Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,607 --> 00:00:21,041
Senor...
2
00:00:24,487 --> 00:00:27,479
- Si.
- Must you leave so soon?
3
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:31,315
- Si.
- Then, before you go, could you?
4
00:00:31,367 --> 00:00:34,484
Refill your loving cup?
5
00:00:34,527 --> 00:00:37,724
No. Have sex with me.
6
00:00:37,767 --> 00:00:39,723
Si.
7
00:00:44,327 --> 00:00:46,318
Oh, yes!
8
00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:48,358
Olé!
9
00:00:48,407 --> 00:00:50,398
(Horn sounding)
10
00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:55,157
That's Richard's foghorn again.
11
00:00:55,207 --> 00:00:57,926
This must be the foggiest villa in Spain.
12
00:00:58,647 --> 00:01:00,638
Senor Grande?
13
00:01:00,687 --> 00:01:02,678
(Groaning)
14
00:01:06,607 --> 00:01:09,246
Hang on, that's not a foghorn. It's...
15
00:01:09,287 --> 00:01:11,278
(Snoring)
16
00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:15,399
Ben, you woke me up again!
17
00:01:18,047 --> 00:01:20,038
Ben!
18
00:01:22,127 --> 00:01:24,357
Maybe if I shift you off your back.
19
00:01:30,487 --> 00:01:32,478
Dear God, I've killed him!
20
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:36,998
Ben?
21
00:01:37,047 --> 00:01:39,038
(Snoring)
22
00:01:40,527 --> 00:01:42,518
Maybe next time.
23
00:01:48,207 --> 00:01:50,675
- Hi, Dad.
- Mikey.
24
00:01:50,727 --> 00:01:54,037
Care to guess why I'm so miserable today?
25
00:01:55,807 --> 00:01:57,798
Bye, Dad.
26
00:02:00,407 --> 00:02:02,398
Never fails.
27
00:02:02,447 --> 00:02:05,484
- Hi, Dad.
- It never lasts.
28
00:02:05,527 --> 00:02:08,883
- Which of these tops do you prefer?
- The cheapest.
29
00:02:08,927 --> 00:02:11,395
- Dad.
- Janey's started a shopping business.
30
00:02:11,447 --> 00:02:14,007
Yeah. My company helps pick
clothes for people,
31
00:02:14,047 --> 00:02:17,357
you know, sad fashion-illiterate people,
people like Abi.
32
00:02:18,967 --> 00:02:23,119
- Come on, Ben. We need an outside opinion.
- Have you tried outside?
33
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,718
Give me strength!
34
00:02:35,327 --> 00:02:38,285
- Mum, what's with the bread abuse?
- Sorry, dear.
35
00:02:38,327 --> 00:02:42,559
I was pretending
it was your stupid father's stupid head.
36
00:02:42,607 --> 00:02:45,724
You're upset about something, aren't you?
37
00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:50,682
Nothing that the violent removal
of Ben's soft palate wouldn't cure.
38
00:02:50,727 --> 00:02:52,718
It's about Ben, isn't it?
39
00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:57,397
If you must know, Susan's got it into
her thick head that I'm a snorer.
40
00:02:57,447 --> 00:03:00,917
Hah! A snorer? More like a Zeppelin
with a slow puncture.
41
00:03:00,967 --> 00:03:04,721
- I do not snore, Susan.
- Then why do I have to wake you every night?
42
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:07,281
Because insomniacs like to share their misery.
43
00:03:07,327 --> 00:03:11,878
Yes, the misery of having to listen to this.
(Snorting and moaning)
44
00:03:14,047 --> 00:03:17,357
Hey! I don't like seeing you two argue like this.
45
00:03:17,407 --> 00:03:21,639
- Then close your eyes.
- Mum, you'll wake Kenzo.
46
00:03:21,687 --> 00:03:25,043
- Why are you here?
- The boiler in my place has packed up.
47
00:03:25,087 --> 00:03:28,796
Until it's fixed, I'm using your spare room
to run my shopping company.
48
00:03:28,847 --> 00:03:31,600
- Your what?
- Mum, Mrs Milligan's outside.
49
00:03:31,647 --> 00:03:35,845
She says if you're not out before
she finishes her lipstick, you can walk to work.
50
00:03:35,887 --> 00:03:37,923
The cow and her lipstick!
51
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:41,880
- Have you packed my lunch?
- Yes. It's your father's head.
52
00:03:43,247 --> 00:03:45,238
Enjoy.
53
00:03:52,007 --> 00:03:56,159
Am I crazy, or have your parents been having
a lot more rows lately?
54
00:03:56,207 --> 00:03:59,119
I'm not sure that's an either/or question.
55
00:03:59,167 --> 00:04:02,523
Trivial things like snoring
triggered my father's divorces.
56
00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:04,159
- All five of them?
- Yeah.
57
00:04:05,847 --> 00:04:08,236
I'll be watching. Will you?
58
00:04:12,887 --> 00:04:14,878
(Alarm bleeping)
59
00:04:16,087 --> 00:04:18,362
What the? What the hell was that?
60
00:04:18,407 --> 00:04:20,477
The sound of me snapping.
61
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,961
Your mental elastic packed in years ago.
62
00:04:23,007 --> 00:04:26,397
- How dare you be so nonchalant?
- I am not being nonchalant.
63
00:04:26,447 --> 00:04:29,803
I am being very chalant.
What am I being chalant about?
64
00:04:29,847 --> 00:04:31,838
Your snoring. It keeps getting worse.
65
00:04:31,887 --> 00:04:33,878
- I do not...
- Snore. I know.
66
00:04:34,967 --> 00:04:36,958
Then who's this?
67
00:04:39,207 --> 00:04:43,598
- Oh, my... What have you done?
- I recorded last night's one-man show.
68
00:04:43,647 --> 00:04:46,081
You taped me without my consent?
69
00:04:46,127 --> 00:04:49,358
- Think of it as CCTV gone wild.
- Susan!
70
00:04:50,447 --> 00:04:54,076
That is a violation
of the unwritten laws of marriage.
71
00:04:55,047 --> 00:04:58,005
So is burping during sex, but you still do it.
72
00:04:59,087 --> 00:05:01,647
- Now, watch. I'll make popcorn.
- No.
73
00:05:01,687 --> 00:05:03,678
- I prefer Weetabix. Goodbye.
- No.
74
00:05:03,727 --> 00:05:06,195
Get off. Get off me. Susan, get off! Get off!
75
00:05:06,247 --> 00:05:08,397
Susan! Get off me! Stop it! Stop!
76
00:05:08,447 --> 00:05:12,042
- Listen, I'm stronger than I look, you know.
- So am I.
77
00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,725
OK, OK, so you are.
78
00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:18,406
- If you don't let go of me, I'll...
- You'll what?
79
00:05:18,447 --> 00:05:20,438
- I'll scream.
- Go on, then. Go on.
80
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,159
Argh!
81
00:05:23,207 --> 00:05:25,767
- Is that the best you can do?
- It's not my fault.
82
00:05:25,807 --> 00:05:29,197
- I have testicles.
- I can soon fix that.
83
00:05:30,287 --> 00:05:32,278
Susan! Susan! No! Oooh!
84
00:05:32,327 --> 00:05:34,124
(Chuckling)
85
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,158
Get off!
86
00:05:36,207 --> 00:05:38,243
Oh, Susan! Whoa!
87
00:05:38,287 --> 00:05:40,437
Whoa! You know...
88
00:05:40,487 --> 00:05:44,799
In other circumstances,
this might be quite a turn-on.
89
00:05:44,847 --> 00:05:47,600
Watch the tape! It's for your own good!
90
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,683
- Susan, no!
- Now, watch! Watch!
91
00:05:49,727 --> 00:05:51,604
No!
92
00:05:56,847 --> 00:05:58,838
(Ben) Oh, my God...
93
00:06:00,287 --> 00:06:03,677
Oh, God, no! Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!
94
00:06:04,847 --> 00:06:07,077
All right, OK,
95
00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:09,402
so I snore, but I wasn't that loud.
96
00:06:09,447 --> 00:06:12,245
The volume was on level two.
Care to hear it on three?
97
00:06:12,287 --> 00:06:14,278
No! No! No! Anything but that!
98
00:06:15,407 --> 00:06:17,716
So, what are you going to do about it?
99
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:21,726
Well, we could start
by having another kinky wrestling match.
100
00:06:23,847 --> 00:06:25,838
- All right.
- OK.
101
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:38,402
Can I help you?
Or, more to the point, can you be helped?
102
00:06:40,607 --> 00:06:43,804
I was just thinking how families are like farms.
103
00:06:43,847 --> 00:06:47,522
To nurture his stock, a farmer, ie you,
104
00:06:47,567 --> 00:06:51,242
needs loads of sunshine,
and just a teensy bit of rain.
105
00:06:52,927 --> 00:06:54,918
Lay off the rain, Ben.
106
00:07:02,167 --> 00:07:04,158
Hello, dear. What's new?
107
00:07:04,207 --> 00:07:06,198
Apparently, we're a farm now.
108
00:07:07,607 --> 00:07:10,804
We've managed to raise a pig,
a cow and a donkey.
109
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:22,682
Drink is not the answer, Susan.
110
00:07:22,727 --> 00:07:24,718
Strangely enough, it is.
111
00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:28,237
Alcohol before bedtime
is a huge cause of snoring.
112
00:07:28,287 --> 00:07:31,916
- Don't even go there.
- I thought you'd say that.
113
00:07:31,967 --> 00:07:36,040
So, luckily, I found
a few home snoring remedies,
114
00:07:37,087 --> 00:07:40,318
just things like cotton reels down your back.
115
00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:44,997
- What?
- Nasal strips,
116
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,800
or a jaw extender.
117
00:07:48,727 --> 00:07:50,718
Um, hello... Not happening.
118
00:07:52,087 --> 00:07:55,602
Or you could always give up drinking
in the evening.
119
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,718
It's your choice.
120
00:08:06,047 --> 00:08:08,197
Ben, are you coming to bed?
121
00:08:15,487 --> 00:08:19,639
- You didn't have to wear them all at once.
- (Muffled) I'm being a martyr.
122
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,723
You're being a moron.
123
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,607
- Oh!
- It's rather sweet you're doing this for me.
124
00:08:28,647 --> 00:08:30,638
Don't flatter yourself.
125
00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:33,958
I'm doing this for drink.
126
00:08:34,007 --> 00:08:35,998
Even so.
127
00:08:37,007 --> 00:08:38,998
Good night.
128
00:08:44,127 --> 00:08:46,118
- Never mind.
- (Mumbles)
129
00:08:48,407 --> 00:08:50,398
(Hissing)
130
00:08:57,687 --> 00:09:00,076
Ben...
131
00:09:00,127 --> 00:09:02,687
- What?
- Can you turn the volume down on that?
132
00:09:03,767 --> 00:09:06,884
Sorry, no.
Don't you find the repetition calming?
133
00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:09,236
- No!
- Oh. Go in the spare room.
134
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,517
I would, but my leash won't reach.
135
00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:15,446
- Janey and Kenzo are in there.
- All right, the living room?
136
00:09:17,327 --> 00:09:18,760
(Giggling)
137
00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:22,641
Shh... My parents imposed
a strict curfew on having fun.
138
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,963
- When did it start?
- My birth.
139
00:09:27,727 --> 00:09:30,321
I love a guy who can make me laugh.
140
00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:32,927
Oh, really? Well, in that case, I, er...
141
00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:37,884
- I can't think of anything funny.
(Laughing)
142
00:09:37,927 --> 00:09:42,239
- I must just go to the loo.
- It's OK, been to the chemist's.
143
00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:46,803
- Pardon?
- I said it's through there.
144
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,838
I'll just get some drinks.
145
00:10:05,087 --> 00:10:07,078
You don't waste time, do you?
146
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,438
Mon ami...
147
00:10:17,527 --> 00:10:19,518
Je t'aime toujours.
148
00:10:19,567 --> 00:10:21,558
S'il vous plait, ce soir nous...
149
00:10:25,687 --> 00:10:27,518
- Michael?
- Molly?
150
00:10:27,567 --> 00:10:29,558
- Ben?
- Mum!
151
00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:32,276
- Michael?
- Mum?
152
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:34,124
- Michael!
- Molly...
153
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,158
- Molly?
- Molly, wait, please.
154
00:10:36,207 --> 00:10:38,641
- I thought she was you.
- Oh, thanks a lot!
155
00:10:38,687 --> 00:10:40,757
- Who are you?
- I'm out of here.
156
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:44,561
- Don't call me.
- Molly, wait! I'm funny, remember.
157
00:10:46,047 --> 00:10:48,083
Nobody's that funny.
158
00:10:51,487 --> 00:10:55,639
Michael, what do you think you're doing
bringing home girls at this time of night?
159
00:10:55,687 --> 00:10:58,360
Don't worry, it won't happen again. Ever.
160
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:02,116
You're just lucky it was me on the couch,
not your father.
161
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:04,158
Oh, God, now that's in my head.
162
00:11:06,687 --> 00:11:08,917
(# Grieg: Morning from Peer Gynt)
163
00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:53,598
You're welcome.
164
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:59,757
- Janey, I've a fashion question for you.
- Shoot.
165
00:11:59,807 --> 00:12:01,798
Where are my clothes?
166
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,644
I gave them away.
167
00:12:03,687 --> 00:12:05,757
- What?
- Need clothes, do you?
168
00:12:05,807 --> 00:12:09,595
Then you need a personal shopper. My card.
169
00:12:09,647 --> 00:12:12,764
Hmm... Anyone would think you'd planned this.
170
00:12:13,647 --> 00:12:15,638
Morning! Breakfast, kids.
171
00:12:15,687 --> 00:12:18,884
- What?
- Yes, made breakfast. Come on, come on.
172
00:12:23,647 --> 00:12:25,956
That was the creepiest thing ever.
173
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:34,358
Until now.
174
00:12:34,407 --> 00:12:37,558
- Where are all my clothes?
- Janey gave them away.
175
00:12:37,607 --> 00:12:40,997
- No. I threw his clothes out.
- What?
176
00:12:41,047 --> 00:12:43,163
Fashion is about confidence, Michael.
177
00:12:43,207 --> 00:12:46,358
Your looks make you be confident
for when you feel confident.
178
00:12:46,407 --> 00:12:48,967
You look good in fashion
about the way you look.
179
00:12:49,007 --> 00:12:51,475
I couldn't put it any plainer than that.
180
00:12:51,527 --> 00:12:54,166
I'm afraid you couldn't.
181
00:12:58,127 --> 00:13:01,278
- Er... Mum, were you just outside?
- I was jogging.
182
00:13:01,327 --> 00:13:03,921
- What? On purpose?
- Of course.
183
00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:07,755
Well, I've got to say, Susan,
you look dead fit in that gear.
184
00:13:07,807 --> 00:13:10,002
- Thank you.
- Nice firm arse, eh?
185
00:13:11,447 --> 00:13:13,836
What are you asking me for?
186
00:13:13,887 --> 00:13:15,878
Oh, Michael...
187
00:13:15,927 --> 00:13:18,964
don't you look adorable in that uniform?
188
00:13:20,247 --> 00:13:23,523
- Yeah... Mum, you never jog.
- Well, today's different.
189
00:13:23,567 --> 00:13:26,684
I woke up
feeling as if a new beginning was under way.
190
00:13:26,727 --> 00:13:30,003
- You had a row with Ben last night, didn't you?
- Yes.
191
00:13:30,047 --> 00:13:32,641
- Is that why you slept on the couch?
- Yes.
192
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:36,202
- How did you know she slept on the?
- I just know.
193
00:13:36,247 --> 00:13:43,085
Come on, everybody. Breakfast is getting co...
Oh, look at you! Oh, Mikey!
194
00:13:43,127 --> 00:13:46,005
- Oh, that takes me back.
- Yes.
195
00:13:46,047 --> 00:13:49,403
- Oh, isn't he wonderful?
- Yes, and so are you.
196
00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:55,477
- I thought I'd get a Chinese takeaway tonight.
- Oh, spiffy-wiffy-do! Yes!
197
00:13:55,527 --> 00:13:58,837
Ah, don't forget the soy sauce.
Remember last time.
198
00:13:58,887 --> 00:14:01,447
- Oh, and I'm still soy sorry about that.
- Aww!
199
00:14:01,487 --> 00:14:03,478
Oh, you!
200
00:14:04,487 --> 00:14:06,876
Oooh, yippee-doo!
201
00:14:09,327 --> 00:14:11,363
I feel a chill.
202
00:14:11,407 --> 00:14:15,195
Me too.
Something is very wrong with your parents.
203
00:14:15,247 --> 00:14:18,205
What are you on about?
They're always kissing.
204
00:14:18,247 --> 00:14:23,082
This time, it was like they were trying too hard,
and you saw your mum in that tracksuit.
205
00:14:23,127 --> 00:14:25,197
Yeah, but it did nothing for me.
206
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:31,240
All my stepmums got in shape towards the end.
I've seen it so many times.
207
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:34,643
First, they bicker over trivial things,
then they sleep apart,
208
00:14:34,687 --> 00:14:36,882
then they act extra nice to each other.
209
00:14:36,927 --> 00:14:39,805
Final stop, Divorceville, Pennsylvania.
210
00:14:41,407 --> 00:14:45,719
- If they do split, I'll stay with Dad.
- Really? But you and Mum are so close.
211
00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:48,884
It was one little kiss! I barely felt anything!
212
00:14:52,727 --> 00:14:55,116
- Morning, Ben.
- Morning, Roger.
213
00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:58,955
Can I? Wait. You just called me Roger.
214
00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:00,486
Yes.
215
00:15:00,527 --> 00:15:05,965
It sounds so cool when you say my name, much
better than twazzock or jelly brain.
216
00:15:07,087 --> 00:15:10,045
So, can I just pinch your floss?
217
00:15:10,087 --> 00:15:12,078
Help yourself.
218
00:15:12,127 --> 00:15:14,561
Oh, come on. You can take more than that.
219
00:15:14,607 --> 00:15:17,041
Why are you being so unmean to me?
220
00:15:18,127 --> 00:15:22,996
Well, Susan and I had a little tiff last night,
and she slept on the couch.
221
00:15:23,807 --> 00:15:26,162
- And that put you in a good mood?
- Yup.
222
00:15:26,207 --> 00:15:30,564
Apparently one night's sleep
without Susan is all it takes.
223
00:15:30,607 --> 00:15:32,757
Anyway, that bed should be mine.
224
00:15:34,087 --> 00:15:37,557
I paid for it.
Why should I sleep on just a quarter of it?
225
00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:41,839
- Tell it, brother.
- If only I could sleep alone again tonight.
226
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:46,358
But how?
227
00:15:46,407 --> 00:15:49,046
Simple pimple. Just have another fight.
228
00:15:49,087 --> 00:15:51,442
- Pardon?
- Criticise her.
229
00:15:51,487 --> 00:15:53,955
Call Susan a big, hairy shmush face.
230
00:15:56,807 --> 00:15:59,275
- Yeah, that's worth a try.
- Sure.
231
00:15:59,327 --> 00:16:01,477
Now, then, matey,
232
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:05,281
what say you and me
have lunch together this afternoon?
233
00:16:05,327 --> 00:16:07,887
I didn't sleep that well, jelly brain.
234
00:16:19,087 --> 00:16:21,078
Bedtime, is it?
235
00:16:21,127 --> 00:16:23,118
- Yes.
- Yes.
236
00:16:25,007 --> 00:16:26,998
Yes.
237
00:16:28,847 --> 00:16:30,838
Yes.
238
00:16:32,287 --> 00:16:35,165
- What did you say?
- I didn't say anything.
239
00:16:35,207 --> 00:16:39,519
Really? Right, well,
it must have been the way you didn't say it.
240
00:16:41,807 --> 00:16:43,798
Fine, then don't be that way.
241
00:16:46,967 --> 00:16:51,438
- Ben, I'm not sure I like your tone.
- Really? Well, tough titties.
242
00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:56,601
- Why are you acting like a child?
- Mmm.
243
00:16:56,647 --> 00:17:01,084
Better acting a child
than being a big, hairy shmush face.
244
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:04,635
- What?
- Don't ask me to repeat it, Susan.
245
00:17:04,687 --> 00:17:08,600
- I'm not going to sit here and listen to this!
- Fine. Fine.
246
00:17:11,127 --> 00:17:13,960
- Fine.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Susan. That was pathetic.
247
00:17:14,007 --> 00:17:16,157
Too late. The train has left the station.
248
00:17:16,207 --> 00:17:19,882
Look, Susan, I was pretending to be an arse
so we'd have another row.
249
00:17:19,927 --> 00:17:26,321
- I can't say I noticed the difference.
- Look, I slept really well last night, and...
250
00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:29,325
- You don't want to sleep with me either.
- No.
251
00:17:29,367 --> 00:17:31,358
What do you mean, "either"?
252
00:17:31,407 --> 00:17:34,956
Do you mean either as in
another bloke doesn't want to sleep with you?
253
00:17:35,007 --> 00:17:38,238
No, either as in I don't want to sleep with you.
254
00:17:38,287 --> 00:17:41,723
Oh, that's OK. No, it isn't.
Why don't you want to sleep with me?
255
00:17:42,447 --> 00:17:44,438
Last night was a revelation.
256
00:17:44,487 --> 00:17:47,126
We've spent nights apart,
but this was different.
257
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:51,763
I felt safe, knowing you were nearby,
but I could get some proper sleep.
258
00:17:51,807 --> 00:17:55,322
Darling, you shouldn't have to sleep
on that crummy sofa.
259
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:58,359
It's got bits of Nick still in the fabric.
260
00:17:58,407 --> 00:18:01,160
When Janey moves back out,
I can take the spare room.
261
00:18:01,207 --> 00:18:03,198
Perfect, yeah. Yeah.
262
00:18:03,247 --> 00:18:06,603
And then we can still have sex before bed?
263
00:18:07,927 --> 00:18:10,157
- Of course.
- Even more perfect.
264
00:18:12,487 --> 00:18:14,796
Come here, smush face.
265
00:18:17,367 --> 00:18:19,358
Oh! Oh! Oh!
266
00:18:21,487 --> 00:18:24,604
Come on, Abi. You know it makes sense.
267
00:18:24,647 --> 00:18:27,445
(Abi) I won't be forced into anything.
268
00:18:29,647 --> 00:18:33,037
- You look ridiculous in that.
- It was good enough for Halloween.
269
00:18:33,087 --> 00:18:35,999
- It's good enough for now.
- But I bought loads for you.
270
00:18:36,047 --> 00:18:41,121
- Not bad. Are they my size.
- Don't be stupid. They're my size.
271
00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:44,558
- Is something wrong, Mum?
- Oh...
272
00:18:45,967 --> 00:18:49,164
Your father and I just had another of our fights.
273
00:18:50,007 --> 00:18:52,601
You're not sleeping downstairs again, are you?
274
00:18:52,647 --> 00:18:55,878
Yes, and thanks to Ben,
I may be sleeping there permanently.
275
00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:58,236
Can we keep the noise down, please?
276
00:18:58,287 --> 00:19:02,200
Some of us are trying
to download hard-core... homework.
277
00:19:02,247 --> 00:19:06,160
- Hi, Mum.
- You look a right berk, dressed like that.
278
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:13,084
Oh, right. I'm in a cheese costume.
279
00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:16,318
Night-night, all.
280
00:19:18,447 --> 00:19:22,042
Your mum seemed very happy
to be sleeping on her own, didn't she?
281
00:19:22,087 --> 00:19:24,237
Well, it is Dad she's married to.
282
00:19:24,287 --> 00:19:27,962
Divorceville, now boarding at Platform 4.
283
00:19:28,007 --> 00:19:30,646
Calling at Single Town, Split City,
284
00:19:30,687 --> 00:19:35,920
Loneliness Hills and Meal For One... ingham.
285
00:19:37,647 --> 00:19:39,877
- We have to do something.
- Yeah.
286
00:19:39,927 --> 00:19:42,316
Look at what divorce has done to Abi.
287
00:19:42,367 --> 00:19:44,517
We can't risk ending up like her.
288
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:47,758
Oh, God...
289
00:19:47,807 --> 00:19:49,798
What if it is me?
290
00:19:49,847 --> 00:19:51,838
What if I'm the jinx?
291
00:19:52,687 --> 00:19:56,680
What if all five of my father's divorces
have been my fault?
292
00:19:57,607 --> 00:20:02,078
- And now... Ben and Susan.
- Look, don't worry, Abi.
293
00:20:03,127 --> 00:20:07,484
We'll find a way to keep them together.
Do you smell something?
294
00:20:07,527 --> 00:20:09,518
I think my cheese has gone off.
295
00:20:11,807 --> 00:20:14,685
Hey, thanks for stopping by to see me, Pops.
296
00:20:18,047 --> 00:20:20,686
Er... I'm only one floor down, you know.
297
00:20:20,727 --> 00:20:22,718
Oh, wow! New shirt?
298
00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:25,235
Oh, yeah. Janey bought me new clothes.
299
00:20:25,287 --> 00:20:29,963
- What do you think?
- I think... Janey bought you new clothes.
300
00:20:30,007 --> 00:20:35,286
Anyhoo, I reckon it's high time
we had us a little powwow, mano a mano.
301
00:20:35,327 --> 00:20:36,476
OK.
302
00:20:37,607 --> 00:20:39,677
You and mum aren't sleeping together.
303
00:20:39,727 --> 00:20:43,640
Oh, that!
Oh, come on, it's a little problem in bed.
304
00:20:43,687 --> 00:20:46,884
You don't have to say anything
that makes you uncomfortable.
305
00:20:46,927 --> 00:20:50,044
I'm over the embarrassment.
It happens to a lot of people.
306
00:20:50,087 --> 00:20:52,965
Some people find it a problem,
but it's not uncommon.
307
00:20:53,007 --> 00:20:56,317
You don't have to say anything
that makes me uncomfortable.
308
00:20:56,367 --> 00:20:58,358
Hey, come here.
309
00:20:59,247 --> 00:21:01,238
You know... (Sniggering)
310
00:21:02,167 --> 00:21:04,158
You know the other night?
311
00:21:04,207 --> 00:21:09,076
Your mother secretly videoed me going at it
while she was trying to sleep.
312
00:21:11,727 --> 00:21:13,877
I mean... I'll show you the tape.
313
00:21:15,887 --> 00:21:19,880
No! No child should ever have to see
his parents doing that.
314
00:21:19,927 --> 00:21:27,356
No, no, no. It's not what you see that's horrible.
It's what you can hear that 's so gross.
315
00:21:27,407 --> 00:21:30,763
I'm grunting and snorting like a wild animal.
316
00:21:30,807 --> 00:21:34,482
It's not human.
No wonder your mother's had enough.
317
00:21:38,927 --> 00:21:41,316
Please go now.
318
00:21:48,247 --> 00:21:51,956
Abi, you look really smart.
319
00:21:53,447 --> 00:21:55,438
Thanks, Ben.
320
00:21:55,487 --> 00:21:59,321
You've been saying
some really nice things to me lately.
321
00:21:59,367 --> 00:22:04,885
Actually, you're saying the same things
you always do, only without the sarcasm.
322
00:22:04,927 --> 00:22:06,918
(Chuckling)
323
00:22:06,967 --> 00:22:08,958
You are a hoot.
324
00:22:09,807 --> 00:22:11,798
Yeah, just like that.
325
00:22:11,847 --> 00:22:18,446
Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I'm largely
responsible for the problems in your marriage.
326
00:22:19,767 --> 00:22:21,758
Er... I don't understand.
327
00:22:21,807 --> 00:22:26,119
So, for the sake of the family,
I've decided to move out.
328
00:22:28,367 --> 00:22:30,562
I understand.
329
00:22:31,887 --> 00:22:35,721
Well, that's it, I suppose.
I'll open it up to questions.
330
00:22:35,767 --> 00:22:37,758
No? Right.
331
00:22:40,287 --> 00:22:45,281
- Well, if you're leaving, you might as well go.
- Well, I was thinking more like a week or two.
332
00:22:45,327 --> 00:22:47,966
No. I mean, what kind of gesture is that?
333
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:51,001
I mean, come on, think of the boy.
334
00:22:51,047 --> 00:22:54,881
- Oh, Ben...
- Not now, Susan. I'm a bit busy.
335
00:22:54,927 --> 00:22:56,918
Too busy for?
336
00:22:59,687 --> 00:23:01,678
See you.
337
00:23:04,127 --> 00:23:06,118
Every second counts.
338
00:23:09,647 --> 00:23:12,207
- That was wonderful.
- Oh, yes.
339
00:23:13,487 --> 00:23:15,796
You were really very good tonight.
340
00:23:16,927 --> 00:23:19,600
I know.
341
00:23:19,647 --> 00:23:23,162
It must be something
to do with the extra rest I'm getting.
342
00:23:23,207 --> 00:23:25,516
It's done a lot for my motor skills.
343
00:23:26,847 --> 00:23:29,805
- Not to mention your stamina.
- (Sniggers)
344
00:23:30,647 --> 00:23:32,638
Well, good night.
345
00:23:37,047 --> 00:23:39,038
Er... hello. Susan? Susan?
346
00:23:40,047 --> 00:23:42,038
Back for more already?
347
00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:44,806
Nope. Aren't you forgetting something?
348
00:23:46,807 --> 00:23:50,163
Oh, yes, of course, the good night kiss.
349
00:23:50,207 --> 00:23:52,675
Nope. Try again.
350
00:23:52,727 --> 00:23:57,118
- I'm sorry, but...
- This isn't where you sleep any more, is it?
351
00:23:57,167 --> 00:23:59,237
You mean you still want me to leave?
352
00:23:59,287 --> 00:24:01,278
It's for the best.
353
00:24:01,327 --> 00:24:03,318
- But we just...
- Well...
354
00:24:04,847 --> 00:24:07,998
- Right, OK.
- Come on, Susan. It's what we agreed to.
355
00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:10,800
I feel like a hooker
whose services are no longer needed.
356
00:24:10,847 --> 00:24:15,716
Oh, come on, Susan! Of course they're needed,
just not while I'm asleep.
357
00:24:17,047 --> 00:24:19,117
You'll be hearing from my pimp.
358
00:24:22,767 --> 00:24:24,758
You and Ben made it up, then?
359
00:24:24,807 --> 00:24:26,798
We will after I kill him.
360
00:24:28,367 --> 00:24:30,676
Time to pack your bags, Abi Harper.
361
00:24:36,167 --> 00:24:38,158
- All right, Dad?
- Huh!
362
00:24:40,847 --> 00:24:43,566
So, how much longer are you here for?
363
00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:46,121
Hey, you say that
like you don't want me around.
364
00:24:46,167 --> 00:24:49,364
Nonsense.
So, how much longer are you here for?
365
00:24:50,567 --> 00:24:54,082
- The boiler should be fixed by tomorrow.
- Oh, good.
366
00:24:54,127 --> 00:24:56,595
So, the personal shopping biz going well, is it?
367
00:24:56,647 --> 00:24:59,207
It's great. I'm going out of business.
368
00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:01,841
- And that's good?
- Yeah.
369
00:25:01,887 --> 00:25:05,641
I love closing-down sales. Such great bargains.
370
00:25:05,687 --> 00:25:10,203
Janey, you do realise
you'll be buying from yourself?
371
00:25:10,247 --> 00:25:12,238
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.
372
00:25:13,207 --> 00:25:17,120
I should be able to score a massive discount!
Thanks, Dad.
373
00:25:24,767 --> 00:25:27,839
- Morning, darling.
- Hello.
374
00:25:30,327 --> 00:25:33,285
- Still angry?
- Not particularly.
375
00:25:47,967 --> 00:25:52,245
- Ben, sleeping apart is great, but...
- Look, Susan, I can't stand this any more.
376
00:25:52,287 --> 00:25:54,801
- Ben, I...
- Look, just let me speak, please.
377
00:25:54,847 --> 00:25:56,838
I didn't sleep a wink last night.
378
00:25:56,887 --> 00:26:02,757
I kept waking, thinking there was something
missing, and, God help me, I think it was you.
379
00:26:07,687 --> 00:26:10,247
- Please come back.
- Do you mean that?
380
00:26:10,287 --> 00:26:12,676
I'm afraid I do.
381
00:26:13,447 --> 00:26:17,156
You'd really rather be miserable with me
than comfortable and alone?
382
00:26:17,207 --> 00:26:19,846
Isn't that what families are all about?
383
00:26:19,887 --> 00:26:22,606
- Yes, I expect you're right.
- Oh, yeah.
384
00:26:23,567 --> 00:26:25,558
Susan, please...
385
00:26:25,607 --> 00:26:27,598
Please, Susan,
386
00:26:29,247 --> 00:26:31,238
sleep with me again.
387
00:26:32,247 --> 00:26:35,762
Well, I don't know, Ben.
You're asking an awful lot.
388
00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:40,880
- I'll give you control of the duvet.
- Well, if that's all it's worth to you...
389
00:26:40,927 --> 00:26:46,957
No. OK. OK. I don't know, but I could give you
the final say on when the lights go out.
390
00:26:48,087 --> 00:26:50,396
Tempting.
391
00:26:50,447 --> 00:26:53,439
- How about a foot massage every night.
- Oh, I'd love one.
392
00:26:53,487 --> 00:26:55,682
Yeah, fine. OK. Yeah, sure.
393
00:26:55,727 --> 00:26:57,718
Whatever.
394
00:26:58,527 --> 00:27:01,883
Can we just go back to the way things were?
395
00:27:01,927 --> 00:27:06,557
Well, I suppose I could give up
my comfy couch if it'll make you happy.
396
00:27:06,607 --> 00:27:08,598
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Excellent.
397
00:27:14,407 --> 00:27:16,398
Right, I'm off, then.
398
00:27:17,207 --> 00:27:22,964
I just wanted to say that the years I've spent
here have made me grow as a person, and I...
399
00:27:23,607 --> 00:27:27,202
Look, I'm trying
to make an emotional farewell here.
400
00:27:28,847 --> 00:27:33,875
If you two can't stop being lovey-dovey
for two minutes, then I...
401
00:27:33,927 --> 00:27:38,717
Oh, hey, you're back together again.
I can unpack.
402
00:27:38,767 --> 00:27:41,076
No! No! No! No! No!
403
00:27:41,127 --> 00:27:44,961
It's OK.
We're just kissing each other goodbye for ever.
404
00:27:45,007 --> 00:27:48,477
No, there's still time to save our marriage.
You just have to go now.
405
00:27:48,527 --> 00:27:50,882
- Ben...
- You just have to...
406
00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:58,204
Oh, what the hell. The more the miserabler.
407
00:27:58,247 --> 00:28:00,636
Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey!
408
00:28:09,127 --> 00:28:11,118
Hey, are you coming to bed or not?
409
00:28:19,127 --> 00:28:21,402
Buenas noches, senorita.
410
00:28:23,207 --> 00:28:25,198
- Oh.
- What? What?
411
00:28:25,247 --> 00:28:28,239
I'm wearing it
like in the dream you told me about.
412
00:28:29,247 --> 00:28:31,522
- I know, but...
- But what?
413
00:28:33,047 --> 00:28:36,119
Where are the other two, José and Pedro?
32651
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.