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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:11,006 COME ON, DAVID, IT'S MY FIRST MOVIE. 2 00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:12,142 THE STUDIO WANTS YOU TO DO IT. 3 00:00:12,183 --> 00:00:14,133 I WANT YOU TO DO IT. YOU GOTTA DO IT! 4 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,142 MARCUS. I CAN'T DO IT. 5 00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:18,532 I PROMISED THE KIDS THAT MY PLACE WAS HERE WITH THEM. 6 00:00:18,572 --> 00:00:20,052 OKAY, GUYS? 7 00:00:20,095 --> 00:00:21,875 HONEY, DOING A SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER 8 00:00:21,919 --> 00:00:23,059 HAS BEEN YOUR DREAM. 9 00:00:23,094 --> 00:00:24,484 EVERY TIME WE SEE ONE, YOU ALWAYS SAY 10 00:00:24,529 --> 00:00:26,749 IT WOULD BE BETTER WITH YOU IN IT. 11 00:00:26,789 --> 00:00:28,919 WE ALL KNOW THAT ANY MOVIE WITH ME IN IT 12 00:00:28,963 --> 00:00:32,133 WOULD BE A BETTER MOVIE. THAT'S JUST SCIENCE. 13 00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:35,740 BUT, DADDY, YOU COULD BE IN A MOVIE. 14 00:00:35,788 --> 00:00:40,008 JUST LIKE {\an8}KUNG FU PANDA OR MORGAN FREEMAN. 15 00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:44,528 GUYS, DAD HAS MADE HIS DECISION. 16 00:00:44,569 --> 00:00:46,309 HE'S STAYING WITH US. RESPECT IT. 17 00:00:46,352 --> 00:00:48,362 - THANK YOU, EMILY. - CO-STARRING TEEN HEARTTHROB 18 00:00:48,395 --> 00:00:49,785 NICK BANNER. 19 00:00:49,829 --> 00:00:51,609 NICK BANNER? DAD! HE'S THE BEST ACTOR EVER! 20 00:00:51,655 --> 00:00:53,185 YOU HAVE TO DO THIS! [gasps] 21 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,570 IMAGINE IF I GOT A SELFIE WITH HIM LOOKING AT ME ADORINGLY. 22 00:00:54,612 --> 00:00:56,092 [giggles] 23 00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:57,823 HE'S NOT THAT GOOD OF AN ACTOR. 24 00:00:57,872 --> 00:01:00,352 LOOK, YOU GUYS, I'M NOT GONNA GO TO NEW YORK 25 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,443 AND FILM A MOVIE FOR FIVE WEEKS WITHOUT YOU. 26 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,000 FIVE WEEKS? 27 00:01:04,045 --> 00:01:07,825 I MEAN, FIVE WEEKS? 28 00:01:07,871 --> 00:01:09,431 MAYBE WE CAN GO WITH YOU. 29 00:01:09,479 --> 00:01:10,869 OH, WE CAN GO WITH YOU? 30 00:01:10,913 --> 00:01:14,183 I MEAN, WE CAN GO WITH YOU? 31 00:01:16,522 --> 00:01:19,042 COME ON, MAN. YOU CAN EVEN TAKE THE KIDS TO THE SET! 32 00:01:19,087 --> 00:01:20,347 YEAH, DAD! YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW WE'RE THERE. 33 00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:21,780 - COME ON! - WE'LL HAVE SO MUCH FUN! 34 00:01:21,825 --> 00:01:23,305 - YOU HAVE TO DO THIS! - WHOA, WHOA. 35 00:01:23,347 --> 00:01:25,137 FIRST OF ALL, ON A MOVIE SET, YOU'VE GOT TO BE QUIET. 36 00:01:25,173 --> 00:01:26,343 [whispering] WE'D HAVE SO MUCH FUN! 37 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:29,040 [whispering] YOU GOTTA DO THIS! 38 00:01:29,086 --> 00:01:33,216 THERE'S ALSO A ROLE FOR AMY! 39 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,269 LOOK, THE STUDIO WANTS ME TO REWRITE THE ENDING 40 00:01:35,302 --> 00:01:36,912 WHILE WE FILM. 41 00:01:36,954 --> 00:01:39,654 SO I'M GONNA IMMERSE MYSELF IN THE UNDERBELLY OF THE CITY. 42 00:01:39,693 --> 00:01:42,173 AND, YOU KNOW, MAYBE I COULD SHOOT THE "MAKING OF"? 43 00:01:42,214 --> 00:01:43,784 YOU KNOW, BEHIND-THE-SCENES FOOTAGE, 44 00:01:43,822 --> 00:01:45,602 DOCUMENT YOUR EVERY MOVE. 45 00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:48,818 YOU MEAN, KIND OF LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW? 46 00:01:48,865 --> 00:01:50,775 OKAY, YEAH, I ADMIT IT. 47 00:01:50,821 --> 00:01:52,821 I USE THE FOOTAGE FOR MY BLOG "GOBS OF HOBBS." 48 00:01:52,865 --> 00:01:54,395 ALL RIGHT. 49 00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:56,690 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS? 50 00:01:56,733 --> 00:02:01,213 I CAN BE A GREAT DAD AND A MOVIE STAR, OKAY? 51 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,475 - YES! - SO WE ARE GOING TO NEW YORK. 52 00:02:03,516 --> 00:02:05,296 [cheering] 53 00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:08,302 [upbeat music] 54 00:02:08,341 --> 00:02:15,171 ♪ 55 00:02:22,556 --> 00:02:23,906 AND ACTION! 56 00:02:23,948 --> 00:02:25,648 YO, FRANK, LET'S ROCK... 57 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,687 AND ROLL. 58 00:02:27,729 --> 00:02:29,119 I DRIVE, ROOKIE. 59 00:02:33,642 --> 00:02:35,592 YAY, DADDY! 60 00:02:35,641 --> 00:02:38,291 - SHH! - CUT! 61 00:02:38,337 --> 00:02:39,377 WHO ARE YOU KIDS? 62 00:02:40,989 --> 00:02:43,909 OKAY, LET'S GO AGAIN, PLEASE. 63 00:02:43,945 --> 00:02:46,385 SWEETIE, QUIET VOICES ON THE SET, REMEMBER? 64 00:02:46,423 --> 00:02:47,383 I'M ON IT. 65 00:02:47,423 --> 00:02:49,213 AND ACTION. 66 00:02:49,249 --> 00:02:51,429 [quietly] SWEETIE, WHEN DADDY'S WORKING, 67 00:02:51,465 --> 00:02:54,775 WE HAVE TO BE SUPER QUIET. [cell phone ringing] 68 00:02:56,204 --> 00:02:57,864 SORRY! 69 00:02:57,899 --> 00:03:00,429 OKAY! ONE MORE TIME! 70 00:03:00,464 --> 00:03:01,984 SO WE'RE GONNA DO IT AGAIN? 71 00:03:02,029 --> 00:03:03,459 NO, NO, I CAN'T GO AGAIN, ALL RIGHT? 72 00:03:03,508 --> 00:03:04,768 I'VE LOST MY CHARACTER. 73 00:03:04,811 --> 00:03:08,771 CHAZ! CHAZ MCQUEEN? WHERE ARE YOU? 74 00:03:08,811 --> 00:03:10,471 WE'RE NOT GOING AGAIN? 75 00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:13,597 HEY, SORRY ABOUT THE PHONE THING. 76 00:03:13,636 --> 00:03:16,546 BUT YOU THINK YOU COULD INTRODUCE ME TO NICK NOW? 77 00:03:16,593 --> 00:03:19,203 YOU KNOW... 78 00:03:19,245 --> 00:03:22,375 I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD TIME, SWEETHEART. 79 00:03:22,418 --> 00:03:25,288 ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. 80 00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:27,381 DAD, I'M HUNGRY. CAN YOU MAKE ME A SANDWICH? 81 00:03:27,418 --> 00:03:29,598 YOU KNOW WHAT? RIGHT OVER THERE IS CRAFT SERVICE. 82 00:03:29,634 --> 00:03:31,204 YOU CAN GET ANYTHING YOU WANT. 83 00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:33,113 - ANYTHING? - ANYTHING. 84 00:03:33,156 --> 00:03:36,596 [heavenly choir] ♪ AH 85 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,113 I'M HOME. 86 00:03:43,068 --> 00:03:44,848 HEY, DAVID, 87 00:03:44,893 --> 00:03:47,113 HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NEW RIG? 88 00:03:47,154 --> 00:03:49,154 RIGHT? ALL HIGH DEF, ANAMORPHIC LENSES, 89 00:03:49,197 --> 00:03:51,367 STREAMING WIRELESSLY TO MY COMPUTER. 90 00:03:51,415 --> 00:03:53,155 THAT'S IMPRESSIVE, KEVIN. YOU GOT ANY GOOD FOOTAGE? 91 00:03:53,197 --> 00:03:55,897 NO, NOT YET. I CAN'T REACH REALLY THE "ON" BUTTON. 92 00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:57,115 IT'S JUST, I THINK IT'S-- 93 00:03:58,630 --> 00:04:00,240 AROUND--YEP. 94 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,423 [buzz] OH! OOH! 95 00:04:02,456 --> 00:04:04,676 THANK YOU. 96 00:04:04,717 --> 00:04:08,987 AW, FRANKIE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONER. 97 00:04:09,021 --> 00:04:11,551 I'M SORRY I SAID YOU'RE A LOW-LIFE TWO-BIT 98 00:04:11,586 --> 00:04:14,376 HAS-BEEN COP. 99 00:04:14,412 --> 00:04:18,282 YOU MAY BE MY EX-HUSBAND, BUT YOU'RE STILL MY HERO. 100 00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,274 AND SHE KISSES HIM ON THE BANDAGE. 101 00:04:20,324 --> 00:04:23,324 EWWW! 102 00:04:23,366 --> 00:04:25,066 CAN I MEET YOUR DOG? 103 00:04:25,105 --> 00:04:27,105 SURE. BUT REX IS A TRAINED ANIMAL ACTOR. 104 00:04:27,149 --> 00:04:28,199 HE DOESN'T RESPOND TO EVERYONE. 105 00:04:29,931 --> 00:04:31,971 NICE TO MEET YOU. 106 00:04:32,018 --> 00:04:34,148 MOST BIG HOLLYWOOD ACTORS WOULDN'T SHAKE. 107 00:04:35,886 --> 00:04:38,666 [giggles] NOW, THAT'S MORE HOLLYWOOD. 108 00:04:40,495 --> 00:04:42,495 I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONER! 109 00:04:42,538 --> 00:04:44,668 I THOUGHT YOU {\an8}WERE A GONER. 110 00:04:44,711 --> 00:04:47,061 I THOUGHT {\an8}YOU WERE A GONER. 111 00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:49,323 - AMY? - MY SCENE UP? OH, PERFECT. 112 00:04:49,363 --> 00:04:50,363 I'M PEAKING. IT'S NOW OR NEVER. 113 00:04:50,407 --> 00:04:52,967 THEY MOVED YOU TO TOMORROW. 114 00:04:53,015 --> 00:04:54,445 TOMORROW'S GOOD. 115 00:05:00,579 --> 00:05:03,969 OH, DAVID, GUESS WHAT? 116 00:05:04,013 --> 00:05:05,403 YOU HEART NEW YORK? 117 00:05:05,448 --> 00:05:07,238 HA HA! YOU BET. 118 00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,364 AND I THINK I HAVE MY ENDING. 119 00:05:09,404 --> 00:05:10,414 - OKAY. - ALL RIGHT. 120 00:05:10,447 --> 00:05:12,967 YOU AND CHAZ CHASE DE CAMPO 121 00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:14,832 TO THE TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. 122 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,141 - I'M LISTENING. - OKAY. 123 00:05:16,186 --> 00:05:19,106 THERE, YOU GET BITTEN BY A SPIDER. 124 00:05:19,142 --> 00:05:23,062 THE NEXT DAY, YOU HAVE WEBBING SHOOTING OUT OF YOUR WRISTS! 125 00:05:23,098 --> 00:05:25,498 WAIT FOR IT... 126 00:05:25,532 --> 00:05:28,932 AND YOU'RE ABLE TO SWING FROM BUILDING TO BUILDING, 127 00:05:28,967 --> 00:05:30,537 SAVING THE CITY. 128 00:05:30,575 --> 00:05:32,015 BOOM! 129 00:05:32,054 --> 00:05:36,794 LET ME GUESS. {\an8} SPIDER COP? 130 00:05:36,835 --> 00:05:39,225 [imitates web slinging noises] 131 00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:41,880 THANK YOU. WHAT IS THAT? YOU JUST MADE IT SOUND STUPID. 132 00:05:41,922 --> 00:05:43,792 I WORKED ON THIS ALL DAY LONG... 133 00:05:43,834 --> 00:05:47,364 ROLL OVER, REX. ROLL OVER. 134 00:05:47,399 --> 00:05:49,099 LIKE THIS! 135 00:06:02,658 --> 00:06:04,088 - HOBBS. JASON HERVEY. - OH, HEY. 136 00:06:04,137 --> 00:06:05,787 I'M WITH THE STUDIO. 137 00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,132 - WELL, GOOD FOR YOU. - BIG FAN OF YOURS. 138 00:06:07,179 --> 00:06:08,229 GOOD KIDS TOO, BY THE WAY. LISTEN, 139 00:06:08,266 --> 00:06:09,666 I GOTTA TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING, 140 00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:11,000 ONE THING. YOU CAN'T FORGET IT. 141 00:06:11,049 --> 00:06:12,879 IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. [phone ringing] 142 00:06:12,918 --> 00:06:15,138 OH, BIGGER NAME. SORRY. 143 00:06:15,178 --> 00:06:16,968 DON'T FORGET WHAT I TOLD YOU, HOBBS. 144 00:06:17,004 --> 00:06:18,004 HI... 145 00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:21,270 BIGGER THAN ME? 146 00:06:28,176 --> 00:06:29,736 NO PICTURES ALLOWED ON THE SET. 147 00:06:29,785 --> 00:06:31,175 OH, NICK'S MY GOOD FRIEND. HE WON'T MIND. 148 00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:32,790 YEAH, JUST CHECK OUT MY INSTAGRAM PAGE. 149 00:06:32,828 --> 00:06:34,398 EVERYTHING THERE IS TRUE. 150 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:35,876 AND ACTION! 151 00:06:35,915 --> 00:06:38,965 DAD! 152 00:06:39,001 --> 00:06:41,441 OKAY, IT WAS GOOD FOR ME. 153 00:06:41,479 --> 00:06:42,879 CUT. 154 00:06:47,348 --> 00:06:49,438 "THE BUILDING'S SURROUNDED, DE CAMPO. 155 00:06:49,478 --> 00:06:51,268 YOU CAN COME QUIETLY--" 156 00:06:51,304 --> 00:06:52,474 DADDY? 157 00:06:52,521 --> 00:06:55,301 I HAD BAD DREAMS. CAN YOU READ ME A STORY? 158 00:06:55,347 --> 00:06:56,957 YES, OF COURSE. NO PROBLEM. 159 00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:58,259 GET OVER HERE. COME ON. 160 00:06:58,303 --> 00:07:00,083 YOUR DAD'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING NOW. 161 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:02,749 DAVID, YOU HAVE TO BE ON SET EARLY. 162 00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:04,130 LET ME TAKE CARE OF THIS. 163 00:07:04,172 --> 00:07:05,132 OH, NO, HONEY. YOU WERE ALREADY ASLEEP. 164 00:07:05,171 --> 00:07:07,001 I TOLD YOU IF I WAS GONNA DO THIS, 165 00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:09,701 I COULD STILL BE A FULL-- - OKAY, GOOD NIGHT. 166 00:07:09,736 --> 00:07:13,046 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 167 00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,834 ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A VERY HANDSOME PRINCE 168 00:07:15,865 --> 00:07:18,385 NAMED DETECTIVE FRANK HARDWARE, 169 00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:20,040 WHO WAS PLACED ON ADMINISTRATIVE LEAVE 170 00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:22,823 FOR PLAYING BY HIS OWN RULES. 171 00:07:22,864 --> 00:07:25,164 [knocking at door] OH, HOLD ON, SWEETIE. 172 00:07:25,213 --> 00:07:27,953 BUT IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD! 173 00:07:27,995 --> 00:07:29,695 - OH, HEY, NICK. - CAN I COME IN? 174 00:07:29,734 --> 00:07:31,134 YEAH, WELL, I'M KIND OF 175 00:07:31,168 --> 00:07:32,468 STUDYING MY LINES HERE, YOU KNOW? 176 00:07:32,516 --> 00:07:33,686 NO, I UNDERSTAND. 177 00:07:33,733 --> 00:07:35,903 I'LL JUST, UM... I'LL WAIT RIGHT HERE. 178 00:07:35,951 --> 00:07:38,301 [crying] 179 00:07:38,341 --> 00:07:42,171 I'M RUINING THIS MOVIE. AH! I'M RUINING THIS MOVIE. 180 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,351 DAD, I DON'T FEEL GOOD. 181 00:07:44,384 --> 00:07:46,954 YEAH, WELL, YOU ATE YOUR WEIGHT IN CREAM PUFFS, JOE. 182 00:07:46,992 --> 00:07:48,512 OKAY? 183 00:07:48,557 --> 00:07:49,647 LOOK, GUYS, WE GOT A LOT TO DO TOMORROW. 184 00:07:49,687 --> 00:07:51,387 WE GOT A BUSY DAY. 185 00:07:51,426 --> 00:07:54,166 IT'S LATE. CAN WE ALL JUST GO TO SLEEP, PLEASE? 186 00:07:54,209 --> 00:07:58,119 "AND THEN FRANK AND CHAZ RAN AND RAN AND RAN, 187 00:07:58,165 --> 00:08:02,075 UNTIL FINALLY TACKLING THE BAD GUY." 188 00:08:02,121 --> 00:08:06,251 AND THEN THEY TALK... AND THEY TALK... 189 00:08:06,294 --> 00:08:08,214 AND THEY TALK AND THEY-- 190 00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:10,210 MAN, THIS MOVIE REALLY DOES NEED A NEW ENDING. 191 00:08:12,423 --> 00:08:14,123 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING UP? 192 00:08:14,162 --> 00:08:15,382 AAH! 193 00:08:15,423 --> 00:08:16,693 [shrieks] 194 00:08:16,728 --> 00:08:19,988 [screaming] 195 00:08:22,596 --> 00:08:23,556 [camera clicking] 196 00:08:23,596 --> 00:08:25,246 WE GOT YOU, DE CAMPO. 197 00:08:25,292 --> 00:08:27,772 THESE PICTURES ARE GONNA PUT YOU AWAY FOR LIFE. 198 00:08:27,813 --> 00:08:29,373 RIGHT, FRANK? 199 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:30,721 [click] 200 00:08:30,769 --> 00:08:32,199 FRANK? 201 00:08:34,334 --> 00:08:35,374 DAVID? 202 00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:36,900 CUT! 203 00:08:39,203 --> 00:08:42,123 DAVID, OF ALL THE TIMES I'VE WATCHED YOU SLEEP, 204 00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:43,989 I'VE NEVER HAD TO SHARE YOU WITH A CROWD BEFORE. 205 00:08:44,029 --> 00:08:44,899 THAT WAS WEIRD. [chuckles] 206 00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,982 YOU WATCH ME SLEEP? 207 00:08:47,028 --> 00:08:49,038 COFFEE? 208 00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:51,161 DAVE, I HAVE THE PERFECT ENDING. 209 00:08:51,202 --> 00:08:54,252 LISTEN. FRANK AND CHAZ CHASE DE CAMPO 210 00:08:54,288 --> 00:08:56,338 INTO THE BOWELS OF THE SUBWAY. 211 00:08:56,375 --> 00:08:57,425 - OKAY. GO ON-- - OKAY, OKAY. 212 00:08:57,462 --> 00:08:58,812 WHERE HE'S OVERCOME 213 00:08:58,852 --> 00:09:01,462 BY A RADIOACTIVE LIQUID. WAIT FOR IT! 214 00:09:01,504 --> 00:09:04,504 IT TURNS HIM INTO A PIZZA-LOVING, 215 00:09:04,547 --> 00:09:07,727 HARD-SHELLED REPTILE WHO KNOW KUNG-FU. 216 00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:10,034 HMM? SAVES THE DAY. 217 00:09:10,068 --> 00:09:13,808 YEAH. YOU CAN CALL IT, UH... 218 00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:16,940 {\an8}MIDDLE-AGED MUTANT NINJA COPS. 219 00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:19,810 YOU KNOW, YOUR-- YOUR MOCKING TONE IS, LIKE, 220 00:09:19,849 --> 00:09:21,719 KILLING MY CREATIVE SPIRIT. 221 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,672 YOU'RE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF, MAN, ALL RIGHT? 222 00:09:27,848 --> 00:09:29,108 - ACTION! - [gasps] 223 00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:31,373 AW, MY GOD, FRANKIE. 224 00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:33,463 I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONER! 225 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:34,760 CUT! 226 00:09:34,804 --> 00:09:36,594 AMY, GREAT WORK. GREAT SCENE. 227 00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:39,030 BUT PENNY ASKED ME TO MAKE A MINOR TWEAK 228 00:09:39,064 --> 00:09:42,244 TO YOUR SCENE TO HEIGHTEN THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT. 229 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,542 OH! EMOTIONAL IMPACT. 230 00:09:43,585 --> 00:09:45,235 - SOMETHING NEW. - OH, GOOD! 231 00:09:45,281 --> 00:09:47,151 OKAY. 232 00:09:47,194 --> 00:09:48,584 AND ACTION! 233 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:52,069 AW, CONNIE. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOU. 234 00:09:52,107 --> 00:09:53,497 LOOK AT WHAT DE CAMPO DID TO YOU! 235 00:09:53,541 --> 00:09:57,111 - [muffled speech] - I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONER. 236 00:09:57,149 --> 00:09:58,809 [grunts] 237 00:09:58,844 --> 00:10:00,974 - YOU MAY BE MY EX-WIFE-- - [grunting] 238 00:10:01,019 --> 00:10:02,499 BUT YOU'RE STILL MY HERO. 239 00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:05,110 [grunts] 240 00:10:05,148 --> 00:10:06,408 I TOLD YOU I'D NEVER LET YOU SEE ME CRY. 241 00:10:06,452 --> 00:10:08,022 [grunts] 242 00:10:12,408 --> 00:10:13,148 CUT! 243 00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:16,937 EXCUSE ME. 244 00:10:16,973 --> 00:10:18,933 I'M SURE YOU GET THIS ALL THE TIME, 245 00:10:18,972 --> 00:10:21,582 BUT ALL MY FRIENDS THINK YOU'RE SUPER CUTE, 246 00:10:21,624 --> 00:10:24,584 AND I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD GET A PICTURE WITH YOU. 247 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:28,194 UH...SURE. 248 00:10:28,232 --> 00:10:29,802 - HEY, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? - OH! 249 00:10:32,492 --> 00:10:34,792 YO, DE CAMPO. HERE WE ARE. 250 00:10:37,318 --> 00:10:39,708 CUT! 251 00:10:39,752 --> 00:10:42,052 WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH THIS TIME? 252 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,190 SORRY. [giggles] 253 00:10:46,621 --> 00:10:47,581 ACTION. 254 00:10:47,621 --> 00:10:49,151 YO, DE CAMPO. HERE WE ARE. 255 00:10:49,186 --> 00:10:50,536 YOU PROBABLY HEARD THAT WE PLAY 256 00:10:50,577 --> 00:10:52,797 BY OUR OWN SET OF RULES. 257 00:10:52,837 --> 00:10:54,097 SO TELL US WHO YOU WORK FOR 258 00:10:54,142 --> 00:10:56,062 OR THIS DOG'S GONNA PLAY FETCH WITH YOUR FACE. 259 00:10:56,098 --> 00:10:58,018 I'M NOT TALKING! 260 00:10:58,054 --> 00:10:59,624 AND GET THAT BEAST AWAY FROM ME! 261 00:10:59,662 --> 00:11:02,182 LET'S GO, REX! GET HIM! 262 00:11:04,966 --> 00:11:06,836 - YAY! - CUT! 263 00:11:09,313 --> 00:11:12,273 OKAY, EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP! 264 00:11:12,313 --> 00:11:15,843 THIS IS THE BIG STUNT. 265 00:11:15,878 --> 00:11:17,448 THERE CAN BE NO MISTAKES. 266 00:11:17,486 --> 00:11:19,276 WE CAN ONLY DO IT ONCE! 267 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,882 SO YOU'LL GO WHEN I SIGNAL. 268 00:11:22,921 --> 00:11:24,711 I HAVE TO PEE, 269 00:11:24,746 --> 00:11:26,396 BUT I DON'T WANT TO MISS THE STUNT. 270 00:11:26,442 --> 00:11:28,532 DO I HAVE TIME? 271 00:11:28,572 --> 00:11:29,702 - ABSOLUTELY. - PROBABLY NOT. 272 00:11:29,745 --> 00:11:31,915 - JUST GO. - SHOULD I GO OR NOT? 273 00:11:31,963 --> 00:11:32,913 - WHATEVER. - HOLD IT. 274 00:11:32,963 --> 00:11:33,913 JUST GO. 275 00:11:33,963 --> 00:11:36,093 BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 276 00:11:36,136 --> 00:11:37,836 GO! JUST GO! 277 00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:40,055 [tires screeching] 278 00:11:46,961 --> 00:11:49,571 WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME AND HAVE MORE KIDS? 279 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,270 - KEVIN? - ARE YOU OKAY? 280 00:11:57,307 --> 00:12:00,827 WELL, ONE MINUTE I WAS INTERVIEWING THE STUNT DRIVER, 281 00:12:00,872 --> 00:12:02,522 AND THE NEXT I WAS FLYING THROUGH THE AIR. 282 00:12:02,567 --> 00:12:05,057 BUT LUCKILY, THERE WERE SIX PIECES OF JAGGED METAL 283 00:12:05,089 --> 00:12:06,309 TO BREAK MY FALL. 284 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,220 [laughing] 285 00:12:08,263 --> 00:12:09,913 DAD, I'M SORRY. 286 00:12:09,958 --> 00:12:13,228 [sighs] ACCIDENTS HAPPEN. 287 00:12:13,262 --> 00:12:17,662 SPEAKING OF ACCIDENTS, STILL GOTTA GO HERE! 288 00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:19,306 EM, HELP YOUR SISTER OUT. YOUR FATHER AND I NEED TO TALK. 289 00:12:19,348 --> 00:12:20,488 SURE. 290 00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:22,092 I'LL GO CHECK ON THE QUICHES. 291 00:12:22,130 --> 00:12:23,000 I MEAN, KEVIN. 292 00:12:25,130 --> 00:12:28,010 WELL, HONEY, WE SAW THIS COMING. 293 00:12:28,042 --> 00:12:30,132 NAW, I MEAN, YOU KNOW THE OLD ADAGE. 294 00:12:30,173 --> 00:12:31,743 IT'S NOT A FAMILY VACATION 295 00:12:31,781 --> 00:12:33,911 UNTIL SOMEBODY DRIVES A CAR THROUGH A PLATE-GLASS WINDOW. 296 00:12:33,955 --> 00:12:35,435 OH, SWEETIE. 297 00:12:35,476 --> 00:12:37,566 YOU'RE A GREAT ACTOR, 298 00:12:37,607 --> 00:12:39,087 AN AMAZING FATHER, 299 00:12:39,128 --> 00:12:40,998 BUT A MOVIE SET IS NO PLACE FOR KIDS. 300 00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:42,961 LOOK, TOMORROW I'LL TAKE THEM HOME. 301 00:12:42,997 --> 00:12:44,607 WHAT--IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE, RIGHT? 302 00:12:44,649 --> 00:12:46,869 DADDY! HELP ME! 303 00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:48,690 - WHAT? - I'LL HELP YOU PACK. 304 00:12:52,734 --> 00:12:54,864 WE START IN THE CAR, DAVID. 305 00:12:54,909 --> 00:12:56,119 OKAY. THANK YOU. 306 00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:02,609 - MY DOCUMENTARY'S A DISASTER. - OH! 307 00:13:02,646 --> 00:13:04,696 KEVIN, HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED ANYTHING 308 00:13:04,733 --> 00:13:07,043 ABOUT SNEAKING INTO MOVIE CARS? 309 00:13:07,081 --> 00:13:08,911 I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS ANYMORE, DAVID. 310 00:13:08,950 --> 00:13:10,780 I'VE SHOT HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF FILM 311 00:13:10,819 --> 00:13:12,039 AND I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT. 312 00:13:12,081 --> 00:13:14,381 SO YOU KNOW, START SPREADING THE NEWS, 313 00:13:14,428 --> 00:13:15,858 'CAUSE IF I CAN'T MAKE IT HERE, 314 00:13:15,906 --> 00:13:19,206 I CAN'T MAKE IT ANYWHERE. 315 00:13:19,253 --> 00:13:21,903 I CAN'T DO THIS, DAVID. 316 00:13:21,948 --> 00:13:24,468 IT SEEMS LIKE ALL MY ENDINGS HAVE BEEN DONE BEFORE. 317 00:13:24,514 --> 00:13:26,954 WHAT, UH-- 318 00:13:26,992 --> 00:13:29,082 OKAY, LET ME GUESS. YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING. 319 00:13:29,121 --> 00:13:31,081 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, DAVID! 320 00:13:31,121 --> 00:13:33,381 [wailing] 321 00:13:33,425 --> 00:13:36,335 CHAZ IS GONE, AND HE'S NEVER COMING BACK. 322 00:13:36,381 --> 00:13:38,171 MY NAME'S NOT EVEN NICK BANNER. IT'S GLEN TISHMAN. 323 00:13:38,207 --> 00:13:39,557 I'M NO ACTOR. 324 00:13:39,598 --> 00:13:40,728 AND I'M NO FILMMAKER. 325 00:13:40,772 --> 00:13:42,732 I'M NOT A WRITER! 326 00:13:42,772 --> 00:13:45,342 WELL, I'M A GREAT ACTOR. 327 00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:47,560 I'M A HORRIBLE FATHER. 328 00:13:47,597 --> 00:13:50,997 [all sobbing] NO, PLEASE, PLEASE, 329 00:13:51,032 --> 00:13:52,552 FOR THE LOVE-- DON'T DO THIS. 330 00:13:52,597 --> 00:13:53,947 [phone ringing] 331 00:13:53,988 --> 00:13:57,598 HELLO. HEY, EMILY, IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 332 00:13:57,639 --> 00:14:01,379 FINE. MOM JUST NEEDED MONEY, SO WE WENT BACK TO THE BANK. 333 00:14:01,422 --> 00:14:03,562 AND WE JUST WANTED TO SAY GOOD-BYE AGAIN. 334 00:14:03,595 --> 00:14:05,375 all: WE LOVE YOU. 335 00:14:05,421 --> 00:14:08,941 OH. THANK YOU, SWEETHEART. I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT. 336 00:14:08,986 --> 00:14:10,246 ANYWAY, YOU WON'T BELIEVE 337 00:14:10,290 --> 00:14:12,250 THESE TWO CLOWNS IN LINE IN FRONT OF US. 338 00:14:12,289 --> 00:14:14,639 [chuckles] WHAT, TWO IDIOTS 339 00:14:14,681 --> 00:14:17,251 WITH COFFEE CANS FULL OF PENNIES? 340 00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,029 NO. REAL CLOWNS. 341 00:14:20,419 --> 00:14:21,679 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND! 342 00:14:21,723 --> 00:14:23,243 THIS IS A HOLD-UP! 343 00:14:23,288 --> 00:14:24,858 OH, NO, DAD! THEY'RE NOT CLOWNS. 344 00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:25,627 THEY'RE ROBBING THE BANK! 345 00:14:25,679 --> 00:14:26,719 WAIT, WHAT? 346 00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,156 HELP US, DADDY! 347 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,640 ALL RIGHT, WE'RE ON OUR WAY. 348 00:14:29,679 --> 00:14:31,289 EVERYBODY, BUCKLE UP. 349 00:14:31,331 --> 00:14:33,591 AMY AND THE KIDS ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROBBERY. 350 00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:36,164 WHAT? WELL, SHOULDN'T WE CALL THE POLICE? 351 00:14:36,199 --> 00:14:38,199 WE ARE THE POLICE. 352 00:14:40,199 --> 00:14:41,599 [tires screeching] 353 00:14:41,633 --> 00:14:44,463 [siren wailing] 354 00:14:44,503 --> 00:14:47,163 HEY, DAVID, I'M NOT SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. 355 00:14:47,198 --> 00:14:49,288 I HAVE TO SAVE MY FAMILY, MARCUS! 356 00:14:49,329 --> 00:14:51,339 OKAY. I HAVE TICKETS TO SEE {\an8}KINKY BOOTS, 357 00:14:51,371 --> 00:14:53,111 BUT I GUESS THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT. 358 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,768 [tires screeching] 359 00:14:56,805 --> 00:14:59,725 DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID AND NO ONE GETS HURT! 360 00:14:59,762 --> 00:15:02,682 OH, GREAT. NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS DOING SOMETHING STUPID 361 00:15:02,717 --> 00:15:04,367 WHERE EVERYBODY GETS HURT. 362 00:15:06,022 --> 00:15:09,022 YOU KNOW, FOR A CLOWN, YOU'RE NOT VERY FUNNY! 363 00:15:11,629 --> 00:15:13,719 [giggles] 364 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,030 OKAY, THAT'S FUNNY. 365 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,242 [siren wailing] 366 00:15:20,281 --> 00:15:21,411 YOU! TIE UP THE GUARD! 367 00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,754 WITH WHAT? 368 00:15:35,757 --> 00:15:37,407 DAVE, COULD YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN? 369 00:15:37,452 --> 00:15:39,932 I'M GETTING-- I'M GETTING CAR SICK OVER HERE. 370 00:15:39,974 --> 00:15:42,624 SUCK IT UP, GLEN. MY FAMILY NEEDS ME! 371 00:15:42,669 --> 00:15:45,579 [tires screeching] 372 00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:48,415 STAY HERE. 373 00:15:48,451 --> 00:15:50,111 GOOD--GOOD THINKIN'! 374 00:15:50,147 --> 00:15:52,537 I'LL FEED THE METER. ANYONE HAVE CHANGE? 375 00:15:56,363 --> 00:15:58,063 ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO CLOWNS! 376 00:15:58,102 --> 00:16:01,452 FUN TIME'S OVER. PLACE IS SURROUNDED. 377 00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:02,673 HE MADE IT! 378 00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:06,230 YO, FRANK. LET'S ROCK. AND ROLL. 379 00:16:06,275 --> 00:16:07,975 WHO THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS? 380 00:16:08,014 --> 00:16:10,714 WE'RE TWO OF NEW YORK'S FINEST. 381 00:16:10,753 --> 00:16:12,843 AND WE PLAY BY OUR OWN RULES. 382 00:16:12,883 --> 00:16:14,673 SO WHY DON'T YOU LET THESE PEOPLE GO, HUH? 383 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:15,928 THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 384 00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:21,020 - YES, IT IS. - NO, IT'S NOT. 385 00:16:21,056 --> 00:16:22,486 THAT'S NOT A VERY GOOD PLAN. 386 00:16:22,533 --> 00:16:24,453 I KNOW IT'S NOT. 387 00:16:24,490 --> 00:16:26,580 FYI, DAVID, YOU ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES 388 00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:27,920 BEFORE YOU GET A PARKING TICKET, 389 00:16:27,968 --> 00:16:28,878 AND THE CLOCK IS TICKING. 390 00:16:31,141 --> 00:16:35,491 DAVID? HEY, ISN'T THAT DAVID HOBBS? 391 00:16:35,531 --> 00:16:37,971 AND THAT MOVIE ACTOR, NICK BANNER? 392 00:16:38,010 --> 00:16:39,790 - NO WAY. - I KNOW, RIGHT? 393 00:16:39,836 --> 00:16:44,006 MOM, THEY LOVE DAD. 394 00:16:44,053 --> 00:16:46,403 ARE YOU KIDDING? I LOVE DAVID HOBBS! 395 00:16:48,182 --> 00:16:49,492 OMG! 396 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,530 - HUH! - NICK BANNER? 397 00:16:51,573 --> 00:16:55,703 OH, I'M SUCH A HUGE FAN. I'M TALKING HUGE! 398 00:16:55,747 --> 00:16:57,047 FUHGET ABOUT IT! 399 00:16:57,094 --> 00:16:59,534 OH, MY FAMILY LOVES {\an8} SEE DAD RUN. 400 00:16:59,572 --> 00:17:02,222 MINE, TOO. 401 00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:03,747 SO, WHY'D YOU QUIT? 402 00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:06,619 WELL, I QUIT TO, UH, I QUIT TO BE A REAL-- 403 00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:08,488 TO BE A REAL DAD. 404 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,747 GOOD FOR YOU. 405 00:17:10,788 --> 00:17:12,968 HEY, EXCUSE ME, BANK ROBBER. 406 00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:14,745 I KNOW YOU'VE GOT A CRIME TO COMMIT, 407 00:17:14,787 --> 00:17:18,657 BUT WOULD YOU MIND IF THE KIDS AND I COULD GET A PICTURE? 408 00:17:21,004 --> 00:17:22,004 ALL RIGHT, YEAH. 409 00:17:22,048 --> 00:17:23,478 MAKE IT QUICK. 410 00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:24,785 OH, THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY NICE. 411 00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:25,830 RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, YOUNG LADY. 412 00:17:25,874 --> 00:17:27,434 ALL RIGHT. 413 00:17:27,482 --> 00:17:28,742 READY. [click] 414 00:17:28,785 --> 00:17:29,835 ALL RIGHT, ONE FOR SAFETY! 415 00:17:29,873 --> 00:17:31,263 - YEAH. - OH, YEAH. 416 00:17:31,307 --> 00:17:32,607 [click] 417 00:17:32,655 --> 00:17:33,695 THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO. 418 00:17:33,742 --> 00:17:34,742 ALL RIGHT, HEY, YOU GUYS, 419 00:17:34,784 --> 00:17:36,914 WOULD YOU LIKE A PICTURE TOO? 420 00:17:36,959 --> 00:17:39,179 DON'T BE SHY. both: NAH, WE--OKAY! 421 00:17:39,219 --> 00:17:42,129 COME ON! NICK BANNER. 422 00:17:42,175 --> 00:17:44,085 - JUST ONE. - THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO. 423 00:17:44,132 --> 00:17:46,392 THE FLASH IS ON IF YOU DON'T-- - RIGHT. 424 00:17:46,435 --> 00:17:47,395 - HOW YOU DOING? - HEY. 425 00:17:47,435 --> 00:17:49,005 [all chatting] - ALL RIGHT. 426 00:17:49,044 --> 00:17:50,614 - OKAY, YOU READY? - ONE, TWO-- 427 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:53,133 EVERYBODY SAY... 428 00:17:53,174 --> 00:17:54,044 BUSTED! - HEY! WAIT! GIVE ME THAT-- 429 00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:56,437 HEY! HEY! HEY! 430 00:17:56,478 --> 00:17:57,818 TELL ME YOU ARE GETTING THAT. 431 00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,389 YEAH, EVERY FRAME! 432 00:17:59,434 --> 00:18:01,524 [patrons whimpering, screaming] 433 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,260 HOO...WAH! 434 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:27,300 [laughing] 435 00:18:27,343 --> 00:18:29,563 YOU KNOW WHAT FITS MORE CLOWNS THAN YOUR TINY CAR? 436 00:18:29,603 --> 00:18:31,733 JAIL. 437 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:35,177 FRANK, THIS CLOCK'S TICKING! THIS PLACE IS GONNA BLOW! 438 00:18:35,212 --> 00:18:36,912 EVERYBODY OUT OF HERE! 439 00:18:36,951 --> 00:18:38,871 [patrons screaming] 440 00:18:45,732 --> 00:18:46,512 SO HOW'D I DO, FRANK? 441 00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:48,998 WE STILL PARTNERS? 442 00:18:49,037 --> 00:18:50,127 YOU CAN BANK ON IT. 443 00:18:53,905 --> 00:18:56,555 all: OOOH! 444 00:19:01,165 --> 00:19:04,335 - OH-HO-HO! - CONGRATULATIONS, KEVIN! 445 00:19:04,382 --> 00:19:06,072 YOUR FIRST SCREEN CREDIT! 446 00:19:06,121 --> 00:19:09,901 THANK YOU. I AM NOW THE GO-TO CLOWN GUY. YEAH. 447 00:19:09,947 --> 00:19:10,987 THAT'S GREAT. ANY OFFERS? 448 00:19:11,034 --> 00:19:12,594 YEAH, ACTUALLY, I JUST GOT HIRED 449 00:19:12,642 --> 00:19:15,252 TO DIRECT A NEW PILOT ABOUT CLOWNS 450 00:19:15,294 --> 00:19:18,514 CALLED, {\an8}RICKLES, TICKLES, PICKLES, AND DESHAWN. 451 00:19:18,554 --> 00:19:19,564 YEAH. 452 00:19:21,641 --> 00:19:24,651 EMILY, CAN WE SEE YOUR SELFIE WITH NICK AGAIN? 453 00:19:24,683 --> 00:19:27,603 FINE. LAST TIME. 454 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,600 [kids laughing, chattering] 455 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:30,730 YOU GOT CLOWN BOMBED. 456 00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:35,550 MARCUS, THE MOVIE WAS AWESOME. 457 00:19:35,595 --> 00:19:37,125 AND THE ENDING WAS AMAZING. 458 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,950 WELL, THANK YOU. THE STUDIO THINKS SO, TOO. 459 00:19:38,986 --> 00:19:41,116 THEY OFFERED US TWO SEQUELS ALREADY. 460 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,900 {\an8}PARTNERS TWO: THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL. 461 00:19:43,942 --> 00:19:46,072 AND {\an8}PARTNERS THREE: I SAID IT WAS PERSONAL! 462 00:19:46,116 --> 00:19:47,336 BAM! 463 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,379 - REALLY? - WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? 464 00:19:51,419 --> 00:19:53,289 HE HASN'T SAID A THING! 465 00:19:56,158 --> 00:19:57,338 DAD... 466 00:19:57,375 --> 00:19:58,815 DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL US? 467 00:19:58,854 --> 00:20:00,464 OH, YEAH, GUYS, I'M SORRY. 468 00:20:00,505 --> 00:20:04,685 I, UM, I BURNT THE CHICKEN, SO I MADE BURGERS. 469 00:20:04,722 --> 00:20:08,212 DAVID, THE MOVIE. THE SEQUELS. 470 00:20:08,243 --> 00:20:09,683 YEAH, I KNOW. 471 00:20:09,721 --> 00:20:12,681 I KNOW IT'S THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME. 472 00:20:12,721 --> 00:20:15,421 BUT I ALREADY HAVE THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME. 473 00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:20,210 BEING YOUR HUSBAND AND BEING YOUR DAD. 474 00:20:20,241 --> 00:20:23,591 ON OUR SHOW, THAT WOULD'VE EARNED YOU A "AWWW." 475 00:20:25,241 --> 00:20:27,631 all: AWWWWW. 476 00:20:27,675 --> 00:20:29,765 [laughter] 477 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,853 UH, DAD? 478 00:20:34,892 --> 00:20:36,462 NO, NO, NO. DON'T RUIN THE MOMENT, JOE. 479 00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:37,760 OKAY. 480 00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:42,360 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32934

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