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1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:05,639
[police radio chatter]
2
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:08,042
- WHAT YOU THINKING ABOUT, T?
3
00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:10,311
- THE FUTURE, ACTUALLY...
- MM.
4
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,246
- YOU KNOW, WHERE I SEE MYSELF
IN TEN YEARS' TIME.
5
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:15,316
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'M GONNA
BE HIGH-LEVEL FBI BY THEN.
6
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,651
- I KNOW
WHERE I'M GONNA BE IN TEN YEARS.
7
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,321
- WOW. REALLY?
YOU HAVE A PLAN?
8
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,423
- YEAH.
- I'M IMPRESSED.
9
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,058
- YEAH, I PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT
INTO IT TOO.
10
00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:25,326
PLANNED IT OUT.
11
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,161
GET THIS.
- YEAH?
12
00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:29,897
- MIAMI.
13
00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:36,937
- AND YOU'RE WHAT--
GONNA BE A DETECTIVE?
14
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,406
- YEAH.
15
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,508
YEAH!
I'M GONNA BE A DETECTIVE.
16
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,076
OH, MY GOD!
- OH, MY GOD.
17
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:45,179
- YES, I'M GONNA
BE A DETECTIVE IN MIAMI!
18
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:47,581
MAN, THAT WOULD BE, LIKE,
SO COOL.
19
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:49,383
IF I WAS A DETECTIVE IN MIAMI,
I COULD DO
20
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,884
SO MANY DETECTIVE THINGS.
- YEAH, YOU COULD.
21
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,886
- AND YOU CAN BE
PRETTY DAMN SURE OF ONE THING.
22
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,890
- WHAT IS THAT?
- * IT'LL BE SUNNY
23
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,259
- YEP.
24
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,027
- ALL UNITS,
ARMED ROBBERY IN PROGRESS.
25
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,962
NORTHWEST CORNER
OF 18TH AND MORGAN.
26
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:03,264
- THAT'S US.
27
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,399
- CAR 48, READY TO ANNIHILATE.
28
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:08,469
[siren wailing]
29
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:11,305
[tires screech]
30
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,574
- DON'T MOVE, ASSHOLE!
31
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,209
- OH, WHY DO THEY ALWAYS MOVE?
32
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,044
- HEY, DROP YOUR WEAPON!
33
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,579
[gunshots]
- [groans]
34
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:19,947
- GOT HIM!
35
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,949
- AAH! AAH!
36
00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:24,152
- SUSPECT DOWN,
CORNER OF MORGAN AND 18TH.
37
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,120
OFFICER DOWN--
MEDICAL ASSISTANCE REQUIRED.
38
00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:27,655
- YO, NICE SHOT, T.
- NO.
39
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,957
HE GOT ME IN THE ARM.
- NO, NO, NO, YOU GOT HIM.
40
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:32,126
- NO, HE GOT ME
RIGHT IN THE ARM.
41
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,228
- NO, T, I'M LOOKING AT IT.
IT LOOKS FINE.
42
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,729
- THE ARM
WITH ALL THE BLOOD ON IT?
43
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:38,299
- I'M SERIOUS,
YOUR UNIFORM--OH, MY GOD!
44
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,933
OH, MY GOD!
45
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,335
OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD,
OH, MY GOD!
46
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:43,070
OKAY, OKAY.
- DUDE, IT'S OKAY. HEY.
47
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,905
- PAPI, PAPI, PAPI.
SANTO DIOS, HALLELUJAH.
48
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,007
OH, MY--
49
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,243
[thud]
50
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,111
- [sighs]
51
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:54,148
ONE OFFICER DOWN,
ONE OFFICER...
52
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,217
KIND OF A PUSSY.
53
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,023
- HOW'S SHE DOING, GUYS?
HOW YOU DOING, HON?
54
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,492
- QUIKCLOT'S WORKING GREAT.
55
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,194
SHE WON'T BE LOSING
ANY MORE BLOOD.
56
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,928
TOOK A COUPLE OF PELLETS
OF BUCKSHOT, T.
57
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,297
DON'T WORRY--THE DOCS
SHOULD PATCH YOU UP IN NO TIME.
58
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,998
- ANY SHORTNESS OF BREATH,
BLURRED VISION,
59
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,366
DIZZINESS, CLAMMY HANDS?
- UM...
60
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,767
- YES, YES, ALL OF THEM.
61
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,102
OH, MY GOD.
- BILLY, I'M OKAY.
62
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,604
- I'M SO SORRY, T, YOU KNOW?
- HEY.
63
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,539
- IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
MADRE DE DIOS.
64
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,541
- IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, BILLY.
- JUST BLAME YOUR PARENTS.
65
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,009
THAT'S PROBABLY
WHAT THE SHOOTER'S GONNA DO.
66
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,544
ARE YOU OKAY, BABE?
67
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,479
- OH, SH--, CALL MY PARENTS
BEFORE THE PRECINCT DOES
68
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,014
AND LET THEM KNOW
THAT I'M ABSOLUTELY FINE.
69
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,882
- NO, IT'S NOT FINE, T.
70
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,219
[crying] YOU'RE MY PARTNER,
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOU.
71
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:32,953
YO SOY UN IDIOTA!
72
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,655
- YOUR MOUTH'S PROBABLY DRY.
DO YOU WANT SOME WATER?
73
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,290
- OH, MY GOD, YES.
THANK YOU.
74
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:39,026
MY MOUTH IS SO DRY,
I CAN'T EVEN BREATHE.
75
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:44,131
[gasps]
76
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,200
IT SHOULD BE ME
LYING THERE, T.
77
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,702
NOT YOU, IT SHOULD BE ME.
78
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:51,171
BILLY SHOULD BE IN THAT BED.
79
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,607
[siren wailing]
80
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:59,146
- I HATE TO SEDATE A PATIENT
WHO'S NOT SERIOUSLY INJURED,
81
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,048
BUT I JUST COULDN'T TAKE
ALL THE GODDAMN WHINING.
82
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,350
both: MM.
83
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:05,052
[hip-hop music]
84
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:08,322
*
85
00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:10,558
- WERE YOU SCARED?
I KNOW I WAS.
86
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,493
- YOU KNOW WHAT
THE REALLY SCARY PART WAS?
87
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,095
DEALING WITH MY PARENTS...
AND MAEVE.
88
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,030
DID YOU SEE HER
HITTING ON THAT DOCTOR?
89
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,499
- YEAH, I THOUGHT
SHE WAS GONNA BLOW HIM
90
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,400
RIGHT THERE IN THE WAITING ROOM.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
91
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,068
- I KNOW HANK WANTED TO.
92
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:22,270
- OH, HE GAVE HANK HIS NUMBER.
- NO!
93
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:23,504
- MM-HMM.
CLASSIC.
94
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,938
[laughs]
- WOW.
95
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,274
ARE THE PERCOCETS WORKING?
- OH, YEAH.
96
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,608
- GOOD.
97
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:30,177
HOW'S YOUR WOUND?
- WHAT WOUND?
98
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,580
- YOU ALL RIGHT?
- I AM HIGH AS SH--.
99
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,682
- OKAY, WELL, WHATEVER YOU WANT,
I AM AT YOUR SERVICE.
100
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,250
YOU NAME IT, YOU GOT IT.
101
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:38,018
YOU WANT ICE CREAM,
102
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,587
YOU WANT A DWAYNE JOHNSON
FILM FEST, WHATEVER YOU WANT.
103
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,289
- WILL YOU STAY OVER?
104
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,257
- YEAH, OF COURSE.
105
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,125
- COOL.
106
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,794
JUST, YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT
TO BE ALONE TONIGHT.
107
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:50,564
- YEAH, I TOTALLY GET IT.
108
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,767
YOU KNOW,
IT'S OKAY TO BE, UM...
109
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,936
IF YOU'RE AFRAID.
110
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,571
- NO, I WASN'T.
- NO, NOT AT THE TIME. NOW.
111
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,039
I PULLED
ONE OF THE DOCTORS ASIDE,
112
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,808
AND HE SAID SOMETIMES
IN CASES LIKE THIS,
113
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,276
THERE CAN BE
A DELAYED REACTION.
114
00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:04,244
SOMETIMES PEOPLE FEEL
MORE AFRAID AFTERWARDS.
115
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,580
- NO--I MEAN, WHAT--
AFRAID OF WHAT?
116
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,215
- OF DYING.
- BUT I DIDN'T DIE.
117
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,450
- NO, BUT YOU COULD HAVE.
- NO, BUT I DIDN'T.
118
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:10,784
- I KNOW, HONEY, BUT JUST--
119
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:13,421
- HEY, I AM NOT AFRAID
OF ANYTHING, BABY.
120
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,722
I AM...
121
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,223
HORNY.
122
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,091
I'M THIRSTY.
123
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:22,129
I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND DRINK
A TON OF REALLY GREAT TEQUILA
124
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:25,165
AND THEN HAVE
REALLY INSANE SEX.
125
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,634
HA.
126
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,403
- SERIOUSLY?
- SERIOUSLY.
127
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,339
HOW WAS THAT
FOR DELAYED REACTION?
128
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:33,841
[both chuckle]
129
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:37,210
- I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT YOU
SHOULD GET WOUNDED MORE OFTEN.
130
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,485
GOOD MORNING, MY LOVE.
131
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:48,088
I WHIPPED YOU UP YOUR FAVORITE
BREAKFAST AND A ROSE...
132
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:53,361
A FRESH AND HEALING FLOWER,
YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF--
133
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:54,762
OKAY, WHAT--I KNOW THAT LOOK.
134
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,430
- NO, YOU DON'T.
- YEAH, I DO.
135
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,098
- YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN
THIS LOOK BEFORE.
136
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,833
- I'M PRETTY SURE
IT'S THE "WE NEED TO TALK
137
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,168
ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP" LOOK.
138
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:02,670
NO?
139
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,004
IT'S "THE BULLET HOLES IN MY ARM
140
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,305
ARE REALLY STARTING
TO HURT" LOOK?
141
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:06,774
YOU DON'T WANT EGGS.
142
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,609
OKAY, IT'S OFFICIAL.
I'M SCARED HERE.
143
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,611
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT HAPPY,
SEXY, FUN GIRL FROM LAST NIGHT?
144
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,013
- I GOT SHOT. I SURVIVED.
I WANTED TO CELEBRATE.
145
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,548
- OH, RIGHT.
I'LL GET THE PERCOCETS.
146
00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,283
- NO, NO PERCOCETS!
147
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,487
- HAPPY, FUN, SEXY TIME, BABE,
3 FEET AWAY.
148
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,822
- LISTEN, I'VE BEEN THINKING
A LOT LATELY ABOUT...
149
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,323
WHERE I SEE MYSELF
IN TEN YEARS' TIME AND--
150
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:24,625
- OH, BOY, I'M TAKING
THE PERCOCETS.
151
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,728
- NO, WAIT. HEY.
- HUH?
152
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,463
- DON'T YOU HAVE A PLAN?
- WHAT?
153
00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:30,864
UH, YEAH, I DO.
154
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:33,166
IN TEN YEARS,
I PLAN TO BE SITTING
155
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,703
IN PRIMO SEASON-TICKET-OWNER
BOX SEATS
156
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,538
RIGHT BEHIND THE CUBS DUGOUT
AT WRIGLEY FIELD,
157
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,473
THANK YOU VERY MUCH...
158
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:40,974
WITH YOU.
159
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,743
- THAT IS YOUR TEN-YEAR PLAN?
160
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,478
- NO, OF COURSE NOT.
THAT'S MY 20-YEAR PLAN.
161
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,346
IT TOOK ME TEN YEARS JUST TO GET
ON THE LIST FOR THESE TICKETS.
162
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,848
- HOLY CRAP.
- WHAT?
163
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,850
- I'M A COP, JOHN.
164
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,152
I MIGHT NOT HAVE
TEN YEARS' TIME.
165
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,354
I COULD TAKE A BULLET
IN THE FACE TOMORROW MORNING
166
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,189
FROM SOME METH-HEAD FREAK
167
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,825
OUTSIDE OF A CHICKEN
AND LIQUOR STORE.
168
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,560
OR I COULD TAKE A BULLET
169
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,695
IN THE LINE OF DUTY
FOR MY COUNTRY IN D.C.
170
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,431
- HMM?
- I WANT TO GO TO WASHINGTON
171
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,265
AND WORK FOR THE FBI.
- WHAT? WHEN?
172
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,867
- TODAY, NOW.
173
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:07,868
I'M READY TO FILL OUT
THE APPLICATION FORM.
174
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,870
- OKAY, WAIT. WAIT.
175
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,772
LISTEN, I THINK THAT YOU LOST
A LOT OF BLOOD YESTERDAY,
176
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,841
AND I THINK THAT YOU GOT
A SHOCK TO YOUR SYSTEM.
177
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,409
- WHAT AM I WAITING FOR, HUH?
178
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,545
THERE'S NOTHING KEEPING ME HERE.
- EASY, EASY.
179
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,780
- THAT'S FOR SURE.
180
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,214
- WELL, WHAT ABOUT
A LITTLE THING CALLED US?
181
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:22,950
- OH, RIGHT, US.
182
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:25,686
YES, THERE'S MY PLACE,
AND THERE'S YOUR PLACE.
183
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:29,523
AND YOU KNOW WHAT, JOHN?
IT'S NOT ENOUGH ANYMORE.
184
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:31,058
- OKAY, I THINK THIS IS THE PART
THE DOCTOR WAS TALKING ABOUT.
185
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,893
THIS IS, LIKE,
A DELAYED REACTION.
186
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:35,228
- YES. I WAS 16 WHEN I DECIDED
I WANTED TO WORK FOR THE FBI.
187
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:38,532
IT'S ONLY TAKEN ME A DECADE
TO FINALLY MAKE THE MOVE.
188
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:39,700
- YOU'RE SERIOUS?
189
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,301
- WOW.
190
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:44,472
YOU ARE SO OBSERVANT.
191
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:47,941
YES, I'VE ONLY BEEN UP HALF
THE NIGHT THINKING ABOUT IT.
192
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,543
- MARRY ME.
193
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,411
- [laughs]
YEAH, RIGHT.
194
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:52,780
- I'M SERIOUS.
- I'M SERIOUS!
195
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,549
LET'S GET MARRIED.
HA HA! WHOO!
196
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,217
[chuckles sarcastically]
GREAT IDEA.
197
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,887
- THERESA KELLY...
198
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:03,957
THERESA KELLY,
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
199
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,425
- YOU'RE KNEELING ON MY PANTS.
200
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:08,629
- HEY, LISTEN TO ME.
201
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:12,566
I AM 100% BALLS-OUT DEAD CERTAIN
GODDAMN SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.
202
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,835
- CAN YOU PASS ME MY TOP?
- NOT UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME.
203
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,003
- GET UP.
- NO.
204
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,305
- JOHN FARRELL, GET UP.
205
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:21,675
- I'M NOT GETTING UP.
- OKAY, FINE.
206
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:24,277
SO I SAY YES, AND THEN
WE'RE ENGAGED FOREVER AND EVER
207
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,446
BECAUSE YOU WON'T COMMIT
TO A WEDDING DATE,
208
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,149
AND THEN I WASTE
A WHOLE NOTHER CHUNK OF MY LIFE
209
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,184
DRINKING
OVERPRICED BOX-SEAT BEERS
210
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:34,454
WATCHING A TEAM
WHO IS CURSED BY A BILLY GOAT?
211
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,089
I DON'T THINK SO!
212
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,424
- LET'S DO IT RIGHT NOW.
- WHAT?
213
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,493
- LET'S GET MARRIED.
RIGHT NOW.
214
00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:40,694
WE'LL GO DOWN TO THE COURTHOUSE.
WE'LL GET A LICENSE.
215
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,429
WE'LL GET A JUSTICE
OF THE PEACE.
216
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,764
WE'LL GET TWO WITNESSES,
AND WE'LL MAKE IT LEGAL...
217
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,533
RIGHT NOW, TODAY,
218
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:48,669
AS IN THIS MORNING,
AS IN AT 8:37 A.M.
219
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:49,937
- ARE YOU OKAY?
220
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,972
- I'VE NEVER BEEN BETTER.
221
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,507
ARE YOU OKAY?
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S BEEN SHOT.
222
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,208
- YEAH.
223
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,546
- WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
224
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,648
- BACON.
225
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,756
[crunching]
226
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,327
LET'S DO IT.
227
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,170
- MAEVE'S IN.
228
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,371
SHE'S MEETING US THERE.
- PERFECT.
229
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,806
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
- [laughs]
230
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,809
[cell phone rings]
231
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,711
- YEAH?
- HEY, YOU ALONE?
232
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,879
- NO, WHOLE GANG'S HERE.
WHY?
233
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,380
- PUT YOUR POKER FACE ON.
234
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,548
- OH.
235
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:40,487
I AM LADY GAGA, BABY.
WHAT'S UP?
236
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,155
- THERESA AND I
ARE GETTING MARRIED.
237
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,891
- WHAT?
- POKER FACE, ASSHOLE!
238
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,826
- OKAY, YES.
239
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,227
NO, I-I KNEW THAT ALREADY.
240
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,429
SHE HAD TOLD ME
WHEN WE GOT BACK TO--
241
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,999
I'M LADY GAGA AGAIN.
WHAT THE HELL?
242
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,366
- OKAY, I NEED YOU TO MEET US
243
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,335
AT THE COURTHOUSE
ON WEST WASHINGTON.
244
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,704
DON'T TELL ANYBODY. DON'T RUSH
OUT THE DOOR LIKE A MANIAC.
245
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,438
JUST BE COOL.
246
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,240
- IS THIS PAYBACK
FOR THE SKIN-CREAM PRANK?
247
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,541
- TELL HANK IT'S NOT PAYBACK.
- IT'S NOT PAYBACK.
248
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,210
- GOD DAMN.
249
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,112
- LADY GAGA, PLEASE,
NOT A PEEP.
250
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,614
AND WHEN YOU LEAVE,
TAKE BRIAN WITH YOU,
251
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,948
SO NOBODY GETS SUSPICIOUS.
252
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:10,951
- 10-4.
- NOT A WORD TO ANYONE--NO ONE.
253
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,586
- OH, YOU AIN'T GOT
TO WORRY, BROTHER.
254
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:15,789
I AM CIA ON THIS BITCH.
255
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,391
- WHAT'S UP?
256
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:19,927
- SO WE CAN'T GET MARRIED
FOR AT LEAST 24 HOURS?
257
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,561
- NO.
MAYBE IT'S A SIGN.
258
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:22,930
- THAT WE SHOULDN'T DO IT?
- NO!
259
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,097
THAT WE SHOULD GO
TO VEGAS AND DO IT.
260
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,365
- SORRY WE'RE LATE, BRO.
- HEY.
261
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,700
- LOOK, THEY FIGURED OUT
SOMETHING WAS UP
262
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:27,935
WHILE I WAS TALKING TO YOU.
263
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,202
- I THOUGHT YOU
HAD YOUR POKER FACE ON.
264
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,537
- IF THAT WAS HIS POKER FACE,
265
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,772
WE GOT TO START PLAYING
SOME GODDAMN CARDS
266
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,106
AROUND THE DEPOT, MAN.
267
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,942
- DID WE MISS EVERYTHING?
- NO--
268
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,576
- JESUS, MAEVE,
YOU CALLED BILLY?
269
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,445
- I COULDN'T GO TO A WEDDING
WITHOUT A DATE.
270
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,814
- WAIT. THIS IS A DATE?
HELL, YEAH.
271
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,616
HEY, I'M ALL BETTER NOW,
THERESA.
272
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,151
- WE GOT SEVEN WITNESSES
AND NO WAY TO GET MARRIED.
273
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,919
- YEAH, THE LAW SAYS
WE HAVE TO WAIT 24 HOURS.
274
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,655
- WAIT, I GOT A WAY. MY UNCLE
RUNS A CHURCH ACROSS TOWN.
275
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,289
IT'S PENTECOSTAL.
276
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,891
- YOU THINK HE'D DO IT?
- REALLY?
277
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,826
- HE'LL DO ALMOST ANYTHING
IF YOU GOT THE CASH.
278
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,394
I'LL CALL HIM REAL QUICK.
- WHAT'S THIS WITNESS BULLSH--?
279
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,163
- WE NEED TWO WITNESSES.
- I KNOW THAT, ASSHOLE.
280
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:57,564
YOU GOT A SH--LOAD
OF WITNESSES.
281
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,266
I NEED A TITLE, BRO,
LIKE BEST MAN.
282
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,500
- NO, WE'RE NOT DOING
ALL OF THAT.
283
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,135
- NO.
- HEY, WHEN YOU SAID
284
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,904
TWO YEARS AGO YOU WAS THINKING
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED,
285
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,138
THAT HANDS DOWN, I WAS
THE ONLY CHOICE FOR BEST MAN.
286
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:06,139
- YOU STILL ARE.
- YOU WERE THINKING
287
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,908
ABOUT MARRIAGE TWO YEARS AGO,
288
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,509
AND YOU DIDN'T THINK
TO SAY ANYTHING TO ME?
289
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:10,944
- IF HE GETS TO BE BEST MAN,
I'M MAID OF HONOR.
290
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,112
- NO, WE'RE NOT
DOING THAT SH--, MAEVE.
291
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,947
- THAT WAS JUST IDLE CHAT.
292
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,783
WE WERE JUST BULLSH--TING
IN THE RIG ONE DAY, YOU KNOW?
293
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,084
- CAN I BE A GROOMSMAN?
- IDLE CHAT ABOUT MARRYING ME?
294
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,752
- BABE, NOT RIGHT NOW.
295
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,253
- CAN WE BE BRIDESMAIDS?
- I LOVE THAT MOVIE.
296
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,521
- HEY, YOU SAID "BULLSH--TING."
297
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:22,790
SO WERE YOU BULLSH--TING
ABOUT MARRYING ME?
298
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,291
- HEY, HOW ABOUT USHERS?
299
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,793
YOU GOT GROOMSMEN.
HOW ABOUT A COUPLE USHERS?
300
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,094
- DOES THIS LOOK
LIKE I'M BULLSH--TING YOU?
301
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,428
- I DON'T KNOW.
YOU TELL ME.
302
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,263
- BUT THERE WON'T BE
ANYONE TO USH.
303
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,498
- IT'S NOT ABOUT WHO I USH
OR WHO I DON'T USH.
304
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,200
IT'S ABOUT THE POSITION.
305
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,802
- TWO SECONDS AGO, YOU WANTED
TO THROW IN THE TOWEL.
306
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,670
- BULLSH--.
WHEN?
307
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:38,438
- I AM THE BEST MAN.
BRIAN, YOU'RE THE GROOMSMAN.
308
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,140
- YES!
- I THOUGHT WAITING 24 HOURS
309
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,608
WAS A POSITIVE SIGN.
YOU THOUGHT
310
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,876
IT WAS A NEGATIVE SIGN.
- NO.
311
00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:44,477
- WHAT'S BILLY GONNA BE?
312
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:45,946
- BILLY SHOULD BE AN USHER.
- STEP OFF, BITCH.
313
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,715
I AM THE BEST MAN.
314
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,049
I'M THE BOSS OF ALL THE MEN
IN THE WEDDING PARTY,
315
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,784
NOT THE GROOMSMAN.
316
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,986
BILLY IS AN USHER.
- WE SHOULD GET DRESSES.
317
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,855
- NO! WE'RE NOT GETTING
DRESSES, MAEVE!
318
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,824
- THEN I'M THE HEAD USHER.
- THERE ARE ONLY TWO OF YOU!
319
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,191
- I'M NOT HAVING EQUAL BILLING
320
00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,893
WITH SOME DIM-WITTED
SPECIAL-ED REJECT.
321
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,161
NOW, EITHER I'M THE HEAD USHER,
322
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,730
OR I AIN'T
NO GODDAMN USHER AT ALL.
323
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,364
- [speaking Spanish]
324
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,532
OKAY, YO, HE SAID
HE'S GONNA DO IT, Y'ALL.
325
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:06,900
[all cheering]
- REALLY?
326
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:07,968
- SO HE'S GOT
AN OPENING IN AN HOUR,
327
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,703
BUT WE GOT TO BE ON TIME,
328
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:11,004
BECAUSE HE HAS
AN EXORCISM RIGHT AFTER THAT.
329
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,472
AND IT'S GONNA
BE 200 BUCKS CASH.
330
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,007
- 200 BUCKS?
- WHAT KIND OF CHURCH IS THIS?
331
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,175
- IT'S CALLED
IGLESIA PENTECOSTAL
332
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,209
ESPIRITU SANTO DE KOSTNER.
333
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,645
- COSTNER--
AS IN KEVIN COSTNER?
334
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,013
- HOLY SH--,
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.
335
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,715
NAH, THAT'S JUST
THE STREET THAT IT'S ON.
336
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,050
- OKAY.
337
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,484
- BUT MY UNCLE
REALLY DID LIKE TIN CUP.
338
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,020
CHEECH MARIN, YO--
THAT MAN IS RIDICULOUS.
339
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,860
- BILLY,
DON'T START CRYING AGAIN.
340
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,828
- OKAY, KOSTNER STREET,
EVERYBODY, LOCK AND LOAD.
341
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,329
T AND I ARE GONNA STOP
AT THE CASH MACHINE.
342
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,766
THIS--HONEY, THIS IS
A POSITIVE SIGN, RIGHT?
343
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,033
- MM-HMM.
- OKAY, LET'S GO.
344
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,701
- OKAY.
- LET'S GO.
345
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,904
- COME ON, WHAT DO YOU--
- NOW IT'S GONNA BE A WEDDING.
346
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,005
WE GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME.
- WHAT KIND OF CHURCH IS THIS?
347
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,373
- THIS IS GONNA BE
A GOOD WEDDING!
348
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,674
- WHAT KIND OF CHURCH?
- THEY GOT SOME KIND
349
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,009
OF EXORCISM.
DON'T NOBODY KNOW.
350
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,277
LOOK, WE GONNA DO THIS RIGHT.
351
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,045
- THEY COULD HAVE CHICKENS
FOR USHERS, MAN.
352
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:52,813
- CHICKENS?
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT NO CHICKEN.
353
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,552
- WHAT?
354
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,955
- HEY, DID MAEVE BLAB THIS
TO YOU GUYS?
355
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,223
- YES, BABY.
OH, MY GOD.
356
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:05,258
CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANK YOU.
357
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,961
- YES, YES, CONGRATULATIONS
MY ASS, OKAY?
358
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,930
IF YOU THINK THAT MY DAUGHTER
IS MARRYING THIS KID
359
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,199
IN THIS FLEABAG FAKE
FRIGGIN' CHURCH,
360
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,200
YOU'RE ALL OUT
OF YOUR GODDAMN MINDS.
361
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,802
- LANGUAGE, JERRY.
362
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,136
- I DIDN'T SAY
SH--HOLE, BRIDGET.
363
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,070
- DAD!
- EXCUSE ME, SIR.
364
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,605
MY CHURCH IS FULLY LICENSED.
365
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:19,940
- YEAH, BY WHO?
THE PUERTO RICAN
366
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,975
COCKFIGHTING ASSOCIATION?
- STOP IT.
367
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:24,077
- THE JOINT'S A DUMP, PADRE.
- HEY, STAY OUT OF THIS, MIKE.
368
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,645
YOU STAYED OUT OF OUR LIVES
FOR 15 YEARS.
369
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,280
WE MANAGED JUST FINE.
- MA!
370
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,482
- HEY, ME AND JOHNNY MADE UP.
YOU KNOW, I APOLOGIZED.
371
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,418
NOW WE TALK, AND WE HANG OUT.
WE DO STUFF.
372
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,787
WE'RE LIKE, UM, UH--
- FATHER AND SON?
373
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,223
- VERY FUNNY, I WAS THINKING
MORE LIKE STARSKY AND HUTCH.
374
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,958
LISTEN, KID,
WE GOT TO THINK THIS OVER.
375
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,492
- LET ME TAKE A PICTURE.
376
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:40,760
I'VE GOT ONE
OF THOSE NEW SMARTPHONES.
377
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,329
- IT'S NOT UP TO YOU, HUTCH.
378
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,563
- IT SURE AS HELL
AIN'T UP TO YOU, PAL.
379
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:44,832
- GET CLOSER TOGETHER.
380
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,133
- WHAT THE HELL
DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
381
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,667
- CLOSER, SCRUNCH IN.
382
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,836
- IT MEANS THAT MY DAUGHTER'S
A TEN, BIGFACE.
383
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,603
- BIGFACE?
- YOUR FACE IS HUGE.
384
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,906
THIS IS NEWS TO YOU,
SECRETARIAT?
385
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,441
- LET ME GET IN, FATHER.
- SURE.
386
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,009
- SCRUNCH IN, SCRUNCH IN.
SAY "CHEESEBURGER."
387
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:57,310
- YOU ADD TO THAT THE FACT
THAT SHE'S A HERO COP...
388
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,279
- CHEESEBURGER.
- THAT'S A 13.
389
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,314
AND SHE'S MARRYING WHAT?
390
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:04,017
THIS GUY WHO'S WHAT?
MAYBE--NOT FOR NOTHING--A FOUR?
391
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,752
- YOU ASSHOLE.
MY SON AIN'T NO FOUR.
392
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:06,987
- YEAH, YOU TELL HIM.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
393
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,621
HE'S AT LEAST A FIVE.
- WHAT?
394
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,190
WELL, ADD THREE POINTS
'CAUSE HE'S AN E.M.T.,
395
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,125
AND THAT MAKES HIM AN EIGHT.
396
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,793
YOUR DAUGHTER'S A TEN, MINUS
TWO POINTS FOR BEING A COP.
397
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,295
- WHAT?
- THAT MAKES HER AN EIGHT TOO.
398
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,297
SO IT ALL EVENS OUT HERE.
- I'M CONFUSED.
399
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,932
WHY IS SHE LOSING TWO POINTS?
400
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,300
- 'CAUSE YOU KNOW
WHAT EVERY FIREFIGHTER AND COP
401
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,369
HAVE IN COMMON?
402
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,004
THEY BOTH WANT
TO BE FIREFIGHTERS.
403
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,605
[laughter]
- OKAY, THAT'S--
404
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,274
- THAT'S FUNNY.
- LET'S--LET'S NOT--
405
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,675
- ONE MORE.
- MOM, COME ON.
406
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,477
- COME ON, EVERYBODY, COME ON.
407
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,711
- QUICK, QUICK, QUICK, QUICK,
LET'S JUST GET IT DONE.
408
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,346
- SCRUNCH IN.
- ONE MORE, EVERYONE IN.
409
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,315
- HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN
A FIREFIGHTER HAS PASSED AWAY?
410
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,617
HE DROPS THE REMOTE CONTROL.
411
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,887
- OH, THAT'S ENOUGH!
- HEY, HEY, HEY!
412
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,489
- PLEASE STOP!
- HEY, GUYS, LISTEN UP, HEY!
413
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:43,823
- THE WEDDING--
- HEY, LISTEN!
414
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,058
THIS IS OUR DAY...
- RIGHT.
415
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:46,526
- NOT YOURS.
- RIGHT.
416
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:47,727
- AND I AM MARRYING
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE,
417
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,629
WHO IS NOT A 4 OR A 5.
418
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,231
HE IS A FRICKIN' 15.
419
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,665
- OH!
- THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
420
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,901
- WELL, YOU WERE NEVER
TOO GOOD AT MATH, HONEY.
421
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,236
MY CHIN IS SO WEIRD IN THIS.
422
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,305
WE NEED ONE MORE.
FATHER, JUST ONE MORE.
423
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,373
ONE MORE, THANK YOU.
- HEY, WHERE'S CASH AND THEM AT?
424
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:01,841
- THEY'RE SEATING
ALL THE GUESTS.
425
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,510
both: GUESTS?
426
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:04,844
- YEAH, THERE'S, LIKE,
35 PUERTO RICANS IN THERE.
427
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,914
- WHAT?
- WHAT?
428
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:07,981
- HERE AT THE IGLESIA DEL
ESPIRITU SANTO DE KOSTNER...
429
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:08,982
- COME ON, LET'S GO.
- FINE!
430
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,750
- ONE MORE!
431
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,319
MY NECK LOOKED FUNNY.
- WE HAVE TO GET IN THERE.
432
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,753
- WE LIKE TO FILL THE PEWS.
433
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:16,256
IT MAKES THE OCCASION
MUCH MORE JOYOUS.
434
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,025
[camera shutter clicks]
435
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,193
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
YOU HAVE THE $400?
436
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:21,828
both: WHAT?
- I THOUGHT IT WAS $200.
437
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,931
- 200 FOR THE SERVICE,
200 FOR THE JOY.
438
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,865
- CAN WE GET
AN ITEMIZED RECEIPT FOR THIS?
439
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,600
- I ONLY HAVE $200.
440
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,336
DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY MONEY?
- UM...
441
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,104
- DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I AIN'T THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE.
442
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,205
- WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT ME FOR?
443
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:33,740
- GET IN THERE!
444
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,242
- THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, MR. KELLY.
445
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,044
- HE'S A COP.
HE AIN'T USED TO THIS.
446
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,512
USUALLY WHEN CASH CHANGES HANDS,
HE'S ON THE RECEIVING END.
447
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,181
- HEY, I HEARD THAT, PAL!
[overlapping shouting]
448
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,715
YOU WANT TO START WITH ME?
449
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:45,352
- NO, DAD!
- YOU'LL BE LOCKED UP, PAL!
450
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,186
- ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
451
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,420
- ABSOLUTELY.
452
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,888
- LOOK, I JUST NEED YOU
TO KNOW--
453
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,423
I GOT THE RIG GASSED UP
AND READY TO GO.
454
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,791
WE CAN THELMA & LOUISE
THIS SH-- RIGHT NOW.
455
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,426
- NOT NECESSARY, BRO.
I'M GOOD.
456
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,928
- OKAY.
- YOU REALIZE THEY DIE
457
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,196
AT THE END OF THAT MOVIE,
RIGHT?
458
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,897
- WHO GIVES A SH--?
BRAD PITT LIVED.
459
00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,232
- WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
460
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,467
- THIS IS
YOUR BEST MAN SAVING...
461
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,069
- [gasps]
- YOUR SORRY WHITE ASS.
462
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:04,104
- IS THIS REAL?
- $8,000 REAL.
463
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,406
- AAH!
HOLY SH--.
464
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,375
JESUS, HANK--
- I ADVISE AGAINST IT.
465
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,310
- LOOK, THREE MONTHS' SALARY
IS A NORMAL AMOUNT OF MONEY
466
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,311
TO SPEND ON A WEDDING RING,
NUMBNUTS,
467
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,213
FOR SOMEONE YOU TRULY LOVE.
468
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,048
- THERESA'S NOT REALLY
AN $8,000-RING KIND OF GIRL.
469
00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:16,749
THAT'S WHY I LOVE HER.
470
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,986
- DOES SHE HAVE TITS?
- SHE'S GOT FABULOUS TITS.
471
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,287
- THEN WATCH AND LEARN,
ASSHOLE.
472
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,888
- HOLY SH--!
473
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,123
[gasps]
IS THAT REAL?
474
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,125
- YES, IT IS.
- OH, MY GOD!
475
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,960
I LOVE YOU!
- OH, GOD.
476
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,262
- MOM, LOOK AT THIS RING!
- OH, MY--OH, MY GOD!
477
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:32,232
- AW.
IT'S AMAZING.
478
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:35,068
I KNOW MORE ABOUT PUSSY THAN
YOU TWO DIPSH--S PUT TOGETHER,
479
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,237
AND I AIN'T EVEN SEEN ONE
SINCE THE DAY I WAS BORN.
480
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:40,107
- WHO'S IN THE LIMO?
481
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:47,447
- OH, SH--. WAIT. WHO IS THAT?
IS THAT THE DRIVER?
482
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,849
- OH, MY GOD, MAEVE!
483
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:52,185
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- THANKS. HI.
484
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,486
- OH.
- OH, MY GOD.
485
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,022
LET ME GET A PICTURE.
486
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,456
SAY "CHEESEBURGER."
- CHEESEBURGER.
487
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,025
- CHEESEBURGER.
488
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,960
- WHO'S THE DRIVER?
- MY SON RAMON.
489
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,596
WE RUN A WEDDING STORE,
AS WELL AS THE CHURCH.
490
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,432
- YOU GOT 'EM
COMING AND GOING, HUH?
491
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,335
I GOT MY EYE ON YOU,
FATHER DAMIEN.
492
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,437
- RAMON GOT US A GREAT DEAL.
- IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO.
493
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,172
BESIDES,
WHEN I SAW THIS TUX,
494
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,940
I THOUGHT,
"BILLY! BILLY, BILLY!"
495
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,144
[laughter]
496
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,547
- WE'RE CATHOLIC,
AND I'M SO GLAD
497
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,482
TO SEE A CHURCH
THAT ACCEPTS THE GAYS.
498
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:25,952
- RAMON IS NOT GAY.
HE'S CREATIVE.
499
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,188
- YOU CALLED MOM AND DAD?
500
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,524
- I WANTED 'EM TO SEE ME
IN THIS DRESS.
501
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:32,892
- I SAID NO DRESSES, MAEVE.
502
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:36,129
- OH, MY GOD, THERESA,
YOU'RE JEALOUS.
503
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,731
- HA!
- THAT IS SO SMALL...
504
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:41,668
JUST LIKE MY ASS
IN THIS HOT LITTLE DRESS.
505
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:45,038
[chuckles]
WHO'S GOING TO FAT CAMP NOW?
506
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:49,576
- HEY, I'M SORRY, T.
507
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,517
- * HE IS GATHERED
HERE AMONG YOU *
508
00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,353
* AT THE CALLING
OF YOUR HEARTS *
509
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:04,224
* REST ASSURED
THIS TROUBADOUR *
510
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,060
* IS ACTING ON HIS PART
511
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:10,230
* THE UNION
OF YOUR SPIRITS HERE *
512
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:13,233
* HAS CAUSED HIM TO REMAIN
513
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:16,436
* FOR WHENEVER
TWO OR MORE OF YOU *
514
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,538
* ARE GATHERED IN HIS NAME
515
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:22,275
* THERE IS LOVE
516
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:23,543
[trembling]
517
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,878
* EL HOMBRE DEJA SU MADRE *
518
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:29,749
* Y LA MUJER DEJA SU CASA *
519
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:35,222
* LOS DOS JUNTOS VAN A IR
HACERSE UNA PERSONA *
520
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,124
THAT MEANS YOU GUYS
ARE GONNA BE ONE.
521
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,225
[crying]
522
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:41,194
[rooster crows]
523
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:44,264
[sniffling]
524
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:46,399
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
525
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:49,869
JOHNNY, MAN,
I JUST LOVE YOU, MAN.
526
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,572
- I LOVE YOU TOO, BILLY.
- THANKS, BILLY.
527
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:55,642
- IN THE INTEREST OF TIME,
I WILL KEEP MY REMARKS BRIEF.
528
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,444
WE GATHER TODAY
TO WITNESS THE JOINING
529
00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,879
OF TWO LOVING PEOPLE
530
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,783
AS THEY EMBARK
ON THE JOURNEY OF MARRIAGE.
531
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:08,087
IT HAS BEEN SAID
BY ONE GREATER THAN ME,
532
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:10,457
"WHEN A DEFINING MOMENT
COMES ALONG,
533
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,592
"YOU MUST DEFINE THE MOMENT,
534
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,062
OR THE MOMENT
WILL DEFINE YOU."
535
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,266
- ISN'T THAT FROM THE MOVIE
BULL DURHAM?
536
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,634
- NO, TIN CUP, WHEN COSTNER'S
TALKING TO CHEECH MARIN.
537
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,270
- NO, IT'S BULL DURHAM.
- TIN CUP.
538
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:24,504
- SHH!
539
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:27,440
- "I BELIEVE IN THE HEART.
540
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,442
"I BELIEVE IN THE SOUL.
541
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:34,447
"I BELIEVE IN LONG, SLOW,
DEEP, SOFT, WET KISSES
542
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:37,417
THAT LAST FOREVER AND EVER."
543
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,519
- THAT'S BULL DURHAM,
HORSEFACE.
544
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:42,088
- [grunting like a horse]
545
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,490
- QUIET.
546
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,192
- DO YOU, JIMMY FARRELL...
- JOHNNY.
547
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,327
- TAKE THIS WOMAN, THERESA,
TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE,
548
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,962
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD
AND SO ON AND SO FORTH?
549
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,599
- I DO.
- AND DO YOU, THERESA KELLY,
550
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:56,369
TAKE THIS MAN, TOMMY, TO BE
YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND,
551
00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:58,471
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH?
552
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:02,342
- YES, JOHNNY, I DO.
553
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:05,378
- IF THERE IS ANYONE AMONGST YOU
WHO KNOWS OF ANY REASON
554
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:08,014
WHY THERESA AND DONNY
555
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:10,283
SHOULD NOT BE JOINED TOGETHER...
[rooster crows]
556
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:13,320
SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER
HOLD YOUR PEACE.
557
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,121
- OH, I DO.
558
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,524
THERE'S AN ENTIRE BARN'S WORTH
OF FIGHTING BIRDS
559
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,892
LOCKED UP DOWN IN THE BASEMENT
560
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,894
AND A FULLY EQUIPPED
COCKFIGHTING RING,
561
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:24,397
AND YOU, FATHER JULIO,
ARE UNDER ARREST.
562
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:27,033
- AY, DIOS!
- WHAT?
563
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:30,169
- RAMON!
564
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,872
MARICON!
- W-W-W-WHOA.
565
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,975
- [gasping in pain]
- OH, NO, NO!
566
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,877
[concerned chatter]
- HEY, BRIAN, GET THE A.E.D.
567
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:41,180
- OH, OH, OH! AH!
- THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT!
568
00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:42,315
EVERYONE
OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY!
569
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,417
[rooster crows]
570
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:47,687
[sirens wailing]
571
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,358
- VITAL SIGNS
STABILIZING FAST.
572
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,059
- HE'S CONSCIOUS.
573
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,994
- I'M GLAD YOU'RE STILL
WITH US, PADRE,
574
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,496
'CAUSE YOU'RE UNDER ARREST
575
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,765
FOR RUNNING
AN ILLEGAL GAMBLING OPERATION.
576
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,233
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT,
577
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:01,668
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
578
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,236
- THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THIS PHONE.
579
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,438
I DON'T HAVE BAGS
UNDER MY EYES.
580
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:08,007
- SO WHAT EXACTLY
DO WE CALL OURSELVES NOW, HMM?
581
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,276
ENGAGED?
582
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:12,245
STILL ON A BREAK
FROM EACH OTHER? WHAT?
583
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,780
- HOW ABOUT ROOMMATES?
584
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,748
- YOU'RE GONNA MOVE IN WITH ME?
- MM-HMM.
585
00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:17,584
- YOU CAN COMMIT TO THAT?
586
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,753
- YEAH, 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU.
587
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,422
AND BASED ON THE PRICE
OF THAT RING,
588
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,123
I CAN'T REALLY AFFORD TO LIVE
BY MYSELF ANYMORE, SO...
589
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:26,058
- LOOK, SO SHINY.
- [laughs]
590
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:29,396
- I'D SAY VISIT ME
IN PRISON...
591
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:33,466
BUT I'LL PROBABLY BE JUGGLING
A FEW GUYS BY THEN.
592
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,635
[siren wailing]
593
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:38,070
- I DON'T SEE WHAT
THE HOOPLA IS ABOUT A RING.
594
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,907
ANYBODY CAN GO TO A MALL
AND WALK OUT WITH A RING.
595
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,875
BUT IT TAKES
A SPECIAL KIND OF MAN
596
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,778
TO FIND THE SEVERED DIGIT
OF A REAL, LIVE PERSON,
597
00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:47,647
CAREFULLY PACKAGE IT UP,
CARRY IT ACROSS THE CITY,
598
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,383
AND PRESENT IT AS A GIFT
TO ANOTHER REAL, LIVE PERSON,
599
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,719
LIKE YOU DID FOR ME.
600
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,954
THAT WAS VERY, VERY DEEP.
601
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:58,291
IT CREATES A UNIQUE
AND LASTING BOND.
602
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:06,165
- YOU KNOW I CAN'T PROCURE YOU
ANY MORE BODY PARTS, RIGHT?
603
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,736
- NORTH CICERO'S
GONNA BE JAMMED,
604
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,604
SO MAYBE CUT DOWN WEST KINZIE
TO SOUTH CENTRAL.
605
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,606
- BABE, I DRIVE FOR A LIVING.
I THINK I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING.
606
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,408
- AND I DON'T?
607
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,444
CUT DOWN KINZIE.
- I'M NOT CUTTING DOWN KINZIE.
608
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:19,446
- OH, I AM GOING TO THROW THIS
GODDAMN RING OUT THE WINDOW.
609
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:20,647
- OKAY, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
- CUT DOWN KINZIE!
610
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,615
- I'LL CUT DOWN KINZIE.
611
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:24,317
THERE. HAPPY NOW?
612
00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:26,853
- YEP. [laughs]
- OH, SH--.
613
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,788
IT'S WIDE OPEN.
- SUCKER.
614
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,957
- YOU WERE RIGHT.
- TAKE A LEFT ON LARAMIE.
615
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,925
- I WILL. I WAS GONNA.
- NO, YOU WEREN'T.
616
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,461
- I ALWAYS
TAKE A LEFT ON LARAMIE.
617
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:35,795
- YOU NEVER TAKE LARAMIE.
- LARAMIE IS MY STREET.
618
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:37,296
I SHOWED YOU LARAMIE!
- OH, REALLY?
619
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,699
- I'VE KNOWN LARAMIE FOR YEARS.
YOU KNOW THAT.
620
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:41,468
- WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO MOVE
ALL YOUR STUFF.
621
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,470
WHEN DO YOU WANT TO MOVE?
622
00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:44,837
- I DON'T KNOW
IF I WANT TO ANYMORE.
623
00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:46,439
I'M JUST KIDDING.
- YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
624
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:49,376
[hip-hop music]
625
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:57,417
*
46149
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