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1
00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:06,373
[ Man ]
One, two! One, two, three!
2
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:36,804
In what has become a winter
tradition, members of the
Zarlon Seven Polar Bear Club...
3
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:40,039
today took the plunge
into a river of liquid ammonia.
4
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,542
[ Cheering ]
5
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,813
There were no survivors.
6
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:49,048
[ Laughs ]
Takes all kinds.
7
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:51,719
And now with
his annual Xmas message,
8
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,322
here's the head of
the Xmas Safety Council,
9
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,323
the head of Walter Cronkite.
10
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:59,159
Season's warnings,
Linda and Morbo.
11
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:02,329
This guy's too trustworthy.
What's his angle?
12
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:06,167
In all the tinsel and terror
of the holiday season,
13
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:09,602
we too often underestimate
that murderous brute...
14
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,971
better known as Santa Claus.
15
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,308
With images of last year's
Gingerbread Massacre...
16
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,844
freshly baked
into our memories,
17
00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:21,349
I remind you
to bolt your doors,
18
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:25,186
say good-bye to your pets
and lock your children
in the closet.
19
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:29,289
This is Walter Cronkite
saying "I told you so."
20
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,859
[ Hammering ]
21
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,829
Sacred boar of Western
and Eastern Samoa,
22
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,865
we got to secure
for Santa's arrival.
23
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:41,634
[ Signal Pulsing ]
Just as well. I'm getting
tired of this wood show.
24
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:43,971
[ All Grunting ]
25
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:46,439
Cover that fireplace,
confound you!
26
00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:50,177
I've only a few years to live.
I don't want to spend them dead.
27
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,846
We're pushing as hard
as we can.
28
00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:54,847
Oh, pushing!
29
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,849
Aah! Oh!
30
00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,188
Oh, we're doomed!
Every year we're doomed.
31
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:04,391
Thanks be I had these
bulletproof shutters installed.
[ Beeping ]
32
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,663
Whoa! Aah!
33
00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:13,734
** [ "Deck The Halls" ]
34
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:18,338
Bring it on, Santa!
That bloodthirsty cadaver
junkie can't touch us...
35
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:21,341
as long as we're
not stupid enough
to leave this building.
36
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,644
All right!
Uh-huh!
37
00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:27,814
In a related matter,
you'll be delivering this
sack of children's letters...
38
00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:31,651
directly to Santa at
his death fortress on Neptune.
39
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,691
[ Engine Laboring ]
40
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:47,033
These letters are
real butt nutters.
Listen to this one.
41
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:51,372
-"Dear Santa--"
-[ Girl's Voice ] Please, please
don't bring me any gifts.
42
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:54,508
The bicycle you fired
at me last year
from your bicycle gun...
43
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,710
really tore up
my insides.
44
00:02:56,810 --> 00:03:00,514
Awful. Let's read some more.
"Dear Santa--"
45
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,949
[ Boy's Voice ]
Please bring me
a coffin for Grandpa.
46
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,453
You choked him with
a chestnut last year,
47
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:09,689
and he's beginning
to smell a lot like Xmas,
if you know what I mean.
48
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:11,692
[ Chair Creaking ]
49
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,693
It's not fair!
50
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,629
In my day, Xmas was supposed
to bring people together,
not blow them apart.
51
00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:19,233
Sure, but who's gonna do
anything about it?
52
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:23,135
Certainly not us.
No, sir.
Certainly yes us. Uh-huh, sir.
53
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:26,407
We've gotta bring back
the kind of Xmas I remember.
54
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:31,044
Fry's right.
It's time to sit
on Santa's lap, and hard.
55
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:40,086
[ Machine Gun Fire ]
[ Dog Barking ]
56
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:49,062
Oh, look. A cute
little welcoming party.
57
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,501
[ Coughing ]
Hey, wanna buy
a tiny little kidney?
58
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,502
I'll let you punch me
for a buck.
59
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:59,072
Look. We've got mail for Santa.
Are you his elves?
60
00:03:59,171 --> 00:04:01,140
We're not elves.
We're Neptunians.
61
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,311
We're just shrimpy
because he doesn't feed us.
62
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:06,447
You hit me.
You owe me a dollar.
63
00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,981
[ Dogs Growling ]
Aah! Aah!
64
00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:11,818
[ Grunting, Muttering ]
65
00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,455
Help. You got
any food?
66
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:18,125
Old tea bags, chewed gum,
apple cores?
67
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,127
Come on!
We're starving here!
68
00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:24,163
-But you live
in a gingerbread house.
-It's food or shelter, not both.
69
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:28,035
You lazy runts.
Don't you get paid
for making the toys?
70
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,870
- Who said "toys"?
- Toys? Someone said "toys"?
71
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,872
False alarm, folks.
72
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:36,310
There's no reason to make toys,
since Santa judges everyone
to be naughty.
73
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:42,882
That's it. I'm gonna deliver
a gift of my boot up Santa's
chimney. Where is he?
74
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,619
There, in his ice fortress.
75
00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:50,524
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
76
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,225
We'll need help getting in.
Any volunteers?
77
00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,300
I'll help you.
Aw, phooey.
78
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:13,480
** [ Barking "Jingle Bells" ]
79
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,985
[ Squawks ]
80
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,154
An omen?
Dinner.
81
00:05:22,254 --> 00:05:25,858
[ Thunderclap ]
82
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,362
[ Sinister Laughter ]
83
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:30,363
Let's see
who's been naughty...
84
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,033
and who's been naughty.
85
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:35,034
Oh! Oh! Oh!
86
00:05:35,134 --> 00:05:38,738
Mobsters beating up a shopkeeper
for protection money.
87
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,941
Very naughty.
88
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:45,045
[ Groaning ]
Shopkeepers not paying
their protection money.
89
00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:47,514
Exactly as naughty!
90
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,284
I saw that!
91
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,353
Huh?
92
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:58,024
- We brought you mail.
- Don't you ever knock?
93
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:01,228
Who knows what naughty things
I could be watching?
94
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:04,764
- I get New Orleans
on this thing, you know.
- Don't kill us!
95
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,702
Santa's a robot.
So we should be able
to destroy him...
96
00:06:09,802 --> 00:06:11,738
with a logical
paradox.
97
00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:13,973
Bender, you better
cover your ears.
98
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,144
Holy night! Intruders!
99
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:22,882
Hold it, Santa.
[ Humming ]
100
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:26,819
Consider this:
You are programmed
to destroy the naughty.
101
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,889
But many of those you destroy
are, in fact, nice.
102
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,560
I submit to you
that you are naughty...
103
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:35,394
and that, logically,
you must destroy yourself.
104
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:38,932
[ Gibbering ]
105
00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:42,002
Yea!
[ Laughing ]
Yea!
106
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,838
Nice try,
but my head was built...
107
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:49,341
with paradox-absorbing
crumple zones.
108
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:51,343
Aah!
Aah!
109
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,980
[ Humming, Yelling ]
110
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,249
[ All Screaming ]
111
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:05,526
[ Beeping ]
112
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:08,995
- [ Bender Yelling ]
- [ Screaming ]
113
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:14,334
Wait. This is what
we're running from.
114
00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:21,007
Faster! Faster!
115
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,511
Whoa! Oh!
Aah!
116
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,314
Aah!
Aah!
117
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,550
[ Screaming ]
118
00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:34,321
[ All Screaming ]
119
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,725
[ Screaming Continues ]
120
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:41,161
Oof!
[ Blubbering ]
121
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,497
[ Engine Starting ]
122
00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:46,533
[ Rockets Firing ]
Why aren't we moving?
123
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:51,004
I don't know.
Usually when I do stuff
like this, the ship moves.
124
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,744
Ho, ho-- Huh?
125
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,016
[ Grumbling ]
126
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,353
[ Grunting ]
127
00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:09,055
He's trapped!
[ All ]
Hooray!
128
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:15,495
- Now we can make toys again.
- [ All ] Toys! Toys! Toys!
129
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:19,231
And I can deliver them.
Billions and billions
in one night.
130
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:22,002
Ha! No human
could do all that.
131
00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:24,672
- Evel Knievel could.
- Nuh-uh!
132
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:27,406
Santa's right.
We need some sort of robot.
133
00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:32,345
Aw, crap!
I'm some sort of robot.
134
00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:35,716
[ Neptunians ]
Hooray!
135
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,684
Hooray!
136
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:40,019
Hooray!
Ooh!
137
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,025
Bender can't be Santa.
138
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,395
He wasn't built to
Yuletide specifications.
139
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:53,933
Oh, yeah? Well, I wasn't built
to steal Leela's purse either,
but that didn't stop me.
140
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:57,971
Bender!
Bow before your new Santa!
141
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,072
[ Neptunians ]
Our hero!
142
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,542
[ Bells Jingling ]
* We are free
and fairly sober *
143
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,543
* With so many toys
to build *
144
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,947
* The machines
are kinda tricky *
145
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,948
* Probably someone
will be killed *
146
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,150
* But we gladly work
for nothing *
147
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,988
* Which is good because
we don't intend to pay *
148
00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:18,725
* The elves are
back to work today *
149
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:21,828
Hooray!
150
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:25,999
* We have just a couple hours to
make several billion gifts *
151
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,301
* And the labor
isn't easy *
152
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,570
* Then you'll all work
triple shifts *
153
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,905
* You can make the job
go quicker *
154
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:36,976
* If you turn up the controls
to superspeed *
155
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:40,648
[ Tempo Quickens ] * It's back
to work on Xmas Eve *
[ Panting ] Hooray.
156
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:44,417
* And though you're cold
and sore and ugly *
157
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,654
* Your pride
will mask the pain *
158
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:51,158
* Let my happy smile
warm your heart *
159
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,360
* There's a toy
lodged in my brain *
160
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:57,965
* We are getting awfully tired
and we can't work any faster *
161
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:01,634
* And we're very, very sorry
* Why, you selfish
little bastards *
162
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:05,806
* Do you want the kids
to think that Santa's just
a crummy, empty-handed jerk *
163
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:09,677
- Ow!
- * Then shut your yaps
and back to work *
164
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:14,214
* Now it's
very nearly Xmas *
165
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,950
* We've done the best we could
* These toy soldiers
are poorly painted *
166
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:18,951
* And they're made
from inferior wood *
167
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:22,522
* I should give you all
a beating, but I really
have to fly *
168
00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:25,958
* If I weren't stuck here
frozen, I'd harpoon you
in the eye *
169
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:29,663
* Now it's back
into our tenements
to drown ourselves in rye *
170
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:33,734
* You did the best you could
I guess, and some of
these gorillas are okay *
171
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,335
Hooray!
We're adequate!
172
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:38,672
* The elves have rescued
Xmas Day **
Hooray!
173
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,078
Giddyap.
174
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,859
Duh, gee, Bender,
how're you gonna get
through these bars?
175
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,695
I don't know, moron.
Suppose I bend 'em?
176
00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:04,030
Duh, okay.
177
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,332
Ow!
Mommy! Mommy!
178
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:09,168
- Santa's through the perimeter!
- This is it, kids!
179
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,671
Take your suicide pills
so you won't suffer!
180
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:14,006
No! Wait!
I'm the good Santa.
181
00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:17,043
I've got toys,
at very reasonable prices.
182
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,913
Don't listen to him.
He's the father of all lies
and the uncle of all tricks.
183
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,250
But I come bearing
Tri-Ominos.
184
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:27,888
- Go for the shins!
- Aah! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow!
185
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:34,394
[ Groans ]
One down.
186
00:11:39,631 --> 00:11:43,302
[ Gasps ]
Well, hello there, handsome.
187
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,538
Won't you have a... cookie?
188
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:48,942
Ah, don't mind if I do.
Heh!
189
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,977
Ow! What's in these things?
190
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:54,914
Why don't you slip
into something more fiery?
191
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:58,284
Ow! Oh! Yah!
192
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,620
Ow! Aah!
193
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,591
[ Yells, Grunts ]
Ow.
194
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,629
Yo, Kringle!
What happened to you, dawg?
195
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,100
Oh, it's awful, Kwanzabot.
Everyone hates me.
196
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:17,004
[ Scoffs ]
At least they understand you.
You know what I'm saying?
197
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,005
Ain't nobody down
with this Kwanza tip.
198
00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:21,942
Hey, maybe you can lend me
a hand with these deliveries?
199
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:26,245
[ Imitates Buzzer ]
No time. I got to hand out
the traditional Kwanza book.
200
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:32,284
[ Sighs ]
I've been giving these out
for 647 years.
201
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,693
[ Growls ]
202
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:43,831
Ah, bathtub eggnog.
203
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,665
Just the way
Grandma used to drink.
204
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,937
[ Slurps ]
Eww! It went sour!
205
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:53,005
Can't I have
a scented bath in peace?
206
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:56,209
Remember, Professor,
Bender is Santa.
207
00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:59,346
So we don't need
to hurt him, right?
Yes, yes, yes!
208
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,714
You sound like
a broken MP3.
209
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:04,817
Ho, ho-- Ow!
210
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:08,020
Professor! Don't you
remember what I told you?
211
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,023
No!
212
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,125
[ Groans ]
213
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:17,898
Oh, there's gotta be
a better way.
214
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:26,306
Bender, you're a genius.
[ Sinister Laughter ]
215
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:30,543
This creates an unrealistic
standard of beauty.
[ Snorts ]
216
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:34,313
Now it's time for Santa
to screw open his present.
217
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,852
It's Santa,
and we got him cornered.
218
00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,355
Oh, I smell
a juicy promotion for me.
219
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,024
And a juicy rehiring back
onto the force for me.
220
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,427
Hey, wh-- what?
221
00:13:53,732 --> 00:13:56,937
This Xmas Day session of court
will come to order.
222
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,505
The Honorable
Judge Whitey presiding.
223
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:04,677
Santa Claus, you stand accused
of crimes against humanity.
224
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,678
How do you plead?
225
00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:09,015
Not Santa.
There he is again!
226
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,018
[ Whimpers ]
227
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:15,923
Now, Pramala, I know it's scary
in that there witness box,
228
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,857
but 'tain't no need
to fear me.
229
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,860
[ Clucks Loudly ]
Aah!
230
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:23,395
I'm sorry.
I thought you was corn.
231
00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:28,201
Now, would you please point
at that robot over there?
232
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,102
[ Spectators Murmuring ]
233
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,404
No further questions.
234
00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:37,809
[ Peeping ]
Daddy done good, huh?
235
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:41,914
Isn't it true that
you have been paid
for your testimony?
236
00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:44,716
Yes. You gave me a dollar
and some candy.
237
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:47,419
And yet you haven't said
what I told you to say.
238
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:49,489
How can any of us
trust you?
239
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,725
Quit badgering the witness.
240
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,663
Badger? Where?
[ Clucking ]
241
00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,667
Whereas I have a ham dinner
with mayonnaise...
242
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,970
waiting for me
at my mansion,
243
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,004
I find the defendant guilty.
244
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:09,176
- [ All Gasp ]
- Santa Claus,
I hereby sentence you...
245
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:12,178
to be executed
at sundown.
246
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,846
- Oh!
- It's not fair.
247
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:17,985
I just hope that dumb chicken
is ashamed of himself.
248
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:21,421
[ Crowing ]
249
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:29,162
Deactivated robot walking!
250
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,099
We got a deactivated
robot walking here.
251
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:34,866
[ Whirring ]
252
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:39,005
Hey, Santa, when you
see the robot devil,
tell him I'm a-comin'.
253
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:43,842
Hey, that guy said
to tell you that--
I heard him.
254
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,884
** [ "Pop Goes The Weasel" ]
255
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:55,154
Greetings, masters!
256
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:58,158
My companion and I
made lots of toys.
257
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,192
Out of my way, shrimpo.
258
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,562
We're here to bring
Santa back so we can prove
Bender's innocence.
259
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,298
[ Buzzing ]
260
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:11,171
Do what you will,
but we'll see
who has the last "ho."
261
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:15,008
[ All Grunting ]
There.
262
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,009
Oh, no!
The ice is melting!
263
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:20,647
The pollution from the factory--
it caused a greenhouse effect.
264
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:23,816
- That would explain this heat.
- And your breezy short shorts.
265
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,253
Uh, yeah, that
would explain it.
266
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:28,687
[ Roars ]
267
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,590
[ All Screaming ]
268
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:39,331
[ All Screaming ]
269
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:43,669
[ Machinery Humming ]
270
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:45,904
[ Panting ]
271
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,575
[ Muttering, Grunting ]
272
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,842
[ Grunting ]
273
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,347
[ Santa Grunts ]
Oh!
274
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:04,757
Hurry! We've gotta think
of another way to save Bender,
or Xmas will be ruined.
275
00:17:04,856 --> 00:17:07,026
Especially for Bender.
276
00:17:10,962 --> 00:17:12,898
Look out, Earth.
277
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:16,635
I'm dreaming
of a red Xmas.
278
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:20,307
[ Evil Laughter ]
279
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:29,148
Ah, good old Maggie.
Huh? Eh.
280
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:33,051
When I pull the switch,
these powerful electromagnets
will tear you limb from limb,
281
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,555
killing you in the most
humane possible manner.
282
00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:38,790
But, Mr. Mayor,
that doesn't sound humane!
283
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,827
It is for the witnesses
because it's not boring.
284
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:50,502
The instant this random
number generator reaches zero,
you'll be executed.
285
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,740
- [ Groans ]
- Ten.
286
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:56,008
Three.
287
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:58,244
Twelve. Three again.
288
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,980
- Stop the execution!
- Leela!
289
00:18:01,079 --> 00:18:05,417
- Fifteen. Negative eight.
- You've got the wrong Santa,
and I'll prove it.
290
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,920
I'm Santa Claus.
[ Gasping ]
291
00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:11,523
- What? Twenty-seven.
- No, I'm Santa Claus.
292
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,527
- Six?
- [ Low-pitched Voice ]
We're also Santa Claus.
293
00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:16,695
And I'm his friend Jesus.
294
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:20,833
Your Mayorness,
if you execute him,
you have to execute all of us.
295
00:18:20,932 --> 00:18:24,136
You people aren't Santa.
You're not even robots.
296
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:28,039
Ninety-one.
How dare you lie
in front of Jesus.
297
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:30,210
Hey, zero.
298
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,345
[ Electronic Humming ]
299
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,046
No! Stop the magnet!
300
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:36,816
[ Voice Quavering ]
* Swing low
301
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:40,153
* Sweet chariot
302
00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:43,522
* Comin' for
to carry me home *
303
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,892
- * Swing low *
- This is horrible.
304
00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:47,993
But it's not boring.
305
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:52,030
Ho, ho, ho!
306
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,867
Oh!
307
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,869
[ All Screaming ]
308
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,539
My God, the real Santa!
Get him, Jesus!
309
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,675
I help those
who help themselves!
[ Whimpering ]
310
00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:08,347
Santa! You saved my life.
Please don't kill me.
311
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:12,652
Ha, ha, ho, ho, ho!
I'm not here
to kill you, Bender.
312
00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:15,887
I need you to help me
save Xmas.
313
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,759
Gee whiz, Santa.
314
00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:22,060
You want me to help you?
315
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:26,199
- Don't do it! He's evil!
- I know he is,
but I have no choice.
316
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:30,436
I'm running late,
and if I don't complete
my brutal rampage,
317
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:33,272
well, it just
wouldn't be Xmas.
318
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,275
I guess what
I'm asking is,
319
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:39,546
Bender, won't you join
my slaying tonight?
320
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:42,281
Well, 'tis the season.
321
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:02,034
[ All Screaming ]
322
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:04,604
Aah!
323
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:07,473
My hair!
My wedding cake!
324
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:10,410
[ Laughing ]
Let it snow!
325
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:15,448
Merry Xmas, kids.
[ Grunts ]
326
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,784
[ Grunting ]
327
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,287
Aah!
328
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,989
[ Laughing ]
329
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,426
This wangs chung.
330
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:30,997
After all the good we tried
to do, Xmas turned out
as rotten as ever.
331
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:33,098
No heat.
No power.
332
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:37,103
Huddled together in fear,
like lice in a burning wig.
333
00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:41,007
Wait a second.
Maybe your futuristic Xmas
isn't so rotten, after all.
334
00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:44,611
What are you talking
about, you crouton?
You said it yourself.
335
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:48,448
Xmas should be about
bringing people together,
not blowing them apart.
336
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:51,417
But don't you see?
Fear has brought us together.
337
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,420
That's the magic of Xmas.
338
00:20:53,519 --> 00:20:56,323
That's a big crock of--
339
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,525
Hold me.
340
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:09,501
On, Trasher!
On, Smasher!
341
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,605
- Hey, Kwanzabot.
Where are you off to?
- You didn't hear about it?
342
00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:16,008
Chanukah Zombie's having
a luau at the B'nai B'rith.
You comin'?
343
00:21:16,107 --> 00:21:18,678
Word.
344
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:22,348
By the way, Bender,
here's a small token
of my appreciation...
345
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:25,217
for being Santa while
I was trapped in the ice.
346
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:27,819
Oooh!
[ Chuckling ]
347
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,656
Hey, chief, you screwed up.
There's nothing in here.
348
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:34,560
Oh, it might appear empty,
but the message is clear.
349
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,663
Play Santa again,
350
00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:39,865
and I'll kill you next year.
351
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:43,970
Aah!
352
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:50,809
Ho, ho, ho!
26966
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