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1
00:00:00,845 --> 00:00:01,947
[dramatic music]
2
00:00:02,014 --> 00:00:03,684
- [electricity zapping]
- [grunting]
3
00:00:03,751 --> 00:00:06,790
♪♪ ♪♪
4
00:00:06,857 --> 00:00:08,594
[electricity zapping]
LAURA: Come on, bud.
5
00:00:08,661 --> 00:00:10,698
You don't slither into Delaware
from the Plorble Realm
6
00:00:10,765 --> 00:00:12,669
to hang out in the Hamboni's
parking lot, okay?
7
00:00:12,736 --> 00:00:14,171
- [electricity zapping]
- [yelping]
8
00:00:14,238 --> 00:00:16,075
- Why are you here?
- What's your plan?
9
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:17,411
[electricity zapping]
10
00:00:17,478 --> 00:00:19,181
More? Okay.
11
00:00:19,248 --> 00:00:20,552
[chain saw buzzing]
12
00:00:21,052 --> 00:00:22,622
- Spit it out, you goblin fuck.
13
00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:24,560
- Ladies' night!
14
00:00:24,626 --> 00:00:26,664
I'm finally getting you
out of the house
15
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:28,266
and into The Coconut Hole...
16
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:31,306
Frozen fireballs served by
bulging hunks in tight shorts.
17
00:00:31,372 --> 00:00:32,776
- Yeah, change of plans,
Darlene.
18
00:00:32,842 --> 00:00:34,278
I got my hands full right now.
19
00:00:34,345 --> 00:00:35,748
Bastards like this
keep showing up.
20
00:00:35,815 --> 00:00:37,484
I think they're drawn
to Chrissy or something.
21
00:00:37,552 --> 00:00:39,488
- Uh-uh, no more living like
you're in witness protection.
22
00:00:39,556 --> 00:00:41,192
You promised
tonight's the night.
23
00:00:41,259 --> 00:00:42,629
Chrissy's at her dad's
for the weekend.
24
00:00:42,696 --> 00:00:44,465
- Which means I actually have
a night to myself,
25
00:00:44,533 --> 00:00:46,302
and I'd rather not
spend it surrounded by
26
00:00:46,369 --> 00:00:47,906
spray-tanned lemmings
drinking daiquiris
27
00:00:47,973 --> 00:00:49,342
until their Cialis kicks in.
28
00:00:49,408 --> 00:00:50,410
- Listen, I get it.
29
00:00:50,477 --> 00:00:51,914
After my first marriage ended,
30
00:00:51,981 --> 00:00:53,416
I was terrified to get back
out there, leave the house.
31
00:00:53,483 --> 00:00:55,521
- I'm not scared.
- I have a routine and I like it.
32
00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:57,659
DARLENE: I'd make up excuses:
"Gotta fix a leaky pipe."
33
00:00:57,726 --> 00:00:59,362
- "I have syphilis."
- This is not an excuse.
34
00:00:59,428 --> 00:01:00,899
I don't have time
to dick around with dicks.
35
00:01:00,965 --> 00:01:02,268
- But then Tia Saltzman
36
00:01:02,334 --> 00:01:03,804
forced me
out onto the dance floor,
37
00:01:03,871 --> 00:01:06,644
and a phoenix Darlene
rose from the goddamn ashes.
38
00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:09,583
- Aah! I'll go out if you just
stop talking, okay, Darlene?
39
00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,252
- DARLENE: Yes!
- You, don't get cozy.
40
00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:12,656
I'm coming back for your ass.
41
00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:14,726
- Okay, one drink, though.
- Watch out, Middletown.
42
00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:17,398
It's Laura and Darlene's
big night out!
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- Title sequence.
- [sighs]
44
00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:19,569
LAURA: [groans]
45
00:01:19,636 --> 00:01:22,575
[dark music]
46
00:01:22,642 --> 00:01:25,480
♪♪ ♪♪
47
00:01:25,548 --> 00:01:27,585
- And then at 10:00 p. M.,
they sound a bullhorn,
48
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,322
and the first one
up the tiki pole
49
00:01:29,388 --> 00:01:31,827
gets a bowl of Everclear
poured in their mouth.
50
00:01:31,894 --> 00:01:33,063
Aren't you glad you came out?
51
00:01:33,129 --> 00:01:34,198
- There are two separate men
52
00:01:34,265 --> 00:01:36,402
masturbating
in two separate corners.
53
00:01:36,469 --> 00:01:39,041
- Ooh, cutie at five o'clock.
- Hot tip: Take his compliment.
54
00:01:39,108 --> 00:01:42,949
Then tease with a spicy
little secret about yourself.
55
00:01:43,016 --> 00:01:45,253
- Hi. Your soul is gorgeous.
56
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,757
- Thank you.
57
00:01:46,824 --> 00:01:48,761
You should see the scar
from the vaginal tear I had
58
00:01:48,828 --> 00:01:49,863
when birthing my daughter.
59
00:01:49,930 --> 00:01:51,232
- [whimpers, groans]
60
00:01:51,299 --> 00:01:52,969
- Jeez, that was
some sweet meat you just burnt.
61
00:01:53,036 --> 00:01:54,706
Maybe put some sugar
in it next time.
62
00:01:54,773 --> 00:01:56,409
- There won't be a next time.
- I'm out.
63
00:01:56,476 --> 00:01:58,547
- What? We just got here.
64
00:01:58,614 --> 00:02:00,350
- I did what you asked
and what I told you I'd do.
65
00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:02,354
If I stay any longer,
I will kill someone.
66
00:02:02,421 --> 00:02:03,557
- But you haven't even seen
67
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:04,726
the Kahlúa Crab Canoe yet.
[air horn blows]
68
00:02:04,793 --> 00:02:06,229
- Yeah, close me out
before I repaint
69
00:02:06,296 --> 00:02:07,732
the bathroom walls
with my brain.
70
00:02:07,799 --> 00:02:09,936
Hurry it up, asshole.
Need the fuck outta here.
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00:02:10,003 --> 00:02:11,540
EVERETT: Surely someone
with your disposition
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00:02:11,607 --> 00:02:13,310
would know a place with a motto.
73
00:02:13,376 --> 00:02:15,848
"Have a Hula-va good time"
would be a living disease.
74
00:02:15,915 --> 00:02:17,519
- And surely you're perceptive
enough to know
75
00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:19,388
hitting on me is a dead end.
76
00:02:19,455 --> 00:02:21,459
- I'm here merely
as a social observer,
77
00:02:21,527 --> 00:02:23,564
soaking in the waning
sexual rhythms
78
00:02:23,631 --> 00:02:26,069
of these septuagenarians
for my latest novella.
79
00:02:26,135 --> 00:02:27,706
- Uh-huh.
80
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,609
So how long have you been
a serial killer?
81
00:02:29,676 --> 00:02:31,446
- I'm... what?
82
00:02:31,513 --> 00:02:32,649
- The fishing line marks
on your hands,
83
00:02:32,716 --> 00:02:34,318
binocular indents
around your eyes,
84
00:02:34,385 --> 00:02:36,356
minor abrasions
on your forearm and cheekbone.
85
00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,159
Last one put up a fight?
86
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:39,863
And either you're Forrest Gump,
or...
87
00:02:39,930 --> 00:02:44,372
[inhales sharply]
Ooh, yup, that's a billy club.
88
00:02:44,438 --> 00:02:46,309
- Two Marys, extra bloody.
89
00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:47,746
Who are you?
90
00:02:47,812 --> 00:02:51,052
- I'm just a single girl
looking for a fun night out.
91
00:02:51,119 --> 00:02:53,524
- Let me get that.
- No, no, it's on me.
92
00:02:56,229 --> 00:02:57,665
- Okay. [Laughs]
93
00:02:57,732 --> 00:02:58,734
Ketamine, really?
94
00:02:58,801 --> 00:03:01,205
You trying to murder me
or disappoint me?
95
00:03:01,272 --> 00:03:02,742
Mama's got the antidote, though.
96
00:03:04,378 --> 00:03:06,449
- Dog piss aftertaste...
- tromaxadam?
97
00:03:06,517 --> 00:03:08,921
[chuckles]
Who are you, my psychiatrist?
98
00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:11,459
- What's more obvious
is the needle up your sleeve.
99
00:03:11,527 --> 00:03:13,864
You'll never stick me
before I fry your balls.
100
00:03:13,931 --> 00:03:15,400
[Taser crackles]
101
00:03:15,467 --> 00:03:17,806
- Everett.
- Laura. Tell you what.
102
00:03:17,872 --> 00:03:20,410
I'll let you stab me once
to stroke your ego.
103
00:03:20,477 --> 00:03:22,882
- A single thrust
is all I'll need.
104
00:03:23,784 --> 00:03:25,187
LITTLE BOY PUPPET:
♪♪ They say my dad the devil ♪♪
105
00:03:25,253 --> 00:03:27,257
♪♪ Is a real evil fellow ♪♪
106
00:03:27,324 --> 00:03:30,097
♪♪ But that's just
a bucket of lies ♪♪
107
00:03:30,163 --> 00:03:31,432
BIG STRONG MAN PUPPET:
♪♪ Thanks, my little angel ♪♪
108
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,036
♪♪ You see the other angle ♪♪
109
00:03:33,103 --> 00:03:35,775
♪♪ I want what's best
for you and mankind ♪♪
110
00:03:35,842 --> 00:03:37,344
LITTLE BOY PUPPET:
♪♪ I'm the Antichrist ♪♪
111
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♪♪ And I'll sign the pact ♪♪
112
00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:40,551
♪♪ Because I love my dad ♪♪
113
00:03:40,618 --> 00:03:42,622
♪♪ Let's make a contract ♪♪
SATAN: [laughs]
114
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,726
BIG STRONG MAN PUPPET: In fact,
we can start right now.
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00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:46,095
SATAN: What a production!
116
00:03:46,162 --> 00:03:48,433
PUPPETS:
Maximus Dawnus, here we come!
117
00:03:48,501 --> 00:03:50,103
LITTLE BOY PUPPET:
I love you, Dad.
118
00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:51,673
- Boo!
119
00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:52,876
CHRISSY: Excuse me.
SATAN: Pardon me, pardon me.
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- [whistles] Hey, cabbie!
121
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- Get out of the way!
- [grunts]
122
00:03:55,414 --> 00:03:56,950
- I thought you were into it.
- Really?
123
00:03:57,017 --> 00:03:59,355
You thought I'd be into
a puppet propaganda show
124
00:03:59,422 --> 00:04:00,958
all about signing your pact?
125
00:04:01,025 --> 00:04:03,062
- You got me there.
- Playwright lacked subtlety.
126
00:04:03,129 --> 00:04:04,365
- [scoffs] I'm going home.
127
00:04:04,432 --> 00:04:05,735
- Home?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't go.
128
00:04:05,802 --> 00:04:07,572
- I wanted to spend
quality time with you,
129
00:04:07,639 --> 00:04:09,810
but obviously
that's impossible, so...
130
00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:12,047
- Aw, come on.
- Yeah, I have friends to see,
131
00:04:12,114 --> 00:04:13,183
homework to do,
132
00:04:13,249 --> 00:04:14,318
Great British Bake Off to binge.
133
00:04:14,385 --> 00:04:15,688
- Give me one more shot.
134
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,525
You think this was all
I had planned today?
135
00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:20,565
Oh, no, I got a whole afternoon
mapped out.
136
00:04:20,631 --> 00:04:22,869
You're gonna crap your pants,
you're gonna love it so much.
137
00:04:22,936 --> 00:04:24,940
Come on, baby.
138
00:04:25,006 --> 00:04:28,480
[dark dance music playing]
139
00:04:28,547 --> 00:04:30,016
LAURA: Smaller than I imagined.
140
00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:32,087
- I wanna make you wet
with your own blood.
141
00:04:32,154 --> 00:04:35,995
- I'm gonna open you up and see
how hard your bones are.
142
00:04:36,062 --> 00:04:38,466
- Laura? You decided to stay!
143
00:04:38,534 --> 00:04:40,337
You and your cutie
wanna head to 'Rokey in a bit?
144
00:04:40,403 --> 00:04:42,407
- Let's take this
someplace private.
145
00:04:42,474 --> 00:04:43,644
- Oh, getting right to it. Okay.
146
00:04:43,711 --> 00:04:45,615
Kind of a 180,
but do your thing, girl.
147
00:04:45,681 --> 00:04:47,151
Get that big old bass.
148
00:04:47,217 --> 00:04:50,190
LAURA: [grunting]
149
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,425
- Nice and tight.
150
00:04:51,493 --> 00:04:53,363
- [chuckles]
- I've been pulled tighter.
151
00:04:53,429 --> 00:04:54,733
[both grunt]
152
00:04:55,868 --> 00:04:57,171
LAURA: [grunts]
153
00:04:57,237 --> 00:04:58,941
EVERETT:
I know we just met, but...
154
00:04:59,008 --> 00:04:59,976
LAURA: [chuckles]
155
00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:01,947
EVERETT: What do you say
we go all the way?
156
00:05:02,014 --> 00:05:04,953
- Wow, and that's just
the tip, huh?
157
00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:06,155
[intense music]
158
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,661
[groans]
159
00:05:08,727 --> 00:05:10,631
- Oh, my God, I killed a man.
160
00:05:10,698 --> 00:05:12,100
- Darlene, why did you do that?
161
00:05:12,167 --> 00:05:14,639
- Well, I was saving you
Single White Female style.
162
00:05:14,706 --> 00:05:16,777
- I wasn't in trouble.
- I was totally fine.
163
00:05:16,844 --> 00:05:18,714
- I was doing a thing.
- Thing? What kind of thing?
164
00:05:18,781 --> 00:05:20,450
He was about to chop you up.
165
00:05:20,518 --> 00:05:21,954
- Yeah, that's what
serial killers do,
166
00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,724
but I was gonna kill him
eventually.
167
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,360
- I brought you out
to get you away
168
00:05:25,427 --> 00:05:27,899
from torturing monsters
in dark garages.
169
00:05:27,966 --> 00:05:30,538
And here you are in a dark
alley with another monster?
170
00:05:30,605 --> 00:05:32,307
- Oh, you're one to judge.
171
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,744
You lure innocent
Instacart shoppers
172
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:35,581
into your house
with candy and cheese plates.
173
00:05:35,648 --> 00:05:37,417
- How I please
those Instacart shoppers
174
00:05:37,484 --> 00:05:38,821
is a gift for everyone involved,
175
00:05:38,888 --> 00:05:41,325
and I want you to experience
that fun in your life.
176
00:05:41,392 --> 00:05:44,533
- No offense, Darlene, but you
don't know what I need, okay?
177
00:05:44,599 --> 00:05:46,402
[casts spell]
178
00:05:46,469 --> 00:05:48,841
- Okay, I'm actually great at
picking up on what people need.
179
00:05:48,908 --> 00:05:50,043
I'm an Aries.
180
00:05:50,110 --> 00:05:52,014
LAURA: Well, I need you
to guard the entrance
181
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,051
so I can clean up this mess
and head home.
182
00:05:54,118 --> 00:05:55,487
Stay here, and don't move.
183
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,159
[bird shrieks]
184
00:05:58,226 --> 00:05:59,596
DARLENE:
Laur, I'm gonna be blunt.
185
00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:01,032
I've read enough Brené Brown
186
00:06:01,098 --> 00:06:03,336
to spot a self-saboteur
when I see one.
187
00:06:03,403 --> 00:06:04,639
- Darlene, what the hell?
188
00:06:04,706 --> 00:06:06,175
I told you to watch the door.
189
00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:07,512
Liquesco is a fragile
190
00:06:07,579 --> 00:06:09,649
and extremely powerful
compound, okay?
191
00:06:09,716 --> 00:06:11,620
It can open fissures
to hidden corners of the Earth,
192
00:06:11,687 --> 00:06:13,223
but if any type
of liquid touches it...
193
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,761
- [slurring] This looks like
as good a place as any
194
00:06:15,828 --> 00:06:17,030
to urinate.
195
00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:20,738
- No! Motherfu...
196
00:06:23,042 --> 00:06:24,546
- Ew. Ugh.
197
00:06:24,613 --> 00:06:25,715
How much longer
is this gonna be?
198
00:06:25,781 --> 00:06:26,883
You couldn't have just, like,
199
00:06:26,950 --> 00:06:28,554
blammo'd to us
to wherever we're going?
200
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,423
- You'd think they'd have
a better system by now,
201
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,127
but the only way to travel
to other realms
202
00:06:32,194 --> 00:06:34,866
on this plane of existence
is public transportation.
203
00:06:34,933 --> 00:06:36,402
- We're going to another realm?
204
00:06:36,469 --> 00:06:38,874
- The Metaphysical Realm
is just one of a shit ton
205
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:41,078
across the Demicorporeal Plane.
206
00:06:41,145 --> 00:06:43,416
Imagine this whole place
as a shopping mall
207
00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:45,988
and the realms
are like the stores in it.
208
00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:48,159
The one we're going to
is like Hot Topic
209
00:06:48,226 --> 00:06:50,263
but with fornication
and genocide.
210
00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:52,234
CONDUCTOR:
Next stop: Wibby Turkle Realm.
211
00:06:52,301 --> 00:06:53,804
Wibby Turkle, next stop.
212
00:06:57,812 --> 00:07:00,685
- I used to come here when
it was a genuine piece of shit.
213
00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:01,987
Now it's a tourist trap.
214
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:03,657
SELLER:
Get your Choochie tchotchkes.
215
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:04,759
Get your Choochie tchotchkes.
SATAN: Don't worry.
216
00:07:04,826 --> 00:07:06,362
I got us the VIP treatment.
217
00:07:06,429 --> 00:07:07,364
CREATURE: Welcome.
218
00:07:07,431 --> 00:07:09,769
CHRISSY: [gasping]
219
00:07:10,236 --> 00:07:11,372
NYMPH: [giggles]
220
00:07:11,439 --> 00:07:12,341
[flatulence] SATAN: Mmm.
221
00:07:12,407 --> 00:07:13,376
CHRISSY: Ugh!
222
00:07:13,443 --> 00:07:15,380
NYMPH: [giggles] Ooh!
223
00:07:15,447 --> 00:07:17,084
- Whoa, do I get to keep this?
224
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:18,520
I weirdly like it.
225
00:07:18,587 --> 00:07:19,889
You wanna give me a hint
of what we're doing here?
226
00:07:19,956 --> 00:07:22,227
- Let's just say
it's not a puppet show.
227
00:07:22,294 --> 00:07:23,831
[laughs]
228
00:07:23,897 --> 00:07:25,868
[cheers and applause]
ANNOUNCER: Welcome once again
229
00:07:25,935 --> 00:07:28,941
to the number one game show
in all the realms,
230
00:07:29,008 --> 00:07:32,815
the only show that killing
is legally required:
231
00:07:32,882 --> 00:07:35,487
The Realm of Realms,
232
00:07:35,554 --> 00:07:38,159
presented by Roach Automobiles.
233
00:07:38,226 --> 00:07:39,796
- What did you get us into?
234
00:07:39,863 --> 00:07:41,332
- You wanted you and me time.
235
00:07:41,399 --> 00:07:43,971
- No, like lunch or something,
not kill or be killed.
236
00:07:44,038 --> 00:07:46,409
- Chillax, we're not gonna bond
over a sandwich.
237
00:07:46,475 --> 00:07:47,712
Trust me on this one.
238
00:07:47,779 --> 00:07:50,250
ANNOUNCER:
And now your outstanding host
239
00:07:50,317 --> 00:07:54,024
and executive producer
of everything Wibby Turkle,
240
00:07:54,091 --> 00:07:57,030
the ruler who will fuck,
marry, and kill you,
241
00:07:57,097 --> 00:08:01,339
the one and only
Queen Inichoochiama!
242
00:08:01,405 --> 00:08:03,009
CROWD: Choochie, Choochie,
243
00:08:03,076 --> 00:08:04,746
Choochie, Choochie!
244
00:08:04,813 --> 00:08:06,783
INICHOOCHIAMA: [laughs]
245
00:08:06,850 --> 00:08:09,121
Hello, hello, hello,
246
00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:11,526
all of my stupid-ass
Choochie babies.
247
00:08:11,593 --> 00:08:13,196
Can I ask you something?
248
00:08:13,262 --> 00:08:14,799
CROWD: Yes, you can!
249
00:08:14,866 --> 00:08:17,304
- What do you want more than
anything in all the realms?
250
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,741
CROWD: We wanna fuck a corpse.
251
00:08:18,807 --> 00:08:20,377
- I can't hear you.
252
00:08:20,443 --> 00:08:22,014
CROWD: We wanna fuck a corpse!
253
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,149
- [laughs]
254
00:08:23,216 --> 00:08:25,821
I've got a heck of a show
for you tonight, babies.
255
00:08:25,888 --> 00:08:28,026
We have two very special vermin.
256
00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:29,963
Once an exterminator
on our show,
257
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:32,668
the baddest boy in town,
and one of my faves,
258
00:08:32,735 --> 00:08:34,506
welcome Satan.
259
00:08:34,572 --> 00:08:35,841
[fireworks popping]
260
00:08:35,908 --> 00:08:37,177
[cheers and applause]
261
00:08:37,244 --> 00:08:38,747
- How you doin', Chooch?
262
00:08:38,814 --> 00:08:39,849
- Well, now that you're here,
263
00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:40,885
I'd be lying
if I didn't say wet.
264
00:08:40,951 --> 00:08:43,189
- Eww!
- And he's joined
265
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,695
by his adorable
half-human daughter,
266
00:08:45,761 --> 00:08:47,364
Cringey Christ.
267
00:08:47,431 --> 00:08:50,003
- It's Chrissy! And Feinberg.
268
00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:51,940
- They'll be facing off
against our exterminators,
269
00:08:52,007 --> 00:08:54,378
the most powerful
and sociopathic creatures
270
00:08:54,445 --> 00:08:56,248
from all corners of the realms.
271
00:08:56,315 --> 00:09:00,524
Will our vermin survive,
or will they go bye-bye?
272
00:09:00,591 --> 00:09:01,727
[laughs]
273
00:09:01,793 --> 00:09:04,833
Let the games begin!
274
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:10,243
[both scream]
275
00:09:11,345 --> 00:09:13,984
- Ugh! What is this,
an open mic night?
276
00:09:14,051 --> 00:09:16,623
- The queen produces the most
craven torture chambers.
277
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,959
Ah, she's amazing.
278
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,596
CHRISSY: Anyone got earplugs?
I hate this song.
279
00:09:19,662 --> 00:09:20,798
CREATURE: [sings last note]
280
00:09:20,865 --> 00:09:22,735
- Up next is the improv troupe.
281
00:09:22,802 --> 00:09:25,373
The Whoopee Cushions,
doing a six-hour set.
282
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,712
- Holy shit, this is awful.
283
00:09:27,779 --> 00:09:29,983
- Can we get a song lyric
from the audience?
284
00:09:30,049 --> 00:09:32,254
- [roars]
285
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,289
- [yelps]
286
00:09:33,356 --> 00:09:36,262
[dark music]
287
00:09:36,328 --> 00:09:38,834
And... scene.
288
00:09:38,901 --> 00:09:40,838
- [roars]
- ANNOUNCER: Here comes Typhon.
289
00:09:40,905 --> 00:09:43,911
Remember, if it bleeds,
he can kill it.
290
00:09:43,977 --> 00:09:46,382
- If you think a death match
is how I wanna bond,
291
00:09:46,449 --> 00:09:47,819
you really don't know me at all.
292
00:09:47,885 --> 00:09:49,589
- Your human conditioning
has kept you
293
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,225
from tapping into the real you.
294
00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:52,227
This will help you let go.
295
00:09:52,294 --> 00:09:54,632
- No, this is
child endangerment.
296
00:09:54,699 --> 00:09:55,801
You messed up, Dad.
297
00:09:55,868 --> 00:09:57,772
- You're with an all-powerful
being, honey.
298
00:09:57,839 --> 00:10:00,143
Don't worry.
Trust your instincts.
299
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:02,648
- [screams]
- ANNOUNCER: Check, please.
300
00:10:02,715 --> 00:10:04,819
Don't forget
to rip your bartender.
301
00:10:04,886 --> 00:10:07,892
- What? This is your best move
as an all-powerful being?
302
00:10:07,959 --> 00:10:09,729
Suck my ass, old man!
303
00:10:09,796 --> 00:10:11,198
- [roars] CHRISSY: [shrieks]
304
00:10:11,265 --> 00:10:12,935
ANNOUNCER:
Someone get a breath mint.
305
00:10:14,438 --> 00:10:15,674
- Whoa!
306
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:18,146
- See, endangerment
has its benefits.
307
00:10:21,285 --> 00:10:22,622
CHRISSY: [yells]
308
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:25,594
[dramatic music]
309
00:10:25,661 --> 00:10:28,065
♪♪ ♪♪
310
00:10:28,132 --> 00:10:30,203
SATAN:
Daddy-daughter killing time.
311
00:10:30,270 --> 00:10:33,209
- That wasn't so bad.
- Only 23 to go.
312
00:10:33,276 --> 00:10:35,748
- 23? Okay, fine.
313
00:10:35,815 --> 00:10:37,217
Let's do it.
314
00:10:37,284 --> 00:10:38,921
- You son of a...
315
00:10:38,987 --> 00:10:40,356
biiiitch!
316
00:10:42,327 --> 00:10:45,200
- So is this, like, your,
uh, home away from home?
317
00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:46,970
- These are hidden pockets
on Earth
318
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,707
that most people
have no clue exist,
319
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,511
and this is
my little pocket, okay?
320
00:10:50,578 --> 00:10:52,147
[sighs] For junk.
321
00:10:52,214 --> 00:10:54,484
Shit, I used up
the extra Liquesco.
322
00:10:54,552 --> 00:10:55,921
Okay, plan B.
323
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,758
- Gotta admit, more skeletons
324
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,394
than I was expecting
to see tonight.
325
00:10:59,461 --> 00:11:00,764
- They were all pieces of shit.
326
00:11:00,831 --> 00:11:02,033
All right, can you shut up
for a second?
327
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,236
You got us stuck in this place.
328
00:11:03,302 --> 00:11:05,039
I need to focus
on getting us out.
329
00:11:05,106 --> 00:11:07,979
- I think the real issue is you
have this place to begin with.
330
00:11:08,045 --> 00:11:09,816
- We can't all rosé
the day away.
331
00:11:09,883 --> 00:11:11,686
It's called self-preservation.
332
00:11:11,753 --> 00:11:12,989
- You know, Laur,
one of these days,
333
00:11:13,055 --> 00:11:14,859
your stinger's gonna
sting you right back.
334
00:11:14,926 --> 00:11:16,161
- This is a guy
I used to torture.
335
00:11:16,228 --> 00:11:17,632
Don't say anything to him,
all right?
336
00:11:17,698 --> 00:11:18,700
- Mum's the word.
337
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:20,203
[banging]
338
00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:21,305
[objects clattering]
339
00:11:21,372 --> 00:11:23,009
- Oh-ho-ho, Laura!
340
00:11:23,075 --> 00:11:24,712
My favorite person
in all the realms.
341
00:11:24,779 --> 00:11:26,348
- Jesus Christ,
I wish you were dead.
342
00:11:26,415 --> 00:11:27,384
- [laughs]
343
00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,454
Oh, you said the same thing
last week.
344
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,991
- Last week?
- Darlene, Jimmy.
345
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,728
- Jimmy, Darlene.
- A pleasure.
346
00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:34,632
Did Chrissy like
that summer scarf I made her?
347
00:11:34,699 --> 00:11:36,335
It's hard to find
breathable materials.
348
00:11:36,402 --> 00:11:37,605
- I threw it away, asshole.
349
00:11:37,672 --> 00:11:38,674
You and your shit are worthless.
350
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,043
Now, give me the cape chisel,
351
00:11:40,109 --> 00:11:41,980
or I'll hang you
with your own nose again.
352
00:11:42,047 --> 00:11:44,418
- [laughs] Of course.
- I use it as a tea stirrer.
353
00:11:44,484 --> 00:11:46,021
- Oh, go fuck yourself.
354
00:11:46,088 --> 00:11:48,159
Now I just need
five milligrams of goofer dust.
355
00:11:48,226 --> 00:11:50,330
- You tortured him?
- He seems so nice.
356
00:11:50,396 --> 00:11:52,735
I wanna pinch his cheeks,
maybe pet his snorkel.
357
00:11:52,802 --> 00:11:54,171
That's not a sex thing, is it?
358
00:11:54,238 --> 00:11:55,708
- Don't, Darlene.
- Ugh, who am I kidding?
359
00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:57,077
I'm down either way.
360
00:11:57,143 --> 00:11:58,914
- Don't even talk to him.
- In fact...
361
00:11:58,981 --> 00:12:00,884
Oh, shit!
Shit, it's a goofer dust gust.
362
00:12:00,951 --> 00:12:02,354
I-I just... I gotta get in there,
all right?
363
00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:03,657
Don't move. Stay there.
364
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:06,362
[grunting]
365
00:12:06,428 --> 00:12:08,399
- Ah! Where are my manners?
366
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,769
Come on in.
367
00:12:09,836 --> 00:12:11,372
Let me get you
some Erberribble. [Chuckles]
368
00:12:11,438 --> 00:12:14,411
Sorry, that's what we call
urine-rehydrated bone powder.
369
00:12:14,478 --> 00:12:17,284
- Mm... fine, but I'm...
- I'm not allowed to talk.
370
00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:18,820
LAURA: Oh! Whoa!
371
00:12:18,887 --> 00:12:20,089
WORKER: The DMV windows...
372
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,893
- SATAN: [grunts]
- Dad, heads up!
373
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,931
- Oh, oh. NEPHILIM: [growls]
374
00:12:23,997 --> 00:12:25,668
CHRISSY:
Don't worry, I got you, Pops.
375
00:12:25,734 --> 00:12:27,705
SATAN: Chrissy, get in here!
376
00:12:27,772 --> 00:12:28,941
CHRISSY: Hey, Dad, stab me.
377
00:12:29,007 --> 00:12:30,711
- Oh, thanks!
- [grunts]
378
00:12:30,778 --> 00:12:32,782
- [roars]
379
00:12:32,848 --> 00:12:34,752
- I hope he was an organ donor.
380
00:12:34,819 --> 00:12:37,190
- He just got a license to die.
381
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,061
- Shit just got real... ID.
382
00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:41,465
- [laughs]
- That's the one to beat.
383
00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:45,608
- Man, I really do feel this
whole new connection to myself.
384
00:12:45,674 --> 00:12:46,710
It's like...
385
00:12:46,776 --> 00:12:48,479
- Beyond human comprehension?
386
00:12:48,547 --> 00:12:49,983
- Yes, totally.
- [screams]
387
00:12:50,049 --> 00:12:51,786
- Ooh, my Choochies.
388
00:12:51,853 --> 00:12:54,224
Our contestants
have savagely murdered
389
00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:56,161
every exterminator
who's crossed their path.
390
00:12:56,228 --> 00:12:57,798
Now, for their final challenge,
391
00:12:57,865 --> 00:12:59,936
an audience member will choose
the exterminator
392
00:13:00,003 --> 00:13:01,606
our competitors must face.
393
00:13:01,673 --> 00:13:03,242
So, Brad, who do you pick?
394
00:13:03,309 --> 00:13:05,013
- Queen, I choose
the Manananggal.
395
00:13:05,079 --> 00:13:06,048
- [gasps]
- BRAD: I wanna see Satan
396
00:13:06,115 --> 00:13:07,551
have a serious challenge,
397
00:13:07,618 --> 00:13:09,989
and I also love her cookbook,
Cooking with Carcasses.
398
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:11,425
SATAN: Gorgeous.
399
00:13:11,493 --> 00:13:13,697
- [shrieks]
- CHRISSY: She's a fucking bat!
400
00:13:13,764 --> 00:13:15,466
Shit! Dad!
401
00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:17,470
- [yells]
402
00:13:17,538 --> 00:13:19,776
[shrieking]
403
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,715
[exciting music]
404
00:13:22,782 --> 00:13:23,917
- And I'm just winging it.
- SATAN: Ow!
405
00:13:23,984 --> 00:13:25,086
- You okay, Daddio?
406
00:13:25,153 --> 00:13:26,756
- Oh, yeah, it's like wrestling.
407
00:13:26,823 --> 00:13:28,593
Gotta play to the audience.
408
00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:30,363
Pop's still on top. [Yelps]
409
00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:32,668
But scoot over here
and blaze this son of a bitch!
410
00:13:32,735 --> 00:13:38,479
♪♪ ♪♪
411
00:13:38,547 --> 00:13:40,083
ANNOUNCER: That's hot. [Laughs]
412
00:13:40,149 --> 00:13:41,686
Oh, it's sizzling.
413
00:13:41,753 --> 00:13:44,993
- Wow, I haven't seen anyone do
something like that since...
414
00:13:45,059 --> 00:13:47,297
- me.
- What was that?
415
00:13:47,364 --> 00:13:49,869
- You're tapping into the core
of your powers.
416
00:13:49,936 --> 00:13:51,940
They're not just a tool
you can use.
417
00:13:52,007 --> 00:13:53,442
They are you.
418
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:56,015
This is a taste of what
it's like to be all-powerful.
419
00:13:56,081 --> 00:13:58,820
- Whoo! Tastes pretty damn good.
420
00:13:58,887 --> 00:13:59,889
- Imagine how good it would feel
421
00:13:59,956 --> 00:14:02,427
to do this together
all the time.
422
00:14:02,495 --> 00:14:03,530
[cheers and applause]
423
00:14:03,597 --> 00:14:04,932
We won, baby.
424
00:14:04,999 --> 00:14:06,435
INICHOOCHIAMA:
I should have known.
425
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,509
- Chooch, honey,
what's happening?
426
00:14:09,575 --> 00:14:11,613
- I knew something was wrong
from the moment the show began.
427
00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:13,850
The Satan I knew could slay
a thousand enemies
428
00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,286
while taking a shit.
429
00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:18,092
I know why you're here,
and I won't let it happen.
430
00:14:18,159 --> 00:14:20,063
- What?
- Wh-what's she talking about?
431
00:14:20,129 --> 00:14:21,700
- [fingers snap]
- Don't listen to her, honey.
432
00:14:21,766 --> 00:14:22,902
CROWD: [gasps]
433
00:14:22,968 --> 00:14:24,404
- Wait, you can be hurt?
434
00:14:24,471 --> 00:14:26,208
- He's been losing power
for a long time now,
435
00:14:26,275 --> 00:14:29,181
and the only way for him
to reclaim it is through you.
436
00:14:29,247 --> 00:14:31,986
- That's insane, Chrissy,
and completely untrue.
437
00:14:32,053 --> 00:14:32,988
INICHOOCHIAMA: Think about it.
438
00:14:33,055 --> 00:14:34,826
You carried him this whole show.
439
00:14:34,892 --> 00:14:36,763
He desperately needs you.
440
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:37,998
SATAN: She's lyin'.
441
00:14:38,065 --> 00:14:39,869
She's been out to get me
ever since I stopped
442
00:14:39,936 --> 00:14:42,273
coming on her show
and schtupped her mother.
443
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,946
- Ha! Classic Satan:
Minimizing a powerful woman
444
00:14:45,012 --> 00:14:47,117
by calling her jealous
and out for revenge.
445
00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:48,486
No one wins my game,
446
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:50,758
especially if you fucked my mom.
447
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:52,060
CROWD: [booing]
448
00:14:52,127 --> 00:14:53,095
- If you wanna prove
to your daughter
449
00:14:53,162 --> 00:14:54,398
you have the power...
450
00:14:54,464 --> 00:14:55,734
[fingers snap] You must beat me.
451
00:14:55,801 --> 00:14:57,671
CHRISSY: Get me out of here!
452
00:14:57,738 --> 00:14:58,673
[grunts]
453
00:14:58,740 --> 00:14:59,909
- Come on,
454
00:14:59,976 --> 00:15:02,013
why are you really doing this,
Chooch?
455
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,917
- You know how it goes:
The bigger the death,
456
00:15:03,984 --> 00:15:06,021
the higher the ratings,
the sweeter the...
457
00:15:06,088 --> 00:15:07,157
- The sweeter the pussy, yeah.
458
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:10,497
- Release the Choochie Coochies!
459
00:15:14,137 --> 00:15:15,072
- So how do you know Laura?
460
00:15:15,139 --> 00:15:16,074
- Oh, well, we're neighbors,
461
00:15:16,141 --> 00:15:17,678
and I was hoping
we'd be besties soon,
462
00:15:17,745 --> 00:15:19,515
but it's a work in progress.
463
00:15:19,582 --> 00:15:20,349
- That's great to hear.
464
00:15:20,416 --> 00:15:21,351
Sometimes I worry about her,
465
00:15:21,418 --> 00:15:22,922
everything she's been through
and all,
466
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,057
- the whole Satan thing...
- Mm.
467
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,828
- Her childhood being
no picnic, you know?
468
00:15:25,894 --> 00:15:28,800
At her quinceañera,
the Titi Suzie cake debacle.
469
00:15:28,867 --> 00:15:30,236
- She tells you a lot, huh?
470
00:15:30,303 --> 00:15:32,307
- Deep down,
Laura's a good person
471
00:15:32,373 --> 00:15:34,377
and just wants to connect.
472
00:15:34,444 --> 00:15:36,649
[sighs]
I wish I were as good as her.
473
00:15:36,716 --> 00:15:38,119
- Oh, Jimmy, you are.
474
00:15:38,185 --> 00:15:40,958
You're such a kind,
good snorkel monster.
475
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:41,960
- You...
476
00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:43,797
[with deeper voice]
You think so?
477
00:15:43,864 --> 00:15:44,932
- Oh, my God, you kidding me?
478
00:15:44,999 --> 00:15:46,301
You got a great personality,
a house,
479
00:15:46,368 --> 00:15:47,638
what seems to be a job,
480
00:15:47,705 --> 00:15:49,976
and if the schnoz
matches the schmeckle,
481
00:15:50,042 --> 00:15:52,380
I'll call you the whole package.
482
00:15:52,447 --> 00:15:54,084
Uh-oh!
483
00:15:55,119 --> 00:15:57,591
- Aah! Oh, damn it, Darlene!
484
00:15:58,459 --> 00:15:59,529
- [roars]
485
00:15:59,595 --> 00:16:01,131
LAURA: I said leave it to me.
DARLENE: Oh!
486
00:16:01,198 --> 00:16:03,002
- Ego monsters are triggered
by compliments.
487
00:16:03,068 --> 00:16:04,839
- DARLENE: Ego monster?
- When I catch you,
488
00:16:04,906 --> 00:16:06,910
I'll turn you both
into trophies,
489
00:16:06,976 --> 00:16:09,181
because I'm a winner!
490
00:16:09,247 --> 00:16:10,383
- It would have helped
491
00:16:10,449 --> 00:16:12,153
if you actually
communicated that to me.
492
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:14,324
- Fuck yourself,
you ugly elephant asshole!
493
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:16,161
What good would that have done?
494
00:16:16,228 --> 00:16:18,265
I communicated I didn't
wanna go out tonight.
495
00:16:18,332 --> 00:16:19,769
I communicated
to watch the door,
496
00:16:19,836 --> 00:16:20,904
and you didn't listen.
497
00:16:20,971 --> 00:16:22,240
- You speak in fragments.
498
00:16:22,307 --> 00:16:23,577
It's never enough info.
499
00:16:23,643 --> 00:16:25,747
LAURA: [shouts]
DARLENE: Oh, God.
500
00:16:25,814 --> 00:16:28,018
And I brought you out tonight
because sometimes
501
00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:29,622
friends gotta force friends
to do things
502
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,460
they don't wanna do
for their mental health.
503
00:16:33,864 --> 00:16:35,199
- I missed deliberately!
504
00:16:35,266 --> 00:16:37,103
I hated that part of the ground!
505
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,673
I am so cool!
506
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:40,811
- This is exactly
why I don't have friends.
507
00:16:40,878 --> 00:16:42,681
I know what works for me.
508
00:16:44,384 --> 00:16:46,723
- This has been working for you?
509
00:16:46,789 --> 00:16:48,125
You'd rather deal with monsters
510
00:16:48,192 --> 00:16:49,427
instead of having drinks
with me?
511
00:16:49,495 --> 00:16:50,797
- At least I'd get a word in
512
00:16:50,864 --> 00:16:53,135
instead of being steamrolled
by some delusional optimist.
513
00:16:53,202 --> 00:16:54,572
- Oh, I think
he's getting tired.
514
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,043
- We're gonna be okay. Oh!
- What?
515
00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:58,312
- [roars]
- Oh, never mind.
516
00:16:58,379 --> 00:17:00,316
LAURA: "Oh, never mind."
Shut up, Darlene.
517
00:17:01,084 --> 00:17:02,755
- Chrissy, she's trying
to divide us.
518
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,391
We stick together, we're fine.
519
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:07,030
So break outta that bubble
and come help Daddy.
520
00:17:08,098 --> 00:17:09,535
Chrissy!
521
00:17:09,602 --> 00:17:11,004
- I don't know why I let myself
believe you again.
522
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,508
I'm such an idiot.
523
00:17:12,575 --> 00:17:14,477
You care more about this pact
than your own daughter.
524
00:17:14,545 --> 00:17:16,348
- Not true.
- Do you even like me?
525
00:17:16,415 --> 00:17:18,920
- Of course I do.
- What's my middle name?
526
00:17:19,354 --> 00:17:20,757
- Girl Satan?
- What?
527
00:17:20,824 --> 00:17:22,093
- I don't fucking know.
528
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,530
Okay, fine. All right.
529
00:17:23,597 --> 00:17:25,734
I brought you here
under false pretenses,
530
00:17:25,801 --> 00:17:27,103
but I do care.
531
00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:28,707
- No, if you did,
you wouldn't have put me
532
00:17:28,773 --> 00:17:29,809
through all this shit.
533
00:17:29,875 --> 00:17:31,245
You are so goddamn selfish.
534
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:32,982
Why can't you just
be honest with me?
535
00:17:33,048 --> 00:17:35,419
- Okay, okay.
- The queen is right.
536
00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:37,390
I have lost a little power.
537
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,996
When you were born, part
of myself transferred to you.
538
00:17:40,062 --> 00:17:42,968
I just want to make it
so no one can hurt us, honey.
539
00:17:43,035 --> 00:17:46,943
- Looks like the baddest boy
has become the saddest boy.
540
00:17:47,010 --> 00:17:48,345
How you like that, TV land?
541
00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:50,918
- Uh, is this part of the show?
542
00:17:50,984 --> 00:17:52,287
- Oh, I know you're impressed,
543
00:17:52,353 --> 00:17:54,992
because this is
objectively impressive.
544
00:17:55,059 --> 00:17:56,395
- This is why
your husband left you.
545
00:17:56,461 --> 00:17:57,965
- Ugh, typical Laura.
546
00:17:58,032 --> 00:17:59,635
I'm sure
your husband misses you.
547
00:17:59,702 --> 00:18:00,704
- Oh, Jesus, Darlene,
548
00:18:00,771 --> 00:18:03,375
you need to kill
his confidence, or we die.
549
00:18:03,442 --> 00:18:05,547
- Guess being toxic
isn't as easy for me
550
00:18:05,614 --> 00:18:07,651
as it is for you.
551
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,360
- Looking at your face
just jump-started my menopause.
552
00:18:12,427 --> 00:18:13,930
Yeah, I'm toxic, okay?
553
00:18:13,997 --> 00:18:15,934
Maybe I'm drawn to dark shit
because deep down,
554
00:18:16,001 --> 00:18:18,305
I think I'm too screwed up
for anything better.
555
00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:20,544
- [whimpering]
556
00:18:20,611 --> 00:18:23,048
Uh... snorkel monster?
More like...
557
00:18:23,115 --> 00:18:25,621
More like dorkel monster.
558
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,123
- Okay, I'm shocked
that one worked.
559
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,795
- Listen, I know I come off
as the perky neighbor type,
560
00:18:29,862 --> 00:18:31,231
but I can handle fucked up.
561
00:18:31,298 --> 00:18:32,935
- I don't think you can handle
this fucked up.
562
00:18:33,002 --> 00:18:34,371
Whoa!
563
00:18:34,437 --> 00:18:35,874
Your children never call
because they hate you!
564
00:18:35,941 --> 00:18:39,247
DARLENE: I only laughed at your
jokes to make you feel better.
565
00:18:39,314 --> 00:18:41,284
[whimpers]
566
00:18:42,153 --> 00:18:43,657
[both yell]
567
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,961
- I'm blasting us out of here
with this goofer dust bomb.
568
00:18:46,028 --> 00:18:47,665
Start slinging insults.
569
00:18:49,301 --> 00:18:51,739
- Laura trapping you here
is a gift to the world.
570
00:18:51,806 --> 00:18:54,210
My therapist told me everyone
has something to live for.
571
00:18:54,277 --> 00:18:55,914
Clearly she's never met you.
572
00:18:55,981 --> 00:18:58,953
I'd tell you to kill yourself,
but I'd feel bad for the knife!
573
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:02,193
- Holy shit, Darlene, maybe
you can handle this fucked up.
574
00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:03,830
- Yeah, I can, babe.
575
00:19:05,266 --> 00:19:07,403
- Come on, goofer dust,
do your stuff!
576
00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:10,544
- Hit the gas!
- Hold on, baby!
577
00:19:10,610 --> 00:19:13,382
- Hey, Jimmy, stick this
up your small snorkel dick.
578
00:19:13,449 --> 00:19:16,321
[laughs] LAURA: Whoo!
579
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,729
- Thanks for all
the constructive criticism.
580
00:19:19,795 --> 00:19:21,298
Have a good one, pals.
581
00:19:22,534 --> 00:19:24,939
- And this is the alleged
Princess of Darkness
582
00:19:25,006 --> 00:19:27,811
who is supposed
to bring upon Maximus Dawnus?
583
00:19:27,878 --> 00:19:29,214
[laughs] Look at this,
584
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,153
poor little bubble girl
can't even pop a bubble.
585
00:19:32,220 --> 00:19:35,894
CROWD: Death to Satan.
586
00:19:35,961 --> 00:19:39,535
- It's going to be fun
to watch you watch him...
587
00:19:39,602 --> 00:19:41,138
- die.
- [sobbing]
588
00:19:41,204 --> 00:19:42,775
INICHOOCHIAMA: [laughs wickedly]
589
00:19:42,841 --> 00:19:45,580
- [crying]
590
00:19:45,647 --> 00:19:48,920
[laughs]
591
00:19:48,987 --> 00:19:52,326
[dramatic music]
592
00:19:52,393 --> 00:19:54,699
[laughter echoing]
593
00:19:54,765 --> 00:19:59,909
♪♪ ♪♪
594
00:19:59,975 --> 00:20:03,583
[shrieks]
595
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,854
INICHOOCHIAMA: Ah, yes!
596
00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:11,766
CHRISSY: [panting]
597
00:20:14,638 --> 00:20:17,009
[sighs]
598
00:20:17,076 --> 00:20:18,613
- Hot diggity dog!
599
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,416
That went better
than I thought it would.
600
00:20:20,483 --> 00:20:22,821
Folks are gonna lose their shit.
601
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,124
You're a natural.
602
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:25,560
- Huh? SATAN: Well, this was
603
00:20:25,627 --> 00:20:27,765
kind of like
your debutante ball, you know,
604
00:20:27,831 --> 00:20:30,469
to introduce your savagery
to all the realms.
605
00:20:30,537 --> 00:20:32,306
- But you almost died.
606
00:20:32,373 --> 00:20:34,645
- Meh, nah, I wasn't gonna
actually die.
607
00:20:34,712 --> 00:20:37,316
I-I just wanted you to reach
your full potential,
608
00:20:37,383 --> 00:20:38,520
and you did.
609
00:20:38,586 --> 00:20:40,957
- If that's true,
that is so fucked up.
610
00:20:41,024 --> 00:20:42,528
- You're one to talk.
611
00:20:42,594 --> 00:20:45,834
I'm not the one who obliterated
an entire arena.
612
00:20:45,901 --> 00:20:47,403
You should feel proud.
613
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:49,675
Maybe we get some waffles
to celebrate or...
614
00:20:50,877 --> 00:20:52,480
You good?
615
00:20:52,548 --> 00:20:54,250
- No, I'm not good.
616
00:20:54,317 --> 00:20:55,352
I need a break.
617
00:20:55,419 --> 00:20:56,722
And if you wanna be my father,
618
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,760
you need to be honest
from the start.
619
00:20:58,827 --> 00:21:00,530
If not, I'm done.
620
00:21:03,402 --> 00:21:05,005
- Ow.
- [inhales sharply]
621
00:21:08,913 --> 00:21:11,051
[tender music]
622
00:21:11,118 --> 00:21:12,888
- Hey, thanks for getting me
out of the house tonight.
623
00:21:12,955 --> 00:21:15,392
- That's what girlfriends do
for each other.
624
00:21:15,459 --> 00:21:17,096
- Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
625
00:21:17,163 --> 00:21:19,702
- Been a long time
since I pulled an all-nighter.
626
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:22,841
- I'm still kind of wired.
- You wanna go...
627
00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:24,778
- To an underground casino
that uses Jell-O shots
628
00:21:24,845 --> 00:21:26,448
as chips and get in a fistfight?
629
00:21:26,516 --> 00:21:28,485
- I was thinking
more like a diner.
630
00:21:28,553 --> 00:21:30,122
- Oh, the place on Elm
serves drinks late,
631
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:32,528
and the waiters all look like
Patrick Swayze in Road House.
632
00:21:32,594 --> 00:21:34,832
- Darlene, you dirty old rascal.
633
00:21:34,899 --> 00:21:37,336
- [laughs]
- Oh, wait, hold up.
634
00:21:37,403 --> 00:21:39,575
[creature snarls,
bones crunching]
635
00:21:41,612 --> 00:21:42,915
Sorry, I just had
to kill that goblin.
636
00:21:42,981 --> 00:21:45,085
- Oh, yeah, that thing.
- Yeah.
637
00:21:45,152 --> 00:21:47,591
SINGER:
♪♪ Looking from a window above ♪♪
638
00:21:47,658 --> 00:21:49,929
♪♪ It's like a story of love ♪♪
639
00:21:49,995 --> 00:21:51,364
[Yazoo's "Only You"]
640
00:21:51,431 --> 00:21:54,137
♪♪ Can you hear me? ♪♪
641
00:21:54,204 --> 00:21:56,676
♪♪ Came back only yesterday ♪♪
642
00:21:56,742 --> 00:21:59,982
♪♪ You're moving farther away ♪♪
643
00:22:00,049 --> 00:22:03,623
♪♪ Want you near me ♪♪
644
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:07,063
♪♪ All I needed
was the love you gave ♪♪
645
00:22:07,129 --> 00:22:10,002
[heartbeat thumping]
646
00:22:12,173 --> 00:22:15,079
[thumping quickens]
647
00:22:15,145 --> 00:22:18,051
[suspenseful music]
648
00:22:18,118 --> 00:22:19,788
♪♪ ♪♪
649
00:22:19,855 --> 00:22:22,528
- [bird shrieks]
- You failed us!
650
00:22:22,594 --> 00:22:24,297
WIFE: You have no job, no dick.
651
00:22:24,364 --> 00:22:25,667
Get out.
652
00:22:25,734 --> 00:22:26,502
- No!
653
00:22:26,569 --> 00:22:27,638
[distorted] No!
654
00:22:30,577 --> 00:22:32,446
I know what I have to do.
655
00:22:33,482 --> 00:22:35,486
- Hold up, what?
- Yup.
656
00:22:35,554 --> 00:22:38,058
I'm gonna kill the girl
who shot my dick off.
657
00:22:38,125 --> 00:22:39,795
- Wow, so you no longer want
658
00:22:39,862 --> 00:22:41,999
to kill the Antichrist
to save the world?
659
00:22:42,066 --> 00:22:43,302
- Nope.
660
00:22:43,368 --> 00:22:45,607
I just wanna get her back
for getting my dick shot off.
661
00:22:45,674 --> 00:22:48,580
- You know, we've been friends
since we were in college,
662
00:22:48,646 --> 00:22:50,382
and you've always been
the guy who...
663
00:22:50,449 --> 00:22:52,521
BOTH: Purged the world
of demonic forces.
664
00:22:52,588 --> 00:22:54,190
- Yeah, that's changed.
665
00:22:54,257 --> 00:22:56,161
I don't know if you ever got
your dick shot off,
666
00:22:56,228 --> 00:22:57,598
but it narrows your scope.
667
00:22:57,664 --> 00:23:00,402
- I like this for you.
- It's refreshingly simple.
668
00:23:00,469 --> 00:23:01,672
- Thanks, Tony.
669
00:23:01,739 --> 00:23:03,743
Well, I should
probably head out.
670
00:23:03,810 --> 00:23:05,981
[slurps]
I've got a little girl to kill.
671
00:23:06,047 --> 00:23:07,684
♪♪ ♪♪
46462
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