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1
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[PHONE CLICKS]
2
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Explain yourself.
3
00:00:04,674 --> 00:00:06,607
I'm taking photos of your feet
for perverts.
4
00:00:06,676 --> 00:00:08,442
- Ew!
- Hear me out.
5
00:00:08,511 --> 00:00:10,411
Remember when you couldn't return those
sneakers you bought
6
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,079
and asked me to sell them online?
7
00:00:12,148 --> 00:00:13,848
- Right after I listed them...
- [LAPTOP BEEPS]
8
00:00:13,916 --> 00:00:16,417
...I got a message asking
if they'd been worn and sweat in.
9
00:00:16,486 --> 00:00:17,885
Before I could lie and say no...
10
00:00:17,954 --> 00:00:19,420
- [LAPTOP BEEPS]
- ...I got another message.
11
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"Can I see your feet?"
12
00:00:21,591 --> 00:00:24,759
Apparently, there are a ton of
these feet freaks on the Internet.
13
00:00:24,827 --> 00:00:28,329
Oh, my God, did you write this?
"My little piggies got so sweaty."
14
00:00:28,398 --> 00:00:31,098
- Sexy, right?
- No. No, it's gross!
15
00:00:31,167 --> 00:00:34,034
That pair of sneakers
went for over $200.
16
00:00:34,137 --> 00:00:35,803
I have more in my closet.
17
00:00:35,872 --> 00:00:38,706
That was three weeks ago,
and we have made a ton of money since.
18
00:00:38,775 --> 00:00:40,941
All I have to do is wear
a different shoe every day.
19
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[INHALES DEEPLY]
20
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Hitting all of the right notes...
Ship it.
21
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Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
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- [AWARD-CEREMONY MUSIC PLAYING]
- MAN: Les finalistes
23
00:01:01,230 --> 00:01:05,700
pour L'Expo Internationale
du Closet sont...
24
00:01:05,768 --> 00:01:08,736
Kabinett Konig, Berlin.
25
00:01:08,805 --> 00:01:11,572
- Pritchett's Closets...
- Hah! Yes!
26
00:01:11,641 --> 00:01:13,507
- Aah!
- Yes, yes, yes!
27
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Yes!
28
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LUKE: You guys are so gross!
29
00:01:17,847 --> 00:01:19,947
For the first time in company history,
30
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we are going to
the Expo Internationale du Closet!
31
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[CHUCKLES]
32
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MAN: ...Berlin. Pritchett's Closets.
33
00:01:26,923 --> 00:01:29,857
Son of a bitch, we did it! We did it!
34
00:01:29,926 --> 00:01:32,860
Manny, I appreciate you coming
from college for this moment.
35
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Yeah...
36
00:01:34,030 --> 00:01:37,698
Something like this only happens
once in a wee... year... lifetime?
37
00:01:37,767 --> 00:01:38,933
If that!
38
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I'm accustomed
to certain creature comforts
39
00:01:40,903 --> 00:01:42,403
that are hard to come by at school,
40
00:01:42,472 --> 00:01:45,873
so I've been stopping home
to...borrow things.
41
00:01:45,942 --> 00:01:47,775
You know, I may have to go shopping.
42
00:01:47,844 --> 00:01:50,444
I'm kind of between tuxedos,
size-wise, right now.
43
00:01:50,513 --> 00:01:53,414
- Oh, so this is a... big deal?
- It is.
44
00:01:53,483 --> 00:01:55,983
But, uh, don't feel you have
to live up to this.
45
00:01:56,052 --> 00:01:58,119
because that kind of pressure
can kill a kid.
46
00:01:58,187 --> 00:01:59,286
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
47
00:01:59,355 --> 00:02:00,454
That's probably Claire calling me.
48
00:02:00,523 --> 00:02:02,456
These will be rolling in
all day, you know.
49
00:02:02,525 --> 00:02:03,758
Hello?
50
00:02:03,826 --> 00:02:05,392
[FAX-MACHINE BEEPING]
51
00:02:05,461 --> 00:02:06,794
Who still uses fax machines?
52
00:02:06,863 --> 00:02:09,864
You know what? People are gonna
want to see me at the office.
53
00:02:09,932 --> 00:02:12,166
I'll just play nine holes
and head in early, huh?
54
00:02:12,235 --> 00:02:13,634
- See you, kid!
- See you.
55
00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:17,505
My new real-estate company
is this close to its first sale.
56
00:02:17,573 --> 00:02:18,739
A sale we really need!
57
00:02:18,808 --> 00:02:22,276
Not just to prove my old partners wrong,
but also to pay the bills.
58
00:02:22,345 --> 00:02:25,613
Unfortunately, my client has
developed a case of cold feet.
59
00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:29,410
Phil, this house
is everything I have wanted.
60
00:02:29,445 --> 00:02:30,918
Great! Should we write up an offer?
61
00:02:30,987 --> 00:02:34,722
But, I am feeling a hostile energy.
62
00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:37,725
I can assure you this house is filled
with nothing but happy memories.
63
00:02:37,794 --> 00:02:42,062
- If these walls could talk...
- They can. And they are.
64
00:02:42,131 --> 00:02:45,266
Personally, I don't believe in
any of that evil-spirit mumbo jumbo.
65
00:02:45,334 --> 00:02:47,701
As a magician, I've learned
that every spooky happening
66
00:02:47,770 --> 00:02:49,503
has a perfectly reasonable explanation.
67
00:02:49,572 --> 00:02:52,406
Even the eeriest of illusions,
Satan's Elevator,
68
00:02:52,475 --> 00:02:54,842
is really just two mirrors and a tiny...
69
00:02:55,578 --> 00:02:56,811
Nice try.
70
00:02:56,879 --> 00:02:59,613
When Phil told me about this house,
I offered to help.
71
00:02:59,682 --> 00:03:03,117
Now that Manny's away at college
and Joe goes to kindergarten,
72
00:03:03,186 --> 00:03:05,286
I have time for one of my old hobbies...
73
00:03:05,354 --> 00:03:07,988
confronting the devil in all his forms.
74
00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:09,623
I have everything I need...
75
00:03:09,692 --> 00:03:13,194
sage, a spoon from
the Vatican cafeteria,
76
00:03:13,262 --> 00:03:14,695
my maracas...
77
00:03:14,764 --> 00:03:15,796
Oh, here she is!
78
00:03:15,865 --> 00:03:18,866
Mrs. Graham, looking well!
How are those peptides doing?
79
00:03:18,935 --> 00:03:20,701
Ooh, terrific! My shaman realigned them.
80
00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:22,369
And I got the last everything bagel,
81
00:03:22,438 --> 00:03:24,438
so I guess we both got off
to a great start today.
82
00:03:24,507 --> 00:03:26,607
What say, we buy a house?
83
00:03:26,676 --> 00:03:29,243
Oh, this is Gloria.
She'll be addressing your concerns.
84
00:03:29,312 --> 00:03:30,678
Nice to meet you.
85
00:03:30,746 --> 00:03:34,248
I instantly trust you. Why is that?
86
00:03:34,317 --> 00:03:36,317
Oh, I got it.
87
00:03:36,385 --> 00:03:39,420
We were once cats together.
88
00:03:39,488 --> 00:03:41,222
I joke! I'm not that crazy.
89
00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:43,190
- [LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]
- Now, tell me about the ghost.
90
00:03:43,259 --> 00:03:47,127
Well, in these suburban cases,
it's usually a low-level haunting,
91
00:03:47,196 --> 00:03:51,198
like a dead unpaid gardener,
a dead jealous boyfriend,
92
00:03:51,267 --> 00:03:54,368
a dead dog who left something unfetched.
93
00:03:55,137 --> 00:03:57,238
Okay. Here we go.
94
00:03:58,307 --> 00:03:59,373
[SCREAMS]
95
00:03:59,442 --> 00:04:00,474
Oh, she's just taken with
96
00:04:00,543 --> 00:04:02,910
the natural light and the flow
at this price.
97
00:04:02,979 --> 00:04:04,845
It... it still gets me every time. Hey!
98
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,783
You did it, you bastard!
99
00:04:09,852 --> 00:04:11,352
- [APPLAUSE]
- CLAIRE: Be the change
100
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,420
you want to see in the world...
101
00:04:13,489 --> 00:04:14,922
- I got here as soon as I could!
- Shh!
102
00:04:14,991 --> 00:04:16,557
CLAIRE: In some ways,
the words of Gandhi
103
00:04:16,626 --> 00:04:18,392
are truer today than ever before.
104
00:04:18,461 --> 00:04:22,429
The world is taking notice
of the Aurora walk-in,
105
00:04:22,498 --> 00:04:26,700
which is blurring the line
between storage and sanctuary.
106
00:04:26,769 --> 00:04:30,104
[APPLAUSE]
107
00:04:30,172 --> 00:04:33,007
I want to take a moment
to celebrate our rock,
108
00:04:33,075 --> 00:04:34,675
our foundation,
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00:04:34,744 --> 00:04:37,645
someone to whom
we owe a very special debt...
110
00:04:37,713 --> 00:04:39,680
[INHALES DEEPLY] Josie.
111
00:04:39,749 --> 00:04:41,615
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
112
00:04:41,684 --> 00:04:45,786
Rock? Foundation? Josie? Who is that?!
113
00:04:45,855 --> 00:04:48,756
CLAIRE: And to thank you all
for your amazing accomplishments,
114
00:04:48,824 --> 00:04:51,358
I have got an ice-cream cart
coming in this afternoon!
115
00:04:51,427 --> 00:04:53,427
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
116
00:04:53,496 --> 00:04:54,561
That's right.
117
00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:56,030
I.T. guy, I need your help.
118
00:04:56,098 --> 00:04:57,831
- Cigar ash in your keyboard again?
- Something bigger.
119
00:04:57,900 --> 00:05:00,167
But, yeah, bring that little vacuum.
120
00:05:00,236 --> 00:05:02,772
My sister Pam came to stay with us
for a couple weeks.
121
00:05:02,899 --> 00:05:06,140
A year ago. In the unit upstairs...
which we used to rent for money,
122
00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:09,310
which we need to pay for everybody
in the unit downstairs.
123
00:05:09,378 --> 00:05:11,478
We had no choice. She was pregnant.
124
00:05:11,547 --> 00:05:15,282
The father, Bo, was in jail,
and she happens to be my best friend.
125
00:05:15,351 --> 00:05:18,385
Yeah, yeah,
like Tom and Jerry are best friends.
126
00:05:18,454 --> 00:05:21,689
Pam, did you remember the oranges?
127
00:05:21,757 --> 00:05:24,692
Say "oranges" one more time.
128
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:25,826
Oranges.
129
00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:29,403
- Say it one more time!
- Oranges!
130
00:05:29,438 --> 00:05:32,333
And then she left the door open,
and poor Larry got out
131
00:05:32,401 --> 00:05:34,435
- and got in a fight with a possum.
- Ohh.
132
00:05:34,503 --> 00:05:36,437
Now we have to give him
antibiotics every day at noon,
133
00:05:36,505 --> 00:05:37,538
which he hates.
134
00:05:37,606 --> 00:05:39,907
On the positive side,
we've both been coming home at lunch
135
00:05:39,976 --> 00:05:41,141
because it's a two-man job,
136
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:44,378
as it what we've also been enjoying
on our little lunch break...
137
00:05:44,447 --> 00:05:46,246
You look really cute in that suit.
138
00:05:46,315 --> 00:05:49,083
You look really cute
in those gym shorts.
139
00:05:49,151 --> 00:05:50,384
[LARRY MEOWS]
140
00:05:50,453 --> 00:05:52,920
Only eight more days of cat antibiotics.
141
00:05:52,989 --> 00:05:54,555
Say "antibiotics" one more time.
142
00:05:54,623 --> 00:05:56,423
- Antibiotics.
- [LARRY MEOWS]
143
00:05:56,492 --> 00:05:57,725
Okay, sweetie,
144
00:05:57,793 --> 00:05:59,760
but Pam's Mommy and Me class
is only an hour,
145
00:05:59,829 --> 00:06:01,996
so, you know, hurry.
146
00:06:02,064 --> 00:06:03,831
- Oh, a surprise, huh?
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
147
00:06:03,899 --> 00:06:05,833
- Okay. Okay, well I can't wait.
- [KNOCKING CONTINUES]
148
00:06:08,571 --> 00:06:10,904
- Yeah?
- Afternoon.
149
00:06:10,973 --> 00:06:12,239
Oh, my God, are you the surprise?
150
00:06:12,308 --> 00:06:14,041
Um, I was thinking candles,
or flowers on the bed...
151
00:06:14,110 --> 00:06:16,643
My name is Bo Johnson,
and I am here to meet my baby boy
152
00:06:16,712 --> 00:06:19,513
and win back the love of my life,
Miss Pam Tucker.
153
00:06:19,582 --> 00:06:21,548
Oh, my... You're...
you're B... you are Bo.
154
00:06:21,617 --> 00:06:23,384
Um, okay, well, Pam is not here.
155
00:06:23,452 --> 00:06:26,520
Uh, I'm Mitchell, Cameron's husband.
He's talked so much about you.
156
00:06:26,589 --> 00:06:29,123
Oh, well,
he did have a little thing for me
157
00:06:29,191 --> 00:06:30,391
- back in high school.
- Yeah.
158
00:06:30,459 --> 00:06:31,759
I guess he's got a type.
159
00:06:31,827 --> 00:06:34,434
Stop it! Stop it. I am nothing like...
160
00:06:34,469 --> 00:06:36,063
Well, if you don't mind, actually,
I'd like to come in?
161
00:06:36,132 --> 00:06:38,432
Uh, I got to see man about a horse.
162
00:06:38,501 --> 00:06:39,933
But we don't have...
163
00:06:40,002 --> 00:06:42,302
That's a classy way of saying
I got to make my bladder gladder.
164
00:06:42,371 --> 00:06:45,372
Bathroom! Uh, yes... Uh, end
of the hall on... on the right. Yep.
165
00:06:45,975 --> 00:06:47,608
Oh, and the Teen Vogues
are our daughter's!
166
00:06:47,676 --> 00:06:50,778
We don't even know who Demi Lovato is!
167
00:06:50,846 --> 00:06:52,379
Okay, how did Larry get out again?
168
00:06:52,448 --> 00:06:56,550
God, it must've been your sister.
So, guess who is in the bathroom.
169
00:06:56,619 --> 00:06:58,886
Oh, well, my surprise was just candles,
but I'm not saying no.
170
00:06:58,954 --> 00:07:00,821
No, uh...It's Bo.
171
00:07:00,890 --> 00:07:01,989
- My Bo?
- No...
172
00:07:02,058 --> 00:07:03,791
Well, technically, he's...
he's more Pam's Bo,
173
00:07:03,859 --> 00:07:05,125
and I am your Mitchell.
174
00:07:05,194 --> 00:07:07,694
But yes. Yeah, he's here to take Pam
and the baby home!
175
00:07:07,763 --> 00:07:09,730
I mean, how great is that?
176
00:07:09,799 --> 00:07:10,864
BO: Cameron Tucker!
177
00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:14,068
Get the hell out of my house.
Close those arms.
178
00:07:14,136 --> 00:07:15,402
Come on, Cam.
179
00:07:15,471 --> 00:07:17,404
- Yeah, come on, Cam.
- No.
180
00:07:17,473 --> 00:07:20,074
You are not getting
anywhere near my sister.
181
00:07:20,142 --> 00:07:21,642
Now get out!
182
00:07:22,478 --> 00:07:23,677
Hmm?
183
00:07:23,746 --> 00:07:25,179
Let's go! Get out!
184
00:07:25,247 --> 00:07:26,947
Uh, won't he just wait for Pam outside?
185
00:07:27,016 --> 00:07:28,615
- I mean... Okay, you know...
- Come back in!
186
00:07:28,684 --> 00:07:30,884
- [LARRY MEOWS]
- Great. There goes Larry again.
187
00:07:30,953 --> 00:07:33,487
You know, I'm starting to think
he's unhappy living here.
188
00:07:35,059 --> 00:07:37,225
Good. Good.
189
00:07:37,294 --> 00:07:41,095
Uh, no Velcro. Our brand
is a little more upscale.
190
00:07:41,164 --> 00:07:42,563
[LAPTOP BEEPS]
191
00:07:43,411 --> 00:07:46,601
Uh-oh. Another buyer is tired
of seeing the same feet.
192
00:07:46,670 --> 00:07:49,937
Oh, it's my fault now? What's he
doing to keep things interesting?
193
00:07:50,473 --> 00:07:52,206
Why do I care?
194
00:07:52,909 --> 00:07:54,475
I'm surprised you were open to this.
195
00:07:54,544 --> 00:07:56,150
I'm surprised you know how to do this.
196
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:59,314
Don't forget, we have to get
over to mom's work to ship shoes later.
197
00:07:59,382 --> 00:08:01,316
Wait a second, you're using Mom's FedEx?
198
00:08:01,384 --> 00:08:03,518
Every time she and Dad
have a fancy night out,
199
00:08:03,586 --> 00:08:05,653
she uses the hashtag
"Luke's college fund."
200
00:08:05,722 --> 00:08:07,155
So, yeah, I'm using her account.
201
00:08:08,558 --> 00:08:09,991
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
202
00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:12,760
Is there something you're not
telling me about this house?
203
00:08:12,829 --> 00:08:14,762
I am kind of getting a murdery vibe.
204
00:08:14,831 --> 00:08:16,631
The only killing that's ever gonna
happen in this house
205
00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:18,299
is the one that's gonna happen
when you sell the place.
206
00:08:18,368 --> 00:08:19,667
[CHUCKLES]
207
00:08:19,736 --> 00:08:21,703
Laughter makes the spirits hungry, Phil!
208
00:08:21,771 --> 00:08:23,771
Spirits? You means
there's more than one?
209
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,907
- [CELLPHONE RINGING]
- Oh. Hi, Gil.
210
00:08:25,975 --> 00:08:27,842
Wait. No. Uh, Gil?
211
00:08:27,911 --> 00:08:29,277
[CLEARS THROAT] Hey, Glo?
212
00:08:29,346 --> 00:08:31,312
Um... [COUGHS]
213
00:08:31,381 --> 00:08:32,847
Uh, super stoked you're here.
214
00:08:32,916 --> 00:08:34,716
If... if I could give you one tiny note?
215
00:08:34,784 --> 00:08:37,185
Mrs. Graham's terror level,
which should be going down,
216
00:08:37,253 --> 00:08:38,920
- is actually going up.
- Mine too.
217
00:08:38,988 --> 00:08:40,855
Actually, I'm panicking right now!
218
00:08:40,924 --> 00:08:43,491
I can't believe
what I'm sensing right now!
219
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:47,295
There is like, a humming sound,
vibrations, fear!
220
00:08:47,364 --> 00:08:48,830
I'm pretty sure that's all
coming off of me,
221
00:08:48,898 --> 00:08:50,531
because I'm about to lose
a sale I really need.
222
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,934
How about this?
Just... just spin it a little.
223
00:08:53,002 --> 00:08:54,635
What are you asking me to do?
224
00:08:54,704 --> 00:08:57,839
In real estate, there are no dumps.
There are fixer-uppers.
225
00:08:57,907 --> 00:09:01,142
A small house is cozy.
How do we know this presence is bad?
226
00:09:01,211 --> 00:09:03,544
What about Casper? Or the Holy Ghost?
People love those guys...
227
00:09:03,613 --> 00:09:04,846
- Phil.
- Hey!
228
00:09:04,914 --> 00:09:06,280
It's bad, isn't it?
229
00:09:06,349 --> 00:09:08,416
No, it's... it's actually really good.
230
00:09:08,485 --> 00:09:10,585
Um, Gloria was just saying
she's making real progress.
231
00:09:10,653 --> 00:09:11,919
- Right, Gloria?
- I'm sorry,
232
00:09:11,988 --> 00:09:13,921
but there is a disturbing
presence in this house
233
00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:15,690
that I don't think that I can drive out.
234
00:09:15,759 --> 00:09:18,426
Well, that is it for me.
Phil, please let me know
235
00:09:18,495 --> 00:09:20,395
if you find something less haunted,
236
00:09:20,463 --> 00:09:22,830
still within walking distance
to my psychic.
237
00:09:24,901 --> 00:09:27,034
We'll be right back.
Bo, you want some iced tea?
238
00:09:27,103 --> 00:09:28,169
That'd be great. Thank you.
239
00:09:28,238 --> 00:09:31,305
No, you are not giving him iced tea.
This is not a garden party.
240
00:09:31,374 --> 00:09:33,107
But he did come all this way
to make things right.
241
00:09:33,176 --> 00:09:35,884
And you know what, Cam?
Prison changes people.
242
00:09:35,919 --> 00:09:38,146
- Oh, does it?
- Always. In a good and permanent way.
243
00:09:38,214 --> 00:09:39,514
- Ohh.
- I mean, look at him...
244
00:09:39,582 --> 00:09:42,583
No. Do not look at him. He is a siren.
245
00:09:42,652 --> 00:09:44,485
He draws you in with those
big beautiful blue eyes,
246
00:09:44,554 --> 00:09:46,220
and the next thing you know,
you're giving him
247
00:09:46,289 --> 00:09:47,889
your great-grandfather's
Civil War bayonet
248
00:09:47,957 --> 00:09:49,923
and he's selling it for Magic Beans.
249
00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:52,160
It's the brand of whiskey he drinks.
250
00:09:52,228 --> 00:09:54,762
I just... I think he deserves
a second chance.
251
00:09:54,831 --> 00:09:57,398
Why do you suddenly care so much
if Pam and Bo are back together?
252
00:09:57,467 --> 00:10:01,202
I'm a divorce lawyer, Cam.
I see families torn apart all the time.
253
00:10:01,271 --> 00:10:04,172
- The emotional cost is just too high.
- Oh.
254
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,140
The cost of everything is too high!
255
00:10:06,209 --> 00:10:09,143
Look, Pam made her bed.
Now she needs to get out of it
256
00:10:09,212 --> 00:10:12,079
so I can flip the mattress
to make some money off of it.
257
00:10:12,148 --> 00:10:14,215
Sounded more pimpy than I intended.
258
00:10:14,284 --> 00:10:15,450
Mm.
259
00:10:15,518 --> 00:10:17,718
Maybe Pam doesn't want
to live upstairs anymore.
260
00:10:17,787 --> 00:10:20,121
Maybe she wants to go with him
to Missouri.
261
00:10:20,190 --> 00:10:22,356
Or maybe you don't want Pam
to live upstairs
262
00:10:22,425 --> 00:10:24,091
and you want her to go home to Missouri.
263
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,594
I couldn't help but overhear,
since we're practically in the same room
264
00:10:26,663 --> 00:10:29,497
and you ain't exactly whispering...
Can I say something on my behalf?
265
00:10:29,566 --> 00:10:31,966
No, you may not!
Because if you cared about my sister,
266
00:10:32,035 --> 00:10:34,101
you would've been here
the moment baby Calhoun was born!
267
00:10:34,170 --> 00:10:36,871
I know, but when I got out of jail
for punching that police horse,
268
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:40,475
I discovered my truck had been towed.
I had to sell my plasma for cash.
269
00:10:40,543 --> 00:10:42,376
He thinks of others. Very noble.
270
00:10:42,445 --> 00:10:46,047
All I'm hearing is no car, no money,
compromised immune system.
271
00:10:46,115 --> 00:10:48,249
What a great role model.
And yes, he could be a model,
272
00:10:48,318 --> 00:10:51,586
but I will not be distracted
by those beautiful big blue eyes.
273
00:10:51,654 --> 00:10:54,522
Cam, I get it, all right?
I made a lot of mistakes.
274
00:10:54,591 --> 00:10:58,392
But like my plasma,
I decided to "B-positive."
275
00:10:58,461 --> 00:11:02,396
I hitchhiked, I took odd jobs,
whatever I could do to get here.
276
00:11:02,465 --> 00:11:05,366
I mean, Pam, our boy Calhoun,
they're my family.
277
00:11:05,435 --> 00:11:09,237
Hell, you're my family.
278
00:11:09,305 --> 00:11:11,539
Okay, I want to believe you, Bo,
but, yeah, I just...
279
00:11:11,608 --> 00:11:12,874
yeah, I've been burned too many times.
280
00:11:12,942 --> 00:11:14,542
About that...
I got something to show you.
281
00:11:15,678 --> 00:11:16,744
[BAG UNZIPS]
282
00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:20,548
[GASPS]
283
00:11:20,617 --> 00:11:23,351
Old Stonewall Tucker
would've wanted you to have this back.
284
00:11:23,419 --> 00:11:24,619
Oh, Stonewall.
285
00:11:24,687 --> 00:11:26,487
I'm guessing his statue's
no longer in the park.
286
00:11:26,556 --> 00:11:28,956
I thought you sold this.
Welp, that was the old Bo.
287
00:11:29,025 --> 00:11:31,692
The new Bo saved up
and bought it back for you.
288
00:11:31,761 --> 00:11:32,762
- See?
- Believe me,
289
00:11:32,829 --> 00:11:34,562
I'm trying to do the right thing.
290
00:11:35,598 --> 00:11:38,598
- Hey...
- Oh, Bo...
291
00:11:39,102 --> 00:11:41,101
What the hell is he doing here?!
292
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,794
Now, Pameron, Bo came back for you
and baby Calhoun!
293
00:11:43,863 --> 00:11:45,496
Yeah, just... just give him
a chance, okay?
294
00:11:45,565 --> 00:11:49,500
Oh, my gosh. Is this him?
Is... is that my boy?
295
00:11:49,569 --> 00:11:52,069
No. This is my car
and I have a little tiny driver.
296
00:11:52,138 --> 00:11:54,405
Of course it's him!
You stay away from us,
297
00:11:54,473 --> 00:11:56,340
- Beauregard Lavern Johnson!
- Come on...
298
00:11:56,409 --> 00:11:58,943
And stop undressing me
with your devil blue eyes!
299
00:11:59,011 --> 00:12:01,745
Okay, You know what?
I'll... I'll go... I'll go talk to her.
300
00:12:03,549 --> 00:12:04,549
Oof.
301
00:12:04,617 --> 00:12:07,418
Hey, thank you for pleading my case
back there with Cam.
302
00:12:07,486 --> 00:12:09,153
I can tell, you're good lawyer.
303
00:12:09,222 --> 00:12:12,389
And I can tell you are a good man.
I am team Bo all the way.
304
00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:13,791
[CHUCKLING] All right, good.
305
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,659
'Cause I... I might need
some legal counsel.
306
00:12:15,728 --> 00:12:17,394
See, I... I didn't buy
that bayonet back,
307
00:12:17,463 --> 00:12:18,729
so much as I stole it.
308
00:12:18,798 --> 00:12:20,231
Oh, dear.
309
00:12:20,299 --> 00:12:22,733
[FLOOR RATTLING]
310
00:12:22,802 --> 00:12:23,868
JAY: Excuse me, everyone!
311
00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:25,936
As founder of this company,
312
00:12:26,005 --> 00:12:28,539
which I built
with my own sweat and tears,
313
00:12:28,608 --> 00:12:29,940
I'd like to say a few words.
314
00:12:30,009 --> 00:12:31,308
Before going into the future,
315
00:12:31,377 --> 00:12:33,177
it's important we honor how we got here.
316
00:12:33,246 --> 00:12:34,845
So I put together a little presentation.
317
00:12:34,914 --> 00:12:36,847
Dad, we're having ice cream.
318
00:12:36,916 --> 00:12:39,783
They can lick and watch.
Ponytail, lights.
319
00:12:42,889 --> 00:12:44,321
[INSPIRATIONAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]
320
00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:46,490
JAY: 1946.
321
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:49,493
An iron curtain
was descending over Europe.
322
00:12:49,562 --> 00:12:52,730
But in Youngstown, Ohio,
a child is born.
323
00:12:52,798 --> 00:12:55,799
While young Jay Pritchett
was superstar athlete,
324
00:12:55,868 --> 00:12:57,368
he was also an artist
325
00:12:57,436 --> 00:13:00,004
who dreamed of revolutionizing
an industry...
326
00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,372
closets.
327
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,274
He just couldn't let me have my day.
328
00:13:03,342 --> 00:13:06,810
He had to make it all about him.
It was disgusting.
329
00:13:06,879 --> 00:13:07,945
Although...
330
00:13:08,014 --> 00:13:11,348
the scene of him playing his father
denying him a startup loan?
331
00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:13,918
Surprisingly powerful.
332
00:13:13,986 --> 00:13:16,020
JAY: While America was doing the Hustle,
333
00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:18,222
Jay as hustling to build an empire,
334
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,391
which is why one newspaper called him
335
00:13:20,459 --> 00:13:22,693
"the hardest working man in closets."
336
00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:24,628
That was an ad.
337
00:13:24,697 --> 00:13:27,598
JAY: Who would've thought the company,
built by that little boy,
338
00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:31,735
would one day be the toast
of the international closet world?
339
00:13:31,804 --> 00:13:35,172
Congratulations. We did it.
340
00:13:35,241 --> 00:13:36,707
[GLASSES CLINK]
341
00:13:36,776 --> 00:13:38,075
Margaret's mixing some drinks.
342
00:13:40,379 --> 00:13:41,845
Enjoy the afternoon.
343
00:13:41,914 --> 00:13:43,180
- Nice!
- Thank you.
344
00:13:43,249 --> 00:13:44,748
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
345
00:13:46,212 --> 00:13:48,111
Okay, Mrs. Graham's car is on its way!
346
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,546
You have five minutes
to convince her that this house is fine!
347
00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:53,516
- Something's in this wall, Phil.
- No, I am done with this nonsense!
348
00:13:53,585 --> 00:13:56,219
I can't believe I'm hearing this
from a person that believes in magic!
349
00:13:56,287 --> 00:14:00,055
I'm not the one who told you this,
but magic isn't actually magic.
350
00:14:00,304 --> 00:14:03,639
- That didn't come from your ear.
- What? How?
351
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:06,169
You're with them.
352
00:14:06,238 --> 00:14:07,737
There is no "them," Gloria.
353
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:10,140
Everybody says "What? How?"
to that trick.
354
00:14:10,208 --> 00:14:12,375
That's how magic works.
Things that seem supernatural
355
00:14:12,444 --> 00:14:14,144
actually have a perfectly
logical explanation.
356
00:14:14,212 --> 00:14:17,747
This wall is warm, Phil.
It's radiating evil.
357
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:20,517
It is not radiating evil...
Oh, that is warm.
358
00:14:20,585 --> 00:14:22,619
- Oh!
- What was that?
359
00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,320
- Faulty wiring, Phil?!
- How dare you?
360
00:14:24,389 --> 00:14:28,725
I would never sell a house
with faulty wiring!
361
00:14:28,793 --> 00:14:30,160
You can hear that, right?
362
00:14:30,228 --> 00:14:31,861
[WHISPERING] You made them angry.
363
00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:34,531
I don't believe in any of this!
But just in case...
364
00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:37,167
- What is this? Holy water?
- No.
365
00:14:37,235 --> 00:14:40,336
Cucumber water.
You think this skin just happens?
366
00:14:40,405 --> 00:14:43,139
Okay... okay.
The sellers are on their way home.
367
00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:44,807
Let's just put everything back
the way we found it
368
00:14:44,876 --> 00:14:46,109
and maybe swing by a church.
369
00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:47,944
Come on!
370
00:14:49,114 --> 00:14:50,513
- Ohh!
- [SCREAMS]
371
00:14:50,582 --> 00:14:52,749
- [INSECTS BUZZING]
- Oh, my God! Bees!
372
00:14:52,817 --> 00:14:55,752
Oh! Go! Go, go, go, go, go, go!
373
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:58,254
Good news, Mrs. Graham, it's only bees!
374
00:14:58,323 --> 00:15:01,925
I'll follow up with the escrow
documents! Congrats! Ow!
375
00:15:01,993 --> 00:15:03,126
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
376
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:06,296
Hey. So, that was a fun movie, Dad.
377
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:08,665
Kind of made it all about you, though.
378
00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:10,800
Nonsense. Try a Jay-tini.
379
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:12,001
I'm good. [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
380
00:15:12,070 --> 00:15:13,636
Congratulations on the Expo, boss.
381
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,004
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
382
00:15:15,073 --> 00:15:16,573
I think that what's her name
was talking to me.
383
00:15:16,641 --> 00:15:18,241
Oh? [SCOFFS]
384
00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:20,843
Oh, Margaret,
what are my kids doing here?
385
00:15:20,912 --> 00:15:23,012
Oh, the kids have been using
the company shipping.
386
00:15:23,081 --> 00:15:24,948
They've been coming in for weeks.
387
00:15:25,016 --> 00:15:26,683
I am so drunk.
388
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,518
[WHISPERING] Am I screaming?
389
00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:29,552
[SCOFFS]
390
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:32,956
What do you two think you're doing?
391
00:15:33,024 --> 00:15:35,091
Oh, uh... We just came
to congratulate you
392
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,392
on that thing that happened.
393
00:15:36,461 --> 00:15:37,961
- Try again.
- LUKE: Fine.
394
00:15:38,029 --> 00:15:40,363
But there's no nice wayto say this.
I started a company
395
00:15:40,432 --> 00:15:43,299
selling Alex's disgusting,
smelly shoes to feet freaks.
396
00:15:43,368 --> 00:15:46,035
- Wow, that is so gross!
- More like gutsy.
397
00:15:46,104 --> 00:15:48,605
You got to get your hands dirty
to build a company from the ground up.
398
00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:51,574
- I'm proud of you, Luke.
- Uh, hold on.
399
00:15:51,643 --> 00:15:53,309
It was my idea to start
buying thrift-store shoes.
400
00:15:53,378 --> 00:15:55,612
I expanded the business
and doubled our profits.
401
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,013
You see what Alex did?
402
00:15:57,082 --> 00:16:00,283
She grew the business.
She took it to the next level.
403
00:16:00,352 --> 00:16:02,619
She was able to achieve
what Luke couldn't
404
00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:04,254
despite years of trying.
405
00:16:04,322 --> 00:16:05,355
It's really only been a few...
406
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:06,556
You can't grow what doesn't exist!
407
00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:08,891
Okay. Well, they're on their thing now.
Just walk away.
408
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,127
Do you know how long
I've been with this company?
409
00:16:11,195 --> 00:16:12,195
Seven presidents.
410
00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:14,664
And four popes.
Yes, Dad, I saw the movie.
411
00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:16,466
Couldn't you just let me have today?
412
00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:18,434
- Why didn't you call me?
- What are you talking about?
413
00:16:18,503 --> 00:16:19,969
This morning. When you got the big news.
414
00:16:20,038 --> 00:16:22,672
I mean, am I not a part of this anymore?
Is that what's going on here?
415
00:16:22,741 --> 00:16:25,574
I didn't call you because I was waiting
for you to call me and say,
416
00:16:25,578 --> 00:16:28,378
"Congratulations, you did it, honey."
417
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:31,180
Instead, I had to come here
and watch "Lawrence of A-Jay-bia."
418
00:16:31,249 --> 00:16:32,290
How else would anybody
419
00:16:32,315 --> 00:16:33,616
- know I even existed?
- What?
420
00:16:33,685 --> 00:16:36,052
I spent my entire career
trying to get in the Expo,
421
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,587
and you come in
and get it done in 2 years.
422
00:16:37,656 --> 00:16:40,356
[SIGHS] Come on, it goes without saying
423
00:16:40,425 --> 00:16:42,458
that this company would be
nothing without you.
424
00:16:42,527 --> 00:16:43,760
- No, it doesn't.
- Hmm?
425
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:45,328
- Let me hear you say it.
- Seriously?
426
00:16:45,397 --> 00:16:46,796
Yes. I want to hear it.
427
00:16:47,899 --> 00:16:49,065
[CLEARS THROAT]
428
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:53,703
Dad, if it weren't for you,
we wouldn't be where we are today.
429
00:16:53,772 --> 00:16:57,740
All of your hard work
laid the foundation for our success.
430
00:16:59,377 --> 00:17:00,710
Now you.
431
00:17:00,779 --> 00:17:02,211
Well, if I say it,
it'll sound a little conceited.
432
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,214
No, not about you! About me!
433
00:17:05,283 --> 00:17:07,383
It's...
434
00:17:07,452 --> 00:17:08,785
an unbelievable accomplishment.
435
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:11,087
You've exceeded all my expectations,
436
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:13,690
which were ridiculously high
to begin with.
437
00:17:13,758 --> 00:17:15,525
The company could not be
in better hands.
438
00:17:15,593 --> 00:17:17,960
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
439
00:17:18,029 --> 00:17:19,195
Thanks, Dad.
440
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:21,931
Okay, let's just agree
441
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,668
that your heart was in the right place
giving Cam back his bayonet.
442
00:17:25,737 --> 00:17:27,870
But knowing
what a decent person you are,
443
00:17:27,939 --> 00:17:29,205
I'm sure you're planning on...
444
00:17:29,274 --> 00:17:30,406
- [POUNDING ON DOOR]
- HEATHER: Bo, open this door!
445
00:17:30,475 --> 00:17:32,542
- [POUNDING CONTINUES]
- Bo!
446
00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:33,810
Bo...
447
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,778
How long you expect me
to wait out there in the car?
448
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,680
Oh, God, please tell me
this is your cab driver.
449
00:17:37,749 --> 00:17:40,550
I'm Heather.
It's like feather, but with an "h"?
450
00:17:40,618 --> 00:17:41,624
I'm familiar with the name.
451
00:17:41,653 --> 00:17:43,553
Uh, I'll be right out, sweetie.
452
00:17:43,621 --> 00:17:45,888
I'm just finishing up with my client.
453
00:17:45,957 --> 00:17:47,890
Okay, Mr. Pringle,
you can expect delivery
454
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:50,626
of one male and one female chinchilla
in the next...
455
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,363
Phew. Good. She's gone. [CHUCKLING]
456
00:17:53,431 --> 00:17:55,331
Can you believe
I just thought of that on the spot?
457
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,133
- Mm.
- [LAUGHING]
458
00:17:57,202 --> 00:18:00,770
I'm not going down there, Cam.
I don't trust myself around him.
459
00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:03,339
I see that face,
I hear that voice, I go all gooey.
460
00:18:03,408 --> 00:18:05,174
You're preaching to
the gay man's choir, here.
461
00:18:05,243 --> 00:18:08,044
But you have to decide for yourself,
and you need to keep a clear head.
462
00:18:08,113 --> 00:18:09,379
You know what? All right.
463
00:18:09,447 --> 00:18:12,048
So, here's a trick that I used
when I was coming of age.
464
00:18:12,117 --> 00:18:14,584
So, I had a little bit of
a self-control problem,
465
00:18:14,652 --> 00:18:16,185
and I would put a rubber band
around my wrist
466
00:18:16,254 --> 00:18:19,589
and flick it every time
I got the urge to...flick it.
467
00:18:19,657 --> 00:18:20,757
Ew!
468
00:18:20,825 --> 00:18:22,358
You used to snap one of those like crazy
469
00:18:22,427 --> 00:18:23,893
whenever we watched "Dukes of Hazzard."
470
00:18:23,962 --> 00:18:26,896
Yeah. I got through all seven seasons...
zero incidents.
471
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,234
Okay. Say your piece.
472
00:18:31,302 --> 00:18:34,070
But I'll tell you right now,
I ain't gonna make it easy for you.
473
00:18:34,139 --> 00:18:36,672
You sure look pretty, Pam'n'cheese.
474
00:18:38,643 --> 00:18:40,410
Oh, Bo...
475
00:18:40,478 --> 00:18:43,346
- Come here.
- Mm!
476
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:45,982
- We did that.
- Yeah. Yeah, we did.
477
00:18:46,050 --> 00:18:47,483
I know I don't deserve you,
478
00:18:47,552 --> 00:18:49,519
but if you and Cal will have me,
479
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:53,823
I promise to spend every day of my life
proving that I am worthy.
480
00:18:53,892 --> 00:18:57,260
Oh, my God! Look at this beautiful ring!
481
00:18:57,328 --> 00:18:59,028
It's just so perfect...
482
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,929
Who's Heather?
483
00:19:02,033 --> 00:19:04,600
Oh, that's the name
of the jeweler I bought it from.
484
00:19:04,669 --> 00:19:06,869
Heather's Rings and... Things.
485
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:10,640
Okay! Nope! Mnh-mnh! Nope!
No, even I can't spin this anymore.
486
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:13,810
All right. Bo is a disaster, okay?
He... he hasn't changed one bit.
487
00:19:13,878 --> 00:19:17,180
He is a liar, he is a thief,
he is a day drinker, he...
488
00:19:17,248 --> 00:19:18,781
He stole that ring from Heather,
489
00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:20,917
who's waiting outside for him
in case you say no.
490
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:22,585
Hey! You can't say any of that!
491
00:19:22,654 --> 00:19:24,687
That's attorney-client privilege!
492
00:19:24,756 --> 00:19:25,922
He's also an idiot.
493
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,957
Look, okay, I am not letting you and Cal
494
00:19:28,026 --> 00:19:29,492
go anywhere near him, all right?
495
00:19:29,561 --> 00:19:32,762
I cannot believe I got drawn in
by those big beautiful blue eyes again.
496
00:19:32,831 --> 00:19:34,664
Get out of my house.
497
00:19:34,732 --> 00:19:37,166
Well, it's not really
up to you, now is it?
498
00:19:37,235 --> 00:19:39,569
What you think, Pamburger?
499
00:19:40,037 --> 00:19:41,971
Well, I...
500
00:19:42,207 --> 00:19:43,572
- [RUBBER BAND THWACKS]
- Ow.
501
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,042
Get the hell out!
502
00:19:48,179 --> 00:19:51,681
[SIGHS] Fine. I'm glad I left
the air conditioning on for Heather.
503
00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,153
- CAMERON: Oh...
- MITCHELL: Oh...
504
00:19:57,222 --> 00:19:58,387
I even got...
505
00:19:58,456 --> 00:20:00,022
- Ow!
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
506
00:20:00,091 --> 00:20:01,357
- Thanks, Mitchell...
- Yeah.
507
00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:03,159
- ...for taking care of me like that.
- Hey, hey.
508
00:20:03,228 --> 00:20:06,045
You have a home here
as long as you need it, okay?
509
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:08,397
Aww, Mitchell, you really are
looking out for my sister.
510
00:20:08,466 --> 00:20:09,866
And you know what, Pam?
511
00:20:09,934 --> 00:20:11,400
As long as you're gonna be staying here
for a little while,
512
00:20:11,469 --> 00:20:14,270
you got to mind the door a little
better. Larry keeps getting out.
513
00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:16,539
- Say "Larry" one more time.
- Okay.
514
00:20:18,242 --> 00:20:19,275
[WHISPERING] Larry.
515
00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:22,321
- I told you not to say...
- Get off of me!
516
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:26,920
Ahhh, your mother called you
about the screening of my film.
517
00:20:26,945 --> 00:20:28,431
- Uh...
- She blew us off,
518
00:20:28,456 --> 00:20:30,713
some lame excuse about
being attacked by bees.
519
00:20:30,738 --> 00:20:32,698
Oh what the hell, let's start.
520
00:20:34,835 --> 00:20:36,189
What are you doing over there?
521
00:20:36,214 --> 00:20:40,300
What are you doing up there?
Is that you with Lady Bird Johnson?
522
00:20:40,325 --> 00:20:44,664
Sure is. I was Closet Magazine's
"Movers and Groovers to Watch."
523
00:20:44,689 --> 00:20:47,464
She did the keynote,
complimented my mustache...
524
00:20:47,489 --> 00:20:50,444
- Heady times.
- What's with all that news footage?
525
00:20:50,469 --> 00:20:52,762
Well, historical context is important.
526
00:20:52,787 --> 00:20:55,296
Post-Watergate, people
wanted transparency,
527
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,616
hence the glass closet.
528
00:20:56,732 --> 00:20:59,380
Now, let me explain
why my shirt is off in the next shot.
529
00:20:59,405 --> 00:21:04,405
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
42114
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