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[upbeat music]

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♪

- MR. THORPE WILL SEE YOU NOW.

- MR. THORPE.

- HEY!

WELCOME HOME, MICHAEL.

- GOOD TO BE HERE. - [chuckles]

- HOW WAS AUSTRALIA? - HOT.

- HA! SO THEY TELL ME.

TAKE A SEAT. - THANK YOU.

- WELL, NICE WORK, MICHAEL.

- AHH. YEAH.

- I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU TO GET THE JOB DONE.

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE THE COMPANY FIXER.

- THIS FIXER'S TIRED.

IT'S BEEN NINE MONTHS. I'M READY FOR A BREAK.

- YEAH, AND I WISH I COULD GIVE IT TO YOU.

BUT, UH, THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I NEED YOU ON RIGHT AWAY.

- OH, YEAH? WHAT'S THAT.

- APPARENTLY, THE LAND WE PURCHASED

HAS TO BE THOROUGHLY INSPECTED...

FOR LEPRECHAUNS.

- YOU ALMOST HAD ME ON THAT ONE.

- YEAH, IT ISN'T A JOKE.

APPARENTLY, THE PEOPLE IN THE AREA

ARE VERY SUPERSTITIOUS,

AND THEY TAKE THEIR LEPRECHAUNS VERY SERIOUSLY.

AND UNLESS OUR SITE IS DECLARED A LEPRECHAUN-FREE ZONE,

THEY WON'T WORK ON IT.

- THAT'S CRAZY. - WELL, I DON'T KNOW,

BUT IT NEEDS TO BE HANDLED.

I'M COUNTING ON YOU, MICHAEL.

WE'VE INVESTED VERY HEAVILY IN THIS PROJECT.

SO, UH, DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO

TO GET THINGS MOVING.

- LEPRECHAUNS.

- MET EIRANN SAYS TEMPERATURES ARE SET TO FALL

AS LOW AS MINUS NINE DEGREES TONIGHT,

AND MORE SNOW IS FORECAST FOR THE NORTH AND WEST.

ROAD USERS ARE URGED TO EXERCISE EXTREME CAUTION

AS BLACK ICE AND FREEZING FOG

CONTINUE TO AFFECT PARTS OF THE SOUTH.

THESE CONDITIONS ARE EXPECTED TO LAST UNTIL THE WEEKEND,

AND TEMPERATURES SHOULD RISE.

AND NOW, IT'S BACK TO THE SPORTS DESK.

- EXCUSE ME.

- YOU NEED A HAND?

- YEAH, I'M LOOKING FOR A--

FOR A TOWN CALLED...

BALLYGLENN?

- AH, YOU'RE IN LUCK. I KNOW IT WELL.

- IS THIS THE-- THAT THE--

THIS THE RIGHT ROAD?

- WELL, IT'S NOT EXACTLY THE WRONG ROAD.

- HOW DO I GET THERE?

- ALL RIGHT, WELL, TO GET TO BALLY, UH, GLENN FROM HERE,

YOU SEE, YOU'D HAVE TO GO UP PAST BALLYDERMOT

UNTIL YOU GET TO BALLYKILLEEN,

THEN YOU'D HAVE TO GO THROUGH BALLYBRYAN AND BALLYSHANNON...

DO YOU KNOW WHAT?

I KNOW A SHORTCUT.

WHY DON'T YOU FOLLOW ME?

- FOLLOW YOU?

- COME ON.

- UH...

- OOH!

[grunts]

OHH! THERE YOU GO.

- THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.

- NAH, NOT AT ALL. NOT AT ALL.

- HOPE I DIDN'T TAKE YOU TOO FAR OUT OF YOUR WAY.

- OH, I'VE LEARNED TO ENJOY DETOURS.

YOU END UP FINDING SURPRISING AND WONDERFUL PLACES

YOU NEVER EVEN KNEW EXISTED.

GOOD DAY TO YOU, NOW.

- THANKS AGAIN.

- THE MAYOR WILL SEE YOU NOW.

- I'M, UH, MATT DONNAFLIN,

AND I'M THE TOWN MAYOR, AND THIS IS PATRICK DOYLE.

HE'S THE HEAD OF THE LOCAL BUSINESS COUNCIL.

- WE'LL DO EVERYTHING WE CAN TO HELP.

- WELL, GENTLEMEN, YOU CAN START BY EXPLAINING THE PROBLEM.

- YES, I'M SORRY ABOUT THE LITTLE SETBACK.

IT'S JUST THAT WHEN THE LOCATION

OF THE SMELTING PLANT WAS ANNOUNCED...

- MM-HMM.

- THERE WAS SOME CONCERNS ABOUT THE IMPACT IT MIGHT HAVE

ON THE LOCAL INDIGENOUS POPULATION.

- EXPLAIN THAT TO ME.

- THE LEPRECHAUNS. - AND YOU'RE SERIOUS?

- WELL, YOU SEE, WE HAVE A BIT OF A LAW.

AN ORDINANCE ON THE BOOKS GOING BACK OVER 100 YEARS.

AND BEFORE ANY NEW CONSTRUCTION CAN BEGIN,

THE AREA HAS TO BE INSPECTED FOR SIGNS OF

LITTLE PEOPLE HABITATION.

- WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO?

- ALL YOU HAVE TO DO

IS TO GET THE LOCAL INSPECTOR TO SIGN THAT CERTIFICATE

STATING THAT THE AREA IS UNOCCUPIED.

- OF COURSE, THERE'S A LOCAL...

LEPRECHAUN INSPECTOR, RIGHT?

- MM.

- JUST GO INTO THE PUB ON KILLARNEY STREET

AND ASK FOR SARAH CAVANAUGH.

- ALL RIGHT, MR. MAYOR. [clears throat]

LET'S DO WHAT NEEDS TO GET DONE.

- EXACTLY.

- NICE TO MEET YOU, MR. MAYOR.

- YOU'RE WELCOME.

- MR. GARRETT, I'VE, UH,

ACQUIRED QUITE AN EXTENSIVE PROPERTY PORTFOLIO

IN THE LOCAL AREA.

BELIEVE YOU ME,

I UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF THAT PLANT.

IF YOU RUN INTO ANY PROBLEMS AND NEED ANYTHING,

AND I MEAN ANYTHING...

DON'T HESITATE TO GIVE ME A CALL.

- I'LL BE IN TOUCH.

[fiddle playing Irish tune]

♪

- WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

- ARE YOU SARAH CAVANAUGH?

- WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

- THE LOCAL LEPRECHAUN EXPERT?

- WELL, I... KNOW WHEN THEY'RE ABOUT,

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.

- I'M MICHAEL GARRETT. I REPRESENT THORPE INDUSTRIES.

WE'RE BUILDING THAT BIG PLANT ON THE OUTSIDE OF TOWN.

- HMM.

SO YOU'RE HERE ABOUT THE ORDINANCE.

- I GOTTA SAY, IT'S A...

NICE LITTLE SIDE BUSINESS YOU'VE GOT GOING ON.

- I CONSIDER IT A SERVICE TO THE COMMUNITY.

- OF COURSE, OF COURSE.

LOOK, HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME.

I GET IT.

- AND WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU GET?

- YOU JUST PUT YOUR JOHN HANCOCK ON THEIR CERTIFICATE

AND SEND ME THE BILL.

- I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T WANT MY MONEY?

EVERYBODY WANTS MY MONEY.

- I DON'T CHARGE FOR MY SERVICES.

AND I'M NOT GOING TO PUT MY... JOHN HANCOCK ON ANYTHING

TILL I'VE ACTUALLY SEEN THE LAND.

- MISS CAVANAUGH...

- TAKE MY ADVICE.

GIVE HER TIME TO COOL DOWN.

- YEAH, I BLEW IT, DIDN'T I?

- WELL...YA DID.

[bell rings]

[door creaks]

both: HI.

- IS THIS THE B&B?

- INDEED IT IS.

YOU MUST BE THE AMERICAN. MR. GARRETT?

- INDEED I AM. - I'M EVELYN MAGUIRE.

WHAT PART OF AMERICA ARE YOU FROM?

- NEW YORK CITY. - [gasps] NEW YORK!

BROADWAY, CENTRAL PARK,

THE STATUE OF LIBERTY!

- HAVE YOU EVER BEEN? - NO.

I'VE HARDLY BEEN DOWN THE ROAD.

BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO.

COME ON, I'LL SHOW YOU YOUR ROOM.

- OH, SURE.

[door creaks]

- HERE WE ARE.

I'VE GIVEN YOU MY BEST ROOM.

I HOPE YOU'LL BE COMFORTABLE.

YOU'VE AN EXTRA QUILT.

NEW CARPET.

- WHERE'S THE, UH...

- OH, DOWN THE HALL.

NOW, BREAKFAST WILL BE SERVED EVERY MORNING

AT 8:00 IN THE DINING ROOM.

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG YOU'LL BE HERE FOR?

- I DON'T THINK THAT LONG.

- OH.

WELL, I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY TIME WHILE YOU'RE HERE.

LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.

- [clears throat]

EXCUSE ME.

- IS THERE...

IS THERE HEAT IN THE... OR SOMETHING?

- OH, YES.

I HAVE IT ON FULL.

[door creaks]

[door shuts]

[wind whistling]

[faint squeaking, laughter]

- HELLO?

- [squeaking]

OHH! - UHH!

OH!

- MISS CAVANAUGH, I'M SORRY.

- MR. GARRETT. - THAT'S RIGHT.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT?

- [sniffles] I COULDN'T SLEEP.

- HMM. GUILTY CONSCIENCE, NO DOUBT.

- CHRONIC JETLAG.

MY BODY NEVER SEEMS TO STAY IN ONE PLACE LONG ENOUGH

TO CATCH UP-- WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?

- I'M GOING HOME.

I DO HAVE A CLOSING TIME.

- I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

YEAH?

YOU SEE, IN MY LINE OF WORK,

SOMETIMES I HAVE TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE WHO AREN'T...

EXACTLY HONEST.

AND I APOLOGIZE FOR THINKING THAT OF YOU.

- WELL, IT'S A SORRY THING,

THINKIN' THE WORST OF PEOPLE BEFORE YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

- YEAH, WELL... [sniffles]

SO MAYBE WE'RE BOTH A LITTLE BIT GUILTY, HUH?

- MISS CAVANAUGH, I NEED YOUR HELP.

- OKAY...I'LL INSPECT YOUR LAND, MR. GARRETT.

- THANK YOU.

- YOU CAN PICK ME UP AT THE PUB TOMORROW MORNING.

- WILL DO.

- IF I WERE YOU, I'D BE GETTING MYSELF INDOORS NOW.

- WHY'S THAT? - WELL...

FOR THE PAST FEW NIGHTS,

I'VE BEEN HEARING THE CRY OF A BANSHEE.

MEANS SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO DIE.

NOT A GOOD TIME TO BE OUT AND ABOUT.

- COME ON.

I MEAN, YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?

- OH, I NEVER JOKE ABOUT THE UNSEEN WORLD, MR. GARRETT.

DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

[high-pitched chatter]

[scurrying]

- GOOD MORNING.

- GOOD MORNING, MR. GARRETT.

OH, I HAVE YOU UP HERE.

- EXCELLENT.

OR DO I SAY "TOP O' THE MORNING"?

- [laughs]

YOU NEVER HEAR THAT IN IRELAND.

- WHAT'S ALL THIS?

- AH, IT'S JUST BREAKFAST.

BACON, EGGS, SAUSAGE, TOMATO, PUDDING, AND POTATO BREAD.

- [forced chuckle]

OKAY.

AHEM, I COULD...

BECOME A...

WHAT'S THIS?

- IT'S BLOOD PUDDING.

- [laughs]

[coughs]

HEY-HEY.

- MORNIN LAD.

- WELL...

YOU GUYS ARE HERE EARLY, HUH?

- IS THERE ANOTHER PLACE TO BE?

- [clears throat] YOU MIGHT BE ON TO SOMETHING.

- BY THE WAY, MY NAME IS SHEAMUS.

SHEAMUS O'CONNELL.

- NICE TO MEET YOU, SHEAMUS.

MICHAEL GARRETT.

I'M LOOKING FOR SARAH. IS SHE AROUND?

- SHE'S ABOUT THE PLACE SOMEWHERE, YEAH.

HAVE YOU, UH... YOU HAVE BUSINESS WITH HER?

- IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING, YES, I DO.

- RIGHT.

- I'M READY. - THERE YOU ARE.

GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED?

- YEAH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- YOU DON'T NEED A PENDULUM OR SOMETHING?

DIVINING ROD?

- NO, NO, MR. GARRETT.

I'VE GOT EVERYTHING I NEED TO WORK WITH RIGHT HERE.

- WHAT'S THAT?

- PEPPER SPRAY.

- [laughs]

- WISH ME LUCK.

- WELL, MOLLY... WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- I THINK HE'S IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE

AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT YET.

[laughter]

[indistinct chatter]

- SO WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE LOOKING FOR?

- WELL, THE LITTLE PEOPLE LIVE IN ROCKS

AND TREES AND THE UNDERGROUND.

- YOU EVER SEEN A LEPRECHAUN BEFORE?

- [sighs]

I BELIEVE IN MANY THINGS I HAVE NEVER SEEN.

- I'M SORRY, IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THEM,

HOW WE GONNA KNOW WHEN WE FIND IT?

- OH, THEY'LL MAKE THEIR PRESENCE KNOWN.

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

[high-pitched chatter and scurrying]

- ANYTHING? - SHH!

[chatter and scurrying continues]

I THOUGHT I HEARD SOMETHING.

NOPE, NOT HERE.

- ARE YOU SURE? I MEAN, THIS LOOKS LIKE A PERFECT PLACE

FOR A BUNCH OF ELVES TO HANG.

- THERE'S NO ELVES IN IRELAND.

IF YOU WANT ELVES, YOU GO TO ICELAND OR NORWAY.

- SORRY.

I DIDN'T BRING MY FAIRYTALE HANDBOOK.

- BE VERY CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY

ABOUT THE LITTLE PEOPLE, MR. GARRETT.

IF YOU ANGER THEM, THEY CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.

- WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT FAMOUS IRISH SENSE OF HUMOR?

- OH, THEY HAVE ONE, ALL RIGHT.

IT'S JUST YOU WILL NOT BE LAUGHING AT THE JOKES THEY PULL.

YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF LIFE IN THIS ANCIENT FOREST.

- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

- THEY'RE HERE.

[faint tapping]

- "THEY"?

- THE LEPRECHAUNS.

I CAN HEAR THEM TAPPING AWAY.

[tapping continues]

- NO, I'M SORRY. I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.

- THEY'RE COBBLERS BY TRADE.

- DOES THIS MEAN I'M

NOT GONNA GET THE CERTIFICATE SIGNED, OR...

- WELL, I'M NOT GONNA LIE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.

- YOU'RE GONNA STAND HERE IN THE 21ST CENTURY

AND TELL ME I CAN'T BUILD A COPPER SMELTING PLANT

BECAUSE OF A LEPRECHAUN INFESTATION, IS THAT RIGHT?

- THAT'S EXACTLY

WHAT I'M TELLING YOU, MR. GARRETT.

- OKAY, AND I'M TELLING YOU I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

- WELL, TOO BAD, MR. GARRETT.

TOUGH LUCK.

- WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT ARE YOUR OPTIONS?

- WELL, I'VE GOT TO GET THEM TO MOVE.

- OH, OKAY.

WELL, HOW, EXACTLY, DO YOU PROPOSE YOU DO THAT?

- MAYBE A LITTLE CELTIC HOODOO?

OR HOW ABOUT AN EXORCISM?

OR DO I NEED THE VILLAGE PRIEST FOR THAT?

- YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- I'VE GOT IT.

WE'LL CALL LEPRECHAUN BUSTERS.

GET THEM IN HERE.

- HILARIOUS.

- [clears throat]

[groans softly]

WHERE YOU GOING?

- I'M WALKING BACK TO THE VILLAGE ON MY OWN.

- COME ON, YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME.

WE GOTTA WORK THIS THING OUT.

- WE DON'T HAVE TO WORK ANYTHING OUT.

IT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

YOU WORK IT OUT.

- RIGHT.

[birds chirping]

- COME ON.

[birds chirping]

- HELLO, EVELYN.

- AH, MR. GARRETT. LOVELY DAY, ISN'T IT?

- OH, IT'S BRILLIANT. I'VE LOST MY KEYS.

- NO. WHERE DID YOU LAST SEE THEM?

- THEY WERE IN MY POCKET LAST TIME I...

- DON'T FEEL BAD.

I SOMETIMES FORGET THINGS TOO.

COMES WITH AGE.

- I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY CAR.

I DON'T IMAGINE THERE'S A TAXI SERVICE

IN BALLYGLENN, IS THERE?

- NO, BUT I'M SURE WE CAN FIND SOMEONE

WHO CAN HELP YOU.

[motorcycle buzzing]

- WELL, THERE YOU GO.

- THANKS, TOMMY.

WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT SARAH CAVANAUGH?

- WELL...EVERYBODY KNOWS HER.

I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?

- I NEED AN ANGLE. - A WHAT?

- SHE'S GOT SOMETHING I NEED.

- AH, WELL, I WOULDN'T KNOW NOTHIN' ABOUT THAT.

BUT, UH...

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO MOLLY.

- WHO'S MOLLY?

- A REALLY BEAUTIFUL GIRL THAT WORKS FOR SARAH.

- SHE SINGLE? - MOLLY?

- SARAH.

- YEAH, AS FAR AS I KNOW.

- THANKS.

I TRAVEL THE WORLD 12 MONTHS A YEAR

SOLVING PROBLEMS.

PROBLEMS WITH FORM. PROBLEMS WITH SUBSTANCE.

THIS IS A LEPRECHAUN PROBLEM.

I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO SOLVE IT.

- I APPRECIATE YOUR SITUATION, MR. GARRETT.

- NO, NO, IT'S NOT MY SITUATION.

IT'S OUR SITUATION.

YOU WANT THAT PLANT BUILT, IT'S OUR SITUATION.

- UNFORTUNATELY, IF SARAH SAYS THERE ARE LEPRECHAUNS

ON THAT LAND, EVERYONE WILL BELIEVE IT.

- I KNEW THAT WOMAN WOULD BE A THORN IN OUR BACKSIDE.

- CAN'T YOU TALK TO HER?

- I HAVE NO INFLUENCE WITH SARAH.

- HAVE YOU TRIED OFFERING HER MONEY?

- SHE DOESN'T WANT MONEY.

- EVERYONE HAS THEIR PRICE, MR. GARRETT.

- LET ME ASK YOU. I JUST...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LEPRECHAUNS?

PERSONALLY?

- I'M A POLITICIAN, MR. GARRETT.

I BELIEVE WHAT THE PEOPLE BELIEVE.

- OF COURSE YOU DO.

[engine stalls]

- OH, COME ON.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CAN'T GET A CAR TO ME BEFORE THURSDAY?

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

HELLO?

HELLO?

[hangs up phone]

CAN I MAKE A CALL TO NEW YORK?

[phone ringing]

- HELLO?

- MR. THORPE, IT'S MICHAEL.

- MICHAEL! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU.

- YEAH, I'VE BEEN HAVING PHONE PROBLEMS.

AND CAR PROBLEMS.

AND...LEPRECHAUN PROBLEMS.

- UH, SO-- WHAT WAS THAT?

- OH, THE LOCAL LEPRECHAUN EXPERT

ISN'T MAKING THINGS... ANY EASIER.

IN FACT, SHE'S MAKING THINGS LOOK...

WELL, SHE SAYS WE HAVE A LEPRECHAUN...

INFESTATION.

THEY'RE BUILDING A SHOE FACTORY OR SOMETHING.

- WHAT DOES SHE SUGGEST WE DO?

- WELL, SHE SAYS THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO.

- WELL, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. - I KNOW, SIR.

THE SITUATION IS A LITTLE BIT MORE COMPLEX

THAN WE THOUGHT, SIR.

- WELL, I'M SURE YOU CAN HANDLE IT.

- OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'LL--I'LL HANDLE IT.

- YEAH, TIME IS MONEY, MICHAEL.

- YES, I KNOW.

[sighs]

- YOU ALL RIGHT, MR. GARRETT? - HMM?

- YOU ALL RIGHT? - YEAH.

YEAH.

[bicycle bell rings]

- HELLO AGAIN, MR. GARRETT.

FINDING YOUR WAY AROUND OKAY?

- HOW'D YOU KNOW MY NAME?

- I'M SURE EVERYONE IN TOWN KNOWS WHO YOU ARE NOW.

- WORD TRAVELS FAST, HUH?

- I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE WITH YOUR CAR,

AND YOUR BOSS IS NOT THAT HAPPY WITH YOU.

- NOW HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THAT?

- YOU'RE STAYING WITH EVELYN? - THAT'S RIGHT.

- SHE'S WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL OUR "CNN ROUND-THE-CLOCK NEWS."

- AH.

- I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT OKAY FOR YOU.

- CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE OF THAT MAN?

- HE NEEDS TO LEARN SOME MANNERS.

- UH, YOU'RE BEING A BIT HARD ON THE LAD.

- YOU WEREN'T THERE, SHEAMUS.

YOU DIDN'T HEAR THE THINGS HE WAS SAYING.

- HE'S A TYPICAL AMERICAN.

HE THINKS HE CAN COME OVER HERE,

THROW HIS MONEY AROUND, AND DO WHATEVER HE WANTS.

- AND I'M JUST TRYING TO PROTECT THE LITTLE PEOPLE.

- BUT, SARAH, YOU CAN'T EXPECT HIM

TO UNDERSTAND THAT STRAIGHT AWAY.

IT'S NOT PART OF HIS CULTURE.

- THAT'S NO EXCUSE. HE'S OVER HERE NOW.

- BUT EVEN IN BALLYGLENN,

NOT EVERYBODY BELIEVES IN LEPRECHAUNS.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, MOLLY?

- UH-- - MOLLY.

- IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM.

- LOOK, EVEN IF YOU DON'T SIGN THE CERTIFICATE,

HOW YOU EXPECT TO STOP A BIG COMPANY LIKE THAT

FROM DOING WHAT THEY WANT TO DO? - I DON'T KNOW.

- HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT IT MIGHT BE BETTER

TO HAVE THIS MAN, WHO WORKS FOR THE COMPANY,

AS AN ALLY AND NOT AS AN ADVERSARY?

[computer keys clicking]

- WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA, MR. GARRETT?

- YEAH. THANK YOU.

- SO YOU'LL BE STAYING ANOTHER FEW DAYS?

- IT LOOKS THAT WAY.

- I'LL DO MY BEST TO MAKE IT COMFORTABLE FOR YOU.

- I KNOW BALLYGLENN'S NOT EXACTLY NEW YORK,

BUT YOU CAN'T DENY IT'S A LOVELY PLACE.

- YES, IT IS.

- SO WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST ABOUT NEW YORK?

- PIZZA.

THERE'S A GREAT PLACE, ON FATHER DEMO SQUARE,

CALLED JOE'S PIZZA.

JOE'S PIZZERIA-- I'D KILL FOR A SLICE RIGHT NOW.

- GOWAN'S, ON MAIN STREET, DO LOVELY CHIPS.

- I'LL KEEP IT IN MIND.

- IT'S NOT THE SAME AS HOME.

- I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY HOME IS ANYMORE.

30,000 FEET-- THAT'S WHERE I'M AT.

- HOME IS WHERE YOU HAVE YOUR HEART.

WHERE'S YOUR HEART, MR. GARRETT?

MAYBE, SOMEDAY, I'LL HAVE ONE OF THOSE

FANCY NEW YORK PIZZAS,

TO FIND OUT WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT.

- EVELYN...

WHY DON'T YOU JUST PACK YOUR BAGS AND GO TO NEW YORK?

- SMALL MATTER OF MONEY.

IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,

I'M NOT EXACTLY OVERFLOWING WITH BUSINESS.

- MAYBE THAT'LL CHANGE.

YOU WATCH--WE BUILD THE PLANT AND YOU MIGHT GET BUSIER.

- DO YOU KNOW WHERE I'D LIKE TO GO FIRST?

THE TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING,

WHERE THE BEAUTIFUL MEG RYAN MET THE LOVELY TOM HANKS.

MAYBE I'LL FIND ME A MAN THERE.

[high-pitched giggling, computer trilling]

IS IT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?

- NO, NO, NO.

NO, IT'S...ILL.

- MR. GARRETT.

- SHEAMUS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

- OH, I COULDN'T SLEEP.

INSOMNIA, GUILTY CONSCIENCE-- PICK ONE.

- OH, YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR THAT?

- LET ME GUESS-- A COUPLE OF PINTS.

- DOES THE TRICK EVERY TIME.

- SHEAMUS, LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.

IF YOU WERE ME, AND YOU HAD LEPRECHAUN PROBLEM,

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

- IT SOUNDS TO ME, LAD,

LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE A LEPRECHAUN PROBLEM...

YOU HAVE A LADY PROBLEM.

- MS. CAVANAUGH? - UH-HUH.

- SAY, SHEAMUS, I GOT TO NEGOTIATE

WITH SOME OF THE TOUGHEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

PUT ME IN A ROOM WITH THEM, I'M FINE, I'LL TAKE 'EM DOWN.

SARAH--TWO MINUTES WITH HER,

I LOSE MY COOL.

- SHE GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN.

- HEH.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT.

WHAT'S THE TRICK, SHEAMUS?

HOW DO I WIN HER OVER?

- [chuckles]

I CAN'T HELP YOU WITH THAT, LAD.

BUT JUST SO THAT I UNDERSTAND...

YOU'RE ONLY INTERESTED IN SARAH

IN A PURELY PROFESSIONAL WAY?

- OF COURSE, SHEAMUS, COME ON.

- THAT'S TOO BAD.

I DO WISH SHE WAS WITH SOMEONE.

SHE WORRIES ABOUT ME...

AND I WORRY ABOUT HER.

AND ALL THIS WORRYING

DOESN'T DO EITHER OF US A BIT OF GOOD.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. GARRETT.

- GOOD NIGHT, MR. SHEAMUS.

- YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR BALLYGLENN, SARAH.

- I'M ONLY SPEAKING WHAT I KNOW, MR. DOYLE.

- AYE, AND YOUR CHILDISH SUPERSTITIONS.

- WELL, I KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN--MONEY.

- THAT PLANT IS GOING TO BE BUILT,

IF WE HAVE TO PAVE OVER EVERY LEPRECHAUN IN THE COUNTY.

- OH! [grunts]

- MOLLY?

- DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?

- NO, NEVER MIND. SORRY, SORRY.

[exhales]

- CAVANAUGH! - MR. GARRETT.

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- DELIVERING FOOD TO AN AILING CUSTOMER.

- BEEN MEANING TO SWING BY THE PUB.

- THERE ARE OTHER PUBS IN THE VILLAGE.

- YEAH, I KNOW. [sniffs]

BUT I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

- SEEMS TO ME YOU'VE BEEN SAYING "SORRY" A LOT, LATELY.

- LISTEN, I ASKED YOU FOR YOUR PROFESSIONAL OPINION,

THE OTHER DAY.

YOU GAVE IT TO ME. I SHOULD HAVE RESPECTED IT.

LET ME MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

- AND HOW DO YOU PROPOSE TO DO THAT?

- LUNCH TOMORROW.

CONSIDER IT A PEACE OFFERING.

- YOU ARE A PECULIAR MAN, MR. GARRETT.

- SAYS THE LADY WHO HEARS LEPRECHAUNS.

- OKAY. - YES.

- BUT I EXPECT YOU TO BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I'M FROM NEW YORK.

GOOD BEHAVIOR IS WHAT WE'RE KNOWN FOR.

[birds twittering]

[horn tooting repeatedly]

- AND WHAT MANNER OF CONVEYANCE IS THIS?

- WHAT'S THIS? THIS IS A 1973 X-5000.

- DOESN'T THIS BELONG TO TOMMY RILEY?

- YEAH. I'M LEASING IT.

- WHY DON'T WE JUST WALK?

- OOH, TOO FAR WHERE WE'RE GOING.

- OH, WHERE EXACTLY ARE WE GOING?

- WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE?

COME ON.

[pop-style Irish jig music]

♪

- OKAY. WHAT ARE WE DOING WAY OUT HERE?

- SEEMS, HOW YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR DAY IN THE PUB,

I THOUGHT YOU COULD USE SOME FRESH AIR.

- AND WHAT ABOUT LUNCH?

- AH, RIGHT.

LA PICNIC.

- IF YOU'RE TRYING TO BUTTER ME UP, IT WON'T WORK.

IT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE THE FACTS OF THE SITUATION.

- WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THAT.

DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT BUSINESS AT ALL.

- WE DON'T? - NOPE.

WHATEVER'S GONNA HAPPEN'S GONNA HAPPEN, RIGHT?

- OKAY. SO WHAT WILL WE TALK ABOUT THEN?

- AH.

WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO BALLYGLENN?

- I WAS BORN HERE.

- I'M FROM A SMALL TOWN. - MM-HMM.

- DO YOU EVER GET TIRED OF IT? SMALL-TOWN LIFE?

- NO.

JUST TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES, REALLY.

- DO YOU EVER GET THE SENSE YOU WERE MEANT FOR SOMETHING...

BIGGER?

- HOW DO YOU MEAN? - I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU.

YOU COULD DO ANYTHING YOU WANT-- ANYTHING.

YOU'RE BRIGHT, STRONG-WILLED,

BEAUTIFUL--ANYTHING.

- YOU KNOW, FOR SOMEONE WHO'S NOT FROM IRELAND,

YOU KNOW HOW TO TALK A LOT OF BLARNEY.

- IS THAT GOOD?

- NOT REALLY. - OH.

IT'S JUST AMAZING TO ME THAT THE MEN IN THIS TOWN

AREN'T BEATING A PATH TO YOUR DOOR.

WHY IS THAT? - WELL, I HAVE TO ADMIT,

ONE OF THE DISADVANTAGES OF COMING FROM A SMALL TOWN

IS THAT THE STOCK OF ELIGIBLE MEN

IS ALSO QUITE SMALL.

- STOCK? - STOCK.

- THAT'S THE WORD YOU'D USE? STOCK?

- I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M TELLING YOU THIS.

- SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

RUN THE PUB? PUB LIFE?

BE A...PUB-BER?

- IT WAS MY FATHER'S PUB.

- OH, SO YOU'RE CARRYING ON THE FAMILY BUSINESS--

THE TRADITION-- IS THAT IT?

- HMM, WELL...

I REALLY LOVE WHAT I DO.

- YOU'RE HAPPY?

- YEAH. I AM.

LIFE COULDN'T BE BETTER.

YOU MUST BE EAGER TO GET BACK HOME.

- I...DON'T REALLY HAVE A HOME.

GOT A LAYOVER.

- WHAT ABOUT FRIENDS AND FAMILY?

- FAMILY'S SCATTERED ALL OVER THE PLACE.

FRIENDS KIND OF--

I GUESS THEY STOP CALLING WHEN YOU'RE NOT AROUND.

- AH, I COULDN'T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

- HEH.

- ARE YOU TELLING ME THERE'S NO ONE TO MISS YOU?

- I GUESS NOT.

- OH. THAT'S SAD.

- COME ON.

- [laughs]

- YOU DIDN'T JUST DO THAT, DID YOU?

- WHAT HAPPENED? WH--WHAT?

- MUST HAVE BEEN A LEPRECHAUN. - IT MUST HAVE BEEN.

- YEAH. OH, NO.

- THAT'S WHY I SAID, YOU-- YOU CAN ANNOY THEM.

- OH, NO. HERE COMES ANOTHER.

OH, LOOK OUT. - OH, TOO BAD.

OKAY.

- TRUCE? - A TRUCE.

- ALL RIGHT. - [laughs]

[laughs loudly]

[screams]

OKAY. NO. ENOUGH!

- ALL RIGHT. AND WE'RE OFF. - OKAY.

[birds twittering]

- WHO'S YOUR HERO?

- THIS GUY.

- "WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND GRAY AND FULL OF SLEEP

"AND NODDING BY THE FIRE,

both: "TAKE DOWN THIS BOOK,

"AND SLOWLY READ,

- "AND DREAM OF THE SOFT LOOK

YOUR EYES HAD ONCE, AND OF THEIR SHADOWS DEEP."

YEATS. - I THINK SO.

- WOW. I'M SURPRISED.

- WHY?

- WELL, I HAD YOU PEGGED FOR A COMPLETE PHILISTINE.

- OH, I'M ONLY MOSTLY A PHILISTINE.

- UH-HUH.

- AND, PARTIALLY, A LITTLE BIT POET.

HOW LONG DOES THE SNOW LAST AROUND HERE, USUALLY?

- WELL, I MEAN, USUALLY, UNTIL IT MELTS.

- OH.

[paper rustles] HMM.

- WHAT'S THIS?

- OH, NOTHING.

- IT'S THE CERTIFICATE. - YEAH. I FORGET I HAD IT.

I MEAN, I ALWAYS HAVE IT IN MY POCKET.

BUT I-- I WASN'T--

- WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO SPRING THIS ON ME?

- I WASN'T GOING TO SPRING IT ON YOU.

- YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME AT ALL, MICHAEL, DO YOU?

- SARAH.

- I'M JUST ANOTHER BUSINESS DEAL TO YOU.

- YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- BUT DID YOU HONESTLY THINK

THAT I WOULD JUST BE BLINDED BY YOUR CHARMS

AND FALL INTO YOUR ARMS? IS THAT IT?

- NO.

NO, I FORGOT IT WAS THERE.

- WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU?

- YOU LET HIM HAVE IT? GOOD FOR YOU.

WHY ARE YOU LETTING IT BOTHER YOU SO MUCH?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- MEN ARE ALL ALIKE--

DOESN'T MATTER WHAT COUNTRY THEY COME FROM.

JUST FORGET ABOUT HIM.

- IT'S HARD TO DO WHILE HE'S STILL IN TOWN.

OH.

[wind gusting]

- [sighs]

[bed squeaks]

OW!

- [high-pitched giggling]

- GOOD MORNING, MR. GARRETT.

- GOOD MORNING EVELYN.

- HERE.

- HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS PINE CONE BEFORE?

- HMM. IT'S HARD TO SAY.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "IT'S HARD TO SAY"?

- WELL, ONE PINE CONE LOOKS

PRETTY MUCH LIKE ANOTHER PINE CONE.

I MIGHT HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE.

- HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW IT WOUND UP IN MY BED?

- I HAVE NO IDEA.

- OH, MR. GARRETT.

- I SAW SOME BOOKS ON DISPLAY. ARE THEY FOR SALE?

- YES.

- DO YOU HAVE ANY ON LEPRECHAUNS?

- YES.

- I'D LIKE TO BUY ALL OF THEM.

- ALL OF THEM?

[rolling clarinet music]

♪

- HAVE SOME.

[music continues]

♪

[siren wails]

- HELLO.

- MR. THORPE, IT'S MICHAEL.

- MICHAEL, IS THAT YOU? I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU.

- I'M CALLING YOU FROM A PHONE BOOTH.

- A WHAT?

- I CAN'T CALL FROM THE B&B ANYMORE.

IT SEEMS THAT GOSSIP HAS BEEN ELEVATED

TO AN OLYMPIC SPORT AROUND HERE.

- WHAT'S GOING ON?

ARE YOU STILL IN IRELAND?

I THOUGHT YOU'D HAVE THIS WRAPPED UP BY NOW.

- NO, I'M STILL HERE.

THE, UH, LOCAL LEPRECHAUN INSPECTOR ISN'T GONNA BUDGE.

I'VE BEEN STUDYING THE FOLKLORE,

BUT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY LOOPHOLES.

- WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

- I'M GOING TO TRY A DIFFERENT APPROACH.

EVERYBODY HERE LOOKS AT ME LIKE I'M AN OUTSIDER.

[children laughing]

- YOU ARE AN OUTSIDER.

- WHAT IF I COULD BECOME MORE LIKE THEM, YOU KNOW?

BLEND IN. IF I CAN GET THEM TO STOP

LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M A FOREIGNER,

MAYBE THEY'D WARM UP TO THE COMPANY,

AND WE CAN FORGET THIS WHOLE CRAZY LEPRECHAUN BUSINESS.

- YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT?

- I SAID IT'S GOING TO TAKE A FEW MORE DAYS.

YOU SAID YOURSELF WE NEED TO DO ALL WE CAN

TO KEEP THE GOODWILL OF THE LOCALS.

- ALL RIGHT, MICHAEL. A FEW MORE DAYS.

- ALL RIGHT.

HEY! [knocks]

HEY, COME ON! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!

[playful music]

♪

- THANKS, MOLLY.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- IT'S A PUBLIC HOUSE.

[mock seriously] AM I NOT A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC?

- YOU'VE GOT BRASS, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.

- LET ME GET A PINT WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE.

THANKS, MOLLY.

HELLO, MR. SHEAMUS.

- AH. HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

- I'VE GOT A PINT IN MY HAND,

I'VE GOT CHANGE IN MY POCKETS,

I'M AMONG FRIENDS-- SURE COULDN'T BE BETTER.

- [clears throat]

I'D LIKE TO BE IRISH.

- YOU WHAT?

- I SAID, "I'D LIKE TO BE IRISH."

- YOU'D LIKE TO BE IRISH?

[laughter]

WELL, I COULD WELL UNDERSTAND WHY.

THERE'S PEOPLE THE WHOLE WORLD OVER

WHO WOULD LIKE TO BE IRISH,

BUT UNLESS YOU OR YOUR ANCESTORS

WERE BORN ON THIS OLD SOD,

I'M AFRAID YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK.

- [sighs]

CAN YOU AT LEAST HELP ME OUT

GETTING ALONG BETTER WITH...

THE VILLAGERS?

- YOU'RE SERIOUS? - AS A HEART ATTACK.

- YOU'VE GOT ONE THING GOING FOR YOU, ANYWAY.

- WHAT'S THAT?

- YOU'RE NOT ENGLISH.

- THANKS FOR YOUR HELP, SHEAMUS.

IT SEEMS LIKE I'M NOT THAT POPULAR AROUND HERE THESE DAYS.

- DON'T WORRY, LAD.

THERE'S NO ONE TRYING TO CHASE YOU OUT OF TOWN.

- I CAN THINK OF ONE PERSON.

- OH, WELL NOW, THAT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT MATTER, RIGHT?

BUT, UH, THE REST OF THE COMMUNITY,

THEY'D WANT THINGS TO WORK OUT.

BUT IT'S GOING TO TAKE THE JUDGMENT OF SOLOMON

TO FIND A SOLUTION.

- THAT'S IT.

- DID YOU EVER HEAR THE STORY OF KING SOLOMON AND THE BABY?

- SOUNDS VAGUELY FAMILIAR.

- WELL, TWO MOTHERS CAME BEFORE SOLOMON--

EACH CLAIMING THE SAME BABY.

SOLOMON DECIDED TO CUT THE CHILD IN TWO

AND GIVE THEM HALF EACH.

BUT ONE OF THE WOMEN SAID,

"NO, GIVE IT TO THE OTHER WOMAN.

DON'T HURT IT."

THAT'S HOW SOLOMON KNEW WHICH WAS THE REAL MOTHER.

- HOW DOES THAT APPLY TO ME, EXACTLY?

- I DON'T KNOW.

BUT I LIKE THE STORY. [laughs]

- WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- [growls] AH, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

- IT'S NOT TOO MUCH?

MAYBE I'LL GET ONE OF THOSE. WHAT, A SHILLELAGH?

- ONLY IF YOU WANT TO GET SMACKED OVER THE HEAD WITH IT.

- OR NOT.

ALL RIGHT, WHERE DO WE START?

[water rushes]

HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO KNOWN EACH OTHER?

- UH, WE GREW UP TOGETHER,

WAS IN THE FISHING BUSINESS TOGETHER,

AND WE RETIRED TOGETHER.

- WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE DOING HERE?

- YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT FISHING, DO YOU?

TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT SOMEPLACE,

FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS...

JUST TO BE THERE?

- [sighs]

NOTHING TO IT.

SARAH.

- MR. GARRETT.

ADD SALT TODAY, THEN?

- PLEASE.

JUST GETTING SOME CHIPS.

- FISH AND CHIPS ARE GOOD HERE.

- BEST IN TOWN.

- OH, THE ONLY PLACE IN TOWN.

- YEAH.

- SO WHAT'S ALL THIS?

TRYING TO PULL THE WOOL OVER PEOPLE'S EYES?

- THE SUIT WAS GETTING A LITTLE TIGHT.

- HMM. WELL, DON'T LOOSEN UP TOO MUCH, MR. GARRETT.

YOU MIGHT FORGET WHY YOU'RE HERE.

- WELL, IF I DO, I'M SURE YOU'LL REMIND ME.

PULL.

- THIS IS WHAT WE CALL GAELIC FOOTBALL.

TOMMY! COME HERE!

- CAN'T WE JUST GO FISHING?

- HO, HO.

NOW, MR. GARRETT WOULD LIKE TO GIVE IT A TRY.

- OKAY. - HEY, TOMMY.

- HOW'S IT GOING? - GOOD.

- DID YOU EVER PLAY SOCCER? - EVERY DAY.

- A BIT OF RUGBY? - IT'S ALL I DO.

- WELL, YOU'RE HALFWAY THERE.

TAKE OFF YOUR COAT. COME ON.

- OFF YOU GO. [chuckles]

- LADS, NEW PASSER.

- RIGHT, SO YOU GOTTA KICK, BOUNCE, OR PASS THE BALL

WITHIN FOUR STEPS. YOU GOT IT?

- SHEAMUS. - SARAH.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? - I'M WATCHING A GOOD GAME.

- HANG ON. IS THAT...

- THE YANK. - WHAT'S HE DOING OUT HERE?

[cheers]

- HE'S MOSTLY BEING KNOCKED DOWN ONTO HIS BUM.

- IS HE GONE IN THE HEAD?

- I THINK HE'S HAVING A GREAT TIME.

HA!

GOOD MAN, YOURSELF.

- OOH, THOSE LADS DID A REAL NUMBER ON MY BACK.

- LISTEN, LAD,

IT'S NOT HOW MANY TIMES YOU GET KNOCKED DOWN

THAT COUNTS.

IT'S HOW MANY TIMES YOU GET UP AGAIN.

- CHEERS.

- LOOK AT YOU TWO DRAGGING ALL THAT MUD IN HERE.

- ALL IN THE GOOD CAUSE, MOLLY. ALL IN THE GOOD CAUSE.

- UH, MOLLY. - WHAT?

- ARE YOU GOING TO THE CEILIDH TONIGHT?

-YEAH, I'M GOING. WHY?

- I WAS JUST WONDERING.

- OH.

WHAT'S A CEILIDH?

[upbeat music playing]

♪

- CAN I GET YOU A DRINK, MR. GARRETT?

- NO, I'M FINE. THANKS.

- HAVE YOU FOUND A WAY WE CAN ALL GET WHAT WE WANT?

- NOT YET.

- NOW IF I WERE YOU, I'D FORGET ABOUT SEEKING

THE APPROVAL OF THE COMMUNITY.

JUST BRING IN OUTSIDE WORKERS.

- YOU WOULD? - OH, THE LOCALS WILL COMPLAIN

AND GRUMBLE ABOUT IT, BUT THEY'LL COME AROUND

WHEN THEY SEE THE JOBS THEY'RE MISSING.

- UH-HUH. THEN YOU CAN IN TURN RENT THEM

ALL YOUR APARTMENTS TO ALL THE OUTSIDERS.

- BE HAPPY TO PLAY MY PART, MR. GARRETT.

- OF COURSE. I'LL TAKE IT UNDER CONSIDERATION.

- AND DON'T LET THIS LEPRECHAUN SILLINESS

STOP THE FLOW OF PROGRESS.

- NO.

EXCUSE ME.

- OH! OH.

- I'M SORRY. - [sighs]

- LOOK, I'M... GO AHEAD, YOU GO.

- SORRY. - NO, YOU GO.

- OKAY. I WAS GOING TO SAY,

YOU KNOW, I POSSIBLY SHOULDN'T HAVE RUN OFF SO QUICKLY.

- I'M SORRY. I--MAYBE I WAS LOOKING

FOR AN ANGLE WITH YOU... [clears throat]

AT FIRST.

SARAH, BY THE TIME WE GOT TO THE FIRE,

BUSINESS WAS THE LAST THING ON MY MIND.

- OKAY.

BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS ON YOUR MIND NOW?

[jovial music plays]

♪

- [whistles]

- MOLLY.

- WOULD YOU CARE TO DANCE?

- WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. - CERTAINLY.

- I COULD DANCE BETTER THAN THAT.

- THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK HER UP SO?

- DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN?

YOU HAVE TO PLAY HARD TO GET.

- SARAH. - HEY, SHEAMUS.

- SARAH, DON'T GET ME WRONG.

BUT I'D SAY YOU WERE A VIRTUOUS WOMAN.

WOULDN'T YOU? - WELL, I HOPE SO.

- OF COURSE YOU ARE.

SO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THE GREATEST

OF ALL THE VIRTUES IS FORGIVENESS.

- THERE SHE IS. - SHE LOOKS TO ME

LIKE A YOUNG LADY IN NEED OF AN ESCORT.

- [sighs]

ALL RIGHT, COACH.

MS. CAVANAUGH.

GOING MY WAY?

- WELL, DEPENDS WHICH WAY YOU'RE GOING.

YOU KEEP POPPING UP EVERYWHERE LATELY.

A BIT LIKE IRISH MOSS.

- WELL, SEEING AS HOW I'M NOT GOING

TO GET MY MIDNIGHT RUN IN,

I THOUGHT MAYBE A MIDNIGHT WALK WOULD DO.

I'M NOT GOING TO GET TO SLEEP ANYWAY.

- MM. STILL SUFFERING FROM THAT GUILTY CONSCIENCE.

- NO.

HOW DID YOU ENJOY THE CEILIDH?

- I ALWAYS LIKE THE CEILIDH.

- HMM. YOU KNOW, I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU TO DANCE.

- AND WHY DIDN'T YOU?

- I WAS AFRAID YOU WERE GOING TO SLUG ME.

- WELL, THEN YOU DON'T KNOW ME VERY WELL.

- WELL, THAT'S JUST IT, MS. CAVANAUGH...

I WOULD LIKE THE CHANCE TO GET TO KNOW YOU.

- I'D BE AFRAID YOUR WORK WOULD ALWAYS GET IN THE WAY.

- WELL, I MEAN, IT WOULD...

IF I LET IT.

I WON'T LET IT.

I PROMISE.

- WHOO.

NOT BAD FOR A CITY BOY.

- YOU'RE NOT BAD YOURSELF.

- [laughs]

MAYBE YOU'RE NOT SO OUT OF TOUCH

WITH THE NATURAL WORLD AS YOU THINK, EH?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- SEEN ANY LEPRECHAUNS LATELY?

- [laughs] NO.

SOME WEIRD THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING.

- OH, YEAH? - YEAH.

- WELL, I DID WARN YOU.

- LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING I BELIEVE

IN LEPRECHAUNS AT ALL.

BUT IF I DID, AND I WANTED THEM--

TO GET THEM TO BACK OFF, HOW WOULD I GO ABOUT THAT?

- WELL, YOU MIGHT WANT TO START BY NOT THREATENING THEIR HOMES.

- THEY OUGHT TO TALK TO MY BOSS, NOT ME.

- HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO HIM LATELY?

- I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT BUSINESS.

- MICHAEL, IS THERE NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN DO?

- IT'S NOT IN MY CONTROL, SARAH. IF I COULD, I WOULD.

I'D MOVE THE PLANT SOME PLACE ELSE.

- REALLY? - YEAH.

I LOVE IT HERE.

I LOVE THE PEOPLE. I LOVE THE TOWN.

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT BALLYGLENN.

THE FACT REMAINS THE COMPANY OWNS THIS LAND,

AND THEY'VE DRAWN UP PLANS, AND THEY INTEND TO BUILD.

- AND HOW LONG HAVE WE GOT BEFORE THEY START?

- NOT MUCH.

RIGHT-O.

- THANK YOU. - FOR WHAT?

- FOR CARING ABOUT BALLYGLENN.

- OH. I HAD FUN.

- OOH.

[laughs] - HEY.

- OH. [laughs] YEAH.

BYE. - BYE.

- YOU KNOW, TO BE TRULY IRISH, YOU HAVE TO BLAME

ALL YOUR MISFORTUNE ON THE GOVERNMENT.

- UH, SHEAMUS, THAT SOUNDS VERY AMERICAN.

- WELL, YOU LEARNED IT FROM US.

- ALL RIGHT. WHAT ELSE CAN YOU TELL ME?

- THE IRISH ARE A COMPASSIONATE PEOPLE

WEEPING DOWN OURSELVES.

AND IF SOMEONE IS IN TROUBLE,

WELL, WE'LL HELP THEM IF WE CAN.

AND IF WE CAN'T, WELL,

WE'LL SHARE A GOOD CRY AND A PRAYER WITH THEM.

- I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. - YEAH.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING THESE TIMES?

- GRAND.

LIKE I'M PLAYING HOOKY FROM MY JOB.

AND I LOVE IT.

- HOW ARE YOU GETTING ON WITH THE VILLAGERS?

- GOOD, I THINK.

- THAT WAS PART OF THE PLAN, WASN'T IT?

- TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THE PLAN WAS.

- THEN MY WORK IS DONE.

- WHAT DID YOU USE TO DO, SHEAMUS, BEFORE YOU...

- BEFORE I WAS A SEAT WARMER IN THE PUB?

A TEACHER.

- I KNEW IT.

- LITERATURE AND HISTORY.

SOMETHING WE HAVE PLENTY OF OVER HERE.

WHAT ABOUT YOU AND SARAH?

- WE'RE GOOD.

- I LOVE HER LIKE SHE WAS ME OWN DAUGHTER.

GOD KNOWS I KNOW THAT SHE'S STRONG AND INDEPENDENT.

BUT THE BURDENS OF LIFE ARE EASIER TO CARRY

WHEN YOU HAVE SOMEBODY WALKING BESIDE YOU.

WOULDN'T YOU SAY SO, MR. GARRETT?

- I THINK IT'S TIME MAYBE YOU STARTED CALLING ME MICHAEL, HUH?

- INDEED IT IS.

MICHAEL.

- GOOD NIGHT.

[creatures squawking, rustling]

MR. MAYOR?

- MR. GARRETT?

- MR. DOYLE.

I GOT A MESSAGE THE MAYOR WANTED TO SEE ME?

- THE MAYOR HAS STEPPED OUT FOR A MOMENT.

ACTUALLY, IT WAS ME THAT WANTED TO SEE YOU.

- OKAY.

- I'M VERY HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE FOUND

A SOLUTION TO YOUR-- YOUR LEPRECHAUN PROBLEM.

- HUH. WHAT'S THAT?

- BY FINDING AN EXPERT WITNESS WHO IS WILLING TO TRAVEL

ACROSS FROM GALWAY AND CERTIFY YOUR WORK SITE

FREE AND CLEAR OF ANY AND ALL SUPERNATURAL CREATURES.

- ALL THE WAY FROM GALWAY?

WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT THE LAND, JUST SIGN OFF?

- IS THERE ANY NEED? THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS.

THEY ARE THE PRODUCT OF THE OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION

OF CHILDREN AND DRUNKS.

- YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN LEPRECHAUNS.

- PUT IT THIS WAY, ANY LEPRECHAUN

THAT LOSES HIS HOME, HE CAN COME TO ME

AND I'LL GIVE HIM A GREAT DEAL ON, UH,

HOW DO YOU AMERICANS CALL IT?

ON A--ON A CONDO.

- SEE, I JUST CAN'T SEE HOW THE LOCALS WOULD ACCEPT

YOUR EXPERT'S WORD OVER SARAH'S.

- BECAUSE ALL THEY WANT IS A PIECE OF PAPER

TO ALLAY THEIR FOOLISH SUPERSTITIONS.

- WHAT DOES THE MAYOR THINK?

- HE'LL GO WHICHEVER WAY THE WIND BLOWS.

- MR. DOYLE, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT NOBODY GET HURT HERE.

- WHO'S GOING TO GET HURT?

AH, YOU'RE REFERRING TO THAT SARAH CAVANAUGH WOMAN.

SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE SUCH AN OUTRAGEOUS CLAIM

TO BEGIN WITH.

IT'S HER OWN FAULT

THAT SHE STIRRED THE LOCALS UP OVER NOTHING.

- MISS CAVANAUGH BELIEVES WHAT MISS CAVANAUGH BELIEVES.

- WELL THAT'S TOUGH ON MISS CAVANAUGH,

BUT WE ARE MEN OF BUSINESS, MR. GARRETT,

AND IT IS TIME TO GET DOWN TO IT.

NOW, WHAT I'M OFFERING YOU IS A WAY

TO GET OUT OF THIS AND GET OUT OF HERE.

- I'LL TAKE IT INTO CONSIDERATION.

- BE SURE TO MENTION TO YOUR BOSS

HOW I WAS OF ASSISTANCE IN THIS MATTER.

HE'S GOT A MAN HE CAN COUNT ON HERE IN BALLYGLENN.

- I'LL PASS IT ON.

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

- [imitates shooting gun] - HOW ARE YOU DOING?

- GOT YOU.

GOOD. HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS?

WHERE'S SHEAMUS?

- HAVEN'T SEEN HIM ALL DAY.

YOU WANT SARAH? SHE'S JUST OUT THE BACK.

- NO, I'M LOOKING FOR SHEAMUS.

I WANT TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT SOMETHING.

DO ME A FAVOR, IF YOU SEE HIM, HAVE HIM FIND ME, WILL YOU?

- YEAH. - THANK YOU, MISS MOLLY.

- DO YOU WANT TO JOIN US?

- OH, NO.

I GOT TOO MUCH ON MY MIND TODAY, GUYS.

AS YOU WERE, LADS.

[high-pitched laughter] - WHO DID THAT?

[running] I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED.

[squealing]

[yells]

[dog barks]

[fabric tearing]

GOLD, GOLD.

[creatures giggling]

- MR. GARRETT?

- MAYOR.

- BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

YOU'VE GOT A VERY IMPORTANT CALL HERE.

- FROM NEW YORK? I'M NOT HERE.

- OH, NO, NO, NO. IT'S MR. DOYLE.

- DOYLE? - YES, HE'S IN HOSPITAL.

- MR. DOYLE?

HELLO?

- MR. GARRETT, IS THAT YOU?

- YES, IT IS.

- I TAKE BACK MY OFFER.

I TAKE IT BACK. DO YOU HEAR ME?

- YEAH, I HEAR YOU.

- I AM NOT BRINGING IN MY EXPERT.

FORGET WHAT I SAID. - WELL, YOU SAID THAT...

- NO, NO BUTS. I WANT NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH ANY OF IT.

I AM NOT INVOLVED. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

- I DO. I DO. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

WHAT HAPPENED? - [grunts]

- THAT WAS STRANGE. YES.

I THINK SOMETHING PUT THE FEAR OF LEPRECHAUNS INTO HIM.

- [whistling]

HELLO? SARAH?

- SORRY, WE'RE CLOSED.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE CLOSED?

- ON ACCOUNT.

- ON ACCOUNT OF WHAT?

- DID YOU NOT HEAR?

- NO. HEAR WHAT?

- IT'S SHEAMUS.

HE PASSED AWAY LAST NIGHT.

I THINK IT WAS HIS HEART.

SARAH TOOK IT REALLY BAD.

- UM...

[bagpipes playing Amazing Grace]

♪

- WE'RE HERE TODAY TO REMEMBER

A GOOD MAN AND A GOOD FRIEND,

SHEAMUS O'CONNELL.

AND IF ANYONE HERE FEEL LIKE SAYING A FEW WORDS

IN CELEBRATION OF HIS LIFE,

NOW IS THE TIME TO DO IT.

- YOU'RE RIGHT.

HE WAS A GOOD MAN.

AND A GOOD FRIEND TO EVERYBODY HE MET.

- HE WAS A DECENT SKID.

HE WAS A DINGER AT DOMINOES.

AND IF YOU MET HIM IN A PUBLIC HOUSE,

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT YOUR HAND IN YOUR POCKET.

- THAT'S TRUE. - WE'LL MISS HIM.

- HE WAS A LOVELY MAN, AND HE BRIGHTENED UP MY DAY.

AND I'M GOING TO MISS HIM.

- SARAH?

- SHEAMUS WAS MY FATHER'S BEST FRIEND,

AND WHEN MY DAD PASSED AWAY, I DIDN'T THINK

I WAS GOING TO BE ABLE TO RUN THE PUB ON MY OWN.

BUT SHEAMUS CONVINCED ME THAT I COULD DO IT.

AND HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO BE THERE FOR ME EVERY DAY.

AND HE WAS.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITHOUT HIM.

- HE EXTENDED A HELPING HAND TO ME,

AND HE DIDN'T JUDGE.

SHEAMUS, YOU WERE A KIND

AND WONDERFUL GENTLEMAN.

WE'VE LOST SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL TODAY.

BECAUSE THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH MEN

IN THE WORLD LIKE SHEAMUS O'CONNELL.

- HEAR, HEAR.

[bagpipes playing]

♪

- SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND THIS MORNING?

- HMM? NO, NO.

- SOMETHING LIKE SARAH?

- ARE THERE NO SECRETS IN THIS TOWN?

- IT'S HARDLY A SECRET, MR. GARRETT.

SO...

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

- THE PROBLEM IS ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH SARAH

IS GOING TO HAVE A...AHEM...

"A BUILT-IN EXPIRATION DATE," ISN'T IT?

- NOTHING'S IMPOSSIBLE, MR. GARRETT.

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE SAID BEFORE THIS TRIP

IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU THAT YOU'D END UP

BELIEVING IN LEPRECHAUNS?

- I'M STILL WAVERING ON THAT ONE.

- LET THE FUTURE TAKE CARE OF ITSELF.

AND WHETHER IT'S WITH SARAH OR WITH SOMEONE ELSE,

TAKE MY ADVICE AND FALL IN LOVE WHILE YOU'RE YOUNG.

DON'T PUT OFF THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

YOU'LL EVER DO IN YOUR LIFE.

NOW EAT YOUR PUDDING.

- YES, MA'AM.

SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR EXCITEMENT?

- WELL, I MEAN, THERE'S NOT A LOT.

I WISH THERE WAS MORE FOR THE FAMILIES.

BUT THAT'S JUST ONCE A MONTH.

- WHAT ABOUT, UH, GOLF?

DOESN'T EVERYBODY IN IRELAND...

[clicks tongue] SWING THE PUTTING NIBLICK?

- YEAH, THERE'S A COURSE NEARBY.

YOU MIGHT NEED TO CHASE THE SHEEP

OFF THE GREENS, THOUGH.

- EVER BEEN TO NEW YORK? - NO.

- YOU SHOULD COME.

WE HAVE A PRETTY GOOD ST. PATRICK'S DAY PARADE.

LOADS OF PUBS.

COULD ALWAYS USE ANOTHER ONE.

- WELL, NOW, I DON'T KNOW ANYONE IN NEW YORK.

- AH, BUT YOU'D KNOW ME.

- YES, BUT YOU ARE NEVER THERE.

- YUP.

I'LL BE HEADING BACK SOON. THAT'S FOR SURE.

YOU KNOW, SARAH, I WISH, UH...

- WHAT?

- I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO BACK.

- WELL, THEN WE SHOULD MAKE THE MOST

OF THE TIME THAT WE HAVE.

- YOU WANT TO GO GET FISH AND CHIPS?

- YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK.

- [laughs]

- [laughs] OH.

- WE GOT TO GET THE BIKE BACK TO TOMMY.

HE'S GOT A DATE WITH MOLLY.

- REALLY? - REALLY.

- I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. - NO?

- NO. - SARAH, TOMMY OWNS AN X-5000.

WHAT MORE COULD A WOMAN WANT?

- [laughs]

- AH, HERE THEY ARE NOW.

[horn honking]

- YOU TOOK YOUR SWEET TIME.

- SORRY, WE STOPPED FOR CHIPS.

- OH, YEAH? LEAVING US OUT IN THE COLD LIKE THAT?

- YEAH. - THANKS AGAIN.

- BEHAVE YOURSELVES.

- I WON'T DO ANYTHING YOU WOULDN'T DO.

- [chuckles]

- SEE YOU LATER, SOD. - ALL RIGHT.

- TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES, ALL RIGHT?

- OH, WE'LL BE FINE.

- WELL, THANKS TO THE TOMMY SITUATION,

IT LOOKS LIKE I MIGHT HAVE TO HIRE SOME MORE HELP.

- WELL, THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH ROMANCE, ISN'T IT?

IT COMPLICATES EVERYTHING.

TURN THE RADIO ON, WILL YOU?

[Irish folk music]

COME HERE. COME HERE.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE DONE

A LONG TIME AGO.

♪

- SO...HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM?

- HOW DO YOU THINK?

- I THINK HE LOVES YOU, TOO.

- UGH. EVEN IF THAT WERE TRUE,

I MEAN, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

HE'S LEAVING SOON. - CONVINCE HIM TO STAY.

- I CAN'T ASK HIM TO THROW AWAY HIS CAREER, MOVE TO IRELAND,

AND HELP ME RUN A LITTLE PUB.

- WHY NOT?

- THAT'S NOT ENOUGH OF A CHALLENGE FOR A MAN LIKE HIM.

- [sighs] MAYBE IT'LL WORK OUT.

WHAT DOES YOUR SECOND SIGHT TELL YOU?

- WELL, WHEN IT COMES TO MATTERS OF THE HEART,

I'M AS CLUELESS AS ANYBODY ELSE.

- MOLLY? WILL YOU TELL SARAH,

IF SHE NEEDS SOME TIME OFF WITH THE YANK,

I'D BE HAPPY TO LEND A HAND AROUND THE PUB.

I PRACTICALLY RAN ONE A FEW YEARS BACK.

- I COULD HELP OUT, TOO. I--I'VE DRUNK IN ENOUGH PUBS

TO KNOW MY WAY AROUND A TAP.

- FOR ONCE, HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH.

- [laughing] THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU.

I'LL LET HER KNOW.

[pub chatter]

- I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE A ROMANTIC, ANGUS.

- AH, SOMETIMES YOUNG PEOPLE NEED A LITTLE HELP.

- A GOOD SHOVE WOULD BE MORE LIKE IT.

- [laughs]

[knocking at the door]

- COME IN.

- EXCUSE ME, MR. GARRETT.

YOU HAVE A VISITOR.

- MR. GARRETT, I'M EMILY. I'VE COME HERE FROM DUBLIN.

- YOU'RE HERE ABOUT THE CAR.

- NO, I'M HERE ABOUT THE LITTLE PEOPLE

ON YOUR PROPERTY.

- WOULD YOU GIVE US A SECOND, EVELYN?

- OH. - THANK YOU.

I'M SORRY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- I'M SOMETHING OF AN INVESTIGATOR.

- LIKE A PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR?

- I INVESTIGATE A LOT OF THINGS.

- WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS GO SEE THE LEPRECHAUN MUSEUM

IN BALLYGLENN. ASK FOR MS. NOLAN.

TAKE THE TOUR.

- BUT IS IT TRUE? - IS WHAT TRUE?

- THAT THERE ARE LEPRECHAUNS ON YOUR PROPERTY?

- THAT'S REALLY A MATTER OF OPINION.

- BUT IT'S CREATING PROBLEMS... FOR YOUR COMPANY.

- NO.

WELL, YES, BUT-- BUT NO.

I MEAN, WE'RE HANDLING IT. YEAH.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

- THANK YOU, MR. GARRETT.

- I'M SORRY.

WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR LAST NAME WAS?

- HAVE A NICE NIGHT, MR. GARRETT.

[knocking at the door]

[door opening]

- MR. GARRETT?

MR. GARRETT, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

- YEAH.

- IT'S 9:00.

- I SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT?

[groans]

I SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT.

- GUESS WHO SLEPT IN HIS OWN BED ALL NIGHT LONG?

I SLEPT IN MY BED. ALL NIGHT.

- OKAY, WELL BEFORE ALL THE SLEEPING,

YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO SPEAK TO A REPORTER, DID YOU?

- NO. WHY?

- HEY.

UM, YOU SHOULD SEE THIS.

- NO.

NO, NO, NO.

OH, NO. IF THORPE SEES THIS, WE'RE--

- LOOK, IT'S ALREADY BEEN PICKED UP

BY THE INTERNATIONAL NEWS SERVICES.

- AND IT'S ALL OVER THE INTERNET.

- CAN I USE YOUR PHONE? - YEAH, GO AHEAD.

- YEAH, IS MR. THORPE THERE, PLEASE?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE'S OUT OF THE COUNTRY?

[door opening]

MR. MAYOR, WE HAVE A BIT OF A SITUATION.

- INDEED, WE DO.

- MR. THORPE.

- READ ANY GOOD NEWSPAPER HEADLINES LATELY?

- HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST?

- I WAS ALREADY ON MY WAY. - I CAN--I CAN EXPLAIN THAT.

- YOU GOT A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO, LIKE, UH,

HOW A FEW DAYS TURNED INTO TWO WEEKS.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP ME POSTED.

- I'VE HAD SOME COMMUNICATION... GLITCHES.

- I DON'T WANT ANY MORE EXCUSES.

I SENT YOU HERE TO FIX A PROBLEM.

HAVE YOU FIXED IT?

- UH, WELL--UH...

UH, NOT EXACTLY.

- ARE YOU CLOSE TO FIXING IT?

- NO.

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND, MICHAEL, THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU.

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FIXER?

- [clears throat] MR. THORPE...

WE HAVE A UNIQUE SITUATION HERE.

- YEAH, A SITUATION THAT'S COSTING ME A FORTUNE IN DELAYS.

- [chuckles]

UM, LOOK, ON THE PLUS SIDE,

I'VE MADE SOME REALLY GOOD ALLEGIANCES.

- THAT'S TRUE, MR. THORPE. EVERYONE LIKES MICHAEL.

- AND THAT HELPS ME HOW, EXACTLY?

- I THINK YOU'VE LOST SIGHT OF WHY YOU'RE HERE.

I'VE BEEN VERY PATIENT, BUT I'M TIRED OF LOSING MONEY.

I'M GETTING A CONSTRUCTION CREW IN HERE

THAT ISN'T WORRIED ABOUT STEPPING ON A FEW LEPRECHAUNS.

[kissing]

- [sighs]

- MY TIME'S NEARLY UP.

THORPE'S HERE, AND HE'S GONNA BULLDOZE THROUGH THIS PLAN,

NO MATTER WHAT.

- WELL, PEOPLE AREN'T GONNA LIKE IT,

BUT I'LL DO MY BEST TO CALM THEM DOWN.

- SORRY. I'M SO SORRY.

- IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. - I KNOW.

I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO.

- AND I GUESS YOU'LL BE MOVING BACK TO NEW YORK SOON.

- WELL, YEAH, I'M SUPPOSED TO FLY OUT TOMORROW.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO FLY OUT A LONG TIME AGO, BUT--

- WELL, MR. GARRETT... - YES?

MAKE SURE YOU SWING BY BEFORE YOU LEAVE.

- OKAY.

- [grunts]

- [squealing and laughing]

- IF THERE ARE ANY LEPRECHAUNS AROUND,

DON'T DO ANYTHING RASH, OKAY?

I'M NOT HERE TO CAUSE ANY TROUBLE.

[quietly] I'M TALKING TO LEPRECHAUNS.

I'M HERE TO TRY AND HELP...

'CAUSE WE'VE GOT A BIT OF A SITUATION HERE.

AND IT'S ABOUT TO GET A LOT WORSE.

SHEAMUS SAID I'D NEED THE WISDOM OF SOLOMON

TO FIGURE THIS OUT.

YOU...

YOU WANT THE LAND.

THE COMPANY CLAIMS THE LAND.

WHICH ONE OF THESE?

WE DIVIDE THE BABY.

DIVIDE THE BABY. DIVIDE THE BABY.

[laughing] DIVIDE THE BABY.

SHEAMUS. [tiny laughter]

SHEAMUS.

YOU WISE OLD IRISHMAN.

IT'S SIMPLE. WE DIVIDE THE LAND.

SARAH SAYS THE GREATER PART HERE IS CLEAR

BUT WE KEEP THE FOREST FOR THE LEPRECHAUNS.

WE TURN IT INTO A... A RECREATIONAL AREA.

WE PUT IN SOME PICNIC TABLES, MAYBE SOME HIKING TRAILS.

- YEAH, BALLYGLENN COULD REALLY USE THAT.

- I MEAN, THE LITTLE PEOPLE HAVE NEVER BEEN SELFISH

ABOUT SHARING THE LAND,

SO LONG AS IT'S RESPECTED AND CARED FOR.

- THE LITTLE PEOPLE?

- OH, I'D LISTEN TO HER.

- I DON'T KNOW, I--

THIS WILL CALL FOR A REDESIGN.

- I'VE LOOKED INTO IT, IT'S NOT GONNA BE THAT EXPENSIVE.

PLUS, I THINK THROWING A FEW EXTRA DOLLARS AT THE TOWN

TO KEEP THE PEACE WOULD PROBABLY BE A GOOD IDEA.

AND I'LL STAY ON AS, UH, CONSTRUCTION SUPERVISOR,

MAYBE EVEN A PLANT MANAGER.

- WHAT?

- YEAH. I'M--I'M DONE.

I'M DONE LIVING ON AIRPLANES AND LIVING IN AIRPORTS.

I THINK IT'S TIME TO SETTLE DOWN.

BALLYGLENN'S AS GOOD A PLACE AS ANY TO DO THAT FOR ME.

- ARE YOU SURE? - YEAH.

I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE SURE OF ANYTHING IN MY LIFE.

- WELL, ALL RIGHT, MICHAEL, IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES,

UH, WE'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN. UH, JUST MAKE SURE

THE PRESS RELEASE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING

ABOUT, UH, LEPRECHAUNS.

- YES, SIR. - [laughs]

IT'S A DEAL? - IT'S A DEAL.

- PUT HER THERE. COME ON, I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK.

- IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON.

- I KNOW, WE'RE GETTING A LATE START.

- [sighs]

- SO...

YOU'RE GONNA BE STICKING AROUND FOR A WHILE LONGER.

- LOOKS THAT WAY.

I THINK I'M GONNA NEED SOME MORE IRISH LESSONS.

- [laughs]

WELL, I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT ONE.

- YEAH? - YEAH, LESSON NUMBER ONE,

IRISH WOMEN ARE ALWAYS RIGHT.

- REALLY? - YEAH.

EVEN WHEN WE'RE NOT. - OKAY.

- WOULD THIS BE A GOOD PLACE AND TIME

TO TELL YOU I LOVED YOU?

- RIGHT HERE IN THE MAYOR'S OFFICE, MR. GARRETT?

- YEAH. - HMM.

WELL, THAT MAKES IT OFFICIAL, DOESN'T IT?

[laughs]

[dishes clattering]

- EVELYN.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME.

UNTIL I CAN MAKE MORE PERMANENT ARRANGEMENTS,

I'M GONNA BE HERE.

- I KNOW. I HEARD THE NEWS.

- [laughs] OF COURSE YOU DID.

- I'LL PUT YOU IN THE SAME ROOM.

- THAT'D BE GREAT. - [laughs]

- OH, UH, ONE MORE THING.

HAVE YOU GOT A PASSPORT?

- NOW, WHAT WOULD I NEED WITH ONE OF THOSE?

- TO GO TO NEW YORK YOU NEED A PASSPORT.

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- I CASHED IN SOME FREQUENT FLYER MILES.

I'M NOT GONNA BE NEEDING 'EM AND I DIDN'T WANT 'EM

TO GO TO WASTE, SO...

YOU'RE GOING TO NEW YORK CITY.

AS PART OF A TOUR.

UH, YOU'RE GONNA SEE BROADWAY PLAYS

AND ALL THE SIGHTS,

AND I THINK THE FIRST THING YOU'RE GONNA DO

IS GO TO THE TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.

YOU MIGHT EVEN RUN INTO TOM HANKS.

- [laughs]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. OH.

- JUST HAVE A SLICE OF PIZZA FOR ME, OKAY?

[pub chatter]

- HERE YOU GO, MR. GARRETT.

- DO ME A FAVOR, MOLLY.

WILL YOU PLACE THIS IN FRONT OF SHEAMUS' STOOL?

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- JUST PUT IT DOWN BY HIS PICTURE, PLEASE.

- ALL RIGHT.

- SHEAMUS, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.

- MR. GARRETT.

- MR. BICYCLE DUDE. - [chucks]

HOW ARE YOU?

- UH, SOUNDS LIKE YOU'LL BE STAYING?

- WELL, THE WAY NEWS TRAVELS AROUND HERE,

YOU PROBABLY HEARD ABOUT IT BEFORE I KNEW.

- [laughs]

I--I GUESS YOU FINALLY FOUND YOUR WAY, HUH?

- YOU COULD SAY THAT.

- WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, MR. GARRETT.

- HEY. LADS.

- [chuckles]

- I WONDER, DID ANYONE THINK OF TELLING MURPHY?

- WHO'S MURPHY?

- YOU MIGHT CALL HIM A FACILITATOR OF WAGERING.

- A BOOKIE?

UH-HUH. "FACILITATOR OF WAGERING."

WHY WOULD A BOOKIE BE INTERESTED IN ME?

- OH, A LOT OF MONEY CHANGED HANDS ABOUT YOU,

YOU KNOW. - NOT ALL HANDS, NO. NO.

- NO.

WE PREFER TO BACK THE PONIES.

- AND THEN ONLY WHEN THEY'RE A SURE THING.

- WHAT WERE YOU BETTING ON?

- [chuckles]

IF YOU'D LEAVE. - MMM.

- IF YOU'D GET OFF WITH SARAH. - HMM.

- OR IF YOU'D KILL YOURSELF ON THE SCOOTER.

- AH. - 50/50 ODDS ON THAT ONE.

- [chuckles] WELL, I'M GLAD I COULD BE OF

SOME ENTERTAINMENT VALUE AROUND HERE TO YOU BOYS.

- OH, YOU'RE THE MOST EXCITING THING

THAT'S EVER HAPPENED IN BALLYGLENN, YOU KNOW.

- ARE YOU GONNA DRINK THAT OR NOT?

- OH, I'M TRYING. - [laughs]

- MICHAEL.

- YES. - HI.

- HI. - [chuckles]

- COME HERE. - SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

[both laugh]

LOOK, THE RENTAL CAR COMPANY

HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF YOU.

THEY HAVE YOUR NEW CAR. - OH, THEY COME NOW, HUH?

- YEAH. THEY SAID THEY'D BRING IT HERE TO YOU.

- ALL RIGHT, YEAH. TELL THEM I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE.

- OKAY. - THANK YOU.

[tiny laughter]

ALL RIGHT, WHO'S THE WISE GUY?

- WHAT?

- THIS ISN'T FUNNY.

- TOMMY?

MOLLY, COME ON.

[crowd cheers] [laughter]

[tiny hiccup]

[tiny laughter]

[upbeat music]