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1
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:12,010
? Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'
2
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:17,115
? Come on, get happy
3
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:21,352
? A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
4
00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:23,922
? We'll make you happy
5
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:29,261
? We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together
6
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:32,597
? And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on
7
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,868
? Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together
8
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:39,137
? We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song
9
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,524
? Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'
10
00:00:43,427 --> 00:00:47,579
? Come on, get happy
11
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:50,966
? A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
12
00:00:51,902 --> 00:00:54,402
? We'll make you happy
13
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,856
? We'll make you happy
14
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:02,611
? We'll make you happy ?
15
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:13,683
Oh, Rueben, this is the best
idea you've ever come up with.
16
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,474
Cruising to Mazatlan
in the lap of luxury.
17
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,388
And we're making
a nice buck, too.
18
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,923
It doesn't matter
if we're performing,
19
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,858
it's more like a
vacation than work.
20
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:24,261
You know, they have three
pools on board this ship.
21
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,828
Lot of girls can hang
around three pools.
22
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:28,153
Keith, you have
a one-track mind.
23
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:30,422
I don't think about
pools that much.
24
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:38,363
Be sure to check all the
arrangements for tonight's party.
25
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,809
Excuse me? Yes.
26
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,379
Wasn't that girl in the
green dress Laurie Partridge?
27
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,036
Yes, I believe it was.
28
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,671
Wow! She's even
prettier in person.
29
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,251
You know, I really
ought to get to know her.
30
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,652
We really have a lot in common.
31
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,187
Oh? Well,
32
00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:53,411
now she and I are
both in the same boat.
33
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,982
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
34
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:04,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
35
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,569
I never dreamed they'd
have so many stores on a ship.
36
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,876
I'm glad they do. I forgot
to bring a few things.
37
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,678
SHIRLEY: Looks like you
forgot to bring everything.
38
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,147
Good night, honey.
Have a good night's sleep.
39
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,437
Good night, Mom.
40
00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:31,416
Ah, a damsel in distress.
May I be of some service?
41
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,296
Oh, why, yes. Thank you.
42
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,920
My name is Wainwright,
Howard Wainwright, III.
43
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,067
I'm Laurie Partridge.
44
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:38,256
It's my pleasure.
45
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,192
I would kiss your hand,
but my arms are full.
46
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,495
Well, that's okay.
47
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,930
Oh. Uh, if you ever
need me for anything,
48
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,800
I'm staying right
across the hall in the...
49
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,502
The Ambassador suite.
50
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,170
Oh? As you know,
51
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:55,607
that suite is reserved for
dignitaries, heads of state, that ilk.
52
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,988
You look awfully
young to be a dignitary.
53
00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,123
Oh, I'm not. It's
just that I'm an heir.
54
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,481
Oh? To $100 million.
55
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:03,648
Oh.
56
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,717
It's silly, but that
impresses some people.
57
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,630
Well, thanks for the help.
58
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:10,222
Goodnight. Oh, uh, yes.
59
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,823
Goodnight.
60
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,326
I'd kiss your hand,
but your arms are full.
61
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,494
(GIGGLES)
62
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,567
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
63
00:03:23,137 --> 00:03:25,103
Well, this is it.
64
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,139
The Ambassador suite.
65
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,252
Yes, that's what the sign says.
66
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:30,276
Yes.
67
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:35,180
Oh, I forgot my key.
68
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,849
Ah! Well, you're lucky
you forgot to lock it.
69
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,918
Good night. Right, good night.
70
00:03:44,158 --> 00:03:45,323
(GASPS)
71
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,560
I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
Mr. Ambassador.
72
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,195
I've made a terrible mistake.
73
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:53,932
These doors, they...
They all look the same.
74
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,935
Well, goodnight, Your Highness.
75
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:59,771
And have many
happy foreign affairs.
76
00:04:38,161 --> 00:04:41,262
Ah, Laurie, what a
pleasant surprise!
77
00:04:41,331 --> 00:04:43,571
At last, our hands aren't full.
78
00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:45,433
Yes. Hi, um...
79
00:04:48,338 --> 00:04:49,338
Uh...
80
00:04:50,073 --> 00:04:53,742
Mom, this is, uh... Howard.
81
00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:56,043
Howard. Howard Wainwright, III.
82
00:04:56,112 --> 00:04:57,724
It's an honor to
meet you, madam.
83
00:04:57,748 --> 00:04:58,748
Thank you.
84
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:02,370
And this is my brother Keith.
85
00:05:05,455 --> 00:05:07,655
We're just gonna
shake hands, aren't we?
86
00:05:07,858 --> 00:05:08,858
Of course.
87
00:05:08,925 --> 00:05:10,558
I never kiss rough knuckles.
88
00:05:12,262 --> 00:05:14,396
Howard, won't you sit down?
89
00:05:14,464 --> 00:05:15,764
Oh, thank you.
90
00:05:19,035 --> 00:05:20,301
What do you do, Howard?
91
00:05:20,370 --> 00:05:23,872
Oh, I see the world mostly.
92
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,907
You mean, you don't work?
93
00:05:25,975 --> 00:05:28,020
Oh, no, I'm much
too rich for that.
94
00:05:28,044 --> 00:05:30,244
My father owns Beirut.
95
00:05:32,015 --> 00:05:34,095
A little millionaire humor.
96
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,765
Uh, no. When you're
heir to $100 million,
97
00:05:38,789 --> 00:05:41,029
it stifles the
desire to learn a...
98
00:05:41,958 --> 00:05:44,559
Learn a trade.
99
00:05:44,628 --> 00:05:46,773
I'm quite a good
taxidermist, though.
100
00:05:46,797 --> 00:05:47,973
I taught myself.
101
00:05:47,997 --> 00:05:49,664
Oh, really?
102
00:05:49,733 --> 00:05:53,213
I have a couple of
brothers you could stuff.
103
00:05:55,539 --> 00:05:58,440
Laurie, there's something
I wanted to ask you.
104
00:05:58,508 --> 00:06:01,521
Oh, sure. Keith, could you
toss me the suntan lotion?
105
00:06:01,545 --> 00:06:02,785
Oh, I'll get it.
106
00:06:04,848 --> 00:06:07,615
Ah! Catch.
107
00:06:07,684 --> 00:06:08,983
Thank you. Oh!
108
00:06:09,052 --> 00:06:10,752
Ooh! I'm sorry.
109
00:06:10,821 --> 00:06:12,720
Oh, I'm so stupid.
110
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,734
That's okay. I should have
told you to put the top on first.
111
00:06:14,758 --> 00:06:17,158
No, no, it's my...
Let me help you.
112
00:06:19,329 --> 00:06:21,395
I'm sorry, I touched
your stomach.
113
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:23,585
I'm not that kind of person.
114
00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:25,177
Somehow, I believe that.
115
00:06:25,201 --> 00:06:26,813
No, no, you don't understand.
116
00:06:26,837 --> 00:06:28,948
I mean, I always put the
top back on my toothpaste.
117
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,817
I mean... Oh, I wouldn't blame
you if you wouldn't go out with me.
118
00:06:30,841 --> 00:06:33,052
I mean, I didn't ask you yet, but
I was about to ask you to dinner.
119
00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:34,987
But since I won't ask you...
120
00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:36,656
Oh, forget it, I didn't ask.
121
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,825
I'd be happy to go
out to dinner with you.
122
00:06:38,849 --> 00:06:40,526
You will? You will?
123
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:42,550
Sure. Well, I...
124
00:06:43,453 --> 00:06:44,819
That's cheeky.
125
00:06:45,355 --> 00:06:46,355
Cheeky?
126
00:06:48,091 --> 00:06:51,158
See you around
eight-ish. Bye-bye.
127
00:06:53,697 --> 00:06:56,141
Mom, I can't believe you're
letting Laurie go out with that guy.
128
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:58,325
You never like any of
the boys I go out with,
129
00:06:58,368 --> 00:07:00,602
but this time I
want you to butt out.
130
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,337
Yeah, but... Keith, butt out!
131
00:07:03,406 --> 00:07:05,072
Okay, all right.
132
00:07:05,141 --> 00:07:07,653
But when you find out he is a sex
maniac, don't come to me for help.
133
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,377
I wouldn't think of it.
134
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:16,925
Here they come.
135
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:19,932
Oh, good evening.
Two for dinner?
136
00:07:19,956 --> 00:07:23,625
Yes, thank you. You
do have a reservation?
137
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,528
(STAMMERING) Reserva... Well...
138
00:07:26,596 --> 00:07:27,940
Will you excuse me
for a minute? Please.
139
00:07:27,964 --> 00:07:29,364
Of course. Thank you.
140
00:07:29,432 --> 00:07:30,432
Could I?
141
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:37,572
It... It slipped my mind
about the reservation, but...
142
00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:40,207
Do you know who
that girl I'm with is?
143
00:07:41,845 --> 00:07:43,110
No.
144
00:07:43,179 --> 00:07:44,612
She's Laurie Partridge.
145
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,714
Oh, of the Partridge Family?
146
00:07:46,783 --> 00:07:49,216
Yes, the family is
performing on this ship.
147
00:07:49,285 --> 00:07:50,952
I know.
148
00:07:51,021 --> 00:07:53,922
She's a very big star. It seems
like you could find a table for her.
149
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:55,657
Of course.
150
00:08:00,030 --> 00:08:01,395
Hi, Keith. Danny.
151
00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:05,066
Did you hear that?
152
00:08:05,134 --> 00:08:06,979
Of course, I heard it. I
was right here, wasn't I?
153
00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:08,447
She said, "Hi, Keith. Danny."
154
00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:10,772
No, before that. You're
right about that guy.
155
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,080
He's just out to use her.
156
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:18,180
Thank you.
157
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,661
Laurie, do you believe
in the games of romance?
158
00:08:35,198 --> 00:08:36,297
Excuse me?
159
00:08:39,302 --> 00:08:40,735
She loves me,
160
00:08:41,838 --> 00:08:43,104
she loves me not.
161
00:08:44,641 --> 00:08:48,676
She loves me, she loves me not.
162
00:08:50,246 --> 00:08:52,814
She loves me, she...
163
00:08:56,519 --> 00:08:59,553
Oh, waiter, could you bring
me another daisy, please?
164
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,930
(LAUGHING)
165
00:09:08,999 --> 00:09:11,010
And then when he
went to taste his wine,
166
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:15,336
he missed his mouth, and it
poured down the front of his tuxedo.
167
00:09:15,404 --> 00:09:18,117
Well, it sounds like you had
an entertaining evening, anyway.
168
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,241
Oh, I really did.
169
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,909
Except for Keith and Danny.
170
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,111
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
171
00:09:23,179 --> 00:09:24,179
Come in.
172
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,228
Well, I'm glad you're both here.
173
00:09:29,252 --> 00:09:31,819
I wanna talk to you
about spying on Laurie.
174
00:09:31,888 --> 00:09:34,856
Well, don't get mad till you
hear what we have to say.
175
00:09:34,924 --> 00:09:37,692
There's something
phony about that guy.
176
00:09:37,761 --> 00:09:39,005
He got a table at the restaurant
177
00:09:39,029 --> 00:09:40,940
by throwing Laurie's
name around.
178
00:09:40,964 --> 00:09:43,943
If he is so important, why didn't
he throw his own name around?
179
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:47,301
He used my name because he
didn't want people to know who he was.
180
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:49,570
He wanted to avoid
publicity and gossip.
181
00:09:50,573 --> 00:09:52,206
Oh.
182
00:09:52,275 --> 00:09:55,710
Now, I want you both to
hear me, and hear me clear.
183
00:09:55,779 --> 00:09:58,746
You are to leave Laurie and
Howard alone, understood?
184
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:00,682
No more spying.
185
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:02,728
I don't care what
Mom and Laurie say,
186
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:05,753
I still think there is something
funny about that Howard guy.
187
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:06,988
Me, too.
188
00:10:07,057 --> 00:10:09,791
Yesterday, he was wearing a
monogrammed handkerchief.
189
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,092
So?
190
00:10:11,161 --> 00:10:13,695
The initials on it were H.K.
191
00:10:13,763 --> 00:10:15,963
You don't spell
Wainwright with a "K".
192
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,166
Notice anything?
193
00:10:18,234 --> 00:10:19,667
You wanna shake hands?
194
00:10:19,736 --> 00:10:21,435
No, the bracelet.
195
00:10:21,504 --> 00:10:22,737
Howard gave it to me.
196
00:10:22,806 --> 00:10:25,606
You're kidding.
That looks expensive.
197
00:10:25,675 --> 00:10:28,342
Fourteenth century Madagascar.
198
00:10:28,411 --> 00:10:30,851
Okay, so he gave you a
bracelet. What's in it for him?
199
00:10:31,147 --> 00:10:32,413
Nothing.
200
00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:35,783
Why won't you believe that
he's just a very nice guy?
201
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:38,652
Nobody is that nice.
202
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,988
Keith, are you going to
the costume party tonight?
203
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:42,223
Yeah.
204
00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:44,203
Why don't you go
disguised as a dummy?
205
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,794
That way you can
go just as you are.
206
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,809
There goes your "He's only
pretending to be rich" theory.
207
00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:52,066
I know, I still think
there's something funny
208
00:10:52,135 --> 00:10:53,612
about that guy. I just
don't know what it is.
209
00:10:53,636 --> 00:10:54,836
Oh, Captain, there you are.
210
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,344
I've been looking
all over for you.
211
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,706
Well, what can I do
for you, Mrs. Millstead?
212
00:10:58,775 --> 00:11:01,308
Well, last night
I lost a bracelet.
213
00:11:01,377 --> 00:11:05,146
I was wearing it, and
suddenly it was gone.
214
00:11:05,215 --> 00:11:08,415
I really must find it.
It's very expensive.
215
00:11:08,484 --> 00:11:10,351
Well, don't panic, my dear.
216
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:11,864
Lets' go to the purser's
office, and we'll file a report.
217
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:13,921
Oh, I think that's exactly
what we should do.
218
00:11:15,024 --> 00:11:17,558
It's all clear to me now.
219
00:11:17,627 --> 00:11:19,105
It's just like in that movie
220
00:11:19,129 --> 00:11:21,306
with Humphrey
Bogart and Turhan Bey.
221
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:22,930
What are you talking about?
222
00:11:22,966 --> 00:11:24,844
Humphrey Bogart
would steal jewels,
223
00:11:24,868 --> 00:11:27,913
and then give them to women
to carry it through customs.
224
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:31,038
Then he'd steal
them back, it all fits.
225
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,941
Of course. Howard is an
international jewel thief,
226
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:35,476
and Laurie is his stooge.
227
00:11:52,762 --> 00:11:54,562
Mr. Kincaid.
228
00:11:58,668 --> 00:12:01,168
Okay, why the
clandestine meeting?
229
00:12:01,237 --> 00:12:03,270
Shh, not so loud.
230
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:06,006
Not so loud? Who's
gonna hear us, the anchor?
231
00:12:06,075 --> 00:12:09,544
We're meeting here because
what we have to say is top secret.
232
00:12:09,612 --> 00:12:11,757
Rueben, you're not gonna
believe this, but we have proof.
233
00:12:11,781 --> 00:12:13,626
You know that guy
Laurie's been going out with?
234
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,950
The guy that walks
like a dignified duck?
235
00:12:16,018 --> 00:12:19,487
Yeah. Well, that "duck" is
an international jewel thief.
236
00:12:19,556 --> 00:12:23,224
This morning, he gave Laurie
a very, very expensive bracelet.
237
00:12:23,292 --> 00:12:26,627
Last night, a very, very
expensive bracelet was stolen.
238
00:12:26,696 --> 00:12:29,096
The same, very, very
expensive bracelet.
239
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:31,265
Are you sure?
240
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,145
Very, very sure. We
overheard the woman
241
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,469
reporting it to the Captain.
242
00:12:35,137 --> 00:12:37,271
Oh, my gosh!
243
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:41,275
This is just like that movie with
Humphrey Bogart and Turhan Bey.
244
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,888
We've got to report
this to the Captain.
245
00:12:42,912 --> 00:12:44,178
No, no, we can't.
246
00:12:44,247 --> 00:12:46,191
You see, Laurie is in
possession of the stolen bracelet.
247
00:12:46,215 --> 00:12:47,560
It'll look like
she was in on it.
248
00:12:47,584 --> 00:12:49,183
DANNY: It's her word
against Howard's.
249
00:12:50,453 --> 00:12:52,587
Besides, she's got the goods.
250
00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:54,756
We can't sit around
and do nothing.
251
00:12:54,824 --> 00:12:56,824
We have a plan.
252
00:12:56,893 --> 00:12:59,705
What if we were to slip the bracelet
back into the woman's purse?
253
00:12:59,729 --> 00:13:01,874
She'll just think
she misplaced it.
254
00:13:01,898 --> 00:13:04,738
Even if that worked, we
can't just let the thief go.
255
00:13:04,768 --> 00:13:06,712
Don't worry, he'll strike again.
256
00:13:06,736 --> 00:13:08,168
His type always does.
257
00:13:08,237 --> 00:13:09,915
Only, we'll be watching
him like a hawk,
258
00:13:09,939 --> 00:13:11,450
and we'll catch him in the act.
259
00:13:11,474 --> 00:13:15,877
There's no place for thieves
and robbers in our society.
260
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:18,979
Okay, but how do we get
the bracelet away from Laurie?
261
00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:20,782
We steal it.
262
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,324
Laurie?
263
00:13:30,927 --> 00:13:32,427
Oh, hi, Mom.
264
00:13:32,495 --> 00:13:34,907
I wasn't sure if it was
you with that pointed hat.
265
00:13:34,931 --> 00:13:37,732
Thanks a lot. I was just
on my way to meet Howard.
266
00:13:37,801 --> 00:13:40,178
I must say, you make
a very becoming witch.
267
00:13:40,202 --> 00:13:41,346
Where's your broom?
268
00:13:41,370 --> 00:13:43,210
Keith's brushing
his teeth with it.
269
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,573
Still mad at him, huh?
270
00:13:45,642 --> 00:13:48,008
This time I think
it's permanent.
271
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:49,354
Well, if he bothers you tonight,
272
00:13:49,378 --> 00:13:51,813
you can always stab
him with your hat.
273
00:13:51,881 --> 00:13:53,648
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
274
00:13:53,716 --> 00:13:55,596
See you at the party. Okay.
275
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,054
Hi.
276
00:14:00,122 --> 00:14:02,067
Well, I see you're going
to the masquerade party.
277
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,125
No, I'm going to a Keith
Partridge look-alike contest.
278
00:14:05,194 --> 00:14:06,661
(CHUCKLES)
279
00:14:06,729 --> 00:14:09,630
Say, you're not wearing
your bracelet, are you?
280
00:14:09,699 --> 00:14:13,400
No, it's a costume party,
we wear costume jewelry.
281
00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:15,002
Good again.
282
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,549
Well, I guess I'll
see you at the party.
283
00:14:16,573 --> 00:14:19,173
Not if I see you
first, dear brother.
284
00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:29,851
Ah, bingo!
285
00:14:29,919 --> 00:14:33,287
RUEBEN: Why me, why
does it always have to be me?
286
00:14:33,356 --> 00:14:35,723
KEITH: Because it was
the only costume that fit you.
287
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,225
Why do I always
have to wear the tutu?
288
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,495
How do you think I
feel as Peter Rabbit?
289
00:14:40,563 --> 00:14:41,996
Want an egg?
290
00:14:42,064 --> 00:14:43,631
No, thanks.
291
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,260
Did you have any trouble getting
the bracelet away from Laurie?
292
00:14:46,769 --> 00:14:48,435
Piece of cake.
293
00:14:48,505 --> 00:14:50,549
How are we gonna sneak
it back to that woman?
294
00:14:50,573 --> 00:14:53,774
It's simple. You've seen those
pick-pocket commercials on TV, haven't you?
295
00:14:53,843 --> 00:14:55,242
Yeah.
296
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,389
Well, we're gonna do the
same thing, only in reverse.
297
00:14:57,413 --> 00:14:58,546
You bump into the woman,
298
00:14:58,615 --> 00:15:00,781
I'll slip the bracelet
into the purse.
299
00:15:02,619 --> 00:15:03,918
Where's Danny?
300
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,227
DANNY: Over here.
301
00:15:10,059 --> 00:15:11,059
Where?
302
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,367
(METAL CLATTERING)
303
00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:14,328
Oh, great!
304
00:15:14,397 --> 00:15:16,642
Only Danny who
would come as garbage.
305
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,777
Hey, I got the information.
306
00:15:18,801 --> 00:15:21,536
Mrs. Millstead will be
disguised as a clown.
307
00:15:21,604 --> 00:15:23,215
Good work. Bad work.
308
00:15:23,239 --> 00:15:25,250
There must be a dozen
clowns running around this ship.
309
00:15:25,274 --> 00:15:27,386
Well, you guys start
bumping clowns.
310
00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:29,770
I'm gonna scout
around undercover.
311
00:15:32,782 --> 00:15:34,415
(GRUNTS) Excuse me.
312
00:15:37,887 --> 00:15:39,865
Hey, she's carrying a
purse. That must be her.
313
00:15:39,889 --> 00:15:40,889
Come on.
314
00:15:46,629 --> 00:15:48,429
Rueben.
315
00:15:48,497 --> 00:15:50,965
Keith, what are you doing?
316
00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:53,400
Uh, a little surprise
from the Easter bunny.
317
00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:55,536
Have an egg.
318
00:16:02,478 --> 00:16:03,478
There she is.
319
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,112
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
320
00:16:09,786 --> 00:16:10,786
(GRUNTS)
321
00:16:10,820 --> 00:16:12,587
I'm terribly sorry.
322
00:16:12,655 --> 00:16:13,955
It's quite all right.
323
00:16:14,023 --> 00:16:15,355
Oh, haven't we met before?
324
00:16:16,626 --> 00:16:17,792
I don't think so.
325
00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:20,360
Oh, maybe I'm confusing
you with someone else.
326
00:16:20,429 --> 00:16:21,740
(EXCLAIMS) Thief, thief!
327
00:16:21,764 --> 00:16:23,430
The bunny is a thief.
328
00:16:26,703 --> 00:16:29,604
(ALL ARGUING) Hold
it, hold it. Please, please!
329
00:16:29,672 --> 00:16:30,838
Please, hold it.
330
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,507
Now, we cannot
all speak at once.
331
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,387
I'll hear from the
bunny rabbit first.
332
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,478
Then the tutu, then
the garbage can.
333
00:16:38,881 --> 00:16:41,582
All right, first of
all I wasn't stealing.
334
00:16:41,651 --> 00:16:44,085
I was putting back
Mrs. Millstead's bracelet.
335
00:16:47,724 --> 00:16:49,056
That's my bracelet.
336
00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:51,692
I'm glad. It
certainly isn't mine.
337
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,607
It isn't? No, I found
mine this morning.
338
00:16:54,631 --> 00:16:57,932
And besides, mine
isn't costume jewelry.
339
00:16:58,001 --> 00:16:59,767
Excuse me, but I
wouldn't exactly call
340
00:16:59,836 --> 00:17:02,837
fourteenth century
Madagascar costume jewelry.
341
00:17:02,905 --> 00:17:06,841
Well, actually that is
twentieth century Japanese.
342
00:17:06,909 --> 00:17:10,144
We sell those at the
gift shop at $29.95.
343
00:17:12,081 --> 00:17:13,748
Captain, you must be mistaken.
344
00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:14,882
I'm afraid not.
345
00:17:16,919 --> 00:17:18,218
He lied to me.
346
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,465
Mmm-hmm. The
innocent always suffer.
347
00:17:20,489 --> 00:17:23,201
But, I don't want to be the
one to say, "I told you so."
348
00:17:23,225 --> 00:17:24,725
SHIRLEY: Keith!
349
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,527
Where is Howard?
350
00:17:26,595 --> 00:17:29,915
He's in his room changing,
he got a run in his leotard.
351
00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:33,801
Captain, would you call
Howard Wainwright, III, please?
352
00:17:33,870 --> 00:17:35,002
The Ambassador suite.
353
00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:38,183
I'm afraid there
must be a mistake.
354
00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:41,976
Uh, Ambassador
Salsado is staying there.
355
00:17:42,045 --> 00:17:44,712
Why, he lied to me
about everything.
356
00:17:44,781 --> 00:17:46,901
I think I better have a
little talk with Howard.
357
00:17:46,949 --> 00:17:50,350
Oh, Mom, please. That's
something I'd like to do myself.
358
00:17:50,419 --> 00:17:54,055
Can't pass up this chance to
give him a dose of his own garbage.
359
00:17:57,126 --> 00:17:58,492
Is it my turn to talk?
360
00:18:00,196 --> 00:18:02,462
Sure hope the run in
my leotards doesn't show.
361
00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:04,731
I couldn't find another pair.
There was no place open.
362
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,213
It's a nice moon, isn't it?
363
00:18:08,237 --> 00:18:12,206
Mmm. I think they
call it a liar's moon.
364
00:18:12,274 --> 00:18:14,208
Last time I saw a moon like that
365
00:18:14,276 --> 00:18:16,376
was while I was living in Paris.
366
00:18:16,445 --> 00:18:18,256
You lived in Paris? Mmm-hmm.
367
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,592
Why, I spent three years
there in finishing school.
368
00:18:20,616 --> 00:18:22,027
I know it like the
back of my hand.
369
00:18:22,051 --> 00:18:25,052
The Eiffel Tower, the
Left Bank, onion soup.
370
00:18:25,121 --> 00:18:26,620
Where did you live?
371
00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,655
Well, actually I only, uh,
372
00:18:28,725 --> 00:18:32,026
stopped over there on
my way to Marrakesh.
373
00:18:32,095 --> 00:18:35,562
Marrakesh? Why, I finished
my finishing school there.
374
00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:37,609
Well, then obviously
you know El Modo Cafe,
375
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,778
it's the only place
in Marrakesh.
376
00:18:39,802 --> 00:18:44,205
Well, actually I only spent only a
few days there visiting my sick aunt.
377
00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:47,507
Then, I moved on to my
father's fabulous estate in...
378
00:18:48,577 --> 00:18:50,097
In Guam. Guam?
379
00:18:50,146 --> 00:18:51,924
Oh, I visit relatives
there very summer.
380
00:18:51,948 --> 00:18:54,348
They live in a bunker
on Mount Suribachi.
381
00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,386
What if I told you, I...
382
00:18:59,455 --> 00:19:01,055
I lived on Pitcairn Island?
383
00:19:03,692 --> 00:19:04,759
Oh, boy.
384
00:19:06,262 --> 00:19:10,097
Laurie, I guess I have a
confession to make to you.
385
00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:11,777
But I guess you
already know what it is.
386
00:19:11,801 --> 00:19:14,902
I think so, but who knows
what you'll come up with.
387
00:19:14,971 --> 00:19:17,471
No, I'm not gonna
tell you any more lies.
388
00:19:17,539 --> 00:19:19,373
I've lied to you from
beginning to end.
389
00:19:21,043 --> 00:19:23,077
I'm not Howard
Wainwright from Paris.
390
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,013
I'm...
391
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,522
I'm Howard Krump
from Bakersfield.
392
00:19:29,952 --> 00:19:32,131
Why didn't you tell me
the truth to begin with?
393
00:19:32,155 --> 00:19:34,288
Why do you find it so difficult
394
00:19:34,356 --> 00:19:35,522
for you to be you?
395
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:39,393
Because... Because
Howard Krump is dull.
396
00:19:41,463 --> 00:19:43,330
(STAMMERING) Look, I'm sorry.
397
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,766
I didn't mean to lie to you.
398
00:19:45,835 --> 00:19:47,212
It's just that Howard Wainwright
399
00:19:47,236 --> 00:19:49,303
was a rich, interesting person.
400
00:19:50,706 --> 00:19:52,072
Howard Krump isn't.
401
00:19:55,144 --> 00:19:57,384
How could you
afford this cruise?
402
00:19:59,315 --> 00:20:01,682
Pinto beans. I beg your pardon?
403
00:20:02,885 --> 00:20:04,325
I guessed the
number of Pinto beans
404
00:20:04,353 --> 00:20:06,233
in Dukes department
store, and I won the trip.
405
00:20:07,556 --> 00:20:09,156
I'm a fraud all the way, Laurie.
406
00:20:10,827 --> 00:20:13,427
I... I'm sorry I
did this to you.
407
00:20:14,997 --> 00:20:16,197
I won't bother you anymore.
408
00:20:16,265 --> 00:20:17,631
(INHALING) You know,
409
00:20:19,368 --> 00:20:21,568
I like Howard Krump
from Bakersfield
410
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:25,372
a lot more than the
other Howard from Paris.
411
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:27,574
You're a very nice
person, Howard Krump.
412
00:20:30,412 --> 00:20:32,512
Besides, we have a date tonight,
413
00:20:32,581 --> 00:20:34,492
and if Keith ever found
out you stood me up,
414
00:20:34,516 --> 00:20:36,516
he'd never stop teasing me.
415
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:41,188
Wanna play a game of ping-pong?
416
00:20:41,257 --> 00:20:44,391
No, I'm not much
good at ping-pong, but
417
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,194
I'm terrific at liar's poker.
418
00:20:55,071 --> 00:20:57,271
? When love's talked about
419
00:20:58,440 --> 00:20:59,974
? Love is through
420
00:21:02,444 --> 00:21:05,379
? It's run out of me
421
00:21:06,148 --> 00:21:08,648
? It's run out of you
422
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:12,052
? When love's talked about
423
00:21:13,122 --> 00:21:14,554
? It's lost its strength
424
00:21:17,226 --> 00:21:19,793
? It's got no more life
425
00:21:21,163 --> 00:21:23,830
? It's got no more length
426
00:21:25,067 --> 00:21:28,802
? How many winds have to blow?
427
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:32,639
? We've seen the summer
and we've seen the snow
428
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:35,542
? And how many
winds have to blow
429
00:21:35,611 --> 00:21:37,778
? Till one of us goes?
430
00:21:39,248 --> 00:21:41,248
? 'Cause we both know
431
00:21:43,286 --> 00:21:46,720
? When love's talked about
? When love's talked about
432
00:21:46,789 --> 00:21:48,122
? It's too late
433
00:21:48,190 --> 00:21:50,490
? You know it's too late, baby
434
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,559
? So let's not talk it out
435
00:21:52,628 --> 00:21:54,428
? We don't talk it out
436
00:21:54,496 --> 00:21:58,065
? Or it'll turn to hate
? Or it'll turn to hate
437
00:21:58,134 --> 00:22:01,335
? When love's talked about
? When love's talked about
438
00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:02,803
? The bird has flown
439
00:22:02,871 --> 00:22:05,639
? You know the
bird's gone bye-bye
440
00:22:05,707 --> 00:22:09,176
? It's better left unsaid
? It's better left unsaid
441
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:13,513
? You're better off alone
? You're better off alone
442
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:17,017
? How many winds have to blow
443
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:20,787
? We've seen the summer
and we've seen the snow
444
00:22:20,856 --> 00:22:23,824
? And how many
winds have to blow
445
00:22:23,892 --> 00:22:26,126
? Till one of us goes?
446
00:22:27,496 --> 00:22:30,130
? 'Cause we both know
447
00:22:32,368 --> 00:22:36,803
? How many winds have to blow
448
00:22:36,872 --> 00:22:39,739
? It's much too late
449
00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:50,150
? And how many
winds have to blow
450
00:22:50,219 --> 00:22:53,988
? We've seen the summer
and we've seen the snow
451
00:22:54,056 --> 00:22:56,790
? And how many
winds have to blow
452
00:22:56,859 --> 00:22:58,792
? Till one of us goes?
453
00:23:00,429 --> 00:23:02,596
? 'Cause we both know
454
00:23:04,367 --> 00:23:07,734
? When love's talked about
? When love's talked about
455
00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:11,938
? It's much too late
? We can work it out ?
456
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:19,246
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
457
00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:36,130
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
458
00:23:36,199 --> 00:23:38,199
Sorry you're getting
off at Mazatlan.
459
00:23:38,267 --> 00:23:42,970
Well, included with my first prize was
a week's stay at the El Condor Hotel.
460
00:23:43,039 --> 00:23:45,583
Yeah, I've heard Pancho
Villa once stayed there.
461
00:23:45,607 --> 00:23:47,808
Pancho Villa?
462
00:23:47,877 --> 00:23:50,244
Well, it was nice meeting
you, Mrs. Partridge.
463
00:23:50,313 --> 00:23:52,891
Very nice to meet
you, both of you.
464
00:23:52,915 --> 00:23:56,094
But I must say, I like
Howard Krump a lot better.
465
00:23:56,118 --> 00:23:57,118
So do I.
466
00:23:58,387 --> 00:23:59,387
Thank you.
467
00:23:59,455 --> 00:24:01,421
Any time.
468
00:24:01,490 --> 00:24:03,535
You are gonna take up on that
idea we talked about, aren't you?
469
00:24:03,559 --> 00:24:04,624
I am.
470
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:06,193
What idea is that?
471
00:24:06,262 --> 00:24:08,262
Well, since Howard
does such a great job
472
00:24:08,331 --> 00:24:10,164
at assuming other identities,
473
00:24:10,233 --> 00:24:12,077
I thought he'd be a
natural as an actor.
474
00:24:12,101 --> 00:24:14,835
Well, there's this little
theater group in Bakersfield.
475
00:24:14,904 --> 00:24:17,838
So, I thought when
I get back, I'll try and
476
00:24:17,907 --> 00:24:19,273
bluff my way in.
477
00:24:19,342 --> 00:24:21,208
Howard.
478
00:24:21,277 --> 00:24:23,110
Well, look, I'll try
my hand at acting,
479
00:24:23,179 --> 00:24:26,113
but I promise you both I'll
never impersonate anyone again.
480
00:24:27,149 --> 00:24:28,482
Goodbye, Howard.
481
00:24:31,254 --> 00:24:34,255
Uh, make way for the
Crown Prince of Venezuela.
482
00:24:35,224 --> 00:24:36,891
Howard.
483
00:24:36,959 --> 00:24:37,959
I'm acting.
484
00:24:40,329 --> 00:24:42,596
(GIGGLES)
485
00:24:42,664 --> 00:24:45,504
Make way for Howard
Krump from Bakersfield.
486
00:24:46,305 --> 00:25:46,443
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