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1
00:00:01,131 --> 00:00:02,611
PILOT: All right, everybody.
2
00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:04,395
We should be arriving
at Langley International
3
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:06,006
in just a few hours.
4
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,311
Thank you for booking your trip
5
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:09,661
with ValueVacay
package vacations.
6
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,359
ValueVacay--
7
00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:15,189
we don't offer refunds,
but we do offer apologies.
8
00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:17,495
I'm sorry for the smell.
9
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:21,325
Did you have
a nice vacation, dear?
10
00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:25,547
No! My cheap ass husband booked
an all-inclusive trip
11
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:29,638
with ValueVacay
to some Cancun shithole!
12
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,509
The trip didn't have to be bad!
13
00:00:31,553 --> 00:00:33,337
It's these lousy kids
that ruined it!
14
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:35,644
Like when Steve left the door
open and all those
15
00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:38,125
black spiny-tailed iguanas
came into the room.
16
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:41,650
I was airing things out because
Hayley blew up the bathroom!
17
00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:42,825
I was sick!
18
00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:45,045
That monkey put its finger
in my mouth!
19
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,003
You sucked on
that monkey's finger!
20
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,310
Mom told me to do it!
21
00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:52,008
I thought it was one of
those marketing monkeys
22
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,923
that promote new salsa flavors!
23
00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:56,839
Speaking of monkeys,
I don't wanna monkey around
24
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:59,102
with those black clouds
in front of us.
25
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,843
Then don't do it!
26
00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:04,847
PILOT:
It's too late, I'm sorry.
27
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:10,244
♪
28
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,723
Francine...
29
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,334
About our argument before...
30
00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:16,685
I booked this extremely budgeted
vacation package.
31
00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:18,034
It's my fault.
32
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,385
So I just want to say,
if we don't survive...
33
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:24,345
you also made a lot of mistakes
before this trip,
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00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:25,824
and I don't forget that.
35
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:28,958
Are you gonna bring up
the little Matt Damon movie--
36
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,525
Downsizing.
37
00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:32,744
You forgot to buy me a ticket,
so I had to sit by myself.
38
00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:34,398
You forgave me for that!
39
00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:35,617
I did forgive you.
40
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,271
I'm just remembering it now.
41
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,924
I watched from
across the theater
42
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:40,883
while you and the kids
laughed your asses off!
43
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,450
We weren't laughing!
44
00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:44,756
I don't think that movie
was supposed to be funny.
45
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:45,975
It was hysterical.
46
00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:47,585
Matt Damon was so small!
47
00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:49,413
It was pretty thoughtless, Mom.
48
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:52,068
Oh, you're calling
Mom thoughtless, Steve?
49
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,940
You let my Sims family
[bleep] die in a house fire!
50
00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,638
I was five!
51
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:59,249
They said the saddest nonsense
as they burned.
52
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,556
Let it go, Hayley.
53
00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:05,037
When you were five, you poked
a hole in my diaphragm,
54
00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:06,822
to disastrous result!
55
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:09,172
Five?
Do you mean me?
56
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,869
I'm a disastrous result?
57
00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:12,610
I like you now!
58
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:17,006
Please, we're all very scared,
and you're fighting so loudly.
59
00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:18,529
Why don't you just die,
old lady!
60
00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:20,314
[gasps]
61
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,272
PILOT: The engines are out!
62
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:24,492
- We're gonna be okay!
- [engine whines]
63
00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:27,799
PILOT:
We're definitely going to die!
64
00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:30,759
Sweet, sweet lightning,
I knew you would save me!
65
00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:35,372
I'm declaring this bird
a no-fly!
66
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,157
Everyone head to the back!
67
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:39,898
Francine, the week
we were married,
68
00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:41,639
you ate all the Golden Grahams.
69
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,075
PILOT: Excuse me?
70
00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:44,947
These are your parachutes!
71
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,644
You open them like this.
72
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:47,906
Oops!
73
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,256
I'm sorr--
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00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:54,043
[screaming]
75
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,307
STEVE: [gasping]
76
00:02:57,351 --> 00:03:00,223
Mom? Dad?
77
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,051
Hayley!
78
00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:07,143
♪
79
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,364
[coughing]
80
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:11,887
Steve!
81
00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:15,717
Oh, thank God we're all okay.
82
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,589
There's a lighthouse there.
Let's see if someone's inside.
83
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:23,377
I hope they speak Portuguese.
I'm two days in on Duolingo.
84
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:27,468
Holaaaa?
85
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,948
Which is "hello?"
86
00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:33,256
Seems like no one's been here
for a long time.
87
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,823
Lots of drinking water,
88
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:37,782
and about a thousand cans
of pumpkin pie mix.
89
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,741
All those canned food drives
90
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,744
where I gave delicious
pumpkin pie mix,
91
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:44,136
was that all going to...
92
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:46,138
lighthouse keepers?
93
00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:47,270
Gross.
94
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,098
This radio doesn't work.
95
00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:51,840
Somebody's bound to
come look for us.
96
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,581
Maybe once this fog clears.
97
00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,104
Could be a long wait.
98
00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:58,020
A chance to have some
quality time together!
99
00:03:58,063 --> 00:03:59,891
I can't say I liked
the plane crash,
100
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:03,068
but at least it put a stop
to all that silly fighting.
101
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:06,420
I, for one, am glad that we've
stopped all that silly fighting.
102
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,509
I'll tell you what isn't silly--
103
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:09,684
our love for each other.
104
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:10,685
A hundred percent.
105
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:12,513
The message is clear.
106
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,123
And yet...
107
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:17,518
I still remember the things
you all did that made me mad.
108
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,041
I'm thinking about them
right now.
109
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,261
I'm thinking only of
those things.
110
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,741
Right, it's like,
I'm glad you're all alive,
111
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:27,745
I just wish my Sims family
was alive too, you know?
112
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,225
My Golden Grahams.
113
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,402
I cannot be here
with you people!
114
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,709
There's not a single
book or magazine
115
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:38,539
or 4,300-piece limited edition
Lego London Tower bridge?
116
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:41,324
We have to sit around
staring at each other?
117
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:43,370
We don't have to look
at each other at all!
118
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:46,764
There's a TV/VCR combo.
119
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:47,939
And a tape!
120
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,941
Yessss.
Wait, what's on it?
121
00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:52,335
Some episodes of Murphy Brown.
122
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:57,384
MURPHY BROWN: Oh, this
newsmagazine is run by idiots!
123
00:04:57,427 --> 00:05:00,604
- [laugh track]
- [applause]
124
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,345
DAD: Whoa, Gold Top Nuts?
125
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,129
I want it to be a nice party.
126
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:05,827
It is the big game.
127
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:07,655
- [doorbell rings]
- My brother is here!
128
00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:10,222
But he roots
for the opposite team!
129
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:12,355
- My team's gonna win!
- [doorbell rings]
130
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,226
Hey, Mom, that's Tiffany.
131
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,793
I invited her over
for the big game!
132
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,317
Tiffany's here?
133
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,972
Hi!
I brought my boyfriend.
134
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:22,539
SON: Man!
135
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:23,975
- [doorbell rings]
- Honey, your boss is here!
136
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,239
Sorry to interrupt
the big game,
137
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:29,764
but I came to tell you
you're fired.
138
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:31,809
Oh, and give me that Gold Top.
139
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,768
[cheering]
140
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:36,248
I had a second can of Gold Top.
141
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,469
ANNOUNCER: Gold Top Nuts.
142
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:42,080
Give yourself the best.
143
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:43,778
That's all that's on the tape?
144
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,823
Aaand Murphy.
145
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,347
Cue Murphy.
146
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:48,435
Where Murphy Brown?
147
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,654
Ughh, we gotta get
off this island.
148
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:52,352
I'm gonna see
if I can fix the radio.
149
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:53,962
That's a dumb idea.
150
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,485
I'll just fix the big light.
151
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:58,183
I'm gonna write an SOS message
on the beach with rocks.
152
00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,446
And I'll help.
153
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:01,317
Ugh. Don't talk to me
while we do it.
154
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,886
You don't talk to me first!
155
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:10,413
[haunting piano music plays]
156
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:39,703
♪
157
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:43,054
- Hey.
- Yeah?
158
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,447
Were you gonna say something?
159
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,188
I, uh,
160
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:48,408
I don't remember.
161
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:50,410
Was I gonna say something?
162
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,500
[haunting music continues]
163
00:06:53,543 --> 00:07:15,565
♪
164
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,750
- Who are you?
- Who am I?
165
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,796
Who are we?
166
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:30,885
The only question, really...
167
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,800
in addition to all the others.
168
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:36,151
So none of us knows who we are.
169
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,979
But we are.
170
00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:39,371
We exist.
171
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:41,939
Agreed. Our existence
is unquestionable.
172
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:47,031
Listen to the sound
of my existence upon the ground.
173
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:49,947
And I know that
I am human, that we...
174
00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,427
are humans.
175
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,474
But what does it mean
to be humans?
176
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,867
I would like to posit something.
177
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:59,174
There is a lighthouse
over there.
178
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:02,525
If it contains other humans,
they might know who we are.
179
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,527
Or why we are.
180
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:05,702
Sure.
181
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,054
No one is here.
182
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,882
Someone was just here.
183
00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:14,581
They were eating
some sort of food.
184
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,105
Mmm.
185
00:08:17,148 --> 00:08:21,805
This is the only, and therefore
best food I've ever had.
186
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:24,155
They were building
some sort of device.
187
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:25,548
- And look at this.
- Look at what?
188
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,811
Seems like they go like this.
189
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,334
They're making
everything blurry.
190
00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,075
That's how everything is to me.
191
00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:33,991
Then now, I am like you.
192
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:38,518
[waves lapping]
193
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:40,563
Not much to see.
194
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:42,260
Where did all the people go?
195
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,045
Look at that!
196
00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:45,916
"H and E."
197
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,744
Who is "he"?
198
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:50,921
What if someone was interrupted
while writing "heaven"?
199
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:53,533
- Ooh, I like that.
- Ahh.
200
00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:54,751
Or "hell."
201
00:08:54,795 --> 00:08:56,797
- Hmm.
- Uh-oh.
202
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,450
Or "heggo"?
203
00:08:58,494 --> 00:08:59,626
What is "heggo"?
204
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:01,366
A third option.
205
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,282
Ugh!
206
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:06,676
I don't understand what
any of this stuff is.
207
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,505
But how are we going to get
answers to our questions?
208
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,854
Who are we?
209
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,769
Why are we here?
210
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:15,206
What does it mean to be human?
211
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,774
I hunger in my despair.
212
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:20,603
Where is can?
213
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:21,822
MURPHY BROWN: ...idiots!
214
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,954
[laugh track]
215
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:26,130
- DAD: Whoa, Gold Top Nuts?
- People!
216
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:27,567
MOM: I want it to be
a nice party.
217
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,133
- It is the big game.
- [doorbell rings]
218
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:30,874
MOM: Honey, your boss is here.
219
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,267
Sorry to interrupt
the big game,
220
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:34,617
but I came to tell you
you're fired.
221
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,140
This is humanity.
222
00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:37,359
This is culture.
223
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,795
ANNOUNCER: Gold Top Nuts.
224
00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:40,492
Give yourself the best.
225
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:43,626
Again.
226
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,063
DAD: Whoa, Gold Top Nuts?
227
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,848
MOM: I want it to be
a nice party.
228
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,501
- It is the big game.
- [doorbell rings]
229
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:50,590
MOM: My brother is here!
230
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,982
My team's gonna win!
231
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,680
MOM: I had a second can
of Gold Top.
232
00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:55,072
- [doorbell rings]
- MOM: My brother is here!
233
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:57,248
But he roots
for the opposite team!
234
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:58,685
[fast forwarding]
235
00:09:58,728 --> 00:09:59,860
SON: Tiffany's here?
236
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,122
Hi!
237
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,645
- I brought my boyfriend.
- SON: Man!
238
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:05,561
Tiffany's boyfriend
is something bad.
239
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,563
Gold Top is something good.
240
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,173
- [doorbell rings]
- My brother is here!
241
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,262
DAD: But he roots
for the opposite team!
242
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:14,004
ANNOUNCER:
Give yourself the best.
243
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:17,051
They have covered their bodies.
244
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:24,885
We look just as they now.
245
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,714
ANNOUNCER:
Give yourself the best.
246
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,846
Gold Top Nuts.
247
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:31,065
The best, correct?
248
00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:33,067
They are everything.
They are all.
249
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,938
How can we carry on
without them?
250
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:38,942
All we have is
the pumpkin pie mix, but...
251
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:45,775
Gold Top!
252
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:49,083
Gold Top! Gold Top!
Gold Top!
253
00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:52,042
- Gold Top! Gold Top!
- Look how human we're being!
254
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,783
Tiffany is a name.
255
00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:55,219
And what a name!
256
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:57,091
We need names.
257
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,006
My name is Can.
258
00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:02,792
My name is Lighthouse.
259
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,185
My name is Can.
260
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:05,447
We're doing it!
261
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,231
Gold Top! Gold Top--
262
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,537
Stop!
263
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,191
Is it Gold Top?
264
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,062
Are these names for people?
265
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:14,021
Let us turn to the tape!
266
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:15,718
It is the big game.
267
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,807
The one who puts out
the Gold Top first
268
00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:20,418
is always standing,
like I am now.
269
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:21,985
They are called Mom.
270
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,726
I take this name.
271
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,860
The one who is fired,
Mom calls it "honey."
272
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,644
I like this sound for myself.
273
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,602
I still like Can.
Call me Can.
274
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:32,300
- Call me...
- [doorbell rings]
275
00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:35,042
Murphy Brown.
276
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,699
Hi!
I brought my boyfriend.
277
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:40,830
- Booo!
- Hisss!
278
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,527
- [burps]
- Ugh.
279
00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:46,357
Your rude belch has entered the
room like Tiffany's boyfriend.
280
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:48,229
MOM: It is the big game.
281
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:50,318
Can, what is "the big game"?
282
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:52,799
It came to me in a dream, Mom.
283
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,844
Are you ready to see
the big game?
284
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,106
DAUGHTER: Hey, Mom.
285
00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:03,113
Ahh!
286
00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:04,419
[cheering]
287
00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,900
Excellent big game, Can.
288
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:10,338
You know what this fire
reminds me of?
289
00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:12,079
The fireplace that you see
in the background
290
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:14,342
when the dreaded Tiffany's
boyfriend comes in the door?
291
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:15,473
Yes!
292
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:16,866
The light in the sky,
293
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,999
that flashes like
the magnificent Gold Top seal,
294
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,304
has gone.
295
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:22,437
But the small lights...
296
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,526
FRANCINE: I think
they can only be one thing.
297
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,484
Other lighthouses.
298
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:29,531
What about the water
that is in every direction?
299
00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:31,794
How could we ever get up
to those lighthouses?
300
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,666
Obviously, the world is
an inverted, wet bowl,
301
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:36,364
dotted with lighthouses.
302
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:37,931
The further out you go,
303
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,498
the higher you climb up
the watery walls.
304
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:43,937
To understand the universe
is to control it.
305
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,504
[clears throat]
I have written a new story.
306
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:50,378
Once, there was a dark-haired
person whose name was Mom,
307
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,336
and she wanted to make
a nice party,
308
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,382
for it was the big game,
after all...
309
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,776
[quietly] Another
good one from Can.
310
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,650
A beautiful Gold Top day.
311
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:04,392
[rattling]
312
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,829
[ominous music plays]
313
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,439
- DAD: ...Top Nuts?
- MOM: I want it to be a nice...
314
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:10,528
- Look at this!
- MOM: It is the big game.
315
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:11,834
- Look at this!
- [doorbell rings]
316
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,314
MOM: My brother is here.
317
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:14,532
DAD: But he roots
for the opposite team.
318
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:19,059
Also, look at this!
319
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:22,192
The pain is a hundred
Tiffany's boyfriends!
320
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:26,936
One thing's clear-- this rock
is a very important rock.
321
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,938
Ooh, Gold Top's on!
322
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:30,157
Sorry to interrupt
the big game--
323
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,767
[sound distorting]
324
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,638
- No! No!
- What is happening?
325
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:39,035
It is gone.
326
00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:40,689
This is a sign.
327
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,778
- It is time to go.
- To where?
328
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,867
To the other lighthouses.
329
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,651
Murphy Brown is right.
330
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,262
There must be other lighthouses,
331
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,090
and they must contain
other people.
332
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:53,180
And maybe they don't have
our knowledge of Gold Top.
333
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:54,659
We must teach them.
334
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:56,705
We must... rule them?
335
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:57,837
Easy, Can.
336
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,577
It likely won't come to that.
337
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:00,840
It probably will, though.
338
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,060
It's ready.
339
00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:07,585
To new, identical worlds!
340
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:11,154
The waters ahead
may hold untold bosses
341
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:13,722
who seek to put us into fire.
342
00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,593
But by Tiffany herself,
343
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:21,251
we will have the second can,
and it will be a nice party!
344
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,862
So long, lighthouse.
345
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,428
You've been good to us.
346
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:27,344
Now, we must ration cans,
for it will be a long journey--
347
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:28,911
Another lighthouse!
348
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:31,348
FRANCINE: Told ya!
349
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,612
We bring word of Gold Top!
350
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:37,485
Kneel before Gold Top,
you heathens!
351
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:42,925
Uh, welcome to the Beacon Diner,
352
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:46,929
home of the best seafood
on the Langley waterfront.
353
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,583
Stan Smith, rewards member.
354
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:50,933
Need a no-reservation
table for...
355
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,935
my family.
356
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,806
Oh, my God.
357
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,634
Oh. Right.
358
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,898
Tiffany's boyfriend,
this is embarrassing.
359
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:02,684
SUZE: It's the fourth hour
of Morning Mimosa,
360
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:04,991
and Trish has fallen asleep
in her chair,
361
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:08,081
so it's time
for Liquid Lunch with Suze!
362
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:11,780
They're the local Langley family
that everyone's talking about,
363
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,956
surviving a harrowing
plane crash
364
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,958
and ending up
on an abandoned island
365
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:18,961
where magnetic bedrock
erased their minds.
366
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:22,617
What they got up to then has had
the whole nation laughing.
367
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,794
My guests today, for their first
television interview,
368
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:30,190
the Smiths, or as they've come
to be known, the Nuts family.
369
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,887
One of our conditions
in coming here
370
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,628
was that you not use that name!
371
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:35,456
You survived a plane crash!
372
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:36,979
- Which is incredible.
- [applause]
373
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,154
Thank you.
374
00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:39,721
All the other crash survivors
375
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,462
swam the short distance
to shore.
376
00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:45,683
Now, why on Earth did you choose
to swim to Magnet Island,
377
00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:47,033
famously shut down for making
378
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,296
all those lighthouse keepers
go insane?
379
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:52,212
We-- We didn't know
the island was magnetic,
380
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:54,301
and we couldn't see anything
with all the mist!
381
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:56,651
Yes, yes, before the island's
magnetic properties
382
00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:58,000
were discovered,
it was called Misty Island.
383
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,350
- Everyone knows that.
- They do?
384
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,700
Let's skip to
the ridiculous things
385
00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:04,746
you came to believe
on the island.
386
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:07,618
Well, we couldn't remember
what society was,
387
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:11,013
or who we were,
so we tried to figure it out.
388
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,320
By watching what?
389
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:15,104
This is the best part.
390
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,063
An old commercial
for Gold Top Nuts--
391
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:20,675
An old commercial
for Gold Top Nuts!
392
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:23,460
[laughter]
393
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:25,245
It's all we
had to go on.
394
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,508
Let's watch the commercial now,
and then we'll get into
395
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:30,728
the frankly hilarious things
you took from it.
396
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,252
DAD: Whoa, Gold Top Nuts?
397
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,689
This is great.
So funny.
398
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:36,212
Let's go over your dumb slang,
399
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:37,692
like the Tiffany's
boyfriend stuff,
400
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:38,867
and then maybe
talk about thinking
401
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,434
the sun is a Gold Top seal,
402
00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:41,870
and then maybe the kids
can demonstrate
403
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:44,220
that cuckoo
"big game" you made up.
404
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,787
Dad, I don't want to do that.
405
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,397
ANNOUNCER:
Give yourself the best.
406
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:51,227
So you guys watched this
commercial and your response
407
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,577
was to start
worshipping cashews?
408
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,144
You're making fun of us!
409
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,538
How about you wear your
daughter's headband as a diaper,
410
00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,844
and we'll feed you
some of these for the camera.
411
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:01,498
Have you had these yet?
412
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,326
None of that stuff matters
to us now!
413
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:04,893
You're being such
a brother-in-law,
414
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,547
like you're rooting
for the opposite team.
415
00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:09,071
- [gasps]
- This interview is over!
416
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,378
[audience laughs, applauds]
417
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:15,512
Up next, we have a marketing
monkey from Pace Picante,
418
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:18,733
and Tin Cup star
Rene Russo is here
419
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:22,693
to lick their
spicy, new salsa off his finger!
420
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:25,522
That. Was. Horrible.
421
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:28,264
We are famous for being weirdos!
422
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,399
Hey, Nuts family.
423
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,183
- [tires squeal]
- [horns honk]
424
00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:39,536
Hey, looney birds,
you like nuts so much,
425
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,408
how 'bout you [bleep] on these!
426
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,410
Do you even have nuts?
427
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:44,802
How dare you!
428
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:47,457
[crashing]
429
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:50,199
That's it.
No more TV appearances.
430
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:51,896
It's time to get back
to our lives
431
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,768
and put this nonsense
behind us.
432
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,900
But I can't stop thinking
about it.
433
00:17:55,944 --> 00:17:58,120
Why did any of it,
the plane crash,
434
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:01,558
the memory wipe, the commercial,
why did any of it happen?
435
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:02,907
That's island talk.
436
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:05,127
The word "why" is now forbidden.
437
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,086
Why, you ask?
Ya don't!
438
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,217
Stan's right.
439
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,132
We have to move on
with our lives.
440
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,134
Forget it ever happened.
441
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,267
And no nodding uneasily!
442
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,401
[bubbling]
443
00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:52,305
♪
444
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:55,134
[thud]
445
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:58,441
I know, I know.
I'm making it worse.
446
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:10,932
♪
447
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:13,935
[haunting piano music]
448
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:16,155
♪
449
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,591
So.
450
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,332
None of us can stop
thinking about
451
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:20,898
what happened on the island.
452
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:26,208
Steve you asked why,
and I think I know now.
453
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:29,255
Before the island,
we were fighting so much.
454
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:31,213
We thought we couldn't
forgive each other
455
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,476
because we couldn't forget.
456
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,957
But it turns out, if you forget,
457
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,873
then there can be
no act of forgiveness.
458
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:42,268
The answer, as much as
we've tried to deny it,
459
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:47,621
as embarrassing and strange
as it may be, was on that tape.
460
00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:52,234
If we can't fully forgive
and we can't fully forget,
461
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:57,805
then all we can do is offer
each other more kindness.
462
00:19:57,848 --> 00:20:00,895
We have to offer each other...
463
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:02,679
the best.
464
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:05,900
How I used to treat all of you.
465
00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:08,163
How I will treat you
from now on.
466
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:18,478
I'll put out
the good nuts for you.
467
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:22,743
♪
468
00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:25,876
Gold Top, Gold Top...
469
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,748
[growing louder]
Gold Top, Gold--
470
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,750
ROGER: I'm up in my room,
thinking about ice cream,
471
00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:32,100
wanting ice cream,
and then I remember we have
472
00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:34,537
that four-year-old
Soy Delicious.
473
00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,104
Lotta frost on there.
474
00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:39,150
Hey, I'm glad you didn't die
on that island or whatever.
475
00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:42,241
Mmm.
476
00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:44,678
Wow.
477
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,854
These are actually incredible.
478
00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:48,421
You should go buy
some right now.
479
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:50,423
ANNOUNCER: This has been
a paid advertisement
480
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,120
- for Gold Top Nuts.
- WOMAN:♪ Gold Top Nuts♪
481
00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:54,992
♪ You deserve the best♪
482
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:58,822
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
483
00:20:58,872 --> 00:21:03,422
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