Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:09,876
[laughing]
- THAT'S THE FUNNIEST PART.
2
00:00:10,041 --> 00:00:11,011
I'M TOTALLY
LOL-ING RIGHT NOW.
3
00:00:11,174 --> 00:00:12,774
HILARE, RIGHT?
4
00:00:12,938 --> 00:00:15,908
- SO HILARE.
- WHAT'S SO HILARE?
5
00:00:16,071 --> 00:00:18,141
IT'S ONE THOSE SUPER-CATCHY
VIRAL VIDEOS.
6
00:00:18,302 --> 00:00:20,502
BUT YOU WOULDN'T
GET IT, DAD, BECAUSE--
7
00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:22,537
all:
"YOU DON'T GOT THE BREAD."
8
00:00:22,698 --> 00:00:23,938
[laughter]
- YEAH, DAD,
9
00:00:24,098 --> 00:00:25,828
YOU DON'T GOT THE BREAD.
10
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,328
all:
OH, NO, YOU DURDN'T!
11
00:00:30,493 --> 00:00:32,293
[laughter]
- YEAH, YEAH.
12
00:00:32,459 --> 00:00:34,159
YOU THINK THAT I DON'T GET IT,
BUT I GET IT.
13
00:00:34,323 --> 00:00:36,093
I GET IT 'CAUSE
YOU DON'T GOT THE BREAD.
14
00:00:36,256 --> 00:00:38,466
WELL I GOT THE BREAD
'CAUSE I WENT SHOPPING.
15
00:00:38,620 --> 00:00:40,890
LOOK AT THIS.
PRINCIPLE TEMPLEMAN SENT
16
00:00:41,053 --> 00:00:43,523
A LETTER TO ALL THE PARENTS
IN JANIE'S CLASS.
17
00:00:43,683 --> 00:00:45,253
APPARENTLY THERE'S BEEN
SOME DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR,
18
00:00:45,415 --> 00:00:46,585
BUT IT DOESN'T SAY WHO IT IS.
19
00:00:46,748 --> 00:00:48,618
I KNOW WHO IT IS.
20
00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:50,010
IT'S JANIE'S LITTLE
KNOW-IT-ALL FRIEND, CHARLOTTE.
21
00:00:50,179 --> 00:00:51,919
ALWAYS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.
22
00:00:52,078 --> 00:00:53,248
[imitating]
"DON'T PARK THERE MR. HOBBS.
23
00:00:53,410 --> 00:00:55,310
THAT'S A HANDICAPPED SPOT."
24
00:00:55,475 --> 00:00:57,645
WELL, WHOEVER IT IS,
TEMPLEMAN WANTS ALL THE PARENTS
25
00:00:57,806 --> 00:01:00,306
TO TALK TO THEIR KIDS
ABOUT PROPER CLASSROOM CONDUCT.
26
00:01:00,472 --> 00:01:02,242
WELL, I THINK WE'RE OKAY THERE, HONEY.
27
00:01:02,403 --> 00:01:04,573
'CAUSE WE'VE TAUGHT OUR KIDS
PROPER CONDUCT.
28
00:01:04,735 --> 00:01:08,905
DIE, FITZY, YOU SHOE SCUM!
YEAH, YEAH. HU-WAH!
29
00:01:09,066 --> 00:01:10,836
WHOA. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
30
00:01:11,031 --> 00:01:12,631
OH, I JUST
CLOTHESLINED FITZY.
31
00:01:12,795 --> 00:01:14,395
AND I'M ABOUT
TO SHATTER HIS GLASSES
32
00:01:14,561 --> 00:01:16,021
WITH A FLYING
EYE-SOCKET ROCKET.
33
00:01:16,128 --> 00:01:17,298
WOW.
34
00:01:17,459 --> 00:01:19,259
NOT A GOOD DAY TO BE FITZY.
35
00:01:19,425 --> 00:01:21,555
IT'S NEVER A GOOD DAY
TO BE FITZY, MR. HOBBS.
36
00:01:21,723 --> 00:01:24,023
WELL, LISTEN, I KNOW YOU GUYS
ARE INTO THIS WRESTLING THING,
37
00:01:24,122 --> 00:01:26,122
BUT YOU CAN GET
SERIOUSLY HURT.
38
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:29,556
NOW YOU DON'T CLOTHESLINE
A FRIEND LIKE THAT, OKAY?
39
00:01:29,717 --> 00:01:31,547
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW
TO DO IT PROPERLY.
40
00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:33,516
I BET YOU'RE ALL WONDERING
41
00:01:33,681 --> 00:01:35,011
HOW I KNOW SO MUCH
ABOUT WRESTLING.
42
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:39,020
HE WANTS ONE OF YOU TO ASK.
43
00:01:39,177 --> 00:01:40,277
HOW DO YOU KNOW,
MR. HOBBS?
44
00:01:40,443 --> 00:01:42,343
GLAD YOU ASKED, FITZY.
45
00:01:42,508 --> 00:01:43,438
BECAUSE MANY YEARS AGO,
I DID A LITTLE MOVIE CALLED
46
00:01:43,608 --> 00:01:46,448
{\an8}THE MANE-IAC.
47
00:01:46,605 --> 00:01:48,915
IT'S THE STORY OF
AN ORPHANED WRESTLER
48
00:01:49,070 --> 00:01:51,610
WHOSE PARENTS DIED WHEN THEIR
HAIR SALON BURNED DOWN.
49
00:01:51,768 --> 00:01:55,038
TO HONOR THEIR MEMORY,
NEVER DID HE CUT HIS HAIR.
50
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,410
HENCE, "THE MANE-IAC".
51
00:01:58,563 --> 00:02:00,333
HOLD THAT, KEVIN.
NOW LISTEN.
52
00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:01,496
OKAY, LET ME SHOW YOU
THE CLOTHESLINE.
53
00:02:01,661 --> 00:02:03,491
FITZY, COME HERE.
54
00:02:03,659 --> 00:02:04,829
HERE'S HOW A REAL PROFESSIONAL
DOES THIS, RIGHT.
55
00:02:04,993 --> 00:02:05,993
YOU TAKE YOUR FOREARM, JOE,
56
00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:07,995
AND YOU PLANT IT
57
00:02:08,091 --> 00:02:09,691
RIGHT INTO FITZY'S WINDPIPE,
LIKE THAT, OKAY.
58
00:02:09,855 --> 00:02:11,665
UH, HEY, DAVID.
59
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,490
YEAH, WHAT?
I'M JUST SHOWING THESE BOYS
60
00:02:13,652 --> 00:02:14,782
HOW A PROFESSIONALLY
TRAINED WRESTLER
61
00:02:14,986 --> 00:02:16,026
WOULD THROW A CLOTHESLINE.
62
00:02:16,185 --> 00:02:17,995
ON POOR LITTLE FITZY?
63
00:02:18,084 --> 00:02:19,844
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
CARLOS, COME HERE.
64
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,155
MOVE OVER.
65
00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:47,767
GUYS, THIS IS BULK,
MY FRIEND.
66
00:02:47,962 --> 00:02:49,422
THE GUY WHO TRAINED ME
TO BE THE MANE-IAC.
67
00:02:49,594 --> 00:02:51,864
WOW, I LOVE WATCHING YOU
ON TV, MR. BULK.
68
00:02:52,025 --> 00:02:53,355
CAN YOU STILL MAKE
YOUR PECS DANCE?
69
00:02:53,524 --> 00:02:55,524
WOULD YOU LIKE THEM
TO TANGO?
70
00:02:55,689 --> 00:02:58,489
OR CHA-CHA?
71
00:02:58,654 --> 00:03:00,684
NOW, LISTEN UP.
BULK HERE IS GOING TO SHOW YOU
72
00:03:00,852 --> 00:03:04,222
THAT THESE WRESTLING MOVES
ARE JUST FOR US PROFESSIONALS.
73
00:03:04,383 --> 00:03:05,283
OKAY, YOU READY?
74
00:03:05,449 --> 00:03:07,059
YEAH, LET'S DO THIS.
75
00:03:07,214 --> 00:03:09,154
ALL RIGHT, HERE.
CHECK THIS OUT GUYS. HERE WE GO.
76
00:03:09,313 --> 00:03:11,753
WHOA.
77
00:03:11,945 --> 00:03:13,475
WHOA, DAD!
THAT WAS AWESOME.
78
00:03:13,643 --> 00:03:14,943
YOU THINK THAT WAS AWESOME,
WATCH THIS, JOE.
79
00:03:15,076 --> 00:03:20,776
[grunts]
80
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,810
WOW, MR. HOBBS, YOU'RE
BARELY BREAKING A SWEAT.
81
00:03:24,969 --> 00:03:26,699
YEAH, TRAINED MYSELF NOT
TO SWEAT, FITZY.
82
00:03:26,935 --> 00:03:28,035
IT AFFECTS THE HAIRLINE.
83
00:03:28,199 --> 00:03:29,439
[grunts]
84
00:03:29,598 --> 00:03:31,068
- DAD, LOOK OUT.
- [grunts]
85
00:03:31,231 --> 00:03:32,931
OH!
86
00:03:33,096 --> 00:03:35,996
GRR!
87
00:03:36,161 --> 00:03:37,231
RARGH!
88
00:03:40,925 --> 00:03:42,595
[applause]
89
00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:46,765
[phone rings]
- [grunting]
90
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,720
HELLO?
91
00:03:48,919 --> 00:03:50,049
HEY, POOKIE BEAR.
92
00:03:53,780 --> 00:03:56,650
SORRY, DAVID.
GOTTA GO PICK UP THE WIFE.
93
00:03:56,812 --> 00:03:59,222
NO, NO. YOU HANG UP FIRST.
94
00:03:59,377 --> 00:04:00,547
ALL RIGHT, THANKS, BULK.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
95
00:04:00,710 --> 00:04:02,040
SEE, GUYS, THAT'S ONLY THAT
96
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:03,739
BECAUSE I'M
A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL
97
00:04:03,908 --> 00:04:06,578
THAT I CAN KICK BUTT
AND DO THIS.
98
00:04:06,738 --> 00:04:10,238
OH, LET ME GET 'EM STARTED
FOR YOU, DAVID. ALL RIGHT.
99
00:04:12,701 --> 00:04:14,741
YOU HEAR THAT, FELLAS?
100
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,970
AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DOOFUS
OVER HERE
101
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:19,431
THINK'S HE'S A REAL WRESTLER.
102
00:04:19,596 --> 00:04:22,166
GUYS, IT'S DR. MAYHEM.
103
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,768
all: BOO!
104
00:04:24,926 --> 00:04:27,226
- YOU LITTLE!
- AAH!
105
00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:30,590
I WAS JUST SHOWING THESE
YOUNG BOYS HERE
106
00:04:30,754 --> 00:04:32,364
A COUPLE OF MOVES I LEARNED
107
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,090
ON A WRESTLING MOVIE I DID
CALLED {\an8}THE MANE-IAC.
108
00:04:35,251 --> 00:04:38,521
YEAH, MY MOTHER
MADE ME WATCH IT.
109
00:04:38,683 --> 00:04:42,353
I THOUGHT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN
CALLED "THE LAME-IAC."
110
00:04:42,513 --> 00:04:43,753
[laughter]
111
00:04:43,913 --> 00:04:46,073
I WASN'T TRYING
TO BE FUNNY.
112
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,014
OH, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE
TRYING TO DO HERE.
113
00:04:48,176 --> 00:04:49,476
YOU'RE TRYING TO PUT ON A SHOW
FOR THE KIDS.
114
00:04:49,641 --> 00:04:51,151
EXCELLENT.
115
00:04:51,307 --> 00:04:53,507
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GO TO COLLEGE,
DR. MAYHEM?
116
00:04:53,672 --> 00:04:55,042
UC JERKELEY?
117
00:04:55,204 --> 00:04:57,234
[laughter]
118
00:04:57,402 --> 00:05:00,902
[laughing] CUTE!
YEAH.
119
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:04,407
SO YOU THINK DOING ONE
STRAIGHT-TO-VIDEO MOVIE
120
00:05:04,564 --> 00:05:06,004
MAKES YOU AN EXPERT?
121
00:05:06,163 --> 00:05:07,733
SOMEONE LIKE YOU...
122
00:05:07,895 --> 00:05:10,565
COULD BEAT SOMEONE LIKE ME?
123
00:05:10,726 --> 00:05:12,566
WELL, I'LL THROW DOWN
WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
124
00:05:12,724 --> 00:05:14,924
I GOT A BETTER IDEA, HOLLYWOOD.
125
00:05:15,090 --> 00:05:19,190
WHAT DO YOU SAY ME AND YOU,
ONE ON ONE, IN THE RING
126
00:05:19,354 --> 00:05:20,854
ON SATURDAY NIGHT?
127
00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:25,353
YOU KNOW, GIVE THE PEOPLE
A REAL SHOW.
128
00:05:25,515 --> 00:05:27,155
I DO LOVE AN AUDIENCE.
OKAY, YOU'RE ON.
129
00:05:27,314 --> 00:05:29,314
- YEAH. HA-HA. WHAT?
- YEAH. WHAT?
130
00:05:29,479 --> 00:05:31,949
YEAH, WHAT?
[boys scream]
131
00:05:35,342 --> 00:05:36,482
OH!
[yells]
132
00:05:40,105 --> 00:05:41,845
THANKS FOR COMING DOWN,
MRS. HOBBS.
133
00:05:42,004 --> 00:05:43,104
I THOUGHT MY LETTER
WOULD HAVE CORRECTED
134
00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:44,910
THE DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR.
135
00:05:45,069 --> 00:05:46,599
UNFORTUNATELY,
IT'S STILL HAPPENING.
136
00:05:46,835 --> 00:05:48,035
OH, I SEE.
137
00:05:48,199 --> 00:05:49,839
IT'S CHARLOTTE.
138
00:05:49,998 --> 00:05:51,568
YOU KNOW I'M FRIENDS
WITH HER MOM,
139
00:05:51,730 --> 00:05:52,900
SO YOU WANT ME
TO SAY SOMETHING.
140
00:05:53,063 --> 00:05:54,103
IT'S NOT CHARLOTTE.
141
00:05:54,262 --> 00:05:56,362
JOSHUA.
142
00:05:56,527 --> 00:05:58,337
RUMOR HAS IT HIS MOM ENJOYS
143
00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,932
THE OCCASIONAL MORNING
GRAPE JUICE,
144
00:06:00,091 --> 00:06:01,731
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
145
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:03,320
IT'S JANIE.
146
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,258
JANIE WHO?
147
00:06:08,819 --> 00:06:13,219
[laughter]
148
00:06:13,381 --> 00:06:15,651
OH, NO, I DURDN'T.
149
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,842
OH, NO, SHE DURDN'T.
150
00:06:20,011 --> 00:06:22,441
OH, INDEED SHE DURD.
151
00:06:24,673 --> 00:06:26,673
KEVIN, I AM AN ARTIST.
152
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:30,469
IF I'M NOT 100% PREPARED,
I WILL NOT GET INTO THE RING.
153
00:06:30,636 --> 00:06:33,306
I'M TEASING AS FAST AS I CAN, DAVID.
154
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:36,667
DAD, YOU FIGHTING MAYHEM
THIS SATURDAY
155
00:06:36,832 --> 00:06:38,202
BLEW UP AT SCHOOL TODAY.
156
00:06:38,363 --> 00:06:40,103
OH.
157
00:06:40,262 --> 00:06:41,472
EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT
AT LUNCH.
158
00:06:41,628 --> 00:06:43,568
EVEN DYLAN AT THE COOL TABLE.
159
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,334
YOU SAT AT THE COOL TABLE?
160
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:49,002
NO. WE SIT
WITH THE SCIENCE CLUB.
161
00:06:49,156 --> 00:06:51,066
BUT WE ARE SUPER GOOD
AT READING LIPS.
162
00:06:51,221 --> 00:06:53,291
AH, YEAH.
163
00:06:53,453 --> 00:06:55,483
OH, AND CAN I HAVE
FITZY AND CARLOS OVER
164
00:06:55,651 --> 00:06:57,251
TO WATCH THE PRESS CONFERENCE
TONIGHT?
165
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,087
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
YEAH, YEAH.
166
00:06:59,249 --> 00:07:01,189
OH, AND ASK DYLAN
TO COME OVER TOO.
167
00:07:01,347 --> 00:07:02,247
YOU GUYS COULD USE A COOL
FR--UH, ANOTHER FRIEND.
168
00:07:02,413 --> 00:07:04,353
THANKS, DAD.
169
00:07:04,512 --> 00:07:06,242
AND MAKE SURE YOU GET
ALL UP IN DR. MAYHEM'S GRILL.
170
00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:08,110
YEAH. YEAH.
GET ALL UP IN HIS GRILL.
171
00:07:08,276 --> 00:07:10,206
I GOT YOU COVERED,
I GOT YOU COVERED.
172
00:07:10,375 --> 00:07:11,175
MAN, I'VE WRITTEN ALL
THE TRASH TALK YOU WILL NEED.
173
00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:13,000
COOL.
174
00:07:13,173 --> 00:07:15,013
YEAH, EVEN SOME
"YOUR MAMA" JOKES.
175
00:07:15,171 --> 00:07:16,841
OH, REALLY? NICE.
LIKE "YOUR MAMA'S SO BIG,
176
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,673
WHEN SHE WALKS INTO
A GROCERY STORE,
177
00:07:18,835 --> 00:07:20,775
ALL THE FOOD GETS SCARED."
ALL RIGHT?
178
00:07:20,868 --> 00:07:22,798
AND THEN YOU IMITATE
THE FOOD BEING SCARED, LIKE
179
00:07:22,966 --> 00:07:25,336
[grunts]
180
00:07:25,497 --> 00:07:27,567
MARCUS, YOU GOTTA LEAVE
THE ACTING TO ME, OKAY.
181
00:07:27,763 --> 00:07:29,463
CAN I SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE?
- WHAT YOU GOT? WHAT YOU GOT?
182
00:07:29,627 --> 00:07:33,497
OKAY. I GIVE YOU...
FRIGHTENED RADISH.
183
00:07:33,658 --> 00:07:34,098
READY?
- GO AHEAD.
184
00:07:37,756 --> 00:07:39,316
ALL RIGHT, SIMPLE.
185
00:07:39,487 --> 00:07:41,287
OKAY, I GOT
TO WRITE THAT DOWN.
186
00:07:41,452 --> 00:07:42,552
WELL, I MET WITH
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN TODAY.
187
00:07:42,752 --> 00:07:44,392
I WAS RIGHT, WASN'T I?
188
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:45,490
IT WAS THAT LITTLE
STINKER CHARLOTTE.
189
00:07:45,649 --> 00:07:47,119
IT WAS JANIE.
190
00:07:47,281 --> 00:07:49,181
- JANIE WHO?
- OUR JANIE!
191
00:07:49,347 --> 00:07:51,317
SHE WAS DANCE BOMBING
THE TEACHER LIKE THIS.
192
00:07:51,478 --> 00:07:53,748
- WHAT?
- YEAH.
193
00:07:53,910 --> 00:07:55,640
DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
OUR JANIE.
194
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:56,909
I BET YOU SHE PICKED IT UP
FROM CHARLOTTE.
195
00:08:05,069 --> 00:08:09,039
all: OH NO WE DURDN'T.
[laughter]
196
00:08:09,199 --> 00:08:11,769
WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT.
JANIE GOT IT FROM ANOTHER KID.
197
00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:13,601
OUR KID.
198
00:08:13,763 --> 00:08:16,293
UNLESS...EMILY GOT IT
FROM CHARLOTTE.
199
00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:20,729
WELCOME, WRESTLING FANS.
200
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,621
THIS SATURDAY NIGHT,
OUR IMPACT MAIN EVENT
201
00:08:22,789 --> 00:08:24,819
WILL FEATURE
A HIGH VOLTAGE SURPRISE.
202
00:08:24,988 --> 00:08:27,328
WRESTLING'S REIGNING BAD BOY,
DR. MAYHEM,
203
00:08:27,485 --> 00:08:31,795
VERSUS TV'S DAVID HOBBS,
A.K.A THE MANE-IAC.
204
00:08:31,950 --> 00:08:34,190
JOE, YOUR DAD
WRESTLING DR. MAYHEM
205
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,578
COULD BE THE COOLEST THING
IN THE HISTORY OF COOL THINGS.
206
00:08:36,747 --> 00:08:38,277
THAT'S JUST HOW WE ROLL,
D-MAN.
207
00:08:38,445 --> 00:08:40,985
THAT'S RIGHT.
[boys giggle]
208
00:08:41,143 --> 00:08:44,183
DR. MAYHEM, ANYTHING YOU WANT
TO SAY TO THE CHALLENGER?
209
00:08:44,340 --> 00:08:46,240
I THINK IT'S BEST
IF I WRITE IT DOWN.
210
00:08:46,406 --> 00:08:50,076
OOH, HE CAN WRITE.
211
00:08:50,236 --> 00:08:53,076
WHAT'S THIS?
212
00:08:53,234 --> 00:08:55,144
IT'S A POWERFUL PRESCRIPTION
213
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:55,970
FOR PAIN!
214
00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,899
HEY, MARCUS, WHY DID DAVID
AGREE TO DO THIS?
215
00:09:07,058 --> 00:09:08,228
HE'S TRYING
TO IMPRESS HIS KID.
216
00:09:08,390 --> 00:09:10,220
BY GETTING HIMSELF KILLED?
217
00:09:10,389 --> 00:09:13,689
MAN DOESN'T DOESN'T JUST
ACT CRAZY, HE IS CRAZY.
218
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:17,293
MANE-IAC, DO YOU REALLY
THINK YOU CAN BEAT DR. MAYHEM?
219
00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:19,290
LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY, DEREK,
220
00:09:19,448 --> 00:09:21,218
WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH HIM,
THE GOOD DOCTOR'S
221
00:09:21,381 --> 00:09:23,081
GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE HIMSELF
A FACE CAST.
222
00:09:23,246 --> 00:09:26,916
AND BROTHER,
THAT'D BE AN IMPROVEMENT.
223
00:09:27,077 --> 00:09:29,037
YOU CALLING ME UGLY NOW?
224
00:09:29,209 --> 00:09:30,779
LET'S JUST SAY
AN APPLE A DAY
225
00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:33,271
WILL KEEP YOUR UGLY MUG AWAY.
226
00:09:33,438 --> 00:09:35,438
all: BURN!
227
00:09:38,335 --> 00:09:40,135
KEEP RUNNING YOUR MOUTH, HOLLYWOOD.
228
00:09:40,301 --> 00:09:42,471
AND I'M GOING TO PUT YOU
ON PERMANENT BED REST.
229
00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:45,007
I'M TALKING
VEGETATIVE STATE!
230
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,660
SO WHEN YOU SAID MAYHEM
WAS CRAZY,
231
00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:55,351
YOU MEAN LIKE
HE MIGHT NOT LIKE
232
00:09:55,522 --> 00:09:57,162
A GOOD-NATURED
"YOUR MAMA" JOKE?
233
00:09:57,321 --> 00:09:58,991
OH, NO, DO NOT
MENTION HIS MAMA.
234
00:09:59,154 --> 00:10:00,684
MAYHEM WILL RIP OFF HIS--
235
00:10:00,853 --> 00:10:02,183
[phone rings]
236
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,352
HELLO?
237
00:10:03,517 --> 00:10:05,687
HEY, POOKIE BEAR.
238
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:07,890
HOLD THIS.
239
00:10:08,048 --> 00:10:10,648
COME THIS SATURDAY NIGHT,
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
240
00:10:10,812 --> 00:10:13,512
THE MOTHER
OF ALL BEATDOWNS.
241
00:10:13,677 --> 00:10:14,707
WELL,
SPEAKING OF MOTHERS...
242
00:10:14,876 --> 00:10:16,846
AH, PLEASE DON'T.
243
00:10:17,008 --> 00:10:19,248
YOUR MAMA'S SO BIG AND DUMB,
SHE ONLY OPENED HER E-MAIL
244
00:10:19,406 --> 00:10:20,976
BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT
IT CONTAINED SPAM.
245
00:10:21,139 --> 00:10:22,669
[laughs]
246
00:10:22,838 --> 00:10:24,578
TALKING ABOUT MY MOTHER NOW?
247
00:10:24,736 --> 00:10:26,706
YEAH, YOUR MAMA WOULD TRY
TO GET HERE.
248
00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:27,668
BUT SHE'S SO BIG, I COULDN'T
GET HER THROUGH THE DOOR.
249
00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:32,265
[loud crash]
250
00:10:38,692 --> 00:10:40,432
FRIGHTENED RADISH FACE.
251
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,030
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT--THAT
MAYHEM WAS ACTUALLY TRYING
252
00:10:48,185 --> 00:10:50,185
TO TEAR MY HEAD OFF
WITH THAT CHAIR.
253
00:10:50,351 --> 00:10:52,021
IT WASN'T SO MUCH HE WAS
TRYING TO TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF,
254
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:54,282
IT WAS MORE LIKE HE WAS,
AND I QUOTE,
255
00:10:54,447 --> 00:10:57,017
"TRYING TO PUT YOU
IN A VEGETATIVE STATE!"
256
00:10:57,179 --> 00:10:59,149
ARE YOU OKAY?
257
00:10:59,311 --> 00:11:01,241
I WAS JUST WATCHING THE PRESS
CONFERENCE WITH THE BOYS
258
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,010
AND THE PART WITH THE CHAIR
LOOKED KIND OF REAL.
259
00:11:03,175 --> 00:11:06,715
- 'CAUSE IT WAS REAL.
- REALLY?
260
00:11:06,872 --> 00:11:09,272
DAD, YOU HAVE
TO COME CHECK THIS OUT.
261
00:11:09,437 --> 00:11:11,607
WE TAPED THE PRESS CONFERENCE
IN SLO-MO.
262
00:11:11,736 --> 00:11:13,606
THE CHAIR MISSES YOUR HEAD
BY THIS MUCH.
263
00:11:13,767 --> 00:11:15,697
IT WAS SO AWESOME.
264
00:11:15,866 --> 00:11:17,436
DAVID, I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THIS WAS ALL FOR SHOW.
265
00:11:17,599 --> 00:11:19,359
YOU'VE GOT TO
GET OUT OF THIS.
266
00:11:19,597 --> 00:11:20,597
WHAT? NO, I DON'T.
SEE HOW EXCITED JOE IS?
267
00:11:20,762 --> 00:11:22,622
I CAN'T LET HIM DOWN.
268
00:11:22,795 --> 00:11:24,435
YEAH, BUT I'M SURE HE'D
RATHER SEE HIS FATHER
269
00:11:24,594 --> 00:11:26,604
WHO WASN'T
"IN A VEGETATIVE STATE!"
270
00:11:29,323 --> 00:11:31,223
[sighs]
ALL RIGHT.
271
00:11:31,388 --> 00:11:32,688
I GUESS I'LL TELL HIM
I'M BACKING OUT.
272
00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:37,726
HEY, JOE, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
273
00:11:37,884 --> 00:11:41,254
WOW, MR. HOBBS, NOW I KNOW
WHERE JOE GETS HIS COOL FROM.
274
00:11:41,414 --> 00:11:42,854
DYLAN.
275
00:11:43,013 --> 00:11:44,753
- YEAH.
- THIS IS DYLAN.
276
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:46,612
HEY, HONEY, JOE'S NEW FRIEND
DYLAN IS HERE.
277
00:11:46,778 --> 00:11:48,408
WOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE
SOMEONE'S GOING TO
278
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:50,377
FINALLY KICK MAYHEM'S BUTT.
- YEAH.
279
00:11:50,575 --> 00:11:52,845
THAT'S RIGHT, GUYS.
IT'S GONNA BE MY DAD.
280
00:11:53,006 --> 00:11:57,346
all: MANE-IAC!
MANE-IAC! MANE-IAC!
281
00:11:57,570 --> 00:11:59,100
SO, WHAT'D YOU WANT
TO TELL ME, DAD?
282
00:11:59,268 --> 00:12:01,098
- WELL, YEAH--
- I BET HE WANTS YOU
283
00:12:01,267 --> 00:12:02,897
TO BE HIS CORNER MAN.
THAT WOULD BE EPIC.
284
00:12:03,066 --> 00:12:05,766
all: MANE-IAC! MANE-IAC!
MANE-IAC!
285
00:12:05,930 --> 00:12:07,630
OH, OKAY, YEAH, NO, ALL RIGHT,
OKAY, YEAH, YEAH, I GOT IT.
286
00:12:07,796 --> 00:12:09,566
LISTEN, GUY--
287
00:12:09,727 --> 00:12:13,367
WELL, THE TRUTH IS THIS.
I--
288
00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:15,159
JOE, YOU'RE OFFICIALLY
MY CORNER MAN.
289
00:12:15,323 --> 00:12:17,823
[boys cheers]
YEAH, COME ON!
290
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:21,658
all: MANE-IAC! MANE-IAC!
- OH, NO, HE DURDN'T.
291
00:12:26,849 --> 00:12:28,609
OH, PAUSE IT RIGHT THERE.
PAUSE IT.
292
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:30,651
OKAY, THAT'S THE MOVE
THAT BULK TAUGHT ME.
293
00:12:30,812 --> 00:12:33,072
THE ULTIMATE SLEEPER HOLD
CALLED THE DREAM WEAVE.
294
00:12:35,743 --> 00:12:39,013
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO
LEARN WRESTLING FROM YOUR MOVIE.
295
00:12:39,173 --> 00:12:41,943
IT'S MY ONLY SHOT, MARCUS.
I MEAN WITH THAT HOLD,
296
00:12:42,104 --> 00:12:43,904
I WAS ABLE TO REGAIN
MY CHAMPIONSHIP BELT
297
00:12:44,070 --> 00:12:45,800
AND REBUILD MY PARENT'S SALON.
298
00:12:48,266 --> 00:12:49,966
HERE, PRACTICE ON ME.
299
00:12:50,132 --> 00:12:52,102
- OH, ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
- YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
300
00:12:52,264 --> 00:12:53,874
OKAY.
301
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,330
ALL RIGHT, THERE'S
THE WEAVE PART.
302
00:12:55,529 --> 00:12:56,399
- YEAH.
- OKAY.
303
00:12:56,561 --> 00:12:58,191
OKAY, YEP.
304
00:12:58,359 --> 00:13:02,059
- NOW HERE COMES THE DREAM.
- OKAY.
305
00:13:02,223 --> 00:13:05,593
SHH. SHH.
306
00:13:05,754 --> 00:13:07,184
IT'S WORK--KEVIN?
307
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,223
ARE YOU ASLEEP?
KEVIN?
308
00:13:09,384 --> 00:13:11,624
NO, I JUST WANT
TO DISAPPOINT YOU.
309
00:13:11,783 --> 00:13:12,813
COME ON!
DON'T DO THAT.
310
00:13:12,982 --> 00:13:14,812
JUST, YOU KNOW, I--
311
00:13:14,981 --> 00:13:16,351
NO, NO, NO.
SHE'S BEEN IMITATING ME.
312
00:13:16,514 --> 00:13:18,414
LET ME TALK TO HER.
313
00:13:18,578 --> 00:13:20,118
YOU HAVE ENOUGH ON YOUR PLATE
WITH YOUR OTHER CHILD.
314
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:21,547
OH, HONEY, JOE'S FINE.
315
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:23,510
I MEANT DAD.
316
00:13:23,609 --> 00:13:26,979
[chuckles]
317
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,339
JANIE.
318
00:13:29,505 --> 00:13:32,105
MOM TOLD ME YOU'VE BEEN DOING
MY DANCE BOMB THING AT SCHOOL.
319
00:13:32,268 --> 00:13:33,498
I KNOW YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY,
320
00:13:33,635 --> 00:13:35,335
BUT YOU CAN'T DO IT ANY MORE.
321
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:38,070
WHY? EVERYONE LIKES IT
WHEN I DO IT.
322
00:13:38,231 --> 00:13:39,261
AND YOU DO IT.
323
00:13:39,498 --> 00:13:41,228
WELL, BUT I'M OLDER.
324
00:13:41,395 --> 00:13:42,965
YOU CAN'T JUST ALWAYS DO
WHAT YOU SEE ME DO.
325
00:13:43,127 --> 00:13:44,897
LIKE WHEN YOU
MAKE KISSY FACES
326
00:13:45,059 --> 00:13:47,499
AND TAKE PICTURES OF YOURSELF
ON YOUR PHONE?
327
00:13:50,722 --> 00:13:53,062
I ONLY DO IT
BECAUSE YOU'RE COOL.
328
00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:56,260
AND I WANT TO BE
JUST LIKE YOU.
329
00:13:56,485 --> 00:14:00,615
AWW.
YOU WANT TO BE JUST LIKE ME?
330
00:14:00,782 --> 00:14:01,952
SISTER SELFIE?
331
00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,947
WHAT? SHE THINKS I'M COOL.
I LOST FOCUS AFTER THAT.
332
00:14:11,107 --> 00:14:12,847
[chuckles]
333
00:14:13,006 --> 00:14:16,786
YOU ARE SO YOUR FATHER'S
DAUGHTER, EMILY.
334
00:14:16,936 --> 00:14:18,936
JANIE, WHAT YOUR SISTER
WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU
335
00:14:19,102 --> 00:14:22,472
IS YOU NEED TO STOP IMITATING
HER AND DISRUPTING CLASS.
336
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:26,607
BUT I'M GETTING LAUGHS, MOM.
BIG LAUGHS.
337
00:14:26,764 --> 00:14:28,464
YOU'RE NOT IN SCHOOL
TO GET BIG LAUGHS.
338
00:14:28,628 --> 00:14:29,968
YOU'RE THERE TO LEARN.
SO, KNOCK IT OFF.
339
00:14:30,127 --> 00:14:31,837
WHY?
340
00:14:31,993 --> 00:14:36,263
BECAUSE I'M YOUR MOTHER,
AND I SAID SO.
341
00:14:36,457 --> 00:14:38,557
OKAY.
SORRY, MOM.
342
00:14:42,685 --> 00:14:44,595
MAYBE I SHOULD CALL
YOUR MOTHER
343
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:48,461
AND HAVE HER KNOCK SOME SENSE
INTO YOU, MANE-IAC.
344
00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:49,981
WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S IT.
345
00:14:50,147 --> 00:14:51,747
I KNOW HOW TO BEAT MAYHEM.
346
00:14:51,911 --> 00:14:53,111
SHH. YOU'RE GOING
TO WAKE KEVIN.
347
00:14:56,908 --> 00:15:00,578
I'M NOT ASLEEP
BUT I AM DREAMING.
348
00:15:00,739 --> 00:15:01,309
OKAY, COME ON. COME ON, SON.
349
00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:08,747
[audience cheering]
350
00:15:08,899 --> 00:15:11,809
GUYS, CHECK IT OUT.
351
00:15:14,829 --> 00:15:19,439
AND NOW, WRESTLING FANS,
IT'S TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT.
352
00:15:19,526 --> 00:15:21,556
INTRODUCING THE CHALLENGER,
353
00:15:21,724 --> 00:15:25,994
DAVID HOBBS AS THE MANE-IAC!
354
00:15:26,154 --> 00:15:31,654
[audience cheering]
355
00:15:31,817 --> 00:15:35,417
fans: MANE-IAC! MANE-IAC!
MANE-IAC!
356
00:15:38,178 --> 00:15:39,248
SHAKE THE MANE!
357
00:15:39,412 --> 00:15:41,312
ALL RIGHT, GET READY.
358
00:15:41,477 --> 00:15:42,737
KEVIN, SCRUNCHIE.
359
00:15:48,005 --> 00:15:51,535
[audience cheering]
360
00:15:51,703 --> 00:15:53,573
DID BULK GET HERE YET?
361
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:54,765
'CAUSE IF HE DOESN'T SHOW UP
WITH MY SECRET WEAPON,
362
00:15:54,933 --> 00:15:56,663
I'M IN BIG TROUBLE.
363
00:15:56,832 --> 00:15:59,232
I WOULD TRY MY SECRET WEAPON,
GIVING UP.
364
00:15:59,464 --> 00:16:01,074
DON'T WORRY.
BULK WILL BE HERE.
365
00:16:01,229 --> 00:16:04,499
[siren]
366
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:08,530
OH, NO. SOMEONE'S ABOUT
TO GET A BOO-BOO.
367
00:16:08,691 --> 00:16:11,721
IS THERE A DOCTOR
IN THE HOUSE?
368
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:16,158
A DOCTOR OF MAYHEM!
369
00:16:16,386 --> 00:16:18,286
[audience booing]
370
00:16:21,847 --> 00:16:23,717
GIVE HIM THE DEATH-ESCOPE!
371
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,650
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN?
372
00:16:25,812 --> 00:16:30,682
OH, HELLO, MRS. HOBBS.
UH JANIE.
373
00:16:30,841 --> 00:16:33,071
JUST BLOWING OFF A LITTLE STEAM
FOR THE WEEKEND.
374
00:16:33,239 --> 00:16:37,739
OH, AND NOTHING PERSONAL,
SHOW NO MERCY!
375
00:16:37,903 --> 00:16:41,843
[audience booing]
376
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,510
HERE'S MY PATIENT.
377
00:16:44,665 --> 00:16:48,905
OPEN UP AND SAY "OW."
378
00:16:49,062 --> 00:16:50,832
COME ON!
379
00:16:50,993 --> 00:16:53,503
DAD, I'M SO PROUD
TO BE IN YOUR CORNER.
380
00:16:53,659 --> 00:16:54,559
GO GET HIM.
[bell rings]
381
00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:57,164
[yells]
382
00:16:57,356 --> 00:17:01,726
[audience cheering,
shouting]
383
00:17:01,886 --> 00:17:03,226
RARRGGHH!
384
00:17:03,385 --> 00:17:05,515
[audience cheering]
385
00:17:05,683 --> 00:17:07,813
man: WE LOVE YOU,
MANE-IAC!
386
00:17:07,981 --> 00:17:10,521
THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT.
I APPRECIATE IT.
387
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,120
- HU-AHH!
- AAH!
388
00:17:12,346 --> 00:17:14,746
[audience booing]
389
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:17,209
[both grunting]
390
00:17:17,375 --> 00:17:19,645
WHOO!
391
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,916
HELP ME KEVIN.
HELP ME KEVIN. HELP ME KEVIN.
392
00:17:26,768 --> 00:17:29,598
all: OOH!
393
00:17:29,766 --> 00:17:33,036
I SAID, HELP ME, KEVIN.
394
00:17:33,196 --> 00:17:36,696
[audience cheering]
- [grunts]
395
00:17:36,861 --> 00:17:38,231
all: OOH!
396
00:17:38,393 --> 00:17:40,863
[audience shouting]
397
00:17:44,988 --> 00:17:46,658
DAD!
DAD, GET UP.
398
00:17:46,821 --> 00:17:48,451
HE'S GOING
TO JUMP OFF THE TOP ROPE.
399
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:52,320
I'M TRYING.
ARE MY LEGS MOVING?
400
00:17:52,417 --> 00:17:53,757
ROLL, DAVID, ROLL.
401
00:17:57,746 --> 00:17:59,746
- RARGH!
- UNH!
402
00:18:02,610 --> 00:18:04,710
[wheezing]
ARE YOU OKAY, DAVID?
403
00:18:04,874 --> 00:18:06,574
RARGH!
404
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,510
IS BULK HERE YET?
405
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,611
[Mayhem laughs]
406
00:18:10,770 --> 00:18:13,340
WELL, THEN, CAN ONE OF
YOU GUYS DO SOMETHING, PLEASE?
407
00:18:13,502 --> 00:18:15,172
OKAY,
I'LL TELL SOME JOKES.
408
00:18:15,334 --> 00:18:16,834
OKAY, PEOPLE.
TIME FOR SOME COMEDY.
409
00:18:16,999 --> 00:18:18,029
TWO WRESTLERS WALK INTO A BAR--
410
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:21,328
NO, THEY DON'T!
411
00:18:21,496 --> 00:18:22,526
OKAY, NO JOKES.
THAT'S COOL.
412
00:18:22,695 --> 00:18:26,535
[audience cheering]
413
00:18:26,692 --> 00:18:28,152
[grunts]
414
00:18:28,325 --> 00:18:31,825
[audience cheering]
415
00:18:31,988 --> 00:18:37,058
NOW WE ALL KNOW WHAT A PATIENT
NEEDS BEFORE SURGERY, RIGHT?
416
00:18:37,285 --> 00:18:39,415
TO BE SHAVED!
417
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:40,553
[audience booing]
- NO! NO!
418
00:18:40,715 --> 00:18:42,885
[shaver buzzing]
419
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:53,107
AND I AIN'T TALKING
ABOUT THIS FAKE MANE OVER HERE.
420
00:18:55,005 --> 00:18:57,275
I WANT THE REAL THING.
421
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:59,434
SHAVE HIM!
422
00:18:59,602 --> 00:19:03,172
I WANT TO SEE
THAT HEAD SHINE.
423
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:06,273
AH-HA!
424
00:19:06,397 --> 00:19:09,127
BENJAMIN ZACHARY FELDMAN,
425
00:19:09,295 --> 00:19:11,395
PUT THOSE CLIPPERS DOWN
THIS INSTANT.
426
00:19:14,325 --> 00:19:16,055
- MOM?
- BENJI...
427
00:19:16,257 --> 00:19:17,857
YOU WILL NOT TOUCH A HAIR
428
00:19:18,021 --> 00:19:20,061
ON THAT SWEET
DAVID HOBB'S HEAD.
429
00:19:20,255 --> 00:19:21,655
CLIPPERS DOWN NOW!
430
00:19:21,819 --> 00:19:25,249
BUT WHY?
HE STARTED IT.
431
00:19:25,384 --> 00:19:28,654
BECAUSE I'M YOUR MOTHER
AND I SAID SO.
432
00:19:28,814 --> 00:19:31,054
FINE.
433
00:19:31,247 --> 00:19:34,917
DAD, NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.
434
00:19:35,076 --> 00:19:38,576
WHY COULDN'T YOU BE
A REAL DOCTOR LIKE YOUR BROTHER?
435
00:19:38,741 --> 00:19:40,871
BUT I AM A REAL DOCTOR.
436
00:19:41,039 --> 00:19:42,309
A DOCTOR OF PAIN.
437
00:19:42,471 --> 00:19:43,511
OH.
438
00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:46,940
[audience cheering]
439
00:19:51,332 --> 00:19:54,302
DREAM WEAVE, DAD!
DREAM WEAVE!
440
00:19:54,463 --> 00:19:56,963
NO, NO. REVERSE CARESS!
REVERSE CARESS!
441
00:19:57,127 --> 00:20:00,597
[audience cheering]
442
00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:08,225
UNNNHHH.
443
00:20:08,386 --> 00:20:10,796
AH! YEAH!
444
00:20:10,951 --> 00:20:13,721
THE WINNER BY KNOCKOUT,
445
00:20:13,882 --> 00:20:17,282
THE MANE-IAC.
446
00:20:17,447 --> 00:20:19,717
DAD, IT TOOK A LOT OF GUTS
FIGHTING THAT GUY.
447
00:20:19,877 --> 00:20:22,117
NO, NO, SON.
THAT WAS STUPID.
448
00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:24,276
WELL, WHY'D YOU DO IT?
449
00:20:24,442 --> 00:20:27,272
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY SON.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LET YOU DOWN.
450
00:20:27,439 --> 00:20:31,039
THE LESSON HERE IS YOU GOT
TO KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS.
451
00:20:31,204 --> 00:20:34,144
SOMETIMES REAL BRAVERY
MEANS JUST WALKING AWAY.
452
00:20:34,302 --> 00:20:36,272
HE'S WAKING UP!
453
00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:38,363
RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
RUN AWAY!
454
00:20:38,413 --> 00:20:42,963
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31927
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.