushin' his windpipe
when he bit me!
16
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:36,433
I just hope I didn't get rabies
from this cannibal.
17
00:00:36,433 --> 00:00:39,133
- Well, must be the same man
neither of us can identify
18
00:00:39,133 --> 00:00:40,267
who burned my car.
19
00:00:40,267 --> 00:00:41,600
- Moving on.
20
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,633
Uh, now that Bishop Perkins
is retiring,
21
00:00:43,633 --> 00:00:46,933
we need to make his final visit
a memorable one.
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00:00:46,933 --> 00:00:49,800
In a good way, Dora.
- Ugh.
23
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,400
Please just let it go, Alden.
24
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,833
- Let what go?
- [laughs]
25
00:00:52,833 --> 00:00:54,500
- The year was 2014.
26
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:57,233
The event: Bishop Perkins'
annual visit.
27
00:00:57,233 --> 00:00:58,667
What went wrong?
28
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,233
Everything.
29
00:01:00,233 --> 00:01:02,200
- Here we go, Bishop.
I made your favorite,
30
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,700
lemon Echinacea tea.
31
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,100
- Oh, you shouldn't have
gone to all that trouble.
32
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,600
- Oh, no, no trouble at all.
33
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,900
And be sure to help yourself to
one of my world famous
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00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:10,967
"Apple Dora's."
35
00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:12,733
- No thanks,
I never liked them.
36
00:01:12,733 --> 00:01:14,233
- What?
37
00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:15,967
- [screams]
38
00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:18,267
- [screams]
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00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:21,067
- That scalding hot water
turned his sock
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00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:22,567
into a blast furnace.
41
00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:24,400
- When he took it off,
the skin came with it.
42
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:25,933
- They say you could
hear his screams
43
00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:26,867
all the way to Pineville.
44
00:01:26,867 --> 00:01:28,267
- It was an accident, okay?
45
00:01:28,267 --> 00:01:30,833
I just had a reaction to
his utter lack of taste
46
00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:32,200
in homemade fruit pastries.
47
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,133
- The Bishop's only been back
once since then,
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00:01:34,133 --> 00:01:35,467
and Alden suggested--
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00:01:35,467 --> 00:01:37,967
- Ordered.
- That Dora keep her distance.
50
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:41,167
- But I have planned a musical
tribute for the Bishop
51
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:44,200
that is sure to redeem me
from this unfortunate
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00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,567
if not overblown incident.
53
00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:49,400
- Jeez, I don't know how any
song can make up for
54
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,200
torching his tootsies.
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00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,833
But maybe.
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00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:55,267
- Pastor, we need to make
the Bishop's final weekend
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00:01:55,267 --> 00:01:56,867
in Ladner flawless.
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00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,167
I'm counting on you
to be the perfect host.
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00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:00,500
- Me?
Pass.
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00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,067
- [chuckles]
Buddy.
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00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:04,467
The Bishop always stays with
the pastor when he's in town.
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00:02:04,467 --> 00:02:06,200
- A whole weekend?
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00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,200
There was no way he wouldn't
find out I was a fraud.
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00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,167
You know, a distinguished guest
like him shouldn't have to
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00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:12,367
deal with a roomie.
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00:02:12,367 --> 00:02:13,733
I should clear out
for a while.
67
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:15,167
- Nonsense, no.
68
00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:17,700
The Bishop said specifically,
he needs to talk to you
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00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:20,167
about some of the unorthodox
things you've been
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00:02:20,167 --> 00:02:21,167
doing around here.
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00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:23,233
- Well...
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00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:25,300
I can't wait
till he gets here.
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00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,300
'Cause if I do,
it's game over.
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00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,733
[upbeat music]
75
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:33,067
How could I possibly last
a weekend with the Bishop?
76
00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:35,733
Was it too late to pretend
I didn't speak English?
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00:02:35,733 --> 00:02:38,167
[knocks]
78
00:02:38,167 --> 00:02:39,900
- Buenos dias.
- Morning, Pastor.
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00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:43,233
I was just in the neighborhood
and thought I'd stop by.
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00:02:43,233 --> 00:02:45,833
- Well, my door is always open.
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00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,233
Evidently.
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00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:50,133
- I was hoping you could
help me with something.
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00:02:50,133 --> 00:02:51,233
Do you know this man?
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00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:52,500
*
85
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,200
- No, no I've never
seen him before.
86
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,400
Who is he?
- His name's Ray Florez.
87
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,700
Spent eight years
in prison for arson.
88
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,500
We think he's the guy
who torched your car.
89
00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,767
- Great.
Did you arrest him?
90
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:06,367
- I didn't think it was
necessary since he's dead.
91
00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:08,700
- Dead?
How?
92
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:10,767
- Cause of death hasn't been
officially determined.
93
00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:12,967
But the bullet in his chest
probably had something
94
00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:13,967
to do with it.
95
00:03:13,967 --> 00:03:15,767
- [sighs]
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00:03:15,767 --> 00:03:17,367
Poor soul.
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00:03:17,367 --> 00:03:20,300
Would you pray with me?
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00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,933
[gospel piano music]
99
00:03:22,933 --> 00:03:24,167
[hums]
100
00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:31,300
*
101
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,600
Amen.
102
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,733
- Pastor, why do you think a man
who just got out of prison
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00:03:43,733 --> 00:03:46,833
would drive across country
to threaten a church in Ladner?
104
00:03:46,833 --> 00:03:48,433
- I have no idea.
105
00:03:48,433 --> 00:03:51,333
- Well, if you think of
anything, give me a call.
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00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:53,067
- Will do.
107
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,733
Thanks, Sheriff.
- Mm-hmm.
108
00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:57,833
You know,
my daddy was a preacher.
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00:03:57,833 --> 00:04:00,900
I spent a lot of time
in pastors' studies.
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00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,167
And this is the first one
I've ever been in
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00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:06,367
that didn't have
a Bible on the desk.
112
00:04:06,367 --> 00:04:07,900
- Got it memorized.
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00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,367
- Oh, right.
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00:04:10,367 --> 00:04:13,300
- Once upon a time.
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00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,433
- Okay, you guys,
I cannot stress enough
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00:04:15,433 --> 00:04:18,467
how important it is that we send
Bishop Perkins off
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00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,633
with an amazing performance.
118
00:04:20,633 --> 00:04:24,300
- Yeah, or Dora could end up
in some real "hot water."
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00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:25,667
[all giggling]
120
00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:26,900
- Yes, Larry, we all know
you're the
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00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,500
funniest crossing guard
in Ladner.
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00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:33,500
- Okay, okay, I'll stop
"tea-zing" her.
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00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:34,900
[all giggling]
124
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,400
Ya burnt.
125
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,800
But not as bad
as the bishop's foot.
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00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,900
Oh, zing!
127
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:43,267
- Larry, I will end you.
128
00:04:43,267 --> 00:04:44,900
Okay?
I mean it.
129
00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:47,300
I will take you and I will put
you at the end of this row
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00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,133
and you will no longer
be center choir.
131
00:04:49,133 --> 00:04:52,800
- Dora, I will handle this.
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00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,133
All right, we all know this is
Dora's last chance
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00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:59,067
to make up for her humiliating
assault of the Bishop.
134
00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:00,633
So focus up!
135
00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:05,100
- Thank you, Russell.
136
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,333
- Ray's dead?
137
00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:08,200
Buddy, did you...
138
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,633
- No!
139
00:05:09,633 --> 00:05:11,233
Why would you even think that?
140
00:05:11,233 --> 00:05:12,400
Oh, because the Kenny thing.
141
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,267
- Yes, because of
the Kenny thing!
142
00:05:14,267 --> 00:05:16,467
How come every time
you save me from someone,
143
00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:17,867
they end up dead?
144
00:05:17,867 --> 00:05:21,067
- Would you rather have it
the other way around?
145
00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:23,933
- If you didn't
kill Ray, who did?
146
00:05:23,933 --> 00:05:26,167
- I have no idea.
- This isn't good.
147
00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:28,567
If the sheriff figures out that
Ray is connected to Kenny,
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00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:30,067
we could both be screwed.
149
00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:32,100
- Well, she's not gonna figure
it out as long as we
150
00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:33,100
keep our story straight.
151
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,567
- What did you tell her?
152
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:35,767
- She showed me his picture.
153
00:05:35,767 --> 00:05:37,233
I said I've never seen him
before.
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00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:38,600
That's it.
155
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,200
As long as you say the same
thing, we're good.
156
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,600
- Are you sure you're telling me
the whole truth?
157
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,133
- I swear on the Bible.
158
00:05:45,133 --> 00:05:48,867
And as your pastor, you know
that's like a big thing.
159
00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:52,400
*
160
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,067
You guys okay with lemonade?
161
00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:55,267
- Yes, that's fine.
162
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,767
Hurry it along, would you,
I want to talk to you.
163
00:05:57,767 --> 00:06:00,233
- Whatever the Bish
was gonna grill me about,
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00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:02,567
I had to be prepared.
165
00:06:02,567 --> 00:06:05,833
Gentlemen, here we go.
166
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,200
[sighs]
167
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,733
Oh, oh, oh, not that one.
168
00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:10,867
Put my thumb in it.
169
00:06:10,867 --> 00:06:12,200
Here we are.
170
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,867
Alden.
- Thank you.
171
00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:16,900
- So you're hanging up
the old Bishop's uni, huh?
172
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:18,100
- Yes.
173
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:21,533
It is time to pass
the baton to my successor.
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00:06:21,533 --> 00:06:23,967
- Well, Heinrich Steuben
is a fine man.
175
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:27,833
I'm sure he'll fill the position
with grace and dignity.
176
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:30,300
- Steuben's an ass.
- Never liked him.
177
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,333
- We need someone
to grow our church
178
00:06:32,333 --> 00:06:33,933
and lead us into the future.
179
00:06:33,933 --> 00:06:37,233
And that's why I am
recommending Pastor Barlow.
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00:06:37,233 --> 00:06:38,567
[both spit]
181
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,467
- What?
He's not qualified!
182
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:41,933
- He's right, I'm not.
183
00:06:41,933 --> 00:06:44,167
- That kind of modesty is one
of the reasons I want you.
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00:06:44,167 --> 00:06:45,967
- What other reason could you
possibly have?
185
00:06:45,967 --> 00:06:47,967
- You're young, you're
progressive,
186
00:06:47,967 --> 00:06:51,400
you've raised church attendance,
and you've increased donations.
187
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,733
- He's gay!
188
00:06:52,733 --> 00:06:55,167
- Another plus.
Thanks, Alden.
189
00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:58,600
You're the perfect man
to be the spiritual leader
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00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,633
of this region's
87 churches.
191
00:07:00,633 --> 00:07:03,233
- I could barely fool
one church,
192
00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:04,333
but 87?
193
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,933
No way.
194
00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:07,900
I'm gonna need
some more lemonade.
195
00:07:11,433 --> 00:07:15,467
*
196
00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:17,167
- Hi, Sheriff.
197
00:07:17,167 --> 00:07:18,300
Can I show you anything?
198
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:19,767
- No, I'm just browsing.
199
00:07:19,767 --> 00:07:22,533
But if you ever have
a 95% off sale, let me know.
200
00:07:22,533 --> 00:07:23,867
- [chuckles]
201
00:07:23,867 --> 00:07:25,100
- Oh, but hey,
while I'm here,
202
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,767
can you look at
something for me?
203
00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:30,300
You ever seen this guy?
204
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,833
- No.
- Hmm.
205
00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:34,567
I'm confused,
because Alden Schmidt
206
00:07:34,567 --> 00:07:37,933
told me he definitely remembers
seeing this man in your store.
207
00:07:37,933 --> 00:07:38,867
- Oh.
208
00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:40,333
Well, he's probably right.
209
00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:42,567
I get a lot of customers.
210
00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:45,067
- Yeah, I can see that.
211
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,967
I noticed you have
security cameras.
212
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,133
Do you mind if I take
a look at the tapes?
213
00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:51,067
- No, not at all.
214
00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:55,367
- Uh, now that
I have you alone,
215
00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:59,467
I'd like to talk to you about my
impending split with Hilva.
216
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:00,867
- What about it?
217
00:08:00,867 --> 00:08:02,867
- Well, I'd like you
to sanction the divorce.
218
00:08:02,867 --> 00:08:05,133
Your blessing would ensure
that my standing
219
00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:07,600
in the community
remains tip-top.
220
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:11,633
- Divorce isn't something
I or the church take lightly.
221
00:08:11,633 --> 00:08:13,933
On what ground would
I sanction it?
222
00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:15,667
- You could declare
Hilva a witch.
223
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,100
Very few would dispute it.
224
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:21,500
- Alden, the church hasn't done
that in 300 years.
225
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,633
- So there is precedent.
226
00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,100
- Hello, Bishop.
227
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:28,700
- Welcome back to Ladner
one last time.
228
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:30,067
- Thank you.
229
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,667
I'll never forget this place.
230
00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,833
My lingering limp
won't let me.
231
00:08:33,833 --> 00:08:36,067
- [laughs nervously]
232
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:37,933
- You sure won't
be easy to replace.
233
00:08:37,933 --> 00:08:40,133
- Actually, I've already
chosen a successor.
234
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:43,067
- You're not gonna believe this.
- Pastor Barlow.
235
00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:44,267
- Buddy?
236
00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:46,467
- O-M-G, he's a
Lutheran rock star!
237
00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:47,867
- Well, we really
should be going.
238
00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:49,467
We don't want to be late
for our tee time.
239
00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:53,600
That's a golf tee, not the tea
you use as a weapon.
240
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,833
- [sighs]
241
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:57,267
Buddy can't leave.
He just got here.
242
00:08:57,267 --> 00:09:01,567
- Dora, I feel if you love
someone, set him free.
243
00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:04,233
And then follow him to whatever
city he's in,
244
00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:06,367
buy a condo next door,
and persist until
245
00:09:06,367 --> 00:09:09,133
he moves in with me.
246
00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:10,567
- You gave her
the security tape?
247
00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:12,067
- I had to!
248
00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:14,133
If I didn't,
it would look too suspicious.
249
00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:17,867
Especially after I just lied to
her because you told me to.
250
00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:19,600
- Great, now she's gonna know
I lied too.
251
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,800
[knocking on door]
252
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:21,800
man: Pastor?
253
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,233
- I got to go.
254
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:26,533
Uh, just a second.
255
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,067
Come in!
256
00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:33,500
- I thought that
we could have a little--
257
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:35,900
- [coughs]
- Oh.
258
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:38,833
- You caught me smoking
marijuana.
259
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:40,400
Something that's
legal in Oregon,
260
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,833
but not very Bishop-like.
261
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,900
- Is this something
you do often?
262
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,533
- Well, not too often
for a pastor,
263
00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:51,600
but probably too often
to hold any higher office.
264
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:56,567
- Well, on this matter, I always
like to turn to Genesis.
265
00:09:56,567 --> 00:09:58,200
- Which album?
266
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,067
- Genesis 1:29.
267
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:04,767
"God gives us every seed-bearing
plant to use."
268
00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:06,833
As far as I'm concerned,
you have violated
269
00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:09,467
neither His law, nor man's.
270
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:10,900
- What a relief.
271
00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:14,000
- Listen, you know,
I get that you are hesitant
272
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,533
about this promotion,
but, uh,
273
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,933
I'd like to know why.
274
00:10:17,933 --> 00:10:20,567
- Because I don't feel
I'm worthy.
275
00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:22,033
[burps]
276
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:26,733
- You think I felt worthy?
277
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:29,433
You grow into it.
278
00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:31,267
Of course, there are downsides.
279
00:10:31,267 --> 00:10:33,933
Traveling all the time,
and you won't be able
280
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:36,167
to perform as many services
as you do now.
281
00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:37,633
- I'd miss that.
282
00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:40,933
- The perks
of this job are sick.
283
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:41,933
Ugh.
284
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,700
The Bishop's house in
Seattle--gorgeous.
285
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:49,200
I get wined and dined.
286
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,667
I play golf
three times a week.
287
00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:53,667
Concerts, trips,
sporting events--
288
00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:57,067
whatever I want,
my flock provides it.
289
00:10:57,067 --> 00:10:58,233
- [chuckles]
290
00:10:58,233 --> 00:10:59,767
It's good to be
the Bish, huh?
291
00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:03,667
- I got four speeding tickets
last year.
292
00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:06,567
Guess how many I paid?
293
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:08,100
Zilch.
294
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:12,333
Pretty hard not to speed in
a church-provided Beemer.
295
00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,733
- 5 or 7 Series?
296
00:11:13,733 --> 00:11:15,167
- Your call.
297
00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:17,667
There's only one rule
you must follow:
298
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:21,767
always put the church first.
299
00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:23,367
You do that,
and you pretty much
300
00:11:23,367 --> 00:11:26,767
can do whatever you want.
301
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:29,300
- You know what,
Your Highness?
302
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,500
I think I was born
to be a Bishop.
303
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:34,433
[grandiose organ music]
304
00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:38,400
- "Farewell, Sweet Buddy,"
take four.
305
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,933
Webster's defines "buddy"
as another word for friend,
306
00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:44,100
but you're so much
more than that.
307
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:47,467
B is for "best,"
which is what you are.
308
00:11:47,467 --> 00:11:49,433
U is for "us,"
309
00:11:49,433 --> 00:11:53,367
which now may never be.
310
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:57,400
D is for...
311
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,433
dang!
312
00:11:58,433 --> 00:12:00,400
Why can't I get through this?
313
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,233
[exhales]
314
00:12:02,233 --> 00:12:05,067
"Farewell, Sweet, Buddy,"
take five.
315
00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:08,367
[knocking]
316
00:12:10,867 --> 00:12:12,267
- Hiya.
317
00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:15,200
- Hey.
- I'm sorry to pop by so late.
318
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,767
- No problem.
What's up?
319
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:19,867
- Well, I have something that
I want to read to you.
320
00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:22,667
"My calling is to serve
and my greatest love
321
00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:24,700
is to help those in need."
322
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,900
Know who wrote that?
323
00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:28,133
- Abe Lincoln.
324
00:12:28,133 --> 00:12:30,167
Kanye.
- You.
325
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,733
In your application
for this job.
326
00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:34,300
- And I meant it.
327
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:37,167
- Then maybe
you shouldn't be Bishop.
328
00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:40,300
Buddy, my grandpa
always used to say,
329
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:42,633
"if you love baking pies,
don't go into
330
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:43,800
the pie-baking business."
331
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,633
- Was he a little...
332
00:12:45,633 --> 00:12:46,633
off?
333
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,833
- Oh, total bonkers.
334
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,633
But I think what
he was trying to say is,
335
00:12:49,633 --> 00:12:52,200
you'll be so busy doing business
stuff that you won't have time
336
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,933
for the things
that you actually love.
337
00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:55,633
Like teaching Bible study
338
00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:59,300
or counseling church members
or visiting the sick.
339
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,100
- Look, Dora,
my hands are tied.
340
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,467
It's the Bishop's call.
341
00:13:02,467 --> 00:13:04,433
And on the bright side,
most of those sick people
342
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:07,733
will be gone soon anyway,
so they won't miss me.
343
00:13:07,733 --> 00:13:09,400
- But I will.
344
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,800
- But they won't.
345
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:14,500
*
346
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:18,767
- So you're telling me this is
the same guy in both pictures?
347
00:13:18,767 --> 00:13:20,267
I don't see it.
348
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,967
- Mm-hmm?
349
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,367
So what were you two
talking about?
350
00:13:24,367 --> 00:13:26,667
- I think he came in
to ask for directions.
351
00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:29,067
- Did you talk to him
after that?
352
00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:30,267
- No, I did not.
353
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:31,833
Now, I really
have to get going--
354
00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:33,333
- Just one more question.
355
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:36,167
Can you explain
these phone records?
356
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:43,367
Huh, looks like he has
an unlimited plan.
357
00:13:43,367 --> 00:13:45,467
Still gettin' screwed
on the data, though.
358
00:13:45,467 --> 00:13:47,733
- According to this,
you spoke to Ray Florez
359
00:13:47,733 --> 00:13:49,600
three times the day
he was murdered.
360
00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:56,667
- Oh, this must be the same guy
who made the phone threats.
361
00:13:56,667 --> 00:13:58,567
Yeah, he called me
about burning the church,
362
00:13:58,567 --> 00:14:01,400
so I counseled him
to be a better Christian.
363
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,567
- And then he torched
your car.
364
00:14:03,567 --> 00:14:06,200
- I didn't say
I was good at it.
365
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:10,567
- You know, someone might think
that this was
366
00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:12,067
personal between you two.
367
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:14,100
That he pushed you too far
and you took matters
368
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,567
into your own hands.
369
00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:17,233
- Are you accusing me
of something?
370
00:14:17,233 --> 00:14:18,967
- Are you afraid I'm
accusing you of something?
371
00:14:18,967 --> 00:14:21,733
- Are you afraid I'm not afraid
of you accusing me of something?
372
00:14:21,733 --> 00:14:23,900
- Are you afr--never mind.
373
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,200
- I won.
374
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,700
- Uh, I was wondering if
you had given any thought
375
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:37,633
to my request
regarding, uh, the D word.
376
00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:39,433
- I have.
377
00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:41,633
Alden, you hold considerable
influence
378
00:14:41,633 --> 00:14:45,800
over our more conservative,
stodgy, inflexible members.
379
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,333
- Oh, thank you.
380
00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:49,100
- And I would like you to use
that influence
381
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:52,467
in backing my selection as
Pastor Barlow for Bishop.
382
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:55,200
- Gabriel, the man
is as lightweight
383
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,933
as my Members Only jacket.
384
00:14:57,933 --> 00:15:00,933
But in turn,
you would sanction my divorce?
385
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,367
- It would be
unethical for me to
386
00:15:02,367 --> 00:15:06,133
trade one for the other,
but yes.
387
00:15:06,133 --> 00:15:07,833
- Hey, sorry I'm late.
388
00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:09,433
Bishop.
Have you seen Alexa?
389
00:15:09,433 --> 00:15:11,433
- Pastor Barlow,
I just want you to know you have
390
00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:14,067
my full support for Bishop.
391
00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:15,267
- Really?
- Yeah.
392
00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:17,067
- You seemed pretty
against it yesterday.
393
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:18,367
- Changed my mind.
394
00:15:18,367 --> 00:15:20,200
Yeah, so let me know
if you need anything.
395
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,800
Anything at all.
396
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:25,967
- Well, uh, I did notice a new
set of golf clubs in your trunk.
397
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,900
- You--you want
my golf clubs?
398
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:31,300
- He wants your golf clubs,
Alden.
399
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,833
- I--I haven't used them yet.
400
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:34,967
- Oh, even better.
401
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,633
I can break 'em in.
Thanks, pal.
402
00:15:39,733 --> 00:15:41,100
Alexa, hey.
403
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:42,400
I'm outside.
Are you in the church?
404
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,967
- Hi, Mom,
I can't talk now.
405
00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:45,267
I'm here with the Sheriff.
406
00:15:45,267 --> 00:15:47,067
- I told her Ray
was asking for directions.
407
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:48,767
- No, I am not in trouble.
408
00:15:48,767 --> 00:15:50,900
I just ran into her
on the way to church.
409
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,400
Love you.
410
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:53,600
[chuckles]
411
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:56,467
- Buddy, here.
412
00:15:56,467 --> 00:15:58,133
It's everything
I want to say.
413
00:15:58,133 --> 00:16:00,267
Don't open it till
you get to your new job.
414
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,967
- Why does it smell so salty?
415
00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:05,900
- I sealed it with my tears.
416
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:07,967
And it fell into
my aquarium.
417
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:12,367
*
418
00:16:12,367 --> 00:16:15,167
- And while all human life
is precious,
419
00:16:15,167 --> 00:16:18,333
we can also be thankful
that the Lutheran hater
420
00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,367
who terrorized our church
421
00:16:20,367 --> 00:16:22,733
is no longer with us.
422
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:25,900
On a more positive note,
to close this service,
423
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:28,400
here's our musical director,
Dora Winston,
424
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,567
with a special tribute
to our beloved
425
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:32,700
Bishop Perkins.
426
00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:39,200
[organ music]
427
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,667
- I'm sorry, I just--
I need to say something.
428
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,500
- Can it wait
till after my solo?
429
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:47,533
- Bishop Perkins, I know that
you want Pastor Barlow
430
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:50,667
to succeed you and I think that
he would do a great job.
431
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:54,567
But you're making a mistake.
432
00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:58,300
I don't think you realize how
much Pastor Barlow means
433
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,867
to this congregation.
434
00:16:59,867 --> 00:17:02,867
How much better he's made
things since he's been here.
435
00:17:02,867 --> 00:17:04,700
How much we love him.
436
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,633
I know you're thinking about
what's best for the church,
437
00:17:07,633 --> 00:17:10,767
but what about what's best
for this church, huh?
438
00:17:10,767 --> 00:17:13,167
I mean, did you ever
even consider that?
439
00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:15,567
We are the ones that took
a chance on him
440
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:18,567
and he is the best thing
that ever happened to us
441
00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:20,067
and, frankly, we need him here
442
00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:23,067
and you can't just
take him away, god damn it!
443
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,567
[all gasp]
444
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:33,100
[saxophone melody]
445
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:36,433
*
446
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:41,567
- Bishop.
447
00:17:41,567 --> 00:17:42,367
Listen.
448
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:43,967
About the GD bomb...
449
00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:45,300
I'm so sorry.
450
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,300
- Oh, there's no need
to apologize.
451
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,867
Some things are beyond
your control.
452
00:17:49,867 --> 00:17:53,800
- Good, so my Bishop train's
still running on schedule?
453
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,800
- It will be as soon as
you relieve Dora
454
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:56,967
of her church duties.
455
00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:58,833
- What?
You want me to fire her?
456
00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:02,733
- Language like that cannot be
tolerated in the Lord's house.
457
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,533
As the leader of
this congregation,
458
00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:07,733
it is your responsibility
to set a strong example.
459
00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:09,633
- Bishop Perkins,
I am so sorry.
460
00:18:09,633 --> 00:18:12,367
I did not mean to take
the Lord's name in vain.
461
00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:14,133
- I tried to save it
with my sax solo,
462
00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:15,567
but that was a tall order.
463
00:18:15,567 --> 00:18:18,100
I think people liked
it though, right?
464
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,200
- Pastor?
465
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,200
[tense music]
466
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,733
*
467
00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:26,467
- I couldn't let Dora down,
468
00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:28,200
but I really needed to move
away from here.
469
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,367
Maybe I could do both.
470
00:18:29,367 --> 00:18:31,467
At times like these,
I ask myself:
471
00:18:31,467 --> 00:18:33,100
What would Jesus do?
472
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:36,067
And one thing he was known for,
I'm guessing, is forgiveness.
473
00:18:36,067 --> 00:18:39,400
So, like Jesus, I'm not only
gonna forgive Dora;
474
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:43,233
I'm gonna ask her to come with
me when I become Bishop.
475
00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:47,333
- Pastor Barlow,
I respect your decision,
476
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:49,767
but you did not
put the church first.
477
00:18:49,767 --> 00:18:51,067
- Your clubs.
478
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:53,267
- I'm sorry,
you cannot be Bishop.
479
00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:55,400
- My clubs.
480
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,500
- Bish...
481
00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:02,533
- Buddy, I'm so sorry
you don't get to be bishop,
482
00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:05,233
but I sure am glad
you're staying.
483
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:06,833
- Bring it in.
- [chuckles]
484
00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:08,900
[upbeat music]
485
00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:10,933
- I'm glad too.
486
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:12,900
Oh, I'm gonna need that
envelope back.
487
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,300
Unless, of course, you want
to keep it to truly understand
488
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:16,300
how deeply and pass--
489
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:19,067
- Here you go.
490
00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:20,367
- Thank you.
491
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:22,433
[knocking]
492
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:32,067
- The sheriff didn't buy
the "Ray was asking
493
00:19:32,067 --> 00:19:33,067
for directions" story.
494
00:19:33,067 --> 00:19:34,333
She said people always point
495
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:35,967
when they're looking
for directions.
496
00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:37,467
Why didn't you point?
497
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,067
- Because I wasn't
giving directions.
498
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:41,233
Look, she surprised me, so I had
to come up with something.
499
00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:43,433
- Yeah, well every time
you come up with something,
500
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:44,767
it makes me look like a liar.
501
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,433
- Whoa, slow down.
502
00:19:46,433 --> 00:19:48,700
Relax.
- Easy for you to say.
503
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:50,367
You weren't involved in
a bank robbery.
504
00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:51,800
- She doesn't have
anything concrete.
505
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,233
We just have to stay
the course.
506
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:54,667
- If she ties Ray to Kenny,
507
00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:58,233
it is only a matter of time
before I lose everything.
508
00:19:58,233 --> 00:19:59,700
- That's not gonna happen.
509
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:00,900
Nobody knows you're
connected to Kenny.
510
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,167
- You do.
511
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:03,733
- Well, I'm not gonna
say anything.
512
00:20:03,733 --> 00:20:05,600
- How can I trust that?
- Because I'm telling you.
513
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,233
- You have told me
a lot of things
514
00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:09,233
that I have trouble
believing.
515
00:20:09,233 --> 00:20:10,500
- Alexa--
516
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,333
- As long as you are around,
I am in danger.
517
00:20:12,333 --> 00:20:13,733
- Really?
518
00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:16,533
If I wasn't around,
you'd be dead.
519
00:20:16,533 --> 00:20:20,600
- And if I wasn't around,
you'd be dead.
520
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,400
- Really?
How's that?
521
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,433
- The woods, Buddy.
522
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,067
I could've let you
die out there.
523
00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:28,533
[tense music]
524
00:20:28,533 --> 00:20:29,767
- What are you talking about?
525
00:20:29,767 --> 00:20:32,167
- You know what
I'm talking about.
526
00:20:32,167 --> 00:20:33,733
The guy with a gun
to your head.
527
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:37,033
*
528
00:20:37,033 --> 00:20:38,767
- You shot him?
529
00:20:41,433 --> 00:20:44,633
[upbeat music]
530
00:20:44,633 --> 00:20:51,567
*
37480
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