All language subtitles for Alfred Hitchcock s01e25 There Was an Old Woman.eng
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1
00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:06,436
* [Charles Gounod:
"Funeral March of a Marionette"]
2
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:27,963
Good evening.
3
00:00:27,994 --> 00:00:33,404
I have a request
for those of you who are not watching television.
4
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,573
Please turn on your set.
5
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,542
I'm sure I look much worse...
6
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:41,370
in the flamboyant Technicolor
of your imagination...
7
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:45,578
than I do
in the austere black and white of television.
8
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:46,782
Thank you.
9
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:49,153
I'm sure that's much better.
10
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:52,992
Although it may still be
one color too many.
11
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:55,959
Black and white
are very fitting this evening.
12
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,789
As a matter of fact...
13
00:00:57,824 --> 00:01:03,064
we considered edging
the entire picture in black, but we gave that up.
14
00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:06,596
It would have been decidedly
unfair to those of you...
15
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:09,173
with very small picture tubes.
16
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:12,372
Or narrow imaginations.
17
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,805
Tonight's fable
is about Monica Laughton.
18
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:19,952
A nice little old lady
with a penchant for funerals.
19
00:01:19,979 --> 00:01:22,949
You shall learn more
about Miss Laughton...
20
00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:25,852
after our sponsor
gives us brief...
21
00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:28,555
but heartfelt eulogy...
22
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,958
in behalf of his product.
23
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,709
Good morning, Theodore.
24
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:57,748
Morning, Miss Monica. Another
of your picture-book mornings, ain't it?
25
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:01,824
Yes, indeed,
a picture-book day, but most bracing.
26
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,285
I only wish
Oscar could have seen it.
27
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,834
That's too bad, Miss Monica.
I sure am sorry.
28
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,730
Oscar, did you say?
Did he suffer much?
29
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,262
Oh no, no!
30
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,496
One last convulsion
and he was gone.
31
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:17,403
Cecily's dreadfully cut up.
They were to be married, you know.
32
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:21,307
I fear it won't be long
before she follows him to the grave.
33
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:24,911
Just pining away, is she?
Miss Monica, did you want anything extra?
34
00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:28,724
Oh, yes. Half a pint of cream,
with all these people around.
35
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:31,478
Oscar was quite wealthy,
you know.
36
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:32,648
Brings out the relatives.
37
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,416
Yes, ma'am,
I guess it would.
38
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:35,624
Well, goodbye, Miss Monica.
39
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,185
Good day, Theodore.
40
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:51,144
If your brother
doesn't come through, we keep on hitchhiking.
41
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,111
So if you want to travel
more elegant, you'd better give him a good pitch.
42
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,410
Now here.
43
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,512
Reverse the charges
and make it person-to-person.
44
00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,684
Why don't you put the touch
on some of your relatives?
45
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:04,253
Why don't you stop
asking stupid questions? Just do like I tell you.
46
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:05,354
(Theodore)
Morning, Arthur.
47
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:06,415
(Arthur)
Morning, Ted.
48
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,053
Miss Monica's
having another funeral.
49
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,794
What, again?
50
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,063
Oscar, poor fellow.
Passed away.
51
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:13,358
Too bad.
52
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,833
What did he die of?
53
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,561
Croup, I guess.
As usual.
54
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:20,696
Sooner or later they're gonna
have to get somebody to take care of Monica Laughton.
55
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,804
It's dangerous her living
the way she does...
56
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,506
all alone with all that money
in the house.
57
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,478
(Theodore)
Some folks don't reckon there's all that much money.
58
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,278
(Arthur)
She don't ever go to bank.
59
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:33,250
She don't ever get any mail
except what she writes to herself.
60
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:34,809
The money don't ever seem
to give out.
61
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,078
She don't spend much.
62
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,416
Maybe it's nearly all gone.
63
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,290
Don't you believe it, man.
64
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:42,489
Monica Laughton's got a pile
of it stashed away somewhere right in that old house.
65
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,192
Maybe so.
66
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:48,094
When I was a kid they used
to say her fiancé left her near about a million dollars.
67
00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,434
So long, Arthur.
68
00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:53,401
He's already gone
to work.
69
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:54,533
Maybe I can call him
at the office.
70
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,097
No, forget that.
71
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:59,112
I got a better idea.
Get me the phone book, I wanna look up an address.
72
00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,165
Come on.
73
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,080
Frank.
74
00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:13,347
Now, Frank.
I wish you wouldn't be in such a hurry.
75
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:17,456
Now, if we have to do this,
I think we ought to wait until we get our plans all laid out.
76
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:18,890
Shut up.
77
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,055
I have the plans
all laid out already.
78
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,561
I'm from
the Historical Society...
79
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,555
and I want to look at
all the old rooms...
80
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,697
in this historical
old mansion, and that's all.
81
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:31,073
Won't they be happy
to have the Historical Society in the middle of a wake.
82
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,609
Good morning!
83
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,581
Good morning, Miss Laughton.
84
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,749
My name is Frank Bramwell,
and this here is my wife.
85
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:43,749
Bramwell. Bramwell? I see
you've brought your luggage. But I don't--
86
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,893
Well, we haven't
found a hotel yet, you see.
87
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,290
Oh, dear me,
you mustn't go to a hotel.
88
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:54,093
None of the family
ever go to hotels. What would you think of me?
89
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:57,004
No, we'll find a place
for you somewhere.
90
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,827
Come in. Come in.
Bring your bags.
91
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,037
Everyone is here
in the front parlor.
92
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,106
You'll want to see Oscar,
of course.
93
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,308
Bramwell? Bramwell?
94
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,740
Oh, of course.
Oscar's mother's people.
95
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:15,747
I declare, everyone's been
so long trying to forget Oscar's mother...
96
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:18,152
seems strange
to be trying to remember her.
97
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,089
My dears.
98
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,791
Here are
Mr. and Mrs. Bramwell.
99
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,963
Relatives of Oscar's
on the distaff side.
100
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,060
I don't want to go in there
with all those people.
101
00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:30,795
They are bound to find out.
102
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,730
Be quite.
Let me handle it.
103
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,626
Now.
104
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,638
Everyone is anxious
to see you after all this time.
105
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:42,312
It was good of you to come,
though a little unexpected, of course.
106
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:46,912
Now, these are
Oscar's cousins and aunts and things.
107
00:05:46,946 --> 00:05:50,476
Mr. Farrell, Miss Nelson.
108
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,887
Miss Larrabee.
109
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:57,086
Miss Furlong, Mr. May.
110
00:05:57,123 --> 00:06:01,803
Mrs. Archibald, Mr. Archibald,
Miss Archibald.
111
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,498
Master Archibald.
112
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:09,565
Miss Cecily Furness,
Mrs. Lorimer.
113
00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:11,342
Mr. Chalmers.
114
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,243
Mr. Farquahar, Mr. Pettigrew.
115
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,076
If you will sit here
on these chairs.
116
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:23,322
Would you move down one,
please, Mr. Farrell?
117
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:27,690
I'm afraid we've already had
the reading of the will, not knowing you were coming.
118
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,661
But it doesn't matter,
you didn't get anything.
119
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:33,189
I don't think
you were very close to Oscar, were you?
120
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:37,796
Of course, some people
have the funeral first, but we always do it this way.
121
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,771
Cecily, dear...
122
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:42,269
do stop crying.
123
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:47,212
Oscar has passed
to a higher life. Nothing will bring him back.
124
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,080
Perhaps you ought to go
to your room, dear.
125
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,275
Tippie.
126
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,148
You're getting fat
and lazy.
127
00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:01,855
You should go to the kitchen
and catch the mice.
128
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,834
Well, perhaps you'd like to go
to your room and freshen up.
129
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:10,461
Of course you'll want
to see Oscar first.
130
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:12,527
Come along.
131
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,395
He's probably
changed a good deal since you knew him.
132
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:20,907
He does look natural.
133
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,482
Doesn't he?
134
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:25,611
[titters]
135
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,483
Come along.
136
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:34,122
Oh, I forgot.
137
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:37,064
If anybody wants
a glass of sherry before lunch...
138
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,930
please help yourselves.
139
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:53,306
Really, it's difficult
to know what to do with you.
140
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:57,610
If you had telegraphed,
it would have been easier.
141
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:01,284
There now,
we'll find somewhere.
142
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:05,394
Last month when Adelaide died,
we even had cots in the hall.
143
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:08,046
Just a minute.
144
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:12,029
[whispering]
Frank, I'm scared. I mean, she's loony.
145
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,425
I mean you don't know
what crazy people will--
146
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,130
You're the crazy one.
147
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,231
This is the biggest break
we ever had. Just do like I tell you.
148
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:19,673
Come in.
Come in.
149
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,299
I'm going to put you
right in here.
150
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:27,135
A funeral is always so sad
when the deceased is young.
151
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,943
Ours were all young.
All young.
152
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,083
Oscar is next
to the last.
153
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,913
He was the best man.
154
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,678
Cecily was
the maid of honor.
155
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,651
Now they're all gone
but Cecily.
156
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,287
All the wedding party.
157
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,062
Wedding party, huh?
158
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,357
And, who was the bride?
159
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:46,792
Why, I was.
160
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:50,296
My fiancé was killed
in a carriage accident on the way to the church.
161
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:55,066
This is all I have left.
162
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,069
It was on the wedding cake.
163
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,142
Richard...
164
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,282
is gone.
165
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,690
Gone to glory, all of them.
166
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,719
Well, there you are.
If you need anything, just call.
167
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:19,625
We'll have lunch
a little early today on account of the funeral.
168
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:21,559
You come down
when you're ready.
169
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:28,172
She's put us in her own room.
Where else would the money be? Come on.
170
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,471
Start looking.
171
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:46,316
Frank, for the hundredth time,
I'm hungry.
172
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:47,693
Oh, shut up.
173
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,391
We'll find the money,
then we'll eat.
174
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,064
[exclaims]
175
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:57,699
You are untidy.
Must you scrabble through my room like monkeys?
176
00:09:57,731 --> 00:10:01,741
Where's the money.
That's why we're here, and that's what we're gonna get.
177
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:05,168
So you came only
after poor Oscar's money. You admit it.
178
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,265
Well, I told you.
He didn't leave you anything.
179
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,807
Oh, dear.
180
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:13,082
We'll straighten it up,
Miss Laughton. Is it time for lunch?
181
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,613
Lunch is over.
182
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:17,947
We had it
while you were up here hunting for Oscar's will.
183
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,754
I told you
we'd already read it.
184
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,187
Besides, why should he
leave it in my room?
185
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,363
Mr. and Mrs. Bramwell.
186
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:30,132
I don't think you're going to
add anything to the occasion. I think you'd better go.
187
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:34,873
If you need some money
I can let you have a little. What did I do with my purse?
188
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:38,041
Really.
This is terrible.
189
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,571
And the house
full of guests, too.
190
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,977
After all,
Elvira can't do everything.
191
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:50,322
Is it all right if we go
downstairs to the kitchen and get some lunch?
192
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:53,520
Certainly. I never refuse food
to anyone.
193
00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:58,455
Food! Food!
194
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:14,607
Can you beat that?
There's nothing in here but some stale cheese...
195
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:17,411
some old milk,
and a can of lard.
196
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,714
This ought to go tasty
with the cheese.
197
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:22,576
Look at that,
it's just about as old.
198
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,615
Frank, I can't stand it.
199
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:27,121
I'm going out and getting me
a hamburger.
200
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:28,923
Don't you go any place.
201
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:32,155
Don't you stick your nose
outside. We don't want anybody to know we're here.
202
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,404
Maybe she really
hasn't got any money.
203
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:40,169
Don't believe that.
Did you see the flowers around that coffin?
204
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,670
Straight from the florist.
And this house and furniture?
205
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,642
And her jewelry, don't forget.
206
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,871
Maybe that money
ain't in her room, but it's somewhere in this house.
207
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:49,436
But I am so hungry.
208
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,206
You always have to talk
about food? Here.
209
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:52,984
How can I talk
about anything else?
210
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,883
I haven't eaten
since yesterday.
211
00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:56,424
[telephone ringing]
212
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:00,951
Do be quite.
213
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,464
It knows I never answer it,
but it's so persistent lately.
214
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,831
I only had it put in
to please Oscar,
215
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,460
but now that he's gone
there's no need for it.
216
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:14,166
I told the postman
to tell the telephone company to come and take it away...
217
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,910
but they haven't done it.
I suppose they still ring up to argue about it.
218
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:22,178
I have decided
to postpone the funeral...
219
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:26,248
because I don't think
Oscar would like fortune hunters to be present.
220
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,919
So we won't have it
till after you are gone.
221
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,087
We'll have the dinner anyway.
222
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,116
We must try to bear up.
223
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,285
Now, let me see.
224
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:40,833
Melon first.
Then the capon, rice...
225
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,300
butter beans, salad.
226
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:46,629
I hope Elvira doesn't forget
the Roquefort.
227
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:49,796
Charlotte russe, coffee.
228
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:53,106
And the champagne.
Yes, we may as well have the champagne.
229
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,979
It'll comfort Cecily,
poor dear.
230
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,308
Oh.
231
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:00,506
Oh.
232
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:03,347
Now, while she's in there,
I'm gonna look in the parlor.
233
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,753
Not you. Stay in there
and keep an eye on her.
234
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,815
I don't want her getting out
and talking to anybody.
235
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:09,494
Till after
we get the money.
236
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,962
No, Lorna.
237
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,828
We don't want her
to talk ever.
238
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,301
What do you mean, Frank?
239
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,530
We don't have to--
Now, wait a minute.
240
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,936
We don't know anybody
in this town, and nobody knows that we're here.
241
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:26,069
Or that we have any connection
with Miss Monica Laughton. Right?
242
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,272
Hmm-mm.
243
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,407
So.
244
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,542
No, I don't like it.
245
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,347
What's the matter with you?
246
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:36,079
The only way we can get caught
is if we leave the old goof alive to talk.
247
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:39,392
You wanna take a chance like
that just for a dippy dame that don't know up from down?
248
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,089
Let me go.
249
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:44,891
It's just that
we've never been in anything like this before.
250
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:47,594
We are in it and we're
gonna go through with it, you understand?
251
00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:55,095
Look, that old dame,
she's lived long enough anyhow.
252
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,958
Frank. Frank.
253
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,801
Ladies and gentlemen,
dinner is served!
254
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,442
Will you take me in,
Mr. Bramwell?
255
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,868
Go on, just so long
as we eat.
256
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:37,712
Miss Laughton.
257
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,314
Thank you, Mr. Bramwell.
258
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,594
Come along, my dears.
259
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,420
Cecily.
260
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:51,385
You sit here
next to me, dear.
261
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,534
Mr. Chalmers, will you sit
on my other side?
262
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:58,201
And Mrs. Archibald, next.
263
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,596
Mr. May, Miss Archibald.
264
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,637
Mr. Farquahar.
265
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,073
Miss Furlong.
266
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:12,412
And Mr. Archibald.
267
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:15,915
Now, on this side
there is Mr. Farrell.
268
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,349
Miss Nelson.
269
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:19,524
Master Archibald.
270
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,164
Miss Larrabee.
271
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,587
Mr. Pettigrew.
272
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,090
Mrs. Lorimer.
273
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,733
Oh, yes,
Mr. and Mrs. Bramwell.
274
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,373
I thought you had gone.
275
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,313
Oh, well.
276
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,681
Just one moment, my dears.
277
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:49,853
Now, my dears,
you mustn't mind me.
278
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:51,483
Just go ahead...
279
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:54,788
and enjoy
Elvira's wonderful cooking.
280
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:59,486
The doctor has told me
I must be very careful for a while...
281
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:01,856
but I shall enjoy
watching you eat.
282
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,765
Yes, indeed, Mr. Farquahar.
283
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,942
Yes, the melons are
from our own garden.
284
00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:15,308
And I must say I think
they're the best we've had this year.
285
00:16:18,712 --> 00:16:20,082
[chuckling]
286
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:22,723
No, we just play at gardening.
287
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:26,149
But I will say this,
that what we do raise, is the best.
288
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:36,761
I think everyone
has finished now. You may remove the melon, Elvira.
289
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:41,126
I beg your pardon,
Mrs. Archibald, I didn't hear.
290
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,637
Oh, yes, indeed. Devoted.
291
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:47,910
Elvira has been with us
ever since I was just a little girl.
292
00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:50,841
No, thank you, Elvira.
No, you can't tempt me.
293
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,547
The doctor was firm,
very firm.
294
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,220
Just a little soup, he said.
295
00:16:56,249 --> 00:17:00,319
For a while.
Just a little soup.
296
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,163
You may bring in
the capon now, Elvira.
297
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,489
I'm going to help Elvira!
298
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,495
Thank you, Mrs. Bramwell.
But I'm quite sure Elvira can manage--
299
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,398
I'll just help Elvira
open this.
300
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,070
A most unfortunate young man.
301
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:19,672
Only a distant cousin,
I believe. On the mother's side.
302
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:24,713
[exclaims]
303
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:31,521
All those wonderful smells
were coming from just one can of soup.
304
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,921
I bet she's got the food
hid someplace, like the money.
305
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,194
Hey, we got this.
306
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,322
[exclaiming]
307
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:41,527
Frank, open it.
I'm going crazy. I do need a drink.
308
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,931
I bet she's got
lots more of this hidden in the basement some place.
309
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,081
Oh.
310
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,079
It's vinegar!
311
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,581
She must have had it
100 years. It's turned sour.
312
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,523
I'm gonna kill that old--
313
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,149
Frank, remember.
She is not responsible.
314
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,594
That's all.
315
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,658
That's all I'm gonna take
from that old dame.
316
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:13,026
I'm going to go in there
and work on her right now.
317
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:17,603
Frank.
318
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:26,868
So you do have a safe.
319
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,266
All right, open it.
320
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,138
I said, "Open it."
321
00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:31,306
No.
322
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,814
I don't want you
pawing through my things.
323
00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:36,047
I'm gonna kill you
just for the pleasure of it.
324
00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:39,049
Now open that safe
and be quick about it.
325
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,045
Well.
326
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:45,057
I will open it,
if you promise not to destroy any of my private papers.
327
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:48,431
I promise! What do I care
about the papers? Open it.
328
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,801
Well, I suppose
the only way to convince you, is to open it.
329
00:18:59,072 --> 00:19:01,442
Really, this is
very presumptuous of you.
330
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,382
There. Now remember....
331
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:09,352
What's all this junk in here?
Where's the money?
332
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,022
Look at that.
333
00:19:11,051 --> 00:19:15,761
Fans, dance programs,
valentines. A safe full of moldy junk!
334
00:19:15,789 --> 00:19:17,789
[quavering]
Oh, how could you?
335
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,034
You promised!
336
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:22,026
You promised you wouldn't.
337
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,771
[crying]
338
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,569
Mr. Bramwell.
339
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,541
You have made me
very angry.
340
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:33,310
You are a man
without honor.
341
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,440
I have been trying
to forget you, but you have made that impossible.
342
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:40,406
I will never tell you
where anything is.
343
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:45,217
I will tell you only this,
that there is no money here for you.
344
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:46,791
You want to die?
345
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:53,129
If you kill me, I couldn't
possibly tell you anything, could I?
346
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,889
I'll kill you anyhow.
347
00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:58,368
Do as you please,
Mr. Bramwell.
348
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,798
Please refrain
from annoying my guests, if you can.
349
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:04,269
I'll kill them, too.
350
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,774
No! You mustn't!
351
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:11,244
If you don't tell me
where that money is, I'm gonna kill every one of them.
352
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:13,147
Every single one.
353
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:16,519
No! You mustn't.
You mustn't harm them.
354
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,949
[shuddering]
355
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:22,115
Give me till morning.
I must think.
356
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:23,915
You've had enough time
to think. Now--
357
00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:26,027
Frank, wait.
358
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,899
Now, it may take forever
to find it if she doesn't tell us.
359
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:33,729
Give her till morning,
I think you've really got her scared now.
360
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,638
Okay.
361
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,038
I'm gonna give you
till morning.
362
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:41,983
Then if you
don't dig up that money...
363
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:44,978
I'm gonna kill
every one of these people, and you, too.
364
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:50,751
Come on, Cecily,
time to go to bed.
365
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,489
Goodnight, everyone.
366
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:12,206
No, no, Tippie!
367
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:13,808
[mewing]
368
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,510
You've had all
you're going to have.
369
00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:19,253
You're positively bulging.
370
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,579
No. Besides, you know
you don't like cupcakes.
371
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,675
These are for the mice.
372
00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:28,358
Now then, you ought to
be ashamed of yourself, a great big cat like you...
373
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:33,388
letting the mice stamp
all over the kitchen as if they owned the place.
374
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:34,686
[Tippie mewing]
375
00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:36,728
Where did I put
that rat poison?
376
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,901
They may as well die happy.
377
00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:49,637
And they do love cupcakes.
378
00:21:52,212 --> 00:21:53,812
(Lorna)
Frank.
379
00:21:53,847 --> 00:21:57,347
Wake up. There's
the most marvelous smell coming from downstairs.
380
00:21:57,384 --> 00:22:00,294
- What?
- I think she's in the kitchen cooking.
381
00:22:07,060 --> 00:22:10,730
You go and play in the sun.
It's going to be a lovely day.
382
00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:11,904
Good morning.
383
00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:13,201
Is breakfast ready?
384
00:22:13,233 --> 00:22:16,073
Breakfast is over long ago.
Do you always sleep this late?
385
00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:18,969
Late? It's only 7:00.
Isn't there any more coffee?
386
00:22:19,072 --> 00:22:20,672
Oh, no.
I don't drink coffee.
387
00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:22,877
Elvira will probably find you
something to eat.
388
00:22:22,909 --> 00:22:24,309
Wait a minute.
389
00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:26,314
You've had all night
to think about it.
390
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:28,576
Now dig up that money.
No stalling around.
391
00:22:28,615 --> 00:22:29,915
Or I go in there
and kill all those people.
392
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:33,349
You're too late, they've gone.
I sent them all away last night.
393
00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:37,086
I told them it wasn't safe
with a lunatic like you in the house.
394
00:22:37,090 --> 00:22:40,190
What do you mean they're gone?
No, they ain't gone.
395
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:42,226
Frank, have you
gone crazy, too?
396
00:22:43,229 --> 00:22:44,329
Those are for the mice.
397
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:46,974
And so are you,
you old goof!
398
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,470
Do you dig up that money
right now, or do I use this on you?
399
00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:52,373
I haven't quite decided.
400
00:22:52,405 --> 00:22:54,905
I am going into the parlor
and talk to Richard.
401
00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:57,011
Maybe he'd like me
to join him.
402
00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:04,318
What did I tell you?
I knew she'd see it our way.
403
00:23:04,351 --> 00:23:05,351
[giggling]
404
00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:13,725
[exclaiming]
405
00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:22,771
Good morning, Theodore.
406
00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:24,672
Morning, Miss Monica.
407
00:23:24,704 --> 00:23:26,544
You had another death
in the family.
408
00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:28,613
I'm afraid so, Theodore.
409
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:32,081
Most disconcerting. Especially
with no accommodations.
410
00:23:32,112 --> 00:23:34,082
Ma'am?
411
00:23:34,114 --> 00:23:36,084
I want you to take a message
for me.
412
00:23:36,116 --> 00:23:41,246
Tell Mr. Grimley
I want him to send me a new coffin right away.
413
00:23:41,287 --> 00:23:42,657
His best. His very best.
414
00:23:42,689 --> 00:23:43,819
A coffin....
415
00:23:43,857 --> 00:23:45,827
You want another....
416
00:23:45,859 --> 00:23:47,959
You had two deaths
in the family?
417
00:23:47,994 --> 00:23:50,634
Not the immediate family.
418
00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:52,633
Distant cousins.
419
00:23:52,665 --> 00:23:54,795
But we must do our best.
420
00:23:56,002 --> 00:23:59,942
Your bill.
Well, I'll pay it right away.
421
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,810
There's no hurry,
Miss Monica.
422
00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:05,311
I know I've got a $5 bill
here somewhere.
423
00:24:06,379 --> 00:24:08,949
No, I'm out again.
424
00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:13,049
Well, Theodore.
Take this $1,000 bill.
425
00:24:13,053 --> 00:24:15,523
You can bring me
the change tomorrow.
426
00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:19,185
Good gosh, Miss Monica.
You shouldn't keep all that money in your purse like that.
427
00:24:19,225 --> 00:24:20,825
That's an awful
lot of money.
428
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:24,700
It's the safest place
in the world, Theodore.
429
00:24:24,731 --> 00:24:27,731
It's the safest place
in the world.
430
00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,337
Good day, Theodore.
431
00:24:29,369 --> 00:24:31,069
Good day, Miss Monica.
432
00:24:40,513 --> 00:24:44,083
How well,
as the French tell us, [speaking in French].
433
00:24:44,117 --> 00:24:47,617
I thought rat poison
was charmingly appropriate, didn't you?
434
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:50,424
After all,
"Sweets to the sweet..."
435
00:24:50,457 --> 00:24:55,357
And, I can think
of no better time to segue into our next theme.
436
00:24:55,395 --> 00:24:58,925
After which,
I'll segue back to you.
437
00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:05,941
The opinions expressed
by my sponsor, are his.
438
00:25:08,942 --> 00:25:12,052
Those of you who wish,
may join us again next week.
439
00:25:12,078 --> 00:25:14,578
When we'll be back
with another play.
440
00:25:14,614 --> 00:25:15,454
Goodnight.
441
00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:18,953
* [Charles Gounod:
"Funeral March of a Marionette"]
442
00:25:19,003 --> 00:25:23,553
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