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1
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:06,527
[ Man ] One, two! One, two, three!
2
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:38,037
[ Man ] Shatner's log: air date, unknown.
3
00:00:38,167 --> 00:00:40,256
The impossible has happened.
4
00:00:40,387 --> 00:00:44,043
It would take days
to recount the events
I've witnessed.
5
00:00:44,173 --> 00:00:46,915
So, settle in.
It all began--
6
00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:50,049
Quiet, you! This court-martial
is now in session.
7
00:00:50,179 --> 00:00:52,921
The honorably sexy
Zapp Branigan residing.
8
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,923
Bring in the accused.
9
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,406
- [ All Gasping ]
- Oh, my.
10
00:00:59,536 --> 00:01:02,323
Philip J. Fry,
you stand accused...
11
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:05,281
of traveling to the forbidden
planet Omega 3,
12
00:01:05,412 --> 00:01:08,980
a crime punishable by 12
concurrent death sentences.
13
00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:13,115
- Do you understand the charges?
- One beep for "yes,"
two beeps for "no."
14
00:01:13,246 --> 00:01:17,033
- [ Beeps Once ]
- Yes. So noted.
Do you plead guilty?
15
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:21,341
- [ Beeps Twice ]
- Double yes. Guilty!
16
00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:24,213
I will now
carry out the sentence.
Kif, my gun.
17
00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:26,173
Wait!
He pled "not guilty."
18
00:01:26,302 --> 00:01:28,349
Order!
Order in the court!
19
00:01:28,478 --> 00:01:33,527
Very well then, Mr. Fry.
Please recount the events
that led you to be guilty.
20
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:36,182
[ Rapid Beeping ]
21
00:01:41,796 --> 00:01:45,365
[ Leela ] The professor said he was taking a brief nap, so we only have time for six movies.
22
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:48,585
Let's take these
six Jim Carrey movies
and record over them!
23
00:01:48,716 --> 00:01:53,287
You know what six movies
average out to be really good?
The first six Star Trekmovies!
24
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:57,116
- [ All Gasping ]
- Everybody hit the deck!
25
00:01:57,246 --> 00:01:59,335
Shh!
Those words are forbidden.
26
00:01:59,466 --> 00:02:02,121
- What words? Star Trek?
- [ Alarm Sounding ]
27
00:02:02,251 --> 00:02:04,819
Shh!Shut your gills!
28
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:08,215
[ Siren Wailing ]That sound. It's
patrol car 718! Hide him!
29
00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:15,134
♪♪ [ Scatting ]
30
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:18,138
[ Rapid Beeping ]
31
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,139
The court is intrigued.
32
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,925
Perhaps we could hear more
about these forbidden words...
33
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:26,623
from someone with
a sexily seductive voice.
34
00:02:26,754 --> 00:02:30,846
With pleasure. You see,
the show was banned
after theStar Trek wars.
35
00:02:30,975 --> 00:02:33,283
You mean the vast migration
of Star Warsfans?
36
00:02:33,413 --> 00:02:36,025
Uh, no. That was
the Star Warstrek.
37
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,855
By the 23rd century,
Star Trekfandom...
38
00:02:40,985 --> 00:02:45,295
had evolved from a loose
association of nerds
with skin problems...
39
00:02:45,425 --> 00:02:47,819
into a full-blown religion.
40
00:02:47,949 --> 00:02:50,822
And Scotty beamed them
to the Klingon ship...
41
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:53,173
where they would
be no Tribble at all.
42
00:02:53,302 --> 00:02:56,393
All power
to the engines.
43
00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:59,179
[ Nichelle Nichols ] As country after country fell under its influence,
44
00:02:59,308 --> 00:03:02,920
world leaders became threatened by the movement's power.
45
00:03:03,051 --> 00:03:05,228
And so the Trekkies were executed...
46
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,925
in the manner most befitting virgins.
47
00:03:08,056 --> 00:03:10,233
Whoa!He's dead, Jim.
48
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:13,889
He's dead, Jim.
He's dead, Jim.
49
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,978
Finally, the sacred texts were banned.
50
00:03:18,545 --> 00:03:22,462
[ George Takei ] The last copies of the 79 episodes and six movies...
51
00:03:22,592 --> 00:03:26,336
were dumped on the forbidden world Omega 3,
52
00:03:26,466 --> 00:03:30,949
along with that blooper reel where the door doesn't close all the way.
53
00:03:31,079 --> 00:03:34,343
Thus, Star Trekwas forever
scoured from human memory.
54
00:03:34,474 --> 00:03:38,435
Another classic
science-fiction show
canceled before its time.
55
00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:41,307
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
I've never heard
of such a brutal...
56
00:03:41,437 --> 00:03:44,441
and shocking injustice
that I cared so little about.
57
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:48,444
Next witness!Bender the Robot,
please take the stand.
58
00:03:49,706 --> 00:03:52,536
She's all yours, buddy.
59
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:55,408
I'd only met
the defendant, Fry, once,
60
00:03:55,538 --> 00:03:57,540
but I knew
he was up to no good.
61
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:00,413
- Please use the beeps.
- Oh!
62
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,415
[ Rapid Beeping ]
63
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:08,770
Mr. Nimoy! I came as soon
as I heard what happened
centuries ago.
64
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,771
I can't believe
your show was banned.
65
00:04:10,901 --> 00:04:14,210
I have absolutely
no idea what
you're talking about.
66
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,255
[ Clicking, Whirring ]
67
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:19,214
You know-- 1966?
68
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,783
Seventy-nine episodes?
About 30 good ones?
69
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:26,177
Oh, really. I've done
too many things to remember
one particular TV series.
70
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,355
But if-if you want to
discuss my books of poetry--
71
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:32,358
Come on! Remember that episode
where you got high on spores
and smacked Kirk around?
72
00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:37,014
No. Perhaps you're thinking
of my one-man show
about Vincent van Spock.
73
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,452
I-I-I mean van Gogh.
Damn!
74
00:04:39,582 --> 00:04:41,367
Aha!
You can't escape it.
75
00:04:41,497 --> 00:04:44,500
[ Sobbing ]
Oh, you're right.
76
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,807
I can't.
77
00:04:46,937 --> 00:04:49,985
Uh--
Geez, don't get upset.
78
00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:52,204
I mean, okay,
I outwitted you, but--
79
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,206
No. It's my
fellow cast members.
80
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:58,776
Three hundred years ago,
they left Earth behind.
81
00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:05,565
This planet doesn't
appreciate us anymore, Leonard.
82
00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:10,266
Bill, you are,
and always shall be,
my friend.
83
00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:13,007
But I just signed
a six-month lease
on my apartment.
84
00:05:13,137 --> 00:05:15,358
I can't walk away from
a commitment like that.
85
00:05:15,488 --> 00:05:18,100
Farewell, my friend.
86
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:20,449
Oh!
87
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:31,809
[ Sobbing ]
Why did the world turn its back
on our obvious greatness?
88
00:05:31,939 --> 00:05:34,420
I'm literally
angry with rage!
89
00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:36,423
Your costars may be gone,
90
00:05:36,552 --> 00:05:39,555
but we can still get
those episode tapes back
for the whole world to see!
91
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,557
Come on![ Groans ]
92
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,430
Yes! Front row!
93
00:05:48,521 --> 00:05:51,002
You can't go to Omega 3!
94
00:05:51,132 --> 00:05:53,221
It's forbidden!
I forbid you!
95
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,834
But we have to! The world
needs Star Trekto give
people hope for the future!
96
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:59,446
But it's set 800 years
in the past.
97
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,360
Yeah! Why is this
so important to you?
98
00:06:01,490 --> 00:06:03,449
'Cause it--
it taught me so much.
99
00:06:03,579 --> 00:06:05,581
Like how you should
accept people,
100
00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:09,934
whether they be black,
white, Klingon,
or even female.
101
00:06:10,064 --> 00:06:13,502
But most importantly,
when I didn't have
any friends,
102
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:15,678
it-it made me feel
like maybe I did.
103
00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:19,334
Well, that is
touchingly pathetic.
104
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,250
I guess I can't
let you go alone.
105
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:25,601
I'll go too--
with Leonard's permission,
of course.
106
00:06:29,692 --> 00:06:32,173
We're entering
the Omega system. [ Alarm Sounds ]
107
00:06:32,303 --> 00:06:35,307
[ Female Voice ]
Warning. You are now
in forbidden space.
108
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,396
Forbidden, schur-schmidden.
109
00:06:37,526 --> 00:06:39,180
What are they gonna do,
write a letter?
110
00:06:39,310 --> 00:06:41,401
Ooh, I'm so scared.
111
00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,314
[ Alarm Sounding ]I've lost control of the ship!
112
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,665
[ Babbling ]
Lost control of the ship!
113
00:06:58,591 --> 00:07:01,115
[ Gasps ]Oh, dip!
114
00:07:01,245 --> 00:07:02,987
Dip, indeed.
115
00:07:08,557 --> 00:07:10,733
[ Fry ] It's all stuff from that forbidden show.
116
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:14,608
So many cardboard sets.
So many memories.
117
00:07:14,737 --> 00:07:16,957
If only the others-- [ William Shatner ] I guess that's my cue.
118
00:07:18,915 --> 00:07:21,091
- Bill!
- L-Dog!
119
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:23,312
Hey!
This is wonderful!Oh, man.
120
00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:27,011
I feel like hugging you.Well, I would,
except you have no body.
121
00:07:27,141 --> 00:07:29,971
And we're both men.
122
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:33,452
[ Nimoy ]
Nichelle! George!
Walter!
123
00:07:33,582 --> 00:07:35,759
DeForrest!
Welshie!
124
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:40,590
- Welshie?
- We did some musical reunion
specials in the 2200s.
125
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,245
But the guy who played Scotty
had trouble yodeling.
126
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:46,682
Ever since then,
Welshie has been
a welcome participant...
127
00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:48,468
in our escapades.
128
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,730
Aye!
[ Speaking Gibberish ]
129
00:07:50,860 --> 00:07:53,603
I can't believe it!
How'd you all end up here?
130
00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:57,564
We were on our way
to Welshie's cousin's house
to stay in the guest room...
131
00:07:57,694 --> 00:08:02,045
when our ship was pulled down
to this planet and crashed,
just like yours.
132
00:08:03,569 --> 00:08:05,180
When we woke up,
we had these bodies.
133
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,922
- Say it in Russian.
- [ Groans ]
134
00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:10,968
Ven vee voke up,
vee had these wah-dies.
135
00:08:11,098 --> 00:08:13,362
Eee!
Now say nuclear "wessels"!
136
00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:15,581
- No!
- We love it here.
137
00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:18,497
Everything is provided for us,
and we never age.
138
00:08:18,627 --> 00:08:20,586
Check out these abs.
139
00:08:20,716 --> 00:08:23,632
Yowza!But who's doing
all this for you?
140
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:26,505
You know,
we never thought about it.
We're famous celebrities.
141
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:29,987
We're used to
this sort of treatment. [ Male Voice ] It is I!
142
00:08:30,117 --> 00:08:33,600
- [ All Gasping ]
- Whoa!
What a cheesy effect!
143
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,951
I'm not an effect!
You doubt my power?
144
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:39,301
I do!
145
00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:41,782
Aye![ All Gasping ]
146
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:45,873
[ Maniacal Laughing ]Welshie!
147
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:57,580
This court will now hear some
very sensual testimony...
148
00:08:57,711 --> 00:09:00,539
from this court's ex-lover,
Turanga Leela.
149
00:09:00,669 --> 00:09:02,672
Go [ Beep ] yourself.
150
00:09:02,802 --> 00:09:04,760
[ Rapid Beeping ]
151
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:06,807
Behold another power,
152
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:10,331
different from
the one you saw earlier!
153
00:09:13,116 --> 00:09:16,773
Hey! A body!
Buff, tan--
154
00:09:16,903 --> 00:09:18,905
Yeah.
This is mine, all right.
155
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:20,777
All right, you gas.
What's the deal?
156
00:09:20,908 --> 00:09:25,782
Centuries ago,
the videotaped adventures
of the Enterprisecrew...
157
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,741
rained down upon my planet.
158
00:09:28,871 --> 00:09:31,004
Over and over
I watched them,
159
00:09:31,134 --> 00:09:33,746
especially the five
with the energy beings.
160
00:09:33,876 --> 00:09:38,620
I am Melllvar!
Seer of the Tapes!
Knower of the Episodes!
161
00:09:38,751 --> 00:09:42,625
Tremble before my encyclopedic
knowledge of Star Trek!
162
00:09:42,755 --> 00:09:44,626
Tremble? I laugh.
163
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:48,543
- Nobody knows more
about Star Trekthan me!
- I beg to differ!
164
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:53,679
Long have I waited
for the one who played Spock.
165
00:09:53,809 --> 00:09:56,769
At last we can begin.
166
00:09:57,683 --> 00:10:00,337
Cool!
A Star Trekconvention!
167
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:02,688
Uh-- Uh, Melllvar?
Can you give us some idea...
168
00:10:02,818 --> 00:10:04,691
how long
this is going to last?
169
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,823
- Until time stops.
- What?
- You can't do this!
170
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:10,347
Now, we have
a full schedule of events.
171
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:13,700
Uh, can people who hate Star Trek
leave?Good question.
172
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:17,616
- No. You have to stay
even longer!
- [ Both Grumbling ]
173
00:10:17,746 --> 00:10:19,793
[ Snoring ]
174
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,751
Um-- Uh--
Sign it to Melllvar.
175
00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:24,798
Melllvar has three "L's".
176
00:10:24,927 --> 00:10:28,889
I think I've done
enough conventions to
know how to spell Melllvar.
177
00:10:30,716 --> 00:10:34,371
- Say "nerd"!
- Nerd!
178
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:37,071
I'm Slim Shady.
179
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:39,595
Yes.
I'm the real Shady.
180
00:10:39,725 --> 00:10:43,424
All you other Slim Shadys
are just imitating.
181
00:10:43,554 --> 00:10:47,777
So, won't the real Slim Shady
please stand up?
182
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:50,345
Please stand up.
Please stand up.
183
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:53,653
How can you do
a spoken-word version
of a rap song?
184
00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:55,654
He found a way.
185
00:10:55,784 --> 00:11:00,659
For 100 quatloos,
who did the captain maroon
on Ceti Alpha Five?
186
00:11:00,789 --> 00:11:02,662
Khan!
187
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,750
[ Bell Dings ]Uh, Khan?
188
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,578
- Correct!
- My button has broken!
189
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:10,799
The trivia contest
is ended. I now
have a surprise.
190
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:13,455
You will perform
a fan script...
191
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:15,674
written by
the ultimate Trekfan!
192
00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:20,114
You have my fan script?I meant me! Melllvar's
the ultimate fan!
193
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:23,595
Oh. I was confused
because the scoreboard
says something different.
194
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:26,686
[ Grumbling ]
Trivia contest over!
Take your scripts!
195
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:29,644
We have limited rehearsal time.
196
00:11:29,775 --> 00:11:31,908
Now, I didn't make enough
copies of the script,
197
00:11:32,038 --> 00:11:35,172
so George and Walter
will have to share.
198
00:11:35,302 --> 00:11:40,047
Uh-- You probably don't
want us to see you rehearsing,
or it'll give away the ending.
199
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:42,831
That's right!
The ending must not
be ruined!
200
00:11:42,962 --> 00:11:44,659
- We'll go wait in the ship.
- Okay.
201
00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:47,489
Not till I get
my 600 quatloos!
202
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:53,451
This is wrong.
We shouldn't have
abandoned them there.
203
00:11:53,581 --> 00:11:55,584
I don't know.
I'm feelin' pretty good
about it.
204
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,979
I didn't want to leave them
either, Fry. But what
were we supposed to do?
205
00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:02,721
Well, usually on the show,
someone would come up
with a complicated plan,
206
00:12:02,851 --> 00:12:04,724
then explain it
with a simple analogy.
207
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:08,857
Hmm. If we can reroute
engine power through
the primary weapons...
208
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:11,687
and reconfigure them
to Melllvar's frequency,
209
00:12:11,817 --> 00:12:14,037
that should overload
his electro-quantum structure.
210
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,518
Like putting too much air
in a balloon!
211
00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:18,912
Of course!
It's so simple!
212
00:12:22,044 --> 00:12:25,875
"Alas, my ship,
whom I love
like a woman,
213
00:12:26,005 --> 00:12:27,876
is... disabled."
214
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:31,272
- Oh, Lord.
- "Fascinating, Captain.
215
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:34,014
And logical too.
Yet we need some help."
216
00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:37,712
"Look, Captain.
Melllvar will help us."
217
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:44,459
"Captain, I wope he will
welp our vessel."
218
00:12:44,588 --> 00:12:46,200
- Wessel!
- [ Shuddering ]
219
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:50,682
- You're not acting hard enough!
- Melllvar, you have to
respect your actors.
220
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:53,860
When I directed Star Trek IV,
I got a magnificent performance
out of Bill...
221
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,861
because I respected him
so much.
222
00:12:55,991 --> 00:12:57,864
And when I directed
Star Trek V,
223
00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:01,998
I got a magnificent performance
out of me because
I respected me so much.
224
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:09,265
Okay! I'm done "recafoobelling"
the energy-motron!
225
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,268
Or whatever!
226
00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:13,488
Fire!
227
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:21,495
"My, what a handsome
energy creature you are.
228
00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:23,976
I love you."
229
00:13:24,106 --> 00:13:27,283
[ Screaming ]Hey, you wrote it!
230
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:34,378
[ Groans ]
231
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:37,293
It's not working!
He's drawing strength
from our weapons!
232
00:13:37,424 --> 00:13:39,818
Like a balloon, and...
something bad happens!
233
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,256
[ Shouting ]
234
00:13:43,386 --> 00:13:46,042
[ Both Screaming ]
235
00:13:57,357 --> 00:14:00,317
[ Bender ]
Yep.
236
00:14:00,447 --> 00:14:02,624
So, uh,
how's rehearsal going?
237
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:06,846
Lousy. Here I've been
admiring a bunch of actors,
while you,
238
00:14:06,975 --> 00:14:10,850
a crew of genuine
space heroes, risked
your lives to save them.
239
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,113
Hey, we've done
heroic things too.
240
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:15,855
Yeah.
In the third season,
I kissed Shatner.
241
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:19,509
Silence! My whole world
has turned upside down.
242
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,511
I have but one option.
243
00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:23,950
- Keep them and let us go?
- No!
244
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,649
To determine who is more worthy
of my fanatical devotion,
245
00:14:27,778 --> 00:14:32,219
I shall pit you against
each other in armed combat...
to the death!
246
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:36,222
Where'd you get
an idiotic idea like that?
247
00:14:36,352 --> 00:14:40,009
Episodes 19, 46,
56 and 77!
248
00:14:40,139 --> 00:14:44,927
Great list.
Except you forgot episode 66.
[ Chuckling ]
249
00:14:45,057 --> 00:14:47,581
[ Stammering ]
I was getting to that one!
250
00:14:47,711 --> 00:14:49,889
[ Shouting ]
251
00:14:57,808 --> 00:15:00,682
So Melllvar ordered
a battle to the death.
252
00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:03,250
- I assume no one survived?
- [ Sighs ]
253
00:15:03,379 --> 00:15:06,121
Can we get on with this?
My foot's getting tired.
254
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:08,081
[ Beeping ]
255
00:15:09,211 --> 00:15:12,128
This will be your standard
battle to the death.
256
00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:15,349
The only weapons--
whatever you can find.
257
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:17,654
But I warn you.
Do nothing...
258
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:20,267
until I have signaled
the start of combat.
259
00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:24,009
Okay, start.[ All Gasping, Shouting ]
260
00:15:24,139 --> 00:15:26,403
[ Wind Howling ]
261
00:15:30,885 --> 00:15:34,106
I don't have much
experience at fighting,
except with you guys.
262
00:15:34,236 --> 00:15:37,457
I have an idea.
Wasn't there an episode where
I threw my shoe at the enemy?
263
00:15:37,587 --> 00:15:40,677
- You mean Doohan?
- [ Both Chuckling ]
264
00:15:40,808 --> 00:15:43,419
Whoever it was,
I did it like this.
Yaah!
265
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:47,120
- Ow!
- My foot's cold.
266
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:50,861
There. We can
make these into spears.
267
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:54,605
And we can tie these
caterpillars together to make
bow strings for bows and arrows.
268
00:15:54,735 --> 00:15:56,912
And we can use this machine gun
to shoot them!
269
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,219
Yee-haw!
270
00:16:04,049 --> 00:16:06,052
[ Clicking ]
271
00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:08,836
[ Laughing ]
That was fun.
272
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:13,972
What if I distract them
with my famous fan dance?
273
00:16:14,102 --> 00:16:16,149
Oh, that's good,
good, good, good.
And then, George,
274
00:16:16,278 --> 00:16:19,543
you give them
a karate chop.I find that offensive.
275
00:16:19,673 --> 00:16:24,504
Just because
I'm of Japanese ancestry,
you assume I know karate.
276
00:16:24,634 --> 00:16:28,291
Have I ever
led you to believe
I have studied karate?
277
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,990
Well, no.
But you never talk
about yourself.
278
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,644
Maybe if you showed
a little interest.
279
00:16:34,775 --> 00:16:36,647
Well, here goes nothing.
280
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:40,216
[ Screaming ]
281
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,004
Hello, boys.
282
00:16:48,136 --> 00:16:50,573
Whoa!
283
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:53,011
Hyah![ Shouting ]
284
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,231
Aah![ Gasps ]
285
00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:59,495
- There's no right way
to hit a woman.
- Then do it the wrong way.
286
00:16:59,626 --> 00:17:03,022
Fine.
Yeee-oh-ho!
287
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:06,676
- Is that all you got? Hyah!
- [ Groaning ]
288
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:18,819
Come on, Walter!Take that!
289
00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:23,606
[ Whooping ][ Groaning ]
It hurts.
290
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:27,133
Let's see if this
actually works.
[ Grunts ]
291
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,180
Ow! Ow! Ow!Aah! My face!
292
00:17:31,310 --> 00:17:33,095
[ Groans ]
My face too!
293
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,055
May I?
294
00:17:36,184 --> 00:17:38,057
- Hyah!
- [ Groans ]
295
00:17:40,232 --> 00:17:43,497
Excellent.
Excellent.
296
00:17:43,626 --> 00:17:47,153
Leela, please.
This is exactly
what Melllvar wants.
297
00:17:47,282 --> 00:17:50,416
We're just pawns in his diabolical game of checkers.
298
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:53,420
Can't we resolve
our differences
some other way?
299
00:17:53,549 --> 00:17:56,814
Melllvar!
Dinnertime!
300
00:17:56,944 --> 00:18:00,209
Aw, but, Mom!
I'm playin' with
my collectibles!
301
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:03,733
Now![ Groans ]
302
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:07,215
All this time,
we thought he was
a powerful super-being.
303
00:18:07,346 --> 00:18:12,307
- Yet he was just a child.
- He's not a child! He's 34!
304
00:18:13,743 --> 00:18:17,226
All right, Koenig!
I've wanted to do this
for years!
305
00:18:17,356 --> 00:18:21,143
Bender, wait!
This is our chance to escape
before Melllvar comes back!
306
00:18:21,273 --> 00:18:23,840
But we all need
to work together.
307
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:30,457
I love you so much.[ Nimoy Clears Throat ]
Hello.
308
00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:33,547
We've decided
to work together.Yeah, so did they.
309
00:18:33,676 --> 00:18:35,983
Now, how do we escape?
310
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,986
We can't use our ship.
311
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:40,249
We have life support,
but the engines are wrecked.
312
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:45,124
Ironic, because
our engines work, but our
life support systems don't.
313
00:18:45,253 --> 00:18:49,301
Hey. If your engines work--And your
life support systems work--
314
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,433
Stop! You're just
goin' around in circles!
315
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:54,828
Think, Fry. Think.
Everyone's depending on you.
316
00:19:03,445 --> 00:19:07,276
We're too heavy!
You guys need to
lose some weight. Fast!
317
00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:13,847
Fish.
318
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:16,415
Look! Leonard!
We're light enough
to keep the tapes!
319
00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:20,028
Isn't that great?I'm living in
a gefilte fish jar.
320
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,250
We did it![ All Cheering ]
321
00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:30,820
[ Melllvar Chuckling Evilly ]
322
00:19:30,951 --> 00:19:34,390
- [ All Shouting ]
- Melllvar's got a spaceship!
323
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,609
Yes!
In mint condition!
324
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:39,177
And you made me take it
out of the package!
325
00:19:45,705 --> 00:19:48,273
The Nimbus!
We're saved!
326
00:19:48,403 --> 00:19:52,278
You're under arrest.
Prepare to be boarded.
327
00:19:52,407 --> 00:19:55,063
So I boarded you, huh?
Uh, what happened next?
328
00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:57,282
You started this stupid
court-martial!
329
00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:59,546
Now if you don't mind,
we're still fighting
Melllvar.
330
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,115
[ All Panting ]
331
00:20:10,338 --> 00:20:13,211
- [ All Gasping ]
- One more hit,
and we're done for!
332
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:16,650
Let's take him out with us.
Do you guys have
a self-destruct code?
333
00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:21,220
Like destruct sequence
1-A, 2-B, 3--
334
00:20:21,349 --> 00:20:24,309
Thanks a lot, Takei!
Now everybody knows!
335
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:28,749
If I can't have the original
cast of Star Trek,
no one will!
336
00:20:28,878 --> 00:20:30,750
Prepare to die!
337
00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:33,797
Wait! If they mean
that much to you,
why do you want to kill them?
338
00:20:33,927 --> 00:20:36,583
Because I-- I--
339
00:20:36,712 --> 00:20:38,801
I don't know what I'd do
without them.
340
00:20:38,932 --> 00:20:42,371
Melllvar, you can't
let a TV show
be your whole life.
341
00:20:42,501 --> 00:20:45,200
You can do anything you want.
Look at Walter Koenig.
342
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:47,246
After Star Trek,
he became an actor.
343
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:50,423
Not just an actor
but a well-rounded person...
344
00:20:50,552 --> 00:20:53,251
with my own friends
and credit cards and keys.
345
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:57,430
Well, I...
guess I could move out
of my parents' basement.
346
00:20:57,559 --> 00:21:00,606
- Maybe get a temp job.
- Whoa, whoa.
One step at a time.
347
00:21:00,737 --> 00:21:02,782
I thank you, Fry.
348
00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,567
You know, you and I
are of a kind.
349
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:09,310
In a different reality,
I could have called you...
friend.
350
00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:12,270
Episode 10.
"Balance of Terror."
351
00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:14,576
More like episode nine,
loser!
352
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:17,231
In your face!
Victory is mine!
353
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:19,320
[ Taunting Laughter ]
354
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,498
I wonder, my friends.
355
00:21:22,628 --> 00:21:25,284
Was he really such
an evil energy gas?
356
00:21:25,413 --> 00:21:27,763
He did give us
eternal youth.
357
00:21:27,894 --> 00:21:29,766
Twenty-four hour
Laundromat.
358
00:21:29,896 --> 00:21:33,988
A full assortment of rum,
both spiced and regular.
359
00:21:34,117 --> 00:21:36,250
Truly,
it was a paradise.
360
00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:40,429
And all you had
to put up with was one
really annoying Star Trekfan.
361
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,432
Let's get the hell
out of here.
29099
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