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[MUSIC - THEME, "THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW"]
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PRESENTER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show,"
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starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry
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Matthew, and Mary Tyler Moore.
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Are you awake, Daddy?
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Richie, Daddy is asleep.
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Could you read me this, Daddy?
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Richie, please.
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It's Daddy's day off.
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Now I'm sleeping.
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Richie, what are you doing in here?
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You know you're not supposed to bother Daddy when he's asleep.
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What are you doing with that tray?
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Trying to read it.
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Here, Mommy, read it.
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ROB: Laura.
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[clang]
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That does it, I might just as well get up.
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No, don't.
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Go back to sleep, darling, your eyelids are still closed.
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I know, but I'm awake under there.
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Doggone it, honey couldn't you read him the tray?
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I wanted to sleep at least 9 o'clock.
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What time is it?
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11:30.
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Give me the tray.
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Oh, boy.
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Oh.
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It says, to Sergeant Petrie, good luck and happiness
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on your marriage.
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Where'd you find this, Rich?
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In the basement.
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There's more, darling.
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I know there's more.
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To Laura.
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In case he backs out again, you can marry us.
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Company E. 35th, Battalion, Camp Crowder, Missouri.
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Did you try and back out of marrying Mommy, Daddy?
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Oh, not really, Rich.
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I just had a little trouble getting
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to the chapel, that's all.
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Why?
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Well, it's a long, long story, Rich.
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I'll tell you some other time.
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Tell it to me now, Daddy.
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There's nothing good on television yet.
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Richie, Daddy hasn't even had a cup of coffee yet.
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I tell you what, darling, I'll make the coffee,
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and you tell Rich the story.
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Breakfast in bed?
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OK.
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You've got a deal.
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[clang]
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Sorry, darling.
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And listen, don't tell a word of that story till I get back.
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I want to hear your version.
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OK.
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Is it hard to ask someone to marry you?
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Well, it is for some people.
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RICHIE: But not for you, Daddy.
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ANNOUNCER: No.
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RICHIE: Because you were a soldier.
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ROB: It wasn't hard for me.
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I just came right out and asked your mama.
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You cold?
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No, I'm fine.
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You sure?
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Why'd you stop?
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Stop what?
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Well, the Jeep? - Yes.
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Why?
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I thought-- I was going to--
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I was going to give you my-- my--
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Shirt?
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I don't have a jacket on.
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LAURA: Shouldn't we be getting back?
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Well, yeah.
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Sure, but I thought, as long as we were stopped here,
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we might just sit here a while, and--
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and--
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Shiver?
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Yeah.
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No.
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Rob, are you all right?
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Well, yeah.
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I'm fine.
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It's just it's awful cold out tonight.
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Cold?
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It must be 80 degrees.
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It is?
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Rob, we better drive right back.
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I think you caught a cold.
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You're shivering.
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Well, it's a family trait.
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All the male members of my family
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shiver when they're about to propose marriage.
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Is that what you're about to do?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I guess so.
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Laura, will you marry me?
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You want me to marry you?
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Yeah, very much.
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Oh.
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You're shivering.
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Well, all the female members of my family
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react this way when they accept marriage proposals.
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Yeah?
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Yeah.
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Well, I guess we ought to--
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Yeah.
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Wow.
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Wow is right.
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Rob?
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Huh?
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When do you want to?
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Want to what?
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Get married.
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Oh.
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Well, I haven't-- I haven't thought about it.
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You hadn't?
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Well, no.
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I thought you say no.
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How about-- about-- how about-- how about--
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how about Sunday?
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S-s-sunday?
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Sunday would be fine.
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Sunday.
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S-sunday.
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Just think, next Sunday I'll be Mrs. Robert Petrie.
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Yeah, Sunday.
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You scared?
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No.
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So am I.
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Now, son, there's no reason to be
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afraid when you know what you want, and you go out after it.
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Did you and Mommy get married the next Sunday?
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No, we didn't.
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You backed out?
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No, I didn't.
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Mommy backed out?
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No, I didn't, dear.
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That's Sunday I was at the chapel.
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All our friends from the USO show
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were there, Daddy's buddies, and everyone was there but Daddy.
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Where was Daddy?
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LAURA: Well, that's what everyone kept asking.
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Where is he?
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10 minutes of freedom left.
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Do I love her?
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Yeah, I love her.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, but is that any reason to get married?
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I love Ingrid Bergman, I'm not marrying her.
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She forced me into it.
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She backed me in a corner, that's what she did.
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And she was pretty obvious about it, too.
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Yeah, walking around with that sensational figure,
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those great legs.
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Yeah.
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Wearing wild perfume.
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Smiling pleasantly, being very nice.
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Telling me what a great guy I am.
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How much talent I've got.
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How much fun I am to be with.
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Yeah.
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And every time I ask her for a date, what did she say?
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Yes!
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Boy, if that's not being obvious.
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I think I'd better admit it, I'm hooked.
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That's right.
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I love her.
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And I'm glad.
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I'm going to go through with it.
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Holy smokes, I'm late!
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Oh, no.
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Oh, she's gonna kill me.
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I should have been there 10 minutes ago.
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[jeep sputters]
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Come on, baby, there's a chapel full of people waiting for me.
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Come on.
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Come on, sweetheart.
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Give it a little choke.
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[jeep sputters]
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Don't do this to me.
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Oh, she's going to kill me.
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I had to drive out here on my wedding day, huh?
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Take a look under here and see what the trouble is.
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Uh-huh.
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There it is.
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A motor.
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The trouble is I don't know anything about it.
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Oil.
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Sounds all right.
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Loose wire!
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All I have to do is find a terminal.
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That's what caused it.
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Maybe.
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I bet that did it.
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Boy, that better have did it.
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[inaudible] further.
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Come on, sweetheart.
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[car sputters]
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Yeah, that did it.
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Oh, no.
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But she'll kill me.
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Oh, she'll never believe me.
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Why'd I have to do this on my wedding day, of all days?
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I might as well give up, there's no chance
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of getting back there now.
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They're all standing there in the chapel waiting.
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I didn't check--
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I didn't check the radiator before I left the motor pool.
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I bet it's dry.
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Oh, please, make it be dry.
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Come on, baby, be dry.
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Hey!
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[water splashing]
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Why did I do that?
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Oh, there's nothing to do now.
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I'll never get there.
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I'll just have to run.
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If I run I can make it in an hour.
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I'll take a short cut across the artillery range.
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Uh-oh.
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My ankle's broken.
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I know it.
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Oh, boy, oh, boy, does that hurt!
228
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Don't pamper it, don't pamper it.
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Put your weight on it, that's right.
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Think positively.
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Oh, that hurts.
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It's gonna be fine.
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Just don't think about it.
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Don't baby it, that's it.
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I think I can make it.
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I'll just have to hop.
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If I can run it in an hour, I can hop it in two hours.
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I'm here!
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And they're not.
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Where is everybody?
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Aw, look at the pretty flowers.
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Aw.
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And there's her little nosegay.
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Oh.
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She-- she must have stood right here
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and waited for me for two hours.
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I don't blame her.
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I'm gonna to go to her, I'll explain to her,
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and she'll understand.
250
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I want to-- I want to lie down before I faint.
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Ah!
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Oh, Rob.
253
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Laura?
254
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Laura, it's me!
255
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- Let go! - It's me, Rob.
256
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I don't ever want to see you again.
257
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Now wait a minute, honey, I know you're a little upset
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today, and I don't blame you.
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I'm not upset, and let go of my hand.
260
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No, honey, not until you promise
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to stay here and listen to me.
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Now, please.
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All right, I promise.
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Now let go.
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OK.
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Honey, you promised you'd stay and listen to me.
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And you promised you'd marry me!
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Where were you?
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That's what I want to explain.
270
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I've never been so humiliated in my whole life.
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Everybody was here.
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Your friends, your buddies, and the organist kept playing,
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and you didn't come, and even my Aunt Mildred was here.
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She came all the way from Ohio.
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Aw, honey, I hate to see you cry like this.
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Well, it's the only way I know how to cry.
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You jilted me.
278
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:36,382
Honey I--
279
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,650
I didn't jilt you.
280
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,518
Well, somebody did.
281
00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:43,022
I came here to get married and I'm still single.
282
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:44,623
And let go of my hand.
283
00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,091
No, sir.
284
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,327
You promised his hand to me in marriage.
285
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:49,428
You gave it to me.
286
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:51,931
I'm going to explain to you why I was late,
287
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,033
and if you want your hand back, then I'll be
288
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:56,902
perfectly happy to give to you.
289
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,137
Make it fast.
290
00:13:58,237 --> 00:13:59,939
My train leaves in an hour.
291
00:14:06,645 --> 00:14:08,147
Do you know something?
292
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:12,084
A few seconds ago, I was very, very sorry that I came late.
293
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,353
But now I'm kind of glad.
294
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:16,121
You have just shown me a side of yourself
295
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,157
that you've kept hidden.
296
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:19,992
Do you know that you are a very stubborn,
297
00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:22,728
unreasonable, egocentric young lady?
298
00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:24,964
How dare you!
299
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:26,699
And give me back my hand.
300
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:27,800
I'll give it back to you just as
301
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,668
soon as I'm finished with it.
302
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:31,203
Now, I'll admit that you suffered
303
00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:33,005
a little mental anguish here today.
304
00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:34,873
Are you so self-centered that you haven't noticed
305
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:36,742
that I am suffering too?
306
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:39,245
Oh, are you?
307
00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:42,414
I'm wincing with pain every few seconds.
308
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:43,415
Ooh.
309
00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:44,450
Ow.
310
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:49,121
Did you even notice that I'm covered with grease,
311
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,657
and my ankles is swollen to twice its normal size?
312
00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:54,393
Oh!
313
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:56,128
Don't touch my foot.
314
00:15:00,799 --> 00:15:02,167
Well, what happened?
315
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:04,536
There, that's what you should have
316
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,205
said when you first saw me.
317
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,108
Oh, Rob, what did happen?
318
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,242
Well, it's a long story.
319
00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:12,578
You might miss your train.
320
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:15,614
I'd like to hear it.
321
00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:18,717
Well, to tell you the truth, when I got up this morning,
322
00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:20,419
I was scared.
323
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:24,823
I wasn't sure that our getting married was such a good idea.
324
00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:27,993
Well, I'll admit I had some doubts.
325
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,361
All single men do.
326
00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:31,964
All single men who don't want to get married.
327
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:34,867
All single men.
328
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,803
There's a foreverness about marriage.
329
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:38,737
It's frightening.
330
00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:40,005
Not to me.
331
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,242
Well, you've never been a single man.
332
00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:47,946
Well, anyway, I took a drive this morning out to our spot.
333
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:51,150
Had a nice long talk with myself.
334
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:53,686
I tried very hard to convince myself that our getting married
335
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,387
was a big mistake.
336
00:15:55,487 --> 00:15:56,322
Oh?
337
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,656
Yeah.
338
00:15:57,756 --> 00:15:59,992
For every good reason I could come up with that I should
339
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:02,127
marry you, I came up with about 10
340
00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:03,896
good reasons why I shouldn't.
341
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:06,065
That's nice.
342
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:10,402
There's only one good reason I couldn't knock down.
343
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,104
I love you.
344
00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,606
I know it's a ridiculous reason to get married,
345
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:18,210
but I'm a little old fashioned.
346
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,246
Well, that's my story.
347
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,581
If you want to go catch your train,
348
00:16:22,681 --> 00:16:25,351
you're perfectly free to go.
349
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,187
How did you hurt your ankle?
350
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:31,957
Well, the Jeep broke down, and I started running here,
351
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:34,626
and I tripped and sprained it.
352
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,395
How did you get back here?
353
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:37,429
I hopped.
354
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,468
All the way?
355
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,804
2 and 1/2 hours.
356
00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:47,473
I believe this is yours.
357
00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:53,879
Next Sunday?
358
00:16:53,979 --> 00:16:55,114
Yes.
359
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:04,223
Anyway, Rich, we arranged to be married the following Sunday.
360
00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:07,092
All our friends and relatives stayed over at the camp.
361
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:10,496
That's when you and Daddy got married.
362
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:11,797
No, we didn't.
363
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:13,699
You backed out again, Daddy?
364
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,067
Well, not exactly.
365
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,169
As a matter of fact, Mommy thought I backed out,
366
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:18,837
and she backed out.
367
00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:19,972
Did you, Mommy?
368
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:22,374
Well, yes, in a way.
369
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:23,308
Why?
370
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,210
LAURA: Well, because at the time,
371
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,646
things happened to Daddy that I didn't know about.
372
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:32,451
There you are.
373
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,553
And have you been using your cane, Sergeant?
374
00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,691
Sergeant?
375
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:40,626
Sergeant!
376
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:41,927
Sir?
377
00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:43,729
Is there anything wrong with your hearing?
378
00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:44,897
No, no.
379
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:47,166
It feels fine, it's not even tight.
380
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:52,838
I said, is there anything wrong with your hearing.
381
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:55,874
Oh, no, sir-- excuse me--
382
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:58,110
I think I got a little soap in my ear
383
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,978
when I-- when I showered.
384
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,147
[coughing]
385
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:03,649
How does your throat feel?
386
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:04,583
Sir?
387
00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:06,752
I said how does your throat feel?
388
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:07,786
Oh.
389
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:08,987
It's--
390
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,589
[coughing]
391
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:12,591
It--
392
00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:17,362
[coughing]
393
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:18,564
What was the question?
394
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:23,168
I said, how does your throat feel?
395
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,336
Oh, it feels fine.
396
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:25,671
Fine.
397
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,640
I think we better have a peek at your throat and ears.
398
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:29,341
Sir, I don't--
399
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:30,609
I don't have time to.
400
00:18:30,709 --> 00:18:31,944
I've got to get over to the chapel.
401
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,245
- Ah. - Ah.
402
00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:34,580
In about 20 minutes-- - Ah.
403
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,314
Ah.
404
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:37,549
It about 20 minutes--
405
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:38,484
Please, Sergeant.
406
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:39,518
Ah.
407
00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:42,588
Ahh.
408
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,560
Uh-huh.
409
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:49,561
Ahh.
410
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,835
Now breathe through your mouth.
411
00:18:56,935 --> 00:18:59,505
[wheezing]
412
00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:07,012
[coughing]
413
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:08,614
Again.
414
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:11,016
[wheezing]
415
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:14,453
[coughing]
416
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:17,956
[wheezing]
417
00:19:18,056 --> 00:19:19,458
That's fine, Sergeant.
418
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:20,859
Can I stop breathing now?
419
00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:22,427
Yes.
420
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,096
Thanks.
421
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:25,330
Corporal.
422
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:29,801
You're a sick man, Sergeant.
423
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,971
You have a nice upper respiratory infection.
424
00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:34,973
Oh, I have that all the time.
425
00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:36,575
Yes, Captain?
426
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:38,544
It looks like we got a little epidemic brewing.
427
00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:40,812
Prepare a hospital admittance for the Sergeant.
428
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,381
Yes, sir.
429
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:44,750
I think you'll have to spend a few days in the hospital.
430
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,451
No, Doctor, I can't stay at a hospital,
431
00:19:46,552 --> 00:19:48,320
I've got to get over to the chapel.
432
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:50,589
You'll just have to miss chapel this week.
433
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,057
No, sir, you don't understand.
434
00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:52,958
I've got to go.
435
00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:54,493
I've got to get married.
436
00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:55,527
Oh?
437
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,802
You see, what happened was, I disappointed her last week.
438
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:04,736
Oh.
439
00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:05,671
No.
440
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:07,940
I walked down in my sprained ankle.
441
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,541
I didn't show up.
442
00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:11,443
If I don't show up this time, she'll think I'm backing out,
443
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,312
but couldn't you just let me go over and get
444
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:14,580
married and come right back?
445
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,682
Shouldn't take over an hour.
446
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,016
I'm afraid not.
447
00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:21,920
Now you'll just have to phone your fiancee and tell her
448
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:25,190
she'll have to remain a fiancee for at least another week.
449
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,025
Another week?
450
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:28,894
Easy, Sergeant.
451
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:30,996
Right over here.
452
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,164
There you go.
453
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:33,732
There you are.
454
00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:35,834
Come on, corporal, the Sergeant has a personal call to make.
455
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:41,940
Oh, she's going to kill me.
456
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,910
She'll never forgive me.
457
00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:46,311
Hello, operator.
458
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:51,850
Op-- operator.
459
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:55,153
Would you get me guest bungalow number three?
460
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,756
[coughing]
461
00:20:57,856 --> 00:20:58,890
That's right.
462
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,892
Yes, room number one.
463
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:01,827
That's all right, operator.
464
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:02,861
I'll wait.
465
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:08,333
Hello, honey.
466
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,168
Honey, I got some bad news for you.
467
00:21:10,268 --> 00:21:13,772
We can't get married till next week.
468
00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:15,007
Now don't cry, honey.
469
00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:30,389
Don't cry, honey.
470
00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:32,190
We'll get married next week.
471
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,525
That's all right, go ahead.
472
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,527
We'll use the flowers and get new flowers.
473
00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:38,964
Sorry, sweetheart.
474
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:39,931
Don't cry.
475
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:41,333
Your mother can come back.
476
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:42,801
That's right, we can have all the people
477
00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:44,269
back for the reception.
478
00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:45,504
That's right.
479
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:49,074
We'll have it next week.
480
00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:51,076
You see I'm in the hospital.
481
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,644
Ah-ha.
482
00:21:52,744 --> 00:21:53,645
Uh-huh.
483
00:21:53,745 --> 00:21:55,313
I'm in a hospital, honey.
484
00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:59,217
I have a temperature of 102.
485
00:21:59,317 --> 00:22:03,288
You wouldn't want me to start and epidemic,
486
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:05,824
would you, honey, all over the chapel?
487
00:22:05,924 --> 00:22:07,559
Don't cry, sweetheart.
488
00:22:13,298 --> 00:22:15,867
[crash]
489
00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:19,004
ROB (VOICEOVER): I went to the chapel,
490
00:22:19,104 --> 00:22:20,706
but I might just as well have stayed in the infirmary.
491
00:22:20,806 --> 00:22:22,574
My ears were so stuffed I couldn't hear one
492
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:25,043
word the chaplain was saying.
493
00:22:25,143 --> 00:22:29,648
Robert Petrie, wilt thou have this woman to be thy wife,
494
00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:32,684
to love and to cherish, in sickness--
495
00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:33,719
I do.
496
00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,422
I don't.
497
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:45,764
In sickness and in health until death do you part?
498
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:52,237
I do.
499
00:22:52,337 --> 00:22:54,439
And do you, Laura, take this man
500
00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:59,311
to love and to cherish in sickness and in health,
501
00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:01,179
till death do you part?
502
00:23:01,279 --> 00:23:02,380
I do.
503
00:23:02,481 --> 00:23:05,383
I do.
504
00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:07,652
I don't.
505
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:11,456
If there be anyone present who knows why these two should not
506
00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:15,160
be joined in lawful wedlock, let him speak
507
00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:18,296
now or forever hold his peace.
508
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:20,932
I do.
509
00:23:21,032 --> 00:23:23,001
Well, so do I!
510
00:23:27,339 --> 00:23:31,777
I didn't kiss her yet.
511
00:23:31,877 --> 00:23:32,511
Am I married?
512
00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:33,678
Not quite, Sargent.
513
00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:35,447
I better go get her, then.
514
00:23:37,849 --> 00:23:41,686
So you and Mommy never got married?
515
00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:45,757
No, I explained to Mom, and we finally got married.
516
00:23:45,857 --> 00:23:46,491
When?
517
00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:47,959
That same day.
518
00:23:48,059 --> 00:23:49,694
Your daddy and I were married in the camp hospital.
519
00:23:49,795 --> 00:23:52,030
That's a silly place.
520
00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:54,800
Well, but it doesn't matter where you marry,
521
00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:56,902
it's who you marry that counts.
522
00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:59,404
I'm glad you and Mommy got married.
523
00:23:59,504 --> 00:24:00,472
So are we.
524
00:24:00,572 --> 00:24:02,007
Why are you glad?
525
00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:05,010
Because if you didn't get married, I wouldn't be here,
526
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:08,947
and I'd miss all my best television programs.
527
00:24:09,047 --> 00:24:11,550
[laughing]
528
00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:16,254
Sit down, Rich.
529
00:24:16,354 --> 00:24:17,823
Now, this is the wedding, Rich.
530
00:24:17,923 --> 00:24:19,825
My friends took home movies of it.
531
00:24:19,925 --> 00:24:22,127
RICHIE: Why's everyone wearing masks?
532
00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:24,262
LAURA: So we wouldn't catch Daddy's cold.
533
00:24:24,362 --> 00:24:25,564
Oh.
534
00:24:25,664 --> 00:24:27,432
ROB: There's the chaplain.
535
00:24:27,532 --> 00:24:29,467
There's us shaking hands.
536
00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:31,837
Those are my slippers.
537
00:24:31,937 --> 00:24:34,339
That's Mommy and me kissing.
538
00:24:34,439 --> 00:24:35,874
And that's us kissing again.
539
00:24:41,746 --> 00:24:45,083
Boy you two sure kiss a lot.
540
00:24:45,183 --> 00:24:48,386
Show me that again, Daddy.
541
00:24:48,486 --> 00:24:49,955
OK.
542
00:24:50,055 --> 00:24:51,656
Not that, that.
543
00:25:03,101 --> 00:25:07,105
[MUSIC - END THEME, "THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW"]
35199
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