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1
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:12,944
? Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'
2
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,446
? Come on, get happy
3
00:00:16,822 --> 00:00:20,957
? A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
4
00:00:21,026 --> 00:00:23,527
? We'll make you happy
5
00:00:25,297 --> 00:00:28,599
? We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together
6
00:00:28,667 --> 00:00:32,135
? And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on
7
00:00:32,204 --> 00:00:35,439
? Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together
8
00:00:35,508 --> 00:00:38,776
? We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song
9
00:00:38,845 --> 00:00:42,963
? Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'
10
00:00:43,032 --> 00:00:47,250
? Come on, get happy
11
00:00:47,319 --> 00:00:51,472
? A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
12
00:00:51,541 --> 00:00:54,842
? We'll make you happy
13
00:00:54,910 --> 00:00:58,279
? We'll make you happy
14
00:00:58,347 --> 00:01:01,114
? We'll make you happy ?
15
00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:08,679
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-
16
00:01:11,594 --> 00:01:15,662
Look, I like sociology. I just
think it should be more human,
17
00:01:15,731 --> 00:01:16,731
more intimate.
18
00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:20,934
More lips. Who is that?
19
00:01:22,271 --> 00:01:23,404
Dory Kimmel.
20
00:01:23,473 --> 00:01:25,217
She was a late
register last Friday,
21
00:01:25,241 --> 00:01:27,119
while you were at the dentist.
22
00:01:27,143 --> 00:01:28,175
Oh, yeah?
23
00:01:28,244 --> 00:01:29,610
(BELL RINGING)
24
00:01:29,678 --> 00:01:31,656
Wait a minute, wait a
minute. Wait a minute, please.
25
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,592
Before you all get settled down,
26
00:01:33,616 --> 00:01:37,485
I want you to form two
lines in front of my desk.
27
00:01:37,553 --> 00:01:40,432
I want the males, that's
the guys, on this side,
28
00:01:40,456 --> 00:01:43,690
and the females
over here. Come on.
29
00:01:43,759 --> 00:01:46,660
Two lines. Nice and straight.
30
00:01:49,898 --> 00:01:54,568
Now, as you know, this
semester's project is violence.
31
00:01:54,637 --> 00:01:57,704
And I thought it might be
interesting to observe this
32
00:01:57,773 --> 00:02:00,051
from the point of
view of both sexes.
33
00:02:00,075 --> 00:02:02,887
So, I want each of you to
step up and pick a number
34
00:02:02,911 --> 00:02:04,956
from the box at
the front of your line,
35
00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:06,791
and those who pick
the same numbers
36
00:02:06,815 --> 00:02:09,082
will be partners on the project.
37
00:02:09,152 --> 00:02:11,032
Now, come on, come on. Pick.
38
00:02:21,930 --> 00:02:23,775
What number did you get? Three.
39
00:02:23,799 --> 00:02:25,910
What did you get?
40
00:02:25,934 --> 00:02:28,079
(SIGHS) Four. You didn't
get number three, did you?
41
00:02:28,103 --> 00:02:29,603
No.
42
00:02:29,672 --> 00:02:32,851
But I think Feder
got number three.
43
00:02:32,875 --> 00:02:35,376
Four? Number four?
44
00:02:35,444 --> 00:02:37,611
Where are you, number four?
45
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,880
I think I'll go have a
little chat with Feder.
46
00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:42,916
Hey, Feder, what's happening?
47
00:02:42,985 --> 00:02:45,430
Cost you two tickets for
the Saturday football game.
48
00:02:45,454 --> 00:02:46,998
To find out what's happening?
49
00:02:47,022 --> 00:02:49,823
No. For number
three. Dory Kimmel.
50
00:02:49,892 --> 00:02:51,970
And, uh, Barnett's already
offered me one ticket,
51
00:02:51,994 --> 00:02:53,372
but the bidding's still open.
52
00:02:53,396 --> 00:02:54,906
Now, look, man,
I'm willing to trade,
53
00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:56,642
but if you think I'm
gonna stoop to the level
54
00:02:56,666 --> 00:02:58,899
of buying a sociology partner...
55
00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:02,203
Number four? I know
you're out there, four.
56
00:03:02,271 --> 00:03:03,904
Number four?
57
00:03:05,508 --> 00:03:07,608
The seats are on
the 50-yard line.
58
00:03:07,677 --> 00:03:11,345
Hey, uh, if you're four. You better
give me a little hot dog money.
59
00:03:15,451 --> 00:03:18,785
Hey. You been following
the prices of hot dogs lately?
60
00:03:28,931 --> 00:03:32,633
Excuse me. You don't by any
chance have number three, do you?
61
00:03:32,702 --> 00:03:35,569
Gee, I hadn't really looked yet.
62
00:03:35,638 --> 00:03:37,816
(EXCLAIMS) Why, yes, I do.
63
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,707
Well, I guess we're partners.
64
00:03:39,775 --> 00:03:41,508
Yeah, I guess we are.
65
00:03:56,024 --> 00:03:58,425
"Leeland was a Leeland
that I had never seen before,
66
00:03:58,494 --> 00:04:01,528
"deep purple bruises coloring
his face like Pop Art painting.
67
00:04:01,597 --> 00:04:05,666
"While one soldier held his arms,
the other redesigned his kidneys.
68
00:04:05,735 --> 00:04:09,637
"Leeland cried out for
me, 'Porky! Porky! Porky!'"
69
00:04:09,705 --> 00:04:11,316
This might be a very good point
70
00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:13,420
for our discussion on
moral responsibility.
71
00:04:14,377 --> 00:04:16,154
I see you two are working hard.
72
00:04:16,178 --> 00:04:17,723
Want some more coffee, Dory?
73
00:04:17,747 --> 00:04:19,891
No, thank you, Mrs. Partridge.
I've got to be getting home.
74
00:04:19,915 --> 00:04:22,082
Oh, so soon? Mmm-hmm.
75
00:04:22,151 --> 00:04:24,796
You don't want to leave yet. I mean,
Leeland's about to be saved by Porky.
76
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:26,820
(LAUGHS) He'll
be saved tomorrow.
77
00:04:26,889 --> 00:04:27,966
Good night, Mrs. Partridge.
78
00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:30,150
SHIRLEY: Good night. Good night.
79
00:04:31,294 --> 00:04:32,959
(SIGHS)
80
00:04:33,028 --> 00:04:34,339
How's the project going?
81
00:04:34,363 --> 00:04:36,530
Hmm?
82
00:04:36,599 --> 00:04:40,434
Oh, I said, "Dory's
quite a girl."
83
00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:43,103
Yeah. I've never
met anyone like her.
84
00:04:43,172 --> 00:04:45,339
She's beautiful, intelligent,
85
00:04:45,408 --> 00:04:47,753
and the fact that she's an older
woman doesn't really bother me either.
86
00:04:47,777 --> 00:04:50,411
Well, she's not exactly
ready for a shawl.
87
00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:53,747
Twenty-three isn't young.
88
00:04:53,816 --> 00:04:56,383
She's so much more mature
than the girls I've dated.
89
00:04:56,452 --> 00:04:58,552
It makes me feel mature.
90
00:04:58,621 --> 00:05:00,821
I'm just so relaxed
when I'm around her.
91
00:05:00,889 --> 00:05:02,690
Mom, this may be the one.
92
00:05:02,758 --> 00:05:03,990
Which one?
93
00:05:04,059 --> 00:05:05,704
The one who steals
my bachelorhood.
94
00:05:05,728 --> 00:05:08,061
The one I've been
waiting for all my life.
95
00:05:08,130 --> 00:05:12,032
Keith, don't you think you're
rushing things just a bit?
96
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:15,569
Mom, I can understand
how you feel.
97
00:05:15,638 --> 00:05:18,171
It's just a syndrome every
mother goes through when they
98
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,375
realize they're no longer
the apple of their son's eye.
99
00:05:21,444 --> 00:05:24,144
Mom, don't you worry.
100
00:05:24,213 --> 00:05:26,547
You're still my apple.
101
00:05:26,615 --> 00:05:28,816
I'm glad to hear that.
102
00:05:28,884 --> 00:05:32,753
But, still, it looks to me like
you and Dory are just friends.
103
00:05:32,822 --> 00:05:35,989
Mom, relationships
aren't like they used to be.
104
00:05:36,058 --> 00:05:37,858
There are no strings attached.
105
00:05:37,926 --> 00:05:40,461
If we walk away, we
walk away. If we don't...
106
00:05:40,529 --> 00:05:42,295
Well then, we don't.
107
00:05:42,365 --> 00:05:45,477
And Dory's told you she
feels the same way about it?
108
00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:48,736
There are certain things that
aren't necessary to put into words.
109
00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:52,573
Like... two trains
on the track of love
110
00:05:52,641 --> 00:05:54,140
are bound to collide.
111
00:05:57,813 --> 00:06:02,683
? Now the walls took
a long time to crumble
112
00:06:02,752 --> 00:06:06,453
? And the jumbled
pieces of my life
113
00:06:06,522 --> 00:06:11,291
? Took the long way
around to come together
114
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:15,396
? And then I heard
you singing your song
115
00:06:15,464 --> 00:06:19,933
? And I knew I'd
been living all wrong
116
00:06:20,002 --> 00:06:23,537
? And I couldn't
help but sing along
117
00:06:23,606 --> 00:06:27,708
? La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la
118
00:06:27,777 --> 00:06:30,210
? La-la-la-la-la
119
00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:37,284
? Never giving, always taking
120
00:06:37,352 --> 00:06:40,721
? And faking every move I made
121
00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:45,559
? To keep me safe
and well protected
122
00:06:45,628 --> 00:06:49,696
? And then I heard
you singing your song
123
00:06:49,765 --> 00:06:54,000
? And I knew I'd
been living all wrong
124
00:06:54,069 --> 00:06:59,706
? And I couldn't
help but sing along
125
00:06:59,775 --> 00:07:01,909
? Sing along
126
00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:04,511
? La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la
127
00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:09,983
? La-la-la-la-la ?
La-la-la ? Sing along
128
00:07:10,052 --> 00:07:12,719
? La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la
129
00:07:12,788 --> 00:07:17,491
? La-la-la ? La-la-la
130
00:07:24,299 --> 00:07:28,234
? I was almost down to empty
131
00:07:28,303 --> 00:07:32,405
? And the world
looked mighty cold
132
00:07:32,475 --> 00:07:36,543
? Then I heard you
sing a simple song
133
00:07:36,612 --> 00:07:40,914
? And the sun came
a-rushin' back to fill my soul
134
00:07:40,983 --> 00:07:43,951
? La-la-la La-la-la
135
00:07:44,019 --> 00:07:46,086
? La-la-la La-la-la
136
00:07:46,154 --> 00:07:50,390
? La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la
137
00:07:50,459 --> 00:07:53,794
? La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la
138
00:07:53,863 --> 00:07:58,599
? La-la-la ? La-la-la-la
139
00:08:01,537 --> 00:08:03,737
? Heard you singing your song
140
00:08:03,806 --> 00:08:05,506
? Heard you singing your song
141
00:08:05,574 --> 00:08:07,774
? Heard you singing your song
142
00:08:07,843 --> 00:08:09,442
? Heard you singing your song
143
00:08:09,512 --> 00:08:11,912
? Heard you singing your song
144
00:08:11,981 --> 00:08:13,413
? Heard you singing your song
145
00:08:13,482 --> 00:08:17,450
? Heard you singing your song
146
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,587
? Your song Your song
147
00:08:20,656 --> 00:08:25,191
? Your song ?
148
00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:28,695
Love it. Absolutely love it.
149
00:08:28,764 --> 00:08:30,430
Thanks, Reuben.
150
00:08:30,499 --> 00:08:33,111
Look, I gotta get going. I promised
Dory I'd meet her at 4:00 sharp.
151
00:08:33,135 --> 00:08:36,481
Well, being a few minutes
late never hurt anybody.
152
00:08:36,505 --> 00:08:39,740
Who was it who said, "The
man on time shall get the cake,
153
00:08:39,808 --> 00:08:42,554
"while the boy who
doddles is only late"?
154
00:08:42,578 --> 00:08:44,244
Betty Crocker.
155
00:08:44,312 --> 00:08:47,152
Cute. But what does your
generation know about virtues?
156
00:08:48,717 --> 00:08:51,129
What's with Keith and
his new maturity kick?
157
00:08:51,153 --> 00:08:53,186
I mean, what about rehearsals?
158
00:08:53,255 --> 00:08:56,723
Well, we've got two choices. We
either break up Keith and his girl,
159
00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:59,073
or we break up
Keith and his legs.
160
00:08:59,127 --> 00:09:01,327
Well, I vote legs.
161
00:09:01,396 --> 00:09:03,496
Come on, it's not that bad.
162
00:09:03,566 --> 00:09:05,766
He's thinking about
growing a mustache.
163
00:09:05,834 --> 00:09:08,312
I caught him listening
to a Dean Martin record.
164
00:09:08,336 --> 00:09:12,138
Yeah, and that aftershave
and stuff. He even smells good.
165
00:09:12,207 --> 00:09:15,086
Good? If you ask me, he
smells like the perfume counter
166
00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:16,777
at Barton's Grand Store.
167
00:09:18,847 --> 00:09:20,781
Of course, you didn't ask me.
168
00:09:22,718 --> 00:09:24,638
Well, they all said things!
169
00:09:28,924 --> 00:09:31,825
Uh, if you're not busy,
I can come back later.
170
00:09:31,894 --> 00:09:33,493
How about 1985?
171
00:09:33,562 --> 00:09:35,707
We're a little sensitive
today, aren't we?
172
00:09:35,731 --> 00:09:37,971
We are not sensitive.
173
00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:42,069
Then we wouldn't mind discussing
the girl who's changing our lives?
174
00:09:42,137 --> 00:09:43,704
Discuss?
175
00:09:43,772 --> 00:09:46,740
Yeah, there's a few
unanswered questions, such as...
176
00:09:46,809 --> 00:09:48,553
Have you taken her
to Muldoon's Point?
177
00:09:48,577 --> 00:09:49,654
It's none of your business.
178
00:09:49,678 --> 00:09:51,558
You have. I have not!
179
00:09:52,915 --> 00:09:54,414
Or the lake?
180
00:09:54,483 --> 00:09:55,483
No.
181
00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:56,683
To a movie?
182
00:09:58,020 --> 00:09:59,864
Have you bought the girl a taco?
183
00:09:59,888 --> 00:10:02,834
Look, you don't just
move in on a girl like Dory.
184
00:10:02,858 --> 00:10:05,859
You mean you haven't had
the guts to ask her for a taco?
185
00:10:08,263 --> 00:10:10,475
Looks to me like the
last of the red-hot lovers
186
00:10:10,499 --> 00:10:12,579
has turned into
"Cool Hand" Luke.
187
00:10:12,635 --> 00:10:14,378
Look, I'm gonna ask her out.
188
00:10:14,402 --> 00:10:16,114
When? On your fifth anniversary?
189
00:10:16,138 --> 00:10:17,370
No, tomorrow.
190
00:10:17,439 --> 00:10:19,651
As a matter of fact, I'm
gonna ask her to a lecture.
191
00:10:19,675 --> 00:10:20,807
A lecture?
192
00:10:20,876 --> 00:10:22,596
That's right, a lecture.
193
00:10:27,482 --> 00:10:29,628
I don't care what other
people say about you,
194
00:10:29,652 --> 00:10:31,217
you're hot stuff.
195
00:10:43,866 --> 00:10:45,744
Dory. Oh, hello, Keith.
196
00:10:45,768 --> 00:10:49,302
Hi, uh... Look, I was
wondering if you...
197
00:10:49,371 --> 00:10:50,849
I came up with a title.
198
00:10:50,873 --> 00:10:52,005
Oh, what is it?
199
00:10:52,074 --> 00:10:54,085
Violence Is as Violence Does.
200
00:10:54,109 --> 00:10:56,955
I thought we'd put a picture
of Danny on the cover.
201
00:10:56,979 --> 00:11:00,213
Look, uh, by the way, there's a
lecture tonight on War and Peace,
202
00:11:00,282 --> 00:11:02,727
and I was wondering
if... Well, if you'd like to go.
203
00:11:02,751 --> 00:11:05,385
Isn't that funny? I was going
to ask you the same thing.
204
00:11:05,453 --> 00:11:06,731
Really? Yeah.
205
00:11:06,755 --> 00:11:08,933
Well, hey, uh, I'll pick you
up around 6:30, all right?
206
00:11:08,957 --> 00:11:11,102
Oh, that won't be necessary.
I've got my car on campus.
207
00:11:11,126 --> 00:11:12,603
I'll just meet you
over at the lecture.
208
00:11:12,627 --> 00:11:14,272
Perfect. Bye-bye.
209
00:11:14,296 --> 00:11:16,696
See you. Uh-huh.
210
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:20,533
I think the song will be all
right. Just needs a little work.
211
00:11:20,602 --> 00:11:22,836
(DOOR CLOSING)
212
00:11:22,905 --> 00:11:25,183
Speaking of
needing a little work.
213
00:11:25,207 --> 00:11:30,777
Well, joke if you want, but
you're looking at the king.
214
00:11:30,846 --> 00:11:33,992
And all this time we thought
you were the court jester.
215
00:11:34,016 --> 00:11:36,094
I know it took me a little
time to get around to it,
216
00:11:36,118 --> 00:11:39,097
but I asked Dory out and she
practically beat me to the punch.
217
00:11:39,121 --> 00:11:41,454
And so continues the moving saga
218
00:11:41,523 --> 00:11:43,656
of Princess Dory and her frog.
219
00:11:45,027 --> 00:11:46,793
Cute, very cute.
220
00:11:46,862 --> 00:11:51,231
I wouldn't exactly call going
to a lecture a sordid love affair.
221
00:11:51,299 --> 00:11:53,078
You're taking her to a lecture?
222
00:11:53,102 --> 00:11:55,635
Face it, Keith. You're slipping.
223
00:11:55,704 --> 00:12:00,506
Danny, someday you'll meet a girl
who can tolerate you in large doses
224
00:12:00,575 --> 00:12:03,009
and you'll begin
to mature, like me.
225
00:12:03,078 --> 00:12:05,746
True love can work miracles.
226
00:12:07,549 --> 00:12:09,716
Oh, he's mature, all right.
227
00:12:09,785 --> 00:12:11,718
And dull.
228
00:12:17,192 --> 00:12:18,258
(EXHALES)
229
00:12:18,326 --> 00:12:19,704
Nothing like a lecture
230
00:12:19,728 --> 00:12:21,672
to get the old adrenaline
going. Absolutely.
231
00:12:21,696 --> 00:12:23,108
Well, why don't we have a
cup of coffee and discuss it?
232
00:12:23,132 --> 00:12:24,430
Oh, I really can't.
233
00:12:24,499 --> 00:12:25,499
You can't?
234
00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:27,333
No, uh, the market
closes at 10:00
235
00:12:27,402 --> 00:12:29,881
and I've got to be there. And I
have to hurry. I'll see you tomorrow.
236
00:12:29,905 --> 00:12:31,404
Good night, Keith.
237
00:12:32,908 --> 00:12:35,708
Hey, Partridge, how's it going?
238
00:12:35,778 --> 00:12:37,844
Just great.
239
00:12:37,913 --> 00:12:41,092
I see you've made the most out
of our trade for the football seats.
240
00:12:41,116 --> 00:12:42,582
Oh, you noticed, huh?
241
00:12:42,651 --> 00:12:45,018
The whole class has.
242
00:12:45,087 --> 00:12:48,588
Yeah, well, I guess it is kind of
hard to hide a relationship like ours.
243
00:12:48,657 --> 00:12:50,401
That's quite a
trick for a freshman.
244
00:12:50,425 --> 00:12:51,557
Hmm?
245
00:12:51,626 --> 00:12:53,393
You fox!
246
00:12:53,461 --> 00:12:57,021
You're the only guy I know that's
involved with a married woman.
247
00:13:03,555 --> 00:13:07,156
What happened? You look
like you lost your best friend.
248
00:13:07,225 --> 00:13:08,458
(SIGHS)
249
00:13:08,527 --> 00:13:10,994
I don't know how
anybody can be so dumb.
250
00:13:12,297 --> 00:13:14,264
Dory's married.
251
00:13:14,332 --> 00:13:17,133
Married? But...
252
00:13:17,202 --> 00:13:19,080
But you had a date
with her tonight.
253
00:13:19,104 --> 00:13:20,782
Are you sure she's married?
254
00:13:20,806 --> 00:13:23,473
(SIGHS) With a capital "M."
255
00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:26,576
When Feder told me, I felt
like crawling underneath a rug.
256
00:13:26,645 --> 00:13:29,646
Wouldn't you know it,
the one time I fall in love.
257
00:13:29,715 --> 00:13:31,793
Have you talked to her about it?
258
00:13:31,817 --> 00:13:33,450
No.
259
00:13:33,519 --> 00:13:35,919
But don't you
think you ought to?
260
00:13:35,987 --> 00:13:39,333
I mean, I can't understand
why she'd mislead you like that.
261
00:13:39,357 --> 00:13:41,525
I can't either.
262
00:13:41,593 --> 00:13:43,273
Maybe she's not
happy with her husband.
263
00:13:44,930 --> 00:13:47,130
Keith,
264
00:13:47,198 --> 00:13:50,734
is it possible you could have been
wrong about Dory's feelings all this time?
265
00:13:50,803 --> 00:13:56,072
Oh, Mom. If there's one thing
I'm experienced in, it's girls.
266
00:13:56,141 --> 00:13:59,576
I wish you were right, but I can
see it in her eyes, in her gestures.
267
00:13:59,645 --> 00:14:00,777
She's in deep.
268
00:14:02,815 --> 00:14:05,782
Well, I guess there's
only one thing left to do.
269
00:14:05,851 --> 00:14:08,129
You'll have to break it
off as quickly as possible.
270
00:14:08,153 --> 00:14:09,764
Don't let it go any further.
271
00:14:09,788 --> 00:14:12,308
I know. It's not
gonna be easy though.
272
00:14:13,992 --> 00:14:18,094
(SIGHS) She must be awfully
involved to take a chance like this.
273
00:14:18,163 --> 00:14:20,203
I'm gonna have to
let her down gently.
274
00:14:20,833 --> 00:14:23,132
Dory. Oh, hi, Keith.
275
00:14:23,201 --> 00:14:24,946
Hi, could we talk for a minute?
276
00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:27,649
Oh, but only for a minute. I've
got a history class and I'm late for it.
277
00:14:27,673 --> 00:14:29,739
Yeah, uh...
278
00:14:29,808 --> 00:14:32,219
Look, I did a lot of thinking
about the lecture last night.
279
00:14:32,243 --> 00:14:35,345
So did I, and I think it's gonna
work in beautifully with our project.
280
00:14:35,413 --> 00:14:37,258
Well, I wasn't exactly
talking about the project.
281
00:14:37,282 --> 00:14:39,716
I was thinking more about us.
282
00:14:42,053 --> 00:14:44,265
Dory, I just don't think
it's gonna work out.
283
00:14:44,289 --> 00:14:46,289
Things are going so well, Keith.
284
00:14:46,358 --> 00:14:49,671
I know, but I just... I think we
should call it off while we still can.
285
00:14:49,695 --> 00:14:51,761
You're acting like a little boy.
286
00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:53,396
I am?
287
00:14:53,465 --> 00:14:55,677
Yes, when things get difficult
right in the middle of something
288
00:14:55,701 --> 00:14:58,101
absolutely beautiful,
you're ready to quit.
289
00:14:58,169 --> 00:14:59,481
Yeah, but I... Look,
290
00:14:59,505 --> 00:15:01,082
I don't have time
to discuss it now.
291
00:15:01,106 --> 00:15:04,741
I'll be over tonight as usual, and
we can work it out then. Goodbye.
292
00:15:04,810 --> 00:15:06,554
It's worse than I figured.
293
00:15:06,578 --> 00:15:08,122
Didn't you
straighten things out?
294
00:15:08,146 --> 00:15:09,524
She won't even talk about it.
295
00:15:09,548 --> 00:15:11,258
I tried to let her
down gently, right?
296
00:15:11,282 --> 00:15:12,360
Right. And, bam,
297
00:15:12,384 --> 00:15:13,828
she blasts me right
between the eyes.
298
00:15:13,852 --> 00:15:15,572
She practically
called me a chicken.
299
00:15:15,621 --> 00:15:18,299
Girls have called you a lot of
names, but never "chicken."
300
00:15:18,323 --> 00:15:20,156
She's crazy about me.
301
00:15:20,225 --> 00:15:23,026
She won't even listen to reason.
302
00:15:23,094 --> 00:15:25,261
I knew I should have
stuck with number four.
303
00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:26,530
Number four?
304
00:15:26,598 --> 00:15:28,965
Oh, it's nothing.
305
00:15:29,034 --> 00:15:31,479
What if she ditches
her husband for me?
306
00:15:31,503 --> 00:15:34,404
You don't really
think she'd do that?
307
00:15:34,472 --> 00:15:37,440
Why couldn't I have
been born ugly, like Danny.
308
00:15:38,476 --> 00:15:40,810
Now, wait a minute.
309
00:15:40,879 --> 00:15:42,712
We were just passing by.
310
00:15:45,216 --> 00:15:46,516
(DOORBELL RINGS)
311
00:15:46,585 --> 00:15:48,305
It's okay, honey. I'll get it.
312
00:15:49,354 --> 00:15:50,765
Oh, hi, Mrs. Partridge. Hi.
313
00:15:50,789 --> 00:15:52,321
Keith ready to study?
314
00:15:52,390 --> 00:15:53,801
I just sent him on an errand.
He'll be back in a few minutes.
315
00:15:53,825 --> 00:15:55,625
Oh, I guess I am
a little bit early.
316
00:15:55,694 --> 00:15:57,271
Hi, Dory. Oh, hi.
317
00:15:57,295 --> 00:15:58,506
Why don't you just
sit down and wait?
318
00:15:58,530 --> 00:16:00,374
I was about to give Danny
a letter to mail for me.
319
00:16:00,398 --> 00:16:01,698
DORY: Sure.
320
00:16:12,177 --> 00:16:14,678
It'd help if you
put a letter inside.
321
00:16:14,746 --> 00:16:16,446
Come on.
322
00:16:16,514 --> 00:16:18,615
But...
323
00:16:18,684 --> 00:16:21,796
Laurie, would you do me a favor
and run Danny down to the post office?
324
00:16:21,820 --> 00:16:23,264
Post office? But
there's no letter.
325
00:16:23,288 --> 00:16:25,266
You'd better hurry, it
closes in 10 minutes.
326
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:26,990
LAURIE: Okay.
327
00:16:27,059 --> 00:16:28,436
On your way back, would
you stop at the market
328
00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:30,038
and pick up some, uh, parsley?
329
00:16:30,062 --> 00:16:31,222
Mmm-hmm.
330
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:38,902
Well, I guess that leaves just you
and me. Would you like some coffee?
331
00:16:38,971 --> 00:16:41,537
No, no, thank
you, Mrs. Partridge.
332
00:16:41,607 --> 00:16:43,250
Well, since it's
just the two of us
333
00:16:43,274 --> 00:16:45,453
it might be a good time
for us to have a little talk.
334
00:16:45,477 --> 00:16:47,343
Talk?
335
00:16:47,412 --> 00:16:49,523
Being Keith's mother,
he hasn't always
336
00:16:49,547 --> 00:16:52,226
liked me getting involved
in his problems, but...
337
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:55,262
Well, sometimes, I feel we
get to a point where I have to,
338
00:16:55,286 --> 00:16:57,298
and I guess we're at that point.
339
00:16:57,322 --> 00:16:59,055
We are?
340
00:16:59,124 --> 00:17:03,526
I'm sure you realize that
marriage is a very serious business
341
00:17:03,595 --> 00:17:06,997
and getting involved with Keith
wouldn't be good for either one of you.
342
00:17:07,065 --> 00:17:08,810
If you are in love with him...
343
00:17:08,834 --> 00:17:11,300
Me? In love with Keith?
344
00:17:12,671 --> 00:17:14,911
You mean you're
not in love with him?
345
00:17:15,741 --> 00:17:19,575
Mrs. Partridge, I am
very much in love,
346
00:17:19,645 --> 00:17:21,878
but with my husband.
347
00:17:21,947 --> 00:17:24,425
Keith and I are friends.
We're just friends.
348
00:17:24,449 --> 00:17:27,483
Why didn't you tell
him you were married?
349
00:17:27,552 --> 00:17:29,719
Well, I just assumed
everyone knew.
350
00:17:29,788 --> 00:17:31,666
Everyone knows in
all my other classes.
351
00:17:31,690 --> 00:17:34,602
I had no idea what was
going on in Keith's mind.
352
00:17:34,626 --> 00:17:36,960
The only involvement
I have with Keith is
353
00:17:37,029 --> 00:17:39,529
with our sociology project.
354
00:17:39,597 --> 00:17:43,299
You mean, this whole thing
was built up in Keith's head.
355
00:17:43,368 --> 00:17:46,269
I'm afraid so, Mrs.
Partridge. But I...
356
00:17:46,337 --> 00:17:48,738
I can see how he misunderstood.
357
00:17:48,807 --> 00:17:51,574
Well, it's not your fault.
358
00:17:51,643 --> 00:17:54,978
But how do we tell him
without hurting his feelings?
359
00:17:55,047 --> 00:17:57,091
If I tell him, he'll
know I talked to you
360
00:17:57,115 --> 00:17:59,355
and he won't be
able to face you.
361
00:17:59,384 --> 00:18:02,329
I can't very well go to him and say,
"Keith, you've made a fool of yourself
362
00:18:02,353 --> 00:18:05,588
"ever since we've met." That
would make him feel worse.
363
00:18:07,358 --> 00:18:11,161
Mom, Dory just called and invited me
over for dinner. What am I gonna do?
364
00:18:11,229 --> 00:18:14,030
Well, mind your manners
and eat all your vegetables.
365
00:18:14,099 --> 00:18:16,978
Mom, you don't understand. She
probably wants me to confront her husband.
366
00:18:17,002 --> 00:18:19,113
Or even worse, she might have
already told her husband about you
367
00:18:19,137 --> 00:18:21,082
and there isn't going
to be any dinner.
368
00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:22,750
LAURIE: Keith, you better
call her back and cancel.
369
00:18:22,774 --> 00:18:23,985
Right. No.
370
00:18:24,009 --> 00:18:25,374
Why not?
371
00:18:25,443 --> 00:18:27,755
Look, this may be the way to
straighten this whole thing out.
372
00:18:27,779 --> 00:18:30,680
Yeah. And if you don't
show, it'll look bad.
373
00:18:30,749 --> 00:18:34,295
Besides, if he wants, he can always
come over here and beat you up.
374
00:18:34,319 --> 00:18:38,188
Keith, there is a possibility that
they're just asking you over for dinner.
375
00:18:38,256 --> 00:18:41,569
Yeah, but there's a better possibility
he'll grind me into a Swedish meatball.
376
00:18:41,593 --> 00:18:45,028
Yeah? Well, I wouldn't let him take
advantage of your situation like that.
377
00:18:45,097 --> 00:18:46,395
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
378
00:18:46,464 --> 00:18:48,564
Just a minute,
somebody's at the door.
379
00:18:52,904 --> 00:18:54,604
Hi, I'm Keith Partridge.
380
00:18:54,672 --> 00:18:57,819
So, I finally get to see what you
look like. I'm Glenn, Dory's husband.
381
00:18:57,843 --> 00:19:00,843
Come on in, will you? I
got somebody on the phone.
382
00:19:03,548 --> 00:19:06,850
Look, Herb, if I was you,
I'd push that guy's face in.
383
00:19:06,918 --> 00:19:08,118
You're right!
384
00:19:10,088 --> 00:19:12,822
Ah, sorry about that,
but you know how it is.
385
00:19:12,891 --> 00:19:15,502
Some guys, they really
make you wanna...
386
00:19:15,526 --> 00:19:17,360
I was afraid of that.
387
00:19:17,428 --> 00:19:19,173
Look, Dory went out to the
market to get some cheese,
388
00:19:19,197 --> 00:19:21,142
so it's just you and
me till she gets back.
389
00:19:21,166 --> 00:19:24,045
Terrific. Now,
come on. Sit down.
390
00:19:24,069 --> 00:19:25,069
Okay.
391
00:19:27,038 --> 00:19:29,650
So, how do you like
my wife as a partner?
392
00:19:29,674 --> 00:19:30,674
Huh?
393
00:19:30,742 --> 00:19:33,243
The sociology project.
394
00:19:33,311 --> 00:19:35,478
Oh, well, uh,
395
00:19:35,546 --> 00:19:37,258
Dory's a very hard worker
396
00:19:37,282 --> 00:19:39,026
and I'm a firm
believer in hard work.
397
00:19:39,050 --> 00:19:41,217
As far as studies
are concerned, that is.
398
00:19:41,286 --> 00:19:43,097
I guess you'd call
me a bookworm.
399
00:19:43,121 --> 00:19:45,466
(EXCLAIMS) You don't
look like a bookworm.
400
00:19:45,490 --> 00:19:47,090
Oh, but I am.
401
00:19:47,159 --> 00:19:49,092
I'm a worm through and through.
402
00:19:49,161 --> 00:19:51,405
Sometimes I even wake up
at dawn to read encyclopedias.
403
00:19:51,429 --> 00:19:53,062
I love to learn.
404
00:19:53,131 --> 00:19:57,600
Well, from what I've heard, it's
more like you've learned to love.
405
00:19:57,669 --> 00:20:00,904
I hear you got quite a
reputation with the girls.
406
00:20:00,972 --> 00:20:03,751
Reputation? Must be
some other Keith Partridge.
407
00:20:03,775 --> 00:20:06,075
No, no. You're the one.
408
00:20:09,447 --> 00:20:11,447
Sir, I admit I have
a reputation, but
409
00:20:11,516 --> 00:20:13,416
a reputation is all it is.
410
00:20:13,484 --> 00:20:15,885
It's just sometimes
not my fault.
411
00:20:15,954 --> 00:20:17,194
What's not your fault?
412
00:20:17,222 --> 00:20:22,325
Well, sometimes the other
person gets involved and...
413
00:20:22,393 --> 00:20:26,095
You wanna get out, even
though you're not really in.
414
00:20:26,164 --> 00:20:29,432
That other person just
doesn't understand that.
415
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:30,934
So, it's just not
that easy to...
416
00:20:31,002 --> 00:20:33,970
Hey, look. You like sports?
417
00:20:34,039 --> 00:20:35,705
Sports, yeah, I like sports.
418
00:20:35,773 --> 00:20:39,133
Good. Let's talk about
tennis. It's a lot simpler.
419
00:20:42,047 --> 00:20:43,446
Oh, hi, Keith.
420
00:20:43,514 --> 00:20:45,326
How are you two getting along?
421
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:47,116
I'm not sure.
422
00:20:47,185 --> 00:20:49,025
Hello. Hi.
423
00:20:50,021 --> 00:20:51,620
Well, let's eat.
424
00:20:51,689 --> 00:20:52,956
Great.
425
00:20:55,393 --> 00:20:57,660
There we go. Thank you.
426
00:20:58,864 --> 00:21:00,041
Oh, looks good.
427
00:21:00,065 --> 00:21:01,142
Oh, why, thank you.
428
00:21:01,166 --> 00:21:02,966
Dory's a great cook.
429
00:21:03,034 --> 00:21:04,100
Sit down, Keith.
430
00:21:04,169 --> 00:21:06,002
Thank you.
431
00:21:06,071 --> 00:21:08,950
From the moment I tasted her spaghetti,
I knew we were destined to get married.
432
00:21:08,974 --> 00:21:11,185
No, we were
destined to be married
433
00:21:11,209 --> 00:21:15,979
from the moment I changed the place cards
at that party so I could sit next to you.
434
00:21:16,047 --> 00:21:17,892
Romance is like that, I guess.
435
00:21:17,916 --> 00:21:20,156
Are you gonna
get married, Keith?
436
00:21:20,185 --> 00:21:23,052
Oh, uh... someday,
I suppose, yeah.
437
00:21:23,121 --> 00:21:25,955
Well, I highly recommend it.
438
00:21:29,594 --> 00:21:31,194
I can see that.
439
00:21:31,263 --> 00:21:32,728
The show is over.
440
00:21:32,797 --> 00:21:35,831
Who cares about the show?
We wanna see Keith beat up.
441
00:21:35,901 --> 00:21:38,779
Nothing is going to
happen to Keith. Off to bed.
442
00:21:38,803 --> 00:21:40,447
You'll understand
when you're my age.
443
00:21:40,471 --> 00:21:43,072
Although I'm my age,
and I don't understand it.
444
00:21:43,141 --> 00:21:44,941
(DOOR OPENING)
445
00:21:45,010 --> 00:21:47,377
Well, good evening.
446
00:21:47,445 --> 00:21:49,257
DANNY: So where's
your black eye?
447
00:21:49,281 --> 00:21:51,401
You even have your
Howdy Doody grin.
448
00:21:52,517 --> 00:21:54,083
How'd it go, honey?
449
00:21:54,152 --> 00:21:55,484
Smooth as silk.
450
00:21:55,553 --> 00:21:56,752
It did?
451
00:21:56,821 --> 00:21:58,332
You should've
seen the kid at work.
452
00:21:58,356 --> 00:21:59,700
Oh, they had a few problems,
453
00:21:59,724 --> 00:22:01,564
but I got them to talk it out
454
00:22:01,592 --> 00:22:04,238
and showed them that the
key to marriage is giving.
455
00:22:04,262 --> 00:22:05,406
I'm going to sleep.
456
00:22:05,430 --> 00:22:07,463
Me, too.
457
00:22:07,532 --> 00:22:11,567
Yeah, but in the end, I had to
sacrifice myself for what was best.
458
00:22:11,636 --> 00:22:15,338
I felt a little like Bogie
at the end of Casablanca.
459
00:22:15,407 --> 00:22:17,606
Well, good night.
460
00:22:19,344 --> 00:22:20,876
Hot stuff.
461
00:22:20,946 --> 00:22:22,912
Don't you want to hear the rest?
462
00:22:24,549 --> 00:22:26,127
That's the trouble with America.
463
00:22:26,151 --> 00:22:28,717
Nobody appreciates
simple eloquence.
464
00:22:28,786 --> 00:22:29,919
Mom, I was brilliant.
465
00:22:29,988 --> 00:22:32,688
Well, then you did
eat all your vegetables.
466
00:22:37,829 --> 00:22:39,595
(GUITAR PLAYING)
467
00:22:44,835 --> 00:22:48,137
? I'm not afraid of the dark
468
00:22:48,206 --> 00:22:51,807
? And I like to go
for rides in the park
469
00:22:51,876 --> 00:22:54,810
? I know I got a big start
470
00:22:54,879 --> 00:22:58,714
? 'Cause I've got
a secret in my heart
471
00:22:58,783 --> 00:23:02,218
? Since I got real big
472
00:23:02,287 --> 00:23:05,254
? I've learned
some important things
473
00:23:05,323 --> 00:23:09,058
? It doesn't matter
if you don't know how
474
00:23:09,126 --> 00:23:12,595
? You gotta keep pushing
that plow, and that's why
475
00:23:12,664 --> 00:23:15,998
? I'm not afraid of the dark
476
00:23:16,067 --> 00:23:19,635
? And I like to go
for rides in the park
477
00:23:19,704 --> 00:23:22,738
? I know I got a big start
478
00:23:22,807 --> 00:23:26,542
? 'Cause I've got
a secret in my heart
479
00:23:26,611 --> 00:23:29,111
(WHISTLING)
480
00:23:33,918 --> 00:23:37,220
? I'm not afraid of the dark
481
00:23:37,288 --> 00:23:40,723
? And I like to go
for rides in the park
482
00:23:40,791 --> 00:23:43,726
? I know I got a big start
483
00:23:43,794 --> 00:23:49,131
? 'Cause I've got a
secret in my heart ?
484
00:23:59,244 --> 00:24:01,188
LAURIE: Well, hi, Reuben.
What brings you here?
485
00:24:01,212 --> 00:24:02,289
I need to talk to your mother.
486
00:24:02,313 --> 00:24:03,857
What is it, Reuben?
487
00:24:03,881 --> 00:24:07,127
Shirley, I have found out
something, and it is a bombshell.
488
00:24:07,151 --> 00:24:08,751
What?
489
00:24:08,819 --> 00:24:12,421
Uh, this girl that Keith's been
seeing, this Dory what's-her-name.
490
00:24:12,490 --> 00:24:15,924
I just found out she's married.
491
00:24:15,993 --> 00:24:18,160
You don't say.
492
00:24:18,229 --> 00:24:22,498
I do say, Shirley, yes, and we
have to do something about this Dory.
493
00:24:22,567 --> 00:24:25,234
Reuben, did I hear
you mention Dory?
494
00:24:25,303 --> 00:24:28,937
Keith, get out
before it's too late.
495
00:24:29,006 --> 00:24:32,308
(SIGHS) Reuben,
it's already too late.
496
00:24:32,377 --> 00:24:33,976
Oh, no!
497
00:24:34,044 --> 00:24:36,579
Yeah, her husband came
after me with a shotgun.
498
00:24:36,648 --> 00:24:39,214
A shotgun? What happened?
499
00:24:40,485 --> 00:24:42,050
He killed me.
500
00:24:42,910 --> 00:25:43,530
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