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1
00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:08,752
ALL RIGHT, TROOPS.
2
00:00:08,877 --> 00:00:10,877
I WANT YOU TO EAT UP
THESE FLAPJACKS
3
00:00:11,009 --> 00:00:12,749
AND SPIT SHINE THOSE PLATES.
4
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:14,489
- EW.
- GROSS.
5
00:00:14,618 --> 00:00:15,928
DAD, YOU'RE NOT GONNA TRY
AND BE A TOUGH GUY
6
00:00:16,053 --> 00:00:17,013
'CAUSE GRANDPA'S COMING, RIGHT?
7
00:00:17,141 --> 00:00:18,441
YOU'RE DARN RIGHT I AM.
8
00:00:18,576 --> 00:00:19,576
ANYBODY GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
- YEAH.
9
00:00:19,707 --> 00:00:22,617
- I DO.
- IT'S WEIRD.
10
00:00:22,751 --> 00:00:24,541
I NEVER GET TO DO
WHAT I WANT TO DO.
11
00:00:24,665 --> 00:00:26,885
WELL, I'M ON MY WAY
TO PICK UP MY FATHER
12
00:00:27,014 --> 00:00:28,974
FROM THE AIRPORT.
13
00:00:29,102 --> 00:00:30,182
HMM.
14
00:00:30,319 --> 00:00:31,669
MM.
15
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,628
OH, WHAT'S THIS?
16
00:00:33,755 --> 00:00:36,935
THAT'D BE HARD-CORE
MARINE COFFEE, SOLDIER!
17
00:00:37,061 --> 00:00:38,981
I JUST GREW HAIR ON MY CHEST.
18
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:40,715
REALLY?
GIVE ME SOME OF THAT.
19
00:00:40,844 --> 00:00:43,404
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR
VANILLA-HAZELNUT LATTE
20
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:45,282
WITH A DOLLOP
OF CREME FRAICHE, HUH?
21
00:00:45,411 --> 00:00:47,151
I AM NOT GONNA DRINK THAT
IN FRONT OF HIM.
22
00:00:47,282 --> 00:00:48,712
REMEMBER WHAT
HE CALLED ME LAST TIME--
23
00:00:48,847 --> 00:00:50,597
A SPINELESS BAG
OF PUPPY KISSES?
24
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,588
OKAY, IN HIS DEFENSE,
YOU WERE SIPPING IT
25
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,159
THROUGH A CINNAMON STICK,
WEARING A SHOWER CAP,
26
00:00:55,285 --> 00:00:57,325
IN A BUBBLE BATH.
27
00:00:57,459 --> 00:00:59,199
I HOPE GRANDPA
CAN STILL DO THAT TRICK
28
00:00:59,329 --> 00:01:00,859
WHERE HE WALKS ON HIS HANDS.
29
00:01:00,982 --> 00:01:03,372
I CAN WALK ON MY HANDS.
30
00:01:03,505 --> 00:01:05,855
I'M JUST NOT GONNA DO IT RIGHT
NOW 'CAUSE I HAD A MANICURE.
31
00:01:05,984 --> 00:01:09,074
EMPHASIS ON "MAN."
32
00:01:11,768 --> 00:01:12,678
YES!
33
00:01:12,812 --> 00:01:13,892
all:
GRANDPA!
34
00:01:14,031 --> 00:01:16,211
HO!
12 MILES IN RECORD TIME.
35
00:01:16,335 --> 00:01:18,425
HOORAH!
36
00:01:18,554 --> 00:01:19,554
HEY, DAD.
37
00:01:19,684 --> 00:01:22,164
I WAS--I WAS ON MY WAY
TO PICK YOU UP.
38
00:01:22,294 --> 00:01:23,954
YEAH, WELL, THE FLIGHT
GOT IN EARLY,
39
00:01:24,077 --> 00:01:25,297
SO I HOOFED IT FROM THE AIRPORT
40
00:01:25,425 --> 00:01:27,685
TILL MY HANDS GOT JEALOUS,
AND FOR THE LAST MILE,
41
00:01:27,818 --> 00:01:29,688
I DID THIS.
42
00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:38,956
[grunts]
TROOPS, ATTEN-HUT!
43
00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:41,172
YOU'RE MY GRANDKIDS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SALUTE ME.
44
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:44,521
OH, A HANDSHAKE
WILL DO JUST FINE.
45
00:01:48,216 --> 00:01:50,916
WELCOME, MAJOR.
COFFEE?
46
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,784
MM.
47
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:56,003
WHERE'D YOU GET IT FROM--
COFFEE BEAN AND LADY TEARS?
48
00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:57,872
ARE YOU HUNGRY, DADDY?
49
00:01:58,002 --> 00:01:59,922
DAVID MADE SOME MINI
QUICHE LORRAINES YESTERDAY.
50
00:02:00,047 --> 00:02:02,437
YOU'RE NOT HELPING ME, HONEY.
51
00:02:02,569 --> 00:02:05,489
SO, KIDS, GRAB MY BAG.
52
00:02:05,613 --> 00:02:08,053
[grunts]
53
00:02:08,179 --> 00:02:11,179
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
AT EASE, SOLDIERS.
54
00:02:11,311 --> 00:02:13,231
WAY TO GO, MR. HOLLYWOOD.
55
00:02:13,355 --> 00:02:15,135
LOOKS LIKE YOUR KIDS
ARE AS SOFT AS YOU ARE
56
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:18,009
AND YOUR
COCOA-BUTTER HANDSHAKE.
57
00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:21,310
KIDS, SHOW ME MY BARRACKS.
58
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:24,325
WELL, I BETTER GET READY
TO LEAVE, HONEY.
59
00:02:24,446 --> 00:02:27,356
GOT A HUGE TAP-DANCING SCENE
AS LITTLE SALLY DESARIO.
60
00:02:27,491 --> 00:02:29,361
LUCKY.
61
00:02:29,491 --> 00:02:32,981
I USED TO HAVE WORK AS AN EXCUSE
TO GET OUT OF FAMILY TIME.
62
00:02:33,101 --> 00:02:35,231
NOW I'M GONNA BE STUCK WITH HIM
FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS.
63
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:37,013
OH, DAVID, AT LEAST TRY.
64
00:02:37,147 --> 00:02:40,157
MAYBE SPENDING SOME QUALITY TIME
WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
65
00:02:40,277 --> 00:02:41,367
OH, YEAH.
66
00:02:41,496 --> 00:02:43,316
THE LAST 20 YEARS
DIDN'T MAKE A DENT.
67
00:02:43,452 --> 00:02:47,202
BUT THE NEXT TWO DAYS,
THAT'LL BREAK THE ICE, HONEY.
68
00:02:47,324 --> 00:02:50,104
I'M SO SORRY, DAVID.
I MESSED UP SO BAD.
69
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:52,849
YOU GOT CALLED IN
TO JURY DUTY,
70
00:02:52,977 --> 00:02:54,147
SO I WENT DOWN
TO THE COURTHOUSE
71
00:02:54,282 --> 00:02:55,592
TO PERSONALLY GET YOU
OUT OF IT,
72
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,587
BUT THEY WOULDN'T MAKE
AN EXCEPTION THIS TIME,
73
00:02:57,718 --> 00:02:58,848
NOT EVEN FOR YOU.
74
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,289
ARE YOU SAYING
WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SAYING?
75
00:03:01,416 --> 00:03:04,596
YEAH, DAVID,
YOU HAVE JURY DUTY TODAY.
76
00:03:04,721 --> 00:03:06,071
TODAY?
YES!
77
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,070
OH, THAT IS FANTASTIC NEWS!
78
00:03:09,201 --> 00:03:12,331
OH, WOW!
THIS IS SO BAD.
79
00:03:12,462 --> 00:03:13,602
OH, HONEY, I'M S--
I CAN'T SPEND QUALITY TIME
80
00:03:13,724 --> 00:03:16,764
WITH YOUR DAD NOW.
81
00:03:16,899 --> 00:03:18,339
[growls]
82
00:03:41,169 --> 00:03:44,209
DADDY, ARE YOU SNEAKING
A MINI QUICHE?
83
00:03:44,344 --> 00:03:45,254
NO.
84
00:03:45,387 --> 00:03:46,957
YES.
85
00:03:47,084 --> 00:03:48,954
DON'T TELL GRANDPA.
86
00:03:49,085 --> 00:03:50,345
DON'T TELL GRANDPA WHAT?
87
00:03:50,476 --> 00:03:53,346
OH, UH, WELL, MAJOR, UNFORTUNATELY,
88
00:03:53,477 --> 00:03:55,617
I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SPEND
ANY QUALITY TIME WITH YOU
89
00:03:55,738 --> 00:03:58,518
BECAUSE...
OH, I HAVE JURY DUTY.
90
00:03:58,652 --> 00:03:59,702
[growls]
91
00:03:59,827 --> 00:04:01,177
JURY DUTY?
92
00:04:01,306 --> 00:04:02,656
WHAT'S THAT?
93
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,265
WELL, THAT'S WHERE
I GET TO TELL WHETHER OR NOT
94
00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:05,784
SOMEBODY HAS DONE
SOMETHING WRONG
95
00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:07,136
AND PUNISH THEM.
96
00:04:07,265 --> 00:04:10,135
LIKE WHEN THE TEACHER
GIVES YOU TIME-OUT?
97
00:04:10,266 --> 00:04:14,186
YEAH, BUT THESE ARE, LIKE,
TIME-OUTS FOR FIVE TO TEN YEARS.
98
00:04:14,310 --> 00:04:17,180
- WOW. TOUGH SCHOOL.
- YEAH.
99
00:04:17,311 --> 00:04:19,971
WOW, DAVID. I'M SURPRISED YOU
DIDN'T PULL THE CELEBRITY CARD
100
00:04:20,095 --> 00:04:23,095
AND FINAGLE YOUR WAY OUT OF IT.
101
00:04:23,226 --> 00:04:25,536
DAD, SINCE THE KIDS
ARE ON SCHOOL VACATION,
102
00:04:25,662 --> 00:04:26,662
I TOLD 'EM YOU'RE IN CHARGE,
103
00:04:26,793 --> 00:04:28,403
SO MAYBE THIS AFTERNOON
YOU CAN ALL WATCH
104
00:04:28,533 --> 00:04:29,623
MY SOAP OPERA TOGETHER?
105
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:30,930
I DOUBT IF WE'LL HAVE TIME.
106
00:04:31,055 --> 00:04:32,615
I GOT TO TOUGHEN
THESE KIDS UP.
107
00:04:32,751 --> 00:04:35,631
PICKING UP
SOME OF DAVID'S SLACK.
108
00:04:35,752 --> 00:04:39,012
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR,
I PICK UP DAVID'S SLACKS.
109
00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:41,495
[chuckles]
- STOP TALKING, PLEASE.
110
00:04:41,624 --> 00:04:43,414
- IT'S MY JOB. I DO.
- I HAVE TO GO SERVE MY COUNTRY.
111
00:04:43,538 --> 00:04:45,278
OKAY, DAD, THERE'S FOOD
IN THE FRIDGE.
112
00:04:45,408 --> 00:04:46,448
YOU KNOW MY CELL.
113
00:04:46,582 --> 00:04:48,802
AND IF YOU GUYS DECIDE
TO WATCH THE SHOW,
114
00:04:48,931 --> 00:04:54,031
IT'S ACTUALLY ON CHANNEL--
- GOT IT.
115
00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:56,980
EMILY, JOE, JANIE,
116
00:04:57,108 --> 00:04:59,848
I'VE BEEN PUT IN CHARGE
OF THIS OUTPOST,
117
00:04:59,978 --> 00:05:01,498
SO WE GOT A BUSY DAY
OF BOOT CAMP.
118
00:05:01,631 --> 00:05:03,591
WE'RE GONNA START
WITH CALISTHENICS,
119
00:05:03,719 --> 00:05:06,939
SELF-DEFENSE,
THEN LUNCH,
120
00:05:07,068 --> 00:05:10,118
AND THEN
WE'LL REALLY START WORKING.
121
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,633
WHAT IF WE HAVE TO PEE?
122
00:05:12,765 --> 00:05:15,035
NOT ON MY WATCH.
123
00:05:15,158 --> 00:05:19,158
WHY WOULD I PEE
ON YOUR WATCH?
124
00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:21,990
GRANDPA, SIR,
125
00:05:22,117 --> 00:05:24,517
AS MUCH AS I LOVE
A HIGHLY STRUCTURED DAY,
126
00:05:24,639 --> 00:05:26,729
I'VE GOT
A TON OF HOMEWORK TO DO.
127
00:05:26,857 --> 00:05:29,727
WELL, EMILY, I APPLAUD
YOUR DEDICATION TO ACADEMIA.
128
00:05:29,858 --> 00:05:32,948
THAT'S AN HONORABLE
DISCHARGE FOR YOU.
129
00:05:33,077 --> 00:05:34,777
YOUR LOSS, EMILY.
130
00:05:34,904 --> 00:05:36,254
THIS IS GONNA GIVE ME
THE SIX-PACK
131
00:05:36,383 --> 00:05:37,383
THE LADIES
HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR.
132
00:05:37,513 --> 00:05:38,553
YEAH!
133
00:05:38,687 --> 00:05:41,257
NO ONE'S WAITING, JOE.
134
00:05:45,516 --> 00:05:47,776
WELL, THOSE LAWYERS
DIDN'T TAKE MUCH TIME
135
00:05:47,908 --> 00:05:49,388
MAKING THEIR CASE.
136
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,217
WELL, THERE WAS A LOT
OF OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE
137
00:05:51,344 --> 00:05:52,344
AGAINST THE DEFENDANT.
138
00:05:52,475 --> 00:05:54,255
WE'LL BE OUT OF HERE
IN NO TIME,
139
00:05:54,389 --> 00:05:55,689
AND WE CAN ALL GO HOME
AND SEE OUR FAMILIES.
140
00:05:55,824 --> 00:05:57,084
WHOA, WHOA.
141
00:05:57,216 --> 00:05:57,786
SLOW YOUR ROLL THERE,
NUMBER TWO.
142
00:05:57,912 --> 00:05:59,392
WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?
143
00:05:59,521 --> 00:06:01,351
WE'RE HERE TO SERVE JUSTICE,
MY FRIEND,
144
00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:02,918
AND THAT TAKES TIME.
145
00:06:03,043 --> 00:06:05,083
IT MIGHT TAKE A WHOLE DAY...
146
00:06:05,219 --> 00:06:06,959
POSSIBLY THREE.
147
00:06:07,089 --> 00:06:09,359
THE SURVEILLANCE CAMERA
SHOWED THE DEFENDANT
148
00:06:09,481 --> 00:06:10,871
WALKING OUT OF THE STORE
WITH THE FLAT SCREEN
149
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:14,663
UNDER HIS JACKET.
150
00:06:14,787 --> 00:06:17,437
YOUR POINT?
151
00:06:17,571 --> 00:06:19,621
AND HE POSTED A PICTURE
OF HIMSELF
152
00:06:19,745 --> 00:06:23,315
WITH A CAPTION SAYING, "CHECK
OUT THE 3-D TV I STOLE."
153
00:06:23,442 --> 00:06:26,482
W-W-WHAT IF HE WAS SOMEONE
WHO LOOKED JUST LIKE HIM?
154
00:06:26,617 --> 00:06:31,367
BEING A BIG TV STAR,
I-I'VE HAD MANY STUNT DOUBLES.
155
00:06:31,489 --> 00:06:34,579
WHY WOULD THE GUY
HAVE A STUNT DOUBLE?
156
00:06:34,707 --> 00:06:37,927
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE
TO FIND OUT.
157
00:06:38,055 --> 00:06:40,975
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M
ON THE SAME JURY AS DAVID HOBBS.
158
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,710
MY NAME IS--
- NO, NO, NO.
159
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,580
DON'T TELL ME.
I WON'T REMEMBER.
160
00:06:44,710 --> 00:06:47,670
LOOK, WE JUST ALL NEED
TO ELECT A FOREMAN
161
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:49,148
AND GET THE JOB DONE.
162
00:06:49,277 --> 00:06:53,147
I NOMINATE
JUROR NUMBER THREE.
163
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,549
- WHO'S WITH HER?
- [sputters]
164
00:06:54,671 --> 00:06:56,101
OKAY.
165
00:06:56,237 --> 00:06:57,767
NOW, AS YOUR
NEWLY ELECTED FOREMAN,
166
00:06:57,889 --> 00:07:01,629
I THINK IT'S TIME THAT WE DIG
INTO THE FACTS OF THIS CASE.
167
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,330
AND THE FACT IS--
168
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:05,456
LOOK AT THAT--LUNCHTIME.
PIZZA, ANYBODY?
169
00:07:05,588 --> 00:07:06,808
- OOH!
- OKAY.
170
00:07:06,936 --> 00:07:09,156
WE DON'T NEED PIZZA.
W-WE NEED A VERDICT.
171
00:07:09,284 --> 00:07:11,284
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!
172
00:07:11,416 --> 00:07:14,246
DAVID HOBBS AND I ARE HUNGRY.
173
00:07:14,373 --> 00:07:16,593
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM,
NUMBER TWO?
174
00:07:16,721 --> 00:07:17,901
IS THERE SOMEWHERE
YOU NEED TO BE?
175
00:07:18,026 --> 00:07:20,246
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TONIGHT.
176
00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:22,895
REALLY?
OH, I LIKE BIRTHDAYS.
177
00:07:23,028 --> 00:07:24,558
ALL THOSE IN FAVOR
178
00:07:24,681 --> 00:07:25,681
OF A COURTROOM-THEMED
BIRTHDAY PARTY SAY, "AYE."
179
00:07:25,811 --> 00:07:26,681
all: AYE!
180
00:07:26,812 --> 00:07:28,682
OKAY.
181
00:07:28,812 --> 00:07:30,942
ALL RIGHT, OVER THE HURDLES,
OVER THE HURDLES, COME ON.
182
00:07:31,074 --> 00:07:32,814
YOU'VE ONLY BEEN DOING THIS
FOR AN HOUR.
183
00:07:32,945 --> 00:07:34,335
YOU SHOULDN'T BE THAT TIRED.
184
00:07:34,467 --> 00:07:35,857
COME ON, COME ON.
GET LOW, GET LOW.
185
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,819
YOU CALL THAT LOW?
186
00:07:37,946 --> 00:07:42,386
SLITHER LIKE A WORM,
YOU GRUNT!
187
00:07:42,513 --> 00:07:44,603
COME ON, COME ON.
FASTER, FASTER, FASTER.
188
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:45,771
FASTER.
189
00:07:45,905 --> 00:07:47,475
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO,
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
190
00:07:47,602 --> 00:07:48,732
- OOH!
- OH.
191
00:07:48,863 --> 00:07:51,173
THAT'S JUST SAD.
192
00:07:51,299 --> 00:07:53,259
UH, WHAT'S THIS?
193
00:07:53,386 --> 00:07:54,646
IT'S AN OBSTACLE COURSE
194
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,648
TO STRENGTHEN AGILITY
AND BALANCE.
195
00:07:56,779 --> 00:07:58,079
FUN.
196
00:07:58,214 --> 00:07:59,694
GOING TO TAYLOR'S.
197
00:07:59,823 --> 00:08:01,003
IT'S OKAY, EMILY.
198
00:08:01,128 --> 00:08:02,868
I KNOW YOU'RE
A LITTLE DELICATE FOR THIS.
199
00:08:02,998 --> 00:08:06,218
DAUGHTERS DON'T FALL FAR
FROM THE BAG OF PUPPY KISSES.
200
00:08:06,348 --> 00:08:08,438
PLEASE, GRANDPA.
201
00:08:08,565 --> 00:08:09,955
IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO STUDY,
202
00:08:10,087 --> 00:08:12,657
THIS PUPPY WOULD SAIL THROUGH
YOUR LITTLE JUNGLE GYM,
203
00:08:12,785 --> 00:08:15,045
WAG MY TAIL,
THEN BURY YOUR FAVORITE SHOE
204
00:08:15,177 --> 00:08:18,437
IN THE BACKYARD,
SO TALK TO THE PAW.
205
00:08:18,569 --> 00:08:23,529
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT,
SPONGE BUTT FLABBY PANTS.
206
00:08:25,615 --> 00:08:27,265
[normal voice]
OH, IT IS ON.
207
00:08:27,398 --> 00:08:28,358
[clicks switch]
208
00:08:28,486 --> 00:08:31,626
OKAY, NOW IT'S ON.
209
00:08:31,747 --> 00:08:33,837
[all cheering]
210
00:08:33,966 --> 00:08:35,786
OH! OKAY!
211
00:08:35,923 --> 00:08:37,363
HEAR YE! HEAR YE!
212
00:08:37,489 --> 00:08:39,279
[pounds table]
OH.
213
00:08:39,402 --> 00:08:41,362
THIS COURT WILL COME TO ORDER
214
00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:45,790
AND WISH JUROR NUMBER TWO
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
215
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,196
[overlapping chatter]
216
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,228
[all cheering]
217
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,933
IT'S PIÑATA TIME!
218
00:08:52,059 --> 00:08:55,929
[all cheering]
219
00:08:56,061 --> 00:08:58,801
OKAY, LET HER RIP.
220
00:08:58,931 --> 00:09:00,101
GO!
221
00:09:00,236 --> 00:09:03,156
[all cheering, laughing]
222
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,631
I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN!
[screams]
223
00:09:07,586 --> 00:09:11,456
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I GOT KICKED OFF THE JURY.
224
00:09:11,587 --> 00:09:12,987
I'M GONNA BE STUCK LISTENING
TO THE MAJOR
225
00:09:13,109 --> 00:09:14,459
TELL ME HOW THE PRIMA DONNA
226
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,328
CAN'T HANDLE BEING
A REGULAR CITIZEN.
227
00:09:16,459 --> 00:09:18,549
DAVID, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO GO IN THERE.
228
00:09:18,677 --> 00:09:19,807
THERE'S ANOTHER WAY.
229
00:09:19,938 --> 00:09:21,328
LIKE WHAT?
230
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:25,031
I HAVE HIS AND HIS
RUNNING-AWAY KITS.
231
00:09:27,245 --> 00:09:30,375
I GOT CURRENCY,
TICKETS, FAKE SWISS I.D.s.
232
00:09:30,507 --> 00:09:34,517
IN 12 HOURS, WE COULD BE SKIING
IN ZURICH.
233
00:09:34,639 --> 00:09:35,899
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
234
00:09:36,030 --> 00:09:38,860
NO, NO,
I CAN'T LIE TO HIM.
235
00:09:38,989 --> 00:09:40,909
ALL RIGHT,
I GOT ONE MORE DAY
236
00:09:41,032 --> 00:09:43,202
OF HIM TAKING POTSHOTS
AT ME.
237
00:09:43,338 --> 00:09:45,078
JUST THINK ABOUT IT, DAVID,
238
00:09:45,208 --> 00:09:49,428
OR SHOULD I SAY
"DIETER VON HOBBSENBURG"?
239
00:09:51,906 --> 00:09:53,816
OH!
240
00:09:53,950 --> 00:09:55,430
I'LL BE THERE SOON, TAYLOR.
241
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:58,220
I'M JUST
A LITTLE TIED UP RIGHT NOW.
242
00:09:59,604 --> 00:10:00,954
WHAT IS ALL THIS?
243
00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:02,173
OH, DAD!
PLEASE SAVE ME.
244
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:03,821
OH!
245
00:10:03,953 --> 00:10:06,093
OH, DAD.
246
00:10:06,216 --> 00:10:08,866
I'M NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS.
247
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,789
"NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS"?
248
00:10:10,913 --> 00:10:13,913
I DIDN'T THINK YOUR FATHER
WAS CUT OUT FOR JURY DUTY,
249
00:10:14,044 --> 00:10:15,954
BUT HE SHOWED UP
AND DID HIS PART.
250
00:10:16,088 --> 00:10:19,388
AND I'M PROUD OF YOU.
251
00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:24,443
"PROUD"?
252
00:10:24,570 --> 00:10:26,310
OF ME?
253
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,010
YOU KNOW...
[stammers]
254
00:10:29,136 --> 00:10:31,186
I WAS ELECTED JURY FOREMAN.
255
00:10:31,311 --> 00:10:32,741
JOE, DID YOU HEAR THAT?
256
00:10:32,876 --> 00:10:34,056
EMILY?
257
00:10:34,182 --> 00:10:36,702
YOUR FATHER'S IN COMMAND.
258
00:10:36,835 --> 00:10:40,395
I-I MISJUDGED YOU, SON.
259
00:10:45,141 --> 00:10:47,441
"SON"?
260
00:10:47,578 --> 00:10:49,228
LITTLE HELP OVER HERE, GRANDPA.
261
00:10:49,361 --> 00:10:50,881
I'M COMING.
262
00:10:51,014 --> 00:10:53,064
WELL, IT'S--IT'S TOO BAD
YOU'RE LEAVING, MAJOR,
263
00:10:53,188 --> 00:10:57,058
BECAUSE TOMORROW
I GIVE MY BIG FOREMAN SPEECH
264
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,850
WHERE I DELIVER THE VERDICT.
265
00:10:58,972 --> 00:11:01,452
OH, THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.
266
00:11:01,583 --> 00:11:03,323
[whispers]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
267
00:11:03,452 --> 00:11:05,152
HE CALLED ME "SON."
268
00:11:05,279 --> 00:11:07,629
YEAH, WELL, I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE
TO FORGET IT.
269
00:11:07,759 --> 00:11:08,979
YOU KNOW, I KNOW
WHAT A STICKLER YOU ARE
270
00:11:09,107 --> 00:11:10,847
FOR STICKING TO A SCHEDULE.
271
00:11:10,977 --> 00:11:13,627
YOU KNOW, FOR THIS,
I'LL CHANGE MY SCHEDULE.
272
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:16,632
WHO WANTS TO GO SEE DAD
273
00:11:16,762 --> 00:11:18,462
IN ACTION
AT THE COURTHOUSE TOMORROW?
274
00:11:18,589 --> 00:11:21,199
OH, ME.
PLEASE, ME.
275
00:11:21,329 --> 00:11:23,589
ARE--ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO DO THAT?
276
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,720
WELL, ABSOLUTELY.
277
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,642
AND...
278
00:11:28,766 --> 00:11:30,726
UH, CALL ME "DAD."
279
00:11:33,594 --> 00:11:36,254
OH.
OKAY, DAD.
280
00:11:39,378 --> 00:11:40,508
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, DAVID?
281
00:11:40,639 --> 00:11:41,769
HE'S BRINGING THE KIDS DOWN
TO SEE YOU,
282
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:43,380
AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN
ON THE JURY.
283
00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:45,210
LOOK, HE CALLED ME "SON."
284
00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:47,517
IMAGINE IF I CALLED YOU "SON."
285
00:11:47,642 --> 00:11:50,642
OH.
286
00:11:50,774 --> 00:11:52,954
EXACTLY.
ONLY I DIDN'T DROOL.
287
00:11:53,078 --> 00:11:54,378
YOU DID A LITTLE.
288
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,944
I GOT IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?
289
00:11:56,079 --> 00:11:57,609
I'M GONNA ACT SICK. LOOK...
290
00:11:57,732 --> 00:11:59,162
[coughs]
291
00:11:59,298 --> 00:12:00,698
I LOOK SICK?
- EW. OH, YEAH.
292
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,430
I MEAN, YOUR PERFORMANCE
IS FLAWLESS,
293
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,120
BUT YOU LOOK RADIANT
AS ALWAYS.
294
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,307
[clears throat]
295
00:12:05,431 --> 00:12:08,081
CURSE MY INNER GLOW.
296
00:12:08,214 --> 00:12:10,834
WAIT.
I HAVE AN IDEA.
297
00:12:10,954 --> 00:12:12,774
REMEMBER EPISODE 134
WHEN WE SHOT
298
00:12:12,911 --> 00:12:14,001
ON LOCATION IN PARIS--
299
00:12:14,129 --> 00:12:17,959
{\an8}SEE DAD GET HIS HUNCHBACK?
300
00:12:18,087 --> 00:12:20,437
RINGS A BELL.
301
00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:25,698
EASY PEASY.
302
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,919
OH!
- OH, GRANDPA!
303
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:29,397
OW!
304
00:12:29,526 --> 00:12:31,306
OH!
305
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,660
NOT SO EASY WHEN YOU'RE
FACING ENEMY FIRE, HUH?
306
00:12:34,789 --> 00:12:38,219
GRANDPA,
I'M IN SEVENTH GRADE.
307
00:12:38,356 --> 00:12:40,396
THE ONLY ENEMY FIRE I GET
IS ON MY THIGHS
308
00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:42,790
WHEN I SLIDE DOWN THE ROPE
IN GYM CLASS.
309
00:12:42,922 --> 00:12:44,232
HE'S RIGHT, GRANDPA.
310
00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:45,748
WE ARE NEVER GONNA NEED
ANY OF THIS.
311
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,490
NOT TRUE.
312
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:49,010
YOU'RE GONNA NEED THIS
WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.
313
00:12:49,142 --> 00:12:51,272
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE
A REGULAR GRANDPA
314
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:53,143
INSTEAD OF TREATING US
LIKE SOLDIERS?
315
00:12:53,274 --> 00:12:54,884
THAT'S IT?
316
00:12:55,013 --> 00:12:57,103
YOU'RE SURRENDERING?
317
00:12:57,231 --> 00:13:01,411
SOFT,
JUST LIKE THEIR DADDY.
318
00:13:02,973 --> 00:13:04,843
I'M HOME.
319
00:13:04,973 --> 00:13:08,843
DAD, IT LOOKS JUST LIKE
THE HOUSE I GREW UP IN,
320
00:13:08,975 --> 00:13:11,595
EXCEPT
WITHOUT THE BARBED WIRE.
321
00:13:11,715 --> 00:13:13,405
NEXT VISIT.
322
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,982
SO DID YOU GET A CHANCE
TO WATCH MY SHOW?
323
00:13:16,107 --> 00:13:17,637
I WAS A LITTLE BUSY HERE
324
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,190
TRYING TO TURN YOUR POWDER PUFFS
INTO SOLDIERS.
325
00:13:20,326 --> 00:13:22,636
OH, OKAY, I UNDERSTAND.
326
00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:24,762
BUT IT'S NOT EVERY DAY
YOUR DAUGHTER'S ON TV.
327
00:13:24,893 --> 00:13:26,373
ACTUALLY, IT IS EVERY DAY.
328
00:13:26,502 --> 00:13:27,772
YOU KNOW WHAT?
329
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:31,544
IT'LL GIVE YOU A CHANCE
TO MISS IT TOMORROW.
330
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,208
OH, HEY, HONEY.
331
00:13:33,331 --> 00:13:36,501
LISTEN, MY HUNCHBACK
IS REALLY FLARING UP TODAY.
332
00:13:36,637 --> 00:13:39,597
I DON'T THINK I CAN MAKE IT
BACK TO JURY DUTY.
333
00:13:39,725 --> 00:13:40,815
DAVID, WHY ARE YOU DOING
334
00:13:40,942 --> 00:13:43,512
YOUR {\an8}SEE DAD GET HIS HUNCHBACK
BIT?
335
00:13:45,596 --> 00:13:49,516
CAN I SEE YOU
IN THE KITCHEN, PLEASE?
336
00:13:49,641 --> 00:13:51,331
YOUR FATHER CAN'T COME
TO THE COURTHOUSE.
337
00:13:51,468 --> 00:13:53,548
I GOT KICKED OFF THE JURY.
338
00:13:53,686 --> 00:13:55,646
NOW HE'S PROUD OF ME.
HE CALLED ME "SON."
339
00:13:55,773 --> 00:13:57,993
I CALLED HIM "DAD."
IT'S A WHOLE THING.
340
00:13:58,122 --> 00:13:59,652
WOW. HE'S GONNA GO
ALL THE WAY
341
00:13:59,775 --> 00:14:00,815
TO A COURTROOM
TO SEE YOU,
342
00:14:00,949 --> 00:14:02,609
BUT HE CAN'T EVEN POINT
THE REMOTE
343
00:14:02,733 --> 00:14:04,733
TO THE TV
TO WATCH MY SHOW?
344
00:14:04,863 --> 00:14:08,303
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I BET HE'S NEVER EVEN SEEN IT.
345
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,520
THAT'S IT.
I'LL PUT ON A SHOW.
346
00:14:10,648 --> 00:14:12,738
- WHAT?
- I'LL FAKE THE WHOLE THING--
347
00:14:12,866 --> 00:14:16,826
THE JURY, THE COURTROOM,
THE JUDGE, EVERYTHING.
348
00:14:18,303 --> 00:14:20,823
ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING
TO ME?
349
00:14:20,956 --> 00:14:22,176
YEAH, I WAS AT FIRST,
BUT WHAT I WAS SAYING
350
00:14:22,305 --> 00:14:24,045
WAS WAY MORE INTERESTING, HONEY.
351
00:14:27,697 --> 00:14:30,527
OKAY, PEOPLE, LET'S GO OVER
MY SCRIPT ONE MORE TIME.
352
00:14:30,655 --> 00:14:33,525
NOW, WHEN THE JUDGE SAYS,
"GUILTY AS CHARGED,"
353
00:14:33,656 --> 00:14:36,006
YOU STAND UP AND SAY,
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE,"
354
00:14:36,135 --> 00:14:37,875
AND ATTACK THE BAILIFF.
355
00:14:38,006 --> 00:14:40,146
THEN DAVID WILL HEROICALLY LEAP
OUT OF THE JURY BOX
356
00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:41,307
AND TAKE YOU DOWN.
357
00:14:41,441 --> 00:14:43,311
NOW, NO MATTER
WHAT HAPPENS, PEOPLE,
358
00:14:43,442 --> 00:14:44,922
STAY IN CHARACTER.
359
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,751
AH. AH.
360
00:14:47,878 --> 00:14:48,878
OKAY. OH!
361
00:14:49,009 --> 00:14:50,189
COPY THAT.
OKAY, GUYS.
362
00:14:50,315 --> 00:14:51,835
IT'S SHOWTIME!
363
00:14:51,967 --> 00:14:54,497
IN THREE, TWO, AND...
- HEY.
364
00:15:05,450 --> 00:15:09,060
AH, THE AMERICAN
JUSTICE SYSTEM--
365
00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:12,970
THIS IS WHY I SACRIFICED
MY BIG TOE OVERSEAS.
366
00:15:14,888 --> 00:15:17,198
YOU KNOW, DAD,
I ONCE WON AN AWARD
367
00:15:17,324 --> 00:15:18,714
PLAYING A LAWYER
ON A SOAP.
368
00:15:18,846 --> 00:15:20,286
AND I WON THE MEDAL
OF HONOR
369
00:15:20,412 --> 00:15:24,982
FOR THROWING MYSELF
ON A LIVE GRENADE.
370
00:15:25,109 --> 00:15:26,759
[imitates explosion]
371
00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:31,422
ALL RISE, FOR THE HONORABLE
JUDGE BOB SKYWALKER.
372
00:15:34,547 --> 00:15:38,427
YOU MAY BE SEATED.
373
00:15:38,548 --> 00:15:40,848
JURORS, THANK YOU
FOR YOUR SERVICE,
374
00:15:40,984 --> 00:15:43,514
ESPECIALLY TO OUR FOREMAN,
DAVID HOBBS,
375
00:15:43,637 --> 00:15:45,677
WHO TOOK TIME AWAY
FROM HIS LIFE
376
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:47,421
TO SERVE THE COURT.
377
00:15:47,551 --> 00:15:50,511
JURY, HAVE YOU REACHED
A VERDICT?
378
00:15:50,639 --> 00:15:52,079
YES, WE HAVE, YOUR HONOR.
379
00:15:52,205 --> 00:15:54,165
OH, PLEASE, MR. HOBBS,
380
00:15:54,293 --> 00:15:57,293
THE HONOR IS ALL MINE.
381
00:15:57,425 --> 00:15:58,955
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE
AN OPENING COMMENT
382
00:15:59,077 --> 00:16:00,687
OR OBSERVATION,
MR. FOREMAN?
383
00:16:00,817 --> 00:16:04,297
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
384
00:16:04,427 --> 00:16:06,517
I BELIEVE THAT IT'S UP
385
00:16:06,645 --> 00:16:09,215
TO EACH AND EVERYONE
ONE OF US
386
00:16:09,342 --> 00:16:13,082
TO UPHOLD THE LAWS
OF THIS GREAT NATION.
387
00:16:13,213 --> 00:16:16,433
AND ON THAT NOTE,
I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT
388
00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:18,001
AND GIVE A SPECIAL THANKS
389
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:22,177
TO THE BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN
OF THE UNITED STATES MILITARY...
390
00:16:22,303 --> 00:16:25,043
WHO SACRIFICE
SO MUCH FOR US,
391
00:16:25,173 --> 00:16:28,483
ESPECIALLY BIG TOES.
392
00:16:31,654 --> 00:16:32,864
AND ON THAT NOTE,
393
00:16:33,002 --> 00:16:34,792
I'D ALSO LIKE TO THANK
THE JURY,
394
00:16:34,915 --> 00:16:39,485
WHO, WITH MY STEADY
AND FAIR LEADERSHIP,
395
00:16:39,613 --> 00:16:41,003
FIND THE DEFENDANT,
BART VADER,
396
00:16:41,135 --> 00:16:42,315
GUILTY OF BURGLARY!
397
00:16:42,441 --> 00:16:43,571
[all gasp]
398
00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:45,092
THIS MAN HAS BURGLED,
AND AS A "BURGLARIST,"
399
00:16:45,224 --> 00:16:46,444
HE SHOULD DO HIS TIME!
400
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,052
THANK YOU.
- GUILTY AS CHARGED!
401
00:16:49,181 --> 00:16:52,061
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA
TAKE ME ALIVE!
402
00:16:52,182 --> 00:16:54,962
I GOT THIS!
OOH!
403
00:16:55,096 --> 00:16:57,796
LET'S GET HIM.
404
00:17:03,404 --> 00:17:05,534
[groans]
405
00:17:05,665 --> 00:17:08,625
HEY! COME HERE!
406
00:17:08,753 --> 00:17:10,883
- HEY!
- HUH?
407
00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:13,715
[grunts]
OOH!
408
00:17:24,324 --> 00:17:25,194
HEY!
409
00:17:25,325 --> 00:17:27,455
UH! OH!
410
00:17:32,371 --> 00:17:35,381
- WE DID IT!
- YES!
411
00:17:38,329 --> 00:17:41,989
HOLY SHRAPNEL.
412
00:17:42,113 --> 00:17:44,423
CRUDITE?
413
00:17:50,115 --> 00:17:52,075
DAD, THAT WAS
THE MOST AWESOME FAKE THING
414
00:17:52,203 --> 00:17:53,633
YOU HAVE EVER DONE.
415
00:17:53,769 --> 00:17:56,909
THANK YOU, SON.
NICE TACKLE.
416
00:17:57,031 --> 00:17:59,601
WELL, YOU WERE RIGHT, GRANDPA.
417
00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:01,598
I GUESS ALL THAT TRAINING
REALLY DID PAY OFF.
418
00:18:01,729 --> 00:18:03,949
YEAH, AND YOU DID IT
WHEN IT COUNTED...
419
00:18:04,077 --> 00:18:08,557
WELL, WHEN YOU THOUGHT
IT COUNTED.
420
00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:10,297
both:
THANKS, GRANDPA.
421
00:18:10,427 --> 00:18:13,037
YOU KNOW, I PUSHED
YOU KIDS HARD,
422
00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:15,387
BUT, YOU KNOW,
IT'S ALL I KNOW.
423
00:18:15,516 --> 00:18:19,516
YOU'RE THE LAST SOLDIERS
I'VE GOT.
424
00:18:19,648 --> 00:18:21,828
TROOPS, ATTEN-HUT!
425
00:18:21,953 --> 00:18:23,123
OH, COME ON.
426
00:18:23,258 --> 00:18:25,048
AT EASE.
427
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:26,952
GRANDPA NEEDS A HUG.
428
00:18:27,085 --> 00:18:28,825
GRANDPA.
429
00:18:28,955 --> 00:18:29,875
UGH.
430
00:18:29,999 --> 00:18:31,479
NEED AIR.
431
00:18:31,608 --> 00:18:34,308
OOH.
432
00:18:34,436 --> 00:18:37,956
[laughing]
433
00:18:38,089 --> 00:18:41,049
- DAVID?
- YES?
434
00:18:41,177 --> 00:18:43,007
WE NEED TO TALK.
435
00:18:43,134 --> 00:18:44,444
UH...
436
00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:46,700
ABOUT WHAT?
437
00:18:46,831 --> 00:18:48,531
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT HE'S NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT--
438
00:18:48,658 --> 00:18:49,958
MY SHOW.
439
00:18:50,093 --> 00:18:52,573
[sighs]
440
00:18:52,703 --> 00:18:54,313
I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE GOING TO SAY.
441
00:18:54,442 --> 00:18:56,092
I'M COMPLETELY
WHAT YOU EXPECTED--
442
00:18:56,225 --> 00:18:58,795
A HOLLYWOOD SOFTIE.
443
00:18:58,923 --> 00:19:01,313
MAJOR, I KNOW
YOU DON'T APPROVE OF ME.
444
00:19:01,445 --> 00:19:04,535
DAVID,
I'VE ALWAYS APPROVED OF YOU.
445
00:19:04,664 --> 00:19:07,014
NO, I'M PRETTY SURE
YOU HAVEN'T.
446
00:19:09,317 --> 00:19:13,107
DAVID, I LET YOU MARRY
MY LITTLE GIRL.
447
00:19:13,231 --> 00:19:15,271
NOW, THAT'S
THE HIGHEST COMPLIMENT
448
00:19:15,407 --> 00:19:16,537
I COULD'VE GIVEN TO ANYONE.
449
00:19:16,668 --> 00:19:19,888
YEAH.
THANK YOU.
450
00:19:20,017 --> 00:19:22,057
BUT...
451
00:19:22,191 --> 00:19:26,201
WELL, I LIKED IT
WHEN YOU CALLED ME "SON," DAD.
452
00:19:27,759 --> 00:19:29,099
WELL, WHAT DO WE DO--
453
00:19:29,237 --> 00:19:32,247
HUG NOW AND BREAK OUT
SOME QUICHE LORRAINE?
454
00:19:37,501 --> 00:19:39,591
OKAY, I-I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'RE SERIOUS OR NOT,
455
00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:42,069
SO I'M--I'M GONNA GO
IN THE KITCHEN
456
00:19:42,198 --> 00:19:44,248
AND HEAT THEM UP.
457
00:19:47,243 --> 00:19:50,163
IF YOU COME IN,
YOU COME IN.
458
00:19:50,288 --> 00:19:53,288
NO--NO JUDGMENTS.
459
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,900
[sighs, chuckles]
460
00:20:04,728 --> 00:20:05,638
IT WAS GREAT
HAVING YOU, DAD.
461
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:08,382
- WEARING OUT THE "DAD" THING.
- OKAY.
462
00:20:08,512 --> 00:20:11,072
SORRY.
[coughs] DAD.
463
00:20:11,208 --> 00:20:12,688
I'LL SEE YOU SOON, SWEETHEART.
464
00:20:12,817 --> 00:20:14,647
OH, HAVE
A SAFE TRIP HOME, DADDY.
465
00:20:14,775 --> 00:20:15,645
- YEAH.
- I LOVE YOU.
466
00:20:15,775 --> 00:20:17,345
LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART.
467
00:20:17,471 --> 00:20:20,951
AND DON'T LET ANYONE MISTREAT
LITTLE SALLY DESARIO.
468
00:20:21,081 --> 00:20:24,091
SHE'S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER
IN THAT "FORT PATINA FALLS."
469
00:20:24,213 --> 00:20:27,473
AND YOU TELL THAT SANTIAGO
YOU'RE A MARRIED WOMAN.
470
00:20:32,521 --> 00:20:34,911
HE'S BEEN WATCHING MY SHOW
ALL ALONG!
471
00:20:35,043 --> 00:20:36,483
[both laugh]
472
00:20:36,609 --> 00:20:37,869
I'LL MISS YOU, DAD.
473
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,610
PLEASE STOP.
474
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:45,210
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