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1
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:08,976
CONGRATULATE UNCLE MURRAY
ON THE CAR.
2
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,878
HAPPY LIFE, HAPPY LIFE.
3
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:11,879
OH, HO HO HO.
4
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:12,980
AHH...
5
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,483
OH, WHAT
A WONDERFUL WEDDING.
6
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,351
I LAUGHED, I DANCED...
7
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:20,921
AND I KICKED
SOME OLD-MAID BUTT.
8
00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:23,624
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING
THAT WOULD HAVE MADE IT
MORE FUN.
9
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:26,560
HMM. BEING INVITED,
MAYBE?
10
00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:27,595
HOW WAS MY TOAST?
11
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,197
OH, GOOD, GOOD.
12
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,699
I GUESS YOU COULD'VE WAITED
TILL THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE
FINISHED HIS TOAST, BUT...
13
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,935
OH, NO, NO, NO.
HE WAS UNFOCUSED
AND SENTIMENTAL.
14
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,170
WHERE TO NEXT?
15
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,972
OOH, LOOKS LIKE WE GOT
A BAR MITZVAH IN BALLROOM C.
16
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:43,544
OOH...THERE WE GO.
17
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:45,146
POINT ME
TO THE KUGEL.
18
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,447
YEAH.
19
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,616
YOU GUYS, CHECK IT OUT.
20
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,784
GET A FREE BLACK AND WHITE TV
21
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:55,656
AAH! I'VE ONLY EVER
SEEN COLOR TVs.
22
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:59,160
ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS ATTEND A BRIEF
TIMESHARE PRESENTATION.
23
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,662
THEY'RE GIVING OUT TVs
AND PRESENTATIONS?
24
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,497
WHAT'S IN IT FOR THEM?
25
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:06,367
SUCKERS.
26
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,335
I'M GOING IN.
27
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,337
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHAT ABOUT
THE BAR MITZVAH?
28
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:13,674
OH, TELL JACOB OR DANIEL OR BEN
HOW PROUD I AM OF HIM.
29
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:19,380
WHO HERE WOULD LIKE TO INCREASE
THEIR VACATION VALUE
30
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:23,484
WHILE DECREASING
THEIR VACATION COSTS?
31
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:24,485
IT'S UNCANNY.
32
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,920
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT
I WANTED MORE FOR LESS?
33
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:31,659
NOW IMAGINE OWNING YOUR
VERY OWN LUXURY GETAWAY
AT PINE VILLA ESTATES
34
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,795
THROUGH THE MIRACLE
OF TIMESHARE OWNERSHIP.
35
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,898
STOP. YOU'RE TEASING.
HOW MUCH? HOW MUCH?!
36
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,168
A MERE $10,000.
37
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,135
$10,000.
38
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,603
YES.
39
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,372
OK, PEOPLE,
BACHELOR AUCTION.
40
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,106
DO I HEAR $10,000?
41
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,546
IF WE BUY
THIS TIMESHARE,
42
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:28,916
WE WILL HAVE OUR OWN
LITTLE PIECE OF EARTH.
43
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:32,420
LAND--IT'S THE ONLY
THING THAT MATTERS.
44
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:37,558
DICK, THAT'S JUST DIRT
FROM THE BACKYARD.
45
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,494
YEAH, THAT'S NOT
EXACTLY DIRT.
46
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,169
WE SIMPLY NEED TO RAISE
ANOTHER 5,000,
47
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:53,474
AND A GETAWAY AT PINE VILLA
ESTATES WILL BE OURS.
48
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,910
I GUESS IT'S TIME WE SOLD
THAT OLD REFRIGERATOR
OF OURS.
49
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,647
IT IS, AFTER ALL,
SOLID GOLD.
50
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:04,485
NO. HARRY, I THINK
THE REFRIGERATOR
IS HAR GOLD.
51
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,754
THERE ARE
3 GRADES OF GOLD--
52
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,357
FOOL'S GOLD,
BLACK HILLS GOLD,
53
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,392
AND HARVEST GOLD,
BEING THE MOST VALUABLE.
54
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,761
I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
55
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:14,628
HEY, EVERYBODY.
56
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:17,130
OH, TOMMY. LISTEN,
I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
57
00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,533
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
DROP OUT OF COLLEGE.
58
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,802
WE NEED THE TUITION MONEY
FOR SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT.
59
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,805
I DON'T PAY TUITION.
I'M ON SCHOLARSHIP.
60
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:27,541
YOU IDIOT! I'LL
CHECK OUT THE TOASTER.
61
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:30,177
IT MAY BE PLATINUM.
62
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,046
TOMMY, YOU ARE
GETTING SO BIG.
63
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,982
WHAT ARE THEY
FEEDING YOU?
64
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,718
UH, FRUITS,
VEGETABLES, MILK.
65
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:41,422
OHH...COLLEGE.
66
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,190
YOU KNOW, TOM-TOMMY,
67
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,093
I THINK YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY
BE TALLER THAN HARRY NOW.
68
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,094
COULD BE.
69
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,962
YEAH...RIGHT.
70
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,865
LOOK, EVEN IF TOMMY
WAS TALLER,
71
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:55,035
THERE'S NO WAY
YOU CAN PROVE IT.
72
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,170
NO, NO. COME BACK
HERE, HARRY.
73
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,106
LET ME TRY SOMETHING.
74
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,745
UH, OK.
TOMMY'S TALLER.
75
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,448
WELL,
HOW ABOUT THAT?
76
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:10,150
CONGRATULATIONS
THERE, PARTNER.
77
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,620
GUESS FROM NOW ON,
YOU CAN JUST CALL ME
SHORTY.
78
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,221
ALL RIGHT, SHORTY.
79
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,956
I DON'T LIKE
THAT NICKNAME!
80
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,124
OH, I'M SORRY, LITTLE MAN.
81
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,593
STOP IT.
82
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:23,964
OK, FIRST OFF, THERE ARE
NO RARE METALS IN THIS TOASTER.
83
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:27,134
SECOND, WE WILL BE ENJOYING
OUR POP TARTS RAW
84
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,670
FOR SOME TIME TO COME.
85
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:32,172
DICK, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST GO IN ON
THE TIMESHARE
86
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,907
WITH SOMEONE?
87
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:37,878
SHARE THE TIMESHARE?
SALLY, THAT'S BRILLIANT.
88
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,947
WE JUST NEED TO FIND
SOMEONE SMART ENOUGH
89
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:43,651
TO RECOGNIZE A GREAT DEAL
WHEN IT DROPS INTO HIS LAP.
90
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,619
YEAH.
91
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:46,887
SOMEONE SMART.
92
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,958
PICTURE IT--WALKING
IN YOUR OWN MOUNTAIN MEADOW.
93
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:57,365
A LITTLE BIT OF PARADISE
AT PINE VILLA ESTATES
FOR ONLY $5,000.
94
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:58,866
WHAT DO YOU THINK, DON?
95
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:03,537
WELL, HE DID SAY, "ONLY."
96
00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:04,672
COME ON, DON.
97
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:09,943
YOU, ME, AND THE GIRLS.
MEADOWS...
98
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,980
$5,000. THAT'S
MY COP PENSION.
99
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,147
WHAT'S THE POINT
OF RETIRING
100
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,850
IF YOU HAVE NO PLACE
TO RETIRE TO?
101
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:17,385
I'LL DO IT!
102
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,587
OH, THAT A BOY, DONNY.
103
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,021
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
104
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:21,689
PARTNERS!
105
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,624
VACATION BUDDIES.
106
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,459
HEY, DON'T FORGET
YOUR FREE TV.
HUH?
107
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:28,729
OH...HE WAS...TALKING TO ME.
108
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,002
OK, MARY.
109
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,370
ARE YOU READY
TO SEE THE PLACE
110
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:38,672
WHERE YOU'LL BE SPENDING
EVERY VACATION
111
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,641
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
112
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,779
READY.
113
00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:47,715
I'M NOT READY!
114
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:50,083
OH, MY GOD...
115
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:52,653
WILL YOU LOOK
AT THIS PLACE!
116
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:58,325
MY GOD, IT'S GORGEOUS!
117
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,927
OHH...
118
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:04,698
AND ONLY 3 HOURS
AND 4 CAR BARGES AWAY.
119
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,467
[GASP]
120
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,403
SWANKY.
121
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:11,839
OH, I WANNA
SEE EVERYTHING.
122
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,441
OH, THIS MUST BE
THE LIVING AREA.
123
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:16,577
OH, LOOK, DONNY.
THE DINING AREA.
124
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,712
AND THE BEDROOM AREA.
OHH...
125
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,214
GUYS, I FOUND
ANOTHER AREA.
126
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:26,219
WOW! SO WE CAN
RUN AWAY TO THIS PLACE
WHENEVER WE WANT
127
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:30,023
DURING RED-MARKED WEEKS
ON ONLY 90 DAYS' NOTICE.
128
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:33,627
OH, YEAH. YEAH, THERE'LL
BE A LOT OF THESE
129
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:36,864
TUESDAY THROUGH
MID-DAY THURSDAY
GETAWAYS.
130
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,399
SO COME ON,
LET'S UNPACK.
131
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,769
UNPACK WHERE, DICK?
I DON'T SEE A CLOSET.
132
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,303
I DON'T EVEN SEE A WINDOW.
133
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:47,007
DON'T WORRY, MARY.
HERE'S CLOSET.
134
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:47,875
AND THERE'S YOUR WINDOW.
135
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:48,842
OHH.
136
00:06:56,817 --> 00:07:00,220
HELLO, MISS DUBCEK.
137
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,790
TOMMY.
138
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:06,727
HOW'S THE WEATHER
DOWN THERE, HALF-PINT?
139
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,796
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE OFF
THE STILTS, HARRY?
140
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:13,667
WELL, IF YOU THINK
IT'LL MAKE A DIFFERENCE,
PEE WEE.
141
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,235
OH.
142
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,508
THAT WAS MIGHTY BOLD,
SHORTY.
143
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,910
WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT
THAT I'M TALLER THAN YOU, MAN?
144
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:27,548
YEAH, RIGHT.
YOU GREW, YET YOUR
CLOTHES STILL FIT.
145
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,950
OR DID THEY
GROW, TOO?
146
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,486
FINE, I DIDN'T GROW.
MAYBE YOU JUST SHRUNK.
147
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:36,023
DAMN RIGHT.
WH--SHRUNK?
148
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,893
IT'S VERY POSSIBLE. IT'S
IN ALL THE MEDICAL JOURNALS.
149
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:40,961
REALLY?
150
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,764
YEAH. WHEN YOU AGE,
YOU GET SHORTER.
151
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:48,135
YOU SEE THESE CAPRIS?
THEY USED TO BE BIKE SHORTS.
152
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:52,506
OH, MY GOD.
JUST MINUTES AGO,
153
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:56,510
THESE PANTS HIT
THE TOP OF MY SHOES,
154
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:59,947
AND NOW THEY
TOUCH THE FLOOR.
155
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,249
I AM SHRINKING!
156
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,054
I DON'T KNOW DICK,
157
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,321
THIS PLACE LOOKS A LITTLE ROUGH.
158
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:11,091
OH, NOW MARY YOU SAID ABOUT
THE PAWN SHOP
159
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,259
AND THE TATTOO PARLOR
160
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,327
YOU'ER NOT GIVING THIS
TOWN A CHANCE.
161
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,763
DON'T WORRY ALBRIGHT
162
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,831
WE GOT A POLICE MAN WITH US
163
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,867
ARE YOU TRING TO GET
ME KILLED?
164
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,970
SIT, UH, SIT DOWN
165
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,104
YEAH?
166
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,039
I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF MERLOT
167
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:28,709
WHAT?
168
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,443
IT'S WINE.
169
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:35,448
I GUESS I CAN MIX
BLACKBERRY SCHNAPPS
AND TAP WATER.
170
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,350
KEEP 'EM COMING.
171
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:39,052
ALL AROUND.
172
00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:41,021
HOW ARE WE GONNA KILL
3 DAYS UP HERE?
173
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,389
OH, NO, THERE'S
PLENTY TO DO.
174
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,958
WE'LL JUST GET THE SKINNY
FROM THE LOCALS.
175
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:49,429
UH...
176
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:53,033
EXCUSE ME, SIR. WE'RE
VACATIONING IN THE AREA.
177
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,502
WHAT IS THE ONE THING
WE SHOULD NOT MISS?
178
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:59,172
WELL, UH, THERE'S THE PRISON.
179
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,274
I SEE. ARE THERE
ANY CRAFTS FAIRS?
180
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:04,978
OH, WE GOT THAT--PRISON CRAFTS.
181
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,346
COMMUNITY THEATER?
182
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,048
THEY WERE GONNA DO
GUYS AND DOLLS AT THE PRISON,
183
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:12,519
BUT SOME OF THE GUYS
DIDN'T WANNA BE DOLLS.
184
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,722
THANK YOU.
185
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,092
LOOK, WE'RE
4 INTERESTING PEOPLE.
186
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,393
WE'LL MAKE OUR OWN FUN.
187
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,529
[KNIFE TAPPING
AGAINST TABLE]
188
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:28,268
UH, EXCUSE ME.
189
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,804
COULD WE BORROW THE KNIFE?
190
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:43,383
DICK, THERE'S SOMETHING
CRAWLING UP MY BACK.
191
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:47,287
NO. THAT'S ME, MARY.
I'M JUST BEING FRISKY.
192
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,057
I CAN SEE YOUR HANDS.
IT'S A BUG.
193
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,026
OH, STOP MAKING EXCUSES
FOR THIS DUMP.
194
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,096
OH, I KNOW. I MADE
A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
195
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,799
I THOUGHT THAT
OWNING MY OWN PLACE
WOULD FEEL WONDERFUL.
196
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:02,269
INSTEAD,
IT'S JUST ITCHY.
197
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,772
WHAT DO I DO?
198
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:05,806
YOU'VE GOT TO GET RID OF IT.
199
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,108
BUT HOW?
200
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,077
SELL IT TO DON.
201
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:13,513
YOU REALLY THINK
HE WOULD BUY IT?
202
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:17,450
WHY DON'T YOU ROLL OVER
AND ASK HIM?
203
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:25,492
OH, SORRY, COMING THROUGH.
GANG WAY.
204
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,830
DON'T--NO,
DON'T WORRY, MARY.
205
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,398
I'LL TALK TO DON
TOMORROW.
206
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,966
GOOD. LET IT
BE DON'S HEADACHE.
207
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,502
ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU
LISTEN TO ME, DON.
208
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,805
YOU'RE A COP.
YOU HAVE CONNECTIONS.
209
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:42,542
CAN YOU PLEASE GET US
A ROOM IN THAT PRISON?
210
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,812
I KNOW, SALLY.
WE'RE TRAPPED.
211
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,947
WHAT CAN I DO?
212
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,919
SELL YOUR SHARE TO DICK.
213
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,522
IT'S ALL HIS FAULT, ANYWAY.
214
00:10:57,024 --> 00:11:01,261
FINE. I'LL DO IT.
OK.
215
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:06,166
HEY, ARE YOU
GETTING FRISKY?
216
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,600
NO, WHY?
217
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,769
DAAH! BUG!
218
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,739
[ALL SCREAMING]
219
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:19,179
[BOTH GRUNTING]
220
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:28,822
ISN'T THIS GREAT, DON...
221
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,724
SPLITTING WOOD OUTSIDE
OUR OWN TIMESHARE?
222
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:34,127
YEAH. GOOD, WHOLESOME
OUTDOOR EXERCISE.
223
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,696
I COULD DO THIS FOR HOURS.
224
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:39,833
I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT WE
DON'T HAVE A FIREPLACE.
225
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,369
ME, NEITHER.
226
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:46,774
BY THE WAY, DON,
227
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:50,010
I HAVE GOOD NEWS
AND BAD NEWS.
228
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,178
WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS?
229
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,146
MARY'S DYING.
230
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:55,983
THAT'S GOOD NEWS?
231
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,517
WELL, IT IS FOR YOU, DON.
232
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,220
'CAUSE I HAVE TO SELL
MY HALF OF THE TIMESHARE
233
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,922
TO PAY FOR MARY'S OPERATION.
234
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:04,724
AND THE DOCTOR FEELS
I SHOULD SELL IT TO YOU.
235
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:10,030
WELL, UH,
WON'T MARY NEED
A NICE PLACE
236
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,565
IN THE COUNTRY
TO RECUPERATE?
237
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:13,934
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
BUY ME OUT.
238
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,436
WHO ARE YOU,
THE SURGEON GENERAL?
239
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,772
MARY'S ONLY CHANCE IS
FOR YOU TO BUY THIS PLACE.
240
00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:21,141
YEAH? WELL, MY ONLY
CHANCE IS TO SELL IT.
241
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,642
LOOK AT THESE BLISTERS.
242
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,611
I'M NOT CUT OUT
FOR THIS LIFE.
243
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,047
NOT THAT
I DON'T LOVE IT.
244
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,716
IF YOU LOVE IT,
THEN BUY ME OUT FOR $4,500.
245
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,885
OR YOU COULD GIVE ME
4,000 FOR MY HALF.
246
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:35,155
3,700 FOR MY HALF,
BUT THAT'S AS LOW AS I GO.
247
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,024
I'LL TAKE 3,000 AND
THROW IN THE FLY STRIP.
248
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,525
OH, COME ON, DON!
249
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,427
JUST BUY IT,
FOR GOD'S SAKE.
250
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,329
YOU ONLY HAVE TO LIVE THERE
ONE WEEK A YEAR.
251
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,598
YOU BUY IT!
YOU GOT ME INTO THIS.
252
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,202
SO THIS IS WHAT IT
COMES DOWN TO, EH, ORVILLE?
253
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:52,840
I SHOULD WARN YOU.
I'M PRETTY HANDY WITH AN AX.
254
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:56,176
I SAW YOU CHOPPING.
YOU'RE NOT.
255
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,779
OK, THIS IS MY FINAL OFFER.
256
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,414
GIVE ME 2,900,
AND I'LL LET YOU
257
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,484
TAKE ONE SWIPE AT ME
WITH THE AX.
258
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,230
TOMMY, I'M SHRINKING.
259
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,869
AND WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT MIGHT END?
260
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:25,205
SO, I'VE TAKEN
SOME PRECAUTIONS.
261
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:33,947
STRIPES. IT'LL MAKE ME
LOOK TALLER.
262
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,116
I ALSO GOT YOU THIS,
HEARING AID.
263
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,150
I CAN HEAR YOU FINE.
264
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,351
WELL, SURE, NOW.
265
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,753
BUT WHEN [HIGH-PITCHED]
I GET REAL SMALL,
266
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:43,891
I'LL SOUND LIKE THIS,
AND I MIGHT NEED
YOUR HELP.
267
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:46,426
OK! ALL RIGHT!
268
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,594
I THINK YOU'RE OVERREACTING,
269
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,429
BUT, LOOK, I CAN SEE
YOU'RE REALLY FREAKED OUT,
270
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:53,200
SO, EARLIER ON, I SAW THIS.
271
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:57,204
"RUTHERFORD
ENLARGEMENT CLINIC."
272
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,907
"FOR THE MAN
WHO WANTS MORE."
273
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:03,543
"LET US HELP YOU BECOME
THE SIZE YOU DESERVE."
274
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,752
DICK, DID YOU WORK IT OUT?
275
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,088
YES, I DID, MARY.
276
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,925
I SOLD MY HALF OF
THE TIMESHARE TO DON.
277
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:18,959
OH, THAT'S
A RELIEF.
278
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:21,828
AND I SOLD MY HALF
TO DICK.
279
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,899
AW, JEEZ LOUISE!
280
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,235
YOU MEAN, WE'RE GONNA BE
STUCK IN THIS DUMP FOREVER?
281
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,070
OH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
282
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:34,975
IT'S AS IF THAT SALESMAN
EXAGGERATED HOW
DESIRABLE THIS PLACE IS.
283
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,744
NOW, LOOK, I KNOW THAT'S
A HARSH ACCUSATION--
284
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:41,048
IT'S THE CLASSIC
BAIT AND SWITCH,
DICK.
285
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:44,184
IN MY LINE OF WORK,
I'VE SEEN IT
A THOUSAND TIMES.
286
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:47,420
WELL, THEN WHY
DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
287
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:51,324
WELL, ACTUALLY,
I'VE ONLY SEEN IT TWICE.
288
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,126
WELL, GET READY, DON...
289
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,029
BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT
TO SEE IT AGAIN.
290
00:14:56,063 --> 00:15:00,167
BUT THIS TIME, WE
WON'T BE THE SUCKERS.
291
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,868
GOOD!
292
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:06,773
MAYBE WE SHOULD
HAVE A HAND-SIGN,
JUST IN CASE AND--
293
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:17,350
HI.
294
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:19,386
HI.
295
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:23,756
YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU COULD USE
ANOTHER FOOT.
296
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:24,624
HEY...
297
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,326
I-I'M SORRY.
298
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:29,796
W-WELL, IT'S HARD
TO TELL WHEN YOU'RE
SITTIN' DOWN.
299
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,466
SO HE USED TO BE BIGGER
THAN ME.
300
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:37,370
AND THEN MY AUNT REALIZED
THAT I'M THE BIGGER ONE NOW.
301
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,572
HE CAN'T STAND IT.
302
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:44,611
HE MAKES ME MEASURE HIM,
LIKE, 5 TIMES A DAY.
303
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,446
WHEN HE WAKES UP,
AFTER HIS SHOWER,
304
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:49,782
AFTER HIS STRETCHING
EXERCISES--
305
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,822
THESE GUYS ARE WEIRD.
306
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,860
SAY, DID YOU SEE
THAT SUN RISE
307
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:03,163
OVER THE TIRE PLANT
THIS MORNING?
308
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:05,665
I SAID, IF THOSE COLORS
COME FROM CHEMICALS,
309
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:08,335
BRING ON THE CHEMICALS!
310
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,003
I THINK EVERYONE'S
HERE, DICK.
311
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:11,804
OH, GOOD, THEN LET'S
ALL GET STARTED.
312
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:12,972
SALLY!
313
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:15,842
FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS,
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
314
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:18,311
WE ARE ALL UNITED
BY OUR LOVE
315
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,480
FOR PINE VILLA ESTATES
TIMESHARES.
316
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,315
NOW HERE'S SOME
EXCITING NEWS.
317
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,617
AS GREAT
AS ONE TIMESHARE IS,
318
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,520
2 TIMESHARES
ARE EVEN BETTER.
319
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:28,588
WHOA!
OH!
320
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:31,258
YES, I WOULD LIKE
TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE MIRACLE
321
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,194
OF MULTI-TIMESHARE
OWNERSHIP.
322
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,463
I'M ALREADY
A MULTI-TIMESHARE
OWNER
323
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,565
AND AM CONSIDERING
A THIRD.
324
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,233
OOH.
[GASPS]
OOH.
325
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:44,003
MY QUESTION IS,
IS IT WRONG TO BE
THIS HAPPY?
326
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,140
GOOD QUESTION.
NO, IT'S NOT.
327
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:50,743
BUT YOU WON'T BE HAPPY
IF SOMEONE HERE BUYS
THIS TIMESHARE FIRST.
328
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,713
I'LL THROW IN
2 BLACK AND WHITE TVs
AND A FREE CORD OF WOOD.
329
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,482
ANYONE?
330
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,250
DID YOU
FEEL THAT?
WHAT?
331
00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:59,219
IT FELT LIKE
THE FLOOR
WAS BUCKLING.
332
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,388
IT'S THE CLUBHOUSE
ALL OVER AGAIN!
333
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,390
NO! DON'T GO!
I'M SURE THAT--
334
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,457
THAT HASN'T BEEN
A PROBLEM.
335
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,393
EXCUSE ME.
IF YOU'LL JUST--
336
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:09,196
BE SURE TO TAKE
SOME BROCHURES.
337
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,730
BROCHURES!
338
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:14,567
OK, MR. SOLOMON.
339
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:17,036
I'VE BEEN REVIEWING
YOUR CHART.
340
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:21,674
NOW, IT SAYS HERE,
YOU'VE BEEN TRYING A VARIETY
OF HOME REMEDIES.
341
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,743
HANGING FROM THE CEILING?
342
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,447
WITH WEIGHTS ATTACHED.
343
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,618
THAT IS UNORTHODOX.
344
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,686
WELL, I'M DESPERATE.
345
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,089
I'M SHRINKING.
346
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,057
SHRINKING?
347
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,327
YOU DO KNOW THAT THERE'S
A NATURAL FLUCTUATION
IN SIZE,
348
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,562
BASED ON EXCITEMENT.
349
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:51,171
YOU MEAN I'M BIGGER
WHEN I'M WATCHING
PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING?
350
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:56,075
WELL, TO EACH HIS OWN.
351
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,845
YOU GOTTA HELP ME, DOC.
MAKE ME TALLER.
352
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:01,814
WAIT. MR. SOLOMON,
ARE YOU CONCERNED
ABOUT YOUR HEIGHT?
353
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:06,619
WELL, WHY ELSE WOULD I
DRAG MY TINY BUTT
DOWN HERE?
354
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,856
I THINK YOUR HEIGHT
IS STABLE.
355
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,825
OF COURSE, I'VE EXAMINED
ONLY ONE PART OF YOU.
356
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:16,028
YEAH. I WAS WONDERING
ABOUT THAT.
357
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:19,332
UH, BUT...
358
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,201
FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN,
359
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:25,738
YOU SHOULD HAVE NO FEARS
ABOUT YOUR SIZE IN THAT AREA.
360
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,740
OH?
361
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,243
IN FACT, MOST OF THE MEN
WHO COME TO ME
362
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:33,746
WOULD BE QUITE PLEASED
TO HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE.
363
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,388
SHOULD I GO OUT THERE
AND MAYBE SHOW THESE GUYS
WHAT TO SHOOT FOR?
364
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:42,589
OH.
365
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,192
OH, NO. NO, NO.
366
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:46,593
WELL, WHY NOT?
367
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,695
YEAH!
368
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,234
THAT ONE OLD GUY
SEEMED KIND OF INTERESTED.
369
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:58,705
WHEN EVERYONE ELSE
RUSHED OUT,
HE STAYED BEHIND.
370
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:01,241
HE WAS TRAMPLED, DICK.
371
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,278
HE'S STILL
OUR NUMBER ONE PROSPECT.
372
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:06,546
OH, IT'S MY FAULT.
373
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:09,682
I BOUGHT INTO
THIS AMERICAN DREAM
OF HOME OWNERSHIP--
374
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:12,452
THE WHITE PICKET FENCE,
THE GARDEN ARBOR,
375
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,921
THE INCREDIBLY HOT WIDOW
NEXT DOOR
376
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:18,258
WHO GIVES MASSAGES
IN EXCHANGE
FOR YARD WORK.
377
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:19,326
DICK!
378
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,960
MARY, WE
WERE ALL FOOLED.
379
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,562
BUT I'M DONE
WITH THIS PLACE.
380
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,497
THEN LET'S JUST
TAKE THE LOSS
381
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:27,567
AND PRETEND
THIS WHOLE THING
NEVER HAPPENED.
382
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,502
SAY GOOD-BYE TO THIS
PATHETIC KITCHENETTE
383
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:33,105
WITH ITS 2 INCHES
OF COUNTER SPACE,
384
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:37,744
HARDLY ROOM FOR POOR DON
TO SHAVE HIS BACK
IN THE MORNING.
385
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:42,249
AND WE'LL NEVER GET IN
THAT HORRIBLE POOL AGAIN.
386
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:46,018
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE SAW
THAT THING IN THE WATER...
387
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:49,556
AND WE DIDN'T KNOW
IF IT WAS A BUG OR A TURTLE,
388
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,157
AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE...
389
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,326
KIND OF BOTH.
390
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,562
I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU
RUN THAT FAST!
391
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,063
ME, NEITHER. I KNOW.
392
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:59,266
WELL, I WORKED UP
QUITE AN APPETITE.
393
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,933
AND THEN
WE CAME BACK HERE
394
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:05,672
AND TRIED TO JAM
A FROZEN PIZZA
INTO THAT TINY OVEN.
395
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,608
AND THEN WE
PUT OUT THE FIRE
WITH MARY'S SWEATER.
396
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,109
WHY, IT WENT UP
LIKE A...
397
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:11,010
CASHMERE SWEATER!
398
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,112
I KNOW. HA HA HA!
399
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,981
AT LEAST WE WERE WARM
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
400
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,417
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
401
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,452
[SIGHS]
402
00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,954
FUNNY, IN SPITE
OF EVERYTHING,
403
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:26,158
WE'VE ENDED UP WITH SOME
PRETTY SPECIAL MEMORIES.
404
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:31,698
MAYBE THIS CRUMMY TIMESHARE
JUST NEEDS A LITTLE LOVE.
405
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,966
SOMEONE TO GIVE IT
A SLAP OF PAINT.
406
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,837
OR JUST HOSE IT DOWN.
407
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,706
YOU KNOW, SOMETHING?
408
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:46,212
I BELIEVE THAT,
LIKE THE MUSHROOMS
GROWING IN THE CORNER...
409
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,815
OUR LOVE FOR THIS PLACE
CAN ONLY MULTIPLY.
410
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,283
THIS IS HOME.
411
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:51,751
AHH...
412
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,586
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
413
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:57,324
THIS IS OUR TIMESHARE.
IT'S OUR WEEKEND.
414
00:20:57,357 --> 00:21:00,026
WAIT A SECOND.
THIS IS OUR HOME.
415
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:01,361
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE.
416
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:04,431
MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL
STAY HERE TOGETHER.
417
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:07,166
I'M SURE THAT WE WOULD ALL
GROW TO LOVE EACH OTHER.
418
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,168
HAVE YOU FOLKS
VISITED THE PRISON YET?
419
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:12,104
LIVED THERE FOR 4 YEARS,
420
00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:14,307
AND I AIN'T AFRAID
TO GO BACK.
421
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,810
OK, VACATION'S OVER.
422
00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:20,780
[ALL SHOUTING]
423
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:22,315
BYE-BYE!
29957
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