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1
00:00:00,690 --> 00:00:02,777
Oh, my God, I cannot fucking
believe this!
2
00:00:02,862 --> 00:00:04,634
Here we fucking go!
3
00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:06,533
Oh! Jeez!
4
00:00:08,097 --> 00:00:09,615
Pardon the interruption.
5
00:00:09,707 --> 00:00:11,511
We are once again
in the federal clear.
6
00:00:11,596 --> 00:00:13,889
Rick, what the hell?!
A-Are you a Turkey Dracula now?
7
00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,766
Morty, is that
a Pooplickian GamePod?
8
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,351
Actually it's
the GamePod XL.
9
00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:19,645
They say it's the most realistic
video game console ever.
10
00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:21,605
- I never got you that.
- Space Mom did.
11
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,315
She's in for the holiday
weekend, remember?
12
00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,150
Shit, in that case, let's go,
let's get out of here...
13
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,652
I heard you smack
the glass, Dad.
14
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,278
If you bail,
I'll disown you!
15
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,030
Yeah, I'd say don't
hop through a portal.
16
00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:31,407
But, oh, wait, you can't.
17
00:00:31,491 --> 00:00:32,866
Look at it this way, Morty.
18
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,702
Life is a subscription,
and Thanksgiving
19
00:00:34,786 --> 00:00:36,537
is your family's
yearly charge.
20
00:00:36,621 --> 00:00:38,664
Wow, Dad, good job.
21
00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,916
Rick, put some pants on.
22
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,960
Today has so few rules.
23
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,129
Yes, Patriarch.
24
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,547
Ding ding ding!
25
00:00:46,631 --> 00:00:48,132
I'd like to make a toast.
26
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,801
Today is a day for thanks.
27
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,594
And for family.
28
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:55,514
And for remembering
all of those that have less.
29
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,307
Okay, pick a scope.
Pick a scope?
30
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,500
Can we please have
a normal Thanksgiving?
31
00:00:59,584 --> 00:01:00,978
Well, seems like all the ones
I remember.
32
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:02,610
Good point.
33
00:01:02,842 --> 00:01:05,607
Baby, you...
It's a toast.
34
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,232
- Sorry!
- Sorry!
35
00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:11,280
Anyway, I'm thankful
for my wife.
36
00:01:11,364 --> 00:01:13,157
Beth.
The Beth that chose me.
37
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:15,492
I'm so grateful to you,
38
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,494
and I literally could
not live without you.
39
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,704
Aw!
Aw! Aw!
40
00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:19,872
I really mean that.
41
00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:21,331
If something were
to happen to you,
42
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,875
or if you were to leave me,
or be unfaithful,
43
00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:24,293
I would die.
Mm! Uh...
44
00:01:24,377 --> 00:01:26,086
Literally.
Probably by my own hand.
45
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,296
Eww.
Okay.
46
00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:28,630
I know how I'd do it.
47
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,257
Our first blender has
an extra long cord
48
00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:32,468
and it was manufactured
before safety fuses,
49
00:01:32,552 --> 00:01:33,886
so I'd draw a warm bath...
50
00:01:33,970 --> 00:01:36,013
And blend some stuff.
Good toast, honey.
51
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:37,431
To thankfulness.
52
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,349
To...
A-America?
53
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,559
To ending the toast?
54
00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:42,394
To ending the toast!
55
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:45,689
Just to, uh, be clear,
I was saying I'd kill myself.
56
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,772
Jerry. God!
We know!
57
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:21,975
Sorry Jerry got
all husbandy.
58
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,644
Yeah, do not miss that.
59
00:02:23,728 --> 00:02:25,729
So I was thinking we could set
you up in Jerry's man cave?
60
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,272
Oh, that's okay,
I'll sleep in my car.
61
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,733
It's got a TARDIS thing
going on, bigger on the inside.
62
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,986
Dad calls it hack, but my
soaking tub begs to differ.
63
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,656
Hmm, maybe I'll trade you.
Ohh!
64
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,074
Agh!
My lower back.
65
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,076
Oh, I got this.
66
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,286
Ah, Jesus,
that was great.
67
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,747
Well, you're me.
68
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:47,209
I find this is usually
the biggest help.
69
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:49,586
Mmm, oh, I just love...
70
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,171
the Venusian stuff.
71
00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,632
It's cool, I get insecure trying
to pronounce this crap, too,
72
00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:55,509
but I got just
the thing for that.
73
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:58,468
Here.
74
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:06,309
Um...
75
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,986
Okay, shoot that asteroid.
Now shoot that one.
76
00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:15,988
Now shoot me in the face.
This game's trash.
77
00:03:16,072 --> 00:03:18,115
I didn't want to say anything,
but this does seem lame.
78
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,408
Yeah, I thought it was maybe
79
00:03:19,492 --> 00:03:20,742
'cause we've shot
so many real asteroids.
80
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:21,952
L-Let's look at the menu.
81
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,787
Oh! T-There's the realism
setting.
82
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,247
Oh, cool.
Also stupid.
83
00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:27,749
The factory setting is 4?
What do we want, 10?
84
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,668
No, do 9.
I'm kidding.
85
00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,295
Shut up, Summer.
Yeah, shut up, Summer.
86
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,045
Put 10.
87
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:36,967
This is the same.
It's worse. It's...
88
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,468
Oh. Oh.
I get it. Okay.
89
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,678
It's... It's more real.
90
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:41,305
The vast majority of space
is empty.
91
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:42,639
What?
Who cares?
92
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,308
T-Then what am I doing?
93
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,143
Looks like you can record
a video for your kid
94
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,644
in case you die.
95
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,647
Not a bad idea, you're gonna be
in space for a while.
96
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,232
May as well.
97
00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:54,484
Um, hey, son.
Uh...
98
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,153
If you're seeing this, I...
99
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,614
starved to death
while looking for an asteroid.
100
00:03:58,698 --> 00:04:00,324
Ugh.
This is stupid.
101
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:02,326
You guys are obviously just
trying to convince yourselves
102
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:03,994
it's cool because
you feel lame about it.
103
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,205
Summer you know nothing
about gamer culture.
104
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,915
Bro, tell your son you love
the shit out of him.
105
00:04:07,999 --> 00:04:09,539
Oh, I'm gonna!
106
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,302
Of course we both can't sleep
at the same time.
107
00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,346
Yeah, we do share
a shitty back.
108
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:23,889
Turn around.
At least let me...
109
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,349
Yes, please.
110
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:26,892
Oh, my God.
111
00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:29,436
Okay, I know we're not massage
people but you need this.
112
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,521
See, you act like this
bad ass space cowboy,
113
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,899
but I know you're just
a scared little overachiever
114
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,610
that keeps all her
OCD right...
115
00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:38,362
Oh, my God!
Yeah.
116
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,739
By the way you better
be taking notes... I'm next.
117
00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:42,324
It's my back,
you dumb bitch.
118
00:04:42,408 --> 00:04:44,117
Nice.
119
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,909
What?
120
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,461
Well, I better
get back to bed.
121
00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:57,503
Yep. Same.
122
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,220
Oh, so now you're into
highly realistic video games?
123
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,555
Maybe I decided real life
was too much right now,
124
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,724
or maybe I'm not afraid
to change my mind about stuff.
125
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,103
Maybe mental flexibility
is stronger than stubbornness.
126
00:05:11,187 --> 00:05:12,562
Nice manip', Sum-Sum.
127
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,356
Okay, I-I'm in the alley
behind the library.
128
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,441
- Uptown or downtown?
- Shit, there's one uptown, too?
129
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,360
It's okay, stay there,
I think I'm near the red line.
130
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:19,861
Is this "Street Fighter"?
131
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,113
"Street Fighter"
where you start
132
00:05:21,197 --> 00:05:22,614
at the beginning
of each fighter's day
133
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,074
and have to find
each other to fight.
134
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,367
It's very realistic.
135
00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:27,077
Not even guaranteed
a fight will happen.
136
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,538
That meter filling up is us
forgetting what made us so mad.
137
00:05:29,622 --> 00:05:32,207
If anyone's interested
in a higher level of realism,
138
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:34,042
I'm booting up the OG...
139
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:37,546
That's Original Game,
called a jigsaw puzzle...
140
00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:39,089
In the den.
141
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,424
Hey, gang!
142
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:41,883
Me and my space self
are gonna make a run
143
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,802
to the Gloppy Drop System
for ice cream.
144
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,095
Any flavor requests?
145
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,346
- Vanilla!
- Vanilla!
146
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:47,681
Why do you guys have to go
147
00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:49,308
all the way to deep space
just for ice cream?
148
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,518
Gloppy Dropulites have less
taste buds than humans.
149
00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,228
Their ice cream
is like a hospital bed.
150
00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:55,605
It's designed for you
to do less so it does more.
151
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,441
Okay, see ya in a bit.
152
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,359
I'll get started sorting
all the obvious sky pieces.
153
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:00,777
Secret technique.
154
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,779
- Oh, shit, there you are!
- Oh, fuck, it's on, bitch!
155
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,739
I'm gonna eat your ass! You
will die in the street like a dog!
156
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:10,037
Stunning.
157
00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:13,290
Thank you.
This is incredible.
158
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:16,207
Eh. Just glad I had something
in your size.
159
00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:19,338
How far is Gloppy Drop?
160
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,882
And why do I always think
I'm wearing a watch?
161
00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,592
I actually have a pint
of Gloppy Drop
162
00:06:23,676 --> 00:06:25,469
on a little apartment
orbiting Earth.
163
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:26,762
So we have time.
164
00:06:26,846 --> 00:06:28,764
You have your own
space station?
165
00:06:28,848 --> 00:06:30,515
We have our own
space station.
166
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,601
We're the same person.
There's differences.
167
00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:35,729
Like, one of us has no idea
who she really is.
168
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:37,522
Wrong.
But let's make a deal.
169
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,566
Let's trust ourselves enough
to stop wondering
170
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,234
who we are
when we're together.
171
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,819
We get to say anything
to each other.
172
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,906
Things we'd never say
to anyone else, even ourselves.
173
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:47,866
What don't we say
to ourselves?
174
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:51,244
How about, "Wow, my ass looks
good in that space suit"?
175
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,538
I mean it.
I'm a good-looking woman.
176
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,374
Well, that's nice
of you to say.
177
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,000
I also...
178
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,794
find myself...
179
00:06:58,878 --> 00:07:00,751
quite attractive.
180
00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,263
We forgot the ice cream.
181
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,394
I want you back
in my guts like
182
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,852
I'm one of your sick
little fillies.
183
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,571
Oh, God damn it, Morty!
184
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,240
You can't just
take my controller
185
00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:29,699
Yes, I can!
It's mine!
186
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,493
Ugh.
Okay, Sum-Sum, gimme.
187
00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:33,120
Make your own controller,
some of us need
188
00:07:33,204 --> 00:07:34,454
all the control we can get.
189
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:36,581
Ugh, fuck you!
190
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:39,209
So why are you so suddenly
into realistic video games?
191
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:40,502
I already was.
192
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,212
Yeah, but now you're into them
the way I am.
193
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,423
You mean, like staring at them
in a numb trance?
194
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,800
Uh-huh.
Not judging, just noticing.
195
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:49,594
Yeah, y-you tend to notice
stuff a little before I do.
196
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:50,971
But eventually
you do notice.
197
00:07:51,055 --> 00:07:53,432
And now we can both
not notice together, yes.
198
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:54,808
- Oh, my god...
- Beth!
199
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:56,766
I thought you said
you got ice cream?
200
00:07:58,062 --> 00:07:59,729
Yeah, I, uh...
It must be in the, uh...
201
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,648
Oh, the car!
We left it in the car.
202
00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:04,526
Okay, good, because that
would have been weird!
203
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,611
I worry things might become
more and more noticeable.
204
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,946
Yeah,
and if he kills himself,
205
00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,322
we're gonna have to get
a new dad
206
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,947
Jesus Christ, Summer!
207
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:15,537
Hey, Dad.
208
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:16,997
Um, hmm, what's this?
209
00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:18,373
Making a controller.
210
00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,584
This species of bionic space
whale has carbon wiring,
211
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,169
great for smooth game play.
212
00:08:22,253 --> 00:08:23,670
I'm not killing it,
for the record.
213
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:26,006
I'm just replacing its esophagus
with a better one.
214
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:27,924
For free.
I-It should thank me.
215
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,301
And it will, with its mind.
216
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:30,760
These things are
telepathic, Beth.
217
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,679
They talk to you
in dreams.
218
00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:34,556
Does your replicator thing
make ice cream
219
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,057
from the Gloppy Drop system?
220
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,852
Why would you want replicated
Gloppy Drop ice cream, poser?
221
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,396
Crazy thing. I went with
Space Beth to get some,
222
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,316
and we had such a great time
we forgot the ice cream!
223
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,734
Crazy, right?
224
00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,319
That's a real question?
225
00:08:47,403 --> 00:08:48,487
M-Maybe?
226
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,113
Come here,
hold the pup down.
227
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,740
You're talking about
an infinite father.
228
00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:53,825
I've met myself out there
infinite times.
229
00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:55,327
Infinite shit happens.
230
00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:57,913
Including, as you put it,
forgetting the ice cream.
231
00:08:57,997 --> 00:08:59,831
You've...
forgotten the ice cream?
232
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:01,333
Drill me for details
when I'm drunker.
233
00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:03,960
In the meantime, don't worry
about what's crazy.
234
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,545
You know, as the kids say,
you do you.
235
00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:07,756
Oh, thanks.
Thank you so much, Dad.
236
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,216
One thing to keep in mind,
though.
237
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,176
It's not just your own ice cream
you're forgetting.
238
00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:12,677
It's your family's.
239
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,638
If you forget it too much, you
start having to keep secrets.
240
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,306
Oh, and you're against
secrets?
241
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,183
Against? Hell no.
Secrets are great.
242
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:20,227
For instance, I've had
a pint of vanilla
243
00:09:20,311 --> 00:09:22,062
Gloppy Drop in my fridge
this whole time.
244
00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,980
Take it.
I'm just saying, lies pile up.
245
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,315
Like credit card debt.
246
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,817
You retain an advantage
by staying liquid.
247
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,152
Gotcha.
Well...
248
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:32,197
I'd call this a simple
cash transaction.
249
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,905
Fun and done.
250
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,166
Favorite Culkin.
251
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,834
- Kieran!
- Kieran!
252
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,461
Favorite song by Britney.
"Work Bitch"!
253
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,129
"Work Bitch"!
Favorite hangover cure.
254
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,839
Hair of the dog with a guilty
Hair of the dog with a guilty
255
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,163
pleasure like "Humans Weekly."
pleasure like "Us Weekly."
256
00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:57,347
I told Dad.
257
00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:58,848
I mean, I didn't have to.
He knew.
258
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,060
I guess that's one reason
you didn't have to tell him.
259
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:04,854
What'd he say?
260
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,190
We kind of talked in code,
I think he said it's fine
261
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,901
until it makes us feel
indebted to our lessers.
262
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,528
That sounds like Dad.
263
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,614
Do we owe...
the family an explanation?
264
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,324
Do we have to spend
our time together
265
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:17,909
figuring out
how to please others?
266
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,077
I'm married.
267
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:21,955
We both are,
but I'm in our marriage.
268
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,873
It's the defining difference
between us.
269
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,960
Well, there's no rule book
that says you have to be.
270
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,712
What's gonna happen?
271
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:31,756
What is this?
Are we in love...
272
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,049
with our self?
273
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,384
I mean, does that make us
the most
274
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,511
or the least healthy woman
in the universe?
275
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,930
Anybody ever tell you
you're overly analytical?
276
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,599
Which I do love.
277
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:42,183
If that's what you need
to call it.
278
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,311
I don't need to call it
anything.
279
00:10:44,395 --> 00:10:47,981
I would like to know...
its shelf life.
280
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,983
I might know a way
to gather that data.
281
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,610
Motel room!
The Holodeck!
282
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,401
I like yours better.
283
00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:56,320
Hmm...
Uh...
284
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,329
Beth!
Uh, m-my Beth!
285
00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:05,373
Well, not "my" Beth, but...
I finished!
286
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:06,875
It's done!
287
00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:08,418
Kids, do you know
where your moms are?
288
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:10,629
Oh, you're busy
with your GamePod.
289
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,756
Don't worry about it,
I'll find those two somewhere.
290
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:17,427
No! No, Dad, um, come play
video games with us!
291
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,013
Okay, Dad, here's
the infinite menu screen.
292
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:21,431
Oh, I dunno.
293
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,892
Here, here, I-I'll have
the console choose a game!
294
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:26,394
Um, maybe
let's skip this one?
295
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,645
Really? Why?
Looks fun!
296
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,441
Oh, okay, so we are
297
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,776
a woman married to a man
298
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,110
but having a sexual affair
299
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,904
with another woman!
300
00:11:35,988 --> 00:11:37,197
Very spicy.
301
00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:39,407
Very spicy, Jer.
G-Good job.
302
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:42,199
Looks pretty
single player, kids?
303
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,959
Seriously, you two?!
304
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,545
What the hell did you do
in my Holodeck?!
305
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,799
Holy shit, you... you did a full
"San Junipero" in here?
306
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,676
Oh, my God, Beth,
there's masturbating
307
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,469
and then there's masturbating.
308
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,638
Ew, Dad stop, I'm sorry!
You'd know, old man.
309
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,556
Argh!
Look, this isn't my business,
310
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,184
and by all means, enjoy being
sapphic horse girls together.
311
00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:08,061
But you suck at doing
it secretly.
312
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,230
We all know.
Including Jerry?!
313
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,315
No, Dad's so in the dark
that he's enjoying a video game
314
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,858
about being in an affair
right now.
315
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,777
If you guys are doing this,
you got to tell him!
316
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,195
Okay, little man,
back off.
317
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:18,488
Take it easy.
They're right.
318
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,323
Right about what,
that we have to be twice
319
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,492
as considerate and twice
as repressed
320
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,494
because some dick
split us in two?
321
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:27,706
This is the shit I left.
This isn't. This is me.
322
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,958
This is the me that doesn't
tell you all to fuck off.
323
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:31,751
So allow me.
Fuck off.
324
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,337
She'll tell her husband what she
wants when she feels like it.
325
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,172
And you can deal with it
or you can deal with me.
326
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:40,135
But you should know I have
all the Predator weapons.
327
00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:42,137
Works for me. Fair
enough. That's cool.
328
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:43,680
I guess it's time
for ice cream.
329
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,266
Come on, kids,
you're inhaling this stuff.
330
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:47,851
Your Moms went to space.
331
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:50,520
Did you even thank them
for doing it?
332
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,272
Thanks for...
333
00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:53,732
doing it, Moms.
334
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,191
Very selfless of you.
335
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,901
Eat your ice cream
however you want.
336
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,484
Nothing good lasts forever.
337
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,202
Okay, come on,
it's Thanksgiving.
338
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,664
The least we can do
is speak English.
339
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,291
Jerry, I had sex
with your wife.
340
00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:14,544
Or I'm your wife and had sex
with the clone you sleep with.
341
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,836
Your pick.
We had sex. We loved it.
342
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:21,843
Beth Sanchez sure
is something, huh?
343
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:23,428
I think
I'll ask her to prom.
344
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:24,846
Jerry,
for your own sake,
345
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,598
stay away
from Beth Sanchez.
346
00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:28,057
Worst case,
she says "no."
347
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,351
No, Jerry.
Worst case she says "yes."
348
00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,103
She's too much
woman for you.
349
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:34,773
Yeah, maybe she'd find
your simple naiveté endearing,
350
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,024
but she's intense.
351
00:13:36,108 --> 00:13:38,234
Sooner or later,
she'd tear you apart.
352
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:42,528
I'd be lucky to be
torn apart by Beth Sanchez.
353
00:13:47,317 --> 00:13:48,828
- Aah!
- What the fuck?!
354
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,914
Dad's a bug!
Dad rolled into a bug!
355
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:54,248
Oh, yeah.
Sh... Forgot I installed that.
356
00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:58,464
Why does Jerry have
a Pill Bug Protocol?
357
00:13:58,549 --> 00:13:59,768
It's an emotional
defense system.
358
00:13:59,852 --> 00:14:01,215
I got drunk
with Jerry one night
359
00:14:01,323 --> 00:14:02,603
and he said it's what
he wanted most in the world.
360
00:14:02,687 --> 00:14:04,438
Don't blame me,
I wanted tattoos.
361
00:14:04,691 --> 00:14:05,974
Anyway, he's in perfect health
in there
362
00:14:06,058 --> 00:14:07,483
and he can unroll
when he chooses to,
363
00:14:07,567 --> 00:14:09,454
but can also stay
in metabolic hibernation
364
00:14:09,539 --> 00:14:11,493
pretty much indefinitely.
It's a cool power to have,
365
00:14:11,577 --> 00:14:12,994
like if you have
to fly coach or if
366
00:14:13,078 --> 00:14:15,396
Summer asks you what you thought
of "Wonder Woman 1984."
367
00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:16,982
How do we undo it?
Only he can.
368
00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:18,833
That's the point.
It's total safety.
369
00:14:18,917 --> 00:14:20,543
Even I can't reverse it.
370
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,003
If you try to pry him out
and hit a nerve,
371
00:14:22,087 --> 00:14:23,671
he'll literally
turn into a Shrek.
372
00:14:23,755 --> 00:14:25,965
In his own sad way,
he's taken control.
373
00:14:26,049 --> 00:14:27,509
This is classic Jerry.
374
00:14:27,593 --> 00:14:29,552
He'd rather be a bug
than have a conversation.
375
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,554
Oh, have you heard the way
you start conversations?
376
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,264
You ladies discuss
responsibility
377
00:14:33,348 --> 00:14:35,890
while I get stoned and play
video games with your kids.
378
00:14:44,776 --> 00:14:46,111
Fuck!
More forest!
379
00:14:46,195 --> 00:14:47,944
L-Look around!
380
00:14:51,074 --> 00:14:52,865
Try heading north.
381
00:14:56,038 --> 00:14:57,580
Oh, shit.
Wait, what the fuck?
382
00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,831
Um, maybe keep
heading north?
383
00:15:04,963 --> 00:15:06,214
Ew, what the hell?
384
00:15:06,298 --> 00:15:08,341
Oh, God, w-what happens
in the shadows?
385
00:15:08,425 --> 00:15:11,594
Jerry, sweetie, if you can hear
me, please unroll.
386
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,096
He doesn't want to.
387
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,265
It's a little late to worry
about what he wants.
388
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,891
Jesus, Beth,
don't fall for this.
389
00:15:16,975 --> 00:15:18,560
This isn't love,
it's a tantrum.
390
00:15:18,644 --> 00:15:20,979
Yeah, but his tantrum
is self-destructive.
391
00:15:21,063 --> 00:15:22,397
Yours is destructive.
392
00:15:22,481 --> 00:15:24,190
Maybe that's why I'm the one
that loves him.
393
00:15:24,274 --> 00:15:26,109
He worries.
He wants to do right.
394
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:27,944
He's ashamed when he fails.
395
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,863
Aren't those things
you love about me?
396
00:15:29,947 --> 00:15:32,323
You want me to be like him?
You want me to propose?
397
00:15:32,407 --> 00:15:33,741
Threaten to kill myself?
398
00:15:33,825 --> 00:15:35,743
No.
I love you the way you are.
399
00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:37,662
And I did it forever
in a video game.
400
00:15:37,746 --> 00:15:39,998
But in life, things go wrong.
Things stop working.
401
00:15:40,082 --> 00:15:42,083
I-I like to fix those things,
and when I can't,
402
00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:44,127
I'm pretty useless.
Like my husband.
403
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,420
I don't get it.
404
00:15:45,504 --> 00:15:47,213
You're the house wife
and I'm the space lady,
405
00:15:47,297 --> 00:15:49,424
but you're the one that chewed
me up and spit me out.
406
00:15:49,508 --> 00:15:51,843
I don't want to just forget
about you.
407
00:15:51,927 --> 00:15:54,220
Me neither.
408
00:15:54,304 --> 00:15:55,638
It's a problem.
409
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,516
But we know someone
that owes us a solution.
410
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,685
Oh, shit, we're out
of the forest.
411
00:16:00,769 --> 00:16:01,936
We found a clearing.
412
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:04,270
Go check it out!
Go check out the clearing!
413
00:16:08,026 --> 00:16:09,360
Vampires?!
414
00:16:09,444 --> 00:16:10,987
Oh, come on!
That's not realistic!
415
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,280
Morty, it's obviously set
in a world
416
00:16:12,364 --> 00:16:14,115
where vampires hunt
in clearings.
417
00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:16,451
How did you... I'm working with
the same information you are!
418
00:16:16,535 --> 00:16:17,827
Ow!
419
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:20,121
No more screen time
until your homework's done, Dad.
420
00:16:20,205 --> 00:16:22,123
- What did that mean?
- We refuse to care.
421
00:16:22,207 --> 00:16:24,459
Damn. You really came of age
this Thanksgiving.
422
00:16:24,543 --> 00:16:25,668
How old are we?
423
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,462
We've had a million
Thanksgivings.
424
00:16:27,546 --> 00:16:29,297
Can I explain
how irrational this is?
425
00:16:29,381 --> 00:16:31,299
Asked the guy
that cloned his daughter.
426
00:16:31,383 --> 00:16:33,468
Will I ever live that down?
No.No.
427
00:16:33,552 --> 00:16:35,136
You guys are having me
"Eternal Sunshine"
428
00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:37,180
all the "Multiplicity" porn
scenes from your minds?
429
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:38,556
Yep. Basically.
Sounds right.
430
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:39,974
Meanwhile, everyone
around you...
431
00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:41,392
Your father,
your cuckhold husband,
432
00:16:41,476 --> 00:16:43,353
your jaded children...
Will just happily
433
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,938
and silently bear the burden
434
00:16:45,022 --> 00:16:46,773
because it's more practical
for them than the truth
435
00:16:46,857 --> 00:16:48,858
and you don't care because
it won't be your problem?
436
00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:50,485
Solid repipe, Dad.
437
00:16:50,569 --> 00:16:52,889
It's like he has a lifetime
of experience as a selfish ass.
438
00:16:56,985 --> 00:16:58,910
When this fails and the two
of you fall in love again
439
00:16:58,994 --> 00:17:00,620
and you attack me
for taking part in this,
440
00:17:00,704 --> 00:17:02,830
I'm gonna lie and say I tried
to talk you out of it for hours.
441
00:17:02,914 --> 00:17:04,791
In truth, I don't care.
Three, two...
442
00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:06,918
Oh, for God's sakes,
all of you, grow up.
443
00:17:07,002 --> 00:17:08,545
- Jerry! You unrolled!
- What the hell?!
444
00:17:08,629 --> 00:17:10,338
Ooh, plot twist,
Deus Ex Husband a.
445
00:17:10,422 --> 00:17:12,674
Oh, don't lobotomize
yourselves for my comfort.
446
00:17:12,758 --> 00:17:15,176
I may be a man, but I'm also
a baby, and babies
447
00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:17,554
don't take responsibility
for other people's suffering.
448
00:17:17,638 --> 00:17:19,764
I should never have said
I'd kill myself if you left me.
449
00:17:19,848 --> 00:17:21,057
It's not true.
450
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,725
All I'd do is pack my shit
and cry
451
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,769
while I look for a job
on Starbucks Wi-Fi.
452
00:17:24,853 --> 00:17:26,271
And that's what I'm gonna do.
453
00:17:26,355 --> 00:17:29,190
So the two of you can get clone
lesbian married
454
00:17:29,274 --> 00:17:31,859
by a robot and finger
yourselves on the moon
455
00:17:31,943 --> 00:17:35,321
while laughing in Martian French
about my weird little dick!
456
00:17:35,405 --> 00:17:36,779
Jerry, wait!
457
00:17:41,703 --> 00:17:43,371
Jerry, don't leave angry.
458
00:17:43,455 --> 00:17:45,915
Should I float out
on a lotus leaf?
459
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:47,375
I have to be twice
as confident
460
00:17:47,459 --> 00:17:49,419
because my wife
cheated on me with herself?
461
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,878
It's not even cheating.
462
00:17:50,962 --> 00:17:52,380
Oh, you here to help?
You suck.
463
00:17:52,464 --> 00:17:54,465
You don't even know which one
is your real wife.
464
00:17:54,549 --> 00:17:56,634
If it's me, have you been
cheating with a clone?
465
00:17:56,718 --> 00:17:58,219
I'm not the clone,
but she has a point.
466
00:17:58,303 --> 00:18:00,221
Oh, what a provocative
conversation it would've been
467
00:18:00,305 --> 00:18:02,807
great to have before
the two of you...
468
00:18:02,891 --> 00:18:04,475
And I am counting two...
469
00:18:04,559 --> 00:18:07,061
Gave each other
unfairly expert orgasms
470
00:18:07,145 --> 00:18:08,605
while mocking my weird
little dick!
471
00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:10,189
Jerry, you're the only
one who keeps saying
472
00:18:10,273 --> 00:18:12,191
"weird" and "little."
Well, you've both seen it!
473
00:18:12,275 --> 00:18:14,110
And you've both seen each other,
and now you want
474
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,112
to tell me all about it,
but it's a little late.
475
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,447
Oh, my God.
476
00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:18,865
You're not mad that
it was about you.
477
00:18:18,949 --> 00:18:20,575
You're mad that it wasn't.
478
00:18:20,659 --> 00:18:22,535
He wanted
to permit our love.
479
00:18:22,619 --> 00:18:25,580
Okay, it's not "Handmaid's Tale"
to loop in your husband.
480
00:18:25,664 --> 00:18:27,206
I agree, for the record.
We made a mistake.
481
00:18:27,290 --> 00:18:29,918
Oh, because we should've
noticed ourselves losing control
482
00:18:30,002 --> 00:18:33,254
and gone to Sex master Jerry
and said, "Oh, pretty please,
483
00:18:33,338 --> 00:18:35,465
Jerry, can I make out
with myself?"
484
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:37,050
Yes, you may.
485
00:18:37,134 --> 00:18:40,470
Yeah, see. Not so hot when it's
aboveboard, home-wreckers.
486
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,263
Oh, so we won't
enjoy this?
487
00:18:42,347 --> 00:18:44,098
Well, hold on, hold on,
this is weird.
488
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:45,391
Weird and permitted.
489
00:18:45,475 --> 00:18:47,769
Wait, you like this?
Who cares what he likes.
490
00:18:47,853 --> 00:18:49,520
I do.
I might like it.
491
00:18:49,604 --> 00:18:51,439
And if she likes it,
I permit it.
492
00:18:51,523 --> 00:18:53,650
You little pervert.
You like a little pervert.
493
00:18:53,734 --> 00:18:55,735
I like humiliating
a little pervert.
494
00:18:55,819 --> 00:18:57,403
I approve.
Carry on.
495
00:18:57,487 --> 00:18:59,864
I'm freaked out
by how hot this is.
496
00:18:59,948 --> 00:19:01,741
Am I permitted
to do this?
497
00:19:01,825 --> 00:19:03,701
Until further notice.
I love it.
498
00:19:03,785 --> 00:19:05,328
Then it's permitted
from now on.
499
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,413
Oh, because you like
whatever she likes.
500
00:19:07,497 --> 00:19:08,957
Because you're a worm.
501
00:19:09,041 --> 00:19:10,458
I will allow
that assessment.
502
00:19:10,542 --> 00:19:12,251
- Pass the salt?
- I don't care what you allow.
503
00:19:12,335 --> 00:19:13,345
- Damn it!
- What do you allow?
504
00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:14,471
I allow this.
505
00:19:14,556 --> 00:19:15,662
Well,
then it's required.
506
00:19:15,747 --> 00:19:17,151
I approve
the requirement.
507
00:19:17,236 --> 00:19:18,945
You get over there.
Good idea.
508
00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:21,177
Oh, wow. Okay.
Uh, Honey?
509
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,361
I'm fine if you are.
You're never fine, shut up.
510
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,639
Okay, but... Whoa! Okay.
511
00:19:25,724 --> 00:19:27,934
This is not how
I pictured this, but...
512
00:19:28,018 --> 00:19:29,602
I have zero complaints
so far.
513
00:19:29,686 --> 00:19:31,187
Because I know
what you want.
514
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,689
I do not disagree
with that.
515
00:19:32,773 --> 00:19:34,440
Can I make a pitch?
What if we...
516
00:19:34,524 --> 00:19:35,817
Are you serious?
517
00:19:35,901 --> 00:19:37,652
Hey, is... is this
making fun of me?
518
00:19:37,736 --> 00:19:39,879
Well, is that bad?
I'll allow it.
519
00:19:43,325 --> 00:19:45,118
Jesus Christ, you need
to fix the portal gun, Rick!
520
00:19:45,202 --> 00:19:47,412
Morty, you asking makes me
want to do it less.
521
00:19:47,496 --> 00:19:48,663
Okay, uh, Thanksgiving!
522
00:19:48,747 --> 00:19:50,331
L-L-Let's talk
about Thanksgiving!
523
00:19:50,415 --> 00:19:53,185
Who's thankful for what?
Go, Summer, y-you first.
524
00:19:53,270 --> 00:19:57,190
Um, I guess I'm thankful,
for like, water?
525
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:59,051
Perfect! Wonderful!
Morty, w-what about you?
526
00:19:59,135 --> 00:20:01,679
F-F-Fucking
Are you fucking kidding me?
527
00:20:01,763 --> 00:20:04,140
Why? Why?
Discovery Channel!
528
00:20:04,224 --> 00:20:05,975
Discovery Channel, why?!
529
00:20:06,059 --> 00:20:07,852
Okay.
Just eat your food.
530
00:20:07,936 --> 00:20:09,312
Ea-Ea...
Everyone eat the food.
531
00:20:09,396 --> 00:20:12,106
Sorry, I'm...
Is this? Ooh!
532
00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:13,524
Well, bye, kids!
533
00:20:13,608 --> 00:20:15,901
I'll keep an eye out
for my grand kid in space.
534
00:20:15,985 --> 00:20:17,111
Your what?
535
00:20:17,195 --> 00:20:18,821
Oh, right.
"Naruto."
536
00:20:18,905 --> 00:20:21,530
Thanks for visiting,
Space Beth.
537
00:20:24,994 --> 00:20:29,206
Well, seems like we all learned
a little lesson this weekend!
538
00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:30,750
At least, I know I did.
539
00:20:30,834 --> 00:20:33,042
Me, too, Jerry.
Me, too.
540
00:21:15,587 --> 00:21:18,964
Hello there, Jerry!
How can I help you today?
541
00:21:19,048 --> 00:21:22,343
Howdy! Yeah, just, uh...
Just here to hang!
542
00:21:22,427 --> 00:21:23,970
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
543
00:21:24,054 --> 00:21:25,763
You can't come here
by yourself.
544
00:21:25,847 --> 00:21:27,640
Why not?
It's just me in there!
545
00:21:27,724 --> 00:21:30,309
Well, not that this is
something you'd do,
546
00:21:30,393 --> 00:21:32,687
but sometimes we have
Jerries come here
547
00:21:32,771 --> 00:21:34,855
and try to touch other
Jerries.
548
00:21:34,939 --> 00:21:37,191
Oh, no, that's...
That's not good.
549
00:21:37,275 --> 00:21:39,525
Uh, well,
see you later!
550
00:21:45,825 --> 00:21:47,867
- Okay.
- Thank you.
551
00:21:49,252 --> 00:21:50,834
Did you get any of that?
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