All language subtitles for Michael Everyday s01e01 Small Talk.eng

-I'd like to start today.
-That's weird.

Yes, well, today is different.
Today is a special day.

Are you coming out to me?
I don't know if I can handle that.

-No, no, I'm not coming out.
-It's okay. I don't care.

I just don't think of you as a gay guy.

I'm not.
That's not what I was going to say.

Okay then what is it
that you're gonna say?

'Cause you're freaking me out a little bit
with this thing you're gonna say.

You first came to me 15 years ago today.

It's, uh, an anniversary of sorts.

Oh. Okay.

-[Michael] Is that it?
-How does that make you feel?

Uh... old and horrible?

Milestones like this are
an opportunity to recall our successes.

We've made a lot of progress together.

-Remember how you used to be with cats?
-Yeah, I hated cats.

-You like cats now.
-Well, I'm okay with them.

And buses.

Buses made me want to puke with fear.

-And how'd you get here today?
-Okay, okay.

So should we celebrate?

-Would you like to?
-I don't know. Uh...

do they make cakes for that?
Uh, therapy cakes?

-No.
-I was kidding.

I thought you were gonna come out to me.

-Would that have been a problem?
-No.

I bet you they have cakes for that though,

coming out cakes.

Pink icing.

-Yeah.
-Sparklers.

Little frosting bows.

Fruit on the inside.

Little bust of Judy Garland
sculpted in marzipan. [chuckles]

Okay.

Let's begin.

What's on your mind?

Are you gay?

-["Gotta Get Up" by Harry Nilsson plays]
-[alarm clock buzzing]

♪ Gotta get up, gotta get out ♪

♪ Gotta get home
Before the morning comes ♪

♪ What if I'm late?
Got a big day ♪

♪ Gotta get home
Before the sun comes up ♪

♪ Up and away
Got a big day ♪

♪ Sorry can't stay ♪

♪ I gotta run, run, yeah ♪

♪ Gotta get home
Pick up the phone ♪

♪ Gotta let the people know
I'm gonna be late ♪

Good morning.

♪ There was a time-- ♪

-[Claire] Michael's here, Dr. Storper.
-[Michael] My hands are getting sweaty

-and, and numb, and numb!
-Take a breath.

[exhales]

So, a girl at the bus stop
asked you the time.

-[Michael] Yes, exactly.
-Something like this happened in July.

The mailman talked to you.

The mailman! Yes, exactly. What the hell?

-I am not the mailman's friend.
-But this was worse?

Because it was a girl this time,
so there's all this sexual politics.

I mean, what,
does she want some witty reply?

Is that what she wanted?
What if I didn't say anything?

-Did she think I was gonna rape her?
-Well, I--

I resent this girl
for putting me in this situation.

I resent everyone I don't know
for talking to me.

-Small talk.
-Small talk, yes.

What the hell?

Well, it can be stressful.
You're with a stranger

so you feel vulnerable.

You fantasize violent responses
to trivial inquiries.

This is good, actually.
This is important.

Is there something that we can do?

Yeah, I know something we can do. Um...

-is tomorrow too soon?
-Uh...

tomorrow's, um...

-Yeah, okay, okay.
-Good.

Get out your notebook
and we'll discuss your expectations.

[David] M reacted negatively
when I told him

that we had been working
together for 15 years.

Predictably, he reacted with anxiety,

unable to see the big picture.

Perhaps he perceives his life
as a series of obstacles

a list that is ticked off.

More direct.

He sees his life... Therapy has given him
a perspective that few of us have.

He perceives his life
as a series of obstacles

a list that is ticked off

one item at a time.

Just reminding you
about Ledgerow Press at 2:00 pm.

Could you knock before you enter?

-Did I do it again?
-Yes.

I'm sorry. What's wrong with me?

I don't know. You have no...
I don't know.

Ledgerow Press, 2:00 pm.

Thank you.

Happiness is perha--

Is simply-arguably

the ability to function
while that list is being...

worked through.

Knock-knock.

How's life in the lair?

I got the chats.

I got the needs to chat
You got the chats?

Yeah, no, I, uh...
I don't get the chats.

Working on your pitch?
I finished mine.

It's all about the visuals.

Old, bruised faces.

I weep when I look at them.

Yours is, uh, pretty text-heavy
I see. No, that's cool.

Words are good. Words are old school.

Um... I have work to do, so...

Okay. I just wanted to stop by,

wish you good luck on the pitch.

Is... is that my mug?

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Aw, Jesus, Carlos.

You know you can wash those things?

[David] Happiness, for me,

comes easily.

Relatively easily.

Because I stop and

smell the roses because I am open

to smelling because life's roses

are available to me

because of relatively f-f-few...

cognitive obstacles.

Rethink that sentence.

I was trying something.
I, um... I've been musing more.

Did you notice? I don't know
how much musing is appropriate.

This is becoming an autobiography.

Well, it's--

You came to us with an idea
for a self-help book

-about phobias.
-It's evolving.

This is reading like a diary
the diary of a boring person.

I... I-I-I was trying for a kind of a...

-an Oliver Sacks thing.
-It's character

that sells biography, and you,
you're nice. You're a nice person.

You're just not a compelling--
You're not Oliver Sacks by any stretch.

Okay, now we're back to boring.

Hey, I'm boring.

That's why you don't see me
writing my autobiography.

Well... [clears throat]

clearly I'm wasting your time.

David, take a pill.
There is something here.

This guy, M. Your patient, M.

-Yes?
-He's interesting.

-Uh, he's fascinating.
-Obviously you think so too.

He's all over this thing.

But you need to give him a name you know,
to humanize him?

How about Michael?

Uh, how about, um... Miguel?

Latino? Interesting.

Wow. I did not see that coming.

You know, this relationship
between you and Miguel,

it's very touching.

The fact that you're always
there for him at any hour, it's lovely.

It's very sweet.

And he's crazy, so he makes
you interesting by association.

Yeah. I'm really I'm real excited
about this book,

and I'm excited about getting
inside that brain of yours.

We should go for lunch. Do you eat vegan?

What am I saying?
Of course he eats vegan.

Who are you?

Oh, this is Sam.
She's gonna be your editor.

-She's the best.
-Sammy.

I was expecting a beard.
Why is that?

Because it's a cliché?

He's funny too.

Not really.
That'll be your job.

Okay. Good. I can't wait.

Okay, let's review the steps
in this exposure.

-Step one: stop someone.
-A stranger.

-A stranger.
-Wait, what if it's someone that I know?

A stranger. Step two:
ask them what time it is.

-And directions.
-And directions to a store in the mall.

-Step three: thank them, move on.
-Jesus Christ.

You're not doing this today, remember.
I'm doing it. You're just observing.

-Are you ready?
-I'm gonna stay here.

-I'm gonna watch from over here.
-Okay, here we go.

Be careful.

Uh, excuse me. Do you have the time?

-Yeah.
-And do you know where...

-What happened?
-He told me the time.

-Was he pissed off?
-No.

And then I asked him if he knew
where Banana Republic was.

Did he notice that you didn't go
to the Banana Republic?

-No.
-Because he didn't care.

Exactly.

Okay, well, you got the ideal guy.

And he was a guy. So that's easy.

We'll do a girl together.

Normally I'd laugh at that sentence.

-You ready?
-Uh, uh, what am I gonna do?

Nothing. You're just gonna
stand beside me.

Uh, who am I in the scenario?

-Uh, you're my friend.
-Nobody's gonna believe that.

You're so obviously my psychiatrist

I might as well be wearing
a straightjacket.

-I feel sick.
-Pressure point.

I'm gonna stay a few steps behind you.

Okay. Let's go.

Uh, excuse me.
Do you have the time?

[girl] Uh, yeah. It's quarter after ten.

[David] And would you happen to know
where Sleep Country is?

No, sorry.

[David] Thank you.

That was awesome.

Sleep Country?
Where did that come from?

-It's a store.
-It's so risky.

She's a young girl, and you're asking her
about a mattress store?

She could read into it.

-Yeah, but she didn't.
-Yeah, well, I would.

-You want to do some more?
-Uh... I'm not gonna say anything.

No, you fly solo tomorrow.

Okay, I-I-I'm just gonna watch from here.

Okay.

Do a fat guy this time.

Fifteen years. Wow.

You must know every inch
of that guy's brain.

Is he okay with you, um, you know,
writing it all up in a book?

[coughing]

-Yes.
-Well, that's good,

because that would be my worst nightmare.
[chuckles]

Mmm.

Don't you love this?
It's so... so good.

So good for you mind
and for your soul, apparently.

Do you believe in God?
I know a guy who believes

that religion is just
a chemical reaction in your brain.

But he's a urologist.
He's my sister's husband.

Why would anyone marry a urologist?

Why would anyone be a urologist?
Are you married?

Divorced.

Divorcing. Right.

Yeah. Jas may have told me that.

It's funny, though.
You don't mention her in the book.

Is it nasty?

You know what?
I was basically divorced.

I was with a guy for four years and it was
a mutual dumping, but, you know-- Oh!

I suggest a ritual scrubbing.
This is what I did.

I stripped naked and then I scrubbed
three years of Andrew off my body.

It took me 45 minutes,
and I was very red from head to toe,

but you know what? I was free!

I have to go.

Was I too graphic?
I know I tend to be graphic.

-No.
-No, no, we got it. We got it.

-I talk too much. I babble.
-No.

-I do, I do.
-No, I wasn't saying anything.

So it seemed like you were babbling

just because you were trying
to fill the silences.

-There weren't any silences.
-That's because you filled them all.

-Uh, I have an appointment.
-Uh, couscous!

What?

Um, I'd like to cook for you.

I'm the queen of couscous.

I just have some specifics
with regard to the book

that I'd like to discuss with you-tone,
you know, that sort of thing.

Promise I won't babble about God.

Okay? Tomorrow?

[phone ringing nearby]

[people typing nearby]

Hey. Big day's coming.

Are... you... ready?

-♪ Duh duh duh duh duh ♪
-It's just a pitch, Carlos.

You know about the change of venue, right?

The what?

Yeah, we're not meeting in 3C,
we're meeting in 19E.

-Why?
-Because I requested it.

-Why?
-Because 19E has the highdef screen,

and there's multimedia involved
in my presentation.

-It can't be on the 19th floor.
-But it can.

-All it took was a phone call.
-It--

-I can't deal with that.
-[Carlos] Oh, the height.

It is freaky.

-It's not just that.
-Oh, the elevator thing. Right.

Well, I'll mention you in my pitch,
okay, buddy?

And I'll remind everybody of your...

problems.

Is that your mug too?

You should write your name bigger.

Lots of people. There's no rush.

Just... [inhales]
take your time and breathe.

[inhaling deeply]

[exhaling]

Okay. I'm gonna do the first part.
The time part. Just don't stand so close.

-I feel like you're gonna push me.
-Okay.

Uh, do you have the time?

No? Okay.

He didn't hear me.

You mumbled, you were ten feet away,

and you asked a child.
You are sabotaging this exercise.

I know, I know. Just let me do it.

-Okay, well, take your time.
-Back off.

Uh, hi. Uh, excuse me.

-Uh, do you have the time?
-Yes.

Nine forty-five.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

It worked. 9:45. He didn't care.

-That was awesome.
-Try again.

Okay, uh... I'll do an old lady.
I can handle old people.

[women talking]

Um, excuse me, miss.

You wouldn't happen
to know the time, would you?

-Uh, 11:30.
-Thank you.

That was hilarious. She said 11:30.
She has no idea what time it is.

-Keep going.
-Okay, uh...

I'll add the direction
and I'll go younger gradually.

[upbeat music plays]

♪ Ow! ♪

I'm sorry, do you know the time?

Oh, hi. Sorry,
do you know what time it is?

-It's just after 4:00.
-Oh, great. Thanks.

Uh, do you know
where the food court is?

-Here?
-Oh, yeah, right. Okay, bye.

Hi. Do you have the time?

[music continues playing]

This is blowing my mind.

Okay, you see that girl down there?

I went up to her, and I asked her if there
was a hardware store in this mall,

which there obviously isn't,
and she asked me the time.

She was wearing a watch on her wrist.
It's all a game, right?

-Right.
-So, we started talking.

I blurted out that this was an exposure

that I've been in therapy for 15 years.

And look: she gave me her number.

That-that's not the purpose
of this exercise.

But this is bonus.
"If you're honest with people,

there's a distinct possibility of sex"
is the bonus lesson.

-That's not the lesson.
-It's the bonus lesson.

Yeah, well, remember
that these exposures don't

address the underlying causes of anxiety.

I don't need that speech right now.
I feel really good,

and when I feel good, I feel like
I can handle all the stuff in my life.

And I got a lot of stuff right now
I got work stuff.

-Carlos.
-Carlos-related stuff, yes.

So, if I may, can I just feel
normal for like ten minutes?

Go for it.

Thank you.

[David] It was heartening--
thrilling to see...

Miguel master the exercise
to lose his fear.

We're cutting it close.

Pissing her off is not gonna
make it any easier.

[David] To realize that communication--

verbal communication-- is not
something to be feared.

We're talking fairness here, Aaron.

A reasonable standard of living.

The settlement is not in dispute,
and you're ignoring

the potential income from
this house as a rental property.

You're trying to change the
financial picture substantially...

Not to mention my client's
emotional attachment to the...

[solemn music plays]

I painted those pictures.
In case you were wondering.

I, um, I took an art course
a couple of years ago,

color theory... and, um,
after I was finished, I said,

"Okay, good, so I know colors.

So, um, why buy a print to put
above my couch when I can just, you know,

make my own that matches the rug?"

So I did.

[music playing on stereo]

They're good, I think.

Still waters run deep, David?
I don't know. Maybe not.

I'm sorry. I'm not very good
at this sort of thing.

Oh, really?
What sort of thing would that be?

Interacting with human beings?

I don't know what you want.

Well, why don't you just have a drink?

-I don't drink.
-Everybody drinks.

I just want to connect professionally.

I think there's a lot going on behind
those empty doctor eyes of yours, David.

And I don't need to know the details,
though part of me would love to know.

But I just think
if we're gonna collaborate,

we have to be able to talk, right?

-Well, what-- what do you want me to say?
-I don't know. I don't care.

Just put some words together. Just...

Take your time.

It was inhuman!
It was just me and Stacia and the lawyers.

We were fighting over the country house,

and it was horrible!

I couldn't even look her in the eye.
It was pathetic.

-No, no.
-Yes, it was pathetic.

I don't even know if I want the house!

-I'm sure it wasn't that bad.
-You weren't there.

-Trust me, I've been there--
-Just shut up.

It's a beautiful house, five bedrooms.

We had fabulous weekends there.
We had sex. I-- Sorry.

-No, please.
-Wild, stupid sex in the beginning,

and then frustrating,
functional sex for the last six years

when we were trying to get pregnant.

-Yeah.
-It was disastrous!

-I had a-- I had a varicocele.
-What's that?

It's an enlarged vein in the scrotum.

It's all taken care of.
They go in there and they... snipped.

-Ugh.
-She had, uh,

polycystic ovarian syndrome
with elevated levels of prolactin

-because of a pituitary tumor.
-Oh, my God.

It's nothing. It's nothing.
It just adds up to...

no baby, and six wasted years,

and fights, and lawyers, and...

I lo-- I-I-I-I love her.
I love her.

I think. Still. I do.

[music playing on stereo]

Thank you.

Thank you for...

sharing that with me.

You see? That's how it works.

You open up, you're honest with me,

and now we've connected professionally.

[music playing on stereo]

[Jasmina] ...told them that's fine
if they're in grade three

-and they like courses--
-[knocks]

I can't work with Samantha.

-Why?
-I would prefer not to.

We don't fit.

I would prefer to work with someone else.

-Arrange something.
-[cell phone vibrating]

Oh.

I have to go.

[David] Miguel sees his life as
a series of obstacles to be overcome.

But his life is simple.

Relatively simple.

He has no idea
how complicated life gets

when you actually engage with it.

It's a blessing, actually.

-Okay?
-Yeah. Thanks.

And I can take the stairs down.

Thanks.

[breathing deep]

[softly] Shit.

[cell phone vibrating]

-So, last week was a good week.
-Yes.

We had another victory.

-Your pitch went well.
-[Michael] Yeah.

Well, it was wordy, but, yeah.

So, how long?

How long what?

How long does therapy last?

When will it be over?

Oh. Well, um...

think of it this way,

when you're a child,
you go to the dentist,

and you continue to see the dentist

-until you--
-Die?

I mean, you take care
of your teeth your whole life.

Once a year. I go to the dentist
once a year maybe.

Not twice a week.

But it's a similar process.

You take care of your mental health
your whole life.

So it never ends.

Do you want it to?

Well... I'd like to think
that maybe one day I'll be cured.

Well, that's what I'm saying.
Your teeth are-- are never cured.

Well, our time is almost up, so--

Five more minutes?

Sure.

[whimsical music playing]

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