All language subtitles for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. S02E16 The Dippy Blonde Affair.eng

Bring in the guards. I want this
truck loaded as quickly as possible.

Yes, sir.

Careful with this. I intend
to return Thrush property...

in the same condition it
was in when they put it here.

Well, doctor, it may not look much
like a Thrush laboratory anymore...

but I must confess,
I'll be very grateful...

to see some furniture
and paintings in here again.

Well, it's about that
time, isn't it, huh? Tsk.

Let's show Mr. Baldanado
what he's got here.

Oh, there you are.

Tell me, dear heart, why don't you
shake loose with a couple of bucks...

and hire a real
decorator to do this?

I mean, well, I don't mind
running around at the stores...

and picking out
fabrics for you, lover.

But after all...

my experience is not exactly in the
field of, uh, homemaking, you know?

Jojo, we are a little tied
up with business right now.

- Honey, why don't you...?
- Pendleton.

Oh, yes, sir. The moving
van is here, Mr. Baldanado...

and the equipment will be
on its way back to you and...

You recall Miss Tyler, sir.

She was with me at the Alpha
Section dinner party last month.

Ah, yes, yes, the
martini champion...

in the black sheath
dress, as I recall.

How do you do, Miss Tyler?

Uh... How do you do?

Yes. Yes, indeed.

Um, ahem. Harry, I still have
some more samples out in the car.

I'll...

I'll just be right back.

Dr. Segal, that box
you're hovering over...

I trust represents
some tangible results.

Results?

I will show you results.

You see, Mr. Baldanado...

to produce positive or negative
ions in any particular atmosphere...

well, that in itself is nothing.

But by inserting these in the
machine which you already have...

to magnify and
intensify those ions...

the effect upon any
victim would be absolute.

Very good, Dr. Segal. Very good.

Pendleton, I have four
competent engineers

here to help you install
those two spheres.

Thrush Central
expects the projector...

to be operative and in Hong
Kong by the end of the week.

I intend to meet that schedule.

I can have them installed by then, sir,
if I can get to the machine immediately.

Mr. Baldanado,
about my payment...

Goodbye, Dr. Segal.

This is Trailblazer. Illya?

Go ahead.

Well, the place is crawling with
creepy little thrush birds, all right.

One 30-caliber machine
gun outside the wall.

Another one on a tripod
halfway to the house.

Intelligence was right
about their using the place...

to develop components for
some sort of new weapon.

I just overheard the components are ready
and they're all set to ship them out...

wherever it is they've
got the weapon itself.

I would suggest that you
proceed, old bean, with alacrity.

All right?

Come on.

The unfortunate fact
remains, doesn't it?

What fact is that, Harry?

I mean, well, we've never really
discussed the technicalities...

of your business.

Precisely. You're not
a member of Thrush...

and I didn't tell you
much about it, of course.

But yet you've witnessed the
demise of our good doctor here.

So I'm sure you
won't blame me...

for wanting to ensure
your silence, as it were.

Now, wait a minute,
Harry Pendleton.

I may not have that funny little Thrush
bird of yours tattooed on my chest...

but I'm certainly
no blabbermouth.

Why, any guy I've ever
gone out with, I have never...

My men just captured themselves
a slightly battered enemy agent.

An U.N.C.L.E. agent.

If that means anything to you.

So now he'll have to be killed.

What is this all of a sudden...

with everybody killing
everybody all of a sudden?

I mean, well...
Well, last night...

we just went to the movies.

So I was thinking
that, perhaps...

I might take you into the
next room and let you kill him.

Well?

That would make you one
of our little Thrush family...

wouldn't it, honey?

Just like the rest of us.

Oh, Harry.

You see, my dear...

our personal relationship
notwithstanding...

either you do away with
that U.N.C.L.E. agent...

thereby committing yourself
and your life entirely to Thrush...

or you'll have no life at all...

sweetheart.

You two should study
each other closely.

I believe that when two people
are about to do something together...

they should at least...

observe the amenities.

Mr. Solo, may I present
your executioner.

- No. No, please, I can't.
- Oh, come on, sweetheart.

It isn't as though you've led such a
squeaky-clean life up to now, you know?

- You've been...
- I was never a murderer.

I never killed anybody.

All I was, was just
sort of a, heh, loser.

Honest fella.

You've got 30 seconds, Jojo.

You pull your trigger
once or I'll pull mine twice.

It's about time. What did
you do, walk all the way?

Say "uncle."

Come on, say it, you bumpkin.

Uncle.

All right, we have your men,
your house and your moving van.

- Now, if you'll just...
- Could you get his keys?

Could you do that, please?

Look, I'm not a part...

of any of this stuff that's
been going on. Really, I'm not.

Look, there's a hidden
compartment behind the bar...

in the room they're
always using as a lab.

Jojo.

I don't know what's in there.

But it's... It's in
a little black box.

And he killed the man...

who had it before.

So there.

Thank you, Jojo.

Oh, it was so awful.

The realization that Harry...
Oh, it's just too horrible.

Why, if my poor dead
mother ever knew...

that I got myself mixed up with a man
of such terribleness and criminality...

I don't know what she'd...

- "Jojo Tyler."
- What? What's that?

"Alias Jojo Barnes,
alias Jojo Upson, alias..."

Now, don't you dare read that.

So I've made a few
childish mistakes.

Why, any headstrong, homeless adolescent
could've done exactly the same thing.

"Arrested in L.A. in
1957 passing bad checks.

Six months’ probation." That
was your Jojo Barnes period.

"Arrested again in 1959.

Another bad-check charge
dismissed for lack of evidence."

You see, I didn't have the
initiation fee to get into this sorority.

And all of my rich
girlfriends were...

That was your Jojo Upson period.

"Under the same
name, arrested in 1961...

selling a thousand acres
of Bolivian swampland...

to a freshman at the Sorbonne."

I loved him. I did.

"1963, arrested under
the name of Jojo Grass.

Hmm. Attempted fraud at Le
Pabeleau-des-Champ in Monte Carlo...

directly followed by assault and
battery against the arresting gendarme...

who suffered
cuts and bruises..."

That one I can tell you about.
That one is absolutely untrue...

unfair and defamatory.

- Jojo.
- What?

What's your real name?

Muriel Goodman.

We already knew that
Thrush had instituted...

a new research department
called Alpha Section.

- Really?
- Really.

The lab reports we liberated
from that moving van of yours...

told us what Alpha Section...

what you, Mr. Pendleton,
as their chief engineer...

have been doing for
the past five months.

Oh. And what might that be?

An ion projector capable of
gathering ions from the atmosphere...

both positive and negative and
projecting them at a given target...

in the same manner
as one would fire a rifle.

Where exactly is the ion
projector located, Mr. Pendleton?

Where is Alpha Section headquarters?
And where were you taking those...

Those doodads in that
little suitcase of yours?

Where were you sending that
moving van, Mr. Pendleton?

Well? Anything?

Apparently, sir, these
spheres were to act

as magnifiers in that
ion machine of theirs.

At a low intensity...

the concentration of those
ions can debilitate a man.

At a higher intensity,
magnified with these...

drain him completely physically.

Drive him insane, perhaps.

Ah. So that's it.

Well, now, Mr. Pendleton...

They're too late, buddy boy.

I realize that the business of the
poison capsule in the hollow tooth...

went out with the high-button
trench coats, gentlemen, but...

Yes, nevertheless, there it is.

I've got only a
few seconds left.

Look here, Mr... Mr. Waverly.

Even a Thrush official can...

Can have a family somewhere.

My... My family never
knew about Thrush.

Please, please send
my... My body bag.

Riverview.

Let the death
certificate read...

heart attack or...

Riverview.

- See to it, will you, Fenwick?
- Yes, sir.

All right, perhaps I do sometimes
wish I was something better than I am.

But I did try to do right
by you gentlemen, didn't I?

Couldn't I just sort of be considered
the dance-hall girl with a heart of gold?

Or something, maybe?

Jojo, the man that Pendleton
talked to on the television screen...

Baldanado.

Honest, I don't even know
who he is. I just met him.

We do, Miss Tyler,
and we want him.

We want the rest
of his coworkers.

And most of all, we want the ion projector
that Baldanado's department is working on.

The machine for which
these spheres were developed.

You can help us achieve
these goals, Miss Tyler.

Me?

Almost certainly, Baldanado's
going to send men...

to follow up the
personnel you included...

that were involved when
U.N.C.L.E. raided the mansion tonight.

Now, I think he'll
be delighted to find...

that you have rescued these
spheres on Thrush's behalf, don't you?

Now, hang on there, Charlie.

Of course, Mr. Baldanado
won't know...

that we've rearranged the
prongs on those spheres...

to keep them from
working properly.

Or that we've inserted a little
homing device in each of them.

Where they go, where
you go, Jojo, we can follow.

Oh, just a moment,
gentlemen. Just a moment.

Up to now, this young lady has done
an exemplary job of messing up her life.

It isn't fair to assume that
she'd work on the chance now...

to do something
constructive for a change.

Is it, Miss Tyler?

U.N.C.L.E. raided Pendleton's.
How did you get out?

I beg your pardon. Please,
you are wrinkling my mink.

May I inquire as to whom you
two Neanderthals represent?

Just friends of the family,
lady. Pendleton's family.

Oh. Well, why didn't you say so?

I thought you were a couple
of those U.N.C.L.E. freaks.

Here. Harry sent me out of
the place with these before he...

Poor Harry.

Pendleton? He's dead?

Suicide.

You're sure it was suicide?

Well, it's them, all right.

Well, I guess you did okay.

It did occur to me that if
I could keep my head...

when all others about
me were losing theirs...

why, your Mr. Baldanado
might get into his head...

to thank me rather generously.

Maybe make me
a little Thrushette.

Sorry, baby.

You did us a favor. That
doesn't entitle you to membership.

Now, wait a minute.
Now, listen, you two.

- I showed loyalty to Thrush tonight...
- You're a loose end, lady.

Lesson six tells us we don't leave
those lying around for U.N.C.L.E. agents.

And lesson number seven
says never run, skip or jump...

when faced with an
U.N.C.L.E. agent's gun.

You just walk very
slowly down the steps.

You too, lady. The box, Max.

I told you, fellas.

I'm the unloosest loose
end Thrush will ever have.

Come on, let's get out of here. This
place will be swarming in a minute.

I've never been able to
relate to women very well.

Now, however, five months of
experimentation have been saved.

An U.N.C.L.E. agent
has been assassinated...

thanks to a woman.

Obviously competent.

Obviously attractive.

You're... You're very
kind, Mr. Baldanado.

Tomorrow morning, perhaps
you'd like to go on a shopping spree.

I'd like to see you in a
black sheath dress again.

You'll find that I am...

Alpha Section, that is.

A very rewarding employer.

Oooh.

Open it.

All right, you've all been yelling about
what competent engineers you are.

So with or without
the help of Pendleton...

I want these two spheres
inserted into the projector...

and the projector shipped to
Hong Kong by tomorrow evening.

That's all.

He's not going with us?

- He's, uh, busy.
- Hmm.

All right,
gentlemen, let's do it.

Alpha Section personnel
numbers two through five.

You are programmed to admit us.

Repeat, Alpha Section personnel
numbers two through five.

You are programmed to admit us.

Riverview, Connecticut?

That's where we
sent Pendleton's body.

Yes, sir.

But it's also the place the homing
device in those spheres led us...

until my meter went dead.

There's no reading at all now.

Mr. Waverly, Jojo has
found Baldanado for us.

Well, having to trust her isn't doing
too much for my ulcer, I must admit.

You follow up on
Pendleton's burial.

I won't comment on my own
gullibility in sending his body there.

Decent family, indeed.

Thrush family would
be more appropriate.

Hello. Anything special
you'd like to see?

No, I'm just looking...

for a dress for my sister.

Oh.

- I'm a bachelor.
- Oh.

Well, I think we have
something we could show you.

Hoo.

Mr. Baldanado.

What are you doing here, Max?

May I see you for a
moment, sir, privately?

I'll be back in a moment,
dear. Anything you like.

That will do fine.

Do you happen to
have one in puce?

Puce? Heh.

Well, I'll check for you, sir.

Excuse me.

Jojo.

Jojo. JOJO: Who's there?

- Solo.
- Who?

Oh.

We need time to operate.

If you can keep Baldanado
occupied with you...

he won't be attending to
business, which is fine with us.

Now, can you keep
him occupied, Jojo?

Well, I'll do my little
old best, honey child...

thankless though
the task may be.

Forgive me, but the ion projector
would seem to be more important...

I said I'd be along.

Yes, sir. I'm sorry.

Oh. By the way, U.N.C.L.E.
was kind enough...

to ship Pendleton
home to his family. Heh.

We'll bury him this afternoon,
I presume, as planned.

Bury him? Of course.

But not as planned.

I don't quite understand.

I said, not as
planned. No injection.

Sir, we need Pendleton to
help us prepare the projector...

to insert those
spheres properly.

If we don't inject him with the
antidote of that suicide pill...

You want Pendleton dead.
You don't wanna bring him back.

Mr. Baldanado, you're willing
to risk killing a Thrush official...

and to ignore a command
from Thrush Central...

which would probably put
all our necks on the line so...

So you can have
the guy's girlfriend?

Max, coffins have been
known to accommodate...

two people at the same time.

Get back to work.

- Excuse me.
- I beg your pardon.

It's all right.

All right, now, when
Pendleton's casket arrives...

I wanna see some
tears, you understand?

Lots of sadness, moping around.

Is that clear?

Well, they're bringing
Pendleton down...

for what it's worth now.

How you doing?

Yeah.

You can't stop thinking
about it either, can you, Max?

What's gonna happen to us
when Thrush Central finds out...

we failed with this projector...

because we let our section
leader murder our chief engineer...

over a woman?

You really think we can make
it stick with Thrush Central?

I mean, taking contrary
action on our own, that's...

Contrary? Contrary to whom?

A commanding officer happens to
be coming quietly apart at the seams...

because some dippy blond
finally looked at him twice...

with something besides nausea.

You bet we'll make it stick.

Believe me, it'll stick.

All right. We'll
probably get shot for it.

Well, all right. Come on.

I'll get the hypodermic ready.

Should take one to two hours.

I still feel funny about this.

Well, you've never seen Baldanado
get angry, have you? Ho-ho.

Max, look.

The light tower.
That's all we need.

So now what, huh?

You're asking me?

We got an ion projector
that won't project.

A corpse is coming back
to life contrary to orders.

And for all I know, we just
sealed a janitor in that bell tower.

- How do I know what to do?
- All right, gentlemen, let's calm down.

I'm going to the club to
see if I can find Baldanado.

Right or wrong, he's
gotta know about all this.

Oh, and, gentlemen...

don't go near that tower
until I get back, huh?

I'm a cold, detached man.

Efficient.

Authoritative.

Thorough.

Twenty-one years with
Thrush, a leader of men.

But within my
breast, deep inside...

Do you think me a fool?

I don't wanna kill
any more people.

I wanna laugh.

Some of my subordinates laugh.

They even dance with women.

You make me wanna dance.

I...

I love you.

- Illya?
- Napoleon?

I hate to trouble you with trivia,
but I think I'm about to get killed...

and it struck me that perhaps
you might want to say goodbye.

Uh... Goodbye.

What's this?

Snooping around outside, sir.

U.N.C.L.E. communicator,
U.N.C.L.E. hand weapon.

U.N.C.L.E., U.N.C.L.E., U.N.C.L.E.
Every time we turn around...

Sir, there's more. We've got
someone trapped in the bell tower.

It's pretty obvious by now
he's an U.N.C.L.E. man too.

You mean you haven't been up
there to look at him, to get him?

We've been waiting for you, sir.

Hmm.

You'll wait here for me, please.

Sir, just so there won't
be any trouble about it...

there is just one more thing.

We did give Pendleton
the injection, the antidote.

- You what?
- I'm sorry, sir.

- At whose order?
- Pendleton? You mean Harry?

Sir, I beg to remind you that the
uniform code of Thrush procedure...

Enough!

I wanted Harry Pendleton to stay
dead and I gave you an order and...

Stay dead? What do you mean?

And you disobeyed it
and I'll have your hide.

Is Harry Pendleton
alive? Tell me.

Jojo, I'm sorry.

Now, you get back
to the graveyard.

See to that U.N.C.L.E.
agent up in the bell tower.

I'll be along.

Later, we'll see what the
board of review has to say...

about Thrush underlings
who lose their heads...

and make up nonexistent crises.

Get out!

I didn't mean any
harm to Pendleton, dear.

It's just that I didn't wanna
lose you back to him.

I told you before.

A strong, mature
man, a leader of men.

You.

And now, Mr. U.N.C.L.E. man...

we'll go to my office and
see why you're here...

and how you got here.

Sorry, dear, really.

Okay, now, you listen.

Your men have got my
friend and I've got you.

That a fair trade?

Don't be absurd.

I see.

How about you, young lady? Are
you willing to die for Mother Thrush?

Now, wait a minute,
you look here.

Okay.

You get my friend out of the
clutches of those maniacs of yours...

or I'll blow your
girlfriend's head off.

You've got exactly
five seconds to decide.

No.

All right, it's dark now.
Let's get to the bell tower.

Al, you stay here
with Pendleton.

And do whatever you
can with those spheres.

So this is where
you've been hiding.

Now, conduct yourself
with care, my chubby friend.

I'd hate to blow a hole in
this adorable mink coat.

The girl and I wait here.

You've got exactly five minutes to bring
my friend out of this no man's land...

with all parts functioning
and intact, is that clear?

Jojo, if I do this thing...

if I turn my back on
Thrush, on my people...

I must be sure of you.

Of us.

I'll be waiting for
you, sweetheart.

Gee, I keep forgetting
to ask him his first name.

- Mr. Pendleton.
- Yeah, yeah?

Are you well enough yet to answer a
question or two about these spheres?

Hey, it's Baldanado.

Well, switch off the
electric trap so he can get in.

If he can remember how.

You did pretty well
for yourself today, Jojo.

Man does not live by
bread alone, Mr. Solo.

You're kind of a
lulu, you know that?

I knew I'd seen that
funny hairdo before.

You're the one the girl killed out in
front of her apartment the other night.

That was for our
benefit, I suppose.

So U.N.C.L.E. did get to these.

And we wondered
why they wouldn't work.

And that girl, leading
Baldanado around by the nose.

- That girl.
- Wait a minute.

What girl?

You don't mean my girl Jojo.

Hello, Mr. Baldanado.

Release that man.

- Release that man.
- Sir, that is an U.N.C.L.E. agent.

- He was the one...
- I said, release that man.

Yes, sir.

You, my bright,
good-looking young helper.

What is happening here?

Mr. Baldanado, the
sphere you're holding was...

These two spheres were
supposed to be in the projector.

Why aren't they, Max?

You maybe tried to
sabotage them yourself, Max?

The way you sabotage me by
bringing this Casanova back to life so...

Will somebody please...?

Shut up, everybody. Shut up.

Now, listen to me,
the bunch of you.

I don't need Thrush anymore.

I don't have to worry about scheming
unfaithful subordinates anymore.

Because finally...

Finally, for the
first time in my life...

I have something upstairs...

The girl is working for
U.N.C.L.E., Mr. Baldanado.

Do you hear me? She
is an U.N.C.L.E. agent.

- Liar!
- Uhn!

Tell him...

Tell me what, Casanova?

Tell me what...?

Those two mean nothing.

You better come with me.
Your friend gave me five minutes.

Even the first time I saw you...

so businesslike and everything.

Hey, you were saying...?

You know, I have got a week's
vacation coming up pretty soon.

Oh?

With pay?

We do work well
together, don't we?