All language subtitles for Lost in Space 1965 03x12 A Day at the Zoo.eng

Will, what are you
doing here?

Just waitin' for lunch.

Lunch?
Now, stop that, dear.

I thought you were
with Dr. Smith.

Mom, I can't sleep in the
daytime like he does.

Anyway,
you know Dr. Smith.

Hey, what are we having for lunch?
I'm starved. [ Loud Boom ]

What was that?

I don't know.
There's nothing in the sky.

Maybe it was an asteroid
or a spaceship.

Where is Dr. Smith?

I'll take you to him.
Come on.

He's over here.

Will you please stop playing with
the lights, whoever you are?

[Sighs] Dr. Smith.

Um, yes, madam?

Two hours ago

I told you Don and the
girls were going out

collecting plant
and mineral specimens.

Isn't that right?

Yes. I do seem to recall
some mention of that.

And I also asked if you would
please send the Robot out

to help them carry back
anything that was too heavy.

Yes. Yes, of course.

Then what is he
doing there?

I have received no orders.

Tattletale.

Come on, Dr. Smith.
I'll help you find them.

You'd better hurry.

Just you wait!

Hi. Did you find
any plants?

Not a one. I don't think
Penny's finding any either.

We split up so we could cover
as much area as possible.

[ Loud Boom ]

What was it?
An eclipse?

No. It was much too
close for an eclipse.

I think we'd better
get back to the spaceship.

But what about Penny?

We'll find her
on the way back.

We don't have to
wait for the Robot.

No.

Oh, it's a daffodil,
just like on Earth.

Only it isn't real.
It's made of paper.

Judy?

[Growls]

Who are you?

[Anxious Grunting]

I wasn't gonna pick it.
[Anxious Grunting Continues]

You want me to go away?

[Affirmative Grunting ]

Yes. I think I will,
thank you.

[Anxious Grunting
Resumes] [Screams] Ow!

Let go of me!

You want me to...
You want me to go that way?

No. I didn't do anything, and
I'll just go back the way I came!

[ Desperate Grunting]

[Screams]

[Continues Screaming]

Oggo! What the devil are you doing here?
Get back inside!

[Anxious Grunting]
Who said that?

[Growls]

Stop!

Stop struggling in there,
you silly little girl.

You can't get away.
You'll only hurt yourself.

Then you'll be spoiled
as an exhibit.

Exhibit?

Of course, Earth girl.
You're mine now.

I trapped you for my zoo.

Zoo?

Penny? Penny?

I thought she'd be
around here somewhere.

Let's go, Penny!

[sighs] Penny!

Penny!

[Judy] Penny? Penny?

Judy. help!

Silence!

Your name is Penny.

Well, then, Penny,
close your eyes.

No, I won’t!

I'm not going to hurt you.

Not until you tell me
who you are

and what you mean by "zoo."

Well, not the silly
little net that you're in.

At the moment,
you're outside my zoo,

but just wait.

Wait until you see
your quarters inside!

Hurry up!
Close your eyes!

Oh, please, sir. I'd much
rather be outside the zoo.

Would you want me to destroy your
friends who are calling you?

No! Please don't hurt them!

Well, then, do as I say.

Yes, sir.

That's it. Tight now.

[Chuckles]

I promise,
this won't hurt a bit.

You're going to love the
quarters I've arranged for you.

Now, are you ready? Hmm?

[Electronic Warbling]

[ Cackles ]

I've got her. I've got her!

There. Isn't that better?

No.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You see,
I'm really quite harmless.

[Chuckles Deviously]

I only use this silly thing
when I trap Homo sapiens.

Most human beings,
I find, are afraid

of loud noises
and bad faces.

You mean you've trapped
other people from Earth?

Well, I used to
exhibit Martians,

but no one seems to believe
in them much anymore.

But, yes, of course I've trapped
other people from Earth.

I'll show you.
I'll prove it to you!

Come with me.

Wait till you see this.

Now, you just
stand right here.

Now, turn around.
That's it.

Uh, that way.

Are you ready?

[Electronic Warbling,
High-frequency Tone]

[Grunts]

He's an old-fashioned knight in armor.
[Chuckles]

Yes. Of course, my dear. I snatched
him out of your Middle Ages.

His name is Mort.

Now, wait until you see
this dear, sweet thing.

[High-frequency Tone]

[Harpsichord]

Oh, I think I've seen her
before someplace. [Chuckles]

Excuse me, miss...
Not now, my dear. Later.

I'm afraid Mrs. Whistler's
rather hard of hearing,

but you do see
how happy she looks, hmm?

But if that knight's
from the Middle Ages

and she's from
the 19th century...

Yes, I know. Time and space
mean absolutely nothing to me.

Why, I've collected specimens

from all ages
of human development.

You see,
l am the great Farnum B.,
showman of the cosmos,

sole proprietor
of the one and only

traveling zoo
in all the heavens.

I'm sorry, Mr. Farnum, but I'm
not very pleased to meet you.

Oh.

Oh, well. Just you wait
until you see your room!

Come along, my dear!

This way.

Now, here we are. Hmm?

[Electronic Warbling]

Your room!

My room?
It doesn't look like much.

Oh!

Wait. Just you wait, Penny.

You'll be safe here. No more
struggling for survival.

Why, here you can have
anything you want forever.

You see, you'll be exhibited
in your natural habitat.

[High-frequency Tone]

Ta-da! Earth girl,
20th century.

[Electronic Warbling]

[High-frequency Tone]

[High-frequency Tone]

[Farnum ] Not bad, huh?

[ Chuckles]
Just like home.

This was way back
in Grandmother's time.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

A few minor adjustments
may be necessary.

Um, Mr. Farnum?

What?

How did you do all this?

Oh. Oh, well,
this is nothing.

Wait till you taste
the food in my zoo.

Mmm. Yummy.

And you can have anything you
like, anything you can think of.

And there are no germs here
and air so pure

you'll live for
hundreds of...

Uh, go on, Mr. Farnum.

Years.

There's only one thing,
my dear.

You must never,
ever try to deceive me,

like you, you ungrateful
little brat, you!

You thing!
Give me that!

Can't even steal properly without
making a mess of it. Oh!

What have you been doing with my
control box? [Confused Grunting]

Get out of here! Get back to your cage!
Do you hear me?

Get back to your cage,
or I'll ship you home,

home to your filthy jungle!

Out!
No! Please don't hurt him!

Oh, don't worry, my dear.
I would never hurt him.

But don't you tell him that.
[Chuckles]

Blasted prehistoric nuisance.

Do you know that
he's my most valuable exhibit?

You mean he's from Earth too?

But of course!

The only Stone Age
cave boy in captivity!

The one and only authentic...
[ Beeping ]

[Beeping Continues, Louder]

Well, no wonder. One of
my traps is buzzing.

Look at that!

What?
[Shrieks]

I've caught another one!

Oh! [Laughs Heartily]

Oh, galloping galaxies!
[ High-frequency Tone]

This is my lucky day!

Where are we?

I don't know.

[Whip Cracks]

Both of you, back!

Now, look here, mister.

[Whip Cracks]
Do as I say! Get back!

Mort!

What in the name of...

[Farnum Chuckles Deviously]

Be careful, my boy.
He'll tear you asunder.

Better call him off,
mister.

That medieval armor's
no match against this.

[Judy Shrieks]

Oh, stop struggling, you silly fool.
It won't do you any good.

Mort here is one of my
finest exhibits,

the original Sir Mordred,
who killed your King Arthur.

Mort! Bring them along!

[Farnum ] Put them in this
empty cell next to Penny's.

[High-frequency Tone]

Hurry, Mort!
We've got to get going.

Get going? Where?

Oh, dear. I hope I'm not going
to have trouble with that one.

But you'll help me, won't you,
my clear, to keep him calm, hmm?

The trouble with the Homo
sapiens male, I understand,

is that they all used to be boys.
[Shudders]

What's wrong with boys?
Weren't you one once?

Well, of course not!

Where I come from,
we've done away

with that
"growing up" nonsense.

But if it's true you've
caught all kinds of humans,

you must have had
lots of experience.

Are you calling me
a fraud, Penny?

I'll have you know
that I have caught hundreds,

literally thousands,
of human beings.

And the only one I have
any trouble with is Oggo,

and do you know why?

Because he's a boy.
So there. Hmm.

I don't see anybody,
Dr. Smith.

Are you sure you set his
direction finders right?

Of course I did.

He's simply not cooperating
today, and that is what it is.

Now, then, you tin-plated
tintinnabulation,

where is the Major?

And Judy? And Penny?

Answer me at once,
do you hear?

[Robot Speaking Gibberish]

Dr. Smith, I think he's
trying to make alarm signals.

[Gibberish Continues]
Alarm signals, my foot.

I see nothing to be
alarmed about.

Actually, this is one
of the most pleasant areas

I have ever been in.

[Gibberish ]

Ah, yes,
it's perfectly charming.

But Dr. Smith...

Hush, William. Will you stop
cackling, you cantankerous clod?

William, look!
How lovely!

What a lovely daffodil
for your mother.

Dr. Smith, where'd you go?

Dr. Smith, where...
Let go of me!

Let me go!

William!
William, where are we?

Let me go!

Silence!

Ho-ho!

I've hit the jackpot!

Who's that thing?

That's Dr. Smith.

"Thing" indeed.
How dare you, sir!

No, no, no. The other thing.

Our Robot.

Mort!

Do your duty.

No, no.
Wait just a moment, sir.

I have a splendid
suggestion to make.

You have?
Yes, I do.

Let them... That is to say,
this one and that one,

let them joust.

Let them what?

Joust.

You know, as when knighthood
was in flower.

Well, I, uh...

It's really quite simple, sir.
I shall explain it to you.

If your knight wins,
why, then,

you have us at your mercy.

Howsoever, if our Robot
emerges victorious,

you will grant us
our freedom.

What do you say,
my dear sir?

Is it agreed?

[Buzzing ] Well, why not?

[Chuckles Deviously]

It's a bargain. [Spits]

Mort, please, try not to
damage him too much.

He'll make such
a lovely exhibit.

Take him, my dear friend. Take
him, my bosom companion. Take him!

[Whispering]
Hit him! Slug him!

[ Dr. Smith Gasps]

[Bell Dings]

[Robot Yelling
Threateningly]

[Yelling Continues]

[Metal Crashing]

[ Cackling ]

Now, you stupid
Earth creatures...

Now do you believe that I,
Farnum B.,

am the greatest showman
of the cosmos?

Perhaps one or two of my
exhibits are a bit, uh,

hmm, humbug.

But that's show business,
isn't it?

Mort here is the greatest
robot ever created.

And you, you are
all in my zoo forever.

Oh, and I'll try very, very
hard to make you happy,

or break every bone
in your bodies.

[Laughs Evilly ] Yah!

[ Cackling ]

[Sighs]

Oh, Will,
what are we gonna do?

I don't know.

I'm sure I'd just love to spend
forever in a girl's room.

That's not important.

The trouble is
Mr. Farnum's so smart.

[Simple Melody] It's obvious
he can travel anyplace,

through time,
space, anything.

Well, then why
didn't he bring back

a real knight
from the Middle Ages?

Who cares?

Oh, Will, don't you realize
the spot we're in'?

You wanna be an animal in a zoo
for the rest of your life?

But Penny...
[Crash]

Stop it! Stop it!

Now, you just stop that!

You asked for lamps, didn't you?
I gave them to you.

What are you
throwing them for?

All right,
but give me my laser gun.

Give me a radio!
Major,

I don't understand why you're
carrying on like this.

I give you
almost everything,

and as soon
as I get organized,

I promise you'll all even
have your own private cages.

And on top of that, there's
no danger here, no disease.

All right! Then I'll quit
throwing things.

Oh, good.

[Sighs]

I'm just trying to make you listen to me.
That's all.

Don't you understand?
Trying to make you listen.

So if you'll just step
inside here, maybe we can...

Major, Major, Major.

You have
inferior intelligence.

Don't you know it's
impossible to trick me?

Oh, besides, time to get
this show on the road!

Show on the road?

Yes, of course.

Now that I have you
20th-century specimens,

my exhibit's complete.

Ho-ho! I'll pack them in.
At last, I'll clean up!

Wait! Where are we goin'?

Oh, first a little road trip,
cover several galaxies.

Just as soon as I make certain Dr.
Smith is properly settled,

we'll be blasting off!

Get him in here.

Excuse me, Mr. Farnum.
Please?

Yes, yes, my dear? What is it?
I'm in a terrible hurry.

Well, I just thought
of something else I'd like.

What?

Um, could I please
have a strawberry?

A strawberry? Now?

Well, you said I could
have anything I wanted.

I did?

Oh, yes. So I did.

Well, I think I have time to manage
a little thing like a strawberry.

[Electronic Warbling]

I thought you were going
to ask for something...

Something
much more difficult,

something like
an artichoke.

Close your eyes.
Open your mouth.

Now, there's a real,
live strawberry. There!

How's that?
Mmm. It's delicious!

Oh, good. Here.
Have another.

[Groans] It's yellow.

Yes. Of course.
Isn't it lovely?

It's supposed to be red.

Oh.

Well, never mind.

Mmm.

A few minor adjustments.

You will be
happy here though.

Just you wait.

[Electronic Warbling]

Ta!

What did you do?

It's an old trick.

There's a woman over there.

She looked awfully nice,
and she's pretty old,

so I guess she's
been here a long time.

Maybe she can tell us
how to get out.

Yeah. Come on.

There!

Excuse us, please,
Mrs. Whistler.

Hey. ma'am!

Mr. Farnum says
she's a little deaf.

Excuse us, ma'am.

Please. Mrs. Whistler.
[ Shrieks]

She's a fake.

Maybe everything here's a
fake, everything except us.

No. Not Oggo.

Oggo?

The cave boy.

He was even outside
when I got caught.

So he must know the secret.

Oggo can show us
how to get out.

Come on.

I came here to see
if Mort supplied you

with everything
you asked for.

Oh, please.
I'm in a hurry.

What is the matter
with you?

Didn't he arrange your
natural habitat properly?

Yes, indeed.
"My natural habitat."

This is what I'm accustomed to.
This is what I deserve.

Champagne. Fresh caviar.
Howsoever, my dear Mr. Farnum,

there is one rather
important theme

that I remember that
seems to be missing.

How very nice.

Well, just don't throw it at
me like that ungrateful major.

A little pocket money.

My dear Mr. Farnum,

at last I've found
an environment

suitable to my
station in life.

And you have
done it, Excellency!

You are my savior, my leader!

May I congratulate
you for rescuing me

for posterity, for the ages.

You mean you...
You really like my little zoo?

Ask rather do I like
the fountains of youth,

do I like basking on
the shores of heaven.

Do you?
Yes. Yes. Yes, I do.

Oh, dear, oh, dear,
Mr. Farnum,

lam forgetting my manners.

Now, then, sir. May I offer
you some pickled shrimp?

Pheasant under glass?
Rare roast beef?

Don't you understand?
Home.

Wouldn't you like to go back where
you came from, back to your jungle?

[Anxious Grunting]

I guess that prehistoric
jungle of his wasn't so hot.

I think he's been
living with Mr. Farnum

ever since
he was a little boy.

[Growling]

Evidently he doesn't care
much for Mr. Farnum either.

Oggo, please!

We just want you
to show us how to get out

because you don't
want us here either, do you?

I mean, you tried
to shoo me away

from the daffodil, remember?

Well, weren't you trying
to save me from being caught?

[Grunting Affirmatively]

I think he's changing
his mind about you.

You could come
with us if you like.

[Chuckles] Shh!

Maybe he's afraid
there are too many of us.

Could you get
one of us out, just one?

[Grunting]

I guess it's easier to get you
out 'cause you're smaller,

and you could bring help
and get the rest of us out.

[Grunting Affirmatively]

You'd better get back
to your cage, Penny.

Don't worry. Come on, Oggo.
Let's go.

May I?
May you what?

By all means.
Thank you.

Mr. Farnum, there is one little thing.
I hesitate to mention it.

Yes?

My wristwatch.

Your wristwatch ? After I received
your charming little gifts,

I noticed that my
wristwatch was missing.

Oh.

Tell me,

when Mort was in here arranging
things, did Oggo come in too?

The little hairy creature?

Uh, yes, yes, he did.
For a moment.

Oh, good for him.

He stole it,
and you didn't even notice.

Oh, I've taught him well.
That clever little scoundrel.

I'm very pleased with him.

For shame, Mr. Farnum.

Did you teach
the boy to steal?

[Grunts Affirmatively]

To steal, to lie, to cheat,
never to trust anyone.

Well, I mean,
after all, how else

can man survive
in show business, hmm?

Do you know,
if it hadn't been for Oggo,

there are some planets

I would've been ridden off on a
rail, wearing tar and feathers.

Zach...
Zach indeed!

Smitty?

Do you know that...

I have never caught a real
human being in my whole life?

Pity.
Mmm-hmm.

Except Oggo, that is.

But if you knew what
a nuisance it's been

trying to keep him
primitive like that.

Do you know I'm even afraid to
speak in front of him for fear

that he'll start
talking and ruin

the only good exhibit
that I've got.

This zoo, everything, a fraud?

No, sir.

Delusion.

[Snickers]

Oh, my inventions are real

and so is my zoo now,

now that I've got real,
live people down there.

Oh, Smitty, I tell you.
We'll simply clean up!

Standing room only! Now that you're
here to help me control them,

to help me
with the work...

Just one moment, sir.
Did I understand you

to say that there
was work to be done?

Well, sometimes it becomes
a bit much to handle.

Collecting the admissions,
that is.

Do you know that
there are some planets

where they pay
admission in diamonds

that have to be weighed?

And emeralds so heavy that
even Mort can't lift them.

Diamonds?
Mmm.

And emeralds?
Mmm-hmm.

How very nice.

Mr. Farnum, a toast.

To your new assistant.

[Beeping]
Oh! Oh, dear.

What was that?

No. Not that one.

[ Beeping Continues] That's the wrong one.
Ah! There we are.

What is that?

escape!

[Alarms Ringing]

Is that it? ls that
where we get out?

[Anxious Grunting]

[Grunting]

You mean, that goes
to where you live,

back to your jungle?
[Grunting Affirmatively]

Oggo, show me mine. How do I
get back to the spaceship?

Oggo, you young devil!
Keep away from those doors!

Hurry!
[Grunting]

Give me that boy.
You little brat!

[Screams]

Where are we?
This is the wrong place.

Oggo?

Oggo? Oggo!

Oggo?
[Groaning]

Mr. Farnum!
[Continues Groaning]

Brats!
Worthless young scamps!

Mr. Farnum!
[Growls]

Take your dirty
little paws off my person.

I think something's
wrong, sir.

Oh, good heavens!

I think maybe we fell
through the wrong door.

Oh, you think maybe we fell
through the wrong door?

Well, just you wait,
young man. Just you wait.

In five seconds,
I'm going to teach you to...

[Shrieks] Oh! on!

My ankle!

Does your ankle hurt, sir?

[Sarcastically] No.

[Shrieks]

I've never seen caves
like this near the Jupiter.

Not even on our
whole planet maybe.

Oh, how observant you are.

How wise.

What I mean is,
where are we?

How should I know
where we are?

This should teach you
a good lesson, huh?

I suppose now you'll be ready
to go back to my zoo, boy.

Well, I'll just...

press this button,
and in five seconds...

Will that take us back?

Is something wrong with it?

Uh, no! No, no. It's the wrong
control box. That's all.

Where is it?

Where are my
other control boxes?

I don't know.

Well, how are we
going to escape from...

Escape. Escape. That's it.

I took the control boxes out
when the escape alarm rang.

Oh, no, no, no, no!

Yes, I left them there!

I left them in
Dr. Smith's room!

[Growls]

Oggo, come here.

Have you seen Mr. Farnum? I can't
seem to find him anywhere.

[Grunting]

Down there? Where?

He's gone away?

[Forceful Grunting]

Oggo, did you do
something to him?

Did you get rid of him?

Forever?

You stupid little creature!
Now what shall I do?

Now I shall never be saved!

And then when I think of all
those diamonds and emeralds!

[Grunting] What? What? Oh,
yes, yes, yes. I know.

These are Farnum's controls, but I
don't Know how to operate them!

Oggo, do you know

how these control boxes work,

how the whole
spaceship works?

You do?

How very interesting.

Perhaps we shall not need
Mr. Farnum after all.

That wicked man.

I'm sure he mistreated you
and was very cruel to you.

You poor, dear boy.

Never even gave you
proper clothes, did he?

Oggo, wouldn't it be lovely

to have a nice,
new, shiny coat

like a real circus boy?

Would you like that?

Perhaps I can arrange it.
Perhaps, Oggo,

we can help each other.

We can be friends.

And I would not be
cruel to you. Oh, no.

I would treat you
very kindly.

And the others too.
You see,

they don't know what's
best for them, but I do.

I know how to make
everyone happy.

What do you say, Oggo?

Shall we cooperate?

Don.

Dr. Smith!

How did you
get out there?

Hurry. Open this door.

Oggo! What are you
doing in that coat?

Never mind the coat.
There's work to be done.

What happened to Will?

Oggo, did Will get out?

Smith, open the door.

Not yet, Major.

Not until I have
tested one more thing.

Oggo, come here.

Show me
the proper button.

Test what thing,
what button?

Dr. Smith, what are
you talking about?

The acid test.

Oh, please let it work.

[ Box Beeping]

Mort? Yoo-hoo.

Mort?

Now, then, sir.
Right face.

Right face!

About face!

About face!

He's doing it! He's doing it!
Tell him to let us out!

Hurry!
Yes! Let us out of here!

Silence!

Have you forgotten those sacred
words, "The show must go on?"

The what?

Unfortunately, Mr. Farnum has
met with a slight accident.

lam in charge here now,
and let me remind you

this zoo is already
booked for a road tour.

There are eager customers
waiting on distant planets

with money in their
hot little hands.

Smith,
you open this door.

You'll get out
when I say so, Major,

when I have
collected that money.

For the nonce, I am the
greatest showman in the cosmos.

Mort, I shall need your help

to put my mechanical misfit
back together again.

We are hitting the road.

[Whip Cracks]

Smith, get back here!

Hurry up, sir.

We'd better at least
find out where we are.

Easy. Easy.

Maybe we fell
through Oggo's door.

Oh.

That's not so bad.
Thank you, boy.

You're welcome, sir.

I guess now you can see
that boys can be of some use.

Well, I know that.

That conniving Oggo is the most
useful thing I've ever caught.

Blasted brat. He's 10 times
smarter than you are.

Why haven't you
ever told him that?

Never you mind.

Mr. Farnum,

why did you start your old
zoo in the first place?

Why? Well,

because it's in my blood,
that's why.

I'll have you know that my mommy
was the greatest monster tamer

of all the outer heavens.

Oh.

You know, but why does that make
you wanna catch everything?

Oh.

Well, boys catch things,
don't they?

Yes, they do. I've seen them.

They catch all sorts
of crawly things,

like snakes and spiders
and lizards.

But we just do that
to learn how they feel,

and once we do,
well, we let them go.

You let them...

Oh, you have an
inferior intelligence, boy.

Yes, sir.

But maybe you feel that way
because you never were a boy.

You never had
the chance to grow up.

Now, that'll be
enough out of you!

[Shrieks]

Oh, let me go, boy!

l am the great Farnum B.!

I don't...
I don't need anyone's help!

Not yours, not anybody's!

Oh, good heavens.

What is it?
What's the matter?

This is where
Oggo came from.

[Will] lt can't be. I've seen
pictures of prehistoric Earth.

No, no, no, no.
Not Earth. Oggo's humbug.

Haven't you guessed
that by now?

I merely found him
on this horrible planet

and dressed him up
to look like a cave boy.

That's all.

You what?

Then I taught him to lie,

to cheat, to steal,

to never trust anybody.

How he must be laughing now!

Why?

At what he's done
to me, of course!

Oggo is the only one
who can get us out of here.

Nobody else
can figure it out.

Oggo's the only one
that can save us.

Oh, but then if...

If he's learned his lessons
as well as I think he has,

well, oh, well,
then he'll never...

What kind of
a planet is this?

I believe the life expectancy
here is 45 minutes.

[Circus music]
This way! This way!

Come and see
the primitive Earth people.

See Homo sapiens
in his natural habitat.

See the Renegade
Robot of Mars.

See the greatest
show from Earth.

[Whip Cracks]

Oggo, give it here.

Later, boy. Later. You'll
have your chance later.

Have a look. Jewels.

We're on a planet
where they pay in jewels.

Let me see.

Emeralds, rubies,
sapphires.

[ Don] Grab them, Penny, and
wrap them around his neck.

Silence! For shame, Major.

Don't you appreciate
what I'm doing for you?

I'm gonna slaughter you.

I swear, when I get
outta here, I'm gonna...

Really, Major.
It's very bad form

for the aliens to see you
behaving in this way.

The curtain's going up.
Take your places!

Curtain?

Oggo, give this here.
I'll handle it.

[Warbling ]

[Circus music]

Good luck, everyone.
On with the show!

[Aliens Exclaiming]

Oh, no, no!

There must be hundreds
of 'em out there.

What are they?

[Aliens Chattering,
Exclaiming ]

[Shrieks]

That's it.
That's it.

Move about. Put some
showmanship into it.

[ Panting ]

Penny, don't just
stand there. Move about.

I've worked very hard
on this production.

But I'm scared.

Nonsense, my dear.
Remember how

the polar bears bask
in their pool of water?

How the little raccoons
show off in their cages?

But I'm a person, and they're....
Well, look at them!

[Chattering,
Exclaiming Continue]

Don't worry. We'll get
out of here somehow.

[Shrieks]

Now, stop it at once,
do you hear'?

Play it up! Play your
part well, and I promise

you shall have
ice cream at feeding time.

Ice cream? Well, what
are you grinning at?

Look at you in that silly coat.
ls that all you wanted?

Are you happy now?

[ No Audible Dialogue]

You, sir.

Into your Renegade Robot
of Mars outfit quickly.

Peanuts, popcorn!
Get your peanuts, popcorn!

Robot, I can understand about Dr.
Smith and that silly boy,

but how could you
let this happen?

Because the show must go on.

Dr. Smith implanted that
on all my memory tapes.

This has nothing
to do with the show.

Can't you erase your tapes and
start acting like you should?

Self-erasure of tapes is against
a robot's prime directive.

ls that all you can say?

There is no business
like show business,

at least according
to Dr. Smith.

Now, you stop that.
At least try to

erase all that from
your tapes and help us.

Very well.
It shall be done.

[Raucous Laughter]

[Laughter Continues]

I'll keelhaul that Dr. Smith!
I'll smash him!

I'll draw and quarter him.

I'll break every bone
in his greedy, mean body!

[ Laughter Increases]

Oh.

You know what
it makes me wanna do?

[ Laughter Increases]

Oh!

Take it easy, Judy.

We'd all better
take it easy.

[ Exhales Forcefully]

But now I know
how the monkeys feel.

It's five minutes to showtime.
See the humans.

See them eat.
See their funny faces.

See the silly humans.
This way! This way!

Mort, careful
with those jewels.

Put them all
in my room, remember?

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

See the greatest
show on Earth!

Get your tickets!

See the one and only
Zachary Smith

present his
marvel of the ages!

Ah, madam.
How many? Three?

I have them right here.
Here we are, sir.

Thank you very much.
Go along. Go along.

Ah-ha-ha!

My, my,
what a pretty little girl.

Don't feed this to the animals, girlie.
They'll bite.

[Chuckles]

See them bite!

See the terrifying, raging major.
See the pretty little girl.

See... No, no. Later.

Later, Oggo. You'll get
your chance later.

Hurry, hurry! Stop it!
Do you hear? Stop it!

The show's over, Smith.

Ring down the curtain,
Dr. Smith.

I just wanted to help, Major.
I meant no harm.

I was just trying to
make a bit of money

for all of us,
for the children's future.

I told you
to be quiet.

Oh, Don,
I found another one

of Mr. Farnum's
control boxes.

Where's Will?

I don't know
where Will is.

Oggo, you know where
Will is, don't you?

He's with Mr. Farnum,
isn't he?

And you know
how to get them back.

[Don] I'll handle this.
No! Wait a minute, Don!

Don't you care about anything
but that silly, shiny coat?

Have you really been having so much
fun since Mr. Farnum disappeared?

No. You wait a minute.
We all love Will.

What if something awful happened to him?
Do you want that?

[Grunting Negatively]

Do you want something awful
to happen to Mr. Farnum?

[ Panting ]

Do you? Really?

Mr. Farnum would
never do anything

to really hurt you.
I know he wouldn't.

He told me so.

Oggo, please.
Maybe he is awful,

but he did raise you,
didn't he?

And even if he can't
understand about boys,

doesn't mean you can't

try to understand
about men,

about fathers.

Please, Oggo.
Please help us!

[Creature Roaring ]

Maybe he's too big
to get in here.

[Continues Roaring]

What are we going to do?
There's no place to run!

[Will] Maybe he'll
go away.

[Coughing 1 No, he won't!

I can't stand places like
this, closed in, suffocating!

[ Hyperventilating]

[Coughing ] We're going
to be trapped!

Boy, I have claustrophobia!
Don't you have any sympathy?

Well, sure I have, but there's
nothing I can do about it.

[Creature Roaring ]
[Both Coughing]

[Will ] Wait.

The air's better down here,
towards the ground.

[Wheezing] No, it's not!

[Whimpering]
He's going to catch us!

We're trapped like rats!

Now you know
how it feels, Mr. Farnum.

Help! Help me!

Help us! Anybody! Help!

[ Coughs] [Don ] Take it easy, Mr.
Farnum.

Don!

0990!

Stay down, all of you.
Stay down.

[ Roars]

[All Coughing]

[Coughing Continues]

[ Roars]

That does it.
[Whoops]

We're saved!
We're saved!

[ Laughing Hysterically] I
called, and you came to save us.

You came to save me.

Me, the great Farnum.
[Laughter Subsides]

Oh, Oggo.

After all the horrid, stupid things
I taught you, you still came.

Well, come on, son.
Get on with it!

Speak your piece.

Good-bye, Penny.

[Judy]Ah!

How about that?

Give a boy an inch,
and he'll take a mile.

Next thing, he'll be
talking my head off.

Well, we've got to find a
new way to make a living.

But that's showbiz. Good-bye, everybody.
Good-bye.

Come along, son.
Good-bye, Mr. Farnum.

Mom, do you suppose
I'll ever meet

a nice boy from
my own neighborhood?

Goodness.
I hope so, dear. Come on.

[Jet Propulsion Whistling]

There they go.

[ Dr. Smith Groans]
Oh, dear!

Smith.

Smith!

[ Dr. Smith ]
Oh, how dare he?

That cur! That ingrate!
He and that worthless boy!

Do you know what
that lying Farnum

had the temerity to say
when he threw me overboard?

He said I was a fraud.

He said he would not
allow me in any kind of zoo.

Indeed!
A man of my quality!

Beware, Farnum!
I'll sue you for libel!

Beware! Help me out of this infernal thing!
[ Laughter Continues]

[ Narrator] Stay tuned for some
exciting scenes from next week's show.

We must land
on that planet.

It's our lives or theirs.

Please identify yourselves.

[ Narrator ] Next week, Doctor
Smith turns the Jupiter spacecraft

into a hotel resort

only to find that
vacationing aliens

threaten his
entire enterprise.

But, remember, let your
motto be, "Fun, fun, fun!"

And now, the females.

You see?

I found you. Now what
do I get as my prize?

Close your eyes.

We will destroy them in the
lava pit, one at a time.

The mother first.
Come here!

[ Narrator] Next week, Two Weeks
In Space on Lost in Space,

here on this channel.