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1
00:00:01,055 --> 00:00:03,101
Come on. Turn around.
2
00:00:03,164 --> 00:00:04,203
You were one minute away.
3
00:00:04,258 --> 00:00:05,724
How are you six minutes away now?
4
00:00:05,826 --> 00:00:07,192
Morning. Who are you yelling at?
5
00:00:07,294 --> 00:00:09,266
I ordered a ride-share 30 minutes ago,
6
00:00:09,363 --> 00:00:11,230
but Christine S. keeps turning left.
7
00:00:11,293 --> 00:00:13,059
I don't know what's happening.
8
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,197
You have a very low passenger rating.
9
00:00:15,284 --> 00:00:17,050
Two out of five stars?!
10
00:00:17,152 --> 00:00:18,885
What'd you do, Jean?
11
00:00:18,987 --> 00:00:21,788
I don't know. I'm a very good passenger.
12
00:00:21,890 --> 00:00:23,723
I make conversation,
I help with directions,
13
00:00:23,826 --> 00:00:24,991
and I always sit in front
14
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,626
so we can have
a face-to-face conversation
15
00:00:26,728 --> 00:00:27,928
when I talk politics.
16
00:00:28,030 --> 00:00:29,296
Run, Christine S., run!
17
00:00:29,398 --> 00:00:31,731
Oh! I think she heard you.
She dropped me.
18
00:00:31,834 --> 00:00:33,767
- Where are you trying to go?
- The grocery store.
19
00:00:33,869 --> 00:00:35,435
I asked Freddie to take me,
but he said he had
20
00:00:35,537 --> 00:00:37,437
such a good parking spot,
he didn't want to give it up.
21
00:00:37,539 --> 00:00:39,339
And then I called Jackie to drive me,
22
00:00:39,441 --> 00:00:41,374
but she said she drove me
three times last week
23
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,243
and her carbon footprint
was getting too big.
24
00:00:43,312 --> 00:00:46,413
Hmm. Look, you've been here
a few weeks now,
25
00:00:46,515 --> 00:00:49,950
and Los Angeles is really not
a town you can be without a car.
26
00:00:49,985 --> 00:00:51,852
I mean, people become afraid
to answer your calls.
27
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,386
I mean, I'm sexually attracted to you,
28
00:00:53,455 --> 00:00:55,255
and even I don't pick up sometimes.
29
00:00:55,324 --> 00:00:57,157
Yeah, I live across the courtyard.
30
00:00:57,259 --> 00:00:58,391
- I can hear your phone ring.
- Ah.
31
00:00:58,460 --> 00:00:59,759
And see you turn your lights off.
32
00:00:59,795 --> 00:01:02,195
Hmm. Look, don't you have
a job starting soon?
33
00:01:02,264 --> 00:01:03,263
I mean, what's your plan now?
34
00:01:03,332 --> 00:01:04,531
Oh, I thought you and I could carpool.
35
00:01:04,633 --> 00:01:05,732
I work from home, Jean.
36
00:01:05,801 --> 00:01:06,867
So we'll drop you off first.
37
00:01:06,969 --> 00:01:08,702
Jean...
38
00:01:08,804 --> 00:01:11,004
it's time.
39
00:01:11,073 --> 00:01:13,974
I remember when you guys
first got your licenses,
40
00:01:14,042 --> 00:01:16,009
and I didn't get to drive you
to school anymore.
41
00:01:16,111 --> 00:01:17,978
I missed our time together in the car.
42
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,479
Now when I get my own car,
43
00:01:19,581 --> 00:01:22,916
you're gonna miss your time with me.
44
00:01:23,018 --> 00:01:23,783
The blue one's nice.
45
00:01:23,886 --> 00:01:24,885
Hey, where does she sign?!
46
00:01:24,953 --> 00:01:26,887
Okay, everybody calm down.
47
00:01:26,989 --> 00:01:29,723
We are not making
any emotional purchases today.
48
00:01:29,791 --> 00:01:31,258
Which is why I'm doing the talking
49
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:32,292
when the salesman gets here.
50
00:01:32,394 --> 00:01:33,526
I worked on a car lot when I was 18.
51
00:01:33,629 --> 00:01:34,794
I speak their language.
52
00:01:34,863 --> 00:01:36,196
Also, let's not dance around it,
53
00:01:36,265 --> 00:01:38,031
I'm the best-looking of the bunch.
54
00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:40,433
Okay, Cookie, we'll
take our cues from you,
55
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:41,735
but I'm gonna do my part.
56
00:01:41,837 --> 00:01:44,304
These babies still have
a little gas in the tank.
57
00:01:44,406 --> 00:01:46,072
Ugh.
58
00:01:56,263 --> 00:02:00,332
-- Subs by kinglouisxx --
for www.addic7ed.com
59
00:02:01,494 --> 00:02:03,928
It means a lot to me
that you guys are here.
60
00:02:04,038 --> 00:02:06,104
You could've been anywhere,
but you're here with me.
61
00:02:06,206 --> 00:02:08,540
Well, actually, Celia's
in Chicago for two days
62
00:02:08,642 --> 00:02:10,575
at an influencer convention,
so I have nothing else to do.
63
00:02:10,678 --> 00:02:12,177
Hmm, actually, I had three vacation days
64
00:02:12,279 --> 00:02:13,245
that were about to expire,
65
00:02:13,347 --> 00:02:14,713
and Lane told me we were going to lunch.
66
00:02:14,815 --> 00:02:17,215
Still, you're here with me.
67
00:02:17,318 --> 00:02:19,251
Hey, wait. If you guys
are alone tonight,
68
00:02:19,353 --> 00:02:20,652
you have to come over for dinner.
69
00:02:20,754 --> 00:02:23,188
It hasn't been just the three
of us since I came out here.
70
00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:24,923
In fact, it hasn't been
just the three of us
71
00:02:25,025 --> 00:02:26,558
since you guys were in high school.
72
00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:28,293
Jackie always had a boyfriend.
73
00:02:28,395 --> 00:02:30,829
And Freddie always had
to bring a friend along
74
00:02:30,931 --> 00:02:32,898
when we went to the lake for the summer.
75
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,168
Who eventually became
one of Jackie's boyfriends.
76
00:02:36,270 --> 00:02:39,304
I was not prepared to relive this today.
77
00:02:39,406 --> 00:02:41,773
Okay, Bryce, this is our customer.
78
00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:43,976
I hope I can trust you
to take care of my girl.
79
00:02:44,078 --> 00:02:46,611
Go ahead Bryce, you got this.
80
00:02:46,714 --> 00:02:48,714
Well, may I suggest this model?
81
00:02:48,816 --> 00:02:50,449
It gets excellent gas mileage
82
00:02:50,551 --> 00:02:53,118
and has the highest
safety rating in its class.
83
00:02:53,220 --> 00:02:54,319
Ooh.
84
00:02:57,491 --> 00:02:58,724
What's that?
85
00:02:58,792 --> 00:03:01,159
Oh, that's your multimedia
infotainment touchscreen.
86
00:03:01,261 --> 00:03:03,395
Oh, so high-tech.
87
00:03:03,464 --> 00:03:06,498
Play Celine Dion!
88
00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:08,200
That's not how it works.
89
00:03:08,302 --> 00:03:09,334
Oh.
90
00:03:09,436 --> 00:03:11,303
But you can also get it with
an optional sunroof.
91
00:03:11,405 --> 00:03:13,438
Does that cost extra?
92
00:03:13,507 --> 00:03:15,507
Eh... a little.
93
00:03:15,576 --> 00:03:17,976
Translation... a lot.
94
00:03:18,045 --> 00:03:21,380
That's right, I speak your language.
95
00:03:21,448 --> 00:03:22,948
I'll just take the base model.
96
00:03:23,017 --> 00:03:25,584
But not in white because people
can't see you when it snows.
97
00:03:25,652 --> 00:03:27,819
Mom, this is Los Angeles.
It never snows.
98
00:03:27,888 --> 00:03:30,055
Yeah, and white's nice 'cause it
hides the ash from the fires.
99
00:03:30,124 --> 00:03:31,523
Oh, I'll take the white.
100
00:03:31,592 --> 00:03:32,758
I'll track one down for you
101
00:03:32,826 --> 00:03:33,792
and give you a call when I have it.
102
00:03:33,861 --> 00:03:35,260
Oh, I-I can't get it today?
103
00:03:35,329 --> 00:03:37,763
But I start a new job today.
How am I gonna get to work?
104
00:03:37,831 --> 00:03:40,132
I call dibs on taking
Mother Raines to work!
105
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,100
Oh, shoot, I was gonna offer.
106
00:03:42,202 --> 00:03:44,569
Snooze, you lose, guys.
107
00:03:44,638 --> 00:03:45,871
Good morning, Amy.
108
00:03:45,973 --> 00:03:47,406
I brought you some first-day donuts.
109
00:03:47,474 --> 00:03:49,207
Oh, thank God. I almost had a yogurt.
110
00:03:49,309 --> 00:03:51,309
You're an hour early.
111
00:03:51,378 --> 00:03:54,379
Oh, I went over all
my orientation materials.
112
00:03:54,481 --> 00:03:55,514
I got new binders.
113
00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:57,449
And I'm wearing a lipstick
called "Success."
114
00:03:57,518 --> 00:03:59,618
Are you ready for your first client?
115
00:03:59,686 --> 00:04:02,687
I've got a client.
I've never had a client.
116
00:04:02,756 --> 00:04:04,523
I'm like a lawyer or a prostitute.
117
00:04:04,591 --> 00:04:07,392
I've got a Julia Roberts movie job!
118
00:04:07,461 --> 00:04:09,628
Don't call yourself a prostitute.
119
00:04:09,696 --> 00:04:12,097
College counseling cannot
take another controversy.
120
00:04:12,199 --> 00:04:14,199
Oh, okay. Business Amy.
121
00:04:14,268 --> 00:04:15,667
No. Boss Amy.
122
00:04:15,769 --> 00:04:17,135
Got it. Boss Amy.
123
00:04:17,237 --> 00:04:18,937
Your job is to figure out
a kid's strength
124
00:04:19,039 --> 00:04:20,005
and get them into college.
125
00:04:20,074 --> 00:04:21,973
But sometimes kids have no strengths.
126
00:04:22,042 --> 00:04:23,308
Oh, as a teacher,
127
00:04:23,377 --> 00:04:24,576
I like to think that all students
128
00:04:24,645 --> 00:04:25,877
have something to offer.
129
00:04:25,946 --> 00:04:29,314
Counterpoint... meet Connor.
130
00:04:29,383 --> 00:04:31,083
That's my first client?
131
00:04:31,151 --> 00:04:34,019
I can smell the weed
through the computer.
132
00:04:34,088 --> 00:04:35,587
May-Maybe I should start
with an easy one.
133
00:04:35,689 --> 00:04:37,389
This is an easy one.
134
00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:39,024
You think parents bring their kids to us
135
00:04:39,126 --> 00:04:40,325
when they're Harvard material?
136
00:04:40,394 --> 00:04:42,394
You're lucky this isn't a mug shot.
137
00:04:42,463 --> 00:04:44,663
I believe in you. You can do this.
138
00:04:44,731 --> 00:04:46,731
Unless you can't do it,
then I'll fire you.
139
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,134
And don't put up any personal pictures
140
00:04:49,203 --> 00:04:50,635
'cause I don't like looking
at people's children
141
00:04:50,737 --> 00:04:52,137
when I'm canning their asses.
142
00:04:54,842 --> 00:04:56,808
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, guys.
143
00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:57,609
What are you doing here?
144
00:04:57,711 --> 00:04:59,111
You invited us to dinner.
145
00:04:59,179 --> 00:05:01,179
Oh, dinner, right.
146
00:05:01,248 --> 00:05:03,148
Oh, I haven't even
gone to the market yet.
147
00:05:03,217 --> 00:05:05,484
My first day turned out to be
so much more intense
148
00:05:05,552 --> 00:05:06,685
than I thought it was gonna be.
149
00:05:06,753 --> 00:05:08,386
There are two sides to Amy.
150
00:05:08,489 --> 00:05:10,856
And today I met Boss Amy.
She doesn't play.
151
00:05:10,958 --> 00:05:13,258
Or give bathroom breaks.
152
00:05:13,327 --> 00:05:14,426
If you have a lot of work to do,
153
00:05:14,495 --> 00:05:15,594
we don't have to do this tonight.
154
00:05:15,662 --> 00:05:17,429
Yeah, we could totally
do it next weekend
155
00:05:17,531 --> 00:05:18,497
when Celia's back in town.
156
00:05:18,565 --> 00:05:21,733
Oh, God, no!
157
00:05:21,802 --> 00:05:23,969
I do have a lot of work,
but I can multitask.
158
00:05:24,037 --> 00:05:24,836
I'll be fine.
159
00:05:24,938 --> 00:05:26,204
Okay. Should we just order in?
160
00:05:26,273 --> 00:05:27,839
Order in for Family Dinner?
161
00:05:27,908 --> 00:05:29,441
Who am I, Aunt Kim?
162
00:05:29,543 --> 00:05:32,210
Why don't we just go to
Hometown Buffet for Thanksgiving
163
00:05:32,246 --> 00:05:34,679
and get a plastic Christmas tree
while we're at it?
164
00:05:34,748 --> 00:05:37,482
Are we a family or are we from New York?
165
00:05:37,551 --> 00:05:40,018
Okay, Mom. We know. We'll let you cook.
166
00:05:40,087 --> 00:05:41,786
Oh, good. How about my curried chicken?
167
00:05:41,889 --> 00:05:43,155
I do love your curried chicken.
168
00:05:43,190 --> 00:05:45,557
I-I just need to borrow
a few ingredients from Danny.
169
00:05:45,626 --> 00:05:47,893
How about I make my brownies
for dessert?
170
00:05:47,961 --> 00:05:50,262
Freddie, it's your turn
to be my taste tester.
171
00:05:50,330 --> 00:05:51,496
Ooh, taste tester?
172
00:05:51,565 --> 00:05:53,165
I don't think I've been
taste tester since high school.
173
00:05:53,233 --> 00:05:54,432
If you don't want to do it, I...
174
00:05:54,535 --> 00:05:55,634
She just said it was my turn.
175
00:05:55,736 --> 00:05:57,502
Okay, well, if he gets the bowl,
I get the spoon.
176
00:05:57,571 --> 00:05:58,770
Oh, yeah, you get the spoon.
177
00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:00,238
How else am I supposed to
get the batter out of the bowl,
178
00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:01,373
you idiot?!
179
00:06:01,441 --> 00:06:03,208
Uh, I don't know,
use your fingers, turd.
180
00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:06,711
Oh, my babies are home.
181
00:06:13,153 --> 00:06:14,619
I don't need a ride.
182
00:06:14,721 --> 00:06:17,656
Oh.
183
00:06:17,758 --> 00:06:20,125
Hey, how's the career woman?
184
00:06:20,194 --> 00:06:21,893
- Oh, spread a little thin.
- Ah.
185
00:06:21,962 --> 00:06:24,362
I've got about six hours
of research to do tonight,
186
00:06:24,431 --> 00:06:26,464
but right now, I've got
my babies all to myself,
187
00:06:26,533 --> 00:06:27,599
and I'm gonna make them dinner.
188
00:06:27,668 --> 00:06:29,034
Can I borrow a few odds and ends?
189
00:06:29,136 --> 00:06:29,935
Yeah, sure.
190
00:06:30,003 --> 00:06:31,136
Okay, I need three chicken breasts,
191
00:06:31,238 --> 00:06:32,938
an onion, a bag of frozen peas,
192
00:06:33,006 --> 00:06:34,339
anything that might go into a salad,
193
00:06:34,441 --> 00:06:36,274
and a can of coconut milk.
194
00:06:36,343 --> 00:06:38,276
So all you have is a flame and a pan?
195
00:06:38,378 --> 00:06:40,212
Oh, I also need a pan.
196
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:41,046
Why don't you just order in?
197
00:06:41,114 --> 00:06:42,814
Because I'm not Aunt Kim.
198
00:06:42,883 --> 00:06:46,017
I cook for Family Dinners,
and I know my drink limit.
199
00:06:46,086 --> 00:06:47,452
And it's never just the three of us.
200
00:06:47,521 --> 00:06:49,521
And who knows when it's gonna
be just the three of us again.
201
00:06:49,623 --> 00:06:50,522
Hmm.
202
00:06:50,591 --> 00:06:51,723
There are boyfriends and girlfriends,
203
00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:54,159
and pretty soon there's
gonna be families and in-laws.
204
00:06:54,261 --> 00:06:56,494
And this gives me a chance
to get a taste
205
00:06:56,597 --> 00:06:57,462
of what it used to be...
206
00:06:57,531 --> 00:06:58,496
Hmm.
207
00:06:58,565 --> 00:07:00,165
...when they'd come home
for winter break
208
00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:02,033
and I'd buy all their favorite snacks
209
00:07:02,102 --> 00:07:03,735
and put their towels in the dryer
210
00:07:03,804 --> 00:07:05,804
so they'd be toasty when
they got out of the shower.
211
00:07:05,906 --> 00:07:07,572
Oh, wow. I wish you were my mom.
212
00:07:07,641 --> 00:07:08,873
Our thing is complicated enough.
213
00:07:08,976 --> 00:07:11,276
Yeah, I heard it.
214
00:07:11,378 --> 00:07:13,511
Besides, this is what
I came to L.A. for...
215
00:07:13,614 --> 00:07:15,647
to have quality time with my kids.
216
00:07:15,749 --> 00:07:17,082
Look, I know what you mean.
217
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:18,617
I mean, when my daughter was little,
218
00:07:18,685 --> 00:07:20,719
I used to take her to ride
the ponies at Griffith Park.
219
00:07:20,787 --> 00:07:22,921
I used to have to hold
the reins for her.
220
00:07:23,023 --> 00:07:24,990
Then she made me let go of the reins.
221
00:07:25,058 --> 00:07:26,358
Then she made a go at the Jet Ski,
222
00:07:26,426 --> 00:07:28,560
and the pony and I were both out.
223
00:07:28,629 --> 00:07:30,996
Jean, every parent wishes
they could go backwards.
224
00:07:31,064 --> 00:07:32,931
Just... Just don't be surprised
225
00:07:32,966 --> 00:07:36,134
if you find you can't recapture
the magic of your memories.
226
00:07:36,236 --> 00:07:37,335
Your kids are grown-ups.
227
00:07:38,605 --> 00:07:42,040
Mom, Freddie's brownie's
bigger than mine!
228
00:07:42,142 --> 00:07:43,174
Cow bite!
229
00:07:43,243 --> 00:07:44,276
Ow!
230
00:07:45,279 --> 00:07:47,112
Oh, Freddie, that's your last load.
231
00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:49,714
I can't believe you made Mom
do your laundry.
232
00:07:49,783 --> 00:07:50,915
I didn't make her.
233
00:07:50,984 --> 00:07:52,651
I just mentioned that it was in my car
234
00:07:52,719 --> 00:07:53,885
and that I don't have
any more clean clothes
235
00:07:53,954 --> 00:07:55,186
and that my laundromat's
in a bad neighborhood.
236
00:07:55,255 --> 00:07:56,721
I can't help that she wanted to do it.
237
00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:59,357
Oh, I love hanging with you guys.
238
00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:00,892
This has been the best night.
239
00:08:00,961 --> 00:08:04,195
I mean, I love Lane, and Celia's...
240
00:08:04,264 --> 00:08:06,965
in your life, but I miss just us.
241
00:08:07,034 --> 00:08:09,172
Okay, well, then let's keep it going!
242
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,536
- Movie night.
- Ooh, yeah!
243
00:08:11,605 --> 00:08:13,204
But I get to pick 'cause
Freddie licked the bowl.
244
00:08:13,307 --> 00:08:14,906
He licks, I pick... That's the rules.
245
00:08:15,008 --> 00:08:17,509
- And I pick "The Sandlot."
- Yes!
246
00:08:17,577 --> 00:08:19,244
- "You're killing me, Smalls!"
- "You're killing me, Smalls!"
247
00:08:19,313 --> 00:08:21,579
Oh... okay...
248
00:08:21,682 --> 00:08:22,681
It's still early.
249
00:08:22,783 --> 00:08:24,349
I guess I can get my work done later.
250
00:08:24,451 --> 00:08:25,950
I'm kind of a night owl anyway.
251
00:08:26,019 --> 00:08:27,619
I stayed up until the double-digits
252
00:08:27,688 --> 00:08:29,421
three times last week.
253
00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:44,536
Please don't be dead.
254
00:08:48,542 --> 00:08:50,241
Oh, thank God.
255
00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:51,276
What are you doing here?
256
00:08:51,345 --> 00:08:52,377
I'm here to take you to work.
257
00:08:52,446 --> 00:08:54,679
Oh, my God. Work.
258
00:08:54,781 --> 00:08:56,348
I didn't do anything!
259
00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:58,550
That damn "Sandlot!"
260
00:08:58,618 --> 00:09:00,151
It always puts me to sleep.
261
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:01,686
I've never made it to the end of it.
262
00:09:01,755 --> 00:09:03,621
Just tell me, do they
ever get the ball back?
263
00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:04,723
No, no, no, don't tell me.
264
00:09:04,825 --> 00:09:06,424
I can't tell you. I've never seen it.
265
00:09:06,493 --> 00:09:08,426
What? It's a classic.
266
00:09:08,528 --> 00:09:10,028
How have you never seen it?
267
00:09:10,097 --> 00:09:12,797
You've never seen it.
268
00:09:12,866 --> 00:09:14,399
Mother Raines, what are we doing?
269
00:09:14,501 --> 00:09:15,400
Don't you have to get to work?
270
00:09:15,502 --> 00:09:16,468
I do.
271
00:09:16,536 --> 00:09:18,303
Oh, gosh, I don't know what's happening.
272
00:09:18,405 --> 00:09:19,904
This is so unlike me.
273
00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:21,973
Oversleeping, late for work,
274
00:09:22,075 --> 00:09:23,274
I didn't do my homework.
275
00:09:23,377 --> 00:09:25,243
Who am I kidding? I'm not Julia Roberts.
276
00:09:25,345 --> 00:09:26,745
I'm Eric Roberts.
277
00:09:26,847 --> 00:09:28,146
I can't go to work like this.
278
00:09:28,248 --> 00:09:30,882
You'll be fine. We just have to,
um, smooth out your dress...
279
00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:32,384
- Yeah.
- ...and, um,
280
00:09:32,452 --> 00:09:33,585
fluff up your hair...
281
00:09:33,687 --> 00:09:35,720
and, uh, get you some shoes.
282
00:09:35,789 --> 00:09:36,732
- Okay.
- You need some shoes.
283
00:09:36,757 --> 00:09:38,890
Okay. Okay, oh, gosh.
284
00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:46,631
So, Connor, obviously
I've been going over
285
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:50,034
your transcript and test scores
286
00:09:50,137 --> 00:09:53,638
and... court-ordered community service?
287
00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:56,908
And they are all here.
288
00:09:56,977 --> 00:09:58,610
But let's look past the folder.
289
00:09:58,678 --> 00:10:02,714
Why don't you tell me,
in your own words,
290
00:10:02,816 --> 00:10:04,582
what you think you have to offer?
291
00:10:04,684 --> 00:10:06,484
Isn't that your job?
292
00:10:06,586 --> 00:10:08,920
That's right, Jean. That is your job.
293
00:10:09,022 --> 00:10:10,789
Why don't you tell Connor
a little bit about
294
00:10:10,891 --> 00:10:13,057
the college application process?
295
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:16,661
Well, based on my extensive reading,
296
00:10:16,763 --> 00:10:21,633
the college application process
is a lot like the...
297
00:10:21,735 --> 00:10:23,101
the...
298
00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:25,370
the movie "The Sandlot."
299
00:10:25,472 --> 00:10:29,274
And, um, college is a lot like an...
300
00:10:29,376 --> 00:10:30,809
autographed baseball.
301
00:10:30,911 --> 00:10:33,344
It's more valuable to some
people than to others.
302
00:10:33,447 --> 00:10:34,412
And then...
303
00:10:34,514 --> 00:10:36,381
A giant dog destroys it?
304
00:10:36,483 --> 00:10:37,449
He does?!
305
00:10:37,551 --> 00:10:40,919
The stepfather's gonna be furious.
306
00:10:41,021 --> 00:10:44,989
Tell you what, Connor,
how about you take this money
307
00:10:45,091 --> 00:10:46,524
and get some Doritos
out the vending machine
308
00:10:46,626 --> 00:10:47,826
and we're gonna reschedule, okay?
309
00:10:47,928 --> 00:10:49,627
Chips.
310
00:10:51,965 --> 00:10:54,699
I'm sorry. This is so not like me.
311
00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:57,202
I meant to get up early
and study Connor's file.
312
00:10:57,304 --> 00:10:59,437
I got carried away
with my kids last night.
313
00:10:59,539 --> 00:11:01,973
I-I have never slept through
an alarm in my life.
314
00:11:02,075 --> 00:11:05,643
I've never had a boss look at me
the way you're looking at me.
315
00:11:05,745 --> 00:11:07,312
Don't look at me.
316
00:11:07,414 --> 00:11:09,781
Look, maybe I made a mistake hiring you.
317
00:11:09,883 --> 00:11:13,284
You didn't! I swear.
It's just a lot to balance.
318
00:11:13,386 --> 00:11:14,853
Work and children.
319
00:11:14,955 --> 00:11:16,821
But I believe women can have it all.
320
00:11:16,923 --> 00:11:19,257
Look, Jean, I know I'm a good time,
321
00:11:19,359 --> 00:11:20,658
which may give you the impression
322
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,160
that I don't care,
323
00:11:22,262 --> 00:11:24,195
but I'm trying to make something
of this place.
324
00:11:24,297 --> 00:11:25,330
It's important to me.
325
00:11:25,432 --> 00:11:26,965
It's important to me, too.
326
00:11:27,059 --> 00:11:30,393
I've just put a non-refundable
down payment on a brand-new car.
327
00:11:30,504 --> 00:11:32,070
Boss Amy doesn't care.
328
00:11:32,172 --> 00:11:34,639
Oh, of course not.
I'm sorry I let you down.
329
00:11:34,741 --> 00:11:36,474
I won't do it again.
330
00:11:36,576 --> 00:11:39,477
Okay, I'm ready. You can look at me.
331
00:11:39,579 --> 00:11:41,446
Nope, I was wrong. I'm not ready.
332
00:11:41,548 --> 00:11:43,581
I'm gonna look away from you now.
333
00:11:46,823 --> 00:11:47,838
Yay, Mom's home!
334
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,291
Ooh, outfit so nice, you wore it twice.
335
00:11:50,299 --> 00:11:52,866
What are you guys doing here?
336
00:11:52,935 --> 00:11:54,335
We felt bad you did
all the work last night,
337
00:11:54,403 --> 00:11:56,583
so we brought ingredients
so you can make us lasagna.
338
00:11:56,630 --> 00:11:58,706
I left the receipt on the table.
339
00:11:58,774 --> 00:12:01,575
Oh, guys, I really don't think
I can do dinner tonight.
340
00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:04,511
I've got to get to my work.
Boss Amy was super mad.
341
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:07,815
And I don't think Friend Amy
works there anymore.
342
00:12:07,883 --> 00:12:11,185
Oh, so you don't want to
play Monopoly with us?
343
00:12:11,253 --> 00:12:15,055
Aunt Kim always plays Monopoly with us.
344
00:12:15,124 --> 00:12:16,790
Set it up.
345
00:12:35,945 --> 00:12:38,645
Hey!
346
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:40,247
What are you doing? It's 2:00 a.m.
347
00:12:40,316 --> 00:12:42,716
I thought you were a burglar
or a blond raccoon.
348
00:12:42,818 --> 00:12:46,487
No. I'm a night owl.
349
00:12:46,589 --> 00:12:48,155
What?
350
00:12:48,224 --> 00:12:50,257
I almost got fired.
351
00:12:50,359 --> 00:12:51,992
I didn't get my work done last night.
352
00:12:52,061 --> 00:12:54,094
And then the kids came over
again tonight
353
00:12:54,163 --> 00:12:57,398
and tricked me into playing board games.
354
00:12:57,466 --> 00:12:59,933
Now they're asleep inside, and I
didn't want to wake them up.
355
00:13:00,002 --> 00:13:03,570
Want to go look at them?
They're ridiculously cute.
356
00:13:03,672 --> 00:13:05,305
I'm good.
357
00:13:05,374 --> 00:13:08,542
Jean, you almost got fired?
358
00:13:08,611 --> 00:13:11,612
Yeah, it's okay.
I'm doing my reading now.
359
00:13:13,716 --> 00:13:15,048
Hey, I think it might be time
360
00:13:15,151 --> 00:13:16,884
to set up some boundaries
with your kids.
361
00:13:16,952 --> 00:13:18,619
But I don't want boundaries
with my babies.
362
00:13:18,721 --> 00:13:20,788
Your babies have jobs and lovers
363
00:13:20,856 --> 00:13:22,589
and pay quarterly estimated taxes.
364
00:13:22,658 --> 00:13:24,291
You're all seriously regressing.
365
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,693
It's not healthy for any of you.
366
00:13:26,796 --> 00:13:29,630
I don't care. I want to
regress all the way back
367
00:13:29,732 --> 00:13:31,932
to when they were inside of me.
368
00:13:32,001 --> 00:13:37,337
Oh, sorry. I said I want
to regress all the way back
369
00:13:37,406 --> 00:13:39,173
to when they were inside of me.
370
00:13:39,241 --> 00:13:41,375
I can still hear you in the dark.
371
00:13:41,444 --> 00:13:43,110
Jean, it... it feels like
372
00:13:43,212 --> 00:13:44,645
you might be part of the problem.
373
00:13:44,713 --> 00:13:46,280
And they're taking advantage of you.
374
00:13:46,348 --> 00:13:48,182
Have you never read "The Giving Tree?"
375
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:50,117
All that's gonna be left
of you is a stump.
376
00:13:50,186 --> 00:13:53,921
And they'll come by
and sit on me every day.
377
00:13:53,989 --> 00:13:57,057
That was its life's purpose.
It's a happy book.
378
00:13:57,126 --> 00:13:59,159
Doesn't that bother you that,
after such a terrible day,
379
00:13:59,228 --> 00:14:01,662
your kids still expect you
to play games?
380
00:14:01,764 --> 00:14:03,330
No. It's fine.
381
00:14:03,399 --> 00:14:05,599
I don't matter. I'm just the mom.
382
00:14:05,701 --> 00:14:07,968
I have to take what they give me.
383
00:14:08,070 --> 00:14:10,404
Aw, stumpy...
384
00:14:13,976 --> 00:14:16,043
Hey, good for you! You're awake.
385
00:14:16,145 --> 00:14:18,145
Oh... same outfit.
386
00:14:18,214 --> 00:14:20,047
Uh, twice was a cry for help,
387
00:14:20,149 --> 00:14:21,882
but three times might be a statement.
388
00:14:21,951 --> 00:14:24,685
I've been up all night
doing my homework.
389
00:14:24,753 --> 00:14:26,587
But I got it all done.
390
00:14:26,655 --> 00:14:28,455
I had a great Family Game Night.
391
00:14:28,557 --> 00:14:30,924
I got Park Place.
392
00:14:31,026 --> 00:14:33,927
A woman really can have it all.
393
00:14:34,029 --> 00:14:36,163
Are we in the car yet?
394
00:14:36,265 --> 00:14:38,465
No, not yet, Mother Raines.
395
00:14:38,534 --> 00:14:40,534
But, uh, let's get you to work.
396
00:14:40,636 --> 00:14:44,338
Maybe... Maybe run
my fingers through your...
397
00:14:46,208 --> 00:14:48,175
Not gonna happen. Never mind.
398
00:14:48,277 --> 00:14:50,043
I'll let you stick your head out
of the window on the way in.
399
00:14:50,112 --> 00:14:53,480
It'll be nature's blowout.
400
00:14:53,582 --> 00:14:55,115
Want to hear my plan for Connor?
401
00:14:55,217 --> 00:14:57,317
I want to hear your plan for you.
402
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:03,423
Are you about finished there, Connor?
403
00:15:03,492 --> 00:15:04,791
That form is just for me,
404
00:15:04,894 --> 00:15:08,228
a way of getting a sense
of where you'd like to apply.
405
00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:09,897
You didn't fill anything out.
406
00:15:09,999 --> 00:15:12,933
This is just a bunch of doodles.
407
00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:14,701
What's that supposed to be, a tree?
408
00:15:14,770 --> 00:15:17,738
Turn it over.
409
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,675
Oh, Connor.
410
00:15:21,744 --> 00:15:23,443
You've been sitting there
for 30 minutes.
411
00:15:23,546 --> 00:15:25,445
Well, yeah, that's why it's so detailed.
412
00:15:25,514 --> 00:15:26,280
Are we done?
413
00:15:26,382 --> 00:15:29,116
No, we're not done.
414
00:15:29,218 --> 00:15:30,817
Not even close.
415
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,619
Why aren't you taking this seriously?
416
00:15:32,721 --> 00:15:34,354
Everyone is here for you.
417
00:15:34,456 --> 00:15:36,223
Your parents are spending
thousands of dollars
418
00:15:36,292 --> 00:15:37,524
on a college counselor.
419
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:39,960
I was up all night, and you're
contributing nothing.
420
00:15:40,029 --> 00:15:41,762
Can you just take care of this?
421
00:15:41,830 --> 00:15:45,198
No, Connor, I will not
"just take care of this."
422
00:15:45,267 --> 00:15:48,035
I asked you to do one thing,
and you act like it's too much.
423
00:15:48,103 --> 00:15:49,770
All you had to do was circle the schools
424
00:15:49,872 --> 00:15:51,371
that you were interested in applying to.
425
00:15:51,473 --> 00:15:53,574
I'm sick of you expecting me
to do everything.
426
00:15:53,676 --> 00:15:54,308
So?
427
00:15:54,376 --> 00:15:55,609
So, you're not a child!
428
00:15:55,678 --> 00:15:56,944
You can contribute.
429
00:15:57,046 --> 00:15:59,212
I just asked you to fill out some forms,
430
00:15:59,315 --> 00:16:00,280
but you don't fill out forms,
431
00:16:00,382 --> 00:16:01,682
you don't ask questions about schools,
432
00:16:01,784 --> 00:16:03,083
you don't inquire about scholarships.
433
00:16:03,185 --> 00:16:05,852
I did not move here from Iowa for this!
434
00:16:09,825 --> 00:16:11,291
But you know what?
435
00:16:11,393 --> 00:16:13,393
It's my fault.
436
00:16:13,495 --> 00:16:15,562
I created this.
437
00:16:15,631 --> 00:16:17,798
I give and I give and I give.
438
00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:19,299
Does anybody care?
439
00:16:19,401 --> 00:16:20,867
Does anybody ask about my day?
440
00:16:20,970 --> 00:16:23,136
Of course not. Because I don't matter.
441
00:16:23,238 --> 00:16:26,907
Because I'm just a stump.
442
00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:33,847
H-How was your day?
443
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,716
Oh, God.
444
00:16:35,784 --> 00:16:38,051
I'm sorry, Connor.
445
00:16:38,153 --> 00:16:40,454
I-I-I kind of thought
the University of Oregon
446
00:16:40,556 --> 00:16:42,022
- looked cool.
- Really?
447
00:16:42,124 --> 00:16:44,625
We could get you into Oregon.
448
00:16:44,693 --> 00:16:47,961
Yeah. And, if you have
another one of these forms,
449
00:16:48,030 --> 00:16:49,896
I can fill it out without the...
450
00:16:49,999 --> 00:16:51,231
tree-nis.
451
00:16:53,702 --> 00:16:57,371
- Hey, Mom.
- Hi, Mom.
452
00:16:57,473 --> 00:16:58,939
Don't you "Hey, Mom" me.
453
00:16:59,041 --> 00:17:00,741
Oh. Hey, Lane.
454
00:17:00,809 --> 00:17:02,209
Are you cooking us dinner tonight?
455
00:17:02,311 --> 00:17:03,276
Where's Mom?
456
00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:04,511
Is she going to the store?
457
00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:05,846
I need Q-tips.
458
00:17:05,948 --> 00:17:08,248
You didn't see her sleeping
in my car in the driveway?
459
00:17:08,317 --> 00:17:09,816
Don't worry, I cracked a window.
460
00:17:09,885 --> 00:17:12,452
Because I care. Unlike you two ingrates.
461
00:17:12,554 --> 00:17:13,854
What's your problem?
462
00:17:13,956 --> 00:17:15,722
We just came over to
let Mom make us dinner.
463
00:17:15,824 --> 00:17:17,691
And I found more laundry for her to do.
464
00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:20,661
You guys are amazing.
465
00:17:20,729 --> 00:17:21,795
And of course, she'd just
466
00:17:21,897 --> 00:17:23,196
cook your dinner and do your laundry.
467
00:17:23,298 --> 00:17:25,298
Because she'd do anything for you.
468
00:17:25,401 --> 00:17:27,367
And you'd let her without even noticing
469
00:17:27,469 --> 00:17:29,403
she's falling apart.
470
00:17:29,471 --> 00:17:31,038
Like, look at this place!
471
00:17:31,106 --> 00:17:33,707
You should see her.
You should smell her.
472
00:17:33,776 --> 00:17:36,610
I had to tuck my hanging
pine tree in her armpit.
473
00:17:36,712 --> 00:17:38,311
And I didn't crack the window
for her safety.
474
00:17:38,414 --> 00:17:42,182
I cracked it for the resale
value of my Prius.
475
00:17:42,284 --> 00:17:43,283
What is this about?
476
00:17:43,385 --> 00:17:44,751
You!
477
00:17:44,853 --> 00:17:47,421
All you do is take and take.
478
00:17:47,523 --> 00:17:48,922
You need to be nicer to your mom.
479
00:17:48,991 --> 00:17:51,324
I-I don't know
where you're getting that.
480
00:17:51,427 --> 00:17:52,592
From her.
481
00:17:52,661 --> 00:17:54,828
When I talk to her and I ask her,
482
00:17:54,930 --> 00:17:57,364
"How are you? How was work today?"
483
00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:59,533
You know, when I'm driving her
to work and back,
484
00:17:59,601 --> 00:18:02,402
which is the least I can do
after all she's done for me.
485
00:18:02,504 --> 00:18:04,938
I mean, after all, she did raise me.
486
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,641
Oh, wait. No, she didn't.
487
00:18:07,743 --> 00:18:10,043
That's you.
488
00:18:10,145 --> 00:18:13,380
So, why am I the one
driving her to work?
489
00:18:13,449 --> 00:18:15,982
Okay, I feel like you're
trying to make us feel bad.
490
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:18,385
I'm definitely trying
to make you feel bad.
491
00:18:18,487 --> 00:18:19,820
Why?
492
00:18:19,922 --> 00:18:21,521
We're just doing what we've always done.
493
00:18:21,590 --> 00:18:22,789
My mom lives for this stuff.
494
00:18:22,891 --> 00:18:24,157
She toasts Freddie's underwear.
495
00:18:24,259 --> 00:18:26,727
Like "Here's to Freddie's underwear?"
496
00:18:26,795 --> 00:18:28,662
No, she puts it on air fluff
for 10 minutes
497
00:18:28,731 --> 00:18:29,663
so it's nice and warm.
498
00:18:29,765 --> 00:18:32,833
Why don't you do something for your mom?
499
00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:34,434
Clean this place up.
500
00:18:34,536 --> 00:18:37,237
I'm going to run her through the
car wash before she wakes up.
501
00:18:41,777 --> 00:18:43,877
Is Lane our new dad?
502
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,782
Thanks for coming with me, you guys.
503
00:18:48,851 --> 00:18:51,818
I invited the kids,
but Freddie's busy with Celia
504
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,220
and Jackie's back at work.
505
00:18:53,322 --> 00:18:54,755
They're done with me.
506
00:18:54,823 --> 00:18:57,290
You're gonna be okay.
Boundaries are good for you.
507
00:18:57,392 --> 00:18:58,492
Your new ride's gonna cheer you up.
508
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,494
- Ta-da!
- Ta-da!
509
00:19:00,562 --> 00:19:02,696
What?! What are you guys doing here?
510
00:19:02,798 --> 00:19:04,030
We wanted to surprise you.
511
00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:05,832
I hope you like your gift, Mom.
512
00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:07,200
It's from us.
513
00:19:07,302 --> 00:19:09,336
What? No.
514
00:19:09,438 --> 00:19:11,371
You bought me the car? It's too much!
515
00:19:11,473 --> 00:19:13,273
My babies bought me a car!
516
00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:15,142
Your babies bought you a car!
517
00:19:15,244 --> 00:19:16,510
No, no, no, no. We didn't!
518
00:19:16,612 --> 00:19:19,746
We didn't buy the car.
We paid for the sunrooooof!
519
00:19:19,815 --> 00:19:22,616
Yeah, Mom, look. 'Cause if you notice,
520
00:19:22,684 --> 00:19:26,119
the bow's on the car,
but it's mostly on the sunroof.
521
00:19:26,144 --> 00:19:26,953
The sunroof, yeah.
522
00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:28,453
- Oh.
- Oh.
523
00:19:28,557 --> 00:19:29,723
Oh.
524
00:19:29,792 --> 00:19:30,991
Well, it's still very nice.
525
00:19:31,093 --> 00:19:32,726
I mean, a huge letdown after you think
526
00:19:32,828 --> 00:19:34,828
you got a whole car from them,
but, uh, still.
527
00:19:34,930 --> 00:19:37,631
It's... It's... It's...
It's... It's nice.
528
00:19:37,733 --> 00:19:38,999
I love it.
529
00:19:39,101 --> 00:19:42,903
It's my own sunroof. So glamorous.
530
00:19:43,005 --> 00:19:45,305
Yeah, it's been brought to our attention
531
00:19:45,407 --> 00:19:47,040
that we've sort of been
acting like infants.
532
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:49,176
Yeah, and we wanted to do
something nice for you
533
00:19:49,278 --> 00:19:53,213
for a change to say thank you
for, you know, everything.
534
00:19:53,315 --> 00:19:55,682
Aww... It's perfect.
535
00:19:55,784 --> 00:19:57,617
I love you guys.
536
00:19:57,719 --> 00:19:59,085
Let's see.
537
00:19:59,188 --> 00:20:01,555
Door open!
538
00:20:01,657 --> 00:20:02,556
Unlock?
539
00:20:02,658 --> 00:20:04,825
Mom...
540
00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:08,328
Oh, thank you. Tired.
541
00:20:08,430 --> 00:20:09,474
Door open!
542
00:20:09,531 --> 00:20:10,730
Oh!
543
00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:12,365
Gosh.
544
00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:14,234
Shh! Quiet!
545
00:20:14,328 --> 00:20:16,195
Quiet! Shh!
546
00:20:19,787 --> 00:20:21,335
Hey, Connor's parents called.
547
00:20:21,406 --> 00:20:24,173
Oh, no. I just bought a new car.
548
00:20:24,276 --> 00:20:26,509
No, they're happy with his progress.
549
00:20:26,611 --> 00:20:29,078
And I'm not sure why this
is a compliment
550
00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:30,813
that needs to be said, but good job
551
00:20:30,916 --> 00:20:32,315
on changing your clothes today, mm.
552
00:20:32,417 --> 00:20:34,317
If you let me come back
tomorrow, I'll do it again.
553
00:20:34,419 --> 00:20:36,152
I'm looking forward to working with you.
554
00:20:36,254 --> 00:20:38,488
And you can put a picture up
at your desk, but just one.
555
00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:40,657
And no babies. Babies creep me out.
556
00:20:40,759 --> 00:20:43,326
Got it. I'll bring one from home.
557
00:20:43,428 --> 00:20:46,529
Ohh.
558
00:20:50,435 --> 00:20:51,901
Oh, God!
559
00:20:52,003 --> 00:20:53,636
Oh, God! Ohh...
560
00:20:53,738 --> 00:20:55,672
Stop! Shh!
40595
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