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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,009 [theme music] 2 00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:13,413 ANNOUNCER: The Dick Van Dyke Show! 3 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:22,789 Starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry 4 00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:25,625 Mathews, and Mary Tyler Moore. 5 00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:32,298 Hi, Honey. 6 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,801 Rob, your whole dinner's practically ruined! 7 00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:36,336 Oh well, who cares? 8 00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:37,570 I do! 9 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:38,705 Where were you? 10 00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,173 When I show you what I got behind my back, 11 00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:40,874 you're going to forgive me for everything. 12 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:42,442 Oh, good. 13 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:43,443 You remembered to get Ritchie's shoes from the repair shop? 14 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:44,944 I forgot. 15 00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:47,147 Honey, my book. 16 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:48,715 What book? 17 00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:52,218 What-- I tear myself apart for five years trying to write 18 00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:54,020 a book, and you say what book? 19 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,054 Oh, Rob. 20 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,357 Your book? 21 00:00:57,457 --> 00:00:58,358 Untitled. 22 00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,693 A series of terribly important events 23 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,863 in the fairly unimportant life of Robert S. Petrie. 24 00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:04,798 Oh, Rob. 25 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,732 You've finished it. 26 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,267 You really finished it! 27 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,602 Yeah, during my lunch hours and one dinner hour tonight. 28 00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:10,737 Oh, boy. 29 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,172 Well, I tell you what. 30 00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,074 You start your wilted salad and the rest of the meal 31 00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:15,508 is in the oven. 32 00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:17,077 Honey, I don't want to have to eat in the bedroom. 33 00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:18,778 You're going to watch me read? 34 00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:20,280 Yes, indeed I am. 35 00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,351 Rob, it's no good. 36 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:26,653 Well how can you say that? 37 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:27,887 You haven't even read the first page yet. 38 00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,456 I haven't read the first word. 39 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,024 And I'm not going to be able to with you 40 00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:32,225 staring over my shoulder. 41 00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:33,860 Now come on. - I'm in the other room. 42 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:34,761 Keep reading. Read, read. 43 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:37,931 I'm gone. 44 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,500 [dish clattering] 45 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,203 Rob. 46 00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:46,439 ROB (VOICEOVER): This book is for my wife. 47 00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:48,508 I was born in Danville, Illinois. 48 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:51,945 Then I married Laura Meehan in Joplin, Missouri. 49 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,813 The reason I won't tell you about the time in between 50 00:01:53,913 --> 00:01:57,350 is that, except for the time I broke my cheek at age 11, 51 00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:01,187 my life was exactly like that of Doctor Zhivago. 52 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:06,659 Except his took place in Russia and mine in Danville. 53 00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:09,262 Rather than risk a lawsuit, I'll concentrate on my life 54 00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:10,964 after marriage. 55 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:14,334 Like most strong marriages, mine started with a weak proposal. 56 00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,102 Rob, are you all right? 57 00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:17,637 Oh yeah, I'm fine. 58 00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:20,039 It's just-- it's a little cold out tonight. 59 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,007 Cold? 60 00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:22,475 It must be 80 degrees. 61 00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:23,510 It is? 62 00:02:26,412 --> 00:02:28,448 Rob, we'd better drive right back. 63 00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:29,816 I think you've caught a cold. 64 00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:30,783 You're shivering. 65 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,986 Well it's a family trait. 66 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,354 All the male members of my family 67 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:37,524 shiver when they're about to propose marriage. 68 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:41,794 Is that what you're about to do? 69 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:42,896 Yeah. 70 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,932 Yeah, I guess so. 71 00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:47,600 Laura. 72 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,135 Will you marry me? 73 00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:51,905 You want me to marry you? 74 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,474 Yeah, very much. 75 00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:55,508 Oh. 76 00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:00,647 You're shivering. 77 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:03,483 Well all the female members of my family 78 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:07,754 react this way when they accept marriage proposals. 79 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,055 Yeah? 80 00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:12,292 Yeah. 81 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:15,795 Well, I guess I guess we ought to-- 82 00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:16,829 Yeah. 83 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,906 [sighs] 84 00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:33,746 BOTH: Wow. 85 00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,014 When do you want to? 86 00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:36,249 Want to what? 87 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:41,721 Get married. 88 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:42,755 Oh. 89 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,595 Well I hadn't-- I hadn't thought about it. 90 00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:49,862 You hadn't? 91 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,431 Well, no. 92 00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:52,865 I thought you'd say no. 93 00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:00,974 Well hubba-- hubba-- hubba-- hubba-- hubba-- hubba-- 94 00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:06,546 how about Sunday? 95 00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:07,580 Sunday? 96 00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:14,921 Sunday would be fine. 97 00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:16,623 Sunday. 98 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:17,624 Sunday. 99 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:35,541 Just think, next Sunday I'll be Mrs. Robert Petrie. 100 00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:36,843 Yeah. 101 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:37,877 Sunday. 102 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,118 Are you scared? 103 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,252 No. 104 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,720 So am I. 105 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,289 ROB (VOICEOVER): A funny thing happened to be on my way 106 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:50,223 to my wedding. 107 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:51,758 I missed it. 108 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,259 I had an accident and arrived at the chapel just in time 109 00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,494 to collapse. 110 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:07,006 [somber wedding music] 111 00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,093 Oh, Rob. 112 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:38,905 Laura? 113 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:39,839 Laura! 114 00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:40,807 Laura, it's me! 115 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:41,741 Let go! 116 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:42,742 It's me, Rob! 117 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:43,910 I don't ever want to see you again. 118 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,311 Now wait a minute, Honey. 119 00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,547 I know you were a little upset today, and I don't blame you. 120 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,049 I'm not upset, and let go of my hand! 121 00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:53,720 Not until you promise to stay here and listen to me. 122 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,121 Now please. 123 00:05:55,221 --> 00:05:57,690 All right, I promise. 124 00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,058 Now let go. 125 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,693 OK. 126 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:01,761 Honey! 127 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,229 You promised you'd stay and listen to me. 128 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:05,264 And you promised you'd marry me! 129 00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,466 Where were you? 130 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,134 That's what I want to explain! 131 00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:13,306 I've never been so humiliated in my whole life, Rob. 132 00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:15,007 Everybody was here. 133 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,143 Even my Aunt Mildred was here. 134 00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:19,412 She came all the way from Ohio! 135 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:23,850 Oh, honey. 136 00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:24,684 Please. 137 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,853 I hate to see you cry like this. 138 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:30,857 Well it's the only way I know how to cry! 139 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,925 You jilted me! 140 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:35,461 Honey, I-- 141 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:36,929 I didn't jilt you. 142 00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:39,065 Well somebody did. 143 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,135 I came here to get married and I'm still single. 144 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,903 And let go of my hand! 145 00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,605 No sir! 146 00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,507 You promised this hand to me in marriage, 147 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,841 and you gave it to me. 148 00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:51,377 Now I'm going to explain to you why I was late, 149 00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:53,279 and if you want your hand back now, 150 00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:56,048 I'll be perfectly happy to give it to you. 151 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,617 Make it fast. 152 00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,585 My train leaves in an hour. 153 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,492 Do you know that you are a very 154 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:09,362 stubborn, unreasonable, egocentric young lady? 155 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:12,098 How dare you? 156 00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:13,633 And give me back my hand! 157 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:14,767 I'll give it back to you just as 158 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:16,602 soon as I'm finished with it. 159 00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:19,505 Now I'll admit that you suffered a little mental anguish here 160 00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,007 today, but are you so self-centered 161 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,376 that you haven't noticed that I am suffering too? 162 00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,845 Oh, are you? 163 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,881 I'm wincing with pain every few seconds. 164 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,088 Did you even notice that I'm covered with grease 165 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,858 and my ankle is swollen to twice its normal size? 166 00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,496 Don't touch my foot. 167 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:49,001 Well, what happened? 168 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:50,703 There. 169 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,906 That's what you should have said when you first saw me. 170 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:55,241 Oh, Rob. 171 00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:56,209 What did happen? 172 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,376 Well, it's a long story. 173 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,178 You might miss your train. 174 00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:02,248 I'd like to hear it. 175 00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:05,852 Well, to tell you the truth, when I got up this morning, 176 00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:07,386 I was scared. 177 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:11,791 I wasn't sure that our getting married was such a good idea. 178 00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:15,161 Well all right, I'll admit, I had some doubts. 179 00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,529 All single men do. 180 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:18,631 All single men who don't want to get married. 181 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:21,801 All single men. 182 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,604 There's a-- there's a foreverness about marriage. 183 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:25,538 It's frightening. 184 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:26,772 Not to me. 185 00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:30,376 Well you've never been a single man. 186 00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:34,914 Well anyway, I took a drive this morning out to our spot. 187 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,084 Had a nice long talk with myself. 188 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,686 I tried very hard to convince myself that our getting married 189 00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:42,188 was a big mistake. 190 00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,089 Oh? 191 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,657 Yeah. 192 00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:46,959 For every good reason I could come up with that I should 193 00:08:47,059 --> 00:08:49,262 marry you, I came up with about 10 194 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,563 good reasons why I shouldn't. 195 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,632 That's nice. 196 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:57,370 There's only one good reason I couldn't knock down. 197 00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,071 I love you. 198 00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:01,574 I know that's a ridiculous reason to get married, 199 00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:05,378 but I'm a little old-fashioned that way. 200 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,414 Well, that's my story. 201 00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:09,549 If you want to go catch your train, 202 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,951 you're perfectly free to go. 203 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,820 How did you hurt your ankle? 204 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:18,891 Well, the Jeep broke down and I started running here, 205 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:21,294 and I tripped and sprained it. 206 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,029 How did you get back here? 207 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,597 I hopped. 208 00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:29,168 All the way? 209 00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:32,405 Two and a half hours. 210 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,240 I believe this is yours. 211 00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:40,579 Next Sunday? 212 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,781 Please. 213 00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:50,222 ROB (VOICEOVER): Next Sunday, I was in no shape to get married, 214 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,357 but I couldn't tell Laura. 215 00:09:51,457 --> 00:09:53,326 My ankle throbbed, and I had a cold 216 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,694 that would kill a rhinoceros. 217 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,362 My head was so stuffed I couldn't hear one 218 00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:57,563 word the chaplain was saying. 219 00:09:57,663 --> 00:10:00,633 Thou have this woman to be thy wife, 220 00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:03,469 to love, and to cherish, in sickness-- 221 00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:04,704 I do. 222 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,174 I don't. 223 00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:16,749 In sickness, and in health, until death do you part? 224 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:22,488 I do. 225 00:10:22,588 --> 00:10:28,094 And do you Laura, take this man to love, and to cherish, 226 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:31,631 in sickness, and in health, till death do you part? 227 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:33,199 I do. 228 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,369 I do. 229 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,437 I don't. 230 00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:42,241 There be anyone present who knows why these two should not 231 00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:46,479 be joined in lawful wedlock, let him speak now, 232 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,914 or forever hold his peace. 233 00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:52,251 I do. 234 00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:57,923 Well so do I. 235 00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,925 ROB (VOICEOVER): Well, we finally did get married, 236 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:01,494 and one year and nine months later, 237 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:04,830 we were lying in bed waiting impatiently for you know who. 238 00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:09,235 Honey, how do you feel? 239 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,736 Fine. 240 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,738 Honey, how can you read when you know you 241 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,207 might be a mother any minute? 242 00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:18,144 Honey, I'm not going to be a mother any minute. 243 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:19,912 Look, I was with you when your doctor 244 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,180 said it could be any day now. 245 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,216 He said any day, not any minute. 246 00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:26,719 Yeah, but Honey, that was three days ago. 247 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,557 Don't you feel anything funny? 248 00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:33,259 I do feel something. 249 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,160 Funny? 250 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,461 No. 251 00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:37,797 I feel you're going to have a nervous breakdown if you 252 00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:40,399 don't relax and go to sleep. 253 00:11:40,499 --> 00:11:41,300 Now relax. 254 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,301 I'm relaxed! 255 00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:43,869 I'm relaxed! 256 00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:45,638 You don't look it. 257 00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:47,106 Believe me, Darling. 258 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,442 The best thing you can do for me is to go to sleep. 259 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,210 I'll call you if anything happens. 260 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,411 All right, Honey. 261 00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:54,413 I'll try to get some sleep. 262 00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:55,648 You call me if anything happens. 263 00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,483 Who else would I call? 264 00:11:57,583 --> 00:12:00,820 I had a cousin call a cab. 265 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,354 She didn't want to disturb her husband. 266 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,823 I promise I'll disturb you. 267 00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,057 Now go to sleep. 268 00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,293 Honey, what are you reading? 269 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,895 What to do before the doctor comes. 270 00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:11,363 What are you reading that for? 271 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,766 You expect something to happen before the doctor comes? 272 00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:16,302 No Rob, I'm just reading to get sleepy. 273 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,437 Honey, you never have any trouble getting to sleep. 274 00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:19,738 Why can't you go to sleep? 275 00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:22,341 Because I'm married to the noisiest husband 276 00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:24,343 in New York State. 277 00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:25,578 Honey. 278 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,179 All right Honey, I'm just trying to-- 279 00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:27,880 I'll call a cab. 280 00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,448 All right, all right. 281 00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:31,917 You won't hear another word out of me unless you call me. 282 00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:33,252 All right? - All right. 283 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,227 Oh dear. 284 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,161 What's the matter? 285 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,229 What? 286 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,497 What's what? 287 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,698 You said oh dear. 288 00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:47,133 I was just sighing. 289 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,968 Well Honey, at a time like this, 290 00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:51,871 don't sigh unless you really mean it. 291 00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:54,240 I'll try not to. 292 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,207 All right. 293 00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:56,208 LAURA: Good night. 294 00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:57,843 Good night. 295 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,282 [alarm clock] 296 00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:04,283 It's time! 297 00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:11,290 Oh, Rob. 298 00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:12,258 Honey! 299 00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,659 It's all right. 300 00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:15,661 LAURA: Rob, I am perfectly all-- 301 00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:17,062 I'll get the car. I'll call the hospital. 302 00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:18,097 Rob, I am perfectly all right. 303 00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:19,832 I just dropped the alarm clock. 304 00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,538 You didn't feel anything funny? 305 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,672 No. 306 00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:27,606 Look. 307 00:13:27,706 --> 00:13:29,742 In your suit again. 308 00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:31,744 Rob, take those clothes off and go to sleep. 309 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,212 Just never mind about the suit. 310 00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:38,450 He says any day now. 311 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,753 Any day now. 312 00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:42,955 Probably be a week before-- 313 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,491 ROB (VOICEOVER): The next morning, 314 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,794 I went to work looking like I'd slept in a box of prunes. 315 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,029 We all decided I ought to have my suit pressed. 316 00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:26,198 Fast and friendly service, who's got the suit to go? 317 00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:26,966 Oh! 318 00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:27,933 Will you give that to him? 319 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:30,002 Watch out! 320 00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:31,170 Watch out, the pastry. 321 00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:33,105 That got health laws in this state. 322 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:36,342 My goodness, I never saw anything. 323 00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,077 Will you pass it over to the boy-- 324 00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:39,278 In case you want to get rid of it. 325 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,613 Boy, would you get it right back? 326 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,847 I need it badly. Quick. 327 00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,015 What did you do? Sleep in this thing? 328 00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:44,183 Yes, I did. Just go. 329 00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:45,718 Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 330 00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:46,719 You going to buy something? 331 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:47,887 How about a Danish pastry? 332 00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:49,221 - How much? - Press the pants! 333 00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:50,656 I'm going. I'm going! 334 00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:51,590 Oh! 335 00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:53,325 That's hot. 336 00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:55,527 Now, are you all finished with your 337 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,062 own personal little doings? 338 00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:58,364 Yeah, he's here. 339 00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,999 Hey Rob, it's your wife. I think this is it. 340 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:00,933 Oh, hand me the phone! 341 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:01,967 Watch out! 342 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,270 The Danish with the health laws! 343 00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,137 I'm sorry. 344 00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:06,472 I'll pay for it all. 345 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,773 - You're going to pay it? - I'll pay for it. 346 00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:08,841 Walk on em. Look. 347 00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:10,743 Rob, here's the phone. 348 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,344 Right in the eyes. 349 00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:15,281 You want a-- you want a piece of ice? 350 00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:16,081 No thank you. 351 00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:17,483 Hey, meat is good for that. 352 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,985 I got beef bun over there. 353 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,320 Hey Laura? 354 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,655 LAURA: Rob, what happened? Are you all right? 355 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,922 Nothing. I'm all right, Honey. 356 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,057 I'm fine. 357 00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:26,225 I got hit in the head with a phone. 358 00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:27,726 How are you? - Well, I don't know. 359 00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:29,461 I just called the doctor and he said that I have plenty 360 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:30,896 of time, but I should start getting 361 00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:31,997 ready to go to the hospital. 362 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,399 Oh, I love you. 363 00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:34,633 This is it gang! 364 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,902 Hey Rob! 365 00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:37,836 Didn't you forget something? 366 00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:39,471 Oh, hang it up, will you? 367 00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:40,673 Rob! 368 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,707 Your suit. 369 00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:43,175 I can't pick it up tomorrow. 370 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,810 You can't run around New York with your pants off. 371 00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:45,778 Ah! 372 00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,112 Mel, give me your pants. 373 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:48,947 I really need my pants today. 374 00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:50,816 I'm having lunch with a sponsor. 375 00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:52,017 Buddy. 376 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,052 I would, but they'd never fit you. 377 00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:54,186 I don't care what I look like. 378 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:54,954 I just don't want to be arrested. 379 00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,322 Come on, Buddy. 380 00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:58,190 ROB (VOICEOVER): Wearing Buddy's pants, 381 00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,192 I rushed home and got there just in time 382 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:03,796 to smash my car in the driveway. 383 00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,164 Rob! 384 00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:07,099 Honey, how do you feel? 385 00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:09,401 Honey, never-- wha-- what's the matter with you? 386 00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:10,102 Are you all right? 387 00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:11,103 What are those pants? 388 00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:12,604 Never mind my pants, Honey. 389 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,406 Come on. Let's go. 390 00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:15,140 Well Rob! 391 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,475 You can't go mister. 392 00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:18,277 Oh, mister, I want to drive my wife myself. 393 00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:20,846 You, and me, and the car in front of us all locked 394 00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,081 bumpers when you knocked into me. 395 00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:23,415 Well can't we unlock them? 396 00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:24,783 You've got to have a lot of help for that. 397 00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:26,352 We're like welded together. 398 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:28,220 Oh my God. 399 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,555 I'll have to-- I know. Millie. 400 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,156 Millie, call any of the neighbors and ask them. 401 00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:32,658 No, no. I'll do it. 402 00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:33,559 Can I use your phone? 403 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:34,493 Why? 404 00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:35,594 No, I'll use ours. 405 00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:36,495 Where is it? 406 00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:38,564 It's over there. 407 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:39,598 What's their number? 408 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:40,532 Whose? 409 00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:41,467 Anybody's! 410 00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:42,801 Rob, calm down. 411 00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:43,936 We have plenty of time. 412 00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,137 Honey, I want you to sit down. 413 00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:46,071 Don't stand up. 414 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,039 Oh, Rob. 415 00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:48,741 That's it. 416 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:49,708 Hello, operator? 417 00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:50,609 Operator? 418 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:52,044 My wife's having a baby. 419 00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:54,012 Wait a minute, give me the police! 420 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,881 Rob, why don't you just call another taxi? 421 00:16:55,981 --> 00:16:57,349 Yeah, let me call my company. 422 00:16:57,449 --> 00:16:59,051 We'll have another cab here in five minutes. 423 00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:00,586 MILLIE: Yeah Rob, let's call-- 424 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:04,757 There's not going to be any company-- oh, don't hang up! 425 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,459 Hello? 426 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:09,862 Send a squad car here right away. 427 00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,063 Good. 428 00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:12,564 Our troubles are over, Honey. - Rob. 429 00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:14,299 A squad car's coming right down here any minute now. 430 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,434 - Rob. - What's the matter? 431 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,169 You didn't give them our address. 432 00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:19,204 I didn't-- oh my gosh. 433 00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:21,073 ROB (VOICEOVER): A week later, we brought home a baby. 434 00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:22,841 However, certain evidence convinced me 435 00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,410 that the baby wasn't ours. 436 00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,145 So we decided to take his footprints. 437 00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:28,781 There's something very funny about this footprint. 438 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,417 Let's compare them. 439 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,052 I know what's funny about that footprint. 440 00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:36,155 It's got six toes. 441 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,657 Rob, that's your thumb print! 442 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:45,030 Well Jerry, what do you think? 443 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,865 Rob. 444 00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:50,002 I would say that that footprint and that footprint 445 00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:51,603 are from that baby. 446 00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:52,771 Are you sure? 447 00:17:55,841 --> 00:17:56,675 Jerry, are you positive? 448 00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:57,709 Yep. 449 00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,044 That's what I was afraid of. 450 00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:01,547 Read the top line. 451 00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:02,247 Sex, male. 452 00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:05,551 Name, Baby Boy Peters? 453 00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,386 I'm afraid that proves it, Jerry. 454 00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:08,687 Well that proves nothing 455 00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:10,622 Jerry, you said those were both the same. 456 00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:12,491 Well what do I know about footprints? 457 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,059 I'm a dentist. 458 00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:15,594 Wait, Rob, wait. 459 00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,729 Before you tell Laura, at least check with the hospital. 460 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:20,999 All right Jerry, I'll check with them first. 461 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,336 It's probably them checking with me. 462 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:25,437 Hello. 463 00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:28,307 Yes, this is Robert Petrie. 464 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:29,641 Who? 465 00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:30,342 It's Mr. Peters. 466 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,610 What does he want? 467 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:34,513 What do you think? 468 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:35,747 Hello. 469 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,516 Yes Mr. Peters. 470 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,884 That's right. 471 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:42,187 You have something of ours, and we have something of yours. 472 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,790 Dried figs. 473 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,758 She got Laura's aunt's figs. 474 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,861 Mr. Peters. 475 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,530 You don't-- you don't know then. 476 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,065 I see. 477 00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:54,733 Well, Mr. Peters, this is going to be 478 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:56,702 a little hard to tell you. 479 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,238 See, how can I put it? 480 00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:00,506 Look, Mr. Peters. 481 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,774 You know there's a tremendous similarity 482 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,043 between room to 208 and 203. 483 00:19:05,143 --> 00:19:08,046 If you close up the open end of a three, you've got an eight. 484 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,181 Right. 485 00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:10,883 Now there's also a great similarity 486 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,019 between Robert Petrie, yes. 487 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:15,053 Yeah, that's right. 488 00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:16,588 I write for The Alan Brady Show. 489 00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:18,690 Well I'm glad you think our show is funny Mr. Peters, 490 00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:20,626 but I'd like to get this thing settled. 491 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,728 There is also a great similarity, Mr. Peters, 492 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:23,662 between our names. 493 00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:25,063 Peters and Petrie. 494 00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:28,100 Now our wives had a baby in the same day, in the same hospital, 495 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,669 and the hospital was very busy, Mr. Peters. 496 00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:32,604 What am I getting at? 497 00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:35,307 Mr. Peters, let me ask you a personal question. 498 00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:37,910 Who does your baby look like? 499 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,411 Uh-huh? 500 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,180 Well ours doesn't look like neither one of us neither. 501 00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,983 I think I'm making myself very clear Mr. Peters. 502 00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,285 We have each other's babies. 503 00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:47,819 ROB (VOICEOVER): Mr. Peters agreed to come 504 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,254 over and straighten things out. 505 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,323 Now all I had to do was find a good way to tell Laura 506 00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:52,291 that she had the wrong baby. 507 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,326 I love you very much. 508 00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:01,300 Honey, how much do you like that baby. 509 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:08,273 Oh, Rob, don't tell me you're jealous already. 510 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,508 Honey, I'm not-- 511 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:12,010 Oh, that Dr. Spock knows everything. 512 00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:13,412 That man is a genius. 513 00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,547 He doesn't know everything in the whole world. 514 00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:18,350 Laura, did you know the one out of every 50 million women 515 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:19,318 has the wrong baby. 516 00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:20,886 Well that's a cute trick. 517 00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:22,888 How does she manage? 518 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:25,490 Honey, she doesn't have it while she's having it. 519 00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:28,927 After she has it, she has it. 520 00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:33,465 Rob, are you trying to tell me that we have the wrong baby? 521 00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:37,669 You're crazy. 522 00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:39,204 Honey, keep calm. 523 00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:41,006 Honey, I'm perfectly calm. 524 00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:44,810 Our baby is probably just as cute as that one is. 525 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,378 Oh, will you stop? 526 00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:48,213 Where did you ever get such a crazy idea? 527 00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,247 At the hospital! 528 00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:50,215 That's where we got it! 529 00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,384 We got the wrong flowers. 530 00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:55,120 You forgot about the blueberry tarts and the rice pudding 531 00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:56,088 pretty fast, didn't you? 532 00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:57,689 Not to mention dried figs? 533 00:20:57,789 --> 00:21:02,160 Dried-- Rob, this is our baby, and that's all there is to it. 534 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,530 Honey, he doesn't even look like us. 535 00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:06,264 Rob. 536 00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:07,532 You see? 537 00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:10,135 All I see is our baby with a blue foot. 538 00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:12,571 What is that, Rob? 539 00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:13,405 Ink. 540 00:21:13,505 --> 00:21:14,806 How did it get there? 541 00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:17,142 Jerry and I put it on. 542 00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:18,644 Why? 543 00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:21,780 Just running a series of tests. 544 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,715 Rob, there are no series of tests 545 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,217 in the world that are going to convince me 546 00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:26,618 that is not our baby. 547 00:21:26,718 --> 00:21:27,486 Oh, Honey. 548 00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:28,453 I don't blame you. 549 00:21:28,553 --> 00:21:29,921 You can't face the facts. 550 00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:30,856 Poor kid. 551 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:31,957 Oh, Rob. 552 00:21:32,057 --> 00:21:34,092 Well, Honey, that's probably the Peters now. 553 00:21:34,192 --> 00:21:35,227 Brace yourself. 554 00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:36,395 Rob, nobody is taking this baby. 555 00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:37,295 Do you hear me? 556 00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:38,830 Nobody! 557 00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:40,265 Laura, I think it'd be better if you went to your room. 558 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:42,634 I can handle this. 559 00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:45,437 I am staying right here. 560 00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:51,743 MR. PETERS: Hi, we're Mr. And Mrs. Peters. 561 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:52,811 Come in. 562 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:01,953 I believe-- 563 00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:03,822 I believe we have your Aunt Bertha's figs 564 00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:06,625 and you have taken Benny's flowers. 565 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:09,928 Mrs. Peters, won't you come in? 566 00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:21,139 Come and sit down. 567 00:22:21,239 --> 00:22:22,307 Rob? 568 00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:23,475 What do you think? Is it a book? 569 00:22:23,575 --> 00:22:24,476 Oh Rob, it is. 570 00:22:24,576 --> 00:22:25,544 It really is. It is. 571 00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:26,912 I love it. - Do you really? 572 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,346 Yeah, I only read the first chapters. 573 00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:29,281 The rest is good? 574 00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:30,248 Honey, better. 575 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,249 I improve as I get along. 576 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,918 I start to use punctuation. 577 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:34,753 Everything. 578 00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:36,421 If you were a publisher, and you didn't know me, 579 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,190 didn't know I'd written it, would you publish it? 580 00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:39,458 - You mean Is it good? - Yeah. 581 00:22:39,558 --> 00:22:40,859 Yeah, Rob. 582 00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:41,793 It really is. 583 00:22:41,893 --> 00:22:43,128 Well boy, I'm glad to hear that. 584 00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:44,296 Because I sent it to a publisher. 585 00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:45,831 If he turns me down, you got a deal. 586 00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:46,798 Oh my. 587 00:22:46,898 --> 00:22:47,733 Yeah, Honey. 588 00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:50,802 I am-- I don't-- 589 00:22:50,902 --> 00:22:52,170 You OK? 590 00:22:52,270 --> 00:22:53,338 No, read. 591 00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:54,606 Go ahead and read. 592 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,246 You mean he wouldn't even give you a hint 593 00:23:01,346 --> 00:23:02,814 about what the surprise was? 594 00:23:02,914 --> 00:23:04,850 No, he just said I'm bringing Alan Brady and the gang home 595 00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:05,684 to make a party. 596 00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:06,752 I'll bet it's about the book. 597 00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:07,886 I bet he found a publisher. 598 00:23:07,986 --> 00:23:09,187 Oh, do you think so? 599 00:23:09,287 --> 00:23:10,322 Hi Honey. 600 00:23:10,422 --> 00:23:12,457 Hey, hi! 601 00:23:12,557 --> 00:23:13,925 [interposing voices] - Hi, Jere. 602 00:23:14,025 --> 00:23:14,860 Laura, how are you? 603 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:15,627 Jerry! 604 00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:16,895 [interposing voices] 605 00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:18,397 We're not nearly ready for dinner, Rob. 606 00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:19,998 Are you ready for a little bit of good news? 607 00:23:20,098 --> 00:23:21,166 Yeah, I think so. 608 00:23:21,266 --> 00:23:22,934 I heard from the publisher today. 609 00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:23,869 Yeah? 610 00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:25,537 He hates it, boy. 611 00:23:25,637 --> 00:23:28,039 He said it reminded him of about 50 other books. 612 00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:29,608 - He's kidding? - No, no. 613 00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:30,509 That's what they said. 614 00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:31,476 That's right. 615 00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:32,611 One editor said it stunk. 616 00:23:32,711 --> 00:23:33,845 Well, why is everyone so happy? 617 00:23:33,945 --> 00:23:36,014 Because Alan read it, and he loved it. 618 00:23:36,114 --> 00:23:37,549 What do I know from style? 619 00:23:37,649 --> 00:23:40,619 Honey, Alan wants to produce it as a television series. 620 00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:43,188 Your book's going to be a television series? 621 00:23:43,288 --> 00:23:44,523 It's true. 622 00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:45,824 Of course, I won't do it until after my series 623 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:47,659 is defunct, which may never be. 624 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,861 Alan is going to play me. 625 00:23:49,961 --> 00:23:51,730 Yeah, the three of us are going to write it, 626 00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:53,565 and Leonard Bershad is going to produce it. 627 00:23:53,665 --> 00:23:57,436 [interposing voices] 628 00:23:57,536 --> 00:23:58,670 Wait. 629 00:23:58,770 --> 00:23:59,905 Hold it, hold it a second. 630 00:24:00,005 --> 00:24:01,406 Honey, what do you think? - Oh, gosh. 631 00:24:01,506 --> 00:24:02,440 I don't know what to say. 632 00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:03,675 Alan's really going to play you? 633 00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,177 And Rob won't have to shave his head. 634 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,945 I'll wear a toupee. 635 00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:07,913 Isn't that terrific? 636 00:24:08,013 --> 00:24:08,613 Yeah! 637 00:24:08,713 --> 00:24:09,748 Who's going to play me? 638 00:24:09,848 --> 00:24:10,515 Oh. 639 00:24:10,615 --> 00:24:11,883 Great comedian. - Who? 640 00:24:11,983 --> 00:24:12,984 Who? 641 00:24:13,084 --> 00:24:14,853 Martha Diller. 642 00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,888 Martha Diller? 643 00:24:16,988 --> 00:24:17,589 With the-- 644 00:24:17,689 --> 00:24:18,890 It was my idea. 645 00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:20,258 LAURA: Really? 646 00:24:20,358 --> 00:24:21,393 Is that definite, Rob? 647 00:24:21,493 --> 00:24:22,561 Yes. Yes. 648 00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:23,762 Hey, who's going to play me? 649 00:24:23,862 --> 00:24:25,163 Your part will be cartoon. 650 00:24:27,999 --> 00:24:28,667 Oh my gosh. 651 00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:29,668 SALLY: What's the matter? 652 00:24:29,768 --> 00:24:31,236 Well, I was just thinking. 653 00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:35,073 Laura's so pretty, and if Martha Diller is going to play her, 654 00:24:35,173 --> 00:24:36,141 who's going to play me? 655 00:24:36,241 --> 00:24:38,176 Oh, come on. 656 00:24:38,276 --> 00:24:41,847 [interposing voices] 657 00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:52,591 [theme music] 43369

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