Original subtitles

[keyboard clacking]

- [whispering] "Just following up

on this wonderful opp"--

[sighs] Forget that.

[soft dramatic music]

- "Going off the grid.

"Six weeks, mountains, and total silence.

#writersretreat."

- I should get away sometime.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

- "Yet another book tour."

- Another book tour? - "#Bestseller."

- I thought her agent dropped her.

"Get it, girl!"

- "I am so #blessed.

"I just won the MacArthur 'Genius Grant' Award.

My cup runneth over."

♪ ♪

[bell dings]

- "Congratulations to me, bitches!

As you all know, I'm not really one to brag."

- [scoffs]

- "But I have super incredible news

"that I can't wait to share with all my closest friends.

"Mi familia, dinner at my place tomorrow night.

"The food is gonna be lit.

Bye."

♪ ♪

[upbeat music playing over speakers]

- Hi! - Hey! Thanks for coming.

- Of course I had to come. - You look so great.

[indistinct chatter]

♪ ♪

[no audible dialogue]

[chatter echoing]

♪ ♪

- There you are. - Oh, my God. Thank God.

Hey. - Hi.

Antisocial much?

- Who are all these people?

- Her closest friends.

So what's new with you?

- Um, well, actually, I'm about to hear back--

- We're engaged! - That's just a temporary ring

until I can afford a better one.

- Babe, stop. It's perfect.

- You're perfect.

[both hum and chuckle]

Oh, what about you?

- Dating anyone?

- I'm busy next Saturday.

The Avanti Gallery's featuring my minimalist photographs

in their Light and Shadow collection.

- Oh, wow. That is a super legit gallery.

You excited? - Yeah.

It's only four of my pieces.

- I was so nervous opening my own clothing boutique

because I saw on "Shark Tank" that 30% of small businesses

fail in the first year, and-- - I get it.

It can be scary to take that risk, right?

- I know.

I lucked out, though, because we're looking

at a second location.

- Oh, I could hook you up with my friend Joaquin.

- No, that guy's an asshole.

What about Alejandro?

- No, babe, he was in that car accident.

- Oh, right. RIP.

Well, Javier? - Ooh.

- Guys, I mean, who has time for sex

when you're married to your career?

You know what I mean? Am I right?

both: We do. [laughter]

- We say it all the time. We said it at that party last--

- Oh, bae, I love you. - Oh, my God.

- Well, I'm talking to a publishing company

about developing a coffee-table book.

They want to match my photos up with a writer.

- If you need a writer.

- Ay, bendito. That would be amazing.

Unfortunately, they want to match me

with a high-profile writer, you know, for sales.

- Right. Next time.

- Next time. - [chuckles]

- What do they say about luck? It's when preparation meets--

- Opportunity? - Right. Well, what about you?

Do you have any exciting opportunities?

- Yeah, so I'm just waiting to hear back

from the Hermanas Hispanic Fellowship.

It's a grant for Latina writers.

And I'm a finalist.

It's really, really exciting.

If I get it-- no, I mean when I get it...

I will be awarded $25 grand...

health insurance, and housing.

So bye-bye, roommates.

And the best part is that I can fully focus on being a writer.

I mean, that's the dream, right?

- Oh. Haven't you heard?

- Not yet.

They should be emailing me, though, any day now.

- No, Caro got it.

Someone referred her to the program.

You know how inspiring her Insta poetry is.

So exciting, right?

When one of us wins, we all win.

[discordant music]

♪ ♪

[chatter echoing]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[no audible dialogue]

♪ ♪

[laughter echoing]

♪ ♪

[snaps echoing]

[applause]

♪ ♪

- Salud! all: Salud!

[indistinct chatter]

- That bad? - Huh?

- Not a fan of sangria either?

I always used to think it was so weird that sangria--

- Sangria's fine, Cassie.

- Yolanda, I know you really wanted that grant.

That money would've really helped you, but--

- Let me guess. Patience is a virtue?

- No, I-- - Or my personal favorite:

when one door closes, another one opens.

- Isn't it a window? - Whatever.

All I really know is that I don't have any more patience,

because Caro opened my door, and all I really want to do

is push her out the fucking window.

I'm sorry. I just--

I feel like you're all doing so well

and I'm getting left behind.

- Appearances aren't always deceiving.

- You mean they can be. - Exactly.

Between us, I'm really struggling

on opening another boutique.

I was hoping that Caro would help promote

my fundraising campaign, but--

since, you know, she has so many followers.

But...

- Uh-huh?

- Well, I guess not all of us believe in paying it forward.

- The voice of a generation.

- So how did you find out about this grant?

- Well, actually--

- So actually, please forgive me.

I believe that it's something that we don't--

like, really should talk about 'cause I don't want to jinx it.

But let's just say it was written in the cards for me.

I was there--I was there at the right time.

- Cheers, bitch. [giggles]

Ooh!

Okay, never have I ever... - Hmm?

- Tried on Caro's jewelry while she was taking a shit.

- I would never.

- [laughs]

- Never have I ever catfished Caro

so that I could teach her a lesson.

- Hey, you didn't stop me.

- I'm not saying she didn't have it coming.

- Then we both drink. - Oh.

- Such a shame, you know? - Mm, yeah, I know.

This tequila isn't strong enough.

- College is so behind us.

- College. - [laughs]

- [whispering] Yeah, Caro...

is still getting by doing the bare minimum.

- Wait. What?

- Doesn't it drive you crazy

that we, people of color--

- Technically, you're white-passing.

- You know what I mean.

Latina. Female. Underrepresented.

We have little to no opportunities.

- Yep. - We pay our dues.

- Mm-hmm. - We work hard.

- True. - We patiently wait our turn,

only to have...

[whispering] Mediocre people

snatch our one opportunity. - [scoffs]

- Why should she get a fast pass?

- Mm-hmm, so, what,

you're trying to tell me that life isn't fair?

You know how many Caros I've had to put up with?

It's the way the world works.

- Back in college,

we approached that whole catfishing thing

the wrong way.

We tried to humble Caro. I mean, that'll never happen.

But what if...

we change the way the world views her,

show them who Caro really is?

- Then what?

- Then people like us finally get their foot in the door.

- I'm listening.

- As soon as the rest of the guests leave,

we'll get Caro wasted.

Tequila is the best truth serum.

- Okay, fine.

I may have a ghostwriter who helps me with my poetry.

- I'll coax her into admitting

that she doesn't really deserve this opportunity.

- I don't deserve this opportunity.

- Meanwhile, Carlos secretly records us on his phone.

- Hold.

That's not gonna work. [knock at door]

- Why?

- Because knowing Caro,

she'll come across humble as fuck.

[knock at door]

It needs to feel like she's giving a middle finger

to her followers. - Oh, yeah, that's good.

- Hold--hold on!

Okay.

I got it.

Guests leave. Caro's wasted.

And we coax her into a game.

Let's play a game. - Great idea.

- What game?

- Let's make our own confessional videos.

Like in "The Real World." - Fun.

- We'll set her up and record her.

- I fooled you, motherfuckers! [cackles]

- Then we'll post the video on social media.

- Hell no.

- What's wrong now?

- I'm not posting that on my account.

I'll look like a total asshole. - You are a total asshole.

- But I don't want to post that either.

- Caro should post that on her account.

- Well, how do we do that?

- How about this?

Guests leave, Caro's wasted, confessional game.

[determined guitar music]

♪ ♪

As Caro's getting a refill...

Claudia will steal her phone...

Load the video, and post it on Caro's account.

All of her followers will realize

what an entitled, spoiled little bitch she is,

and they'll start to unfollow her

one by one till there's no one left.

She will be all alone.

And then just when you think things can't get any worse,

the phone rings.

And it's the Latina Writers Grant saying,

well, they can't have this hack,

this fraud,

representing their good name.

She will be completely ruined, and then finally,

there will be some balance restored in this world.

- What is wrong with you?

Is this some sick joke?

- Okay, look.

I know you feel the same way.

- Caro is my mentor.

I would never do anything to hurt my mentor.

- What has she ever done for you?

- She's, um--

she's, um...

Whatever.

I'm gonna tell her. She deserves to know.

- Know what?

[tense music]

- Um...

we were just talking about how proud of you we are.

- Guys. - That's not what we--

- And I guess the cat is out of the bag now.

But we have such a special surprise planned for you.

- A surprise? - She's not planning--

- Shh!

- We were waiting for the rest of the guests to leave.

We needed to make sure it was just your closest friends.

- I love surprises.

You guys are too much.

- God damn it, it's not a surprise.

- What is wrong with you today?

God, you're exhausting me.

- What do you mean?

- This is my big moment.

We're celebrating me.

Yet everywhere I go, you're in the fucking way.

- But whatever happened to, "When one of us wins, we all"--

- Stop trying to share the spotlight.

I'm winning.

There's not enough space for you, Claudia.

Anyways...

where were we?

- A big surprise. Are you so excited?

- You guys are just so-- - Oh, my God.

You're gonna love it. - I feel so lucky. You're so--

- [screaming]

Stop!

Stop, Claudia! Claudia, what the fuck?

What the fuck, Claudia?

- Aah! - Holy shit.

- Oh, my God.

- She said there wasn't enough space, so...

I made space.

- She didn't mean that literally.

- Bro, I think she's dead.

- I had a bad feeling about this.

- This was all Yoly's idea. - [gasps]

- Yeah, she's always been so jealous of Caro.

- You were the one that told me that we should--

- Guys, guys, don't you see?

We did it.

We restored the balance.

[sighs]

- [snickering]

[both laugh]

[laughter]

[cell phones chime]

- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yes!

I got it. - Got what?

- Penguin Books.

They're publishing my manuscript.

Oh, my God, I feel so honored,

so...blessed.

Oh, this is literally a dream come true.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪