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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,080 (WHOOSHING) 2 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,120 JEFFERSON AIRPLANE: White Rabbit 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,880 VINNIE: Ooh... Jesus. Fucking hell. 4 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,680 I forgot you were there. Yes, dude, listen to this one. 5 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,000 In Switzerland, if you have a guinea pig, it has to have a pal with it. 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,760 In Switzerland, if you have a guinea pig, it has to have a pal with it. 7 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,680 Can't be on its own because they're social animals, you see? 8 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,000 They get lonely, so it's illegal to keep one on its tod. 9 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,680 They get lonely, so it's illegal to keep one on its tod. 10 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,280 No, it's a nice gesture, but doesn't exactly exonerate 11 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:27,920 the Nazi-banking cunts, does it? 12 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,000 Wonder if one of them guinea pigs could ever be like me. 13 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,680 Wonder if one of them guinea pigs could ever be like me. 14 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,760 Just bit of an antisocial pig. You know, 15 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,880 who doesn't wanna be around all the other guinea pigs 16 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,000 24-fucking-7, for God sake. (COUGHS) 17 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,440 24-fucking-7, for God sake. (COUGHS) 18 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,800 (CLEARS THROAT) What, because of your...your social whatnot? 19 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,000 You're a bad doctor. 20 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:46,760 You're a bad doctor. 21 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,880 Excellent doctor - got my diploma to prove it. 22 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,000 Where the fucks my diploma?! 23 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:54,400 Where the fucks my diploma?! 24 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,120 Adyan Khan. What? Adyan Khan, man. He's a fucking patient. 25 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,320 Adyan Khan? Yes, he's nicked it. 26 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,720 He sold it to Unit John who owns the chippy. 27 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:02,000 Fucking boss-eyed little twat. 28 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,760 Fucking boss-eyed little twat. 29 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,640 (TYPING) 30 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,680 Right, Vinnie, standard procedure is to address the root cause 31 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,000 of the anxiety. So what's making you anxious? 32 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,240 of the anxiety. So what's making you anxious? 33 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,120 A fucking million things are making me - Just tell me one of them. 34 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,680 Alright. Everything's just... 35 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:18,000 everything's so expensive. I'm just not even enjoying myself. 36 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,160 everything's so expensive. I'm just not even enjoying myself. 37 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,400 Yeah, no, I've got nothing. Give me something else? 38 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,880 Erm... Alright. 39 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,000 Perfect example - going camping tonight with my knobhead mates. 40 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,080 Perfect example - going camping tonight with my knobhead mates. 41 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,880 We're in middle of fucking nowhere. This is not a treat for me, 42 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,600 you know what I mean? I'm just a fucking walking contradiction. 43 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:42,000 I'm lonely, yet I can't stand being with people. They... 44 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,800 I'm lonely, yet I can't stand being with people. They... 45 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,920 Well, maybe the fresh air will do you good? Fantastic. 46 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,000 Thank God you're here. 47 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:50,800 Thank God you're here. 48 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,240 Fucking fresh air. Listen to this. This'll cheer you up. 49 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,160 Is that Adyan Khan? 50 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,640 Hi, Adyan, it's Dr Chris here. 51 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,480 Adyan, there's no easy way of saying this, really, but your tests have come back. 52 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,000 Let me put it this way. I wouldn't bother booking a holiday next year. 53 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,760 Let me put it this way. I wouldn't bother booking a holiday next year. 54 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,000 You'll get in some shit for that. 55 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,840 I think you'd better come in. Alright, bye. 56 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,760 (CACKLES) 57 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,600 BARRETT STRONG: Money (That's What I Want) 58 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,520 The best things in life Are free... 59 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:29,320 But how? How did he manage to fuck up a job working a stop-and-go sign? 60 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,000 CAROL: Ah, it was just the pressure just got to him. 61 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,560 CAROL: Ah, it was just the pressure just got to him. 62 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,880 He got confused, and now Francis is after skinning him alive. 63 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:37,200 He's a very sensitive fella, now, so just mind you 64 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,000 what you'll be saying to him, like. What's this? 65 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,760 what you'll be saying to him, like. What's this? 66 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:43,040 Cardi's lost that job I got him with my uncle on the roadworks. Fuck. 67 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,640 Your Uncle Francis is an absol- Shh... Hey up, man. 68 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:46,000 You alright, love? Yeah. Do you want a drink? No. 69 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,120 You alright, love? Yeah. Do you want a drink? No. 70 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,920 What time do you call this? I said 2:00pm. 71 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,760 Hey. It is not my fault. It's bloody chaos 72 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,000 down that big posh school, man. Huge crash down by the roadworks. 73 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,640 down that big posh school, man. Huge crash down by the roadworks. 74 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,640 Absolute nightmare. You should've seen it - massive pile-up 75 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,800 with a hearse and the whole funeral procession. 76 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,000 Coffin came out of the back and everything. 77 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:02,640 Coffin came out of the back and everything. 78 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,920 SUGAR: I've heard that school has got a sushi chef. 79 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,440 What? I fucking hate that school with a passion, do you know that? 80 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,000 The kids there are all cunts. It's an absolute piss-take. 81 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,320 The kids there are all cunts. It's an absolute piss-take. 82 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,640 The community centre gets pushed back on every grant we apply for - 83 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,640 them twats get sushi chefs. 84 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,000 (LAUGHS) 85 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:18,200 (LAUGHS) 86 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:22,360 We all ready to go camping, then? (LAUGHTER) 87 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,480 Where's all your gear? We're not coming. 88 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,000 Why not? I'd rather get a UTI. 89 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:26,560 Why not? I'd rather get a UTI. 90 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,760 It's gonna be the usual mayhem with you lot. 91 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,960 It fucking ain't gonna be the usual mayhem with us lot. 92 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,800 It's gonna be magical, and it's gonna be whimsical. 93 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:34,000 NANCY SINATRA: These Boots Are Made For Walkin' 94 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,600 NANCY SINATRA: These Boots Are Made For Walkin' 95 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,120 (LAUGHTER) 96 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,000 Bring it on. Laugh it up, you rancid bunch of dickheads. 97 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:42,760 Bring it on. Laugh it up, you rancid bunch of dickheads. 98 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,360 Well, at least one of us is prepared for the wilderness 99 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,040 and her many, many challenges. 100 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,000 You look like Ray Mears crapped out a Borrower, you cunt. Where's Ashley? 101 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:50,400 You look like Ray Mears crapped out a Borrower, you cunt. Where's Ashley? 102 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:54,040 Having a poo. Having a poo? Are you wearing that, love? Yeah. 103 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,240 What the fuck are you lot up to? 104 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,000 So, it's replacement work on the power grid. 105 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,240 So, it's replacement work on the power grid. 106 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,360 They're upgrading the cables or something. 107 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,360 And now someone else Is getting all your best 108 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,560 These boots are made for walkin' 109 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,880 And that's just what they'll do 110 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,000 One of these days, these boots Are gonna walk all over you... 111 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:18,320 One of these days, these boots Are gonna walk all over you... 112 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,640 Fuck! 113 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,320 So within that one-hour window, they cut the power to the area, 114 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,000 OK, they replace the cables, and then they restore the power. 115 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,480 OK, they replace the cables, and then they restore the power. 116 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:35,080 Oi? Oi. All within an hour? All within an hour All within an hour. 117 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,000 Fucking giggling about? You look like you're fixing to do a job, you lot. What's going on? 118 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,000 Fucking giggling about? You look like you're fixing to do a job, you lot. What's going on? 119 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:42,120 Big posh school is getting its power cut off tonight for an hour. 120 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,520 No CCTV, no alarms, nothing. 121 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,560 Who's fucking robbing it, you lot? 122 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,200 Thinking about it. 123 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,480 I just... I thought you were bang against all that kind of shit. 124 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:54,000 Thieving, yeah, I am, generally. 125 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,840 Thieving, yeah, I am, generally. 126 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,720 But this is redistribution of wealth. 127 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,640 Yeah, alright, but it's just... 128 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,000 that's an ambitious job, that. Wait till we come back. What for? 129 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:02,200 that's an ambitious job, that. Wait till we come back. What for? 130 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,600 Well, we're professionals thieves, aren't we? (LAUGHTER) 131 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,320 That there is a bit of a stretch, now. 'Professional!' 132 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,000 I just don't want you to get fucking nicked, do you know what I mean? 133 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,280 I just don't want you to get fucking nicked, do you know what I mean? 134 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,800 The reality is you lot are more likely 135 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:17,160 to get in shit camping than we are robbing that place. 136 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,000 How do you figure that out, smiling dickhead? We will see! 137 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,600 How do you figure that out, smiling dickhead? We will see! 138 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,880 Yes, we will see. We will see. Yes, we will see. 139 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,360 We will see. I'll fucking see. I've got one word for you - 140 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,000 Keithy McBride. It's fucking two words! 141 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,520 Keithy McBride. It's fucking two words! 142 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,200 He's a prick. (ALL EXCLAIM) 143 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,400 (HORN HONKS) (ENGINE STARTS) Let's do it, lads. 144 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,840 Fucking hell... Where the fuck's Ashley? (TYRES SCREECH) 145 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,680 CARDI: He's still pooing. 146 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,160 You gotta go where you wanna go 147 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,000 Do what you wanna do 148 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,560 Do what you wanna do 149 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:48,120 You don't understand that it... 150 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,000 (LAUGHTER) 151 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:50,040 (LAUGHTER) 152 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,080 Failure to prepare is preparing to fail. 153 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,640 You mark my words, I'm a man who does not fail. 154 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,880 Is that a Cubs thing, or what? Is it fuck a fucking Cubs thing, Ashley. Cubs... 155 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:58,000 are a bunch of slags and poseurs. A real man sets his own challenges. 156 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,640 are a bunch of slags and poseurs. A real man sets his own challenges. 157 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,600 Didn't you get kicked out of Cubs, Tommo? Yes, he got kicked out. 158 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,000 I left the Cubs of my own accord. 159 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:06,480 I left the Cubs of my own accord. 160 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,080 Yeah. After they told you to fuck clean off, you did. 161 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:13,600 What did they do that for? Fucking pushed Marie Bennett into an electric fence. She went flying. 162 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,000 (LAUGHTER) Anyway, by that point, I'd outgrown the Cubs, thank you. 163 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,240 (LAUGHTER) Anyway, by that point, I'd outgrown the Cubs, thank you. 164 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,920 You didn't outgrow that bloody uniform, did you? 165 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,920 (CHEERING) 166 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:22,000 (RUMBLING AND CLATTERING) Fucking hell! Vin? 167 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,880 (RUMBLING AND CLATTERING) Fucking hell! Vin? 168 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,080 Oh. Fuck my arse. (HISSING) 169 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,000 Right, come on. (YELLS) 170 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:30,600 Right, come on. (YELLS) 171 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,760 Oh. Here we go. 172 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,880 Oi, oi, oi. 173 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,840 The fucking hell's wrong with this now? It'll be the carburettor. 174 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:38,000 It'll be the carb... You don't know about carburettors. I do. 175 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,040 It'll be the carb... You don't know about carburettors. I do. 176 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,280 Come on, JJ, what is it? 177 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,320 What's that? 178 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,680 It's the thing...the... The...The little door. 179 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,000 Fuel tank? Correct, and what does the fuel tank smell of? 180 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,240 Fuel tank? Correct, and what does the fuel tank smell of? 181 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,320 Cars? 182 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,760 Fuel. (STAMMERS) Ah, Petrol! It's petrol. 183 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,000 Correct. It smells of petrol. 184 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,680 Correct. It smells of petrol. 185 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,600 Fuck me, that a diesel engine! 186 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:10,000 Correct answer cos some dickhead has put petrol in inside of it. Argh! 187 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:10,040 Correct answer cos some dickhead has put petrol in inside of it. Argh! 188 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,840 You've fucking ruined that now, you dickend. 189 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:17,600 You put petrol in a diesel van? You said put twenty quid in. Of diesel. 190 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,000 Isn't diesel just a nickname for petrol? What does that even mean?! 191 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,880 Isn't diesel just a nickname for petrol? What does that even mean?! 192 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,080 What's the difference between petrol and diesel? 193 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,240 There's a fucking big difference, Cardi! What? 194 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:26,000 You know... fucking different names and that. 195 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,440 You know... fucking different names and that. 196 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,920 Yeah. Different! Different smell.. Smell different. 197 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,000 They make them perform differently... or in this case, just not at all! 198 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,000 They make them perform differently... or in this case, just not at all! 199 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,480 It's to do with the combustion within the engine. Thank you. 200 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,400 Honestly, stop and go, diesel, petrol. (VAN DOOR CLOSES) 201 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,000 I can't keep up with all these fucking terms! 202 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:42,400 I can't keep up with all these fucking terms! 203 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,840 Right, it's at least four miles back to that petrol station, 204 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,960 then we'll have to wait for a tow truck. However... 205 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,000 if we cut across these fields and up that hill, 206 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,440 we can get to the hiking trail. That leads to Stenner Bluff - 207 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,640 two hours, and we're where we want to be. Oh, my God! 208 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,760 We pick up the van tomorrow. How's about that? Everybody on board? 209 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:58,000 Follow me, dickheads. 210 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,840 Follow me, dickheads. 211 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,240 (SHRIEKS) 212 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,000 Dickhead. Come on. 213 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:06,880 Dickhead. Come on. 214 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,920 (YELPS) 215 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,560 I'm alright! Dickheads. Alright. 216 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,000 (REVERSING BEEPS) CAROL: Oh, Jesus Christ, Cardi. 217 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,680 (REVERSING BEEPS) CAROL: Oh, Jesus Christ, Cardi. 218 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,720 Oh, shite. Fuck. FRANCIS: Carol. Keep going. 219 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,000 Keep fucking going. Jesus Christ. Carol! Carol! 220 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,240 Keep fucking going. Jesus Christ. Carol! Carol! 221 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,040 Roll down the window. Roll it down. 222 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,160 Roll it down. Oh, how's it going? 223 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,000 You see what that idiot boy of yours done? A hearse! A fucking hearse. 224 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,520 You see what that idiot boy of yours done? A hearse! A fucking hearse. 225 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,880 I tell ya, he's gonna need a fucking hearse when I sees him. 226 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,840 Oh, Jesus, no, the situation, so it is, 227 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,000 absolutely devastated, Francis, yeah. Where is he? 228 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:46,120 absolutely devastated, Francis, yeah. Where is he? 229 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,840 Ah, he's off now with the lads, camping - a few pints, you know? 230 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,280 (HORN HONKS) Fucking camping?! He gets to go camping, 231 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,640 and I have to tidy away all this shite? 232 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:54,000 Mm. A stop-go sign. That's all he had to do! 233 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,960 Mm. A stop-go sign. That's all he had to do! 234 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,880 Stop and go. How did he fuck up that so bad? Do you know what, Francis? 235 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,000 How's it even possible? I don't know, but listen to me, now, 236 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:02,360 How's it even possible? I don't know, but listen to me, now, 237 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,560 I think it was all just a bit too much for him, you know? 238 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,400 Come here. Do you want to buy that stop-go sign back off him? 239 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,000 Because I don't think he'll get much use of it now. I'll tell you... 240 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:10,080 Because I don't think he'll get much use of it now. I'll tell you... 241 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,120 I'm gonna shove that stop-go sign 242 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,880 up his fucking hole sideways when I sees him! (HORN HONKS) 243 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,080 Hours behind we are, because of him. Hours! 244 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:18,000 Ask him how far behind exactly. 245 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,160 Ask him how far behind exactly. 246 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,080 In terms of when the power's gonna be shut down, like, 247 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,600 what time will that be now? We've put it back till 8:00pm... 248 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,000 cos of that gaybag. Oh, is that definite? 249 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,360 cos of that gaybag. Oh, is that definite? 250 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,400 Yeah, 8:00pm. And it'll be off for an hour, will it? Aye. 251 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,000 (HORN HONKS) OK, so. Smashing. You mind how you go, won't you? See you. 252 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:34,280 (HORN HONKS) OK, so. Smashing. You mind how you go, won't you? See you. 253 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,760 Who put out the flaming bollards?! (HORN HONKS) 254 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,680 I told you, you lazy sons of bitches! 255 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,000 Fucking... (GROANS) 256 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:42,200 Fucking... (GROANS) 257 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,280 CARDI: Tommo, can you take a turn carrying food for a bit, mate? 258 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,960 TOMMO: No can do, sweetheart. As I've told you before, 259 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,000 I'm a man who sets his own challenges. 260 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:50,720 I'm a man who sets his own challenges. 261 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,680 So I am on a foraging mission, living exclusively off the land. 262 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,960 Take these, for example. VINNIE: Tom. Tommy. 263 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,000 Don't...Don't just eat a random fucking bush, 264 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,640 Don't...Don't just eat a random fucking bush, 265 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:03,160 just cos to prove a point. You know what I mean? Could be anything. That, right, 266 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,680 is what the supermarkets want you to think. Yeah? 267 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:06,000 Nature provides everything we need. These are perfectly harmless, yeah? 268 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:10,120 Nature provides everything we need. These are perfectly harmless, yeah? 269 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,840 But you've been conditioned to think the only things you can eat 270 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,000 are fucking processed shit wrapped in single-use plastic. 271 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,120 are fucking processed shit wrapped in single-use plastic. 272 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,760 Oh, you di... you didn't have to do that. 273 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,000 Do you know what I mean? Just got to go, organic, yeah? 274 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,280 Do you know what I mean? Just got to go, organic, yeah? 275 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,600 Mm. Good, are they? 276 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,400 Erm... They are actually, yeah. 277 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,440 Might have another one. Don't have another. Mate. 278 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,880 You're just trying to prove a point on a random bush. (GUT RUMBLING) 279 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,000 It's even better, that one. How is it better? How have they improved? 280 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,800 It's even better, that one. How is it better? How have they improved? 281 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,000 Just gonna...wash it down. Knock it back with a bit of... 282 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,000 Yeah, knock it down... with a fucking load of cocaine. 283 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:46,360 Yeah, knock it down... with a fucking load of cocaine. 284 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,640 That's what survivalists do! That's how erm... 285 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,960 D-D-D-Dylan! Fuck! 286 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,040 Woo! Woo-hoo! 287 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,000 Dylan, why do you have to fucking whoop like an American? 288 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,040 Dylan, why do you have to fucking whoop like an American? 289 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,120 You're gonna be paranoid in five minutes, 290 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,720 doing everyone's fucking head in. What are you on about? 291 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,000 He is referencing the time when you barricaded yourself 292 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,040 He is referencing the time when you barricaded yourself 293 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,000 into the fucking toilets at Harley's thing. 294 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,480 Are you still on about that? No, there was something... 295 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,000 something up with the gear. The fucking club, man, was intense. 296 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:10,960 something up with the gear. The fucking club, man, was intense. 297 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,280 A club? It were a christening, you fucking idiot! 298 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,520 Was it? Yes, a community centre. Yes, community centre christening. 299 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,000 Fucking...what does it matter? We're out in nature now. Come on! Woo! 300 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,760 Fucking...what does it matter? We're out in nature now. Come on! Woo! 301 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,200 You're gonna be miserable. Don't tell me any of your fucking woes now. 302 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,000 Seriously. 303 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:26,240 Seriously. 304 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,520 (BRAKES SQUEAK) 305 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,720 FRANCIS: Lads, enough fucking daydreaming... 306 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,880 Fox one in position. Over. 307 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,000 Fox two in position. They're about to cut the power. Over. 308 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,240 Fox two in position. They're about to cut the power. Over. 309 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,160 Fox three in position. Over. 310 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,600 Fox three, what's with the pram? Over. 311 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,640 It's my cover. 312 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,000 I'm a foreign au pair working here locally for a very wealthy couple 313 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,200 I'm a foreign au pair working here locally for a very wealthy couple 314 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,080 who've been working away for ten years in Hong Kong. 315 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,120 Ouch! Over. 316 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,000 (PHONE RINGS) 317 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:14,280 (PHONE RINGS) 318 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,480 (VINNIE LAUGHING ON PHONE) A hearse. 319 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,800 That's the funniest thing I've ever fucking heard. You guys. 320 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,000 Fucking hell. How you getting on, love, you alright? 321 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,040 Fucking hell. How you getting on, love, you alright? 322 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,320 You having a good time? Oh it's bloody brilliant fun. Yeah. Yeah. 323 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,080 Yeah. We're having a good 'un. No incidents to report yet? 324 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,000 No, not...not yet anyway. No-one's done anything stupid? 325 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,560 No, not...not yet anyway. No-one's done anything stupid? 326 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,480 No. No Hey, get off. Get off! 327 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,800 (GROANS) Fucking dickhead. Yes. 328 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,000 About nine quid's worth, that. And the van got there alright, did it? 329 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,360 About nine quid's worth, that. And the van got there alright, did it? 330 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,040 Yeah. Ah, that's funny, that, 331 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,000 because JJ texted Sugar saying the van broke down. 332 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,320 because JJ texted Sugar saying the van broke down. 333 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,080 Come on. Come on. Fuck off. (LAUGHS) 334 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,480 He'll be winding her up - you know what he's like. (BEEPS) 335 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,000 Oh, hang on, hang on. 336 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:54,520 Oh, hang on, hang on. 337 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,640 Dylan's just posted a picture of him and Tommo. 338 00:12:57,680 --> 00:13:00,000 'Hashtag camping bros.' 339 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,000 And there seems to be a lot of white powder round their noses. 340 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,680 And there seems to be a lot of white powder round their noses. 341 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,200 (LAUGHS) Dylan on drugs. 342 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,000 You are in for a night of it, you are. Listen, he's not had that much. 343 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:10,920 You are in for a night of it, you are. Listen, he's not had that much. 344 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,600 He'll be fucking fine. Well, I hope you're prepared to babysit. 345 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,040 Because let's be honest, it ain't gonna end well, is it? Oi. 346 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,000 You stop worrying about mine - you just worry about your own job. 347 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:18,880 You stop worrying about mine - you just worry about your own job. 348 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,040 Now, like I said to ya, when things inevitably go wrong, 349 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,840 just do what you can to not to bury anyone alive. 350 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,000 (LAUGHTER) 351 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,400 (LAUGHTER) 352 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,280 That ain't gonna get old, is it? 353 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,840 Alright, well, have fun looking after your coked-up mate 354 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,000 who can't handle his drugs. Bye-bye! 355 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:34,360 who can't handle his drugs. Bye-bye! 356 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,120 Fuck! Fuck! 357 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,000 Dickheads. What's the fucking deal? 358 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,800 Why are you all texting the fucking girl... Shit! 359 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,320 (MECHANICAL WHIRRING STOPS) Power's cut. 360 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,200 Alright, foxes. Let's go. 361 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,760 Go. Go. Go. 362 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,760 (OOHING) 363 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,720 Fuck! 364 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,680 Where the fuck is she? 365 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,120 Ooh. 366 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,760 Jesus, Carol. Where the fuck are ya? 367 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,160 Oh, come on. 368 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,240 We're cutting it fine. Shit! 369 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,000 Where is she? What's she doing? I don't know. I don't - Carol! 370 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,200 Where is she? What's she doing? I don't know. I don't - Carol! 371 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:57,960 Carol! 372 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,680 (DOOR OPENS) 373 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,640 They're fucking triple-quilted, like! 374 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:02,000 Come on, run! ('THE ECSTASY OF GOLD' PLAYS) 375 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,320 Come on, run! ('THE ECSTASY OF GOLD' PLAYS) 376 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,000 I've never felt anything like it in my fucking life, girls. 377 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:10,080 I've never felt anything like it in my fucking life, girls. 378 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,960 (MUSIC STOPS) (BEEPING) No alarm. 379 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,000 No alarm! (CHEERING) 380 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,640 No alarm! (CHEERING) 381 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,440 (SINGS) I'm gonna phone Vinnie. 382 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,720 (SINGS) I'm gonna phone Vinnie. I'm gonna phone Cardi. 383 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,800 I'm gonna phone Cardi. (PHONE RINGS) 384 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:26,000 Oh... What? What? 385 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,000 Oh... What? What? 386 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,520 Oh, shit. VINNIE: (ON PHONE) You alright, love? 387 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,560 Tell me you didn't. Oh, fuck. 388 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,000 I think I dropped it when I was using the toilet. 389 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:34,920 I think I dropped it when I was using the toilet. 390 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,160 No! Fuck sake, Carol! 391 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,800 Yeah, I dropped my phone, I did. I dropped my phone. 392 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,000 (CHIMES) 393 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:42,760 (CHIMES) 394 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,040 Hang on. Can they trace that phone back to you, though? 395 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:50,000 Er... The photo! 396 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000 Er... The photo! 397 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,360 There's a photo of all three of us 398 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,520 posing with the frigging security guard. 399 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,000 Don't be thick, Sugar. Fuck sake. Fuck. 400 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:58,760 Don't be thick, Sugar. Fuck sake. Fuck. 401 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,360 Get me the crowbar. 402 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,480 DYLAN: How do you not know that? 403 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:06,000 Everyone around here knows that. Knows what? 404 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,640 Everyone around here knows that. Knows what? 405 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,800 Knows about the Lawler Hunting Party. What the fuck? 406 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,920 Social media slags. Myspacing and - ASH: Are you serious? 407 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,000 So you're not winding me up? It's a fact, dude. 408 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,040 So you're not winding me up? It's a fact, dude. 409 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,520 It happened in them woods down there. What happened? 410 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,680 The Lawler Hunting Party. CARDI: They all disappeared. 411 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,000 Six people went hunting in them woods down there, and then... 412 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,080 Six people went hunting in them woods down there, and then... 413 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:28,560 vanished into thin air. They found one lad naked and disorientated. 414 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,000 Ashley, sweetheart, don't be getting upset about it. 415 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:30,760 Ashley, sweetheart, don't be getting upset about it. 416 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,200 It's just a fucking wives' tale. It's not, it's a historical fact. 417 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,000 (PHONE BEEPS) There's a display about it in the library. Library. Alright, listen to this, yeah? 418 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:38,160 (PHONE BEEPS) There's a display about it in the library. Library. Alright, listen to this, yeah? 419 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:42,200 Winter of 1927, the group were last seen entering the woods upon the hill. 420 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,880 Villagers reported hearing screams in the night 421 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,000 coming from the vicinity in the weeks that followed. 422 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,160 coming from the vicinity in the weeks that followed. 423 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,240 Two weeks later, on February 12th, 424 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,320 20-year-old apprentice gamekeeper Thomas Dylan... 425 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,000 was found clinging to the branch of an ancient tree 426 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,200 was found clinging to the branch of an ancient tree 427 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,960 in a catatonic state. 428 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,680 Well, we've all been there, haven't we? 429 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,360 Jesus Christ. 430 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,000 He remained that way and was held in an asylum 431 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:02,800 He remained that way and was held in an asylum 432 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,040 until his death in the 1950s! 433 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,000 Isn't this also close enough to where... 434 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,000 Adyan Khan was chased by that pigman? 435 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,920 Adyan Khan was chased by that pigman? 436 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,920 CARDI: What's a pigman? Well, maybe... 437 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,360 It'll be a pig with a man's head, won't it? No, no. 438 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:18,000 It's the body of a man with the head of a pig. 439 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,600 It's the body of a man with the head of a pig. 440 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,840 No, no, no, cos I heard he also had... 441 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,000 the nipples. 442 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:26,880 the nipples. 443 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,960 Dude... Now... Now you see what you do... 444 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000 You've really fucking made him cry there. 445 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,000 This is you, Dylan. Has he had more cocaine, this wanker? 446 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,040 This is you, Dylan. Has he had more cocaine, this wanker? 447 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,440 No. Yeah, he has. Get your fucking shit together right now. 448 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,760 Break time's over. 449 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,000 I'll take the food, man. Oi, stop texting the fucking girls. 450 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,640 I'll take the food, man. Oi, stop texting the fucking girls. 451 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,440 Is it much further? I'm really tired. 452 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,000 As the crow flies, Stenner Bluff is about a mile in that direction. 453 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,280 As the crow flies, Stenner Bluff is about a mile in that direction. 454 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,000 Through them woods? Yes, through them woods. 455 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,880 Are they the woods JJ was talking about with the Hunting Party and that? 456 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,000 Oh, no, that's a classic horror film mistake that, lads. 457 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,760 Oh, no, that's a classic horror film mistake that, lads. 458 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,320 Yeah, guys, wait. We can't be taking the piss out of them woods. 459 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:04,760 Listen, we just got to stick to the straight paths. 460 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,000 No-one is taking the piss out of the fucking woods. 461 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,200 No-one is taking the piss out of the fucking woods. 462 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,480 We're supposed to be having a good time, boys. Right. 463 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,560 All those who are not gonna shit their pants in the fucking woods, 464 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:14,000 follow me. They're just woods. They're just woods. 465 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,120 follow me. They're just woods. They're just woods. 466 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,160 (EERIE MUSIC) 467 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:23,840 Come on. 468 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,240 (BIRD CAWS) 469 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:30,000 Tom? You look like shit, dude. Are you alright? 470 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,360 Tom? You look like shit, dude. Are you alright? 471 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,160 No, no, no. I am absolutely fine, thank you. 472 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,000 (GROWLING) Tom? Hey. Shh, shh. 473 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:38,560 (GROWLING) Tom? Hey. Shh, shh. 474 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,280 Did you hear that? What? 475 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,880 Exactly. It's like the whole place is dead... 476 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:46,000 like a tomb. No, don't... Please. Don't, man. 477 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,560 like a tomb. No, don't... Please. Don't, man. 478 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,360 Hey. Hey. Hey! Do you hear that? 479 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,400 Yeah. 480 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:54,000 It's like whispers in the trees or something. Whispering trees? 481 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,720 It's like whispers in the trees or something. Whispering trees? 482 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,000 Did you not hear it? No, no, I think I did that time. Yeah, no. 483 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,000 I heard it. It were like whispers, weren't it, Dyl? Dyldo! Oi! 484 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,400 I heard it. It were like whispers, weren't it, Dyl? Dyldo! Oi! 485 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:08,480 Are you fucking frightening all them lads? You know Ashley's sensitive with paranoid bullshit. 486 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,000 DYLAN: It's alright. Sorry. Fuck. 487 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:10,520 DYLAN: It's alright. Sorry. Fuck. 488 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,520 Does my head in. Tom? 489 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:20,120 Dyl? (YELPS) Huh? 490 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,480 You alright? Yeah. How many nipples does a male pig have? 491 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,840 What? (TOMMO FARTS) 492 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,560 Oh, gross, dude. Tommy, 'fess up. You've got diarrhoea, bruv. 493 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,000 Have I fuck. I'm foraging, aren't I? You are not foraging. 494 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,200 Have I fuck. I'm foraging, aren't I? You are not foraging. 495 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,560 You had all them fucking berries we begged you not to eat. 496 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,160 Now you've poisoned yourself. You've got terrible diarrhoea! 497 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,000 (STAMMERS) No, I haven't. I'm forag...ah! (FARTS) 498 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,800 (STAMMERS) No, I haven't. I'm forag...ah! (FARTS) 499 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:47,080 Ooh. I'm telling you, I saw something. Oi! 500 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,200 It was a robed figure. 501 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,000 What are them twats doing? 502 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000 What are them twats doing? 503 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,560 (FARTS) Oh, God. (GRUNTS) 504 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,320 (SQUELCHING) Ooh. 505 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:58,000 (BIRD CAWS) 506 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,360 (BIRD CAWS) 507 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,000 (CHIMES) 508 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,240 (CHIMES) 509 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,200 SUGAR: Ow. Watch out. ERIN: Shh. Quiet. 510 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,920 It's not me - Carol keeps sticking her arse in my face. 511 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,000 I think you'll find it's you sticking your face in my arse. 512 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:22,280 I think you'll find it's you sticking your face in my arse. 513 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,560 (CLANGING) It's your own fault, Carol. Argh! 514 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,600 (CLATTERING) Fuck! 515 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,720 Now, how much longer are we gonna be trekking on like knobheads for? 516 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:30,000 I dunno how that map's helping you. Vinnie. Vinnie. 517 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,960 I dunno how that map's helping you. Vinnie. Vinnie. 518 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,080 It is very complicated, right? I have to triangulate stars... 519 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,960 Well, what's the compass for, so? The compass, thank you for asking, 520 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,520 is for finding the sun and stars and that, in't it? 521 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,680 (SNIFFS) Fuck off, you dickhead! 522 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,560 Dude... Dyl. Yeah. 523 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,000 ASH: What was the name of that lad you said they found 524 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,160 ASH: What was the name of that lad you said they found 525 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,000 'clinging to the branches of an ancient tree'? 526 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,480 Thomas Dylan. JJ: Thomas Dylan! Oh, my God! 527 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:54,000 This could be the actual tree where they found him! 528 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,320 This could be the actual tree where they found him! 529 00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:59,520 It's definitely the tree. (GROANS) (EERIE MUSIC) 530 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,760 (MUSIC STOPS) Don't wind each other. It's just a tree. 531 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:02,000 Dude! Argh! What you doing? 532 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,960 Dude! Argh! What you doing? 533 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,040 What's it look like I'm doing? I'm having a slash. 534 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,120 Tommo, you mustn't piss on magic. 535 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,000 Cos some lad wanked himself into a coma in it hundred years ago? 536 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:10,720 Cos some lad wanked himself into a coma in it hundred years ago? 537 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,400 Oh, I'm very scared. Ooh! 538 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,960 I'm fucking shitting myself. (FARTS) 539 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,000 (THUNDER RUMBLES) 540 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,000 (THUNDER RUMBLES) 541 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,640 (CAWS) Nice one, Tommo. 542 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,400 You probably just put a fucking curse on all of us! 543 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,000 So will you please just get us out of here? 544 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:26,680 So will you please just get us out of here? 545 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,400 DYLAN: What the fuck is this? 546 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,120 What is that? This is a map of North Korea! 547 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,640 Thomas?! No. No. No. Hang on. Hang on. 548 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:34,000 Before you get upset, right, I... 549 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,680 Before you get upset, right, I... 550 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:40,320 ..I had to set myself a personal challenge. What the fuck? 551 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,000 A personal challenge to survive in the wilderness... 552 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,440 A personal challenge to survive in the wilderness... 553 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:49,680 ..without any provisions or the assistance of a map. 554 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:50,000 Oh, Jesus. Oh. What the fuck! 555 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,880 Oh, Jesus. Oh. What the fuck! 556 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,520 (CLAMOURING AND YELLING) Hey. Hey. Hey. Behave yourselves. 557 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,000 You have led us in the middle of this flipping murder forest 558 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:58,160 You have led us in the middle of this flipping murder forest 559 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,800 with no idea of where we are going or how we're gonna fucking get out! I've got an idea. 560 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,640 (LAUGHS) Don't you worry, sweetheart, because... 561 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,000 we must follow the compass. Ha ha! 562 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:06,960 we must follow the compass. Ha ha! 563 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:11,560 Navigationally, we must continue in that direction. (LAUGHS) 564 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,880 Follow me! (GUT RUMBLES) 565 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,040 Come here, Shiticus Maximus Decimus Meridius 566 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,000 with your fucking map of North Korea. 567 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,200 with your fucking map of North Korea. 568 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,840 Absolute worst day out ever. DYLAN: Should have put me in charge. 569 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,760 Why has he got a map of North Korea? 570 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,120 If you go down in the woods today 571 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,720 You're sure of a big surprise 572 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:38,000 If you go down in the woods today 573 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,800 If you go down in the woods today 574 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,360 You'd better go in disguise 575 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,920 For every bear that ever there was 576 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:46,000 Will gather there For certain because... 577 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,600 Will gather there For certain because... 578 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,840 You are so bad-tempered dude. 579 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,000 You are bad tempered! No, you. Settle down. 580 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:54,280 You are bad tempered! No, you. Settle down. 581 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,240 Wanker. 582 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,960 Not long now, lads, we'll be out of these woods. 583 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,960 Hang on a minute, man. We've defin... We've been here. 584 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,880 Without question, we've been here. No, no, no. 585 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:18,000 All terrain looks similar to the untrained eye. 586 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,120 All terrain looks similar to the untrained eye. 587 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,960 Oh, fuck me, it's one of Tommo's coke bags. No, no, no, no. 588 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,200 That's not one of my... It's not one of my coke bags, no! 589 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:26,000 It says Dylan on the fucking tree! 590 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,320 It says Dylan on the fucking tree! 591 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:30,480 Oh, my God, we've been going round in circles, Thomas! 592 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,480 It's a different tree. It's got to be! 593 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,000 We've been going in a straight line. It's got to be a different tree. It's the same one, you clown. 594 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,360 We've been going in a straight line. It's got to be a different tree. It's the same one, you clown. 595 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,640 It's called us back. It's cursed! 596 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,000 It's not fucking cursed, Dylan. It's a fucking tree. Fuck you, Tommo. 597 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:42,920 It's not fucking cursed, Dylan. It's a fucking tree. Fuck you, Tommo. 598 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,240 You've fucking lied to us, now we're gonna die here! I don't like this. 599 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:49,880 JJ: I knew I shouldn't have come, dickhead. Lads, lads. Lads. 600 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:50,000 (THUNDER RUMBLES) We may perhaps... 601 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,120 (THUNDER RUMBLES) We may perhaps... 602 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:56,240 have found ourselves in a little bit of a tight spot. 603 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,000 But now is not the time... to dissolve into petty bickering 604 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,960 But now is not the time... to dissolve into petty bickering 605 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,400 about who may or may not be to blame. 606 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,880 No-one's bickering - we all agree you're to blame. You. 607 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,000 Without question. It's like that, is it? 608 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:06,800 Without question. It's like that, is it? 609 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,400 Well, how's about this for an idea, then? Find your own fucking way out. 610 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,760 Yeah? Anyone who wants to survive these woods, follow me. 611 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,720 (BIRD CAWS) Tom. Don't sulk off, man. 612 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,440 Fuck yourself, mate! Oh, Christ. Thomas! 613 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,000 Let him go. Wanker. 614 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:22,480 Let him go. Wanker. 615 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,960 Come on. Oi. Get away from the tree, come on. (THUNDER RUMBLES) 616 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,000 Tom? Tom? 617 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:30,240 Tom? Tom? 618 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,880 Oh, fuck! Where'd he go? 619 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,200 CARDI: He's just vanished. Fuck. 620 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:38,000 Vinnie... I think we should just pitch camp here for the night. 621 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,720 Vinnie... I think we should just pitch camp here for the night. 622 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,920 Right? Get a fire going. Set out first light. (ALL GROAN) 623 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,760 Let's just face facts here for a minute. 624 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:46,000 We're just a little bit lost in the woods here, lads. 625 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,120 We're just a little bit lost in the woods here, lads. 626 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:54,000 We're lost in the woods. Jesus Christ. Help us! 627 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:54,240 We're lost in the woods. Jesus Christ. Help us! 628 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,960 Help! Argh! Help us right now. 629 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,200 (YELLING) 630 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,080 Oi! You. Give over. You did this. 631 00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:08,080 Sit down for a fucking minute, will you? Have a minute! 632 00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:10,000 Sit down! Convalesce. Now... 633 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,080 Sit down! Convalesce. Now... 634 00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:15,240 Dude, we cannot stay here, in these woods, at night. Why not? 635 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,000 Fuck this. Call the woodland police, tell them to come and get us. 636 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:18,280 Fuck this. Call the woodland police, tell them to come and get us. 637 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,280 Now, hang on a minute, that is a good idea. Try and find the number 638 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,360 for the woodland po... That's not a fucking thing. I'm phoning Carol. 639 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,000 How would the po - I'm phoning Carol! Don't... 640 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:26,520 How would the po - I'm phoning Carol! Don't... 641 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,080 Tell her we're having a good time. Tell her. No fucking signal. 642 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:31,680 JJ: Oh, my God. (CHIMING) I ain't got no signal either. 643 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,000 I've got no fucking signal. Well, that's the idea. I burnt my eyebrow. 644 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:34,960 I've got no fucking signal. Well, that's the idea. I burnt my eyebrow. 645 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,120 He's burnt his eyebrow. Just fucking chill out, man, for fuck sake. 646 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,000 Can we all just calm the fuck down? 647 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:42,120 Can we all just calm the fuck down? 648 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,960 (GRATE CLATTERS) 649 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,000 Right, Sugar, you stay up here in case we need pulling up, yeah? OK. 650 00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,360 Right, Sugar, you stay up here in case we need pulling up, yeah? OK. 651 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,680 Are you calling it? Yes, Carol, I'm calling it, yeah. 652 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,360 I'll go check the jacks. Yes. Quick. Quick. Quick. 653 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:06,000 (CLATTERING) Fucking hell. 654 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,640 (CLATTERING) Fucking hell. 655 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,600 I am gonna check over there. 656 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,400 (GASPS) 657 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,760 (BEEPING) 658 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,680 (BEEPS) 659 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,000 (RAPID BEEPS) 660 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,880 (RAPID BEEPS) 661 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,880 Oh, shit. Motion sensor. 662 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,400 Don't move. 663 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,080 DYLAN: Hey, hey, hey! I've seen things in them woods. 664 00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:38,000 What things? Hidden figures. Figures in the trees. Figures in robes. 665 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:38,360 What things? Hidden figures. Figures in the trees. Figures in robes. 666 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,960 Masks. Figures. (MOUTHING) 667 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,760 They're dressed like monks. (SIGHS) Monkeys in masks! 668 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,000 (GROANS) (CRASHING) 669 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:46,120 (GROANS) (CRASHING) 670 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,280 Oh, fuck! What the hell was that? 671 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,600 Sounded like a tree falling over. Dude, trees don't just fall over. 672 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,000 Absolutely, they do. It's a very tree-ish thing... 673 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,800 Absolutely, they do. It's a very tree-ish thing... 674 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,120 to do, actually. What could make a tree fall over? 675 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,000 A bunch of monks! Fuck me, that's it. Shut the fuck up! 676 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:02,320 A bunch of monks! Fuck me, that's it. Shut the fuck up! 677 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:04,400 You're frightening the shit out of each other. 678 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,640 There aren't fucking monks... 679 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,920 pushing over trees! There's no curse. 680 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:10,000 There's definitely not a man with the head of a pig 681 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,240 There's definitely not a man with the head of a pig 682 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:16,320 and fucking giant nips. It's just us and a load of fucking trees. 683 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,000 And don't text the fucking girls. 684 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:18,880 And don't text the fucking girls. 685 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,360 Stop trying. If they find out we're having a shit time, 686 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,400 I lose the fucking thing with Erin. 687 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:30,640 Where are you going?! I'm going finding the phantom shitter! 688 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,480 Fucking out here somewhere. Frodo! 689 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:34,000 Who? JJ: Shit. Vin. 690 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,160 Who? JJ: Shit. Vin. 691 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,400 What the fuck is happening with him today? 692 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,360 This is a bit like Squid Game, in't it, Erin? 693 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,400 Jesus. 694 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:50,000 Sugar, I need to move. I'm getting cramp. 695 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,240 Sugar, I need to move. I'm getting cramp. 696 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:58,000 OK. Just move very, very gradually 697 00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:58,320 OK. Just move very, very gradually 698 00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:00,400 so they won't register you. 699 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:02,920 (SOFTLY) OK. 700 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,400 (GRUNTS) 701 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,480 VINNIE: Thomas?! Thomas! 702 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,920 Tom?! Tommy?! 703 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,960 Come on, dude. 704 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,000 Fuck! 705 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:22,280 Fuck! 706 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,840 Tom? Tom, I'm serious, man. 707 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,920 Come on, stop fucking around, dude. It's pitch black. 708 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:30,000 Tom? 709 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:30,960 Tom? 710 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,840 Dude, come on, stop fucking about, you f... 711 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,880 (SCREAMS) 712 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:47,920 (SCREAMS) 713 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,960 (GRUNTS) 714 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,160 (GRUNTS) 715 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,880 Oh, thank fuck. 716 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:02,000 Keep going, you're getting closer. That's it, you are nearly here. 717 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,760 Keep going, you're getting closer. That's it, you are nearly here. 718 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:10,000 (FOOTSTEPS CREAK GENTLY) 719 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,800 (FOOTSTEPS CREAK GENTLY) 720 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,840 Keep coming. 721 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,000 (DOOR BANGS) It was only on the floor of the jacks! 722 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:18,920 (DOOR BANGS) It was only on the floor of the jacks! 723 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,320 (ALARM WAILS) Shit! 724 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,440 Fucking hell! Come on. 725 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,120 (GRUNTING) 726 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,160 (GRUNTS) (DOOR OPENS) 727 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:34,000 Bloody thing. (ALARM STOPS) (BEEPS) 728 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,320 Bloody thing. (ALARM STOPS) (BEEPS) 729 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,400 (CHIMES) Behave yourself. 730 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,720 You're hurting me hole. (YELLS) 731 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,480 (GRUNTING) Oh, fuck! Jesus Christ. 732 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,000 Oh, fuck. Fucking hell. Thomas?! 733 00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,240 Oh, fuck. Fucking hell. Thomas?! 734 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,760 I put a spell on you... 735 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,680 Christ... 736 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,000 managed to shite his own pants off. Impressive! 737 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,560 managed to shite his own pants off. Impressive! 738 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,320 Because you're mine 739 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,640 Stop the things you do... 740 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,000 Alright, there we are. (EXHALES) 741 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:22,440 Alright, there we are. (EXHALES) 742 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,600 (CACKLES) What's up? 743 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,880 I ain't lying... 744 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,640 Oh, fuck! Shit! 745 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,160 (RUSTLING, THUDDING) Oh! Ow! 746 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,200 Oh, yeah! 747 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,480 (GENTLE CRACKING) 748 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,000 (TWIGS SNAPPING GENTLY) 749 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:54,640 (TWIGS SNAPPING GENTLY) 750 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,120 You don't have to skulk out there. 751 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,000 Come, take a seat if you like. 752 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:05,400 Sorry. 753 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,680 I didn't... I just didn't want to make you jump. 754 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,000 I er...gone camping with my dickhead mates, ended up... 755 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:10,640 I er...gone camping with my dickhead mates, ended up... 756 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,360 getting a bit lost myself, so... Aren't we all? 757 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:18,000 Have a seat. Oh, thanks ever so much, man. You are a bloody angel. 758 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:18,200 Have a seat. Oh, thanks ever so much, man. You are a bloody angel. 759 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,240 (SIGHS) 760 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,880 Go on, Tommo. Here you go. Pull yourself together, lad. 761 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:25,960 You're a big boy. It's just nature. 762 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:30,120 Trees, more trees, leaves... 763 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,000 and mulch. Nothing weird about that whatso...uh. 764 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:34,320 and mulch. Nothing weird about that whatso...uh. 765 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,400 ('DIES IRAE' PLAYS) 766 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:40,840 Fuck. 767 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,960 (GASPS) (FARTS) 768 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,000 JJ: Maybe what you saw wasn't a monk. OK? 769 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:50,480 JJ: Maybe what you saw wasn't a monk. OK? 770 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,400 What else could it be? I dunno. A nun? 771 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,000 Dyl? The monk... 772 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,320 Dyl? The monk... 773 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,400 did he have any friends with him? Eh? 774 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,440 Were they carrying torches? Eh? 775 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,000 Fuck! (ALL CLAMOURING) 776 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:06,800 Fuck! (ALL CLAMOURING) 777 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,320 ASH: Don't leave me! It's fucking monks! 778 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,920 I'm just... 779 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:20,360 I don't think I'm good at being around people is all, you know? 780 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,520 I know it sounds fucking daft. 781 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,000 Let me see if I've got this right. 782 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,080 Let me see if I've got this right. 783 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,280 You find it hard being around people... 784 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,560 ..so you go off and live in the woods. 785 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:38,000 But living alone makes you feel lonely. 786 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,960 But living alone makes you feel lonely. 787 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,840 So you try and dip your toe back in every once in a while... 788 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,000 ..do normal things normal people do. 789 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,040 ..do normal things normal people do. 790 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,560 But doing these things make you feel like an imposter. 791 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,520 It makes you miserable. 792 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:54,000 That about right? 793 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,240 That about right? 794 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,000 Yeah. 795 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,640 Hmm. Well, you're wrong. 796 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:02,000 Eh? You're wrong. 797 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,240 Eh? You're wrong. 798 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,440 Your thinking's off. Is it? 799 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:10,000 Yeah. You're comparing yourself to people who you don't want to be. 800 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:10,360 Yeah. You're comparing yourself to people who you don't want to be. 801 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,400 Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 802 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,720 Fucking hell, yeah. I do that. 803 00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,560 But that doesn't make you weird. 804 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:18,000 What it makes you... 805 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,440 What it makes you... 806 00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,320 ..is a success. 807 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,000 Because it makes you the master of your own destiny, man, like me. 808 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,120 Because it makes you the master of your own destiny, man, like me. 809 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,440 You and me, we're not like the rest of the trees in the forest. 810 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,000 We're...beautiful anomalies of nature... 811 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,480 We're...beautiful anomalies of nature... 812 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:41,240 ..like them trees you see growing out the side of some chimney 813 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:42,000 on a derelict factory - despite all the damage. 814 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,240 on a derelict factory - despite all the damage. 815 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,200 How you are... 816 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:50,000 is not some sort of handicap. It's a gift. 817 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,720 is not some sort of handicap. It's a gift. 818 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,760 Don't waste your life... 819 00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:58,000 caring what other people think about you. 820 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,920 caring what other people think about you. 821 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,600 The only thing that matters... 822 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,000 ..is being honest with yourself. 823 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,080 ..is being honest with yourself. 824 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,840 Knowing you are a decent human being. 825 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:14,000 I fucking really needed that. (SOBS) 826 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,680 I fucking really needed that. (SOBS) 827 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,000 Oh, sorry. 828 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:22,680 Oh, sorry. 829 00:34:24,240 --> 00:34:26,240 Right. (CLEARS THROAT) 830 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,360 Better go and find them knobheads, eh? 831 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,000 Pleasure to meet you, Vincent. On you go. 832 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,880 Pleasure to meet you, Vincent. On you go. 833 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,920 Don't be a stranger. 834 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,080 ERIN: Quick. Quick. 835 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,160 Here. SUGAR: I'm up. I'm up. 836 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,200 Oh, fuck! Argh! 837 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,000 GUARD: What the bloody hell was that? Come on, quick! 838 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:02,320 GUARD: What the bloody hell was that? Come on, quick! 839 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:10,000 (SWITCH CLICKING) 840 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:11,080 (SWITCH CLICKING) 841 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:14,480 (BEEPING) 842 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,720 Bloody hell. 843 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:18,000 (SIGHS) 844 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,400 (SIGHS) 845 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,440 CAROL: I knew this was a bad idea. 846 00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,480 It was your fucking idea. 847 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,000 The last lot who tried to rob this place got 18 months. 848 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,200 The last lot who tried to rob this place got 18 months. 849 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:30,720 It's classed as a charity here. 850 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,000 Judges take a very dim view of people who rob charities. 851 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:34,920 Judges take a very dim view of people who rob charities. 852 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,680 However... 853 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:42,000 an all-female crew. 854 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:42,040 an all-female crew. 855 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,360 To be honest, 856 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,640 I think it's way overdue if you ask me. 857 00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:50,000 You know, I'm a big fan of women. 858 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:50,080 You know, I'm a big fan of women. 859 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,880 And feminists. All of that. Got all the hashtags. 860 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,760 Look, you give it a bloody good go, 861 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,000 you should be really proud of yourselves. 862 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:58,680 you should be really proud of yourselves. 863 00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:02,360 I don't want this to put you off trying anything like this again in the future. 864 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,520 However, I need you put everything back... 865 00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:06,000 just as you found it. But I need you to do it in the next five minutes, 866 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,240 just as you found it. But I need you to do it in the next five minutes, 867 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,240 or I'm calling the cops. Chop chop. 868 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,000 Fuck sake. 869 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:14,560 Fuck sake. 870 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,480 (OWL HOOTS) Shit. 871 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,960 Shit! Fuck me. 872 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:22,000 Tom? 873 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,840 Tom? 874 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:28,680 Tom? Thomas? T... 875 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000 TOMMO: Vincent? 876 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,440 Thomas. 877 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,000 Are you alright? 878 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,320 Are you alright? 879 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,000 No, I'm not alright. 880 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,080 There's monks after me, and... 881 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,000 I did, in fact, I have terrible diarrhoea. 882 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:46,440 I did, in fact, I have terrible diarrhoea. 883 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,480 Can I borrow your joggers? 884 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,680 Listen to me. Yeah. You've eaten a load of poisonous berries. Yeah. 885 00:36:52,720 --> 00:36:54,000 Done too much cocaine. You've ended up... 886 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:54,840 Done too much cocaine. You've ended up... 887 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,640 fucking shitting yourself senseless, you daft cunt. 888 00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:59,280 Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. 889 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,560 Robed figures in the middle of the fucking woods. Jesu- 890 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:02,000 Oh, fucking shit! Get the fuck down. Get down! 891 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,440 Oh, fucking shit! Get the fuck down. Get down! 892 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,920 (GRUNTING) 893 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,960 Torch. Torch, dude! 894 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,000 Oh, shit. Mind. 895 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,000 Now do you believe me? 896 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,040 Now do you believe me? 897 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,680 Yes, I do. We need to get the fuck out of here. 898 00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:24,720 Oh, shit! Woodlice. 899 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,000 ALL: (CHANTING) Brotherhood of the Hood. Brotherhood of the Hood. 900 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,840 ALL: (CHANTING) Brotherhood of the Hood. Brotherhood of the Hood. 901 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:32,360 Brotherhood of the Hood. Brotherhood of the Hood. 902 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,000 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 903 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:34,400 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 904 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,400 Shh. Quiet. 905 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,000 DYLAN: Jesus Christ. ASH: Lads, what the fuck is that?! 906 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:42,160 DYLAN: Jesus Christ. ASH: Lads, what the fuck is that?! 907 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,600 Fuck sake. Dude. 908 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,000 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 909 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:50,920 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 910 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:52,960 Holy shit. 911 00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:58,000 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 912 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:58,160 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 913 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,800 Dude, what are they doing with that guy? 914 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,680 They're putting him in... They're gonna fucking set fire... They're gonna sacrifice that man. 915 00:38:04,720 --> 00:38:06,000 Right now. Listen to me. I have to help. Vinnie. 916 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,280 Right now. Listen to me. I have to help. Vinnie. 917 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:09,680 I'm right behind ya. Right on my back. 918 00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:11,720 I love you, man. 919 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:13,800 Right, let's go. Let's do it. 920 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:14,000 ALL: (CHANTING) Brotherhood of the Hood. Brotherhood of the Hood. 921 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,200 ALL: (CHANTING) Brotherhood of the Hood. Brotherhood of the Hood. 922 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,720 (YELLS) Oi. Oi. Oi. Stop it. Stop what you're doing! 923 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,000 Argh, you fuckers. Oi. Oi. Oi. Stop it. Stop what you're doing. 924 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,600 Argh, you fuckers. Oi. Oi. Oi. Stop it. Stop what you're doing. 925 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,840 Stop what you are fucking doing right now. (WHIMPERS) 926 00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,520 Someone just check on that guy there. I'm worried about him. 927 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,000 What the fuck! 928 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:30,760 What the fuck! 929 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,040 Tommo! You were supposed to come down with me, man. 930 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,680 Sorry. Lost me confidence. 931 00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:37,720 BEASTIE BOYS: Sabotage 932 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:38,000 Dyl! 933 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,440 Dyl! 934 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,680 Shit! (GRUNTING) 935 00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:46,000 Dylan! Dylan, settle down a little bit. You've had too much cocaine. 936 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,080 Dylan! Dylan, settle down a little bit. You've had too much cocaine. 937 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,840 Where are your trousers? I had to give 'em to Tom - he shat himself. 938 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,160 Now, everyone, just fucking back off. 939 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,000 It's alright, lad. Back off, fucker. 940 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,120 It's alright, lad. Back off, fucker. 941 00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,560 It's alright. It's alright, lad. 942 00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,600 MAN: What's happening? It's alright. 943 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,520 You're safe now. 944 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:02,000 Who are you? What do you mean? We're fucking here to save ya. 945 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,280 Who are you? What do you mean? We're fucking here to save ya. 946 00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,680 Get you away from all these fuckwits. Yeah, what for? 947 00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:09,400 What do you mean, 'What for'? Is this still part of it? 948 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:10,000 Part of fucking what? The ceremony? 949 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:11,840 Part of fucking what? The ceremony? 950 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:16,400 No! We are rescuers. We've come to rescue you. 951 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,000 MAN: The non-believers have broken the Brotherhood's sacred circle! 952 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,400 MAN: The non-believers have broken the Brotherhood's sacred circle! 953 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,640 They must not... That's Shirley. ALL: Shirley? Shirley! 954 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,960 No... No, I know not of who you speak. 955 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,000 JIM: It fucking well is him! 956 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,000 JIM: It fucking well is him! 957 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,000 Why wouldn't Jimbo be here as well? 958 00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:32,080 I'm filming it all. I told you I'd expose you, didn't I? 959 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,000 You bunch of fucking nonces. 960 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:34,160 You bunch of fucking nonces. 961 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,920 You can shove that camera up your arse, you. Fuck me, that's Bishop. 962 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:40,200 Just a bit of fun! Bit of fun? Like burning people in the woods? 963 00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:42,000 We're not burning anybody? No! It's more of a ceremonial thing. 964 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,360 We're not burning anybody? No! It's more of a ceremonial thing. 965 00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,120 It was. What the fuck is going on? Jimbo! 966 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,640 The Brotherhood of the Hood. 967 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,000 ALL: (CHANTING) Brotherhood of the hood. Brotherhood of the hood. 968 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,080 ALL: (CHANTING) Brotherhood of the hood. Brotherhood of the hood. 969 00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:55,040 The Broth...Broth... What? Yeah, I know, it's a shit name, 970 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,000 for a shit so-called secret society full of local fucking nutters. 971 00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:58,840 for a shit so-called secret society full of local fucking nutters. 972 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,640 Businessmen. And women... and non-binary individuals. 973 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,960 MAN: We're very progressive! Yes, and women and non-binary individuals 974 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,840 who enjoy the iconography of the occult, 975 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,720 but also have a shared interest in Hawley's local business community. 976 00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,000 Captains of industry in the greater Hawley area is how I'd describe us - 977 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:15,120 Captains of industry in the greater Hawley area is how I'd describe us - 978 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,160 not that we're allowed to tell anyone, 979 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,640 being a secret society and all. (LAUGHTER) 980 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,000 So it's Masons who can't get into Masons? 981 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,000 So it's Masons who can't get into Masons? 982 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,200 MAN: No. Nothing like the Masons. Perverts, the lot of them. Ah, yeah. 983 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:30,000 But cramming weird nymph-men into fucking wicker yoga balls... 984 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,000 But cramming weird nymph-men into fucking wicker yoga balls... 985 00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,840 It's supposed to be an egg. It's not an egg, is it? It's perfectly round. 986 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:38,000 Graham was in charge of weaving that. Well, I'm not a professional weaver, am I? 987 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:38,080 Graham was in charge of weaving that. Well, I'm not a professional weaver, am I? 988 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,760 I'm a patissier. Eight months that took. 989 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:43,680 And not one of you said, 'Well done, Graham, great job'. 990 00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:45,600 ALL: (MURMURING) Well done, Graham. 991 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:46,000 Hang on. Right, so am I in or not, then? 992 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,000 Hang on. Right, so am I in or not, then? 993 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,800 No, Geoff. Unfortunately, the circle has been broken, 994 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,600 which means that you must be forsaken by the Brotherhood 995 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:54,000 and can never subsequently be inducted. 996 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,840 and can never subsequently be inducted. 997 00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:59,000 Fucking bollocks, that is. This is exactly what you wanted, 998 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,320 isn't it Graham? He's been trying to stop me from joining 999 00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:02,000 ever since I opened a sandwich shop next to his cake shop. 1000 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,680 ever since I opened a sandwich shop next to his cake shop. 1001 00:41:03,720 --> 00:41:06,920 It's a patisserie, thank you very much. I don't know what you're talking about. 1002 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,000 Yeah, you tell 'em, Geoff. These lot have been ripping the piss out of you. 1003 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:10,480 Yeah, you tell 'em, Geoff. These lot have been ripping the piss out of you. 1004 00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,840 'Half-eaten yogurt,' one of 'em called ya. 1005 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,240 One of 'em said you looked like an anorexic sperm 1006 00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:17,200 trying to fertilise a fucking wicker egg. 1007 00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:18,000 Fuck this for a game of soldiers. Ash, come on, get your shit together. 1008 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,080 Fuck this for a game of soldiers. Ash, come on, get your shit together. 1009 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:24,360 Hey, bit of a disappointment in the woods tonight, weren't it, eh, lads? 1010 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,000 You caused all this, you. What were you doing in the woods with a camera anyway, you perv? 1011 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,040 You caused all this, you. What were you doing in the woods with a camera anyway, you perv? 1012 00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:31,440 Masons wouldn't have ya. Amateurs. Go bum a cow, Farmer Giles. 1013 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,000 Hey, are we alright, lads? Come on, give us a smile. 1014 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:34,120 Hey, are we alright, lads? Come on, give us a smile. 1015 00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:36,160 You're on telly. Here we go. 1016 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,040 We'll get back to you in due course if your application's successful. 1017 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,000 Take that dick off your head and fuck off. Fucking hell, calm down. 1018 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:42,360 Take that dick off your head and fuck off. Fucking hell, calm down. 1019 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,760 Jim, leave Shirley's cult alone now. 1020 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,200 Fuck off home. Hey, I'm documenting these cults. 1021 00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:50,000 (SOFTLY) Knobhead. 1022 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:50,840 (SOFTLY) Knobhead. 1023 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,280 ERIN: Give it a shove. Come on. 1024 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,840 (PHONE RINGS) 1025 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,760 How did you get on? VINNIE: (OVER PHONE) Honestly... 1026 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:06,000 from start to finish, it's just been such good fun. 1027 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,640 from start to finish, it's just been such good fun. 1028 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,320 We never just...never get time to chill out a bit. 1029 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,400 We're always on the move doing a fucking job, you know? 1030 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:14,000 Geoff? What are you doing, Geoff? 1031 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,720 Geoff? What are you doing, Geoff? 1032 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,200 GRAHAM: Hey, get away from that egg. GEOFF: I told you. 1033 00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:21,080 I warned you, didn't I? You bunch of shithouses. 1034 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,000 (YELLING AND CLAMOURING) Geoff, come on, son! 1035 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,600 (YELLING AND CLAMOURING) Geoff, come on, son! 1036 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:27,800 Fuck you, Graham, fuck you and your pretentious fucking patisserie. 1037 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,000 You're a fucking baker in a cake shop. That's all you are! 1038 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:31,240 You're a fucking baker in a cake shop. That's all you are! 1039 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,000 Get back to your sandwiches, you fucking moron! 1040 00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:36,040 Did you hear any of that shit? Yeah. 1041 00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,000 It's been fucking awful. Like... 1042 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:38,280 It's been fucking awful. Like... 1043 00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,640 the worst fucking night, I swear to God... Hey, hey! 1044 00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,560 I've had an epiphany, though. 1045 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,640 I realise I've just gotta stop... 1046 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:46,000 I've gotta try and stop giving a shit what people fucking think of me. 1047 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,960 I've gotta try and stop giving a shit what people fucking think of me. 1048 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,480 I'm just... I am, I'm just a shouty... 1049 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,400 shouty nightmare. (LAUGHS) 1050 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:54,000 Intense, frustrated twat of a man. 1051 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,840 Intense, frustrated twat of a man. 1052 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,800 But I'm lucky. You know, I've been blessed with this group of mates. 1053 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,000 I mean, I'm looking at 'em now. Fuck me, they're useless. 1054 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:02,120 I mean, I'm looking at 'em now. Fuck me, they're useless. 1055 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,640 Tommo ate berries and shat himself. 1056 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,800 (LAUGHS) 1057 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,920 CAROL: ..happiest hole in fucking England, there. 1058 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,000 Oh, just beautiful. (LAUGHS) 1059 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,720 Oh, just beautiful. (LAUGHS) 1060 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,480 I wouldn't change it for the world, you know? 1061 00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:18,000 Yeah, I hear what you're saying. 1062 00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,040 Yeah, I hear what you're saying. 1063 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,000 (DISTANT THUDDING AND GRUNTING) 1064 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:26,440 (DISTANT THUDDING AND GRUNTING) 1065 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,400 What?! Have a what? Have a fucking... 1066 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,440 (YELLING) 1067 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,000 (SCREAMING) 1068 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,040 (SCREAMING) 1069 00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:46,720 Cancel your plans and dress flamboyantly. Have I overdone it? 1070 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,200 What kind of man has a maze? Welcome. 1071 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:50,000 It's my special exotic animal zoo. This calls for a top-up. Oh. 1072 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,200 It's my special exotic animal zoo. This calls for a top-up. Oh. 1073 00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:55,080 We're stuck in the fucking maze. 1074 00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,080 Let's keep this strictly business. 1075 00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,800 Violated in an exotic zoo. 1076 00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,560 (YELLS) 1077 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:03,440 Man, woman or tiny plastic foetus 1078 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,000 covered in fucking weird hair, we're in it together. 1079 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:06,120 covered in fucking weird hair, we're in it together. 1080 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,240 ..so much trouble in my mind 1081 00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,880 I got so much trouble in my mind 1082 00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:14,000 I got so much trouble in my mind 1083 00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,600 I got so much trouble in my mind 1084 00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,720 I got an eight-hour job 1085 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,160 I got an eight-hour job 1086 00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:29,400 And every day My work, it gets so hard... 1087 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:30,000 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk 1088 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,440 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk 1089 00:44:32,490 --> 00:44:37,040 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 90226