All language subtitles for Alfred Hitchcock s01e18 Shopping for Death.eng

* [Charles Gounod's
"Funeral March of a Marionette"] *

[door creaking]

[continues creaking]

There, that's better.
Much better.

The least we can do
is to provide the proper atmosphere.

This is truly
an extraordinary item.

Loud, squeaking fluid.

It is also excellent
at making old shutters bang...

and on dark nights
one can spray it in the air in case...

the wind isn't whistling
loud enough.

It's very practical, too.

It can make old shoes squeak
like new again.

Now that we have established
our mood...

I should like to tell you
that tonight's story is by Ray Bradbury...

and is known by
the provocative title of...

"Shopping For Death."

[tires screech]

[crashing]

Fifty miles an hour
along the main boulevard. He must have been crazy.

(woman)
Maybe he fell or maybe he jumped.

(woman)
One minute I saw him standing up against the window...

and then, I saw him
right between the window and the ground.

(man)
That's too bad.

Somebody left
a cigarette burning. That's what it was.

[people chattering]

A little thing like that.
Now look at it.

Look at
the whole darn building.

[children yelling]

There, 989.

[all chattering]

That's where she lives.
Come, Elmer.

Nice cold water.
Nice freezing cold water.

[children chatter]

Clarence,
why are we here?

Why drag me off
day after day in this hot, humid weather...

to accidents and crimes?

And now this infernal nonsense
about some woman I've never even met.

Why? We've got a job to do.
That's why.

We owe it to ourselves,
to society, to be here.

All our lives,
for almost 50 years...

we've been
insurance salesmen, right?

Right.
We've sold millions of dollars...

worth of insurance,
which has helped thousands of needy people, right?

Right.
Three months ago, we retired, didn't we?

We did.
But statistics prove--

That retired men die sooner
than men who remain active. Yes. I know.

But, I'm for
sitting on the sidelines.

Sidelines?

Elmer,
how can you sit by...

after seeing what you've seen
in the last three months?

Now, that accident
with the truck...

the man was driving too fast,
not watching where he went.

And the man
who fell 12 stories...

and the fire in
the warehouse...

because somebody forgot
to put out a cigarette.

All three of those men killed
by their own carelessness.

Why?

What's behind it?

I want to know.

I will know.

[children chattering]

There's so much
unhappiness around us.

How can we refuse to help
even though we are retired?

It's a little late to
help those men we saw. Two please.

Exactly.
But while there's time, we can help others.

Now this woman here
in this tenement:

To see her is to know her.
She staggers the imagination.

She's unbelievable.

So are we.

[groans]

89 degrees.

If folks around here
knew why we were here.

Peeping Toms,
that's what they'd call us.

[door shuts]

[baby crying]
There she is now.

(man)
Hey, have some mercy down there.

[shouts]

[baby crying]

You woke the baby.

All right. So I woke it.
It keeps me awake all night, don't it?

Kid yells all night long.
Get out of the way!

Come, Elmer. Quick.

Give me some ice cream.

I don't want that.
I want that one down there.

What's the matter,
you see something funny?

[laughing]

Come on, get out of the way.
What you doing blocking the entrance?

Hey, move over.

All right, move over.

What you think you got
a line here, or something?

I want a good hunk of meat.
Not too fat.

Yes, ma'am.

A good hunk.
Nothing spoiled. You hear?

Yes ma'am.
Yeah, the stuff you give me yesterday...

I give to the cat,
so don't give me no more like that. You hear?

No, ma'am.
All right, what do you got?

Isn't she classic?
Ever seen anything like her?

How about brains?
You got any brains? Yes, ma'am.

Let me see.

Give me some good, nice,
fresh beef brains.

And make sure
they're fresh, too.

I don't want none of
that yesterday's stuff. You hear?

Let's see
what you got there.

Are them beef brains?
I don't want none of them sheep brains. You hear?

All right, come on now.

Do me a favor,
keep your big fat thumbs off the scale this time.

All right, put a few more on.
Come on. What're you doing?

Who do you think
you're cheating, anyway?

Yes, ma'am.

"Yes, ma'am. No ma'am."
You smart aleck.

Look.

All right. Come on.

What are you standing?
You think I got all day, or something?

[knife clatters]

Smart aleck.

Yeah, thanks for nothing.
And charge it!

(butcher)
Yes, gentlemen?

[mumble]

I forgot the list.
We'll be back. Come, Elmer.

Goodbye.

[car honks]

[people chatter]

Now do you see how much
she needs our help?

She certainly does.

But let's get away.
She's a destroyer, she is.

No, Elmer.
Not a destroyer.

She wants to be destroyed.

Begs to be murdered...

and if we don't help her,
her name will make the obituaries.

Obituaries. No.
Front page headlines in the tabloid.

Look at her.

What you mean,
a pound and a half? It said a pound and a quarter.

Why don't you get
your scale fixed? Don't be so smart!

[car honks]

Hey! Look out where
you're going! You crazy in the head or something?

What's the matter with you?

Hey, come on.
Get out of here, kids. Come on.

Why don't you
go down the street and play?

Do you have to hang around
here all the time? Hey, you ain't got any homes?

Go on home!

I'd hate to have her
on my conscience.

There's only one way
to approach her.

Now I've studied her every day
for the past week.

The direct approach
is the only approach.

Come, Elmer.

[people chattering]

(woman)
That's a laugh!

(man)
Shut up!

(woman)
Hey, come on back here.

Where do you think
you're going?

You're gonna go to work,
I'll bet!

I bet you're going to
go across to that bar and get drunk! See if I care!

Shut up!
Shut up or I'll....

[thuds]

Right here it is.
Mr. and Mrs. Albert Shrike, apartment 321.

How fitting. What a name.

The butcher bird, shrike.

[woman yelling]

Listen to her.
And did you see the husband?

I've seen enough
and I've heard enough to make me feel like an old man.

I'm dying.
It's a miserable, hot, humid day.

Living in a tenement
on a day like this is living boiled alive.

In a steam room.

Why don't we open the door?
I'm dying of the heat.

Dying. Yes.

[baby crying]

Killing weather.

More murders are committed
at 92 degrees Fahrenheit...

than at
any other temperature.

Clarence,
I know the statistics.

Yes,
and the police do, too.

Come on.

[groans]

Under 90
men's tempers stay cool...

but right at 92 degrees...

we all turn irritable...

itchy...

out of sorts.

[groaning]

Hatred boils at this point.
The least thing...

word, look, or sound...

and irritable murder.

*[music playing]

No. Don't look at
the apartment numbers.

I'll bet we can find
her apartment without--

(woman)
Hey, stop them kids...

from running around up there,
you hear me?

(woman)
Hey, listen.

[object thudding]

Hello?

(woman)
What's the matter...

you can't give somebody
some peace down here once in a while?

Hello?

Listen,
you keep them kids quiet or I'm gonna call the police.

Now I ain't kidding.
You hear me?

And keep them quiet.

*[music playing]

What do you want?

We came to--
Come on. Speak up. I can't hear you!

Could you turn down
the radio?

Look, I ain't buying nothing.
So it ain't gonna do you no good.

Wait a minute.

I told you
to keep those kids quiet up there, didn't I?

[music stops playing]

Now, look,
I'm very busy...

so make your pitch.

My name is Clarence Fox.
This is Mr. Shore.

How do you do?
We're retired insurance salesmen.

I don't need no insurance,
so go on.

No. Money is not the reason
we came here today.

Yeah, where have I
heard that one before?

May we sit down?
I said I'm busy. I got things to do.

Thank you.

[people chattering]

You see,
now that we've retired...

we're trying to find a way
to save people...

profiting by the statistics
we learned while we were with the insurance company.

Too many people die before
they should, Mrs. Shrike.

You got me scared.

You see, we've thought we
might set up a new type of service to help sick people.

Who's sick?
I ain't sick.

But you are.
Hey look, don't tell me what I am.

You know, people can be sick
and not know it...

and our job is to
find those people and warn them.

Now, people are dying
every day.

Why? They get tired.
They're not careful enough...

and the result is
they really kill themselves.

I don't kill myself.
Not if I can help it.

(Clarence)
But you might.

Here, let me
show you something.

Now look.

Now you see,
this light bulb hangs right over the bathtub.

Now, its wire is frayed,
the insulation worn off.

Just one phone call
to the electrician...

and he would
see to it right away.

[baby crying]

Now watch. Watch.

[grunts]

Look. Look.

Here you are in the tub.

Wet from head to foot.

Now, you start to get out,
you slip, you grab.

So, one more person dead.

Clarence!
You must be careful.

Yes. Thank you.
Elmer, thank you.

Thank you.

You see?

You see,
people get lazy in their habits every so often.

They're not careful enough
about the way they do things.

What's the light cord
got to do with me?

I didn't make it that way.

No. No.
But you left it that way.

It could kill you.

So? So I'm dead.

So you're here for
the funeral early. Why?

Why?
Your place is a death trap.

Hey, listen there,
the landlord send you to check up on us?

No, no, no.

Here now. Look.

What?
This food should be in an icebox.

Haven't you ever heard
of botulism?

What's that?
Food poisoning.

Why, in this weather,
this heat....

91 degrees.

91 what?

Hey, what's the matter
with your friend? He been out in the sun?

Yes. Yes, we all have.

You have.
Everyone in this house has.

Your husband,
wherever he is...

right now he's getting
hotter and hotter.

Well, you ain't
telling me nothing.

[grunts]

[stammers]
Hey, listen, what you doing?

[stammers]
You going around the whole building...

all the rooms,
making speeches?

No, no.

What? You come here
to my room? Just to you.

[stammers]
Why? What for? What are you bothering me for?

I want to help you.

Yeah. That's rich.

Now please listen to me
before it's too late.

Now, we all
make mistakes in life, right?

Yeah.

We lose money, we get sick,
a million things happen to hurt us...

then we hate everybody.

Yeah. Now you're talking
my language.

We get mean.
Yeah, sure.

We turn so mean,
we make people want to hit us. Knock us down or worse.

Maybe even kill us.

Yeah. Go on, go on.

Could we open
just one window here?

I don't want
no window open in here.

[baby crying]

[stammers]

Have you ever heard the term,
"accident-prone"?

(Clarence)
It means people who are always falling down stairs...

breaking necks, arms, or legs.

(Clarence)
Now, your subconscious mind can make your hand slip...

and cut yourself.

It can make you
jaywalk in the street, and-and maybe get run over.

In other words,
each of us can be the victim of ourselves.

Well, what you do?
You go all over town looking for people like this?

Only in order to help them.

You follow people?
You watch them, huh?

Yes. To get facts.

One man I watched,
fell from a 12-story building.

Accident? No.

'Cause secretly
he wanted to die.

Another man forgot
to put out a cigarette.

Burned himself up.

Accident? No.

He wanted to die, too.

Evidence.
Evidence, I have lots of it.

Scores of dead, injured,
while I stood by...

and watched
unable to prevent it.

Yeah.

Now you been watching me?
Only in order to help.

What you doing?
You having a ball or something?

Crawling around
the tenement district, seeing how everybody lives?

Who do you think you are?
You come sniffing around here!

You don't like
nothing you see! You're stupid!

You telling everybody
what to do! "Open the window," you say.

"Let in a little fresh air."
Now open the window, you let in the flies...

and you're dead. You stupid!
"Turn down the radio" you say. Why?

Why? So I can hear
them trucks outside and the kids yelling?

Fix the leaky gas here. How?

You want to lend me the money?
I'll fix it.

Listen, I could fix
everything around here! I could fix the whole place!

I'll sweep the floor,
I'll make it real nice.

Sweep the floor
and I'll put on a nice clean dress.

Wash the dishes,
I'll comb my hair! I'll burn up all this junk!

Burn up
all the junk around here! Fix it all up real nice! Sure!

Anything!
I'm gonna fix it all up.

Only you got to
promise me something!

You got to do
one thing for me. You promise me one thing.

Anything.

Make me 20 years younger.
Can you do that, huh?

And take about 40 pounds off
that slob of a husband I got.

So he don't come home mad
or drunk or maybe both.

And fix up this here place.
Fix it up so I can't hear the neighbors...

next door, upstairs,
and down there.

[stammers]
And then give me one of them air coolers.

Or air conditioners,
so a person could sleep at night!

All during July,
August, and September!

I understand your problem.
Baloney!

You don't understand the nose
on your face! You stupid....

[baby crying]

What do you think
you know about me?

Come on.
What do you think you know?

I'm 45 years old.
Is that a crime?

I used to be 30 and then,
I was 20...

and I was nice looking then,
too.

No kidding. I could show you
some people that knew me then.

You're so stupid. You go on.

Tell me something about myself
I don't know already. Go on.

I don't know how to proceed.

Now come on!

You're so smart!
Tell me something I don't know!

Get out of here! Old man!
You dirty, miserable old man!

You need us!

I don't need nobody.
I give up needing nobody a long time ago!

But--

I don't need
no stinking old man following me around!

See here, now,
Mrs. Shrike!

Don't Mrs. Shrike me,
you old....

[exclaims]

Clarence! Clarence!

Please, Clarence, calm--

What you doing?

What are you
doing that for?

What's the matter?
You trying to kill me, or something?

I never done nothing to you!
What's the matter with him?

Is he crazy, or something?
He tried to kill me! Did you see that?

Let's get out of here.
You're a witness, you seen it.

[stammers]
He tried to kill me! That was almost murder.

Hey, murder!
Police! Hey, murder!

Did you see what I did?
I came so close.

So very close.

That poor woman. She's right.

I'm a fool. An old fool.

You better forget it.

Forget? How?

My pride didn't let me
save that woman.

My pride.

I treated her as a fascinating
kind of specimen...

when I should have seen her
as a lost soul.

A human being
in need of understanding.

All I had to do
was put my hand out to touch her.

She never would have felt it.
Wouldn't she?

We'll never know now.
And it's all my fault.

Maybe, we better go
to her husband.

No, Elmer.
No, it's too late.

Poor Mrs. Shrike.

Poor doomed woman.

I still think
we ought to talk to her husband.

Tell him how she feels.

[car honking]

Elmer. He wouldn't....

What's that hanging
from his belt in back?

A longshoreman's hook.

Elmer.

Elmer,
what's the temperature now?

Ninety-two.
Ninety-two degrees Fahrenheit right on the nose.

[siren wailing]

[people chattering]

You needn't sit there staring.
We're not going to show you anymore.

In fact,
I'm not even going to tell you what happened.

Television audiences
are becoming entirely too dependent.

You expect us
to do everything for you.

This oil is terribly difficult
to get rid of.

[creaking]

Next week at this same time,
I hope to see you again.

Good night.

* [Charles Gounod's
"Funeral March of a Marionette"] *

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