All language subtitles for Call Your Mother - 01x11 - Save the Date.CAKES.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,228 --> 00:00:02,960 - Oh, boy. - Is it ruined? 2 00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:06,014 As an oven, yes, but you now have extra closet space. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,110 - Oh. - Oh! 4 00:00:07,135 --> 00:00:08,771 I'm so sorry. 5 00:00:08,861 --> 00:00:11,730 I thought I was using oven cleaner, but it was spray paint. 6 00:00:11,802 --> 00:00:14,275 I couldn't read the label because the words are so small, 7 00:00:14,410 --> 00:00:15,676 and it has paint on it. 8 00:00:15,811 --> 00:00:18,193 In hindsight, that should've been a clue. 9 00:00:18,349 --> 00:00:20,315 Jean, why don't you just wear your glasses? 10 00:00:20,449 --> 00:00:23,786 Because they look like this. 11 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:25,521 - I think they look cute on you. - Do you? 12 00:00:25,654 --> 00:00:27,089 - Mm. - Then you're the one who needs glasses. 13 00:00:27,222 --> 00:00:29,291 Actually, I don't. My vision is 20/15... 14 00:00:29,425 --> 00:00:30,660 Shut up, Danny... which is even better than 20/20. 15 00:00:30,792 --> 00:00:33,661 Nobody likes an eye bragger. 16 00:00:33,795 --> 00:00:35,097 Good morning, Mom. 17 00:00:35,229 --> 00:00:37,666 Good morning, ass-I-assume-is-Danny. 18 00:00:37,799 --> 00:00:39,134 - Hi. - Hey, sweetie. 19 00:00:39,268 --> 00:00:41,337 - What a nice surprise. - Yeah, I was nearby. 20 00:00:41,469 --> 00:00:42,937 - I thought I'd get us some coffee. - Mm. 21 00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:45,140 Even got your favorite... a grandé Frappuccino 22 00:00:45,274 --> 00:00:46,776 that I insist on calling a "medium" 23 00:00:46,908 --> 00:00:48,509 'cause I know "grandé" makes you mad. 24 00:00:48,650 --> 00:00:51,354 Yeah, because the word "grandé" literally means "large," 25 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:52,633 but it's their medium. 26 00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:54,164 Why aren't people talking about this? 27 00:00:54,211 --> 00:00:56,480 Because quarantine's over. We're living our lives again. 28 00:00:56,622 --> 00:00:58,391 Nothing for me? 29 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:02,023 I d... Uh, we... I guess you could split mine. 30 00:01:02,048 --> 00:01:03,367 That's okay. 31 00:01:03,499 --> 00:01:05,849 I'm pretty wired from the baked paint fumes already. 32 00:01:05,911 --> 00:01:07,129 I should get some fresh air. 33 00:01:07,224 --> 00:01:09,852 My tongue is numb, and I, um... I'm starting to taste metal. 34 00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,889 Oh, God. Sorry again. 35 00:01:12,023 --> 00:01:13,624 Eh, no. 36 00:01:13,758 --> 00:01:16,092 So, you just came over out of the blue 37 00:01:16,226 --> 00:01:17,694 to bring your mom some coffee? 38 00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:19,462 - That's so incredibly sweet. - I need your help. 39 00:01:19,595 --> 00:01:21,364 Yeah, that sounds more normal. 40 00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,133 So, what's the problem? 41 00:01:23,267 --> 00:01:25,301 Financial, occupational, or personal? 42 00:01:25,435 --> 00:01:26,504 - Personal. - Oh, good. 43 00:01:26,637 --> 00:01:27,738 Because I'm not great with money. 44 00:01:27,872 --> 00:01:29,114 Don't worry. 45 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,874 I set aside enough for my funeral, when the day comes. 46 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,377 I've spared no expense. 47 00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,411 Okay, personal. Go. 48 00:01:35,545 --> 00:01:37,982 Okay, uh, I proposed to Celia three months ago, 49 00:01:38,114 --> 00:01:39,616 and I still haven't found the right ring. 50 00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:40,884 And I know that she's waiting for one 51 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,419 'cause I looked at her Instagram this morning, 52 00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:44,087 and she photoshopped a ring on her finger. 53 00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:46,889 Ooh. So just buy her whatever ring that was. 54 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,358 Yeah, well, tried that. 55 00:01:48,491 --> 00:01:51,395 Turns out it was J.Lo's. And I'm no A-Rod. 56 00:01:51,527 --> 00:01:55,765 Mom, I want to give Celia your engagement ring. 57 00:01:55,899 --> 00:01:57,768 - Oh. - I think she hinted about it to me. 58 00:01:57,901 --> 00:01:59,102 She said that she'd love whatever I picked out 59 00:01:59,236 --> 00:02:00,870 but that it needed to be special. 60 00:02:01,003 --> 00:02:03,973 And your ring is special, so what do you think? 61 00:02:04,107 --> 00:02:06,042 I don't know. 62 00:02:06,175 --> 00:02:10,080 I-I-I thought you guys would deal with this after I died. 63 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:13,817 It's in the "not my problem" section of the will. 64 00:02:13,949 --> 00:02:16,919 Did you get a diagnosis that you're not telling me about? 65 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,190 Mom, it would mean a lot to me, 66 00:02:19,323 --> 00:02:21,892 and I know having your blessing would mean a lot to her, too. 67 00:02:22,025 --> 00:02:24,795 And I just thought since you don't really wear it... 68 00:02:24,929 --> 00:02:27,898 Well, you know, it's not that I don't want her to have it. 69 00:02:28,031 --> 00:02:30,434 I'm just thinking about Jackie. What if she wants it? 70 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,069 For what? She's not really a jewelry girl. 71 00:02:33,203 --> 00:02:34,538 Or a sentiment girl. 72 00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:36,381 Or an engagement-in-our-lifetime girl. 73 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,908 Well, we don't know that. 74 00:02:38,042 --> 00:02:39,877 Jackie's been putting herself back out there again. 75 00:02:40,009 --> 00:02:41,399 Mom, it's Jackie. 76 00:02:41,477 --> 00:02:43,780 She puts herself out there, and they just keep sending her back. 77 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,750 - We don't say that out loud. - Okay. 78 00:02:46,883 --> 00:02:49,786 Look, do me a favor. You talk to Jackie about it. 79 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,321 And if she's okay with it, I'm okay with it. 80 00:02:52,454 --> 00:02:53,690 You can give my ring to Celia. 81 00:02:53,823 --> 00:02:54,924 Thank you, Mom. 82 00:02:55,059 --> 00:02:56,960 Wow. Celia's gonna have my ring. 83 00:02:57,092 --> 00:02:58,795 That just landed. 84 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,931 Every time you look at it, you'll think of me. 85 00:03:01,065 --> 00:03:02,633 Okay, I'm back on board. 86 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,834 Just do me a favor and clear it with Jackie. 87 00:03:04,859 --> 00:03:06,244 Okay, yeah, I'll call her. But I'll wait. 88 00:03:06,276 --> 00:03:07,482 She won't be up yet. 89 00:03:07,545 --> 00:03:08,849 She has no reason to get out of bed in the morning. 90 00:03:08,874 --> 00:03:10,676 No, we don't say that out loud. 91 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,877 Jean? 92 00:03:15,012 --> 00:03:17,047 Freddie just asked me for my engagement ring 93 00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:19,049 to give to Celia. 94 00:03:19,181 --> 00:03:20,917 It felt kind of weird, but now that I think about it, 95 00:03:21,050 --> 00:03:22,551 it's beautiful. 96 00:03:22,686 --> 00:03:24,455 The perfect symbol of everlasting love. 97 00:03:24,587 --> 00:03:26,190 Jean, I just got an e-mail. 98 00:03:26,323 --> 00:03:27,724 My divorce is final. 99 00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:30,360 Oh. 100 00:03:31,299 --> 00:03:33,168 That's some grandé news. 101 00:03:43,030 --> 00:03:48,170 - Subs by kinglouisxx - for www.addic7ed.com 102 00:03:51,151 --> 00:03:53,719 I just can't believe they tell you you're divorced over e-mail. 103 00:03:54,296 --> 00:03:56,282 Feels like a divorce should be more formal, doesn't it? 104 00:03:56,359 --> 00:03:58,427 Like a town crier or something. 105 00:03:58,556 --> 00:04:00,658 Do they still have those? Probably in England. 106 00:04:00,790 --> 00:04:03,627 You know, someone announces a royal baby, it's a town crier. 107 00:04:03,759 --> 00:04:05,595 Or like on TV when they send those two cops to your house 108 00:04:05,729 --> 00:04:06,965 to report a death. 109 00:04:07,058 --> 00:04:08,898 Do they do that in real life? That's a terrible job. 110 00:04:09,033 --> 00:04:10,400 Am I still talking? 111 00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:12,001 Yes. 112 00:04:12,135 --> 00:04:14,738 I'm sorry. I... I thought I'd be relieved. 113 00:04:14,872 --> 00:04:16,706 You know, this was supposed to mean the end of lawyers 114 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,176 and asset disputes and mind games. 115 00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:20,377 But it doesn't feel like that. 116 00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:24,515 It just feels like... the end of my marriage. 117 00:04:24,648 --> 00:04:26,449 I get it. 118 00:04:26,583 --> 00:04:28,852 No matter how much you prepare, it's still a really big deal 119 00:04:28,985 --> 00:04:31,155 to see your divorce become official. 120 00:04:31,288 --> 00:04:34,091 I-It's gonna take some time to process. 121 00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:36,227 Okay. 122 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,194 Okay, I'm done processing. 123 00:04:38,328 --> 00:04:40,030 Do you want to go on a date with me tonight? 124 00:04:40,163 --> 00:04:42,365 Really? Are you sure you don't want to take the day? 125 00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:43,833 Well, you're being so great and understanding. 126 00:04:43,966 --> 00:04:45,035 It only confirms what I already know... 127 00:04:45,168 --> 00:04:46,336 I'm ready. 128 00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:47,571 Wow. Okay. 129 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,139 - Uh, it's really happening. - Yeah. 130 00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:51,186 Our first date. Tonight's the night! 131 00:04:51,263 --> 00:04:53,550 - Ho-ho! - Well, not the night. 132 00:04:53,677 --> 00:04:55,212 I don't do that on a first date... 133 00:04:55,345 --> 00:04:57,781 anymore, probably. 134 00:04:57,913 --> 00:04:59,982 Okay. But just so you know, I do. 135 00:05:00,117 --> 00:05:01,451 In case you change your mind, or whatever. 136 00:05:01,584 --> 00:05:03,452 Okay, so I'll, uh, pick you up at 8:00. 137 00:05:03,586 --> 00:05:04,620 8:00? 138 00:05:04,754 --> 00:05:07,090 What is this? New Year's Eve? 139 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,058 If you want me awake the whole time, 6:30. 140 00:05:09,192 --> 00:05:10,727 See you at 6:30. 141 00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:12,562 Oh, uh, what about my oven? 142 00:05:12,696 --> 00:05:14,297 We're dating. We're not married. I'll get to it. 143 00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:16,632 That sounded pretty married. 144 00:05:25,507 --> 00:05:26,743 Job search going well? 145 00:05:26,877 --> 00:05:28,509 Oh, it's going great. 146 00:05:28,534 --> 00:05:32,515 Just got promoted to senior vice president of cookie stacking. 147 00:05:32,648 --> 00:05:33,716 What are you doing here? 148 00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:35,285 I was just in the neighborhood. 149 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,954 Figured I'd stop by. 150 00:05:37,088 --> 00:05:38,388 I was on my way to Out of the Closet 151 00:05:38,521 --> 00:05:39,755 to donate these old Hess trucks 152 00:05:39,889 --> 00:05:41,290 that Nanny and Pop used to get me. 153 00:05:41,423 --> 00:05:43,192 Hess trucks? You're getting rid of them? 154 00:05:43,326 --> 00:05:44,927 Yeah. Since Celia moved in, 155 00:05:45,062 --> 00:05:46,530 I've been told I don't have the space. 156 00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:50,167 You know, I always wanted one of these. 157 00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:51,701 - Did you? - Oh, my God. 158 00:05:51,834 --> 00:05:53,635 I wanted them desperately. 159 00:05:53,769 --> 00:05:55,338 But Pop said they weren't for girls, so every Christmas, 160 00:05:55,471 --> 00:05:57,106 you got a super-cool truck, 161 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,509 and I got another American Girl doll accessory. 162 00:05:59,643 --> 00:06:00,978 A child just doesn't need that many 163 00:06:01,112 --> 00:06:02,612 historically accurate pea coats. 164 00:06:04,129 --> 00:06:08,918 You know, when you think about it, it seems kind of sexist. 165 00:06:09,052 --> 00:06:11,655 Yeah. I don't even think you need to think about it. 166 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,322 You know, that kind of internalized misogyny 167 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,358 can really limit a girl's choices. 168 00:06:15,492 --> 00:06:17,461 Hm. Wait. Do you think that's 169 00:06:17,593 --> 00:06:20,764 maybe why your life is so, well, limited? 170 00:06:20,896 --> 00:06:22,565 Oh, my God. 171 00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,602 This makes total sense. Yes. 172 00:06:24,735 --> 00:06:26,535 The only career options presented to me 173 00:06:26,670 --> 00:06:28,672 were tending a victory garden or becoming a school marm. 174 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,139 If I had these trucks, 175 00:06:30,273 --> 00:06:32,442 my life would be completely different. 176 00:06:32,576 --> 00:06:34,076 I don't suppose it would do you any good 177 00:06:34,211 --> 00:06:35,311 for me to give them to you now? 178 00:06:35,444 --> 00:06:37,247 Wait. Are you serious? 179 00:06:37,379 --> 00:06:38,595 You'd actually give them to me? 180 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:40,150 - For keeps? - Yeah. 181 00:06:40,283 --> 00:06:43,486 Jackie, if the trucks make you happy, that makes me happy. 182 00:06:43,619 --> 00:06:45,655 And that's what siblings do, right? 183 00:06:45,788 --> 00:06:47,656 Not usually, but sure. Thanks, Freddie. 184 00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:49,492 Yeah. 185 00:06:49,627 --> 00:06:50,860 Oh, and, Jackie, one more thing. 186 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,862 Uh, I wanted to give Mom's engagement ring to Celia. 187 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,097 Is that cool with you? 188 00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:55,331 Why are you asking me? 189 00:06:55,465 --> 00:06:57,034 It's Mom's ring. 190 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,136 Look! The fire truck has a ladder. 191 00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:02,271 Mom wanted me to get your okay. 192 00:07:02,405 --> 00:07:03,907 She probably assumed you wanted it 193 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,642 because you're a girl, and girls like jewelry. 194 00:07:06,776 --> 00:07:09,011 Wow. My own mother. 195 00:07:09,146 --> 00:07:10,814 You never had a chance. 196 00:07:10,947 --> 00:07:12,548 So you're cool if I give the ring to Celia? 197 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:15,485 Yeah. What do I need a stupid ring for? 198 00:07:15,619 --> 00:07:16,920 I don't even have a stupid boyfriend. 199 00:07:17,052 --> 00:07:18,153 Boys are stupid. 200 00:07:18,288 --> 00:07:21,424 Yeah. Boys are stupid. 201 00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,329 How's this for a first-date look? 202 00:07:26,463 --> 00:07:28,032 Oh, perfect. 203 00:07:28,165 --> 00:07:30,067 The dress says, "I'm too good for you," 204 00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:32,468 but that little bit of bra poking out says, 205 00:07:32,603 --> 00:07:33,603 "I'm not going to make this hard." 206 00:07:33,737 --> 00:07:35,805 Oh. I'm not even nervous. 207 00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:36,974 I'm excited. 208 00:07:37,107 --> 00:07:39,577 I know. We're all excited. 209 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:42,278 I got a little group text going on with 10 ladies back in Iowa 210 00:07:42,411 --> 00:07:44,981 waiting for updates... and maybe a small wager. 211 00:07:45,915 --> 00:07:48,052 I got 20 bucks on him touching your boobs, 212 00:07:48,184 --> 00:07:49,685 so if you could help me out... 213 00:07:49,819 --> 00:07:53,257 Sharon, I wish you hadn't told everyone. 214 00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:55,816 Kathy Cutuli's on it, right? 215 00:07:55,958 --> 00:07:58,728 If I have to read her braggy Christmas newsletter, 216 00:07:58,862 --> 00:08:01,131 I want her to know I'm getting kissed by a hot Australian. 217 00:08:01,264 --> 00:08:03,133 Yeah, she's on there. 218 00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:05,769 But I also texted her a pic of Danny in a V-neck 219 00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:07,571 just to twist the knife. 220 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:10,372 Oh, you're such a good friend. 221 00:08:10,507 --> 00:08:12,274 I know. 222 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,743 Now, go out there and have fun. 223 00:08:18,662 --> 00:08:19,732 - Oh! - Oh. 224 00:08:19,757 --> 00:08:21,311 - I thought we'd meet out in the... - Well, I was... 225 00:08:21,336 --> 00:08:22,686 - I was ready, so I thought... - Sure. 226 00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:24,586 It's going great so far. 227 00:08:27,986 --> 00:08:30,956 I have had the worst day. 228 00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:33,525 Can we watch a vacation episode of "The Real Housewives"? 229 00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:35,295 Getting mad at Ramona's sleeping arrangements 230 00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:36,740 always makes me feel better. 231 00:08:36,788 --> 00:08:39,091 Oh, a new flavor of breakdown. 232 00:08:39,224 --> 00:08:41,161 Okay, you're fun to live with. 233 00:08:41,293 --> 00:08:43,262 I made the best trade with Freddie. 234 00:08:43,396 --> 00:08:44,964 Beep, beep. 235 00:08:45,098 --> 00:08:47,767 I bet you did. 236 00:08:47,901 --> 00:08:51,270 Starting today, my life is gonna be totally different. 237 00:08:51,403 --> 00:08:52,605 Okay, take it back for me. 238 00:08:52,738 --> 00:08:55,240 - Freddie gave you these? - Yes. To keep. 239 00:08:55,373 --> 00:08:57,009 And all I had to do was say he could give 240 00:08:57,142 --> 00:08:58,821 my mom's engagement ring to Celia. 241 00:08:58,954 --> 00:09:01,279 What a sucker. 242 00:09:01,413 --> 00:09:03,288 I've wanted these trucks my whole life. 243 00:09:03,396 --> 00:09:06,186 - Why? - Because Freddie had them and I didn't. 244 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,847 Okay, it sounds dumb, 245 00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:09,472 but if I had these trucks when I was little, 246 00:09:09,585 --> 00:09:11,187 everything would be different. 247 00:09:11,347 --> 00:09:13,526 Why? 248 00:09:13,925 --> 00:09:16,849 Because... feminism. 249 00:09:17,931 --> 00:09:20,666 Freddie explained it better. 250 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,736 I'll bet he did. 251 00:09:22,868 --> 00:09:26,339 You know, he's been trying to find Celia a ring for months. 252 00:09:26,473 --> 00:09:29,008 He must've wanted your mom's ring bad. 253 00:09:29,142 --> 00:09:31,011 And he knew exactly how to get it. 254 00:09:31,143 --> 00:09:34,406 - Wait. Are you saying he tricked me? - Yeah, he did. 255 00:09:34,646 --> 00:09:37,449 That ring was rightfully yours, and he stole it from you 256 00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:39,318 and left you with a bunch of dumb trucks. 257 00:09:39,452 --> 00:09:41,076 Okay, well, my trucks aren't dumb. 258 00:09:42,587 --> 00:09:44,057 But what do I need an engagement ring for? 259 00:09:44,189 --> 00:09:45,774 I don't even have a boyfriend. 260 00:09:45,799 --> 00:09:47,000 What about Nick? 261 00:09:47,025 --> 00:09:48,928 We've only been on a couple dates, 262 00:09:49,062 --> 00:09:50,741 and, yeah, I guess he hasn't ghosted me yet. 263 00:09:50,766 --> 00:09:53,499 - Ugh, Jackie, that was sad. - Yeah. 264 00:09:53,633 --> 00:09:55,668 Well, whatever happens with Nick, 265 00:09:55,801 --> 00:09:57,470 you don't need a man to put a ring on your finger. 266 00:09:57,604 --> 00:09:59,639 - I don't? - No. 267 00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:02,240 You can put a ring on your own damn finger. 268 00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:05,644 You go to Freddie and get your ring back. 269 00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:08,014 You're not gonna let another man take what's rightfully yours. 270 00:10:08,146 --> 00:10:11,049 It's time to stop the patriarchy. 271 00:10:11,183 --> 00:10:13,119 Oh, my God. 272 00:10:13,253 --> 00:10:15,054 Why didn't I think of that? 273 00:10:15,187 --> 00:10:18,499 I'll tell you why. It's because I'm a misogynist. 274 00:10:19,684 --> 00:10:21,215 I'm gonna get that ring back for myself. 275 00:10:21,248 --> 00:10:22,709 And for all women. 276 00:10:22,828 --> 00:10:25,029 Well, except Celia. 277 00:10:25,163 --> 00:10:26,631 Most women. 278 00:10:26,765 --> 00:10:28,466 Most... Most women. 279 00:10:30,369 --> 00:10:32,124 Did Luann honestly think 280 00:10:32,202 --> 00:10:33,819 that she could text a half-ass apology to Carole 281 00:10:33,913 --> 00:10:35,199 and everything would be fine? 282 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,476 We all saw the tweets. 283 00:10:37,719 --> 00:10:39,020 Did I see the tweets? 284 00:10:39,122 --> 00:10:41,725 You need to focus. 285 00:10:50,635 --> 00:10:52,004 If you don't answer, 286 00:10:52,137 --> 00:10:53,271 you know your mom's just gonna keep calling. 287 00:10:53,405 --> 00:10:54,639 It's not my mom. 288 00:10:54,795 --> 00:10:55,865 It's probably just a telemarketer. 289 00:10:55,890 --> 00:10:59,143 When are they gonna learn no one's taking a cruise again? 290 00:10:59,315 --> 00:11:01,327 - I'll get rid of them. - Okay. I'll be sure to pause it 291 00:11:01,352 --> 00:11:03,388 if anyone doesn't invite anyone to brunch. 292 00:11:06,584 --> 00:11:07,919 Yes? 293 00:11:08,052 --> 00:11:09,553 I want that ring, you tricky bastard. 294 00:11:09,686 --> 00:11:11,222 You can't just change your mind, Jackie. 295 00:11:11,356 --> 00:11:12,390 A deal's a deal. 296 00:11:12,424 --> 00:11:13,925 - That's not fair. - Yeah? 297 00:11:14,058 --> 00:11:15,660 Well, it also wasn't fair when you tricked me 298 00:11:15,794 --> 00:11:17,896 into trading bedrooms when you knew... 299 00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:21,266 you knew that yours was haunted. 300 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,968 That ghost did things to me, Jackie. 301 00:11:24,102 --> 00:11:26,337 She peed in my bed. 302 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:29,347 Nobody believed you then, and nobody believes you now. 303 00:11:29,473 --> 00:11:30,767 I'm getting that ring. 304 00:11:30,868 --> 00:11:32,734 - Mom said I could have it. - Tough. 305 00:11:32,877 --> 00:11:34,512 I'm going to Mom's right now, and once I have it, 306 00:11:34,646 --> 00:11:35,997 you will never see it again. 307 00:11:36,022 --> 00:11:38,382 Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, I'm gonna give that ring to Celia tonight, 308 00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:41,063 and once it's on her finger, good luck getting it back. 309 00:11:41,156 --> 00:11:44,622 You're gonna have to pry it off her cold, dead hand. 310 00:11:44,756 --> 00:11:46,958 - Why does she have to be dead? - You know what I mean. 311 00:11:47,092 --> 00:11:48,694 Yeah, well, I'm gonna get there first, 312 00:11:48,826 --> 00:11:50,327 and once I have that ring, I swear to God 313 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,363 I'll swallow it if I have to. 314 00:11:52,497 --> 00:11:55,367 And then you'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead stomach. 315 00:11:55,499 --> 00:11:57,001 Why do you have to be dead? 316 00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:01,879 Celia, Celia, turn off your thing. 317 00:12:02,005 --> 00:12:03,450 - We have to go to my mom's. - Aah! 318 00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:05,936 O-Okay. Go to your mom's. 319 00:12:06,069 --> 00:12:07,804 No. You're coming with me. 320 00:12:07,938 --> 00:12:10,573 Why? It's our night off from your mom's. 321 00:12:10,598 --> 00:12:12,084 Don't ask any questions, okay? 322 00:12:12,109 --> 00:12:13,378 It's a surprise. 323 00:12:13,510 --> 00:12:15,813 A surprise at your mom's? Oh, God. 324 00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:17,582 If you guys choreographed another dance together, 325 00:12:17,715 --> 00:12:18,949 - I'm leaving you. - No. 326 00:12:19,082 --> 00:12:21,986 I deleted TikTok. But that was a good dance. 327 00:12:22,011 --> 00:12:23,988 Though, in hindsight, a terrible birthday present. 328 00:12:27,824 --> 00:12:28,892 Thank you. 329 00:12:29,025 --> 00:12:30,267 Mm. 330 00:12:30,345 --> 00:12:31,962 I think we might be pretty good at this dating thing. 331 00:12:32,096 --> 00:12:33,664 Yeah. If it keeps going this well, 332 00:12:33,798 --> 00:12:35,832 Sharon might be up 20 bucks. 333 00:12:35,966 --> 00:12:37,702 - What? - Good bread. 334 00:12:37,836 --> 00:12:38,936 Yeah. 335 00:12:39,069 --> 00:12:41,531 - H-How are you feeling about things? - Aw, I feel good. 336 00:12:41,556 --> 00:12:43,408 I mean, the marriage was over long before that e-mail. 337 00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:46,843 - Mm. - You know, it occurred to me, 338 00:12:46,977 --> 00:12:49,045 if it wasn't for me getting divorced, 339 00:12:49,179 --> 00:12:50,680 I wouldn't have been renting out that guesthouse, 340 00:12:50,814 --> 00:12:52,983 you wouldn't have stayed there, we never would've met. 341 00:12:53,116 --> 00:12:55,385 I mean, at the risk of sounding too L.A., 342 00:12:55,519 --> 00:12:57,221 it all feels like fate. 343 00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,077 - I like that. - Me, too. 344 00:12:59,189 --> 00:13:00,725 Want to keep the celebration going. 345 00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:02,293 - Does a bottle of champagne sound good? - Yes. 346 00:13:02,425 --> 00:13:04,160 - Okay. - Uh, make sure to keep the cork. 347 00:13:04,293 --> 00:13:06,697 - Why? - Because we want to remember this day. 348 00:13:06,831 --> 00:13:08,866 I'll also put this fork in my purse. 349 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000 That's right. It's our first date-iversary. 350 00:13:11,135 --> 00:13:13,871 I'll make sure to put the date in my phone so we don't forget. 351 00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:17,341 Just wear your glasses, Jean. 352 00:13:17,475 --> 00:13:19,510 No, I want to look sexy on our first date. 353 00:13:21,577 --> 00:13:22,947 Okay, fine. 354 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:24,916 Excuse me, a bottle of champagne, please. 355 00:13:25,048 --> 00:13:26,683 It's our first date-iversary. 356 00:13:26,817 --> 00:13:28,351 Absolutely. Just be clear, 357 00:13:28,486 --> 00:13:30,587 we don't do free desserts for made-up celebrations. 358 00:13:30,721 --> 00:13:32,390 Okay, what if I call it an anniversary? 359 00:13:32,523 --> 00:13:34,491 Then I'm legally obligated to bring you a brownie sundae. 360 00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:38,095 Great. Two spoons, please. 361 00:13:38,228 --> 00:13:40,564 Sorry. I don't know why I winked then. 362 00:13:40,697 --> 00:13:43,266 - What's wrong? - Today's the 21st. 363 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:46,469 It is? Oh, no. 364 00:13:46,603 --> 00:13:47,971 I was supposed to give Ripper his flea treatment. 365 00:13:48,106 --> 00:13:49,841 Do you mind sharing our first date-iversary 366 00:13:49,973 --> 00:13:51,508 with Ripper's flea-medication reminder? 367 00:13:51,641 --> 00:13:54,544 Not if you don't mind sharing it with my wedding anniversary. 368 00:13:54,678 --> 00:13:56,581 - What? - Today's my wedding anniversary. 369 00:13:56,713 --> 00:13:57,752 With Mike. 370 00:13:57,830 --> 00:14:00,817 ♪ Happy anniversary, happy anniversary ♪ 371 00:14:00,842 --> 00:14:03,712 ♪ Happy anniversary, haaappy anniversary ♪ 372 00:14:03,737 --> 00:14:06,463 ♪ Happy anniversary, happy anniversary ♪ 373 00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:09,260 ♪ Happy anniversary, haaappy anniversary ♪ 374 00:14:09,393 --> 00:14:11,440 ♪ Happy anniversary, happy anniversary ♪ 375 00:14:13,384 --> 00:14:15,788 How could I have forgotten my own anniversary? 376 00:14:15,867 --> 00:14:18,717 I can tell you the date Freddie first ate asparagus, 377 00:14:18,742 --> 00:14:21,178 but one night whoring around with another man, 378 00:14:21,203 --> 00:14:22,839 and I forget my own wedding anniversary? 379 00:14:22,871 --> 00:14:24,449 You're not exactly whoring around, Jean. 380 00:14:24,481 --> 00:14:25,729 It was our first date. 381 00:14:25,754 --> 00:14:28,970 Although, I was looking forward to whoring around with you. 382 00:14:29,104 --> 00:14:31,440 Danny, I stole my wedding anniversary 383 00:14:31,572 --> 00:14:33,975 and gave it away to some Australian bloke 384 00:14:34,109 --> 00:14:36,011 who uses different slang than I do 385 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:38,413 and then looks at me like that when I try to use it back. 386 00:14:38,547 --> 00:14:40,014 That's normally 'cause you use it incorrectly, 387 00:14:40,148 --> 00:14:42,717 but you know what? You nailed it that time. 388 00:14:42,851 --> 00:14:44,752 Jean, I know how you must be feeling. 389 00:14:44,816 --> 00:14:45,910 I'm sorry. I-I just... 390 00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:48,207 I don't think I can talk about this right now. 391 00:14:49,858 --> 00:14:51,294 I'll give you some space. 392 00:14:54,497 --> 00:14:55,630 - Hey, Mom. - Mom. 393 00:14:55,763 --> 00:14:57,284 - Mom. - Mom, Mom, stop. 394 00:14:57,332 --> 00:14:58,575 Mom, Mom, Mom. 395 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,003 You said I could have it if she said I could have it. 396 00:15:01,135 --> 00:15:02,470 She said I could have it, 397 00:15:02,604 --> 00:15:04,138 but now she says that she's gonna eat it. 398 00:15:04,273 --> 00:15:05,507 Use nouns, Freddie. 399 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:06,941 Mom, Freddie tricked me. 400 00:15:07,076 --> 00:15:08,442 He made me think men were the problem, 401 00:15:08,576 --> 00:15:10,078 but really it's just him. 402 00:15:10,211 --> 00:15:11,879 Okay, guys, I can't deal with this right now. 403 00:15:12,013 --> 00:15:13,916 No, Mom, Mom, Mom, just... just tell Jackie 404 00:15:14,048 --> 00:15:15,684 that I get to have the ring to give to Celia. 405 00:15:15,817 --> 00:15:17,720 Wait. Celia, me Celia? 406 00:15:17,853 --> 00:15:19,888 He can't have the ring because I want it now. 407 00:15:20,022 --> 00:15:22,224 Thatagirl, Jackie. You're your own soul mate. 408 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:25,559 Uh, sorry, can we go back to the thing about Celia? 409 00:15:25,693 --> 00:15:27,428 I'm sorry. I was gonna do a whole thing 410 00:15:27,561 --> 00:15:29,097 and present you with my mom's engagement ring, 411 00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:31,389 but Jackie ruined it. 412 00:15:31,414 --> 00:15:32,667 Only because you tricked me. 413 00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:33,835 You fell for it! 414 00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:35,545 Okay, my life is in shambles. 415 00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:37,339 I fall for a lot of things. 416 00:15:37,473 --> 00:15:38,974 Here. 417 00:15:38,999 --> 00:15:40,562 You can have your trucks, I get to keep my ring, 418 00:15:40,587 --> 00:15:42,451 - and we're even. - The hell we are! 419 00:15:42,476 --> 00:15:44,446 - Take your trucks. - Stop. 420 00:15:44,587 --> 00:15:45,655 You can't make me take them. 421 00:15:45,686 --> 00:15:46,803 - No touchies, no takesies. - They're worthless if... 422 00:15:46,828 --> 00:15:49,383 You guys, enough. It doesn't matter. 423 00:15:49,517 --> 00:15:51,941 I've decided to keep the ring. 424 00:15:51,966 --> 00:15:54,189 Okay, wait, so everybody's had all these conversations 425 00:15:54,322 --> 00:15:56,158 about me and my ring and left me out of it? 426 00:15:56,291 --> 00:15:58,227 Freddie, I don't want your mother's ring. 427 00:15:58,359 --> 00:15:59,927 No offense, Jean. 428 00:16:00,061 --> 00:16:01,930 But you said you wanted something special. 429 00:16:02,063 --> 00:16:03,765 You also said you'd love whatever I picked out for you. 430 00:16:03,905 --> 00:16:04,973 Yeah, that's just something you say, 431 00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:06,876 like, "Let's not do gifts this year," 432 00:16:06,971 --> 00:16:10,408 or, "It happens to everyone," or, "You can do me next time." 433 00:16:10,542 --> 00:16:12,176 I hear that one a lot. 434 00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:13,679 But they never do you next time. 435 00:16:15,536 --> 00:16:16,971 I've already picked out the ring I want. 436 00:16:16,996 --> 00:16:18,168 You have? 437 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,626 Freddie, I picked out the ring before I picked out the guy. 438 00:16:20,758 --> 00:16:24,328 Do any of you even know me? I'm Celia. 439 00:16:24,456 --> 00:16:27,358 Well, if you want to get real, it's actually "Say-lia." 440 00:16:27,491 --> 00:16:28,526 Really? 441 00:16:28,659 --> 00:16:30,127 Okay, I didn't know that, 442 00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:32,363 but it seems way worse that Freddie didn't. 443 00:16:32,496 --> 00:16:34,466 Okay, look, you guys, enough. 444 00:16:34,599 --> 00:16:36,701 I-I-I can't handle this right now. 445 00:16:36,835 --> 00:16:41,406 I-I'm not giving up the ring because I just realized 446 00:16:41,538 --> 00:16:44,208 it's mine and your dad's wedding anniversary today, 447 00:16:44,342 --> 00:16:46,443 and I almost gave it away. 448 00:16:46,577 --> 00:16:49,213 So I-I'm not giving up the ring, too. 449 00:16:49,346 --> 00:16:51,149 I'm sorry. 450 00:16:54,685 --> 00:16:56,021 Happy anniversary. 451 00:16:56,153 --> 00:16:57,755 It's from both of us. 452 00:17:03,627 --> 00:17:05,463 They're yours now. 453 00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:07,231 Now I don't want them or the ring 454 00:17:07,365 --> 00:17:09,233 because you don't want them. 455 00:17:09,366 --> 00:17:13,070 Girl, you are a mess. 456 00:17:17,474 --> 00:17:21,345 Oh, hey, girl. You're back home early. 457 00:17:21,479 --> 00:17:22,713 Did he touch 'em? 458 00:17:22,847 --> 00:17:23,882 What? 459 00:17:24,015 --> 00:17:25,951 Your ta-tas. Did he touch 'em? 460 00:17:26,084 --> 00:17:28,086 No! He didn't touch anything. 461 00:17:28,219 --> 00:17:30,988 - It was a disaster. - Ugh. 462 00:17:31,122 --> 00:17:34,058 He didn't touch 'em. 463 00:17:34,192 --> 00:17:36,928 Yeah, I'll find out. I'll call you later. 464 00:17:37,061 --> 00:17:40,064 Oh. What happened? Was he rude to the waiter? 465 00:17:40,198 --> 00:17:41,699 A bad tipper? 466 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,141 Was it that thing where you want something, 467 00:17:43,268 --> 00:17:45,055 then you finally get it, then you realize 468 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,737 you don't want it anymore, then you know 469 00:17:46,871 --> 00:17:49,040 you're gonna want it again if someone else gets it? 470 00:17:49,173 --> 00:17:50,241 No! 471 00:17:50,374 --> 00:17:52,577 Today's my wedding anniversary. 472 00:17:52,711 --> 00:17:54,479 Oh, that. 473 00:17:54,613 --> 00:17:56,147 I know. 474 00:17:56,279 --> 00:17:58,317 What do you mean you know? 475 00:17:58,450 --> 00:18:01,885 Well, I didn't realize it until after you left for your date, 476 00:18:02,019 --> 00:18:03,622 and I thought to myself, 477 00:18:03,755 --> 00:18:06,425 "She is whoring around on her anniversary. 478 00:18:06,557 --> 00:18:08,626 That's cold." 479 00:18:08,759 --> 00:18:12,262 Then I realized, "Oh, she must've forgot." 480 00:18:12,396 --> 00:18:14,765 Then I got a little drunk, and I forgot. 481 00:18:14,899 --> 00:18:17,135 Then I remembered again, and I was happy. 482 00:18:17,268 --> 00:18:18,970 Happy I forgot Mike? 483 00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:20,872 Oh, girl, please, you didn't forget Mike. 484 00:18:21,005 --> 00:18:22,640 You forgot the date. 485 00:18:22,774 --> 00:18:25,076 I've never forgotten our anniversary, 486 00:18:25,209 --> 00:18:26,678 at least not until tonight. 487 00:18:26,810 --> 00:18:28,512 What does that mean? 488 00:18:28,645 --> 00:18:31,249 It means you're in a good place. 489 00:18:31,382 --> 00:18:33,785 Jean, I wasn't happy because you forgot. 490 00:18:33,917 --> 00:18:37,120 I was happy because you're not stuck in the past, 491 00:18:37,255 --> 00:18:39,824 because you're finally getting to move forward. 492 00:18:39,957 --> 00:18:41,860 This feels weird. 493 00:18:41,975 --> 00:18:44,128 I never thought I'd be here. 494 00:18:44,441 --> 00:18:48,378 And I definitely didn't think I'd fall for anyone again. 495 00:18:48,507 --> 00:18:52,311 Jean, you've worked for years to get to this place. 496 00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:55,747 Mike wouldn't want you fretting over a date on the calendar. 497 00:18:55,881 --> 00:18:57,548 You waited long enough. 498 00:18:57,682 --> 00:19:00,085 You're allowed to enjoy your life. 499 00:19:00,219 --> 00:19:02,488 And your Danny. 500 00:19:02,621 --> 00:19:04,390 I think I might've ruined it. 501 00:19:04,523 --> 00:19:07,126 Well, you go out there and you fix it. 502 00:19:07,259 --> 00:19:09,861 And you don't come back until it's fixed. 503 00:19:09,995 --> 00:19:11,229 And until you got more wine. 504 00:19:14,199 --> 00:19:16,535 And some jalapeño poppers. 505 00:19:16,699 --> 00:19:18,511 And some of those truffle French fries. 506 00:19:18,581 --> 00:19:20,583 - Yeah. - And maybe a chicken quesadilla. 507 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:21,909 You ain't got no food in this place. 508 00:19:25,302 --> 00:19:27,320 - Hey. - Hi. You okay? 509 00:19:27,345 --> 00:19:30,015 I am. I'm sorry. 510 00:19:30,148 --> 00:19:32,451 Everything just kind of took me by surprise, 511 00:19:32,584 --> 00:19:34,820 and I needed to work through some stuff. 512 00:19:34,953 --> 00:19:36,354 I didn't mean to leave you like that. 513 00:19:36,488 --> 00:19:40,025 It's okay. I completely understand. 514 00:19:40,158 --> 00:19:41,594 But you do know that today 515 00:19:41,727 --> 00:19:44,094 definitely cannot be our first anniversary. 516 00:19:44,164 --> 00:19:46,531 Of course not. 517 00:19:46,664 --> 00:19:48,299 But in an hour-and-a-half, it'll be tomorrow. 518 00:19:48,433 --> 00:19:50,202 Oh. 519 00:19:53,204 --> 00:19:54,705 - I'm good tomorrow. - Great. 520 00:19:56,741 --> 00:19:58,553 And even though he liked the asparagus 521 00:19:58,670 --> 00:19:59,879 when he first tasted it, 522 00:20:00,011 --> 00:20:01,412 he wouldn't touch the Brussels sprouts. 523 00:20:01,546 --> 00:20:02,881 - It's midnight. - Let's do this. 524 00:20:03,015 --> 00:20:04,950 Actually, wait. Ripper, privacy. 525 00:20:07,553 --> 00:20:10,723 Okay, now let's do this. 526 00:20:12,557 --> 00:20:14,259 Mm. 527 00:20:15,911 --> 00:20:18,514 Oh, crap. Today's the 22nd. 528 00:20:18,622 --> 00:20:20,332 I think today's the day Cheryl and I met. 529 00:20:20,464 --> 00:20:21,699 What?! 530 00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:23,068 Kidding. 531 00:20:27,766 --> 00:20:31,014 - Wow! - Wow! 532 00:20:31,073 --> 00:20:32,168 I know, right? 533 00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:33,533 And look what happens when I move it. 534 00:20:33,558 --> 00:20:36,661 - Whoa! Okay. - Ooh, so shiny. 535 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,336 It's even better in natural light. 536 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,617 - Ooh, I want to see. - Okay, but we need to be careful. 537 00:20:40,641 --> 00:20:44,045 This morning, I accidentally blinded a guy on his bicycle. 538 00:20:45,034 --> 00:20:46,736 Congrats. 539 00:20:46,761 --> 00:20:49,690 The ring is totally perfect, and Celia seems really happy. 540 00:20:49,823 --> 00:20:51,529 Yeah, she is. 541 00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:54,837 And only 142 more payments, and the ring will be ours. 542 00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,797 - Oh, about the trucks... - No, no, no, no. 543 00:20:56,930 --> 00:20:58,665 We said no take-backs. That crap is yours. 544 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,135 Okay, I just wanted to make sure 545 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,528 'cause I got pretty good money for them. 546 00:21:02,591 --> 00:21:04,793 After all that, you sold the trucks? 547 00:21:04,862 --> 00:21:06,541 Yeah, once you didn't want them, I didn't want them anymore, 548 00:21:06,659 --> 00:21:08,028 so I figured I might as well. 549 00:21:08,162 --> 00:21:10,030 What do you want, Jackie? 550 00:21:10,163 --> 00:21:12,099 Don't get mad, but... 551 00:21:12,232 --> 00:21:14,402 now I kind of want Celia. 552 00:21:14,535 --> 00:21:17,672 Did she say anything about me? 553 00:21:17,805 --> 00:21:19,640 Celia, we're leaving. 41390

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