All language subtitles for Michael Everyday s01e03 Vomiting.eng

-Are you mad?
-[David] No, no, not at all.

Well, you appear to be annoyed.

Well, if I appear to be a certain way,
there's nothing I can do about that.

Is this because I'm seeing Claire?

Is what because you're seeing Claire?

Your perception of my annoyance?
I can't answer that question.

You know, we've only gone out,
like, twice-- once, really.

-Good.
-Nothing's happened yet.

-Good. Good for you.
-I like her.

I think we're ready for the kissing part.
I'm a little nervous.

You know what?
We're straying from the map.

-The what?
-Our map. We have a treatment plan.

We're working through your hierarchy
of fear-inducing scenarios.

-Yeah, but--
-I think it's time we tackled...

-Vomiting?!
-Your fear of vomiting

is increasingly becoming a problem.

Yeah, but vomiting's like a ten.

Now, there's an exposure we can do that
involves simulated vomiting in public,

but first I have some homework for you.

I want you to vomit
in the privacy of your own home.

Are you punishing me
because I'm seeing Claire?

No. Not at all.

We have a plan.
And we're sticking to the plan.

Yes, we could talk
about this relationship,

and the problems
that will inevitably arise,

and the motivations behind your decision

to date my bumbling receptionist,

but we can't lose focus
on what is important,

so take out your notebook,

and I'll tell you
how to make yourself puke.

-["Gotta Get Up" by Harry Nilsson plays]
-[alarm clock buzzing]

♪ Gotta get up, gotta get out ♪

♪ Gotta get home
Before the morning comes ♪

♪ What if I'm late?
Got a big day ♪

♪ Gotta get home
Before the sun comes up ♪

♪ Up and away
Got a big day ♪

♪ Sorry can't stay ♪

♪ I gotta run, run, yeah ♪

♪ Gotta get home
Pick up the phone ♪

♪ Gotta let the people know
I'm gonna be late ♪

-[voice recorder beeps]
-Vomiting is unpleasant.

Anyone would agree

only bulimics--

Though vomiting is unpleasant
for the majority of people,

the thought of vomiting

does not induce a panic reaction
in the majority of...

Uh, it's about control,
loss of control.

The fear of vomiting

for Miguel is a control-related...

-[voice recorder beeps]
-[phone beeps]

Claire, would you come in here
for a moment?

[door opening]

Come in.

-Come all the way in.
-["Air on the G String" playing]

Okay, you're seeing Michael socially.

We went to... Laurier House--

Sorry. You're not happy
about this, are you?

-No.
-Why?

-Why do you think?
-Because... um...

This, this feels like a test.

I'm afraid I'm gonna get it wrong.

You know intimate details about Michael.

You know intimate details
about all my patients.

And you're afraid that I will talk about
these things with Michael.

I would never do that.

-I, I swear to God.
-Okay, good, thank you.

Go, go and work.

It's particularly important
you don't tell him about the book.

Okay.

Michael doesn't know about the book
you're writing about him?

-No.
-Okay. Wow.

What?

He should know about it. Shouldn't he?

Yes, he will. I'll tell him
when it's appropriate.

Wow.

Stop saying "wow". There's nothing to
say "wow" about. I'm his therapist.

I'll tell him when it's
therapeutically appropriate.

-Just don't you do it. Understand?
-Okay.

Wow.

[sighs]

[voice recorder beeps]

The vomit exposure involves

simulated vomiting in a public place

to dispel his negative predictions

about how people will respond.

But first, and most importantly,

Miguel must reduce the anxiety

associated with the imagined
physical sensations of vomiting

through controlled,
self-induced vomiting.

[gagging]

[gagging]

Come on.

[sighs]

This is what I'm talking about: "The
hierarchy of fear-inducing situations was

revisited after the exposure, and wind was
no longer present." What the hell's that?

-Well--
-Passive voice.

You're making the object the subject
of the sentence. So, how about:

"Miguel conquered his fear of wind."

Seriously, how can anyone be
afraid of wind?

Oh, strong wind. He was afraid
that it would blow his hat off.

So?

Then he'd chase his hat around
like a French clown.

It was a self-esteem thing.

-We conquered it.
-Huh.

Jesus, I can't believe
he signed off on this thing.

Last night was good.

-The sex we had, I mean.
-We had good sex last night.

Passive voice.

Um, is the sex going
to be a regular thing?

Sure. Why not? We're adults.

We could, we could
still work together and...

We're working now, right?

We're two mature,

unattached adults who have sex.

We're sex buddies.

-Sex bunnies?
-Buddies.

Oh.

I know how you like
to label things, so... okay.

Uh, can we get back to the book?

Can, can, can we have sex tonight?
It's just...

Yes.

I'll, I'll just record Mad Men.

Excellent.

I love it here.
I come here all the time.

The house band, The Dangs,
have this, kind of,

New Pornographers
twangy pop thing going on.

-Oh, that's awesome.
-Oh, you want to go in?

-Yeah.
-That's not what I do.

-What do you mean?
-I usually stand here and listen.

It's really crowded in there,

and there's a lot of crowding
and breathing going on.

-You know what? Let's do this.
-No, that's okay.

No, no, no. I'm good. Let's do this.

We can stand at the back near the door.

That's great. I'm really excited.

[rock music plays]

-I wasn't ready. I'm sorry.
-That's okay.

No, I am ready, actually.

I'm just really stressed out right now
'cause I have to vomit.

-Oh, are you--
-No, no, no. I have to vomit for therapy.

I have to make myself throw up, and it's
stressing me out because I can't do it.

I can't stick my fingers down my throat.
How do people do that?

-I'm ruining this date, aren't I?
-No.

-I'm sorry.
-Do you want to go for coffee?

You're not afraid of coffee, are you?

No, no, not anymore.

-I'm a loser.
-[laughing] I'm a loser too.

I just don't talk about it.

You talk about your loserness
all the time.

It's healthy. Really.

-[sighing]
-[Sammy] Oh, God, it's good.

That's good. I like that.

I like it when my ass is grabbed.

Oh, God, seriously?
By whom? By whom, David?

Who do you want to grab your ass?

-You.
-Well, "Sammy, grab my ass".

See? Your ass is the object,
not the subject.

-I know, I know, I know. It was a joke.
-No, it wasn't.

-I was making a passive voice joke.
-No, you weren't.

-You just can't grasp the concept.
-Okay, it was an unconscious test

of your ability to compartmentalize,
and you failed.

-I don't compartmentalize.
-You failed miserably.

Okay, you know what you just did?
You just completely ruined the mood.

Just completely destroyed it
with your unconscious testing,

and I was so close--
just, like, seconds away.

Sammy, my brain would like my ass grabbed
by someone in the room other than me.

-For the love of God, just--
-Sammy, grab my ass.

That's it! Huh?

-Oh!
-Clarity turns me on, David.

[Claire] It doesn't bother me.
I did it a lot in, um...

in high school too.

I used to get drunk at parties...

and stick a spoon down my throat.

-[Michael] Ugh.
-Mm-hmm. You should use a spoon.

Nobody uses fingers.

-That's a good tip, actually.
-You'll do it.

You're imagining it's a horrible thing.
Actually it's not that bad.

It's kind of like, uh, childbirth.

It's never really as bad as you think.

You're younger than me
and you have a baby?

Yeah.

See?

Who's the big loser?

[on stereo] ♪ I drink concentrated OJ ♪

♪ I think
Consolidated is okay ♪

I was wondering
when you were gonna do that.

I've been taking it slow.
I could go faster.

-Do you want me to go faster?
-No, I like slow.

Slow is good.

[stereo] ♪ Coax me, cajole me ♪

-I want you to meet my baby.
-What? Oh, no, no, no.

I, I'm not so good with babies.
I might make it cry--or poop.

No, seriously.
This is a huge thing for me.

I want you to meet Sophie.

I'll even let you hold her.

Okay.

[Claire laughs]

[David] Fear of vomiting
can be terribly debilitating.

For Miguel, vomiting in public represents
the worst-case scenario.

Far worse than the physical sensation
or the loss of control

is the fear that
he will be repulsive to others,

confirming his core belief
that he is unworthy of love.

Okay, I'm gonna wait
for a group to pass,

and then I'm gonna take
a mouthful of water...

And then you're gonna pretend to puke.

And you observe their reactions.

-Your job is so weird.
-Ready?

Wait. I couldn't do the first part,
I couldn't make myself throw up.

It takes time. You'll do it,
and then you'll realize

that the physical sensation
isn't so bad. Ready?

Wait. Claire wants me to meet her baby.

-She wants me to hold it.
-Well, that, that's good.

-Good luck with that.
-I want to talk about this.

It just looks like you're spitting.

-Um, I'll add retching sounds.
-You don't want me to see Claire.

I can't tell you what to do,
that's not my job.

But if I had come to you for advice...

If you had asked me whether you should
have an intimate relationship

-with my receptionist--
-You would have said, "Don't".

I would have urged you--
not dictated, but urged you

in my professional capacity--
to ask yourself

whether dating her is
the responsible choice to make.

That's "don't"; you just used more words.

-[retching]
-Oh, my God. That was disgusting!

That was totally convincing!

Anybody notice?

-Well, a few glances maybe.
-Okay, you try it.

Make it real.

[retching]

Bleh... bah...

-[sputtering]
-Nothing. Two glances.

That's awesome! I really tried
to make it disgusting.

Okay, go again.
I'm gonna watch the crowd.

[retching]

-[coughing]
-What's wrong with people?

-We're puking here!
-This is not a significant event for them.

No one cares.

They're not gonna judge you.
If this were real,

the most likely reaction
would be an offer of help.

Do we have a problem here?

No, it's, it's all right, officer.
I'm a doctor.

[sighing and grunting]

[Sammy gasping] Ah! Ah!

Oh, God.

Oh! That was so worth skipping Bikram.

Oh! You're incredibly good at this.

-Yeah.
-Thank you.

No, don't thank me, David,
it demeans us both.

God, it's like an addiction.

Yeah. Um, for the record,

I need a few, uh,

a few hours between bouts.

"Bouts"? Seriously, huh?
Your choice of words... Um, okay,

well, uh, how many hours,
for future reference?

Uh, I don't know.
I've never actually timed it.

What are we talking, like 12?

-I can probably do four.
-Oh. Okay, I'll write that down.

Oh, oh! I want to switch gears
for a second here.

-Okay.
-I just need to get a sense

of the working environment
described in the book.

So would it be okay
if I dropped by your office?

You know, just so I could help you
paint a clearer picture?

Ah, oh, okay, sure.
You can come by tonight if you like.

Okay. Great.

[whispering] Oh! We can have sex there!

Okay.

Can we make it 7:30?

[TV] I'm sorry. I didn't know.

-[door opening]
-[Claire] Hi, Mom! I'm home!

Oh, my God...

I just put her down. You don't come

stampeding in like an elephant
when there's a baby in the house.

I'm sorry. This is my friend, Michael.

Michael, this is my mother, Alice.

-Hi.
-I just wanted him to see her.

Really? It's been such a struggle all day.
I just put her down.

It'll be fine. Just down the hall;
peek in the door.

But it's really not the best day
to be showing her off.

It's fine.

Uh, we could do this some other time.

-No, just go, go look at the baby.
-Okay.

Please... take your shoes off.

I'm just gonna change, and then we'll go.

[Alice] Oh, Friday:
gonna be a bit of a problem.

[Claire] What do you mean, a problem?

[Alice] Well, I forgot.
Helen is having her surgery,

and I have to be there when she wakes up.

[Claire] You can't.
I booked this with you last month.

-I have a dentist's appointment.
-[Alice] But I forgot.

[baby babbling]

[Claire] But didn't you write,
"looking after Sophie" in your book?

-[Alice] I did.
-[Claire] So?

[Alice] I wrote it on the wrong page.
So sue me.

[groaning in frustration]

This is going to be a problem.

I--You know, it's gonna need
weeks to reschedule.

My dentist is, like,
a superstar dentist, Mom.

Well, maybe you should be
going to someone else. Really.

-No, can you afford a superstar dentist?
-This isn't about money.

Well, I am just saying that you are
creating these situations--

You are bailing on me again.
How did I create that situation?

-By trusting you, Mom?
-I could watch her.

-What?
-I could watch the baby.

I mean, it's a dentist's appointment,
right? It's just, like, an hour?

No more than that;
It's just a check-up.

Ohhh! You so saved my ass.
I would have had to, you know,

pay if I cancelled. Thank you.
I'm gonna go change.

-[Alice] Who is this boy?
-[Claire] I told you. Michael.

He's a patient of Dr. Storper's.

[Alice] A patient. Ha!
That's very responsible.

[Claire] Oh, my God!

[Alice] That's a very
responsible thing to do.

[grunting and sighing]

[cell phone vibrating and beeping]

-[grunting and sighing]
-[object hitting the floor]

Again, I'm, uh, sorry I had to cancel,

uh, but there was a-- an emergency
with another patient.

A, a psychological emergency.

Um... [clears throat]

Would you like to have
a phone session later?

No, no. I, I'm okay.

Well, I am tense
about something, actually.

It's Claire, isn't it?
See, this is exactly--

No, it's not. It's nothing. It's fine.

-We'll talk on Tuesday.
-Okay. Um...

How's, how's the homework coming?

-I'm still trying.
-Well, if something else is

bothering you, you should think about that
while you're trying to vomit.

-Will that work?
-It might help.

[Claire on speakerphone]
Mrs. Bronfman's here.

Just a heads-up: she brought
her book of memories.

-Uh, thank you.
-[speakerphone beeps]

Um...

Okay, well, uh, I should go.

Again, I am, I am so sorry.

No, no worries. I'll see you on Tuesday.

[sighs]

[retching]

[retching] Oh, God...

-[retching]
-[splashing]

[sighing with relief]

[toilet flushing]

I did it.

That wasn't so bad.

The spoon's the key.
It's all about the spoon.

Puking is easy when you use a spoon.

Good day, brother.

[Mrs. Bronfman] May 23rd.
[sniffles]

What did I find on the kitchen floor

but a cock robin,

his red breast ablaze,

-posed with his legs akimbo...
-[clock ticking]

...like he was sleeping.

And where was Winkles
but in his sunny spot,

looking the picture of innocence.

But there on his blanket was
the smoking gun:

-a tiny wisp of robin down.
-[clock ticking louder]

He could hardly deny the crime, could he?

I said, "Winkles", I said, "how could you
kill the first robin of spring?"

And he looked up at me and mewed,
as if to say,

-[ticking stops]
-"I did it for you, Mama,

because I love you".
[weeping]

-Oh, God. I miss him so--
-That's enough of the book

of memories for today, Mrs. Bronfman.

Um, why don't you go into the restroom

and freshen up,

and we can continue talking about your cat

when you get back. Okay?

[David] I spotted them under the chair.

[Sammy] Ooh! Good. Mystery solved.

[David] What if Mrs. Bronfman
had found them?

[Sammy] I don't know.
Maybe she would have laughed.

She definitely wouldn't have laughed.
Her smile...

-"ran away with Winkles".
-What?

It's a quote from a book...

Look, I had to cancel
an appointment this morning

because, basically, I was hung-over,

which has never happened before.

And, and I'm, I'm sore, frankly.

Oh, you know, that's gonna happen.

Soreness. Right? After a dry spell.

I think we should...

The hedonism is great.

But we should dial it down. We should...

The buddy sex should be dialed down.

Okay, we should dial down
the buddy sex, right?

Passive voice again.

Or... stop altogether for a while,

get some perspective.

Okay. Fine.

Good.

[music playing on stereo]

Are you all right?

I don't know what I was expecting
with this whole sex thing. I just...

find it so hard to be with someone--

to be in a normal relationship.

Well, a lot of compromise is
necessary in a relationship--

Yes, and I hate that.

I don't do that well.
Am I a control freak?

I am? Yeah.

I... I don't want to be
in a relationship with you--

or, you know, with anybody.

Um, thank you. Thank you
for being the smart one.

Let's just take the night,
clear our heads,

and get together tomorrow,
and not have sex.

Yeah, neither of us want that.
Let's just be honest.

Anyway, I have this... lecture tomorrow:

Ancient Mayan Pottery.

I go to these lecture things
hoping to meet someone,

but, uh, what straight man
under the age of 70

really gives a shit
about ancient Mayan pottery?

Obviously I am not committed
to meeting a man. It's just pathetic.

Really pathetic.
Okay, save your receipt.

I will reimburse you on Monday.

[classical music playing
quietly on stereo]

Good morning.

Uh...

Can I say something?

What?

I know that you think
it's incredibly stupid

for me and Michael
to be seeing each other.

-And irresponsible, yes.
-Is it because you think it's stupid

to be involved with someone
who has so many problems?

Claire, I'm not in a position to--

Because he doesn't care about that.
He doesn't care about my crappy baggage.

He hasn't even asked
about Sophie's father yet.

Do you know how great that is?

I don't know, okay,
what's gonna happen with us,

but when we're together,
I don't feel like such a loser.

And that's really the only
reason to be in a relationship.

That's, that's what I think.

Okay.

That's all I have to say.

Oh, and Mrs. Bronfman called.

She's bringing videos.

[weak laugh]

Thanks.

[softly] Thank you. It's okay, baby.

[David] Miguel's fear of vomiting
is rooted in his control issues,

and has much in common
with his fear of flying

and fear of being
in the passenger seat of a car.

Cognitive behavioral therapy
has allowed Miguel

to experience the huge unburdening
that takes place

when one gives up control
either to a situation...

...or to another person.

The seeds of the cacao tree
were highly-prized

and used as a trade item

as well as being a symbol of wealth.

And, of course, they were used
to make a ritual beverage.

This pottery effigy censer
was found in Guatemala,

and you can see cacao seeds
adoring the back of the figure.

Can you see that at the back?

And in his hands...

Well, I don't know
if it's a male or a female figure,

but in its hands it holds the cacao pod.

Can you see this in the back?

And now, for the part of the lecture
that you've all been waiting for,

fertility, iconography,

of the pre-Columbian Mayan culture

of Mesoamerica.

-I vomited!
-Congratulations.

I used a spoon.
The spoon was the key.

-And was it horrible?
-No, it was nothing.

-And did you go crazy?
-No. Seriously,

this was the biggest contrast
I've ever experienced

between my imagined outcome
and the actual outcome.

-I could puke every day.
-That's good. Don't, but that's good.

Um, I'd like to talk to you about Claire.

I mean, I'd like you to talk about Claire.

About your relationship.

Really?

It's important to you,

and I shouldn't pick and choose
what we deal with here,

that wouldn't be right.
So I'd like you to tell me how it's going,

what it means to you,
how it makes you feel. Okay?

Okay.

I held her baby for a whole hour,

and the entire time,
I was covered in baby puke.

Wow. I, I am so proud of you.

[whimsical music playing]

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