All language subtitles for Brooklyn Nine-Nine - 06x05 - A Tale Of Two Bandits

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:06,658 Peralta, looks like an old friend of yours 2 00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:08,289 - is back in town. - Who? 3 00:00:08,325 --> 00:00:10,536 That guy Neil that you bunked with at sleepaway camp? 4 00:00:10,572 --> 00:00:12,214 Oh, Neil from camp was the best. 5 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:14,338 He could pick up a milk carton with his butt cheeks. 6 00:00:14,374 --> 00:00:15,406 He was so funny. 7 00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,321 You know who else was funny? Bill Cosby. 8 00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:19,572 Charles, will you relax? You're gonna love Neil. 9 00:00:19,608 --> 00:00:21,132 It's not Neil. Why would it be Neil? 10 00:00:21,168 --> 00:00:23,284 - It's Doug Judy. - Oh, right. 11 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:25,325 Someone we all know in a police capacity. 12 00:00:25,361 --> 00:00:26,417 That makes more sense. 13 00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:28,767 Someone's using his signature move to steal cars, 14 00:00:28,803 --> 00:00:30,303 plugging in to the OBD port 15 00:00:30,339 --> 00:00:32,075 and reprogramming the immobilizer module. 16 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,765 That's Doug Judy's MO, but it's not him. 17 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,352 - He told me he went legit. - That's what he told you 18 00:00:35,388 --> 00:00:37,257 last time too, before he screwed you over. 19 00:00:37,293 --> 00:00:39,129 Yeah, but he returned the diamonds to me eventually, 20 00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:40,378 and it turned out that was the only way 21 00:00:40,414 --> 00:00:41,918 to get Giggle Pig off the streets. 22 00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,174 Wait, I may be confusing our adventures. What year was the cruise? 23 00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:46,110 Dude's a criminal. People don't change. 24 00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:47,885 Ever heard of Bruce Banner, the Incredible Hulk? 25 00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:49,251 You might want to talk to his shirts and pants 26 00:00:49,287 --> 00:00:50,495 about people not changing. 27 00:00:51,657 --> 00:00:54,123 Well, I want to ask Doug Judy some questions. 28 00:00:54,159 --> 00:00:56,404 - You have his number? - I always make contact through his mom. 29 00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:58,058 I'll put you in touch with her, but remember, 30 00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:00,526 she thinks I'm his assistant Mangy Carl, 31 00:01:00,562 --> 00:01:02,278 and he's a famous architect who's designing 32 00:01:02,314 --> 00:01:04,446 LeBron James's new school for black astronauts. 33 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,534 Hello, Mrs. Judy? 34 00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,331 I'm looking for your son, the architect. 35 00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,811 Yes, I'm from... black NASA. 36 00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:13,812 Is that a thing? 37 00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:16,206 Oh, my. I didn't know. 38 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,121 I understand. Good-bye. 39 00:01:19,629 --> 00:01:22,458 So Doug Judy will not be coming in. 40 00:01:22,494 --> 00:01:23,452 What? Why not? 41 00:01:23,512 --> 00:01:25,128 Oh, I see. 42 00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:26,608 He is dead. 43 00:01:41,014 --> 00:01:45,014 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 44 00:01:46,923 --> 00:01:49,847 Wow, I don't know how to deal with all these emotions, Terry. 45 00:01:49,883 --> 00:01:51,612 No one I've been close with has ever died before. 46 00:01:51,648 --> 00:01:54,635 No tragic accidents to friends. All my grandparents are alive. 47 00:01:54,671 --> 00:01:55,966 How did you deal when Hodor died? 48 00:01:56,002 --> 00:01:58,422 Not well, Terry. Why would you bring that up? 49 00:01:58,687 --> 00:02:00,642 Carl? Mangy Carl? 50 00:02:00,905 --> 00:02:02,951 Yes. That is me. 51 00:02:02,987 --> 00:02:04,992 I'm Trudy Judy, Doug's sister. 52 00:02:05,028 --> 00:02:06,343 This is our aunt Patrice. 53 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:07,923 I'm so glad you could make it. 54 00:02:07,959 --> 00:02:09,510 Doug really loved you. 55 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,480 - Oh, he talked about me? - Oh, all the time. 56 00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:15,439 He was so afraid he'd fall back into your old life. 57 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:18,573 Doug made Mangy Carl an assistant at the architecture firm. 58 00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:20,743 He rescued him from a life on the streets. 59 00:02:20,784 --> 00:02:23,722 Yeah, I was down on my luck, not a penny to my name. 60 00:02:23,758 --> 00:02:25,894 - You were selling your body for money. - Did Doug tell you that? 61 00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:27,277 He said all your teeth fell out, 62 00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:28,800 and your mouth was just a rotten hole. 63 00:02:29,290 --> 00:02:30,628 100% accurate. 64 00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,948 Plus you were sick from those back-alley butt implants. 65 00:02:32,984 --> 00:02:35,043 - Had to have 'em. - Carl thought a plumper rump 66 00:02:35,079 --> 00:02:37,192 would help him get his [bleep] every night. 67 00:02:37,228 --> 00:02:38,883 Yeah, I remember having that thought. 68 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:41,208 But the doctor just put a bunch of mulch up there, 69 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,165 - and it got all infected. - Dark days. 70 00:02:43,201 --> 00:02:46,296 I'm sorry. It's just so sweet. 71 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,951 - The mulch thing? - No, how Doug saved him. 72 00:02:49,177 --> 00:02:51,954 Doug was always taking people under his wing. 73 00:02:52,198 --> 00:02:54,304 Doug said you have a beautiful voice. 74 00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:55,697 Oh, he did? Well, I... 75 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,747 ♪ Suppose that's true ♪ 76 00:02:57,783 --> 00:02:59,529 Would you want to sing a song for us? 77 00:02:59,565 --> 00:03:00,633 What a nice thought, 78 00:03:00,669 --> 00:03:02,667 but you know what, I don't have anything prepared. 79 00:03:02,703 --> 00:03:04,225 Okay, well, if you don't want to sing, 80 00:03:04,261 --> 00:03:05,993 you could just tell us the inspiring story 81 00:03:06,029 --> 00:03:08,666 of how Doug saved you from being a mulch-butt ho. 82 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:11,792 I would like to sing a song in honor of my dear friend 83 00:03:11,828 --> 00:03:12,931 Doug Judy. 84 00:03:13,382 --> 00:03:15,363 Oh, nothing better after a long shift 85 00:03:15,399 --> 00:03:16,587 than coming to Shaw's. 86 00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:18,919 It's like Cheers, where everybody knows your name. 87 00:03:18,955 --> 00:03:20,441 A place where everybody knows your name is hell. 88 00:03:20,477 --> 00:03:22,680 - You're describing hell. - Guys, guys, guys. 89 00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:23,986 Are those... 90 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:25,422 Firefighters. 91 00:03:25,612 --> 00:03:26,874 Hey, what's going on? 92 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,734 Why is the FDNY in our cop bar? 93 00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:31,780 We needed a new place, since our bar, O'Brien's, burned down. 94 00:03:31,816 --> 00:03:33,514 - You couldn't put that out? - They probably started it. 95 00:03:33,550 --> 00:03:35,258 Most arsonists turn out to be firefighters. 96 00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,260 That's not true, though it is very common, 97 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,696 and definitely what happened in this case. 98 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,002 I'm surprised you guys even want to come here 99 00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,482 since you have to take the stairs. 100 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,353 I know how much you like sliding on poles. 101 00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:44,789 We don't like sliding on poles. 102 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,835 We do it to save lives. It's dangerous. 103 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,358 You can ask my best friend Steve. 104 00:03:48,587 --> 00:03:50,502 Oh, no, wait, you can't, actually, 105 00:03:50,538 --> 00:03:51,796 because he's dead. 106 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,710 Tripped through a pole hole, broke his neck. 107 00:03:53,746 --> 00:03:54,941 That's horrible. 108 00:03:54,977 --> 00:03:56,714 Sorry, but this is a firefighter bar now. 109 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:59,128 Although we might want to make some changes to the decor. 110 00:03:59,164 --> 00:04:01,037 I'm thinking some old-timey pressure gauges, 111 00:04:01,073 --> 00:04:02,423 maybe an autographed photo 112 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:03,939 of Denis Leary from "Rescue Me." 113 00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:05,942 - You wouldn't. - Wouldn't I? 114 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,508 Check it out. 115 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,292 You son of a bitch. 116 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,642 ♪ Doug Judy ♪ 117 00:04:11,895 --> 00:04:16,009 ♪ I wish you were alive, Doug Judy ♪ 118 00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:19,868 ♪ God will give you a high five ♪ 119 00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,391 ♪ Doug Judy ♪ 120 00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:23,654 Oh, no, he gave himself a key change. 121 00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:27,385 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, Doug Judy ♪ 122 00:04:27,421 --> 00:04:30,133 ♪ You're a friend, friend, friend ♪ 123 00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:32,402 ♪ Doug Judy! ♪ 124 00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:37,668 ♪ This song is at its end ♪ 125 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,279 Thank you so much. You've been a great audience. 126 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,431 I mean, it's a funeral. That's psychotic. 127 00:04:41,467 --> 00:04:42,513 I'm so sorry. 128 00:04:43,255 --> 00:04:44,735 Why are there firefighters here? 129 00:04:44,771 --> 00:04:46,270 Did one of them turn out to be an arsonist 130 00:04:46,306 --> 00:04:47,935 - and burn down their own bar? - Actually, yes. 131 00:04:47,971 --> 00:04:49,377 So predictable. But why did you call me? 132 00:04:49,413 --> 00:04:50,507 There's nothing I can do about this. 133 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:52,422 You have gravitas. Everyone listens to you. 134 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,292 Look, even if I could save Shaw's, I'm not sure I'd want to. 135 00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:56,948 This place is a hovel. 136 00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:59,473 The only wine they serve is from the Delaware Water Gap. 137 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,205 It's called "Charbonnay." 138 00:05:01,241 --> 00:05:03,317 But this is our bar, and it has been forever. 139 00:05:03,353 --> 00:05:04,485 Change is a good thing. 140 00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:05,696 Just yesterday, you were ranting 141 00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,611 about the Philharmonic adding a second piccolo. 142 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,200 It's too many. It'll muddle the sound. 143 00:05:09,236 --> 00:05:10,281 I'm sorry I brought it up. 144 00:05:10,317 --> 00:05:11,963 Look, we can find a new bar 145 00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,587 that's not beneath us. 146 00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:14,836 What about Bel Vino? 147 00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,801 They've got a great selection of Italian reds, 148 00:05:16,837 --> 00:05:18,310 and your feet don't stick to the floor 149 00:05:18,346 --> 00:05:19,623 if you stand in one place too long. 150 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,799 Fine. If you're not gonna do anything, then I will. 151 00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,829 Hank, you got to get rid of these hose humpers. 152 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,130 - It's them or us. - Look, guys, I don't want to take sides. 153 00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:27,327 I just want to make money. 154 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,486 Then keep it a cop bar. We drink like crazy. 155 00:05:29,522 --> 00:05:31,461 Yeah, 'cause of all the tragedy we experience 156 00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,376 on a daily basis, son. 157 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:36,510 Oh, yeah? We experience plenty of tragedy too. 158 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,232 We lose a man a year to the pole hole. 159 00:05:38,268 --> 00:05:39,687 How about this? 160 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,646 If it's about money, let's just have a drink-off. 161 00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:44,909 Whoever racks up the biggest tab by closing time 162 00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,389 gets to keep Shaw's. 163 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,650 Okay, defectives. 164 00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,917 - My guys can handle that. - Oh, can they? 165 00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,355 'Cause the Nine-Nine's about to bring the real heat. 166 00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:59,096 Get ready for the back draft, bitch. 167 00:05:59,555 --> 00:06:01,336 Jake, are you upset? Where are you going? 168 00:06:01,372 --> 00:06:02,843 Are you embarrassed about your singing? 169 00:06:02,879 --> 00:06:04,359 - Doug Judy. - What? 170 00:06:04,395 --> 00:06:07,802 Hey, Jake. Man, that song was moving AF. 171 00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:09,543 We got to lay that down. 172 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:12,154 ♪ Doug Judy, he's smushing on the beach ♪ 173 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,066 Don't try and duet with me, you bastard. 174 00:06:14,102 --> 00:06:15,699 You tricked me. Now give me a hug. 175 00:06:15,735 --> 00:06:17,223 I'm so happy you're alive. I'll never forgive you. 176 00:06:17,259 --> 00:06:18,465 You're my best friend. 177 00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:19,770 Whoo, I just went through a lot of emotions real fast, 178 00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,511 but I think I'm back to normal now. 179 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,383 - Should we get lunch? - I would love a cheesesteak. 180 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,949 I was thinking the exact same thing, probably 'cause... 181 00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:26,734 The coffin looks like a hoagie roll. 182 00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,518 Judy, what the hell is going on? 183 00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:30,375 Uh, who are you, and where is Rosa? 184 00:06:30,411 --> 00:06:32,151 I'm his boss, and I want answers. 185 00:06:32,187 --> 00:06:33,918 All right. You know who Stefano Lucas is? 186 00:06:33,954 --> 00:06:35,046 The arms dealer? 187 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,236 I got word he put a hit out on me, so I had to disappear. 188 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,111 Why does Stefano Lucas want you dead? 189 00:06:39,147 --> 00:06:40,487 His favorite Ferrari got stolen, 190 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,053 and for some reason he thinks I did it. 191 00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,533 Probably because someone's been jacking cars 192 00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:44,969 all over Brooklyn using your MO. 193 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,449 Oh, my God. Jake, are you saying 194 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,029 - what I think you're saying? - Yes. 195 00:06:48,065 --> 00:06:49,931 You have a copycat. 196 00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,978 I didn't think I'd accomplished enough in my career for this. 197 00:06:52,014 --> 00:06:53,064 I know, it's big. 198 00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:55,023 It just feels so good to be seen, you know? 199 00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,025 Wait. The only way to catch a copycat 200 00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:59,358 is to team up with the original criminal. 201 00:06:59,394 --> 00:07:01,273 I'm back on the force! Give me a gun. 202 00:07:01,309 --> 00:07:03,553 No! There is no copycat. You did it. 203 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,468 Not me. I'm living that straight life. 204 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,688 Terry refuses to believe it. He thinks people can't change. 205 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,399 Tell that to Bruce Banner's pants and shirt. 206 00:07:09,435 --> 00:07:10,517 That's what I said. 207 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,779 Doug Judy, you're under arrest. 208 00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,555 What? Sarge? 209 00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:17,562 You are really bringing down the vibe at this funeral. 210 00:07:19,592 --> 00:07:20,827 What the hell is that? 211 00:07:20,863 --> 00:07:22,268 Jake got me this disguise 212 00:07:22,304 --> 00:07:24,747 so some criminal doesn't see me in here and tell Stefano. 213 00:07:24,783 --> 00:07:26,685 Okay, but why is Jake also wearing them? 214 00:07:26,721 --> 00:07:29,144 Uh, because it looks super cool, Sarge. 215 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,189 We look like the hot twins from "The Matrix." 216 00:07:33,414 --> 00:07:34,752 We are getting aggravated. 217 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,499 - You look like Milli Vanilli. - Ooh! I call Vanilli. 218 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,327 Ah, I want to be Nilli, but you got it. 219 00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,879 - He's the best one. - You know it's true. 220 00:07:39,934 --> 00:07:41,630 So did you check out Judy's alibi? 221 00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:44,072 Yes, and surprisingly, it checks out. 222 00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,401 Last Saturday night, Doug was deejaying 223 00:07:46,437 --> 00:07:47,988 Joshy Greenbaum's bar mitzvah. 224 00:07:48,024 --> 00:07:49,453 That was a wild party. 225 00:07:49,489 --> 00:07:51,234 Auntie Karen is a freak. 226 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:52,691 Judy, you deejay bar mitzvahs? 227 00:07:52,727 --> 00:07:54,343 Best gig I ever had. No one likes hip-hop more 228 00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,813 than a 13-year-old Jewish boy. 229 00:07:55,849 --> 00:07:58,173 - Mm. So true. - I'm not buying it. 230 00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,058 Probably stealing cash off the gift table. 231 00:08:00,094 --> 00:08:01,978 Sarge, come on. He has an alibi. 232 00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,469 Let's just team up and try and catch the copycat. 233 00:08:04,505 --> 00:08:05,758 A thousand push-ups. 234 00:08:05,794 --> 00:08:07,136 It's something Rosa and I used to say. 235 00:08:07,172 --> 00:08:08,856 It just means trust me. If Judy's a criminal, 236 00:08:08,892 --> 00:08:11,015 I'll do a thousand push-ups, and since you're so confident, 237 00:08:11,051 --> 00:08:12,404 if you're wrong, you can do 'em. 238 00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:14,189 And a thousand push-ups? That's a lot to you? 239 00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:15,760 You go to hell, Terry. 240 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,427 Make it 100,000 push-ups, and I'm in. 241 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,063 Obviously I can't do that much exercise, 242 00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,152 but it doesn't matter, because Doug Judy is telling the truth, 243 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:22,327 - right, Judy? - I got you, baby. 244 00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,112 So fine. 100,000 push-ups. 245 00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,342 You happy, Sarge? 246 00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:28,112 - Great. Now, Doug... - You never call me Doug. 247 00:08:28,148 --> 00:08:29,236 Yeah, well, you called me Jake earlier. 248 00:08:29,272 --> 00:08:30,476 I thought we were switching to first names. 249 00:08:30,512 --> 00:08:31,789 I was thinking the same exact thing! 250 00:08:31,825 --> 00:08:33,164 I was like, "Why not call him Jake?" 251 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,383 - We're bonding, man. - 'Cause he's so official. 252 00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:38,343 But it's chill now. 253 00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:40,476 - So, Doug... - Yes, Jake? 254 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,783 Now that we know the copycat is using your playbook, 255 00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:45,133 if you were still in the game... which you're not, 256 00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:47,570 we all agree... what would your next move be? 257 00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,485 It's fight night at Barclays. 258 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,400 No sport attracts more ultra-wealthy people 259 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,097 with super-nice cars than boxing. 260 00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,977 Really? What about the sport of hunting man? 261 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,406 - You got me. - That's not a thing. 262 00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:58,907 Right. So should we just start at Barclays then? 263 00:08:58,943 --> 00:09:01,758 Great. But first, we got to make a quick little pit stop on the way. 264 00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,064 What? Where? 265 00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:12,416 Okay, here are the rules to the contest. 266 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,596 If you order a drink, 267 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,830 it must be fully consumed before you order another. 268 00:09:15,866 --> 00:09:18,253 Each team's tab will be tracked on that board. 269 00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:20,472 We don't want anyone getting alcohol poisoning, 270 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,434 so if you throw up, you're disqualified. 271 00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:24,651 I never throw up. I just tell my stomach to deal with it. 272 00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,348 My body is terrified of me. 273 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:27,697 Guys, there's no way we can win. 274 00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:29,569 There's nine of them and six of us. 275 00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,614 Five of you. I'm going home. 276 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,485 Although perhaps I'll stop at Bel Vino on the way, 277 00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:34,966 have a glass of Sancerre. 278 00:09:35,002 --> 00:09:36,358 Might even try the quince paste 279 00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:39,254 if I'm feeling... naughty. 280 00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:40,623 You're really gonna let these firefighters 281 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,277 take Shaw's from us? 282 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,453 Think of all the celebrations we've had here, 283 00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,831 all the times Terry has yelled "Nine-Nine!" 284 00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:47,868 I hate it when he says that. 285 00:09:47,904 --> 00:09:49,501 He should say, "Cheers 286 00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:50,677 to the Ninety-Ninth Precinct!" 287 00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:53,462 We shouldn't be here. 288 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:54,898 If you're worried that someone will recognize me 289 00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,794 and find out I'm still alive, they won't. 290 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,293 There's not too many hardened criminals 291 00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:00,295 at Justin Friedman's bar mitzvah. 292 00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:03,679 Although there is a murderer on the loose, 293 00:10:03,715 --> 00:10:05,839 'cause Kevin Goldman is killing those dance moves! 294 00:10:05,875 --> 00:10:07,006 Get it, Kevin! 295 00:10:07,042 --> 00:10:08,871 That's the floss. He's flossing. 296 00:10:08,907 --> 00:10:10,783 It's just that we should be at Barclays already. 297 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:11,995 The fights are starting soon. 298 00:10:12,031 --> 00:10:13,700 Rich guys never show up on time. 299 00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:15,876 Besides, I promised Justin I'd be here. 300 00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,225 What up, J-Smooth! 301 00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:22,766 Gone straight, my ass. I got you, Doug Judy. 302 00:10:22,802 --> 00:10:23,848 - Huh? - What are you talking about? 303 00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,861 Something felt wrong, stopping for this bar mitzvah, 304 00:10:25,897 --> 00:10:27,566 so I sent some plainclothes officers 305 00:10:27,602 --> 00:10:29,194 to watch the lots at Barclays. 306 00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:31,042 - They just caught the copycat. - I don't understand. 307 00:10:31,078 --> 00:10:32,632 If anything, that proves Judy's innocent. 308 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,078 He's been standing here with us the whole time. 309 00:10:34,114 --> 00:10:36,636 Which was his plan! Establish an alibi, 310 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,492 so his partner can go off stealing cars. 311 00:10:38,528 --> 00:10:39,660 I don't have a partner. 312 00:10:39,696 --> 00:10:41,858 Whoever this is, I promise you, I do not know him. 313 00:10:42,135 --> 00:10:44,295 Actually, Doug, I think you do. 314 00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,688 Oh, my God. 315 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,211 Trudy Judy! 316 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,128 You still want to pretend you had nothing to do with this? 317 00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,087 I didn't, and she didn't either. 318 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,272 Trudy Judy's not a car thief. 319 00:10:54,308 --> 00:10:55,657 Trudy Judy's an angel. 320 00:10:55,693 --> 00:10:57,208 She's putting herself through nursing school. 321 00:10:57,244 --> 00:10:58,903 And nurses are the best of our society. 322 00:10:58,939 --> 00:11:00,050 Name one bad nurse. 323 00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:02,308 Nurse Ratched. Kathy Bates in "Misery." 324 00:11:02,344 --> 00:11:03,718 Nurse Jackie had a pill problem. 325 00:11:03,754 --> 00:11:05,403 Okay, damn, you got a lot of real good examples 326 00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:07,231 off the top of your head. You believe me, right, Jake? 327 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,885 I mean, the fact pattern's not great, 328 00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:10,639 but Trudy did seem very nice when I met her. 329 00:11:10,675 --> 00:11:12,104 You trying to get your freak on with my sister? 330 00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:12,976 What? No. 331 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,412 I see you looking at Trudy Judy's booty. 332 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,892 I am not looking at Trudy Judy's booty. 333 00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,067 Oh, you don't think she's a cutie? 334 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,624 - Don't be snooty. - She's a beauty, 335 00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:20,114 - but I'm on duty. - And you're married. 336 00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,376 Well, yeah, but that doesn't rhyme. 337 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:22,766 Sorry, I just get so overprotective. 338 00:11:22,802 --> 00:11:24,037 She's such a good kid. 339 00:11:24,073 --> 00:11:25,772 I guarantee you, she didn't steal those cars. 340 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,948 We caught her sitting in a Bentley with a power amplifier 341 00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:30,254 and a homemade override plugged into the CAN bus. 342 00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:31,471 Yeah, she guilty. 343 00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:34,440 I can't believe you made us think you were dead. 344 00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:35,827 I can't believe you're out here stealing cars. 345 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,261 - That's for lowlifes. - You steal cars. 346 00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:39,350 And I'm a lowlife. A gorgeous, charming, 347 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,934 super smart lowlife beloved by all. 348 00:11:40,970 --> 00:11:42,102 I'm sorry, Dougie. 349 00:11:42,138 --> 00:11:43,369 I was falling behind on my student loans. 350 00:11:43,405 --> 00:11:44,659 I had to do something. 351 00:11:44,695 --> 00:11:46,296 Guys, if you weren't working together, 352 00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:47,725 how did she know all your signature moves? 353 00:11:47,761 --> 00:11:49,356 I found some of Doug's old notebooks. 354 00:11:49,392 --> 00:11:50,541 Those are notes for my memoir. 355 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,009 Memoir? Do you have title ideas yet? 356 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,803 I was just gonna call it "The Pontiac Bandit..." 357 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,100 - Oh, is that it? - Yeah. 358 00:11:58,136 --> 00:11:59,672 - Okay. - I hated stealing cars. 359 00:11:59,708 --> 00:12:02,217 I was gonna stop as soon as nursing school was paid off, I swear. 360 00:12:02,253 --> 00:12:03,486 It was a mistake. 361 00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:05,112 That's good enough for me. Come on, Trudy, let's go home. 362 00:12:05,148 --> 00:12:07,264 That's not really how arresting works. 363 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,027 - She's going to jail. - Wait, wait, wait. 364 00:12:09,063 --> 00:12:10,168 What if we get you a bigger fish? 365 00:12:10,204 --> 00:12:11,754 - What if we can get you Stefano? - Who? 366 00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:15,125 That cherry red 1961 Ferrari 250GT California you took 367 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:17,040 belongs to a guy named Stefano Lucas. 368 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,955 He thinks I did it, and now he wants to kill me. 369 00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:20,348 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. 370 00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:21,915 It's all good. You have the car, 371 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,133 so I call him, tell him I'm not dead, 372 00:12:24,169 --> 00:12:25,779 say I want to give him his car back, 373 00:12:25,815 --> 00:12:27,877 arrange a drop, and these guys take him down or die trying. 374 00:12:28,136 --> 00:12:29,572 That is interesting. 375 00:12:29,608 --> 00:12:31,141 Stefano almost never comes out in public. 376 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,056 It would be a huge collar for the Nine-Nine. 377 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,402 What do you say, Sarge? 100,000 push-ups? 378 00:12:36,521 --> 00:12:39,019 Fine. If you deliver Stefano, I'll talk to the DA 379 00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,629 about a reduced sentence for your sister. 380 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:43,327 Thank you so much. There's just one problem. 381 00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,854 I don't have the car. 382 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,374 I already handed it off to a fence. 383 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,855 Oh, Judy, Judy, you screwed me. 384 00:12:48,891 --> 00:12:49,827 _ 385 00:12:49,862 --> 00:12:51,861 Four hours left. We're down $58. 386 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,768 - Amy, where you at? - Four drinks. 387 00:12:53,854 --> 00:12:55,513 - What's four-drink Amy again? - Why don't you come over here 388 00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,907 - and find out? - Right, Horny Amy. 389 00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,836 It feels like you should retire that one for the MeToo era. 390 00:12:59,872 --> 00:13:01,868 Why don't you come over here and make me? 391 00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:03,068 All right, there's only one thing left to do. 392 00:13:03,104 --> 00:13:04,218 Drink faster. 393 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,306 Set a bunch of fires throughout the city. 394 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,969 - Mine's better. - No! 395 00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:08,741 We can do this. 396 00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:10,833 Things seem bleak now, 397 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,575 but the night is always darkest before the dawn. 398 00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:15,787 This is Shaw's. 399 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,048 We've had weddings here, 400 00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:19,712 and funerals. 401 00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,420 Shaw's is part of our family, 402 00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,654 because that is what we are. 403 00:13:25,817 --> 00:13:26,931 A family. 404 00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:29,634 And we're not just Amy and Rosa 405 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,201 and Hitchcock and... 406 00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:41,864 So the fence, Dallas, he works in there. 407 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,257 I don't like him. My rule? 408 00:13:43,293 --> 00:13:45,095 Never trust anyone named after a city. 409 00:13:45,131 --> 00:13:47,217 - What about Orlando Bloom? - I never thought about him being named 410 00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,306 after the city before, and his last name is Bloom? 411 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,352 Wait a minute. Did we just realize something crazy? 412 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,655 No, everyone knows it's a crazy name. 413 00:13:53,691 --> 00:13:55,040 Now can we just focus on the meet-up? 414 00:13:55,076 --> 00:13:56,574 - Fine. - All right, Dallas is creepy 415 00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:59,142 and paranoid, and he really freaked me out that last time. 416 00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,014 - I don't want to go in alone. - Don't worry, kid. 417 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,905 I'll be there right next to you, as always. 418 00:14:02,941 --> 00:14:05,018 Aw. Sarge, why don't you say stuff like that to me? 419 00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:08,108 No, look, I do not trust the Judys going anywhere alone. 420 00:14:08,356 --> 00:14:09,892 Doug, you stay with Jake. I'll go in with Trudy. 421 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,241 I just need a cover story. 422 00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,627 We could say that you're my boyfriend. 423 00:14:12,663 --> 00:14:13,896 No. No, no, no, I don't want 424 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,705 my little sister fake-dating some pervert. 425 00:14:15,741 --> 00:14:17,202 What? Why am I a pervert? 426 00:14:17,238 --> 00:14:18,683 Uh, have you ever met a nice, normal guy 427 00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,468 that wears suspenders every day? 428 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,946 What kind of person has to tie their pants down 429 00:14:21,982 --> 00:14:23,253 to keep them from flying off? 430 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,011 That's not what suspenders are for, man. 431 00:14:25,047 --> 00:14:26,256 Guys, we don't have time 432 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,346 to figure out what suspenders are for, all right? 433 00:14:28,382 --> 00:14:29,956 Now, Trudy, this is undercover work. 434 00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,740 It can be very intense. Are you sure you can handle it? 435 00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:34,264 I mean, I'll do my best. 436 00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:36,642 - Who's this? - This is Deion. He's my man. 437 00:14:36,678 --> 00:14:39,488 Ask me another question, you simple little barn animal. 438 00:14:39,524 --> 00:14:41,177 Okay, so she can handle it. 439 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,272 Why is your boyfriend here? 440 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,690 Who said boyfriend? Deion and I freak, 441 00:14:44,726 --> 00:14:46,091 then he shuts his pretty little mouth 442 00:14:46,127 --> 00:14:47,495 and lets me handle my business. 443 00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,146 I don't like the direction this is going. 444 00:14:49,182 --> 00:14:50,454 Easy. She's just playing a part. 445 00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:51,934 Pretty big age difference here. 446 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,631 - Where'd you guys meet? - The club. 447 00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,198 Deion was a bouncer, 448 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:58,071 and I told him I wanted him to bounce on me. 449 00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,420 Oh, what is that? 450 00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:00,725 Is she rubbing on his mic? 451 00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,466 The mic that was taped to his chest? 452 00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,946 You should feel these. 453 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,643 They're like two baseball bases. 454 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,167 Make 'em pop, daddy. 455 00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,603 Daddy's not sure this is the time. 456 00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:09,731 Do it, daddy! 457 00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,072 Ooh, ow! Ooh, ow! 458 00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:13,978 Get your hands off her, pervert! 459 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,650 Judy! Judy! I tried to stop him. 460 00:15:15,686 --> 00:15:17,046 That's my baby sister you're caressing. 461 00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:19,797 What? How can I caress her with my pecs? 462 00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:21,265 Look at those things. They got thumbs. 463 00:15:21,301 --> 00:15:23,358 Guys, guys, stop! Where is Dallas? 464 00:15:23,394 --> 00:15:25,022 I think he got spooked and ran away. 465 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,316 Good job, Doug Judy. 466 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,492 You just cost your sister a chance at a reduced sentence. 467 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:31,539 Oh, no! Why is my tone so playful? 468 00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,323 Why is there a twinkle in my eye? 469 00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:39,677 Because I just found our 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. 470 00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,114 Oh, ho, ho! 471 00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:43,203 Ladies and gents and pervert Terry, 472 00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,813 we are in business. 473 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,163 Sorry, Sarge, I got caught up in the moment there. 474 00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,035 - _ - Guys, I threw up. 475 00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:50,514 Oh, man, it's over. 476 00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,168 - We need a miracle. - I'm here. 477 00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,812 Captain Holt! How are you here? 478 00:15:53,848 --> 00:15:55,345 You called me. You didn't stop calling me. 479 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,434 I didn't call you. Look. 480 00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:59,262 You left 17 voicemails. 481 00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:00,524 Here's one. 482 00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:03,001 Holt! You got to come save us. 483 00:16:03,037 --> 00:16:04,354 We need a lie to get you here. 484 00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:05,529 Charles, what should I say? 485 00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:07,096 That I got shot in the face. 486 00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:09,029 Ooh, and tell him to bring pizza. 487 00:16:09,065 --> 00:16:10,675 Whoo! Crampon Holt! 488 00:16:10,711 --> 00:16:11,886 We're losing. 489 00:16:11,922 --> 00:16:13,668 - Yeah! - Why are you dancing? 490 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,496 Oh, I was up to nine-drink Amy, 491 00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,324 who speaks French, 492 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,899 and then I hurl... 493 00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,502 I hurl... hurled. 494 00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:23,373 What she's trying to say is that she vomited, 495 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,201 and now she's back down to three-drink Amy, 496 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,333 or Amy Dance Pants. 497 00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,443 You know it. 498 00:16:28,233 --> 00:16:29,466 My God. 499 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,468 Hitchcock, are you the only person still making sense? 500 00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:33,209 Yeah. It's bad. 501 00:16:33,447 --> 00:16:35,884 So are you gonna make us give up, Clappin? 502 00:16:35,981 --> 00:16:37,387 Or are you here to tell us to stop? 503 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,041 No, I'm here to help you win. 504 00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:41,044 What is happening? Why is this? 505 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,523 It's something you said on one of your voicemails, 506 00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,307 after you had sung the entirety of a song 507 00:16:44,343 --> 00:16:46,250 called "Shake Whatcha Mama Gave Ya." 508 00:16:46,286 --> 00:16:47,939 You thought you had hung up, but you hadn't. 509 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:51,532 Anyway, bye-bye. What am I doing calling him? 510 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:54,187 He doesn't care about us or what we want. 511 00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,058 When I heard that, I was shaken to my core. 512 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,969 I thought this bar was beneath me, 513 00:16:58,005 --> 00:17:00,410 but what was actually beneath me was my own behavior. 514 00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:02,412 - I had turned my back on... - Holt! 515 00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,110 We do not have time for this. 516 00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,589 Just drinky, drinky! 517 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:10,072 Hank, bring me a Charbonnay. 518 00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:13,154 All right, Stefano should be here any minute. 519 00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:14,642 I just want to thank you guys so much for helping me. 520 00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,165 I don't deserve your kindness. 521 00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,601 Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. 522 00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,473 We all make bad decisions when we're younger. 523 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,475 - I was once in a flash mob. - Ew. 524 00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:22,936 Something's off about this. 525 00:17:22,972 --> 00:17:24,391 I don't like leaving Judy out there alone. 526 00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:25,921 Relax, we have a tracker on the car, 527 00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,263 a tracker on Doug Judy, 528 00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,396 and ESU has the entire area surrounded. 529 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,267 - It's gonna be fine. - We got movement. 530 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,269 Okay, everyone, to your positions. 531 00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:34,531 On my signal. 532 00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,958 Hold. Hold. 533 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:38,883 Hold. 534 00:17:39,078 --> 00:17:40,732 Sorry, I started holding too soon. 535 00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,626 Let's start over. Hold. 536 00:17:42,983 --> 00:17:44,324 Hold. 537 00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,847 And... 538 00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:50,542 Everyone, stop holding! Go, go, go, go! 539 00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,801 Where is he? Where is he? 540 00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:55,770 Got him. They got Stefano. 541 00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:57,902 No, not Stefano. The Pontiac Bandit. 542 00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:59,730 - Where is... - Doug Judy here. 543 00:17:59,922 --> 00:18:01,228 Y'all see that car blow up? 544 00:18:01,264 --> 00:18:03,106 Yeah, we did. Why did you do that? 545 00:18:03,142 --> 00:18:04,340 You think I did that? 546 00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:05,736 Doug Judy does not work with fire. 547 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,390 Yeah, he's like the Hound from "Game of Thrones." 548 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,752 I am like the Hound. And you're my Arya. 549 00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:10,959 - Right? - Guys! 550 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,440 If Doug Judy didn't blow up the car, who did? 551 00:18:15,449 --> 00:18:17,313 Trudy Judy. 552 00:18:18,081 --> 00:18:19,081 _ 553 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,277 Damn, sir, you took that Charbonnay to the house. 554 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,105 - How you feeling? - Let me take stock. 555 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,932 My equilibrium is askew, 556 00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:30,109 my vision is partially impaired, 557 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,936 and I'm clearly slurring my words. 558 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,025 To put a fine point on it, your boy is turnt. 559 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,449 Well, well, well, there's only a minute left, 560 00:18:36,485 --> 00:18:38,117 and you are six bucks down. 561 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,379 I don't think you guys are gonna make it. 562 00:18:39,587 --> 00:18:40,782 Hank, another Charb. 563 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,122 This one's hot. It was sitting on the radiator. 564 00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,390 - He's never gonna make it. - Yes, he will. 565 00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,262 Just don't breathe. Let the liquid into your lungs. 566 00:18:55,585 --> 00:18:59,442 Five, four, three, two... 567 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:00,965 Closing time! Cops win! 568 00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:08,364 All right, fine, the bar is yours. 569 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:12,002 But we're keeping this! 570 00:19:12,038 --> 00:19:13,195 Come on. 571 00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,241 Before we all go home and pass out, 572 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:18,200 I want to say how sorry I am that I deserted you earlier. 573 00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:21,247 I want you to know that I care about you all so very much, 574 00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:22,552 each and every one of you. 575 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,376 Boyle, Santiago, Diaz, Hitchcock, Scu... 576 00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:30,125 All right, I have officers looking for her. 577 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,909 She was on foot. She couldn't have gone far. 578 00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:34,042 This is her. 579 00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:36,218 - Where are you, Trudy? - In the wind, Dougie. 580 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:38,177 Okay, that's a cool thing to say, but what are you doing? 581 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,395 They were gonna reduce your charges. 582 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,092 Reduced charges are still charges, 583 00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:42,485 and I can't go to prison. 584 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,532 There are no dudes there, and I need to smush! 585 00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:47,186 - Trudy! - Oh, grow up, Doug. 586 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,188 I'm an adult woman who's horny all the time. 587 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,451 - What is going on? - Oh, are you judging me, ho? 588 00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:53,017 Trudy, running from the cops is a felony. 589 00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,453 That means no more nursing school. 590 00:19:54,489 --> 00:19:55,664 Good. It sucked. 591 00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:56,895 I only went to, like, one class. 592 00:19:56,931 --> 00:19:58,449 - What? - It was boring as hell. 593 00:19:58,485 --> 00:20:00,468 So then I started running Internet scams. 594 00:20:00,504 --> 00:20:01,722 Then there was identity theft. 595 00:20:01,758 --> 00:20:03,114 I was Queen Latifah for a bit. 596 00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:05,029 Then Lil' Kim. That was less believable. 597 00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:07,597 But then I found your old notebooks. 598 00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:10,165 How come you never told me how much fun car thieving is? 599 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,028 Because I didn't want you to fall in love with it. 600 00:20:12,064 --> 00:20:13,348 Wait, I'm confused. 601 00:20:13,384 --> 00:20:14,909 When did you put the bomb in the Ferrari? 602 00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,432 I didn't do it. Dallas did. 603 00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:18,898 And Dallas isn't some criminal I'm afraid of. 604 00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:20,849 He's my employee. Say what's up, Dallas. 605 00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:22,612 - Wassup? - Named after a city. 606 00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,223 The hard part was trying to figure out 607 00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,917 how to tell him my plan, so then I came up 608 00:20:25,953 --> 00:20:27,182 with that whole boyfriend thing, 609 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,923 because I needed a distraction. 610 00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:30,664 I knew you'd rush in, all weird and old-fashioned, 611 00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:32,231 try to protect my honor. 612 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,407 How can I caress her with my pecs? 613 00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:36,235 Look at those things. They got thumbs. 614 00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:37,888 I don't need you to protect me, Doug. 615 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,107 You're my baby sister. 616 00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:40,369 I got to look out for you. 617 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,676 That's so sweet, and also dumb. 618 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,741 I'll see you at Christmas, sucker! 619 00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,288 I love you, big bro. 620 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,407 Trudy! 621 00:20:47,815 --> 00:20:50,118 Man, I am gutted. This is awful. 622 00:20:50,161 --> 00:20:52,033 Is this how you feel every time I trick you? 623 00:20:52,069 --> 00:20:53,752 Pretty much. Yeah, it always hurts. 624 00:20:53,788 --> 00:20:54,990 Wow, I'm sorry, man. 625 00:20:55,026 --> 00:20:56,427 It must be really hard to hang out with me. 626 00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:58,431 Well, it's a tough relationship, but it's exciting. 627 00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,283 Hey, Doug, I'm sorry for not trusting you. 628 00:21:00,319 --> 00:21:01,866 Turns out you had nothing to do with this. 629 00:21:01,902 --> 00:21:04,437 Oh, so you admit people can change. 630 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,178 Yes. Bruce Banner's pants and shirt were correct. 631 00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:08,658 You know what this means, right? 632 00:21:08,993 --> 00:21:10,555 6,203. 633 00:21:10,591 --> 00:21:12,575 6,204. 634 00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:14,403 I am so glad I lost this bet. 635 00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:16,275 I never find time for things I enjoy. 636 00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:17,536 This is so unsatisfying. 637 00:21:17,572 --> 00:21:18,812 You're not even sweating. 638 00:21:18,848 --> 00:21:20,416 It's too easy. Get on my back, Jake. 639 00:21:20,452 --> 00:21:21,869 - No, I'm not... - Get on my back, Jake! 640 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,428 Coming, strong man! 641 00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:28,587 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 48746

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