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1
00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:03,588
Previously on
Resident Alien...
2
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,524
I think this alien
is here to kill everybody.
3
00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:08,635
You will
help me find my device.
4
00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:11,054
That's on the glacier.
You can't go there.
5
00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:13,306
Harry, don't go!
It's too dangerous.
6
00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:15,225
- Not for me.
- Harry!
7
00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:17,786
- You have kids?
- We have a little boy named Max.
8
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:18,978
Max.
9
00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:20,688
You should take my number.
Call anytime.
10
00:00:20,772 --> 00:00:23,900
When I find my device,
I can finally kill them all.
11
00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:25,193
Harry.
12
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:26,486
Don't move.
13
00:00:29,739 --> 00:00:32,742
I am what your people
call an extraterrestrial.
14
00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:34,494
- Oh...
- An alien.
15
00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:35,995
Oh, I feel nauseous.
16
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:38,081
You earn respect
through your actions, Deputy.
17
00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:39,624
Did you make
your own murder board?
18
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,668
Toxicology results.
Sam was poisoned.
19
00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:43,753
You don't respect me,
and you never have.
20
00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:44,963
I quit.
21
00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:47,799
I'm not quitting.
I'm gonna get us out of here.
22
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:51,511
- Tell me how to help you.
- My leg.
23
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:54,305
I will die
if you don't chop it off.
24
00:00:54,389 --> 00:00:56,891
Okay, look at me.
I won't let you die.
25
00:01:01,813 --> 00:01:03,690
Do my feet look
like watermelons?
26
00:01:03,773 --> 00:01:05,024
'Cause they feel like it.
27
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:07,443
Sexiest watermelons
I've ever seen.
28
00:01:08,361 --> 00:01:11,781
Still so much to do before
Jack or Joanie comes.
29
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,742
We need crib sheets
and burp cloths.
30
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:16,786
Couples massage.
31
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:21,207
So where do we stand
on baby food?
32
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,376
Jarred or homemade?
33
00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:26,713
I don't know.
I read somewhere homemade
34
00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:29,048
doesn't keep as well.
A little too lumpy.
35
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:31,175
Plus, I've tried
baby applesauce,
36
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,136
and it's freakin' delicious.
37
00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:38,057
What's happening?
38
00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,398
I don't know.
39
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,324
Oh, my God.
40
00:01:59,996 --> 00:02:01,080
Honey!
41
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,923
Honey, the baby.
42
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:15,970
Uh... Oh.
43
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:23,074
Advertise your product or brand here
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44
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,698
You saw that, right?
45
00:02:59,055 --> 00:03:00,431
I'm dead.
46
00:03:00,515 --> 00:03:03,601
But if I'm dead, why do I feel
so warm and squishy
47
00:03:03,685 --> 00:03:05,895
like I'm being hugged
by a cloud?
48
00:03:06,396 --> 00:03:07,480
Oh, no.
49
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:09,524
This must be the afterlife.
50
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,192
I'm in human heaven.
51
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,736
It makes me want
to kill myself.
52
00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:16,656
I see the morphine
is still working.
53
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,866
What are you doing here?
54
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:23,663
Why does the afterlife
look like a crappy cabin?
55
00:03:24,497 --> 00:03:25,957
Are you dead too?
56
00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:27,726
I didn't want
to leave you alone
57
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:28,960
after what you'd
been through.
58
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:32,964
Come on. You need to eat just so
you can get your strength back.
59
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,050
Mmm.
60
00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:43,975
Now I know why you have
17 gallons of milk in your fridge.
61
00:03:46,519 --> 00:03:48,479
Okay, I need to change
your dressing.
62
00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:50,982
Um...
63
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,401
I think we should,
you know,
64
00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:54,861
try to avoid suspicion.
65
00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:57,697
So I started looking into
getting you a prosthetic. I know...
66
00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:00,575
What the freakin'
hell is that?
67
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,285
That is my leg.
68
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,871
It's regenerating.
69
00:04:06,164 --> 00:04:07,206
How is that even possible?
70
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:11,294
My people are descendants
of octopuses.
71
00:04:11,586 --> 00:04:13,296
Soon it will grow longer,
72
00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:17,049
and then I will transform
the molecules into human shape.
73
00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:20,261
So you're telling me
eventually that thing
74
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:21,596
will look like that one?
75
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:26,559
Yes. Except for the mole
and the hangnail.
76
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,853
I chewed my toenail
down too low.
77
00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:33,649
You can go now.
78
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:36,110
Excuse me?
79
00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,406
I stayed up all night.
80
00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:42,408
I got supplies.
I dressed your wounds.
81
00:04:42,492 --> 00:04:44,410
I cleaned you up,
and this is how you thank me?
82
00:04:44,494 --> 00:04:45,995
I didn't ask you to stay.
83
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,288
Well, I did.
84
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:49,832
'Cause that's what humans do.
85
00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:51,626
They take care
of one another.
86
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:53,753
You know, when some...
87
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,315
I'm sorry, I can't take you
seriously with that thing.
88
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,382
What is wrong with it?
It's perfectly normal.
89
00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:01,761
Jesus, can you just
put a sock on it?
90
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,514
It likes the fresh air.
91
00:05:04,597 --> 00:05:07,266
Also, it's not a thing.
It is a leg.
92
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,018
You are leg-shaming me.
93
00:05:12,814 --> 00:05:13,940
Be careful with that.
94
00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:17,068
No. Please be careful.
95
00:05:18,236 --> 00:05:19,946
Do not press
the black button.
96
00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:23,533
I'm not ready to radio
my people yet.
97
00:05:23,658 --> 00:05:25,326
This black button?
98
00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:27,078
Asta.
99
00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:31,332
- Say thank you.
- Thank you.
100
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:35,545
Oh!
101
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:37,421
Thank you.
102
00:05:45,096 --> 00:05:46,138
You're welcome.
103
00:05:48,683 --> 00:05:51,018
Please do not move.
104
00:05:51,102 --> 00:05:53,187
I'm going to work,
and I'll be back later.
105
00:05:53,271 --> 00:05:54,897
If all goes as planned,
106
00:05:54,981 --> 00:05:57,275
there won't be a "later."
107
00:05:57,942 --> 00:05:58,985
Yes.
108
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,404
Later.
109
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:17,587
Shit!
110
00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:27,847
I knew it.
111
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,016
Why are you
ignoring my calls?
112
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:35,229
Um, I'm sorry.
I've just been so busy.
113
00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:37,148
Ooh.
114
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:39,984
'Cause last night,
you sent me inside to get help,
115
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,212
and when I came back out,
you and Harry were gone, so...
116
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:44,196
Yeah, uh, sorry.
Harry was in bad shape.
117
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,073
And I realized
we didn't have an MRI machine.
118
00:06:46,157 --> 00:06:47,867
So I took him to the hospital
in Braddock.
119
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,120
What?
120
00:06:52,747 --> 00:06:55,875
I know you too well.
You're lying.
121
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,460
I am not.
122
00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:00,963
Yeah, you are.
You have a tell.
123
00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:02,465
Oh, really?
What's my tell?
124
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,800
Well, I can't tell you
because then you'd know
125
00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:06,403
what the tell is and you'd hide
the tell from me,
126
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:07,821
and I wouldn't be able to tell.
It's like...
127
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:09,972
Wow, you ever thought
about working for the CIA?
128
00:07:10,056 --> 00:07:12,016
Yeah, actually,
I'm waiting to hear back.
129
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,267
Hey, Asta.
130
00:07:13,351 --> 00:07:16,228
The doctor had me call Braddock
to follow up on Harry's MRI.
131
00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:19,065
But they have no record of it.
132
00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:23,444
That's a mistake.
So I'll take care of it. Thank you.
133
00:07:26,322 --> 00:07:28,032
Why is she staring
at you like that?
134
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,993
What did you do?
135
00:07:31,077 --> 00:07:32,471
Don't you have better things
to do, Ellen?
136
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:34,121
Maybe unpack the shipment
of catheters
137
00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:35,414
that came in this morning?
138
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:37,166
Oh, right.
The fun stuff.
139
00:07:42,088 --> 00:07:43,464
Got my eye on you,
Twelvetrees.
140
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,269
The power source is damaged.
141
00:07:57,353 --> 00:07:59,897
Built to provide energy
for 5,000 years
142
00:07:59,981 --> 00:08:01,816
but apparently
not built to withstand
143
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,776
an unprotected fall
into a crevasse.
144
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:07,113
Certain alien races implant
tiny transmitters
145
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:09,657
into human beings
to monitor their activity.
146
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,325
If I can find one of those,
147
00:08:11,409 --> 00:08:14,120
I can reverse engineer it
to reboot my device.
148
00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:26,215
Aah!
149
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,341
Yeah.
150
00:08:29,093 --> 00:08:30,886
I heard you fell down
a crevasse.
151
00:08:31,262 --> 00:08:32,763
Did you find
your radio?
152
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:37,476
My radio is broken.
I'm trying to fix it.
153
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,520
Well, maybe I can help.
154
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,981
Is this it?
155
00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,190
Don't touch that.
156
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:47,236
You need...
157
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:48,446
...to leave.
158
00:08:49,155 --> 00:08:50,781
At least you're okay.
159
00:08:52,867 --> 00:08:54,452
If Asta wasn't there,
160
00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:56,162
I would be dead.
161
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:59,457
Except now she knows
the truth about me.
162
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,666
You told her?
163
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:03,711
I thought this whole alien thing
was just our secret.
164
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:06,005
It stopped
being a secret
165
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:09,133
when you told your
little friend over there
166
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,593
in the head covering.
167
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,511
She must have followed me.
168
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,555
Don't worry.
She's not gonna tell anyone.
169
00:09:15,139 --> 00:09:16,849
She swore to Allah.
170
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:18,768
Allah knows?
171
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:20,978
How many people
have you told?
172
00:09:25,316 --> 00:09:27,068
Are you trying
to cut me out?
173
00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:29,445
'Cause if it wasn't for me,
you'd be in Georgia by now.
174
00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:32,281
I made this truce happen.
I want in.
175
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,783
You are so pushy.
176
00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:35,367
Oh.
177
00:09:35,451 --> 00:09:38,662
Looks like aliens are also put off
by strong women.
178
00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,124
Get used to it.
We're not going anywhere.
179
00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:45,700
What are you hiding
under there?
180
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,214
I covered it
for a reason.
181
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,508
It's his radio
so he can contact his people.
182
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,635
But it's broken.
So he's trying to fix it.
183
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:55,513
Why can't you just go home
on your spaceship?
184
00:09:59,475 --> 00:10:01,435
They took it, didn't they?
185
00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:03,312
How did you know that?
186
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:06,190
Must be the government.
That means they're after you.
187
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,150
It could be
any of the agencies.
188
00:10:08,234 --> 00:10:10,778
But it's probably
Men in Black.
189
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,655
It's a top-secret agency
190
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,533
that monitors
alien activity on Earth.
191
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,535
But they don't always
wear black,
192
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,120
and they're not only men.
193
00:10:20,371 --> 00:10:23,499
Then why do they call them
"Men in Black"?
194
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:27,419
'Cause it's cooler than calling them
"People in Clothes."
195
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,964
It's pretty obvious.
196
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,507
I'm not worried.
197
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:36,095
Once I fix my radio,
198
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,848
they won't be a problem.
199
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,015
I'm just missing a part.
200
00:10:40,099 --> 00:10:41,409
Have you tried
the hardware store?
201
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:42,893
They have everything.
202
00:10:42,977 --> 00:10:45,437
My dad even bought
a pair of pajamas there.
203
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:49,567
Unless you know someone
who has been in contact
204
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:50,985
with other aliens,
then I'm...
205
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,486
What is the expression?
206
00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:56,615
"Shit out of luck."
207
00:10:57,158 --> 00:10:59,577
If you don't stop using that
kind of language around us,
208
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,596
we're gonna have to wash
your mouth out with soap.
209
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:02,913
Go ahead.
I like soap.
210
00:11:02,997 --> 00:11:04,623
I eat it all the time.
211
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:07,293
Shit, ass, piss, dink.
212
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,420
Where is the soap?
I'm so hungry.
213
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:15,134
Wait, I know where you can go
to find alien stuff.
214
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,514
Oh.
215
00:11:27,188 --> 00:11:28,647
Hey.
Where are you going?
216
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:33,068
I need to go pick up
a missing piece for my radio.
217
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:36,030
No. You are not
driving with one leg.
218
00:11:37,448 --> 00:11:38,490
Whoa!
219
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:41,118
Your leg grew back.
220
00:11:41,202 --> 00:11:43,287
Just like I said it would.
221
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,749
Now I have got to go.
222
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,545
Okay. Even as a pretend doctor,
you have to know
223
00:11:51,629 --> 00:11:53,398
that the medication
still stays in your system.
224
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:56,133
I just took more.
I'll be fine.
225
00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:02,806
Which one is my truck?
226
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:04,934
Okay.
227
00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:06,685
Give me these.
228
00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:08,229
I will drive you.
229
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,856
Where are we going?
230
00:12:12,066 --> 00:12:14,109
Wow. We're really
gonna do this.
231
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:20,741
Are they
supposed to be me?
232
00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:24,453
My people
are not a costume.
233
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:27,498
Welcome to my life.
234
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,712
Oh, this is
gonna be fun.
235
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,891
Kind of cool that I'm here
with an actual alien.
236
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,726
I feel special.
237
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,312
You're not special.
You're common.
238
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,189
That's oddly
less offensive now
239
00:12:52,273 --> 00:12:53,732
that I know you're
from outer space.
240
00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:57,653
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
241
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:02,199
Okay.
So what now?
242
00:13:06,412 --> 00:13:08,747
Our ancestors had teachers.
243
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:12,710
The engineering knowledge came
from the extraterrestrials.
244
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,628
Finally, a little credit.
245
00:13:14,712 --> 00:13:16,755
I like this
high-haired gentleman.
246
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,383
He's told us not to blow it
247
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:22,261
'Cause he knows
it's all worthwhile
248
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:25,222
He told me,
"Let the children lose it..."
249
00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:26,932
The Moon landing
was a sham.
250
00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:29,893
It was all filmed
on a soundstage by Kubrick.
251
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,563
The astronauts did land
on the Moon.
252
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:33,856
Good.
253
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,859
And their bodies were taken over
before they returned.
254
00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:37,985
What?
255
00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:41,071
And we find evidence of this
all around the world.
256
00:13:41,155 --> 00:13:44,158
Mayans, everyone talks
about their calendar,
257
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,994
but they never gave credit
for their day planner.
258
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,955
- We have the Grays.
- Insidious assholes.
259
00:13:50,039 --> 00:13:53,125
- The Arcturians.
- Jerks, so cheap.
260
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:54,251
Little Green Men.
261
00:13:54,335 --> 00:13:57,838
They are cute,
but they so know it.
262
00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:00,090
- The Mantis.
- One of them owes me money.
263
00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:02,926
And the Blue Avians.
264
00:14:04,762 --> 00:14:06,096
They're actually very nice.
265
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,735
Well, don't you two
look cozy?
266
00:14:20,778 --> 00:14:22,988
Hello, Sheriff.
267
00:14:23,781 --> 00:14:25,783
Do you have anything
you want to say to me?
268
00:14:27,451 --> 00:14:28,660
Well, I don't know.
269
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,716
Do you have anything
you want to say to me?
270
00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:33,665
In that case, yes.
271
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,043
Have a good day.
272
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,670
Goodbye, Lewis.
I'll see you on Thursday.
273
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,343
Thursday.
274
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,345
What's Thursday?
275
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:48,263
We're having lunch.
276
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,516
She's sitting here
probably trash-talking me,
277
00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:53,227
and you buying her lunch?
I see how it is.
278
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,270
She didn't say anything.
279
00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:59,191
In fact, she mostly listened.
You could use that.
280
00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:01,860
What is that
supposed to mean?
281
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:05,114
Your relationship with Liv
reminds me of me and your mom
282
00:15:05,197 --> 00:15:06,615
before she up and left me.
283
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:08,784
You mean when she died?
284
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,160
I'll never forgive her
for that.
285
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:13,372
Your mother was sharp.
She always challenged me.
286
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,374
When I messed up,
287
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,000
she wouldn't let me
off the hook
288
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,086
until I took steps to fix it.
289
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:21,964
You might want to think
about that one.
290
00:15:23,674 --> 00:15:25,384
Order me a burger.
Be right back.
291
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,595
- Oh.
- Hey, hey, hey. Dad, Dad.
292
00:15:28,679 --> 00:15:31,223
Hey, hey!
It's okay to ask for help.
293
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,100
Look who's talking.
294
00:15:43,527 --> 00:15:46,405
If you think
what you got is enough
295
00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,657
Then God gonna call your bluff
296
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,285
You got a long road ahead
297
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,246
Longer than you think
298
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,707
A long road ahead
299
00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:08,677
Sam's toxicology
results are in.
300
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,597
Botulinum Toxin A
levels are through the roof.
301
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:12,848
Sam was poisoned.
302
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:16,768
Maybe with insulin
as the method of delivery,
303
00:16:17,478 --> 00:16:20,272
all he or she would need to do
is inject the toxin
304
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:23,025
into a single insulin vial
305
00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:25,569
and wait for Sam to use it.
306
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:32,159
Ooh...
307
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,994
Son of a bitch.
308
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,247
Wake up in the morning
309
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:38,832
Rise and shine
310
00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:43,879
Wake up in the morning
Rise and shine
311
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:48,383
Wake up in the morning
Rise and shine...
312
00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:51,136
Hey, Sheriff, have a seat.
I'll be with you in about ten.
313
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:54,223
Yeah, well, I ain't here
on grooming business.
314
00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:56,517
I'm here on official
sheriff's business.
315
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,310
I see you do
Botox injections.
316
00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,436
Yeah.
317
00:16:59,895 --> 00:17:02,606
You'll need about 20 units
for that furrowed brow.
318
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:04,441
Well, I got
news for you.
319
00:17:04,525 --> 00:17:06,652
I like to furrow,
and I like the lines.
320
00:17:07,236 --> 00:17:08,862
Abigail Hodges,
you're under arrest
321
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:10,239
for the murder
of Sam Hodges.
322
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,366
What? What are you
talking about?
323
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:13,635
I'll tell you
what I'm talking about.
324
00:17:13,659 --> 00:17:15,303
You see, I went through
your phone records,
325
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:16,828
and I found
repeated calls,
326
00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:18,872
and I mean a shit ton of them,
to one number.
327
00:17:18,956 --> 00:17:20,582
You know
who it belonged to?
328
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:21,708
Thomas Hoffman.
329
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,410
Okay, fine.
We are casually seeing each other.
330
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,440
But are you gonna arrest me
for having a social life?
331
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:28,507
Can't a widow move on?
332
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:30,026
Well, of course,
a widow can move on.
333
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,760
The only problem
is those calls,
334
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,179
they started way
before Sam died.
335
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,866
You see, I think you wanted
to get rid of Sam
336
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,690
'cause you was having an affair.
That's motive.
337
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,477
Oh, now just hang
on a second...
338
00:17:40,561 --> 00:17:42,354
All you needed was
high levels of botulism,
339
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,231
which you clearly
had access to.
340
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:45,792
Then you took that poison,
and you put it
341
00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:47,776
in Sam's insulin bottle.
And then from there,
342
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,587
it was a ticking timebomb
just waiting to go off.
343
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:50,755
- No, just...
- And it finally did.
344
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,257
- Turn around and put your hands
behind your back. - Sheriff.
345
00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:54,491
Turn around. You have the right
to remain silent.
346
00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:56,015
Anything you say can
and will be used
347
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,494
against you
in a court of law.
348
00:17:57,578 --> 00:17:58,954
You got the right
to an attorney.
349
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:00,414
If you cannot afford
an attorney,
350
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:02,874
I'd be surprised because
this salon is bangin'.
351
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:06,420
Ooh, ooh
352
00:18:10,841 --> 00:18:12,050
What is it
you're looking for
353
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:14,177
at an alien
experiencer panel?
354
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,638
I'll know when I see it.
355
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:28,942
Thank you.
Hi, I'm Peter Bach.
356
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,695
Most of you know me
from my podcast
357
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,989
as "The Alien Tracker."
358
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,116
I have spent 15 years
359
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:38,952
working at the Carl Sagan Center
at SETI.
360
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:41,079
I've been
a government consultant.
361
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:43,749
And if you've read my books,
you'll know I possess
362
00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:46,668
a special skill set
that makes aliens fear me.
363
00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:49,713
And, of course,
I had my own encounter,
364
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,132
which was, well,
365
00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:55,177
terrifying to say the least.
366
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,220
So it's my honest belief
367
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,890
that aliens walk amongst us.
368
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,893
And my mission has become
to find aliens,
369
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,478
to trap them,
370
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,855
and, well...
371
00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:13,904
One shot of this...
372
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:17,199
10,000 volts,
I can knock out an elephant.
373
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,453
- You okay?
- Yes.
374
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,456
I'm not an elephant.
375
00:19:24,539 --> 00:19:27,250
I also found that talking
about my encounter
376
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,961
helped me feel
a sense of control.
377
00:19:30,087 --> 00:19:33,090
And I'd like you to think
of this as a safe forum
378
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,424
where you can do the same.
379
00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,968
So please, come on up
380
00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:39,179
and share with the room
381
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:41,098
with no judgment,
382
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,821
so we can all hear
about your experiences.
383
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:48,438
I was driving home
late one night
384
00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:51,066
when this blue light
385
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,235
beamed through
the roof of my car.
386
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,487
I woke with these
triangular cuts.
387
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,738
I was paralyzed.
388
00:19:56,822 --> 00:19:59,616
And lesions on my stomach
and across my back.
389
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,201
It was horrible.
390
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:02,411
Um...
391
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,705
It's etched on
my brain forever.
392
00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:10,293
They strapped me to this cold,
hard metal surface.
393
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,837
- They're monsters.
- And...
394
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,296
And they are here to kill us.
395
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:16,675
...took this long tubular rod
396
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:21,596
and they put it in my...
397
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,062
He was going
to say his asshole.
398
00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:31,273
One night,
a few months ago,
399
00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:34,025
my ex-husband
and I were fighting,
400
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:37,028
which is sort of a usual
thing for us.
401
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:38,655
Um...
402
00:20:39,531 --> 00:20:41,742
I finally decided
I'd had enough,
403
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:43,243
so I ran out,
404
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:47,539
but I wasn't sure
if I was doing the right thing.
405
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:50,709
And then I saw it.
406
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:54,421
It was a fire in the sky,
407
00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:57,758
like a guiding light.
408
00:20:59,176 --> 00:21:01,094
It gave me strength.
409
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,431
Strength to move on
and never look back.
410
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:08,143
Months later,
I came into contact
411
00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:11,521
with who I now know
was the occupant of that UFO.
412
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:15,609
Something about him
made me feel safe.
413
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,321
And not alone.
414
00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:24,159
And I know that that's not
what you all have experienced.
415
00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:26,369
But trust me,
416
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,497
based on my encounter,
417
00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:31,208
I don't think
they're monsters.
418
00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:35,796
I think some of them
are here to do good.
419
00:21:41,635 --> 00:21:43,470
Nope!
420
00:21:44,513 --> 00:21:45,764
Wow.
421
00:21:46,598 --> 00:21:48,058
Abigail Hodges.
422
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:50,101
- Who would have thought?
- Heh.
423
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:54,189
Well, congratulations on solving
the case. You must be happy.
424
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:56,066
Yeah, well,
you know, a man died.
425
00:21:56,149 --> 00:21:57,960
So there really isn't very much
to be happy about.
426
00:21:57,984 --> 00:22:00,445
Of course.
I just meant...
427
00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:04,825
Well, you did use up
a lot of resources dragging the lake.
428
00:22:04,908 --> 00:22:06,868
Like, a tremendous
amount, actually,
429
00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:09,621
that I'm still trying to justify
to the town council.
430
00:22:09,871 --> 00:22:12,749
Probably can't afford
to have Patience Family Day
431
00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:14,000
this year on the town green.
432
00:22:14,084 --> 00:22:16,545
But hey, you got
to the bottom it.
433
00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:18,421
- Uh-huh.
- That's what's important.
434
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,566
Yeah, that's right.
That's what's important. Thank you.
435
00:22:22,968 --> 00:22:25,470
- Okay.
- Yeah.
436
00:22:35,564 --> 00:22:38,650
Hello to you, Jay.
What can I get for you?
437
00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:41,027
We have a happy hour
special on IPAs.
438
00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:45,365
Are you offering me a drink?
I'm not even 18 yet.
439
00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:50,954
I meant to offer you a juice
in an opaque mug.
440
00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:52,831
Well, actually,
I just came in to ask
441
00:22:52,914 --> 00:22:54,875
if I could interview you
for the school paper.
442
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,627
Everyone in town
is talking about the rescue.
443
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:02,549
I'm so sick of people
making a big deal about this.
444
00:23:02,632 --> 00:23:04,551
You don't have to put me
on a pedestal.
445
00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:07,846
It won't take long, and I'm only
doing it for the extra credit.
446
00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:10,974
Oh, well, in that case...
447
00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:16,062
Thanks.
It's only a few questions.
448
00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:19,524
- Ask away.
- All right.
449
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,320
So, you were
an Olympic skier.
450
00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:29,075
What was it like to wipe out and lose
in front of the whole world?
451
00:23:31,828 --> 00:23:32,996
Not awesome.
452
00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:36,875
Would you consider
yourself a fallen hero
453
00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:38,835
because you were a hero
and then you fell?
454
00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:41,713
Hmm. Mmm.
455
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:45,800
Um, I don't know.
I thought this interview
456
00:23:45,884 --> 00:23:48,887
was supposed to be
about the rescue thing.
457
00:23:49,346 --> 00:23:51,389
- I'm establishing background.
- Cool.
458
00:23:51,765 --> 00:23:53,475
So what happened
to your hand?
459
00:23:53,558 --> 00:23:56,728
Fractured it. First time I fell
down the crevasse.
460
00:23:57,312 --> 00:23:58,605
You fell down a crevasse?
461
00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:01,691
Yeah. What did you
think happened?
462
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:05,987
I don't know. I thought you were stuck
on top of the mountain.
463
00:24:06,071 --> 00:24:07,991
You climbed out with your
hand looking like that?
464
00:24:08,323 --> 00:24:09,866
Well, yeah.
Kind of had to.
465
00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,369
I was 30 feet down.
466
00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:14,079
Asta and Harry
were down even further.
467
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:17,040
I knew any rescue effort would have
to wait until the storm had passed,
468
00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:20,210
at which point,
it would be too late
469
00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:23,171
as we would have all gone
into hypothermia
470
00:24:23,254 --> 00:24:24,381
and be dead.
471
00:24:25,298 --> 00:24:26,633
Asta could have died?
472
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:31,429
Yeah. She could have.
473
00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:34,265
I mean, we all
could have died, actually.
474
00:24:35,725 --> 00:24:37,018
We're pretty lucky.
475
00:24:39,062 --> 00:24:41,523
You know what, I, um,
476
00:24:41,606 --> 00:24:44,359
I think I'll take that juice
in the opaque mug now.
477
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:49,072
You bitch.
I almost lost you.
478
00:24:50,031 --> 00:24:52,325
Ow. Oh.
479
00:24:52,993 --> 00:24:55,453
Oh, I'm okay.
480
00:24:56,037 --> 00:24:57,872
I just feel like...
481
00:24:58,707 --> 00:25:01,310
You should probably, like, buy me a drink
or something 'cause I'm like... Ugh.
482
00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:04,004
My nerves
are like fried eggs.
483
00:25:05,463 --> 00:25:07,090
We're gonna do
two sodas.
484
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:09,050
One with vodka.
485
00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:13,054
When I woke up,
I had no idea where I was.
486
00:25:13,263 --> 00:25:15,515
I mean, one minute,
I was in bed,
487
00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:18,476
and the next minute,
I was lying in a ditch
488
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,186
by the side of the road.
489
00:25:20,270 --> 00:25:22,164
And they put something in me.
490
00:25:22,188 --> 00:25:23,231
Look.
491
00:25:24,774 --> 00:25:28,028
I don't know why,
but they're following me.
492
00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:30,155
They're listening.
493
00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:32,032
Look, you can see it.
494
00:25:35,952 --> 00:25:39,164
Alien technology.
That's it.
495
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,382
- Hey, honey.
- Hi.
496
00:25:50,967 --> 00:25:54,596
- Why do I smell fish?
- Because I made branzino.
497
00:25:59,142 --> 00:26:00,894
Tonight's supposed to be
taco night.
498
00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:03,664
Does that mean that tacos
are moving to tomorrow night?
499
00:26:03,688 --> 00:26:04,939
Because that's spaghetti.
500
00:26:05,023 --> 00:26:07,692
Will you relax, just try to
get out of your comfort zone?
501
00:26:07,776 --> 00:26:08,818
Yeah, but...
502
00:26:08,902 --> 00:26:10,445
Max is at the movies
with Sahar.
503
00:26:10,528 --> 00:26:12,781
So I invited a friend over
with her husband.
504
00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:16,868
I want you to meet them.
You're gonna love them.
505
00:26:16,951 --> 00:26:19,996
Yep. Maybe we could
do fish tacos.
506
00:26:22,582 --> 00:26:24,250
This is my husband, Ben.
507
00:26:24,334 --> 00:26:26,419
Ben, this is Sarah
and Richard Houston.
508
00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:28,213
Oh, come on.
We're friends.
509
00:26:28,296 --> 00:26:30,423
You can call him Dick.
510
00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:32,217
Well, we're having fish.
511
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,515
I want to thank you all
for coming and for sharing.
512
00:26:38,598 --> 00:26:39,682
Come down and visit me.
513
00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:41,601
We have a booth
on the con floor.
514
00:26:41,935 --> 00:26:44,479
A lot of cool merchandise.
Thank you.
515
00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:50,026
Excuse me.
516
00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:52,112
Wait. Harry,
where are you going?
517
00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:57,242
Alien Tracker, hold up.
518
00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:58,743
Alien Tracker!
519
00:26:58,827 --> 00:27:00,370
Can I get
an autograph?
520
00:27:02,413 --> 00:27:04,916
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
521
00:27:10,839 --> 00:27:12,423
Yeah.
You're welcome.
522
00:27:31,151 --> 00:27:32,569
Uh, sorry.
It's my turn.
523
00:27:35,947 --> 00:27:37,031
Do you mind?
524
00:27:37,115 --> 00:27:39,742
I'm going to cut that alien
technology out of your arm,
525
00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:41,077
and then I'm going to leave.
526
00:27:43,204 --> 00:27:45,165
- Aah! What the hell?
- Shh. Quiet.
527
00:27:47,083 --> 00:27:48,918
Aah! it's not alien.
It's a BB.
528
00:27:49,419 --> 00:27:51,629
- What? - A BB got lodged
in my arm when I was a kid.
529
00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:53,798
- Okay, I lied.
- What is wrong with you?
530
00:27:54,048 --> 00:27:55,425
You're the one
with the knife,
531
00:27:55,550 --> 00:27:57,719
you freakin' psycho.
532
00:27:59,012 --> 00:28:00,263
Ugh!
533
00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:04,434
What the hell is going on?
534
00:28:04,893 --> 00:28:07,604
What are you looking for?
And don't lie.
535
00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:09,063
I think I deserve
at least that.
536
00:28:12,692 --> 00:28:15,445
When the Grays
abduct a human,
537
00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:18,489
they leave alien technology
implanted on their body.
538
00:28:19,574 --> 00:28:21,451
It is a transmitter.
539
00:28:21,534 --> 00:28:24,037
It is a way for them
to track the victim.
540
00:28:24,162 --> 00:28:26,331
I need to find one.
541
00:28:27,373 --> 00:28:29,125
Is that why we're here?
542
00:28:29,626 --> 00:28:32,462
So you can rip an implant
out of some poor person's arm?
543
00:28:32,545 --> 00:28:37,383
It's for my radio. The implant
is made of an alien metal.
544
00:28:37,967 --> 00:28:39,135
I need it.
545
00:28:50,772 --> 00:28:52,357
The Alien Tracker
is after me.
546
00:28:53,316 --> 00:28:54,567
He can see me like Max.
547
00:28:55,526 --> 00:28:58,112
- I don't understand.
- The rest is self-explanatory.
548
00:28:58,196 --> 00:29:00,782
His name is Alien Tracker.
549
00:29:00,949 --> 00:29:04,327
- Maybe we should go then.
- Yes.
550
00:29:05,620 --> 00:29:07,932
It was, like... I mean, he designed
the whole thing himself,
551
00:29:07,956 --> 00:29:10,333
the whole thing.
He made it all on his own.
552
00:29:10,416 --> 00:29:11,668
Oh, I'm so sad.
553
00:29:11,751 --> 00:29:13,311
I thought Max was
gonna be here tonight.
554
00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:15,255
We're so looking forward
to meeting him.
555
00:29:15,338 --> 00:29:16,673
Right, honey?
556
00:29:16,756 --> 00:29:19,300
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. I love kids.
557
00:29:19,676 --> 00:29:21,386
We want them,
but the doctor said
558
00:29:21,511 --> 00:29:23,596
Sarah's probably too old.
559
00:29:23,763 --> 00:29:27,475
I'm sorry. I'm sure that
it will happen for you two.
560
00:29:27,558 --> 00:29:30,478
Meanwhile, enjoy the freedom,
'cause kids are a lot.
561
00:29:30,561 --> 00:29:32,146
Mmm.
562
00:29:32,397 --> 00:29:34,237
That's why it's so nice
having some adult time.
563
00:29:34,607 --> 00:29:35,984
Right, honey?
564
00:29:36,651 --> 00:29:40,488
Fun fact, more people die choking on
branzino bones per year than heart disease.
565
00:29:42,198 --> 00:29:43,908
Honey, could you help me
with dessert?
566
00:29:48,037 --> 00:29:50,331
Sweetie, you haven't said
two words all night.
567
00:29:51,791 --> 00:29:53,751
I'm pulling
all of the weight here.
568
00:29:53,876 --> 00:29:57,463
Well, I'm sorry. I think not having tacos
has kind of thrown me off my game.
569
00:29:58,006 --> 00:29:59,090
Look, I'm trying.
570
00:29:59,173 --> 00:30:02,218
You spent the last half hour playing
medical examiner with your fish bones.
571
00:30:02,302 --> 00:30:04,971
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
I swallowed most of them.
572
00:30:05,513 --> 00:30:06,973
Uh, it doesn't
make me feel better.
573
00:30:07,098 --> 00:30:08,141
Okay. I feel terrible.
574
00:30:09,183 --> 00:30:12,312
I really like
Sarah and Dick.
575
00:30:12,395 --> 00:30:14,605
And it's nice to have
couple friends who we can
576
00:30:14,689 --> 00:30:17,942
have over for dinner.
Can you try?
577
00:30:18,026 --> 00:30:20,987
Okay.
Look, I'll be more sociable.
578
00:30:21,070 --> 00:30:23,656
I'll talk to Dick
about candle making.
579
00:30:24,032 --> 00:30:26,200
Yeah, sure.
580
00:30:26,701 --> 00:30:28,870
Or something else.
581
00:30:29,746 --> 00:30:32,874
What? You don't... What?
You don't like my candles?
582
00:30:33,249 --> 00:30:37,670
No, I mean,
of course I love them.
583
00:30:38,129 --> 00:30:39,505
It's just,
584
00:30:40,089 --> 00:30:42,717
it's not really exciting
dinner conversation.
585
00:30:43,051 --> 00:30:44,093
Hmm.
586
00:30:44,302 --> 00:30:47,889
Not sure I want to live
in that world, but okay.
587
00:30:48,389 --> 00:30:50,141
Just leave the baby
talk to me, okay?
588
00:30:50,224 --> 00:30:51,476
I'm the mother-to-be.
589
00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:52,786
Well, that's not what
the doctor said.
590
00:30:52,810 --> 00:30:55,063
Hey, listen, asshole.
Just do your job.
591
00:30:55,271 --> 00:30:56,439
Keep them engaged
592
00:30:56,522 --> 00:30:58,362
so I can go on a little
reconnaissance mission.
593
00:30:58,441 --> 00:31:00,610
I did an Internet deep dive
and found pictures of Ben
594
00:31:00,693 --> 00:31:03,279
making these shitty candles.
Ask him about it.
595
00:31:03,446 --> 00:31:04,673
Hope everyone's
in the mood for pie.
596
00:31:04,697 --> 00:31:06,574
Oh. Can't wait.
597
00:31:06,824 --> 00:31:08,951
- May I use your powder room first?
- Of course.
598
00:31:12,246 --> 00:31:15,625
I have to say, these are really,
really nice candles.
599
00:31:15,792 --> 00:31:17,710
What are they
made of? Soy?
600
00:31:17,835 --> 00:31:19,462
Well, actually,
there are...
601
00:31:19,545 --> 00:31:22,465
Yeah, there are several
different kinds of, um...
602
00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:25,093
Not sure. I don't know.
603
00:31:26,719 --> 00:31:29,013
Just a regular
store-bought candle.
604
00:31:41,192 --> 00:31:42,235
Mmm.
605
00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:46,197
Okay, um, keep moving.
I got this.
606
00:31:48,533 --> 00:31:51,411
Oh, my God.
You're the Alien Tracker.
607
00:31:51,494 --> 00:31:55,039
I have listened to every
episode of your podcast.
608
00:31:55,123 --> 00:31:57,500
I was wondering if maybe
I could get a selfie with you.
609
00:31:58,126 --> 00:32:02,922
And this crazy dude came in
and tried to stab me with a scalpel.
610
00:32:03,214 --> 00:32:06,384
Why are you just staring at me?
Are you gonna help me?
611
00:32:06,467 --> 00:32:07,844
Can we just go look for him?
612
00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:11,639
I'm not crazy.
613
00:32:12,849 --> 00:32:16,185
- Hmm, hmm, hmm.
- Hey, can I help you?
614
00:32:16,352 --> 00:32:18,563
I need to hide.
Can you leave?
615
00:32:19,021 --> 00:32:20,231
What are you hiding from?
616
00:32:21,858 --> 00:32:24,068
The Alien Tracker.
He's chasing me.
617
00:32:27,780 --> 00:32:31,075
He thinks I'm an alien.
618
00:32:31,242 --> 00:32:34,704
Um... He's a crazy guy.
619
00:32:34,787 --> 00:32:38,040
Well, I have no problem
hiding aliens.
620
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,460
Wait a minute.
621
00:32:40,918 --> 00:32:43,588
You are that hair guy,
622
00:32:43,671 --> 00:32:45,756
the one who knows
all about ancient monuments.
623
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,634
Yeah, that's me.
Would you like a signed copy?
624
00:32:51,012 --> 00:32:54,307
I would rather have
flower-shaped fruit.
625
00:33:52,281 --> 00:33:55,326
Hey, what are you
doing up here?
626
00:33:55,493 --> 00:33:57,495
I know. I'm such
a snoop, right?
627
00:33:57,578 --> 00:33:59,163
I just love
your decorating style.
628
00:33:59,247 --> 00:34:01,287
I had to see what the rest
of the house looked like.
629
00:34:01,457 --> 00:34:03,918
You could have
asked for a tour.
630
00:34:09,048 --> 00:34:11,050
I'll be honest with you.
631
00:34:12,426 --> 00:34:19,308
This whole "not being able to have kids"
thing is really hard.
632
00:34:20,351 --> 00:34:22,603
And I just wanted
to see your son's room.
633
00:34:22,728 --> 00:34:24,063
Oh.
634
00:34:25,022 --> 00:34:26,566
I'm sorry.
635
00:34:26,691 --> 00:34:27,858
Yeah.
636
00:34:28,192 --> 00:34:30,111
Just don't give up.
637
00:34:30,194 --> 00:34:31,914
Women are having babies
older and older now.
638
00:34:31,988 --> 00:34:33,030
You just never know.
639
00:34:33,155 --> 00:34:35,783
I'm actually
not the problem.
640
00:34:35,866 --> 00:34:38,494
Dick only said that because
he's so self-conscious.
641
00:34:38,578 --> 00:34:41,789
But he has
very low motility.
642
00:34:41,998 --> 00:34:43,958
Look, if you want to get
a taste for it,
643
00:34:44,041 --> 00:34:45,751
you can babysit
Max whenever you want.
644
00:34:45,835 --> 00:34:47,962
Oh, I would love that.
645
00:34:49,297 --> 00:34:51,382
I'll take such
good care of him.
646
00:34:54,427 --> 00:34:59,390
What's interesting is that
the masonry style of Delphi, Cuzco,
647
00:34:59,473 --> 00:35:02,852
or Sacsayhuaman
are virtually identical,
648
00:35:02,935 --> 00:35:05,730
and they're considered
"navels of the world"
649
00:35:05,813 --> 00:35:08,107
where deities
descended from the sky
650
00:35:08,190 --> 00:35:11,527
and imparted knowledge
to the local population.
651
00:35:11,861 --> 00:35:15,406
So those places are on two opposite
ends of the planet,
652
00:35:15,489 --> 00:35:17,783
and they have
the same stories.
653
00:35:18,117 --> 00:35:21,954
So you have to wonder
if these people had been visited
654
00:35:22,038 --> 00:35:23,664
by the same beings.
655
00:35:23,748 --> 00:35:27,043
And if so, then you have
to ask the question,
656
00:35:27,126 --> 00:35:30,004
"Who were they
and where did they come from?"
657
00:35:31,672 --> 00:35:34,884
- You should be on television.
- Okay.
658
00:35:34,967 --> 00:35:38,095
- I have to go.
- I hope I didn't bore you.
659
00:35:38,179 --> 00:35:39,847
No.
660
00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:41,849
You're out of
fruit flowers.
661
00:35:41,932 --> 00:35:43,684
I left you the
honeydew melon.
662
00:35:43,976 --> 00:35:46,479
They taste like
old women's perfume.
663
00:36:00,576 --> 00:36:03,371
Kate doesn't love
the whole candle thing?
664
00:36:03,454 --> 00:36:05,374
I accidentally spilled
some wax on her head once.
665
00:36:05,456 --> 00:36:06,457
She lost some hair.
666
00:36:06,582 --> 00:36:07,792
- Yeah.
What are you gonna do?
667
00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:11,379
Yeah, I get it. You know,
Sarah can get pretty particular
668
00:36:11,462 --> 00:36:12,755
about the things I do too.
669
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:13,923
- Mmm-hmm.
- So yeah.
670
00:36:14,006 --> 00:36:15,800
Very passionate,
very passionate ladies.
671
00:36:15,883 --> 00:36:17,218
Oh, that's one word for it.
672
00:36:21,430 --> 00:36:24,100
Want to fire it up?
Show you how it's done.
673
00:36:24,183 --> 00:36:26,352
- Yes, yes.
- You sure?
674
00:36:26,435 --> 00:36:27,937
- Please, yeah, yeah. Oh!
- Oh.
675
00:36:28,020 --> 00:36:29,313
- Oh.
- Oh!
676
00:36:29,397 --> 00:36:30,648
- Oh.
- Okay.
677
00:36:37,029 --> 00:36:39,782
I just find it
pretty relaxing.
678
00:36:39,865 --> 00:36:41,117
Yeah.
679
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,412
Helps me cope with
the pressures of being mayor,
680
00:36:45,371 --> 00:36:48,165
especially after
the town doctor was murdered.
681
00:36:50,334 --> 00:36:53,129
- That's horrible.
- Yeah, yeah.
682
00:36:53,838 --> 00:36:55,381
We did just make
an arrest though.
683
00:36:55,464 --> 00:36:58,259
And it was the first
murder in Patience
684
00:36:58,342 --> 00:37:00,386
since, like, the 1800s.
685
00:37:00,928 --> 00:37:03,264
I've always wanted
to say, you know,
686
00:37:03,889 --> 00:37:06,726
"Not on my watch, buddy."
687
00:37:06,809 --> 00:37:11,188
But yeah,
it was on my watch.
688
00:37:14,442 --> 00:37:17,403
Think I might have been
across the street when it happened.
689
00:37:20,197 --> 00:37:21,615
Uh...
690
00:37:23,033 --> 00:37:25,035
Do you like pumpkin spice?
691
00:37:29,999 --> 00:37:31,876
Mmm. That was close.
692
00:37:32,752 --> 00:37:36,005
It's like everybody is talking
about me like I'm some big hero...
693
00:37:36,088 --> 00:37:38,340
Close to you...
694
00:37:38,466 --> 00:37:41,051
Except for the two people
whose lives I actually saved
695
00:37:41,135 --> 00:37:44,805
that incidentally are both
completely ignoring me.
696
00:37:46,015 --> 00:37:48,058
Close to you...
697
00:37:48,142 --> 00:37:50,227
I should be hanging out
with my friend right now.
698
00:37:50,352 --> 00:37:54,899
Bitch, I'm your friend.
We're closer than you and Asta.
699
00:37:55,399 --> 00:37:57,026
We shared a boyfriend
in high school.
700
00:37:57,109 --> 00:37:59,570
You mean the guy that you
slept with behind my back?
701
00:37:59,653 --> 00:38:01,614
I grabbed his dick,
and he was into it.
702
00:38:01,697 --> 00:38:03,574
So what am I
supposed to do, say "no"?
703
00:38:03,657 --> 00:38:04,825
Oh, yeah.
Fair point.
704
00:38:06,452 --> 00:38:09,580
It just, like, bothers me
I can't get ahold of them.
705
00:38:09,663 --> 00:38:11,081
I've been texting all day.
706
00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:13,584
I don't know. Maybe something
happened to her.
707
00:38:13,959 --> 00:38:16,837
Maybe they're not okay. I don't know.
It's kind of freaking me out.
708
00:38:16,921 --> 00:38:19,465
Yeah, probably something bad
did happen to her.
709
00:38:19,548 --> 00:38:21,342
I don't know.
She probably got kidnapped
710
00:38:21,467 --> 00:38:23,511
or something or, like,
people are after her
711
00:38:23,594 --> 00:38:26,096
and, like, she's in
the back of a car, like, in a trunk,
712
00:38:26,180 --> 00:38:29,016
like, screaming and, like,
pounding and, like...
713
00:38:29,099 --> 00:38:30,684
Or she could be dead.
714
00:38:30,768 --> 00:38:32,528
She could be dead
in a ditch somewhere, like,
715
00:38:32,561 --> 00:38:37,233
covered in blood and, like,
intestines are, like, trailing out...
716
00:38:37,316 --> 00:38:38,901
Is this supposed to
help me feel better?
717
00:38:39,109 --> 00:38:41,987
Okay. So we're gonna
switch gears over to karaoke.
718
00:38:42,530 --> 00:38:45,699
First up, we have our own Liv Baker
singing a song for us.
719
00:38:45,908 --> 00:38:47,451
Come on.
720
00:38:54,667 --> 00:38:58,295
Oh, whoa
721
00:39:00,381 --> 00:39:05,052
It must have been cold there
in my shadow
722
00:39:08,013 --> 00:39:13,602
To never have sunlight
on your face
723
00:39:16,105 --> 00:39:20,734
You were content
to let me shine
724
00:39:20,818 --> 00:39:22,778
That's your way
725
00:39:24,113 --> 00:39:28,576
You always walked
a step behind
726
00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:36,250
So I was the one
with all the glory
727
00:39:36,417 --> 00:39:37,835
What the hell is happening?
728
00:39:38,252 --> 00:39:44,508
While you were the one
with all the strength
729
00:39:46,969 --> 00:39:53,309
A beautiful face
without a name for so long
730
00:39:54,685 --> 00:39:59,565
A beautiful smile
that hides the pain
731
00:40:01,525 --> 00:40:06,864
Did you ever know
that you're my hero?
732
00:40:09,199 --> 00:40:15,080
And everything
I would like to be?
733
00:40:17,124 --> 00:40:23,297
I can fly higher than an eagle
734
00:40:25,049 --> 00:40:30,304
You are the wind
beneath my wings
735
00:40:34,433 --> 00:40:36,018
Okay.
736
00:40:42,066 --> 00:40:44,526
Guess I'm deputy again.
737
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:57,456
Oh, shit.
738
00:40:59,959 --> 00:41:02,252
I first learned the concept
of two for one
739
00:41:02,336 --> 00:41:05,714
when there was a sale
on day-old baguettes at the market.
740
00:41:11,345 --> 00:41:13,430
But having this Alien Tracker
in my grips
741
00:41:13,514 --> 00:41:15,891
and discovering he was
implanted with the very chip
742
00:41:15,975 --> 00:41:18,686
I need is even more exciting
743
00:41:18,769 --> 00:41:21,605
than getting an extra
two-foot-long crouton.
744
00:41:22,481 --> 00:41:23,649
Don't move.
745
00:41:23,857 --> 00:41:27,236
I'm taking that alien
technology out of your neck.
746
00:41:27,319 --> 00:41:30,864
No, wait.
Where is my baby?
747
00:41:31,824 --> 00:41:32,866
What baby?
748
00:41:32,950 --> 00:41:36,495
The one you took out of my wife
30 years ago on the bus.
749
00:41:36,578 --> 00:41:39,123
We don't do that.
That's the Grays.
750
00:41:39,206 --> 00:41:40,290
You're a Gray.
751
00:41:40,374 --> 00:41:43,293
- How dare you!
- Please don't take it out.
752
00:41:43,377 --> 00:41:46,296
It's the only way they can
find me if they come back.
753
00:41:46,505 --> 00:41:48,841
It's the only way
I'll ever meet my son.
754
00:41:50,551 --> 00:41:52,261
They're not
coming back for you.
755
00:41:53,512 --> 00:41:55,764
They already got
what they wanted.
756
00:42:05,232 --> 00:42:06,608
I recognize you.
757
00:42:06,692 --> 00:42:08,610
You were in that
Experiencer Panel.
758
00:42:08,736 --> 00:42:09,862
Mmm, yeah.
759
00:42:09,945 --> 00:42:11,697
I heard what
you said up there.
760
00:42:11,780 --> 00:42:14,658
It was very touching.
But you should be careful.
761
00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:17,995
- What do you mean?
- For all you know,
762
00:42:18,287 --> 00:42:21,498
your alien is a Christopher
Columbus of the sky.
763
00:43:11,673 --> 00:43:14,593
Let's go.
I got what I needed.
764
00:43:14,802 --> 00:43:16,386
Well, that makes
me nervous.
765
00:43:16,470 --> 00:43:18,263
Don't worry.
I didn't hurt him.
766
00:43:19,556 --> 00:43:21,975
He was on his knees,
thanking me.
767
00:43:22,309 --> 00:43:25,687
- You're a monster.
- You're welcome.
768
00:43:28,357 --> 00:43:30,192
There are no monsters.
769
00:43:31,193 --> 00:43:34,279
Beings do what needs to be
done in order to survive.
770
00:43:48,585 --> 00:43:50,003
Asta!
771
00:43:51,255 --> 00:43:53,882
No bye, no aloha...
772
00:43:55,050 --> 00:43:56,844
Are you in there?
773
00:43:58,846 --> 00:44:02,891
Gone with a rock promoter
774
00:44:09,106 --> 00:44:11,900
A rock promoter...
775
00:44:12,401 --> 00:44:14,486
Aah!
776
00:44:14,820 --> 00:44:16,113
Ow, shit!
777
00:44:18,198 --> 00:44:20,325
And now may die
778
00:44:24,997 --> 00:44:29,501
Oh, the treats
779
00:44:34,047 --> 00:44:35,841
Saw it on the wall
780
00:44:35,924 --> 00:44:38,677
"Motherhood means
mental freeze"
781
00:44:41,889 --> 00:44:43,390
Freezeheads
782
00:44:44,892 --> 00:44:47,603
No aloha
783
00:44:50,814 --> 00:44:53,358
I know, I saw
784
00:44:53,859 --> 00:44:55,861
And now may die
785
00:44:56,305 --> 00:45:56,538
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