All language subtitles for See Dad Run s02e15 Roast the Toast.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,282 - I CALLED IT! - I HAD FIRST! 2 00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:11,052 I'M THE HUNGRIEST! 3 00:00:11,209 --> 00:00:12,679 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 4 00:00:12,842 --> 00:00:14,572 HOLD ON, HOLD ON. LET GO. 5 00:00:14,742 --> 00:00:15,842 I THINK I SHOULD GET THE LAST STICKY BUN 6 00:00:16,009 --> 00:00:17,739 BECAUSE I AM THE OLDEST. 7 00:00:17,909 --> 00:00:18,939 YOU'VE BEEN USING THAT OUR WHOLE LIVES. 8 00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:20,180 WHEN DO WE GET TO WIN? 9 00:00:20,342 --> 00:00:22,012 WHEN I GO TO COLLEGE. 10 00:00:22,177 --> 00:00:23,077 DADDY SAYS WHEN YOU GO TO COLLEGE, 11 00:00:23,243 --> 00:00:25,273 WE ALL WIN. 12 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:26,413 NOW THAT I'VE HEARD YOU SQUABBLING 13 00:00:26,577 --> 00:00:28,117 OVER THIS THING, 14 00:00:28,277 --> 00:00:29,437 NOBODY WINS. [children groan] 15 00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:30,780 HAVE I TAUGHT YOU GUYS NOTHING 16 00:00:30,942 --> 00:00:32,782 ABOUT THE MEANING OF FAMILY? 17 00:00:32,942 --> 00:00:34,542 YOU SHOULDN'T BE FIGHTING WITH EACH OTHER. 18 00:00:34,710 --> 00:00:36,670 BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO, 19 00:00:36,843 --> 00:00:39,443 TWO OF YOU NEED TO TEAM UP TO TAKE DOWN THE THIRD ONE. 20 00:00:39,610 --> 00:00:41,410 THAT MAKES IT GO SO MUCH FASTER, 21 00:00:41,577 --> 00:00:44,647 AND I DON'T HAVE TO PICK A FAVORITE. 22 00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:46,740 [whispers] IT'S YOU, JANIE. 23 00:00:46,910 --> 00:00:48,340 [whispers] IT'S YOU. 24 00:00:48,511 --> 00:00:50,541 [mouths silently] 25 00:00:50,711 --> 00:00:52,711 DAD, WE CAN ALL SEE YOU. 26 00:00:52,877 --> 00:00:53,677 I KNOW THAT, BUT YOU'RE STILL MY FAVORITE. 27 00:00:53,844 --> 00:00:54,174 OH. 28 00:00:56,844 --> 00:00:58,444 HONEY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT. 29 00:00:58,611 --> 00:01:00,381 YOUR COUSIN, FRED, INVITED US TO-- 30 00:01:00,544 --> 00:01:02,084 - OH, WE'RE NOT GOING. - OH, I LOVE YOU. 31 00:01:02,179 --> 00:01:03,779 WHAT ARE WE NOT GOING TO? 32 00:01:03,944 --> 00:01:05,774 MM, HE AND MANDY ARE CELEBRATING 33 00:01:05,944 --> 00:01:08,984 THEIR 20TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY IN SANTA BARBARA. 34 00:01:09,145 --> 00:01:10,245 YOU KNOW WHY HE INVITES ME, DON'T YOU? 35 00:01:10,412 --> 00:01:11,582 'CAUSE I'M A CELEBRITY, 36 00:01:11,745 --> 00:01:12,845 AND HE WANTS TO TROT ME OUT 37 00:01:13,079 --> 00:01:14,379 LIKE SOME SHOW PONY. 38 00:01:14,545 --> 00:01:16,245 YOU LOVE BEING A SHOW PONY. 39 00:01:16,412 --> 00:01:17,482 I KNOW. 40 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,745 JUST NOT HIS SHOW PONY. 41 00:01:19,912 --> 00:01:20,382 [knock on door] 42 00:01:22,779 --> 00:01:23,849 - OH, DAVID. - HEY, FRED. YEAH. 43 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,980 I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 44 00:01:26,146 --> 00:01:27,146 LOOK, I TOLD A FEW FRIENDS THAT YOU'D GIVE 'EM A WAVE. 45 00:01:27,313 --> 00:01:28,243 THEY'RE BIG FANS. 46 00:01:28,413 --> 00:01:30,083 OKAY, SURE. 47 00:01:32,845 --> 00:01:33,845 - I TOLD YA! - OH! 48 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,350 HE'S MY COUSIN! 49 00:01:37,513 --> 00:01:39,213 FOR THAT HE GOT FOUR DODGER TICKETS, 50 00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:41,610 AND I GOT A SEEING EYE DOG FOR A WEEK. 51 00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:43,880 I MISS MR. PEEPERS. - YEAH. 52 00:01:44,081 --> 00:01:45,681 BETTER BLIND THAN DEAF. 53 00:01:45,846 --> 00:01:47,346 OH, I CAN STILL HEAR MANDY'S VOICE 54 00:01:47,513 --> 00:01:49,513 THE DAY THEY MOVED AWAY. 55 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,350 [shrill voice] "AMY, IF YOU CALL ME, 56 00:01:52,514 --> 00:01:53,554 I'LL LOVE IT!" 57 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:54,854 MOM, ARE YOU OKAY? 58 00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:56,221 DID YOU RUN OVER A CAT? 59 00:01:56,381 --> 00:01:59,321 WAIT, IS COUSIN MANDY HERE? 60 00:01:59,481 --> 00:02:01,651 - WHAT'S THIS? - UH... 61 00:02:01,814 --> 00:02:03,814 HEY. 62 00:02:03,981 --> 00:02:07,451 FRED AND MANDY INVITED US TO THEIR 20TH ANNIVERSARY PARTY? 63 00:02:07,614 --> 00:02:10,914 I HAVEN'T SEEN COUSIN STEPHANIE IN, LIKE, FIVE YEARS. 64 00:02:11,082 --> 00:02:12,952 YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME WE PLAN TO SEE THEM, 65 00:02:13,115 --> 00:02:14,325 WE ALWAYS END UP WINNING A CONTEST FOR SOME TRIP. 66 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,082 WEIRD. 67 00:02:16,248 --> 00:02:17,948 I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE COUSIN EVAN. 68 00:02:18,115 --> 00:02:19,085 HE'S THE ONE WHO TURNED ME ON TO MAGIC. 69 00:02:19,248 --> 00:02:20,218 THIS IS GREAT! 70 00:02:20,382 --> 00:02:21,512 WHAT'S A COUSIN? 71 00:02:21,682 --> 00:02:23,282 WE'RE GOING, RIGHT, DAD? 72 00:02:23,448 --> 00:02:25,118 - WELL-- - OF COURSE WE'RE GOING. 73 00:02:25,283 --> 00:02:26,483 IF THERE'S ONE THING DAD ALWAYS SAYS, 74 00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:27,548 IT'S THAT FAMILY COMES FIRST. 75 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:28,845 RIGHT, DAD? 76 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,943 HEY, LOOK AT THIS, AMY. 77 00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:33,886 WE JUST WON AN ALL-EXPENSE-PAID TRIP TO CABO SAN LUCAS! 78 00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:36,283 WE ARE SO LUCKY! 79 00:02:36,449 --> 00:02:38,119 WE ALL KNOW WE'RE GOING. 80 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,583 DAD WOULD NEVER LET HIS FAMILY DOWN. 81 00:02:40,749 --> 00:02:41,959 ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO PACK. 82 00:02:45,184 --> 00:02:46,754 DAD, THIS SAYS, "PLEASE RECYCLE." 83 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,616 NO, IT DOES NOT, JOE. 84 00:02:48,783 --> 00:02:51,583 NO, IT SAYS, "PLEE-AS-EY RE-CY-CLEY." 85 00:02:51,749 --> 00:02:55,649 IT'S A VERY, VERY BEAUTIFUL FIVE-STAR RESORT 86 00:02:55,816 --> 00:02:58,686 IN CABO SAN LUCAS. - [clapping] 87 00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:01,760 [upbeat music] 88 00:03:01,917 --> 00:03:09,397 ♪ 89 00:03:22,551 --> 00:03:24,821 SO WE'RE REALLY DOING THE WHOLE POSITIVE ATTITUDE? 90 00:03:24,985 --> 00:03:27,425 YES, WE ARE, HONEY. WE'RE GONNA MAKE THE BEST OF IT. 91 00:03:27,585 --> 00:03:28,985 I MEAN, FRED IS NOT GONNA CHANGE, 92 00:03:29,152 --> 00:03:30,992 SO I'M JUST GONNA RISE ABOVE IT. 93 00:03:31,152 --> 00:03:32,712 MM, YOU GO, MY PRETTY PONY. 94 00:03:32,885 --> 00:03:33,985 AND I THINK JANIE'S REALLY LOOKING FORWARD 95 00:03:34,152 --> 00:03:35,282 TO MEETING HER COUSINS. 96 00:03:35,452 --> 00:03:36,382 - WELL, GOOD. - YEAH. 97 00:03:36,552 --> 00:03:37,852 WAS THAT MY COUSIN? 98 00:03:38,086 --> 00:03:39,446 UH, NO, THAT WAS THE VALET. 99 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,219 IS THAT MY COUSIN? 100 00:03:41,386 --> 00:03:43,656 NO, THAT'S-- THAT'S THE BELLHOP. 101 00:03:43,819 --> 00:03:46,259 IS THAT MY COUSIN? 102 00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:49,189 JANIE, THAT'S JOE. 103 00:03:49,352 --> 00:03:52,092 AH! THERE'S MY FAVORITE COUSIN! 104 00:03:52,253 --> 00:03:53,953 [laughs] - HEY. 105 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,720 HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! 106 00:03:55,886 --> 00:03:56,786 BOOM! - YEAH! 107 00:03:56,952 --> 00:03:58,492 HASHTAG. 108 00:03:58,653 --> 00:04:00,493 VACATIONING WITH DAVID HOBBS. 109 00:04:00,653 --> 00:04:02,093 AND POSTED! 110 00:04:02,187 --> 00:04:03,857 GOOD TO SEE YOU, FRED. 111 00:04:04,087 --> 00:04:05,257 HI. - MM. 112 00:04:05,420 --> 00:04:07,320 OH, AMY! - YOU! 113 00:04:07,487 --> 00:04:08,687 I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! 114 00:04:08,853 --> 00:04:10,223 AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, 115 00:04:10,387 --> 00:04:13,617 YOU ARE STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! 116 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,127 RIGHT IN FRONT, 117 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,328 AND I CAN SMELL YOUR LUNCH. I CAN. 118 00:04:16,488 --> 00:04:17,858 OH, WELL, IF YOU'RE SMELLING 119 00:04:18,088 --> 00:04:19,218 CAESAR SALAD WITH EXTRA ANCHOVIES. 120 00:04:19,388 --> 00:04:20,688 CORRECT! 121 00:04:20,853 --> 00:04:23,663 - BING. BING. - [laughs] YEAH. 122 00:04:23,821 --> 00:04:24,891 YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTIER THAN EVER. 123 00:04:25,088 --> 00:04:26,288 THANK YOU, FRED. 124 00:04:26,454 --> 00:04:27,424 OH, HE'S TALKING TO ME, HON. 125 00:04:27,588 --> 00:04:28,618 AND LOOK AT THAT TUSH. 126 00:04:28,788 --> 00:04:30,518 SOMEBODY'S BEEN WORKING OUT. 127 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,418 YOGA. YOGA. YEAH. 128 00:04:32,588 --> 00:04:34,428 IT'S STILL ME. 129 00:04:35,954 --> 00:04:37,424 [gasps] STEPHANIE! 130 00:04:37,589 --> 00:04:39,819 EMILY! 131 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:44,158 - YOU READY? - YES! 132 00:04:44,322 --> 00:04:45,352 OH, GOSH! 133 00:04:45,522 --> 00:04:46,352 YOU REMEMBERED. 134 00:04:46,522 --> 00:04:47,692 YEAH! 135 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:53,295 JANIE, THIS IS OUR COUSIN. 136 00:04:53,455 --> 00:04:55,455 OH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND SIGN LANGUAGE. 137 00:04:55,622 --> 00:04:58,852 [slowly] IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 138 00:05:02,723 --> 00:05:03,863 OH, IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU, EM. 139 00:05:04,090 --> 00:05:05,530 HAS IT REALLY BEEN FIVE ARS? 140 00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:07,400 YEAH. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 141 00:05:07,556 --> 00:05:08,726 AND WE ONLY HAVE 48 HOURS TO CATCH UP 142 00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,550 AND MAKE SOME NEW MEMORIES. 143 00:05:10,723 --> 00:05:11,763 TALK ABOUT BOYS WHILE WE PLAY TENNIS? 144 00:05:11,923 --> 00:05:14,463 WAY AHEAD OF YOU. 145 00:05:14,623 --> 00:05:16,353 - IMPRESSIVE. - [laughs] 146 00:05:16,523 --> 00:05:17,993 OKAY, SO I DATED THIS GUY MATTHEW PEARSON 147 00:05:18,157 --> 00:05:19,257 FOR TWO MONTHS. - WOW. 148 00:05:19,424 --> 00:05:21,094 HEY, EVAN. 149 00:05:21,224 --> 00:05:22,364 OH, HEY, CUZ. 150 00:05:22,524 --> 00:05:24,494 I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU. 151 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,587 YEAH, YOU KNOW, BEEN HITTING THE WEIGHTS 152 00:05:25,757 --> 00:05:26,687 A LITTLE BIT. 153 00:05:26,857 --> 00:05:28,497 I CAN TELL. 154 00:05:28,657 --> 00:05:29,697 HEY, I BROUGHT A NEW MAGIC TRICK 155 00:05:29,857 --> 00:05:30,927 I WANT TO SHOW YOU. 156 00:05:31,092 --> 00:05:32,692 OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH. 157 00:05:32,857 --> 00:05:34,457 CAN YOU SHOW ME LATER, LITTLE CUZ? 158 00:05:34,624 --> 00:05:35,724 THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND ELIZABETH. 159 00:05:35,891 --> 00:05:37,501 WE'RE DRIVING INTO TOWN. 160 00:05:37,657 --> 00:05:39,327 - YEAH, SURE, NO PROBLEM. - OKAY. 161 00:05:39,492 --> 00:05:41,522 HEY, DON'T DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO. 162 00:05:41,691 --> 00:05:45,691 WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I DON'T DO ANYTHING. 163 00:05:45,858 --> 00:05:47,698 PREPARE TO LOVE ME. 164 00:05:47,858 --> 00:05:49,798 I GOT YOU ALL SET UP WITH 165 00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,568 THE CELEBRITY DISCOUNT SPA PACKAGE! 166 00:05:52,725 --> 00:05:54,435 - OH! - WOW! 167 00:05:54,592 --> 00:05:56,462 HEY, I DROPPED YOUR NAME, YOU KNOW, 168 00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:58,195 BUT I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T MIND 'CAUSE WE'RE FAMILY! 169 00:05:58,359 --> 00:05:59,429 OH, YES, WE ARE. WE ARE FAMILY. 170 00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:01,222 OH, THE PAPARAZZI HERE. 171 00:06:01,393 --> 00:06:02,523 OH, NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO. 172 00:06:02,692 --> 00:06:04,492 CHIP IS OUR VIDEOGRAPHER. 173 00:06:04,659 --> 00:06:06,129 WE'RE CAPTURING ALL THE MEMORIES OF THE WEEKEND. 174 00:06:06,293 --> 00:06:07,663 - OH. - STARTING...NOW! 175 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,126 - AH! - GROUP HUG! 176 00:06:09,293 --> 00:06:11,093 [laughs] - OKAY! 177 00:06:11,193 --> 00:06:12,323 HEY, HEY, LOOK WHO'S HUGGING DAVID HOBBS. 178 00:06:12,493 --> 00:06:13,993 [laughs] 179 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:14,960 [shrill voice] I LOVE IT! 180 00:06:15,127 --> 00:06:15,887 YEAH. 181 00:06:21,127 --> 00:06:23,127 SO LET'S DO A MANI/PEDI, 182 00:06:23,294 --> 00:06:25,564 AN EXFOLIATING FACIAL, 183 00:06:25,727 --> 00:06:29,627 DETOXIFYING SEAWEED WRAP, AND THEN OXYGEN BLAST. 184 00:06:29,794 --> 00:06:32,864 AND WHATEVER SHE WANTS. 185 00:06:33,095 --> 00:06:34,165 I'LL HAVE WHAT MY WIFE IS HAVING, 186 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,527 AND IF YOU COULD THROW IN 187 00:06:36,694 --> 00:06:39,164 A HAIR-SILKENING TREATMENT, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 188 00:06:39,328 --> 00:06:41,268 OOH! I WANT ONE OF THOSE TOO. 189 00:06:41,428 --> 00:06:42,868 OKAY, THERE SHOULD BE A CELEBRITY SPA PACKAGE FOR ME. 190 00:06:43,095 --> 00:06:44,165 I'M DAVID HOBBS. 191 00:06:44,328 --> 00:06:45,958 I'M SORRY, MR. HOBBS, 192 00:06:46,128 --> 00:06:47,828 BUT WE'RE TOTALLY BOOKED TODAY. 193 00:06:49,728 --> 00:06:51,668 WHAT? 194 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,668 A MR. FRED HOBBS MADE THE DAVID HOBBS DISCOUNT 195 00:06:54,828 --> 00:06:58,198 AVAILABLE TO HIS ENTIRE PARTY, AND IT BOOKED UP LIKE THAT. 196 00:06:58,361 --> 00:07:02,431 OH, SO LET ME JUST GET THIS STRAIGHT IN MY HEAD, 197 00:07:02,595 --> 00:07:06,795 SO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS THAT I'M RISING ABOVE. 198 00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:09,001 THANKS TO MY COUSIN FRED, 199 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,672 EVERYBODY IS ENJOYING THE DAVID HOBBS DISCOUNT, 200 00:07:12,829 --> 00:07:15,099 EXCEPT FOR ME, DAVID HOBBS? 201 00:07:15,262 --> 00:07:18,102 BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ENJOY OUR REFRESHING CUCUMBER WATER 202 00:07:18,197 --> 00:07:21,097 AS SOON AS THAT GENTLEMAN IS DONE. 203 00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:22,900 MARCUS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 204 00:07:23,097 --> 00:07:24,697 OH, HEY. 205 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,332 TREATING THIS LIKE A TEMPLE, DAVID. 206 00:07:26,497 --> 00:07:28,167 BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT. 207 00:07:28,330 --> 00:07:29,730 IT'S A TRIANGLE. - NO, I-- 208 00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:31,596 FEEL THAT WATER. 209 00:07:31,763 --> 00:07:33,523 YOU'RE GETTING IT IN MY HAIR. STOP! 210 00:07:33,697 --> 00:07:35,697 YOU'RE GETTING IT IN MY HAIR! - ALL RIGHT. 211 00:07:35,863 --> 00:07:36,893 NO! NOW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT MY COUSIN FRED'S PARTY? 212 00:07:37,098 --> 00:07:38,798 OH, I WAS INVITED. 213 00:07:38,963 --> 00:07:40,763 SEE, UNLIKE YOU, I ACTUALLY LIKE THE MAN. 214 00:07:40,930 --> 00:07:43,130 THE REAL QUESTION IS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 215 00:07:43,298 --> 00:07:45,098 WE'RE HERE FOR THE KIDS, RIGHT, HONEY? 216 00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:47,231 YEAH, IT TURNS OUT THE ONE TIME IN MY LIFE 217 00:07:47,398 --> 00:07:49,398 MY KIDS LISTEN TO ME IT'S WHEN I SAY, "FAMILY COMES FIRST." 218 00:07:49,564 --> 00:07:51,104 AND HE WAS LIKE, "REALLY?" AND I WAS LIKE, "UH, YEAH!" 219 00:07:51,264 --> 00:07:52,394 - NO WAY. DID HE EVEN-- - YEAH! 220 00:07:52,564 --> 00:07:54,334 OH, I'M LITERALLY DYING. 221 00:07:54,498 --> 00:07:55,938 STEPHANIE AND EMILY HOBBS ARE HERE 222 00:07:56,098 --> 00:07:57,838 FOR A MANI/PEDI. - YEAH. 223 00:07:57,998 --> 00:07:59,698 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE GOT TO STAY ON SCHEDULE. 224 00:07:59,864 --> 00:08:01,574 I'LL TAKE THE MANI, YOU TAKE THE PEDI. 225 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,531 YEAH, GUYS, THEY'RE ALL BOOKED UP. 226 00:08:03,698 --> 00:08:05,268 OH, MY DAD MADE THIS APPOINTMENT DAYS AGO. 227 00:08:05,432 --> 00:08:06,392 YOU SHOULD TRY USING YOUR NAME. 228 00:08:06,565 --> 00:08:08,135 IT REALLY WORKS. 229 00:08:08,299 --> 00:08:09,199 - THAT'S A GOOD TIP. - MM-HMM. 230 00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:10,405 THANK YOU. 231 00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:12,275 OH, I JUST REMEMBERED. 232 00:08:12,432 --> 00:08:13,232 OKAY, SO WHEN I TURNED 13, I TRIED BANGS. 233 00:08:13,399 --> 00:08:15,099 CUTE. 234 00:08:15,232 --> 00:08:16,092 - UH, I LOOKED LIKE A MUSHROOM. - OH. 235 00:08:16,199 --> 00:08:16,369 YEAH. 236 00:08:18,199 --> 00:08:21,429 UH, SO, UH, CRYING DURING A MASSAGE 237 00:08:21,599 --> 00:08:22,869 IS PERFECTLY NORMAL, RIGHT? 238 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,440 YEAH. 239 00:08:24,599 --> 00:08:25,599 YOU OKAY, KEVIN? 240 00:08:25,765 --> 00:08:27,505 YEAH, I'M FINE. 241 00:08:27,665 --> 00:08:29,465 I WAS JUST-- DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE RELEASES 242 00:08:29,633 --> 00:08:31,503 A LOT OF EMOTIONS, 243 00:08:31,666 --> 00:08:33,696 AND I WAS PRETTY EMOTIONAL EARLIER ON THE TABLE, 244 00:08:33,866 --> 00:08:37,106 BUT I'M DOING FINE NOW. [crying] 245 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,400 UM, EXCUSE ME. 246 00:08:39,566 --> 00:08:40,936 I'M GONNA PASS ON THE DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE 247 00:08:41,101 --> 00:08:44,501 IF YOU'RE COOL WITH THAT. 248 00:08:44,666 --> 00:08:46,566 - [blows air] - YES! 249 00:08:46,733 --> 00:08:48,403 COME ON, JOE. 250 00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:50,537 YOU SHOWED ME THIS TRICK FIVE TIMES! 251 00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:52,200 WHICH MAGIC WORD DO YOU THINK'S THE BEST? 252 00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:54,837 KAPOW OR KAZAAM? 253 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,240 HOW ABOUT THIS? 254 00:08:56,401 --> 00:08:57,971 KER-PLOP. 255 00:08:58,134 --> 00:08:59,534 [quarter splashes] 256 00:08:59,701 --> 00:09:01,531 WHY'D YOU DO THAT? 257 00:09:01,701 --> 00:09:04,171 I MADE A WISH THAT YOU'D STOP DOING MAGIC. 258 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,695 AND LOOK AT THAT. IT CAME TRUE. 259 00:09:06,867 --> 00:09:08,637 WELL, JOKE'S ON YOU. 260 00:09:08,801 --> 00:09:13,771 NOW I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO GO IN THE FOUNTAIN. 261 00:09:13,934 --> 00:09:17,614 JOE, YOU KNOW THEY HAVE A POOL, RIGHT? 262 00:09:17,768 --> 00:09:19,408 CHECK THIS OUT, EVAN. 263 00:09:19,568 --> 00:09:20,838 WATCH ME BITE THIS QUARTER IN HALF. 264 00:09:21,002 --> 00:09:22,102 KAPOW! 265 00:09:22,268 --> 00:09:23,728 OW! 266 00:09:23,902 --> 00:09:26,002 REAL QUARTER. 267 00:09:26,169 --> 00:09:27,769 HEY, YOU KNOW WHO LOVES MAGIC? 268 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:30,605 MY LITTLE BROTHER, ADAM. 269 00:09:30,768 --> 00:09:32,608 ADAM, THIS IS YOUR COUSIN, JOE. 270 00:09:32,768 --> 00:09:34,098 HI, JOE. 271 00:09:34,203 --> 00:09:36,173 - HI. - EVAN. 272 00:09:36,336 --> 00:09:38,206 YOU MIND IF WE TAKE A RAIN CHECK, MAGIC MAN? 273 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,509 ELIZABETH AND I ARE TAKING A PADDLEBOARD LESSON, 274 00:09:39,669 --> 00:09:41,609 AND SHE HATES TO BE LATE. 275 00:09:41,769 --> 00:09:43,129 WOMEN. AM I RIGHT? 276 00:09:43,303 --> 00:09:45,403 WHAT AM I RIGHT ABOUT? 277 00:09:45,569 --> 00:09:47,639 I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN. 278 00:09:47,803 --> 00:09:49,603 I WANT TO SEE YOUR TRICK, JOE. 279 00:09:49,769 --> 00:09:52,239 MAYBE LATER, ADAM. 280 00:09:55,504 --> 00:09:57,274 EXCUSE ME. I'M DAVID HOBBS. 281 00:09:57,437 --> 00:09:59,237 I WAS TOLD YOU HAVE A MASSAGE FOR ME. 282 00:09:59,404 --> 00:10:01,404 {\an8}OUI, MONSIEUR HOBBS. HERE IS YOUR MESSAGE. 283 00:10:03,504 --> 00:10:05,174 I-I WAS TOLD A MASSAGE. 284 00:10:05,337 --> 00:10:06,967 {\an8}OUI. 285 00:10:07,138 --> 00:10:08,908 IT IS FROM YOUR MASSEUR, MONSIEUR. 286 00:10:09,071 --> 00:10:11,141 THE MESSAGE IS THERE ARE STILL NO MASSAGES. 287 00:10:11,305 --> 00:10:12,875 WAIT. 288 00:10:13,037 --> 00:10:14,947 THERE IS ONE MORE MESSAGE. 289 00:10:15,105 --> 00:10:16,305 - OH, I'LL TAKE IT. - IT IS FROM YOUR COUSIN, FRED. 290 00:10:16,471 --> 00:10:17,871 OH, COME ON! 291 00:10:18,037 --> 00:10:19,767 THERE YOU ARE, DAVID! 292 00:10:19,938 --> 00:10:22,038 OH, YOU'RE LOOKING MORE RELAXED THAN EVER. 293 00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,205 OH, NOT QUITE THERE YET, FRED. 294 00:10:24,371 --> 00:10:26,501 YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU NEED SOME OLGA TIME. 295 00:10:26,671 --> 00:10:28,171 THE RUSSIAN CIRCUS' LOSS WAS OUR GAIN. 296 00:10:28,339 --> 00:10:30,269 YEAH. [chuckles] 297 00:10:30,439 --> 00:10:31,439 LISTEN, I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT SPA PACKAGE. 298 00:10:31,605 --> 00:10:33,305 OH, YEAH, YEAH. 299 00:10:33,472 --> 00:10:35,302 YOU KNOW HOW YOU COULD THANK ME FOR THAT? 300 00:10:35,472 --> 00:10:37,472 A FEW OF MY GUESTS WERE HOPING FOR AN AUTOGRAPH, 301 00:10:37,639 --> 00:10:38,539 AND I TOLD 'EM, "MY COUSIN, DAVID, WOULD LOVE TO DO IT." 302 00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:40,336 THAT'S FINE. 303 00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:44,506 OKAY, HE'S READY! [laughs] 304 00:10:44,672 --> 00:10:47,172 OH, OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 305 00:10:47,339 --> 00:10:48,609 OH, UH, HI. 306 00:10:48,772 --> 00:10:49,972 - DAVID. - YES? 307 00:10:50,140 --> 00:10:51,210 CHIP TELLS ME YOU HAVEN'T DONE 308 00:10:51,373 --> 00:10:52,503 YOUR TESTIMONIAL YET. 309 00:10:52,672 --> 00:10:53,832 IF YOU WANT TO DO IT NOW, 310 00:10:54,006 --> 00:10:55,646 COULD YOU MENTION THE HOTEL? 311 00:10:55,806 --> 00:10:57,876 YOU KNOW, JUST SAY SOMETHING SIMPLE 312 00:10:58,039 --> 00:11:00,569 LIKE, "WHEN I'M IN SANTA BARBARA, 313 00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:03,840 THE ONLY PLACE I STAY IS THE HOTEL DU SOLEIL." 314 00:11:04,007 --> 00:11:05,947 OKAY? 315 00:11:06,108 --> 00:11:09,378 AND IF IT FEELS NATURAL, COULD YOU HOLD UP THIS CARD? 316 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,810 UM... 317 00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:15,803 THEY OFFERED ME A HUGE DISCOUNT. 318 00:11:15,973 --> 00:11:18,113 I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T MIND 'CAUSE YOU'RE FAMILY! 319 00:11:18,274 --> 00:11:19,974 YOU KNOW, MAYBE I'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT LATER. 320 00:11:20,141 --> 00:11:21,311 OKAY, FRED? 321 00:11:21,474 --> 00:11:23,204 I CAN TELL YOU ASKED HIM, 322 00:11:23,374 --> 00:11:25,174 AND HE SAID, "YES!" DID I TELL YOU, AMY? 323 00:11:25,341 --> 00:11:26,371 YES. [laughs] 324 00:11:26,541 --> 00:11:28,141 LOUDLY AND REPEATEDLY. 325 00:11:28,308 --> 00:11:31,108 HAPPY 20TH, FREDDIE SPAGHETTI! 326 00:11:31,242 --> 00:11:32,942 [whispers] OH, MY GOSH. 327 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,249 - OH. - HI. HI. 328 00:11:35,409 --> 00:11:36,479 WHAT'S GOING ON? 329 00:11:36,641 --> 00:11:38,841 I LOVE IT! 330 00:11:39,008 --> 00:11:41,478 WE'RE GOING HOME. 331 00:11:45,409 --> 00:11:47,179 I KNEW IT. 332 00:11:47,342 --> 00:11:49,112 I KNEW HE'D PULL OUT THAT SHOW PONY STUFF. 333 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,115 I TOLD YOU. - DAVID, WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE. 334 00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,913 I KNOW. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. FINE. 335 00:11:54,110 --> 00:11:55,710 WE'LL DO IT FOR THE KIDS 336 00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:56,905 'CAUSE WE HAVE TO BE GOOD PARENTS, 337 00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:58,340 SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. 338 00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,110 DAVID! 339 00:12:00,243 --> 00:12:01,913 OH, WHAT A DAY WE HAD. - YEAH. 340 00:12:02,110 --> 00:12:03,680 AFTER OUR BIKE RIDE, WE STUMBLED UPON 341 00:12:03,843 --> 00:12:05,183 THE CUTEST LITTLE FARMER'S MARKET. 342 00:12:05,343 --> 00:12:08,543 PLUOT? 343 00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:11,610 ORGANIC MANGO GUACAMOLE WITH A HINT OF MINT. 344 00:12:11,776 --> 00:12:12,836 HUH? 345 00:12:13,010 --> 00:12:14,610 I'LL BE IN MY ROOM. 346 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,716 HEY, DAVID, YOU NEED TO RELAX. 347 00:12:17,876 --> 00:12:19,146 EMBRACE THE TRIANGLE. 348 00:12:19,311 --> 00:12:20,411 BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT. 349 00:12:20,577 --> 00:12:22,317 OKAY? BOOP. 350 00:12:22,477 --> 00:12:24,947 - WHAT WAS THAT? - BOOP. 351 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,681 STOP BOOPING ME, MARCUS. DON'T BOOP ME. 352 00:12:26,844 --> 00:12:28,414 IT'S ANNOYING. - DOUBLE BOOP. 353 00:12:28,577 --> 00:12:29,717 - STOP BOOPING ME. - FULL BOOP. 354 00:12:29,877 --> 00:12:31,347 NO! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP? 355 00:12:31,511 --> 00:12:33,481 MAKE HIM STOP BOOPING ME, HONEY! 356 00:12:33,644 --> 00:12:35,354 I'M GONNA LOSE MY MIND HERE IN A SECOND. 357 00:12:35,511 --> 00:12:36,551 STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! 358 00:12:36,711 --> 00:12:37,481 SWEETIE, SWEETIE--HEY! 359 00:12:37,644 --> 00:12:38,644 HEY! 360 00:12:38,811 --> 00:12:39,971 MAYBE HE'S RIGHT. 361 00:12:40,145 --> 00:12:40,945 MAYBE YOU DO NEED TO RELAX. 362 00:12:41,112 --> 00:12:45,012 OKAY? 363 00:12:45,178 --> 00:12:48,148 WE'RE GOING TO THE SPA. - FINE. 364 00:12:48,312 --> 00:12:49,312 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WAS, BUT DON'T EVER BOOP ME AGAIN. 365 00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:51,348 CAN I HELP YOU? 366 00:12:51,512 --> 00:12:54,212 I'M FREDDIE HOBBS, COUSIN OF TV'S DAVID HOBBS. 367 00:12:54,378 --> 00:12:56,208 DID I MENTION I'M DAVID HOBBS' COUSIN? 368 00:12:56,379 --> 00:12:59,319 AND I'M MANDY, WIFE OF FREDDIE SPAGHETTI HERE. 369 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,819 AND COUSIN-IN-LAW TO DAVID HOBBS. 370 00:13:01,978 --> 00:13:05,408 [laughing] YOU TWO ARE HYSTERICAL! 371 00:13:05,579 --> 00:13:08,719 OH, CHIP ARE YOU GETTING THIS? THEY'RE DOING A BIT. 372 00:13:08,879 --> 00:13:10,349 THIS IS PERFECT TIMING BECAUSE WHILE WE'RE GETTING 373 00:13:10,513 --> 00:13:12,783 OUR COUPLES MASSAGE FROM OLGA, 374 00:13:12,946 --> 00:13:14,716 YOU CAN DO YOUR ENDORSEMENT WITH CHIP 375 00:13:14,879 --> 00:13:16,609 OKAY, BUT REMEMBER, SELL IT, 376 00:13:16,779 --> 00:13:17,949 BECAUSE THESE MASSAGES AREN'T CHEAP. 377 00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:20,114 YEAH. OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. 378 00:13:22,114 --> 00:13:24,014 YOU KNOW WHAT? NO, NO, COME ON. 379 00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:25,110 LET'S DO IT. LET'S DO IT. 380 00:13:25,247 --> 00:13:26,947 LET'S DO THIS. 381 00:13:27,114 --> 00:13:28,014 FREDDIE, YOU WANT YOUR ENDORSEMENT, FRED? 382 00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:30,180 HERE IT IS. 383 00:13:30,347 --> 00:13:33,547 COUSIN FRED, YOU ARE A USER, A NAME-DROPPER, AND A MOOCH. 384 00:13:33,714 --> 00:13:35,914 YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FAMILY. 385 00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:37,755 YOU AND YOUR CAESAR SALAD-EATING WIFE-- 386 00:13:37,914 --> 00:13:39,774 YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER. 387 00:13:39,947 --> 00:13:41,687 - YOU TELL 'EM. - I'M TELLING 'EM. 388 00:13:41,847 --> 00:13:43,517 - TELL 'EM. - YOU WANT YOUR ENDORSEMENT? 389 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,480 YOU WANT IT? WELL, IT'S COMING, FRED. 390 00:13:45,648 --> 00:13:47,218 IT'S REALLY COMING FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. 391 00:13:47,381 --> 00:13:49,021 YOU READY FOR IT? HERE IT COMES! 392 00:13:49,181 --> 00:13:50,651 YOU READY, HONEY? - OH, YEAH. 393 00:13:50,815 --> 00:13:51,645 - LET'S DO IT! - OH, YEAH. 394 00:13:51,815 --> 00:13:53,745 AND... 395 00:13:53,915 --> 00:13:56,485 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, FREDDIE! 396 00:13:56,648 --> 00:13:59,818 AND MANDY! 397 00:14:04,249 --> 00:14:05,949 AH, YOU'RE REALLY HAPPY, AREN'T YOU? 398 00:14:06,116 --> 00:14:07,726 BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT, AMY. 399 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,251 BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT. 400 00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:12,816 BOOP! 401 00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:14,412 FRESH BUN? 402 00:14:14,582 --> 00:14:16,812 NO THANK YOU. [laughs] 403 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,982 BUT I WILL TAKE THE LID OFF 404 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,850 THIS CREAMER TO LET THE DAIRY AIR. 405 00:14:23,016 --> 00:14:23,946 OH! [laughs] 406 00:14:24,117 --> 00:14:26,157 WHAT'D I SAY? 407 00:14:26,317 --> 00:14:28,157 FIRST TIME I DROVE, I HIT A BIRD, 408 00:14:28,317 --> 00:14:29,847 AND THEN I NURSED IT BACK TO HEALTH. 409 00:14:30,016 --> 00:14:32,016 THAT IS SO WEIRD. 410 00:14:32,183 --> 00:14:35,383 I HIT A NURSE, AND HER NAME WAS ROBIN. 411 00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:38,150 [laughs] 412 00:14:38,317 --> 00:14:41,347 JOE, YOU OKAY? 413 00:14:41,517 --> 00:14:45,217 I JUST THOUGHT THIS WEEKEND WOULD BE DIFFERENT. 414 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,184 JOE, YOU KNOW, THE GREAT THING ABOUT FAMILY IS 415 00:14:48,351 --> 00:14:50,181 THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME GOES BY, 416 00:14:50,351 --> 00:14:52,951 THEY WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR LIFE. 417 00:14:53,118 --> 00:14:54,558 RIGHT, STEPH? 418 00:14:54,718 --> 00:14:56,718 IF YOU'RE LUCKY LIKE US. 419 00:14:56,884 --> 00:14:58,724 LOOK, JOE! 420 00:14:58,884 --> 00:15:00,884 I FOUND YOUR MAGIC QUARTER. 421 00:15:01,119 --> 00:15:03,119 THANKS, ADAM. 422 00:15:03,219 --> 00:15:04,989 LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT A FAN. 423 00:15:05,152 --> 00:15:07,952 I WONDER HOW HE'LL REMEMBER THIS WEEKEND. 424 00:15:08,119 --> 00:15:10,819 HEY, WANT ME TO SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS? 425 00:15:10,984 --> 00:15:13,554 AWESOME! 426 00:15:13,719 --> 00:15:17,989 GLORIA, HELEN, THIS IS MY SISTER, EMILY. 427 00:15:18,153 --> 00:15:19,953 WE JUST LOVE THIS ONE. 428 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,390 CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF HER. 429 00:15:21,552 --> 00:15:22,892 I'M ADORABLE! 430 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,760 SO ADORABLE! 431 00:15:24,919 --> 00:15:26,189 LOOK AT THAT PUNIM. 432 00:15:26,353 --> 00:15:27,453 ISN'T THIS GREAT? 433 00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:29,280 I LOVE COUSINS! 434 00:15:29,453 --> 00:15:33,223 I'M KVELLING. - [laughs] 435 00:15:33,386 --> 00:15:35,116 ARE THOSE LADIES REALLY OUR COUSINS? 436 00:15:35,286 --> 00:15:37,686 I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THOSE PEOPLE ARE, 437 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,183 BUT JANIE'S HAPPY. 438 00:15:39,353 --> 00:15:42,123 [glass clinking] 439 00:15:42,221 --> 00:15:44,861 MANDY AND I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING. 440 00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:47,960 TONIGHT IS NOT JUST A CELEBRATION OF US. 441 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,581 IT'S A CELEBRATION OF FAMILY. 442 00:15:50,753 --> 00:15:52,253 AND NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE 443 00:15:52,421 --> 00:15:55,791 WITHOUT MY COUSIN, DAVID. 444 00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:57,984 NOW, SOME OF YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW 445 00:15:58,154 --> 00:16:00,584 THAT WHEN I FOLLOWED MY FUTURE BRIDE TO L.A., 446 00:16:00,754 --> 00:16:04,624 IT WAS DAVID WHO LET ME SLEEP ON HIS COUCH FOR A WEEK. 447 00:16:04,787 --> 00:16:08,027 FIVE WEEKS. 448 00:16:08,188 --> 00:16:10,488 AND WHEN I NEEDED A SUIT FOR MY FIRST JOB INTERVIEW, 449 00:16:10,655 --> 00:16:13,425 IT WAS DAVID WHO LOANED ME HIS ARMANI. 450 00:16:13,588 --> 00:16:15,118 OH, SO THAT'S WHERE IT WENT, HONEY. 451 00:16:15,288 --> 00:16:16,758 GUESS I OWE MARCUS AN APOLOGY. 452 00:16:18,488 --> 00:16:21,798 [mouths silently] 453 00:16:21,955 --> 00:16:24,125 BUT THE TRUTH IS IT WASN'T THAT SUIT THAT GOT ME THE JOB. 454 00:16:24,289 --> 00:16:26,459 IT WAS THE CALL THAT DAVID MADE ON MY BEHALF 455 00:16:26,622 --> 00:16:28,532 THAT GOT ME BACK ON MY FEET. 456 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:32,798 [applause] 457 00:16:32,955 --> 00:16:35,865 I'VE DROPPED DAVID'S NAME MORE TIMES THAN I CAN REMEMBER. 458 00:16:36,022 --> 00:16:40,332 I'VE GOTTEN MORE PERKS FROM HIM BEING HIM THAN HE HAS. 459 00:16:40,489 --> 00:16:44,129 [laughter] 460 00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:47,020 AND HE'S NEVER ONCE JUDGED ME FOR IT. 461 00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:49,690 [laughs] 462 00:16:49,856 --> 00:16:53,596 [clears throat] 463 00:16:53,756 --> 00:16:55,466 HE'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME, 464 00:16:55,624 --> 00:17:00,194 AND THAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF FAMILY. 465 00:17:00,357 --> 00:17:02,397 AND I LOVE HIM. 466 00:17:02,557 --> 00:17:06,167 [applause] 467 00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:09,335 I'M FEELING KIND OF BAD ABOUT WHAT WE DID IN THAT VIDEO NOW. 468 00:17:09,491 --> 00:17:11,661 ANYWAY, I HEAR CHIP'S BEEN GETTING 469 00:17:11,824 --> 00:17:13,794 SOME WONDERFUL THINGS ON THE VIDEO TRIBUTE, 470 00:17:13,957 --> 00:17:16,427 SO I DECIDED WHY WAIT TILL MANDY AND I ARE HOME TO WATCH? 471 00:17:16,591 --> 00:17:18,831 WHY NOT SHARE THE LOVE WITH EVERYONE? 472 00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:23,860 LIGHTS! 473 00:17:24,025 --> 00:17:25,125 - HEY, MOM. HEY, DAD. - HI. 474 00:17:25,258 --> 00:17:27,728 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 475 00:17:27,891 --> 00:17:29,791 I AM TEXTING KEVIN TO CREATE A DIVERSION. 476 00:17:29,958 --> 00:17:31,798 THEN I'M GONNA TEXT MARCUS TO GRAB 477 00:17:31,958 --> 00:17:33,558 THE REMOTE CONTROL AWAY FROM CHIP. 478 00:17:33,725 --> 00:17:35,295 - WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? - HELLO. 479 00:17:35,459 --> 00:17:36,719 I'M THE BRAINS OF THE OPERATION. 480 00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,529 [caws loudly] 481 00:17:41,692 --> 00:17:43,352 THE PLAN IS UNDERWAY. 482 00:17:43,526 --> 00:17:46,326 [caws] 483 00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:49,032 WHY HE ALWAYS DOES A CROW I WILL NEVER KNOW. 484 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:49,693 [caws loudly] 485 00:17:56,127 --> 00:18:00,997 YOU ARE A USER AND A NAME-DROPPER AND A MOOCH. 486 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:05,400 YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FAMILY. 487 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:06,660 YOU WANT YOUR ENDORSEMENT? YOU WANT IT? 488 00:18:06,827 --> 00:18:07,997 WELL, IT'S COMING, FRED, 489 00:18:08,161 --> 00:18:09,331 FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. 490 00:18:09,493 --> 00:18:12,463 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, FREDDIE! 491 00:18:12,627 --> 00:18:13,997 AND MANDY! 492 00:18:20,628 --> 00:18:23,198 [caws inquisitively] 493 00:18:28,261 --> 00:18:31,901 FRED, I CAN EXPLAIN. 494 00:18:32,129 --> 00:18:35,799 OH, YOU'RE GONNA EXPLAIN... 495 00:18:35,961 --> 00:18:38,861 HOW YOU BECAME... 496 00:18:39,028 --> 00:18:40,628 THE FUNNIEST MAN IN AMERICA. 497 00:18:40,795 --> 00:18:42,765 THE GUY WAS ROASTING ME! 498 00:18:42,929 --> 00:18:46,699 [laughs] 499 00:18:46,862 --> 00:18:48,862 WELL, YEAH, I WAS ROASTING YOU. 500 00:18:49,029 --> 00:18:51,429 AND NOW, FRED, 501 00:18:51,595 --> 00:18:55,295 I WOULD LIKE TO TOAST YOU. 502 00:18:55,463 --> 00:19:01,263 COUSIN FRED, YOU'RE A GOOD MAN WITH A BIG HEART, 503 00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:04,370 AND THERE'S NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO FOR YOU 504 00:19:04,530 --> 00:19:08,040 BECAUSE WE'RE FAMILY. 505 00:19:08,196 --> 00:19:09,196 TO FAMILY. 506 00:19:09,363 --> 00:19:10,963 all: TO FAMILY! 507 00:19:11,131 --> 00:19:13,201 [glasses clink] 508 00:19:13,364 --> 00:19:16,304 YOU ARE A GEM, DAVID HOBBS. 509 00:19:16,464 --> 00:19:18,264 - THANK YOU, MANDY. - JUST LOOK AT THAT CABOOSE. 510 00:19:18,431 --> 00:19:20,391 OH, YOU, COME ON. 511 00:19:20,564 --> 00:19:23,464 HONEY, HE'S STILL TALKING ABOUT ME. 512 00:19:27,131 --> 00:19:28,231 THANKS, AGAIN, FOR COMING, DAVID. 513 00:19:28,397 --> 00:19:30,167 IT MEANT THE WORLD TO US. 514 00:19:30,331 --> 00:19:31,931 LET'S JUST NOT MAKE IT ANOTHER FIVE YEARS 515 00:19:32,132 --> 00:19:33,002 BEFORE WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN. 516 00:19:33,165 --> 00:19:35,435 AMY, I'LL... 517 00:19:35,597 --> 00:19:37,437 [shouts] CALL YOU! 518 00:19:37,597 --> 00:19:39,137 [laughs nervously] OKAY. ON THE PHONE. 519 00:19:39,298 --> 00:19:40,138 YOU PROMISE? - YEAH! [laughs] 520 00:19:40,265 --> 00:19:41,435 OKAY. 521 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,458 AND THEN WE CAME HERE, 522 00:19:43,632 --> 00:19:44,802 AND I GUESS WE'RE ALL CAUGHT UP. 523 00:19:44,964 --> 00:19:46,864 WE DID IT! 524 00:19:47,031 --> 00:19:49,941 AND NOW WE'RE HERE SAYING GOOD-BYE. 525 00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:53,433 AND I'M MISSING YOU ALREADY. - AW. 526 00:19:55,798 --> 00:19:57,498 NEXT TIME WE SEE EACH OTHER, 527 00:19:57,665 --> 00:19:58,865 I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT QUARTER TRICK. 528 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,032 BUT I DON'T HAVE THE QUARTER. 529 00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:02,729 SURE YOU DO. IT'S RIGHT HERE. 530 00:20:02,898 --> 00:20:05,328 KAZ-ADAM! - AWESOME! 531 00:20:05,499 --> 00:20:07,139 KEEP IT. 532 00:20:07,299 --> 00:20:08,539 - YOUR BILL, MONSIEUR HOBBS. - OH. 533 00:20:14,399 --> 00:20:17,299 UH, CHIP, COME HERE FOR A SECOND. 534 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:18,367 RIGHT THERE IS GOOD. 535 00:20:18,533 --> 00:20:21,403 AND ACTION. 536 00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:23,967 WHENEVER I'M IN SANTA BARBARA, 537 00:20:24,134 --> 00:20:29,074 THE ONLY PLACE I'LL STAY IS THE HOTEL DU SOLEIL. 538 00:20:30,667 --> 00:20:31,207 OKAY. 539 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,000 THANK YOU, DAVID. 540 00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:37,768 YOU'RE WELCOME. 541 00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:38,834 MY FATHER. 542 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,840 SUCH A MENSCH. 543 00:20:44,706 --> 00:20:47,546 [upbeat music] 544 00:20:47,709 --> 00:20:55,189 ♪ 545 00:20:55,239 --> 00:20:59,789 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36960

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.