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[theme music]
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ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show."
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Starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry
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Matthews, and Mary Tyler Moore.
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Oh boy, this is going to be a swell party.
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Real champagne, cloth napkins, clean plates.
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Clean plates?
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You sure we're supposed to be here?
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I don't know.
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All I know is my mom and dad told us to have a party,
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and said we can invite the whole world if we wanted to.
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Well, if this is the whole world, I want to get off.
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Hey, how come Jerry isn't here?
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He's giving a lecture on wisdom teeth.
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It's not easy to be a dentists wife.
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I'm finding it hard to be anybody's wife.
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Hey Rob, maybe they're giving you the party for a surprise
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for your birthday.
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It's not my birthday.
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Perfect, you'd never suspect.
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Oh hi honey, let me help you.
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Laura, do you know what this party's all about?
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No.
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Hey Rob, maybe your folks are splitting up.
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They'd never throw a party for that.
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Well, Pickles and I would.
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Listen, I know what the surprise is Laura.
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Your in-laws are going to move in with you.
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Oh, I don't think so.
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Gee, I'd like to have in-laws move in with me.
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And bring their son.
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Well, you can stop wondering about it now.
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Hey, if they got police then shut the door quick.
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Hi mom.
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- Hi. - Dad.
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Hi Rob.
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My boy.
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Hug Laura.
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Hi mother.
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Everybody here?
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Yeah.
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Hey, is the surprise out in the car?
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Come on, I'll help you get it.
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No, it's right here in this room.
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Is it bigger than a breadbox?
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Oh, yes and no.
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What is it dad?
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Well, I won't tell you until we've had something to eat,
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I don't tell surprises on an empty stomach.
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Come on, come on give us a hint.
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Well, I'll tell you this much.
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The surprise will affect the life of someone
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here in this room tonight.
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Gee, I certainly hope it's me.
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Yeah, me too.
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Oh, that was delicious.
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Boy, your dinner set me back 10,000 calories.
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Yeah, that eggplant was great.
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Laura, you're such a good hostess.
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Well, I'm not so sure about that.
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What?
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You didn't eat all your carrots and peas.
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Oh mom.
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You know, he never did clean up his plate even as a child.
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Then I wouldn't let him have his dessert.
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Dad, you said to wait till after dinner.
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Can we hear the surprise now?
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Yeah, yeah I'm ready now.
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Put a head on that, will you son.
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Oh, OK.
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I suppose you're all wondering why we're here.
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Yeah, I'll drink to that.
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I want to propose a toast to Laura.
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To me?
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Yeah.
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Laura is our little surprise.
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You're going to have a baby?
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No, she's not.
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Well, why are we here?
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Not very many people realize it,
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it but we Petrie's, underneath our rough exterior,
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have a pretty sentimental foundation.
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Is that it?
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Is that the surprise?
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Yeah.
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We're pretty sentimental, and we think
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a lot of our little family.
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Although Clara never did like Laura.
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Stop.
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Well, if we're going to beat the rain we better get going.
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I have always liked Laura.
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It's just that she was hard to understand.
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And it's not because we weren't invited to the wedding.
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Oh, mom.
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[inaudible] I was in the army.
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Well, don't I know you were in the army.
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Didn't I cry every time I saw the star in the window?
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Oh, well that's all water under the bridge now.
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Yeah, and that's why we're here.
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To officially accept Laura as a member of the Petrie family.
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Well that's funny, I accepted her the day Richie was born.
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I'll drink to that.
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Most of us did.
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But, we Petrie's have a family tradition.
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Yeah, of not getting to the point.
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We're here to pass on the family heirloom
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to the wife of the first married son.
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Well, Congratulations honey.
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I never thought you'd make it.
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Oh, you knew about this?
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Oh well, I knew there was a family heirloom.
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You know, after nine years I thought maybe
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you were out of the running.
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When do we get to see it?
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Yeah, I've never seen an heirloom close up before.
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You've seen my wife.
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Well, I have it right here.
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Come on over Laura and get the pin.
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What is that?
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Well, it's the United States in broach form.
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Solid gold.
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What have you got to say about that now daughter?
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Gosh mother, dad.
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There.
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I don't know if I deserve this.
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I mean, I hope I justify your trust and--
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and when Richie gets married--
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I trust that whoever the girl is,
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you will make sure that she deserves that.
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Hey, why don't we get some kid now and put her on probation.
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Well, thank you both.
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And I'll always treasure it.
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Really something, isn't it?
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Oh my, yes.
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It's so unusual.
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It's the only one of its kind.
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Oh, I'm sure of that.
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Isn't it so very interesting?
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Oh, yes.
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Yeah.
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It's not only interesting.
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It's so big.
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I mean, marvelously big.
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Yeah, well that little pin there tells the history
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of the whole Petrie family.
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Each diamond represents the birthplace of a male Petrie.
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Now, that little blue diamond in New Rochelle is for Richie.
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Yeah, that's-- that's me in Danville honey.
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Isn't that cute?
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Oh.
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And that's me up there in Seattle.
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So, you see Laura, on your chest
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we have placed the proud tradition of the Petrie family.
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So, be proud.
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When you wear it, hold your head up high.
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Well, I'll certainly try.
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I'll do my best.
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That's quite a little heirloom.
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It has a family curse and everything.
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Sam.
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A curse?
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Yeah, of beauty.
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I never heard anything about a curse.
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What's the curse?
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Oh, there isn't any curse.
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Well, when a mans stone drops out, he dies.
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I'd call that a curse, wouldn't you?
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OK, that's probably one of the top 10 curses.
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Would you see that empty setting there in Pittsburgh?
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That was Uncle Jonah.
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Was?
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Yeah, stone dropped out, Uncle Jonah drop dead.
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Pow.
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Well, Uncle Jonah was an old man.
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He was 87.
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But, he died and that's the important thing.
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But Sam, it was six months later.
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There's nothing more horrible than a slow, lingering death.
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Sam Petrie, one more word out of you and I'm leaving.
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Threaten me again Clair, I'll knock my own stone out.
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Now Laura, don't you worry about any silly old curse dear.
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You just cherish that, and enjoy it the same as I did.
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Well, thank you mother.
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And I'll certainly take very, very good care of it.
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Well, I certainly hope you do.
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Of course, I had hoped to wear it at Rob's wedding--
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Oh, mom.
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Don't worry Mrs. Petrie, you may get another chance.
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Oh, no.
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As long as the rest of the family's accepted her,
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I'll accept her myself.
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Oh boy.
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Well, I guess I'll see about dessert.
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Oh, can I help you, honey?
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Would you?
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Yeah, excuse us.
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Isn't that brooch beautiful?
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Pound for pound, that's one of the top 10 brooches
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in the whole business.
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I'll drink to that.
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How do you like the brooch?
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Oh, it's beautiful.
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Well, what was that for?
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Well, you're kind of cute when you're lying.
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How come them you never told me about this?
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I was afraid you'd leave me, that's why.
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Bet you never thought the family heirloom
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was a map of the United States.
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No.
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I really don't know whether to wear it or keep
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it in the glove compartment.
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Well, now you know why I wanted my brother
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to get married first.
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I guess we shouldn't laugh though.
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With a curse on it and all.
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Yeah.
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Although I think the real curse is having to wear it.
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It's going to ruin every blouse I own.
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Well, just look at it this way honey.
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It's not the thought, it's the ugliness behind it.
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Well, I know what you mean.
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And it was a very nice gesture.
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Only--
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Only what?
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Well, I'm just not the type to wear it.
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I mean, your mother can get away with it.
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But-- - I beg your pardon.
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Well darling, let's face it.
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I just don't look very good with a map of the United
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States pinned to my chest.
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Honey, there is no type.
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Well, your mother is.
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Well listen, your mother's not exactly Mrs. Fashion plate
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either you know.
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Oh, well now Rob.
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As far as taste is concerned--
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You want to talk about taste?
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What about those crazy dandelions?
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What dandelions?
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That dumb hat that your mother wears all the time.
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Oh, Darling there's one big difference.
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You see, my mother didn't give you the dandelion hat to wear.
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Why are you bringing my mother into this anyway?
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Why not? You brought my mother into it.
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Well, you're the one who said the brooch is ugly.
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Honey, let's not argue about that.
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All right, there's no argument about that.
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- You going to do the dishes? - No, why?
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When you do I want to help you.
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I want to make sure you don't throw
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that down the garbage disposal.
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But Darling, it could only improve it.
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[music playing]
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Oh Millie, you don't have to help with the dishes.
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Good, I'll see you tomorrow.
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Aw, come on I always help you.
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OK.
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Listen, that was a good party.
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It's too bad the occasion didn't live up to the celebration.
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Yeah.
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Boy, I may have bad taste, but that thing.
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Who'd ever think gold and diamonds could be so ugly.
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Yeah.
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You know, I'm beginning to wonder if that thing does
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have a curse.
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Rob and I almost had an argument about it.
267
00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:33,205
You mean he likes it?
268
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,407
No, no.
269
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:35,841
But, it led to a discussion of mothers.
270
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,479
What was that?
271
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:42,848
Oh, I hope it's not one of my good spoons.
272
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,751
Listen, I don't have a decent teaspoon left.
273
00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:47,987
Whatever it is it's stuck.
274
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,522
It doesn't feel like a spoon.
275
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:51,624
Maybe it's a fork.
276
00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:53,559
Millie, where's my brooch?
277
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:54,927
How should I know?
278
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:57,630
I put it right there Millie.
279
00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:58,764
Oh, how could you?
280
00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:00,433
That's where I put the cake plates!
281
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,636
Oh listen, you don't think they were all sticky and everything.
282
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,738
You don't think-- Oh, that's what happened!
283
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:09,475
Oh Millie, that's just what Rob said would happen.
284
00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:12,378
Oh, I hope it's not a total disaster.
285
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:16,248
Honey, bad news.
286
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,917
Wonderful.
287
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:18,951
Hey, that's the attitude.
288
00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:21,354
Just roll with those punches.
289
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,455
I was just putting them in the car
290
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:23,456
and mother said she wants to take
291
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:24,457
us to dinner Saturday night.
292
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:25,658
Oh, that's not so bad.
293
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:26,826
Well, it's to celebrate the brooch.
294
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:28,027
She wants you to wear it.
295
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,061
Oh, Rob.
296
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,730
Well honey, don't worry about it.
297
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:33,299
We'll eat in a dark restaurant.
298
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,001
Rob, I just can't.
299
00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:37,403
I mean, well the only dress I have clean
300
00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:38,637
is a low cut strapless.
301
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:39,705
Where would I wear the pin?
302
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,240
Won't work.
303
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:44,477
My folks will expect you to have your shoulder pierced.
304
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,745
I don't blame you honey.
305
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,446
It just this once, huh?
306
00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:48,748
You'll just [inaudible] well.
307
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:50,583
And whenever else my mother comes to town.
308
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:51,617
Yeah.
309
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:52,918
I'm going to put the cat out.
310
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,086
You don't have a cat.
311
00:10:54,186 --> 00:10:56,088
The Stein's cat is in my car again.
312
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:04,130
Oh, oh, oh.
313
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,197
Oh.
314
00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:09,068
Oh Millie, how am I going to wear that?
315
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:09,802
Wow.
316
00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:10,970
You know something?
317
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,772
Maybe there is a curse on that thing.
318
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:15,408
Well, if that's true you, and I just wiped
319
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,811
out the entire Petrie family.
320
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,479
What's Rob going to say?
321
00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:22,348
Oh, nothing.
322
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:23,682
Jerry would kill me.
323
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:25,117
No, not Rob.
324
00:11:25,217 --> 00:11:25,918
Really?
325
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,254
I'm not going to tell him.
326
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:31,957
Well, there's Danville, New Rochelle,
327
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:35,361
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
328
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:39,765
Ladies, may I help you?
329
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,434
Are you Mr. Matthews?
330
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,802
No.
331
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:43,903
Well, who's the one that changed the initials
332
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,704
on Mrs. Dine's serving tray?
333
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:46,639
That was me.
334
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,207
I'm Mr. Mark.
335
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,543
Matthew's, Marks, I knew it was something from the Bible.
336
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:51,877
Do you repair jewelry?
337
00:11:51,977 --> 00:11:53,045
I'd rather sell it.
338
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:54,914
Well, I need something repaired.
339
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:57,116
When you're not buying, I'm repairing.
340
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,452
All right, let's see what's going on.
341
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,287
All right, right over here please.
342
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,955
Thank you.
343
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:08,828
These little stones go in those little holes.
344
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:09,929
Can you fix it?
345
00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:11,063
Well, that depends.
346
00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:11,764
On what?
347
00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:14,500
On what it is.
348
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,468
It's a brooch.
349
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,936
It was a brooch, hey?
350
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,538
Now, could you describe what it looked
351
00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:21,207
like before it was run over?
352
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:22,241
Yes.
353
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,610
It looked like the United States.
354
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,011
Of America?
355
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,480
Yeah.
356
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,615
Isn't that dumb?
357
00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:31,317
Is that an award or something?
358
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,485
Yeah, in a way.
359
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,687
It was a gift.
360
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:35,754
Do you think you can fix it?
361
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,790
If I can't fix it, nobody can.
362
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,158
Then you can fix it?
363
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,192
Nobody can.
364
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,965
It's too far gone, it's too broken up.
365
00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,700
What is that state that sticks out?
366
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:48,868
Florida.
367
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,070
Oh, well that went down the drain.
368
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:54,240
Couldn't you glue on a new Florida?
369
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,040
I don't know.
370
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:56,675
Maybe I could do something.
371
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,078
United States.
372
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:02,882
Uh, you wouldn't settle for Czechoslovakia, would you?
373
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,586
No, I'm afraid not.
374
00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:09,088
A Cock-eyed Poland?
375
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,824
No, it's the United States or nothing.
376
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,392
You've got it.
377
00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:15,194
Nothing.
378
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:18,330
Listen, your mother-in-law is going to kill you.
379
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:19,798
Your mother-in-law gave you this?
380
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:20,733
Yes.
381
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:23,035
Say no more.
382
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:26,305
Do you know what my gave us for our wedding gift?
383
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:27,706
What?
384
00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:31,944
An oil painting of Coney Island.
385
00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:35,014
If you describe it, maybe I could make you a new one.
386
00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:38,050
Well, as I said it's shaped like the United States.
387
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,553
That I can get from my grandson's geography.
388
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:45,391
And there's a diamond to show where each Petrie was born.
389
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:46,392
What's a Petrie?
390
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:50,696
I'm a Petrie.
391
00:13:50,796 --> 00:13:52,131
That's our name.
392
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:56,368
Oh, probably was Petrovski before they changed it.
393
00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:58,270
All right, and where do the stones go?
394
00:13:58,370 --> 00:13:59,672
Where do the rest of the stones go?
395
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:03,008
Well, there's one in Illinois.
396
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:04,577
Oh, that's around Chicago, yes.
397
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:05,911
Yes.
398
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,713
And there's one right here in New Rochelle.
399
00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:08,781
Oh, that's easy.
400
00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:09,915
That's the cute little blue one.
401
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,550
The blue one, I got you.
402
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:12,952
Right here.
403
00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:15,287
All right, and what about the rest of the stones?
404
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:16,055
Where do they go?
405
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:17,790
That's all I remember.
406
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,358
All right, I'll tell you what I will do.
407
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:21,627
I will make you up a new United States.
408
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:23,128
Brand new.
409
00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:24,763
And when you find out where the rest of the stones go,
410
00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:25,698
you call me.
411
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,499
Oh, that's wonderful.
412
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:28,801
Can you have it by Saturday?
413
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:30,102
Saturday?
414
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,338
Impossible, absolutely impossible.
415
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,640
Well, we'll just have to try another jeweler.
416
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:35,941
Nothing is that impossible.
417
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,710
You'll have it Saturday.
418
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:41,180
Thank you very much.
419
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,748
Gee Millie, how am I going to ask Rob
420
00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:44,216
where those other stones lived?
421
00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:48,887
It's easy, you just flirt while you're asking.
422
00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:51,557
[music playing]
423
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:24,256
What was that for?
424
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:27,493
Oh Darling, what do I usually kiss you for?
425
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,795
Oh yeah, for wearing a shaving lotion.
426
00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:31,997
But I'm not wearing it.
427
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,400
But you're still irresistible.
428
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:35,467
Thanks.
429
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:38,003
So, red five on the black six there.
430
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,673
Oh, thank you.
431
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,675
Solitaire's nice.
432
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:43,876
Helps pass the time.
433
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,778
Yeah.
434
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:48,981
I do the same thing.
435
00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:50,482
When I do the dishes.
436
00:15:50,582 --> 00:15:53,585
Don't the cards get a little soggy?
437
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:57,056
Well no, I mean I just make up little games
438
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:59,591
to help pass the time, take my mind off the work.
439
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:00,926
Oh, good.
440
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:02,461
You want to know what kinds of little games?
441
00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:04,196
No.
442
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:05,497
I'm sorry, what kind of games?
443
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:07,800
Well, just, you know, silly little games.
444
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:11,937
Kind of like all the presidents of the United States,
445
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,739
and the state capitals.
446
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:15,908
Oh, that's nice.
447
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:18,410
Like just now when I was doing the dishes
448
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:21,947
I was trying to remember where all the stones on the brooch
449
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:23,549
go.
450
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,217
I need a black seven.
451
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,686
Well, why don't you put your duce up there.
452
00:16:27,786 --> 00:16:29,988
Oh, thank you.
453
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,624
I didn't do too well with the brooch game.
454
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:35,928
Well, that's too bad, but it's kind of a tough game honey.
455
00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:37,563
Wow, is it.
456
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,231
I only got two.
457
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:42,434
I bet you couldn't really come up with too many either.
458
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:43,602
Oh, probably not.
459
00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:45,437
Oh, I bet you can.
460
00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:47,506
Why don't you try?
461
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:48,407
OK.
462
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:49,541
What is it?
463
00:16:49,641 --> 00:16:52,711
There's Danville, and there's New Rochelle.
464
00:16:52,811 --> 00:17:00,886
Rumsen, Trenton, Phoenix, Syracuse, Detroit,
465
00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:02,588
Seattle, and St. Louis.
466
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:03,555
And that's all.
467
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:04,256
Where's Rumsen?
468
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,290
It's on Sandy Hook.
469
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:06,792
You know it, it's in New Jersey.
470
00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:08,293
What are you doing?
471
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:14,433
I'm, uh, writing them down.
472
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:15,634
What for?
473
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:19,438
So I can study for the next time I play the game.
474
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,073
Study?
475
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:23,509
It's silly Rob, forget about it.
476
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,878
Honey, why study when you can look at the brooch?
477
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,814
Well, that would be cheating.
478
00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:31,083
It's silly Rob, just forget about it.
479
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:32,551
You can look at the brooch, can't you?
480
00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:33,552
Oh look.
481
00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:34,720
There's the black 7 you were looking
482
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,021
for right under the red 6.
483
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:36,722
Honey, why can't you look at the brooch?
484
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:39,892
You lost it. - No, I didn't--
485
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:40,793
It's been stolen.
486
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,294
No, it wasn't stolen.
487
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,529
Honey, something terrible has happened to the brooch.
488
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,431
Now, make it easy on us just tell me.
489
00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,132
Rob, you remember the other night
490
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:49,068
when you said that I was going to throw the brooch
491
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:50,736
down the garbage disposal?
492
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,337
You did!
493
00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:53,405
No!
494
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:55,941
I dropped it down the garbage disposal.
495
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,042
The Petrie brooch?
496
00:17:57,142 --> 00:17:58,210
Yes Rob. It was an accident.
497
00:17:58,310 --> 00:17:59,211
In the Garbage
498
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:01,080
I didn't do it on purpose.
499
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,581
Well, why did you do not on purpose?
500
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:04,450
Oh Rob, what kind of a question is that?
501
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:08,987
Well honey, when a wife grinds up the husband's family--
502
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,223
what you--
503
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:14,059
But Rob, I said it was an accident.
504
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:15,294
Why you could have--
505
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:16,195
You could have lost it.
506
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:17,796
You could have sold it.
507
00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:18,697
You could have dropped--
508
00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:20,132
But your grind it.
509
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:22,968
Rob, I didn't grind it on purpose.
510
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:25,504
Oh boy, honey, ugly or not, my family's
511
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:29,808
kept that brooch in perfect condition for 1,000 years.
512
00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:30,909
Well, Rob.
513
00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:32,244
And you--
514
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:34,179
I'm having the brooch replaced.
515
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:36,014
And I said I'm sorry.
516
00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:38,484
I mean, what more can a person do?
517
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,789
Don't cry.
518
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:45,858
Well really Rob.
519
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,726
Well, I'm sorry I made you cry.
520
00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:49,728
I'm sorry I said anything to make you cry.
521
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:52,898
I'm sorry you dropped the brooch down the garbage disposal.
522
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:54,833
Are you really sorry?
523
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:57,169
Yeah, of course I am honey.
524
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,637
Wait a minute, why am I sorry?
525
00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:01,707
You know Rob, I don't blame you for being mad at me.
526
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:02,641
It was so stupid.
527
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:05,043
But, it really wasn't all my fault.
528
00:19:05,143 --> 00:19:06,311
Well, you don't have to explain.
529
00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:07,913
What do you mean it wasn't all your fault?
530
00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,481
Well, I--
531
00:19:09,581 --> 00:19:12,251
It was nobody's fault. I put the brooch there on the counter,
532
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,152
and then Millie came over to help me do the dishes
533
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,255
and there was cake stuck on the bottom of it.
534
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:18,056
And the pin must've been stuck on it.
535
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,291
And it went--
536
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:22,494
I see.
537
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:24,029
For a second there I thought you were going to pin
538
00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:25,230
part of this disaster on me.
539
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:26,198
Well no.
540
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:29,101
I wouldn't do that.
541
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:30,369
Are you going to tell your mother?
542
00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:32,671
Oh no, of course not honey.
543
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:33,805
You promise?
544
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,808
Yeah, I promise.
545
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,844
Now you're an accessory.
546
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:41,413
Huh?
547
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,815
It's not going to get here on time Rob.
548
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,017
Honey, I called the jeweller.
549
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:46,051
They said it left over an hour ago.
550
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:46,985
I'll be here any minute.
551
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:48,820
So will your parents.
552
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,756
What if somebody robbed the messenger?
553
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,558
One look and they'll give it back.
554
00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:59,798
Well, that's either the pin or my parents.
555
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:04,236
I feel like the guy in the story, the lady or the tiger.
556
00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:06,038
Oh, it's him.
557
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:08,407
I hope it's in time.
558
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:10,642
Oh, it's beautiful, it's beautiful.
559
00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:12,477
Really.
560
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:13,946
I'll be right with you folks.
561
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:18,383
It's beautiful, just beautiful!
562
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:19,985
I said just a minute!
563
00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:21,286
Thank you very, very much.
564
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,254
Well, I'm Mr. Mark.
565
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:23,255
Mr. Mark.
566
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:24,756
No, no, no I own the store.
567
00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:26,825
Oh, I'm sorry.
568
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:29,328
Come right in folks.
569
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:30,429
Honey, it's mom and dad.
570
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:31,697
Well, who was that?
571
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:33,599
A delivery boy.
572
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:37,202
Well, why did you slam the door in our faces?
573
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:38,236
Laura was undressed.
574
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:39,671
I didn't want you to see her.
575
00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:43,141
Oh, the delivery boy could see her but we couldn't?
576
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,710
Well no.
577
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,345
She was-- She wasn't undressed, she didn't have the pin on.
578
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:47,913
We wanted you to see her with the pin on.
579
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:48,847
It's mom and dad.
580
00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:50,148
Hi mom and dad.
581
00:20:50,248 --> 00:20:51,950
Hug Laura.
582
00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:54,553
Laura dear.
583
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:55,621
Mother.
584
00:20:55,721 --> 00:21:00,025
Oh Sam, doesn't it look nice on Laura.
585
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:00,959
Well, of course.
586
00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:02,628
She's a real Petrie now.
587
00:21:02,728 --> 00:21:04,096
I'm a real Petrie all right.
588
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:05,163
Yup.
589
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,498
Hey, where are we going to eat?
590
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,467
Oh, I thought we'd go to the spotlight room.
591
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:09,601
The spotlight room?
592
00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:11,103
Yeah fine, the brighter the better.
593
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,070
[screaming]
594
00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:13,138
What's wrong?
595
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:16,074
Uncle Jonah, he's come back.
596
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,179
What?
597
00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:23,315
The stone is back in Pittsburgh.
598
00:21:23,415 --> 00:21:24,783
Oh, is that all?
599
00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:26,385
Well, they probably had him replaced.
600
00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:28,487
Yeah, we probably had him replaced.
601
00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:34,359
But, Richie isn't in New Rochelle, he's in Seattle.
602
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:36,228
What are you talking about Claire?
603
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:38,830
Why, the whole brooch is different.
604
00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:39,931
Holy smokes!
605
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:42,000
I'm in Denver now.
606
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,102
The whole family is cursed.
607
00:21:44,202 --> 00:21:45,437
Well, don't be silly.
608
00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:46,938
You have see that thing a couple of days now.
609
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,273
You probably forgot.
610
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:50,842
Oh Rob, you don't forget a family heirloom.
611
00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:53,312
Rob, it's no use.
612
00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:55,514
Mother, you're going to go back to hating me.
613
00:21:55,614 --> 00:21:59,951
But, the other night I accidentally dropped the brooch
614
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:01,720
down the garbage disposal.
615
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:04,890
And it was accidentally ground up.
616
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,959
I was so ashamed, that I took it to a jeweler
617
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,594
and I had him make a duplicate.
618
00:22:09,695 --> 00:22:12,964
Sam, Sam get me a chair.
619
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:13,932
A hard one.
620
00:22:14,032 --> 00:22:15,067
Oh, mother.
621
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,001
There you are.
622
00:22:16,101 --> 00:22:17,436
Sit.
623
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:19,738
Mother, I don't blame you for what you're thinking
624
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,239
because believe me, I've been thinking
625
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,641
the very same thing myself.
626
00:22:22,741 --> 00:22:25,911
I'm just so ashamed, and so sorry.
627
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,112
I don't know what to say.
628
00:22:27,212 --> 00:22:28,480
She really is.
629
00:22:28,580 --> 00:22:31,516
Oh, what she did.
630
00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:33,285
Well mom, it was an accident.
631
00:22:33,385 --> 00:22:34,820
She said she's sorry.
632
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:39,424
Going to all that trouble to duplicate that ugly brooch.
633
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:42,594
Ugly?
634
00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:43,995
You know it's ugly?
635
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:48,033
Why do you think I always wore it under a jacket?
636
00:22:48,133 --> 00:22:50,302
Well mom, if you didn't like it, why did you wear it at all?
637
00:22:50,402 --> 00:22:53,705
It stood for family, that's why.
638
00:22:53,805 --> 00:22:58,310
And now this new brooch can stand for just as much.
639
00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:00,145
Even more.
640
00:23:00,245 --> 00:23:02,214
Why, it must have taken a fortune
641
00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:04,683
to duplicate that thing.
642
00:23:04,783 --> 00:23:06,685
I told you you'd like her if you got to know her.
643
00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:09,554
Boy, a family crisis really gives you an appetite.
644
00:23:09,654 --> 00:23:10,989
I'm hungry, let's go eat.
645
00:23:11,089 --> 00:23:13,625
Well, Laura don't you want to go and change
646
00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:15,227
your clothes first dear?
647
00:23:15,327 --> 00:23:16,628
Why?
648
00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:19,998
You know, put on something with a nice jacket.
649
00:23:20,098 --> 00:23:22,467
Oh, mom.
650
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:26,104
I don't care who sees it tonight.
651
00:23:26,204 --> 00:23:29,674
I've been telling you for nine years she wasn't all bad.
652
00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:31,510
Honey, what did the brooch cost?
653
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:33,979
Well, it was--
654
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,046
Uh, dad.
655
00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:36,114
Your dinner's on you tonight.
656
00:23:42,287 --> 00:23:46,525
I still think $20 is too much to pay for steamed vegetables.
657
00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:49,828
But Sam, there were little pieces of chicken and pork
658
00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:50,796
in it.
659
00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:52,731
Well, all I got was that darn grass.
660
00:23:52,831 --> 00:23:54,866
Well dad, you said you liked Chinese food.
661
00:23:54,966 --> 00:23:56,134
Oh, I know.
662
00:23:56,234 --> 00:23:58,036
But I'm not going to be cooperative that way anymore.
663
00:23:58,136 --> 00:23:59,204
I'm still hungry.
664
00:23:59,304 --> 00:24:01,006
Well, I'll go put some coffee on.
665
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:01,973
Well thanks.
666
00:24:02,073 --> 00:24:04,042
And get some cheese and crackers.
667
00:24:04,142 --> 00:24:06,011
You got any oatmeal?
668
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:07,712
I feel hungry.
669
00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:10,315
Dad, you had the best time of anybody.
670
00:24:10,415 --> 00:24:11,850
And you also got the best fortune cookie.
671
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:12,784
Oh, I know it.
672
00:24:12,884 --> 00:24:14,019
I was just toying around with you.
673
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,688
I never saw mother enjoy a party more.
674
00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:20,625
I just can't get over what our Laura did.
675
00:24:20,725 --> 00:24:22,394
You know Claire, I don't think we
676
00:24:22,494 --> 00:24:23,495
ought to wait till next year.
677
00:24:23,595 --> 00:24:24,496
For what?
678
00:24:24,596 --> 00:24:25,831
To give Laura the earrings.
679
00:24:30,602 --> 00:24:31,403
Earrings?
680
00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:32,337
Yeah.
681
00:24:32,437 --> 00:24:33,505
Hawaii and Alaska.
682
00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:34,739
What do you say to that?
683
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:41,746
How about I start wearing my hair like this.
684
00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:42,881
I did.
685
00:24:46,117 --> 00:24:50,889
[theme music]
46907
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