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1
00:00:51,567 --> 00:00:52,920
(SIGHING)
2
00:01:01,727 --> 00:01:03,160
Good night
3
00:01:08,967 --> 00:01:12,721
- Ben, didn't you notice the candle?
- Hmm?
4
00:01:16,047 --> 00:01:17,196
Oh
5
00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:23,046
Night
6
00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:28,044
What did you do that for?
7
00:01:28,127 --> 00:01:31,085
- For missing all my signals
- Oh, Susan
8
00:01:32,087 --> 00:01:34,123
Look, I'm exhausted, okay?
9
00:01:35,127 --> 00:01:36,446
Good night
10
00:01:38,487 --> 00:01:41,638
Fine Get your precious sleep
11
00:01:45,007 --> 00:01:48,079
I suppose it's only natural
12
00:01:49,647 --> 00:01:52,366
I mean, you are getting older
13
00:01:54,007 --> 00:01:56,885
You're not to blame
for your inadequacies
14
00:01:59,807 --> 00:02:01,923
Right, let's go
15
00:02:05,247 --> 00:02:07,681
I'll show you inadequacies
16
00:02:09,687 --> 00:02:11,518
You know what I mean
17
00:02:12,687 --> 00:02:17,158
Just prepare yourself
for a night of passion, baby
18
00:02:19,247 --> 00:02:22,125
A night of passion like no other
19
00:02:24,287 --> 00:02:27,597
- Oh, baby I am ready
- Mmm-hmm
20
00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:30,797
- I am so willing
- Mmm-hmm
21
00:02:31,807 --> 00:02:33,206
And I am
22
00:02:39,047 --> 00:02:40,605
Just not able
23
00:02:43,647 --> 00:02:45,558
- Morning
- Morning, all
24
00:02:46,007 --> 00:02:48,475
- Good morning
- That's your opinion
25
00:02:49,927 --> 00:02:51,883
It's like a strange parallel dimension
26
00:02:51,967 --> 00:02:54,845
where Mrs Harper
is actually the grumpy one
27
00:02:54,927 --> 00:02:57,566
Sounds like somebody
didn't get any sleep last night
28
00:02:57,647 --> 00:02:59,763
Oh, I got plenty of sleep
29
00:03:02,887 --> 00:03:04,286
Any coffee?
30
00:03:09,287 --> 00:03:12,324
Fine, okay
I'll get my own on the way to work
31
00:03:12,407 --> 00:03:15,444
- Bye-bye
- Not now, Ben, I'm too tired
32
00:03:18,087 --> 00:03:19,315
Fine
33
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:22,285
- Have a good day
- That's not bloody likely
34
00:03:23,007 --> 00:03:24,759
That's more like it
35
00:03:29,047 --> 00:03:31,686
Janey, what in God's name are you doing?
36
00:03:31,767 --> 00:03:33,883
Sending sexy photos to Peter
37
00:03:33,967 --> 00:03:37,755
We've been going out three months It's
hard to keep the relationship fresh
38
00:03:37,847 --> 00:03:41,123
Three months
I have fruit older than that
39
00:03:46,207 --> 00:03:48,084
Try 29 years
40
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,598
What, you and dad never took
naughty pictures?
41
00:03:50,687 --> 00:03:52,678
Just once in a photo booth
42
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:56,203
We were banned from
that Woolworths for six months
43
00:03:56,287 --> 00:03:59,120
Well, it's a lot easier these days
44
00:03:59,207 --> 00:04:02,722
Yes, Janey's taking being a slapper
into the 21 st century
45
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:05,275
Does my mobile even have a camera?
46
00:04:05,847 --> 00:04:08,361
Oh, that's so cute
47
00:04:08,447 --> 00:04:11,723
Might as well be
two tin cans and a piece of string
48
00:04:11,807 --> 00:04:12,956
Why don't you get a new one?
49
00:04:13,047 --> 00:04:16,164
And have your father moan
about the cost for a month?
50
00:04:16,247 --> 00:04:18,841
Maybe there could be
a little accident staged
51
00:04:18,927 --> 00:04:21,760
I don't want your father hurt
over a phone
52
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:28,398
- I was talking about the phone
- Oh, I see
53
00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:33,965
I'd have to replace it if it should
accidentally fall off the table
54
00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:35,966
Oops!
55
00:04:37,487 --> 00:04:38,522
(BEEPS)
56
00:04:38,607 --> 00:04:40,040
Still working
57
00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:42,766
Janey, did you put sugar in my coffee?
58
00:04:49,727 --> 00:04:50,762
(BEEPS)
59
00:04:50,847 --> 00:04:52,565
It's still working
60
00:04:53,447 --> 00:04:57,122
You have to admit,
they don't make them like that any more
61
00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:59,478
Die! Why don't you die?
62
00:05:03,527 --> 00:05:04,721
Hello?
63
00:05:06,447 --> 00:05:09,245
Oh, sorry, Mum,
I didn't mean to call you
64
00:05:12,287 --> 00:05:14,084
Is this platform six?
65
00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,725
(BOTH LAUGHING)
66
00:05:16,047 --> 00:05:18,515
The old ones never grow old, Henry
67
00:05:19,247 --> 00:05:21,556
Now, listen, mate
Some bad news, I'm afraid
68
00:05:21,647 --> 00:05:24,115
You've got some decay
in those old fillings
69
00:05:24,207 --> 00:05:26,004
This may hurt a bit
70
00:05:26,287 --> 00:05:27,322
I'm on the wrong platform
71
00:05:27,407 --> 00:05:30,604
No, no, Henry Hey, hey, hey, come on
Come on, in you come Take a seat
72
00:05:30,687 --> 00:05:34,043
- Come on Let's get the bib on you
- Oh, are we going to eat?
73
00:05:34,127 --> 00:05:35,401
(BEN CHUCKLING)
74
00:05:35,487 --> 00:05:37,284
- Oh, dear
- Oh, they never stop
75
00:05:37,367 --> 00:05:40,484
- Here comes the bib
- Short but concise
76
00:05:41,727 --> 00:05:44,366
Let's get that cotton wool
in you there quickly
77
00:05:44,447 --> 00:05:46,403
- Listen, Ben
- Yeah?
78
00:05:46,487 --> 00:05:50,321
- I want to ask you something seriously
- Oh
79
00:05:50,407 --> 00:05:53,240
You know I married a much younger woman
80
00:05:53,327 --> 00:05:55,522
Yes, I think you may
have mentioned that, yeah
81
00:05:55,607 --> 00:05:58,121
Well, it was fine at first
82
00:05:58,207 --> 00:06:01,483
The problem is
my wife's getting older now
83
00:06:03,207 --> 00:06:06,722
- She's nearly 42
- She's 42?
84
00:06:07,287 --> 00:06:09,164
Well, what can you do?
85
00:06:09,647 --> 00:06:12,798
I'm having an affair
with an even younger woman
86
00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:16,197
Right, let's just get the cotton
in there, shall we?
87
00:06:16,287 --> 00:06:18,642
I'm going to leave my wife
88
00:06:21,007 --> 00:06:22,725
Look, Henry,
if it's all the same with you,
89
00:06:22,807 --> 00:06:25,480
I'd rather not get involved
in your personal life
90
00:06:25,567 --> 00:06:27,762
I've got one or two problems
of my own as it is
91
00:06:27,847 --> 00:06:29,439
I hope you don't mind
92
00:06:29,527 --> 00:06:30,562
Ah
93
00:06:30,647 --> 00:06:33,639
Good, that's good I'm glad you do Yes
94
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,924
Anyway, come on
How about a bit of Novocaine?
95
00:06:37,007 --> 00:06:39,885
No? Okay, fine Well, okay Brave man
96
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:44,916
Right, Henry, open,
which you already are
97
00:06:45,007 --> 00:06:49,523
So, let's have a look, shall we?
I'm warning you, this may hurt a bit
98
00:06:49,607 --> 00:06:52,644
Little prod No?
That didn't hurt? Okay, fine
99
00:06:53,127 --> 00:06:55,083
No, I've never had an affair myself
100
00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:58,364
Well, not that I haven't had
a few chances, but
101
00:06:59,207 --> 00:07:02,438
Blimey, Henry
You've got a great tolerance for pain
102
00:07:02,527 --> 00:07:05,041
You know, those dental conventions
can get a bit wild
103
00:07:05,127 --> 00:07:07,197
Oh, yeah, yeah Let me
104
00:07:07,807 --> 00:07:10,560
Henry, you must be dead
not to feel that
105
00:07:18,527 --> 00:07:19,755
Henry
106
00:07:23,727 --> 00:07:25,922
Henry, if this is one of your jokes,
it's not one of your best
107
00:07:26,007 --> 00:07:27,804
Please, Henry Henry
108
00:07:29,487 --> 00:07:30,840
Oh, my God
109
00:07:30,927 --> 00:07:32,076
Hello, Ben
110
00:07:32,167 --> 00:07:35,318
Oh, I see you are busy
Just came down to borrow some floss
111
00:07:35,407 --> 00:07:39,286
Hello, there Don't worry
You're in good hands with this one
112
00:07:40,767 --> 00:07:42,280
None of my business, Ben,
113
00:07:42,367 --> 00:07:46,360
but doesn't the bib over his face
make it harder to work on his teeth?
114
00:07:46,447 --> 00:07:49,644
Roger, he's dead
115
00:07:51,607 --> 00:07:54,440
Heavens to Murgatroyd!
What did you do to him?
116
00:07:54,527 --> 00:07:57,405
No, no, no!
I didn't kill him, you idiot
117
00:07:58,127 --> 00:08:00,880
He just passed away
before I got a chance to work on him
118
00:08:00,967 --> 00:08:03,276
Oh, thank God
I thought you'd finally just snapped
119
00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:05,927
Look, Roger, I need your help
to get the body
120
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:08,646
into the waiting room before thingy
What's her name?
121
00:08:08,727 --> 00:08:11,560
You know, my assistant gets back
from lunch Now grab the feet
122
00:08:11,647 --> 00:08:13,365
I'm not moving the body
That's tampering
123
00:08:13,447 --> 00:08:16,803
I've seen enough Hetty Wainthropp
to know you never move the body
124
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:20,436
Listen, Hetty
A dead man in a dental chair,
125
00:08:21,287 --> 00:08:23,403
not good for business
Now, come on Grab the feet
126
00:08:23,487 --> 00:08:26,047
- I will not be an accomplice
- Roger!
127
00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:30,486
Now, listen, if you don't help me,
I'm gonna tell Abi about
128
00:08:31,087 --> 00:08:32,964
- You know, the thing
- What thing?
129
00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:36,084
You know, the thing
130
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,123
- I don't know what you're talking about
- Yeah?
131
00:08:38,207 --> 00:08:40,675
Okay, fine I'll ring Abi
132
00:08:41,527 --> 00:08:45,566
It was my first year at school
All the other boys were doing it
133
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,722
- Roger, I was bluffing
- Oh
134
00:08:49,727 --> 00:08:52,480
So was I Please don't tell Abi
135
00:08:52,567 --> 00:08:56,526
Shut up Just grab the feet Come on
After three One, two
136
00:09:01,287 --> 00:09:03,198
Oh, Henry
137
00:09:03,887 --> 00:09:06,447
I'm amazed he lived as long as he did
138
00:09:06,527 --> 00:09:07,880
I'm back
139
00:09:09,807 --> 00:09:11,684
Would you pop out and get me some lunch?
140
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:13,120
- Right
- Not you, Roger
141
00:09:13,207 --> 00:09:16,199
I asked you if you wanted me
to bring anything back for you,
142
00:09:16,287 --> 00:09:19,120
and you said you weren't hungry
and to stop bothering you
143
00:09:19,207 --> 00:09:22,358
Yes, but if you were a good assistant,
you would have got me some anyway
144
00:09:22,447 --> 00:09:23,846
So I'm gonna have to let you go
145
00:09:23,927 --> 00:09:25,406
- What?
- Yes, you're fired, sacked
146
00:09:25,487 --> 00:09:28,365
- Go on On your bike Out Go
- Fine
147
00:09:30,247 --> 00:09:31,646
- Bye, Roger
- Bye
148
00:09:31,727 --> 00:09:33,001
- Bye, Henry
- Bye
149
00:09:39,247 --> 00:09:41,636
- Peter, this is Abi
- It's nice to meet you, Abi
150
00:09:41,727 --> 00:09:44,480
- I've heard a lot about you
- All good, I hope
151
00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:45,886
Uh, yeah
152
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,086
And this is Alfie
153
00:09:49,167 --> 00:09:50,919
- Hi
- Come here, you
154
00:09:52,687 --> 00:09:54,166
And Michael
155
00:09:54,447 --> 00:09:57,325
Am I gonna have to remember
this one's name?
156
00:09:58,527 --> 00:10:02,122
- Mum, this is Peter
- Oh, it's very nice to meet you
157
00:10:02,207 --> 00:10:05,404
Oh, let me take a photo of you
with my new mobile
158
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:11,079
- How the hell do you do it?
- It's easy
159
00:10:12,967 --> 00:10:16,721
See this button with the camera on it?
Give it a good push
160
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:19,997
Listen, Michael,
it took me a year to potty train you,
161
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:22,555
so you can stop with the attitude
162
00:10:23,607 --> 00:10:25,996
Where's Dad?
I was hoping to introduce him to Peter
163
00:10:26,087 --> 00:10:29,045
I don't know He's late
It's not like him
164
00:10:29,127 --> 00:10:31,800
Maybe he's gone for a drink with Roger
165
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:39,044
- What?
- Abi, they don't really socialise
166
00:10:39,127 --> 00:10:42,164
No Abi may have a point, Mrs Harper
167
00:10:42,887 --> 00:10:44,718
Perhaps they have
put aside their differences
168
00:10:44,807 --> 00:10:48,038
and reached a mutually affectionate
middle ground
169
00:10:59,567 --> 00:11:01,956
Roger Roger, would you get a grip?
170
00:11:02,047 --> 00:11:05,722
They've taken him away He died
of natural causes It's not a problem
171
00:11:05,807 --> 00:11:08,241
- What am I gonna tell Abi?
- Nothing
172
00:11:08,327 --> 00:11:10,397
You tell Abi nothing
173
00:11:11,527 --> 00:11:12,755
This is our secret
174
00:11:12,847 --> 00:11:15,122
- You're not even gonna tell Susan?
- Especially not Susan
175
00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:16,879
Believe me, I know her
176
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:20,755
No A dead man cheating on his wife
It'll open up a whole can of worms
177
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,439
Now, come one Let's go home, please
178
00:11:22,527 --> 00:11:24,802
There's a stain on my hands
I'll never wash off
179
00:11:24,887 --> 00:11:26,161
I'm like Lady Macbeth
180
00:11:26,247 --> 00:11:28,807
In more ways than you'll ever know
181
00:11:37,207 --> 00:11:40,483
Susan, please, not tonight
182
00:11:41,087 --> 00:11:42,918
I'm not in the mood
183
00:11:45,927 --> 00:11:49,806
Last night you were too tired
Tonight you're not in the mood
184
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:53,796
Normally, all I have to do is yawn
and you're all over me
185
00:11:54,967 --> 00:11:56,878
I had a bad day at the office
186
00:11:57,847 --> 00:12:01,681
You've been acting really strangely
ever since you got home
187
00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:03,041
You hardly touched your food
188
00:12:03,127 --> 00:12:06,085
I wouldn't read too much into that,
actually
189
00:12:06,607 --> 00:12:09,485
- Is everything all right?
- Yeah, yeah, fine
190
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:13,125
You're not hiding something from me,
are you?
191
00:12:13,207 --> 00:12:14,925
No, of course not
192
00:12:15,967 --> 00:12:18,845
Ben, I've lived with you for 29 years
193
00:12:18,927 --> 00:12:21,680
Every time you lie, your eyebrows go up
194
00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:30,966
They do not
195
00:12:31,727 --> 00:12:33,319
So you're not trying
to hide something from me?
196
00:12:33,407 --> 00:12:37,764
No, course not No, there's no secrets
between you and me, Susan
197
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,558
(MOBILE RINGING)
198
00:12:55,047 --> 00:12:56,196
Hello?
199
00:12:57,927 --> 00:13:00,760
Why are you calling me from the kitchen?
200
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:04,078
Because I've got a new phone and I've
just programmed you into my speed dial
201
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:06,123
- You're number one
- Yeah, I should hope so
202
00:13:06,207 --> 00:13:09,802
Why are you ringing me?
203
00:13:09,887 --> 00:13:12,765
I just thought
you might fancy a cup of tea
204
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:17,481
Yes, I'd love a cup of
Why are we talking on the phone?
205
00:13:18,647 --> 00:13:20,877
That's a good point
I'll put the kettle on
206
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,719
(DOORBELL RINGING)
207
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,120
- Mr Harper?
- Yes
208
00:13:29,207 --> 00:13:33,086
I'm Celia
I'm sure Henry's talked about me
209
00:13:34,687 --> 00:13:37,918
Oh, yeah You must be his
210
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,280
- Wife
- Wife, yeah, wife
211
00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:43,835
Yes, he's talked a lot about you
212
00:13:44,607 --> 00:13:47,360
I'm amazed that we haven't met before
213
00:13:47,447 --> 00:13:50,325
After all, you two have been playing
golf together every Tuesday
214
00:13:50,407 --> 00:13:51,920
for nearly 10 years
215
00:13:54,927 --> 00:13:57,999
Really, have we? Is it that long?
216
00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:02,837
I can't tell you how devastated I am
to have lost him
217
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,716
Still, he lived life to the full
218
00:14:05,807 --> 00:14:07,559
Oh, and then some
219
00:14:08,087 --> 00:14:10,885
- He'll be sorely missed
- Oh, by so many
220
00:14:12,087 --> 00:14:15,762
It is so nice to talk to someone
who knew Henry so well
221
00:14:16,927 --> 00:14:19,236
Someone I can shed a tear with
222
00:14:19,887 --> 00:14:21,923
Oh, look, here's the door
223
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:25,239
I was wondering
what his last words were
224
00:14:25,887 --> 00:14:29,084
His last words Last words?
His last words were
225
00:14:29,927 --> 00:14:33,237
His last words were something
about a lost filling
226
00:14:33,927 --> 00:14:37,886
And, oh, how much he loved you,
you know, lifetime together
227
00:14:37,967 --> 00:14:40,117
You know, that sort of thing
228
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,844
You will let me know
if you remember anything else?
229
00:14:42,927 --> 00:14:45,646
Of course, of course I'll call you
230
00:14:45,807 --> 00:14:47,525
I'll call you, bye
231
00:14:54,047 --> 00:14:56,481
- Who was that?
- Who was that?
232
00:14:57,767 --> 00:15:01,123
What that? Her? Well, um
233
00:15:01,207 --> 00:15:03,198
Jehovah's receptionist
234
00:15:04,807 --> 00:15:08,846
Receptionist She came for the
receptionist job that I'm giving out
235
00:15:08,927 --> 00:15:10,963
- And she came to the house?
- That's why I turned her down
236
00:15:11,047 --> 00:15:13,322
She couldn't even find the surgery
237
00:15:13,407 --> 00:15:15,875
So why did you say you'd call her?
238
00:15:19,007 --> 00:15:23,398
(STAMMERING) I haven't turned her
down yet No, I was gonna call her
239
00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:26,243
Why's your voice gone up?
240
00:15:26,327 --> 00:15:29,125
It's not gone up
I always talk like this
241
00:15:43,807 --> 00:15:45,445
Susan, you busy?
242
00:15:46,087 --> 00:15:48,442
- I'd like to say yes
- Good, because I need your advice
243
00:15:48,527 --> 00:15:50,995
You've been round the block a bit
244
00:15:54,447 --> 00:15:56,403
Flatter me, why don't you?
245
00:15:56,487 --> 00:15:59,126
- I'm worried about Roger
- We all are, Abi
246
00:15:59,207 --> 00:16:03,041
He's acting really strange
He's distant, tense
247
00:16:03,127 --> 00:16:05,083
It's like he's hiding something
248
00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:08,523
Do you find when you try
talking to him about it,
249
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,316
- he's deliberately evasive?
- Yes
250
00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:15,685
What's evasive mean?
251
00:16:17,487 --> 00:16:19,125
- Ducking the question
- Yes
252
00:16:19,207 --> 00:16:21,846
And do you find
when you challenge him about it,
253
00:16:21,927 --> 00:16:24,236
he's economical with the truth?
254
00:16:27,047 --> 00:16:29,197
- Means he's lying
- Oh, yes
255
00:16:31,167 --> 00:16:33,727
He's seeing someone else, isn't he?
256
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:36,516
I think it's something
we might have to face up to
257
00:16:36,607 --> 00:16:37,642
(SCOFFING)
258
00:16:37,727 --> 00:16:40,958
Well, I'm not gonna let him go
without a fight
259
00:16:42,247 --> 00:16:43,680
Yes, right
260
00:16:44,447 --> 00:16:47,086
Do you know, I read once
that your man only strays
261
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:49,886
because you let things get
a little bit stale at home
262
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:54,404
You should always be trying to do
whatever it takes to freshen things up
263
00:16:55,207 --> 00:16:57,038
Sounds a bit drastic
264
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:03,197
(CHUCKLING) Fresh? I'll give you fresh
265
00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:12,239
(CAMERA CLICKING)
266
00:17:13,687 --> 00:17:16,679
No, they look like
a pair of cherry Bakewells
267
00:17:27,527 --> 00:17:29,995
Whoa, whoa, whoa Too big
268
00:17:38,247 --> 00:17:40,283
Hello, boys
269
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:44,397
I'm too pretty to go to prison
270
00:17:44,487 --> 00:17:46,557
I'll be passed round like a plate
of chicken
271
00:17:46,647 --> 00:17:50,037
Nobody's going to prison, Roger
The coroner said he had heart failure
272
00:17:50,127 --> 00:17:52,482
He had a history of heart problems,
apparently
273
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:54,319
But we moved the body
274
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:58,036
Roger, no crime
has been committedyet
275
00:17:59,407 --> 00:18:01,602
- Hello, Mr Harper?
- Yeah?
276
00:18:01,687 --> 00:18:03,120
I'm Stacey
277
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,078
I was a close friend of Henry's
278
00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:07,156
(ROGER EXCLAIMING)
279
00:18:07,247 --> 00:18:08,282
Shut up
280
00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:11,882
You must be his golf partner, Tuesdays
281
00:18:12,207 --> 00:18:14,243
I hope I'm not intruding
282
00:18:14,767 --> 00:18:17,235
I just wanted to see where Henry died
283
00:18:17,327 --> 00:18:21,161
- Well, certainly not in that chair
- Out Get out Out Get out
284
00:18:22,687 --> 00:18:24,166
Sorry
285
00:18:24,527 --> 00:18:29,806
He's insane Really upset about Henry
And we are all grieving his loss
286
00:18:30,247 --> 00:18:32,636
- Did he talk about me?
- Oh, yeah
287
00:18:34,807 --> 00:18:35,956
All the time
288
00:18:36,047 --> 00:18:38,277
Couldn't stop talking about you
Stacey this, Stacey that
289
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,677
Stacey, Stacey, Stacey
I couldn't shut him up, try as I might
290
00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:43,120
(SOBBING)
291
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:47,280
- I miss him so much
- I'm sure I'm sure you do
292
00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:51,877
- Oh, so sorry
- It's all right I'll see you outside
293
00:18:53,847 --> 00:18:57,203
How about I make you a nice cup of tea?
Hmm?
294
00:18:57,607 --> 00:19:00,599
So, why don't you
just have a nice seat here?
295
00:19:01,127 --> 00:19:03,800
I'll be right back, okay? Right back
296
00:19:06,287 --> 00:19:08,403
Celia, what are you doing here?
297
00:19:08,487 --> 00:19:10,921
- Was I interrupting something?
- Yes
298
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:13,039
That was my wife
299
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,801
I've just told her the bad news
300
00:19:16,887 --> 00:19:18,525
- Was it this one?
- What?
301
00:19:18,607 --> 00:19:20,484
Was it this chair?
302
00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:23,843
- Was it this chair what?
- Where Henry passed on
303
00:19:25,007 --> 00:19:28,556
Oh, yes
Well, to be honest, it was all three
304
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:30,441
He sort of keeled over
305
00:19:30,527 --> 00:19:31,676
(SOBBING)
306
00:19:31,767 --> 00:19:32,802
(STACEY SOBBING)
307
00:19:32,887 --> 00:19:34,843
It's all right, darling
I'll be right there
308
00:19:34,927 --> 00:19:36,440
Before you go
309
00:19:36,527 --> 00:19:40,315
I was wondering if you'd give the eulogy
at Henry's funeral
310
00:19:40,727 --> 00:19:42,763
He lived for your golf games
311
00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:46,442
When he'd get home,
he couldn't get the smile off his face
312
00:19:46,527 --> 00:19:48,006
Yeah, I bet he couldn't
313
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:51,796
In fact, I was going to give you
his golf clubs,
314
00:19:51,887 --> 00:19:54,242
but he doesn't seem to have any
315
00:19:56,127 --> 00:19:58,038
That's because I have them
316
00:19:58,127 --> 00:20:01,642
I've carried them for him
and I'll cherish them forever
317
00:20:02,127 --> 00:20:05,836
So will you give the eulogy?
It would mean so much to me
318
00:20:05,927 --> 00:20:07,997
Yes I'll be right there
Yes, of course
319
00:20:08,087 --> 00:20:10,078
Well, since you put it that way,
yes, yes:
320
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,283
- You're wonderful
- I know
321
00:20:14,207 --> 00:20:16,437
Right, off you go Bye-bye
322
00:20:16,567 --> 00:20:18,285
(LAUGHING)
323
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:21,006
Oh, that's so lovely
324
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,645
I gave her the job
325
00:20:22,727 --> 00:20:23,796
- Really?
- Hmm
326
00:20:23,887 --> 00:20:25,878
That's a sudden change of mind,
isn't it?
327
00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:29,403
Well, very persistent woman, Susan
She's passionate about dentistry
328
00:20:29,487 --> 00:20:31,921
I have to go It's just too much
329
00:20:34,487 --> 00:20:37,399
We're inundated
with receptionists today
330
00:20:38,327 --> 00:20:39,476
What are you doing here?
331
00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:43,606
I'm here, Ben, because, as you well
know, I sent you something earlier
332
00:20:43,687 --> 00:20:47,316
- But now I wish to God I hadn't
- What? What did you send me?
333
00:20:47,407 --> 00:20:48,601
These
334
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:51,124
- Remember these?
- Oh, yes
335
00:20:51,207 --> 00:20:54,563
Good Take a good look
You'll never see them again
336
00:20:55,607 --> 00:20:56,722
Door
337
00:21:02,607 --> 00:21:05,326
You won't believe what's been going on
338
00:21:06,367 --> 00:21:08,244
Peter's been cheating on me
339
00:21:08,327 --> 00:21:12,081
Some tart sent him a naked picture
of herself on his mobile
340
00:21:16,047 --> 00:21:18,402
You can't see her face
You can only see her breasts
341
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:21,240
And he insists he has no idea who it is
342
00:21:26,887 --> 00:21:28,764
Oh, my God
343
00:21:28,847 --> 00:21:32,317
What kind of depraved harlot
would do a thing like that?
344
00:21:33,047 --> 00:21:36,244
I'm going to call him right now
and break it off
345
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:40,796
- Did I leave my phone here last night?
- No, no, it must be at your place
346
00:21:40,887 --> 00:21:43,321
No No, I'll just call it
347
00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:46,685
- Please don't do that
- Why not?
348
00:21:48,367 --> 00:21:49,800
I don't know
349
00:21:51,487 --> 00:21:53,284
(MOBILE RINGING)
350
00:22:09,687 --> 00:22:11,040
Oh, Mum
351
00:22:13,087 --> 00:22:14,839
What have you done?
352
00:22:16,367 --> 00:22:18,597
You'll laugh when I tell you
353
00:22:21,967 --> 00:22:24,356
You sent a picture
of your breasts to my boyfriend?
354
00:22:24,447 --> 00:22:26,165
Please tell me you're joking
355
00:22:26,247 --> 00:22:30,718
- It was supposed to go to your father
- I'm looking for positives here, Mum
356
00:22:30,807 --> 00:22:32,923
Look, a minute ago you thought
he was cheating on you
357
00:22:33,007 --> 00:22:34,281
You should be happy
358
00:22:34,367 --> 00:22:37,677
I'd better go and see Peter
Explain what's happened
359
00:22:42,887 --> 00:22:46,800
- Please don't tell him they were mine
- What else can I say?
360
00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:51,282
Well, at lest tell him
not to use them as a screensaver
361
00:23:00,127 --> 00:23:01,924
Where are you off to?
362
00:23:03,287 --> 00:23:05,562
- Work
- In your best suit?
363
00:23:06,967 --> 00:23:08,639
I've got a lunch
364
00:23:09,127 --> 00:23:11,766
Oh, now I get the eyebrows
and the voice
365
00:23:11,847 --> 00:23:14,680
- Can I just go to work, please?
- And the defensive body posture
366
00:23:14,767 --> 00:23:17,235
Do you know how insulting this is?
367
00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:19,444
I'm going to the surgery now
368
00:23:19,527 --> 00:23:20,926
And I suggest you spend
the rest of the day
369
00:23:21,007 --> 00:23:23,726
trying to control your paranoia, Celia
370
00:23:23,847 --> 00:23:25,041
Susan
371
00:23:37,767 --> 00:23:41,157
Do you mind if I do the laundry
with you, Mrs Harper?
372
00:23:43,727 --> 00:23:47,720
I have never heard
that question before in this house
373
00:23:50,487 --> 00:23:54,400
Back in the village, doing the laundry
was a real communal activity
374
00:23:54,487 --> 00:23:58,878
We'd all come together and embrace
the calming effect of the spin cycle
375
00:23:59,847 --> 00:24:04,238
I always say laundry is very,
very therapeutic
376
00:24:18,007 --> 00:24:22,478
Unless you find a provocative
undergarment in your husband's trousers
377
00:24:28,367 --> 00:24:30,198
Oh, Peter
378
00:24:31,967 --> 00:24:34,959
- Sorry, Janey's not here
- I know
379
00:24:36,007 --> 00:24:38,521
Janey told me about the picture
380
00:24:38,607 --> 00:24:41,758
And I've been staring at it
ever since you sent it It's perfect
381
00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:44,441
Listen, Peter Really?
382
00:24:45,487 --> 00:24:46,840
Thank you
383
00:24:47,327 --> 00:24:50,080
Now, look, that was a mistake
Delete it
384
00:24:50,727 --> 00:24:52,126
Oh, come on, Susan
385
00:24:52,207 --> 00:24:54,198
There are no mistakes
We're both adults
386
00:24:54,287 --> 00:24:58,121
It's obvious you like me and I have
to say I'm really attracted to you
387
00:24:58,207 --> 00:25:01,358
- I mean, you're gorgeous
- Can I stop you there?
388
00:25:03,007 --> 00:25:06,443
Firstly, I'm an unhappily,
happily married woman
389
00:25:06,527 --> 00:25:08,597
Secondly,
you're going out with my daughter
390
00:25:08,687 --> 00:25:11,997
And, thirdly, if you get that excited
about a blurry photo,
391
00:25:12,087 --> 00:25:13,884
the real thing would kill you
392
00:25:13,967 --> 00:25:16,356
Get out of here Class dismissed
393
00:25:27,967 --> 00:25:29,878
Where is he, Roger?
394
00:25:29,967 --> 00:25:32,037
(GASPING)
395
00:25:32,127 --> 00:25:35,085
- I can't tell you
- Stop covering for him
396
00:25:39,927 --> 00:25:42,680
I didn't want to get involved
in the first place
397
00:25:42,767 --> 00:25:45,918
He made me keep the secrets
He made me tell the lies
398
00:25:46,007 --> 00:25:49,238
Its all secrets and lies, Susan,
secrets and lies
399
00:25:49,887 --> 00:25:52,447
Roger, where is he?
400
00:25:53,087 --> 00:25:55,362
I don't know what's
right and wrong any more
401
00:26:00,287 --> 00:26:01,766
Where?
402
00:26:02,447 --> 00:26:04,483
21 Blackberry Lane
403
00:26:06,327 --> 00:26:08,397
21 Blackberry Lane
404
00:26:12,887 --> 00:26:14,957
God have mercy on my soul
405
00:26:24,127 --> 00:26:26,800
Abi, what are you doing here?
406
00:26:27,367 --> 00:26:29,961
I know what you've been up to, Rog
407
00:26:30,687 --> 00:26:33,804
I'm here to freshen things up
408
00:26:35,887 --> 00:26:38,526
Don't, Abi I've been scrubbing
this chair clean for days
409
00:26:38,607 --> 00:26:40,484
to get rid of the evidence
410
00:26:40,567 --> 00:26:43,001
- Evidence?
- Yes
411
00:26:45,327 --> 00:26:50,117
I helped Ben move a dead body
from the surgery to the waiting room
412
00:26:50,647 --> 00:26:52,319
Oh, is that all?
413
00:26:52,847 --> 00:26:56,635
Thank God for that
I thought you was cheating on me
414
00:27:02,207 --> 00:27:06,200
And let me conclude by saying
that Henry was a good man
415
00:27:07,247 --> 00:27:08,919
A man who was
416
00:27:10,527 --> 00:27:11,721
good
417
00:27:12,127 --> 00:27:15,324
He was having a good time
418
00:27:16,247 --> 00:27:22,083
A man who loved his wife and his mmm
mistakes were many
419
00:27:26,887 --> 00:27:30,163
Thank you, Ben Harper,
for your comforting words
420
00:27:30,247 --> 00:27:34,923
You certainly left us in no doubt
as to where he died,
421
00:27:35,007 --> 00:27:39,876
which of course was the waiting room
and not the surgery
422
00:27:42,447 --> 00:27:44,677
- Thank you so much
- My pleasure
423
00:27:47,767 --> 00:27:50,918
Hello, Ben Do you want to tell me
who this really is?
424
00:27:51,007 --> 00:27:53,475
This? This is nobody
425
00:27:54,607 --> 00:27:57,405
Oh, no? Then whose are these?
426
00:27:57,487 --> 00:27:59,205
Those are mine
427
00:27:59,727 --> 00:28:01,524
- And who is she?
- She's his wife
428
00:28:01,607 --> 00:28:03,518
No, I'm his mistress
429
00:28:04,127 --> 00:28:06,561
I knew she wasn't your receptionist
430
00:28:06,647 --> 00:28:10,606
- You said she was your wife
- How dare you say she was your wife!
431
00:28:10,687 --> 00:28:15,158
No, Susan, she's not my wife
or my mistress She's his mistress
432
00:28:15,247 --> 00:28:16,475
No, no
433
00:28:17,847 --> 00:28:19,838
And you knew about this?
434
00:28:21,087 --> 00:28:22,281
When were you going to tell me?
435
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:24,927
I was going to,
but it just didn't come up
436
00:28:25,007 --> 00:28:27,521
What's this woman doing with my pants?
437
00:28:27,607 --> 00:28:29,086
I found them in his trousers
438
00:28:29,167 --> 00:28:30,202
(EXCLAIMS)
439
00:28:30,287 --> 00:28:32,562
What have you been doing with my pants?
440
00:28:32,647 --> 00:28:35,639
(STAMMERING)
I was avoiding any embarrassment
441
00:28:35,727 --> 00:28:38,685
And to think that you were
Henry's golf partner
442
00:28:38,767 --> 00:28:41,565
I've never played golf with Henry
in my life
443
00:28:41,647 --> 00:28:42,966
- Liar
- Oh!
444
00:28:43,607 --> 00:28:45,325
You've got his clubs
445
00:28:45,407 --> 00:28:49,036
Please, this is the last thing
Henry would have wanted
446
00:28:49,127 --> 00:28:52,005
Can someone please tell me who Henry is?
447
00:28:52,087 --> 00:28:55,557
He was my husband and he loved me
448
00:28:55,647 --> 00:28:58,161
He was my lover and he loved me
449
00:28:58,247 --> 00:29:02,604
No! He was my boyfriend and he loved me
34196
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