Original subtitles

Well, what is it that they're...

that younger women are pushing up against?

They seem to have a list of options to choose on.

The options are not as narrow

as they might have been... 30 years ago.

So where does the problem lie now?

Um, I think that...

Um, and...

um, and, um, um, um, um and...

Anna? How you doing?

It looks a little bit too big.

Move over here so we can get a better look.

C'mon.

C'mon.

You look so pretty with your hair back.

You're gonna wear a little makeup

for the wedding, aren't you?

Mom.

I've read the lesbian handbook from cover to cover

and it doesn't say anything about no makeup.

Mom, I have to go.

I still have to get something to eat.

You can do lip gloss.

Lipgloss is easy. It's almost invisible.

And lift up your arms. She needs to fix the body.

Ahhhh...

Oh, Ellen! You look gorgeous.

Oh, you look beautiful.

Don't cry. Mom, please don't cry.

Ay, mi muchachita, Linda.

It's perfect. Thank you so much.

Fuck you!

Come on, lady! Learn how to drive!

Delivery!

Anna, didn't you just come back from lunch?

Yeah, but I didn't actually eat anything.

You come back late and you haven't eaten?

That's F'd up.

Oh, I thought you said no mayo?

- I did. - Well, why didn't you tell him?

Oh, now look at this.

This is adorable. You would look great in this.

- You think so? - Yeah.

It's a little tight, isn't it?

It's sexy.

Maude, can you come back here for a sec?

She wants to look at your D's.

Duty calls.

I'll be right there, Dr. Granger.

[phone ringing]

Anna, it's Justine - again.

I know you're there. Would you pick up?

Look, I just wanted to say it's been three weeks

and I really want my CDs back.

I've already asked you like 100 times.

You can just put them in a box and leave them outside.

I'll come by when you're at work tomorrow.

And stop calling Kelly and Al.

They're my friends.

Ellen, can you pass me the mashed potatoes, please?

So Anna, guess you'll be going to UCSB in the fall?

You're following in Kevin and Ellen's footsteps, huh?

It's a good school.

Well, I didn't get in.

Oh... what were your backups?

She was hoping to get in.

Well, sometimes it's best to just sit out a year or so

and think about what you want to do.

Kevin changed his major three times his freshman year.

- Only three? - Oh, at least that.

So the wedding planner called me today,

freaking out over the wedding list.

I told her that we'd give her final numbers by Friday.

Oh, absolutely.

Justine is coming, Anna?

Yeah.

Well, no.

- Why not? - Mom.

Anna has the prettiest girlfriend.

You'll love her.

She tells the best jokes. Very outgoing.

Mom, we broke up.

Why didn't you tell anybody?

I didn't want to bother you guys.

You guys are busy with the wedding.

Not that busy.

Would anybody like to have some more wine?

Oh, absolutely.

This was really good.

A breakup is a great opportunity for you

to spend some time on yourself.

Hey, I know what you need.

I promise it'll make you feel so much better!

I don't know. You think so?

Look, your discount's gonna kick in in two months.

Do you know how many people would kill to get

a 50% discount on a boob job?

It's like Christmas... but for your boobs.

- I'll think about it. - Good for you.

Everything's gonna work out, okay?

C'mon.

- Chin up! - Bye, Maude.

Aww, shit.

You hiding from me?

No?

Come here.

Come on.

I'm not going to bite you.

Did you call the cops?

I tried, but I didn't get a signal.

What's your name?

Anna.

Here...

Hold this.

You do know it's illegal to deface public property, right?

A felony in California.

What are you doing?!

Don't take it personally.

Everyone's gotta have insurance.

Come here.

Come here.

I run a group of girls called Clits in Action.

It's catchy, right?

You could just call us the CIA

if it makes you feel better.

We're getting together later on tonight.

I think you might get something out of it.

I know you would.

Here's my number.

Sadie.

Call me if you're coming.

I'd love to see you there.

Okay.

Guess I'll take that back.

Yeah.

Bye, Anna.

Tomorrow on Marcy Maloney, we'll hear from...

Hey...

Kevin and I are leaving now.

Are you sure you don't wanna talk?

I can tell him to wait.

No.

Listen, I think you need to move out.

Yeah.

Look, Anna...

People break up.

It sucks, but you have to move on.

Call me if you want.

Hey there, girls and gals.

You've reached Sadie's voicemail.

Hey, Sadie. It's Anna.

We met when you were defacing my office?

I just wanted to say that maybe that I could come

to that meeting tonight.

Who the fuck are you?

Anna.

Are you going to let her in?

Did anyone follow you here?

I don't think so.

Do you have any photographic devices on you?

My cell phone?

Shulie, she's harmless.

Let her in.

Hi.

So, the lovely lady at the door was Shulamith,

otherwise known as the head of the hospitality committee.

Forgive her. She's a recovering lawyer.

Meat, this is Anna.

Anna, this is Meat.

- Hi. - Hi.

Meat designs all our projects.

She's an amazing artist.

What are you making?

If it were any of your business, you'd know.

Shulie!

You want a drink?

Okay.

You cool with vodka?

Yeah, sure.

All right, wait here. I'll be right back.

- So where'd Sadie find you? - At my work.

What's it like working in an industry

that encourages women to view themselves as sex objects?

Some women just want to look good.

The death rate from liposuction victims is higher

than the death rate from automobile accidents.

I hope you sleep well at night.

Nobody's died since I've been there.

- But, I'm not a doctor. - That's no excuse.

Anna, this is Aggie.

He's the man of the house.

What's up?

- Hi. - How you doin'?

I thought you said this was a girl's group.

It is.

Aggie gets a free pass for being born with a clit.

Hey!

He's not in the fucking circus, so you can stop gawking.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...

It's cool. I'm used to it.

Aggie's a tough one.

Not everyone's got the balls to take it.

No pun intended, of course.

Sit down, Anna. Make yourself comfortable.

Sorry about the mess.

It's part of what we do.

What do you do?

I don't really think we should be

discussing this in front of her.

Relax, Shulie. Anna came here to learn.

Besides, we have insurance.

Look, Anna, what we do is really simple.

We reclaim public space for women.

Why, though?

Because it's important.

Most people don't realize how important it is.

You may or may not have noticed that the public arena

is entirely dominated by phallocentric imagery,

chauvinistic political leaders, male fantasies of women.

Most women aren't even aware how much it affects them.

And that's where we come in.

I'm sorry. I'm confused.

Exactly.

We're not trained to think the right way.

We're not trained to see what's all around us.

The only way to make you and people like you understand

is to affect change.

And the most effective way to affect change

is to step outside the system and tear it down.

Tear it down.

And that's why you spray paint plastic surgery clinics?

- Why do I even bother? - It's your calling.

It's not just spray painting surgery clinics, Anna.

We're a seed group.

The idea is to inspire women all over the country

to follow our lead.

Show her the website.

We also post the work of other groups that we admire.

The idea is to create a forum and teaching space where

women everywhere can learn how to fight the system.

And you guys aren't afraid of getting caught?

No.

She was my first girlfriend.

We met at Girlbar.

It was pretty fun. It was cool.

Why'd you guys break up?

She broke up with me.

Well... she's an idiot then.

It's so beautiful up here.

It's the best part about living downtown.

Yeah.

I didn't think you were gonna come.

I didn't think I was gonna come either.

I'm glad you did.

[moaning in distance]

What's that sound?

It sounds like somebody's dying.

That's Shulie and one of her guys -

one of her many guys.

I think I should go.

My mom's probably really worried about me and...

It's pretty late.

Here, check this out.

It's got a lot of information about us,

what we do and all that.

If you're interested.

Thanks. I am.

Should I call you?

Just read the 'zine.

Get out of here before you get yourself grounded.

Oh, God.

Another baby dyke come to save the world.

Twin Palms Plastic Surgery Clinic.

Enhance your body, enhance your life.

This is Anna. How may I help you?

Please hold.

Mrs. Smith's on line 3. She says she's leaking.

Hi, sweetie. How are you?

Yes. That is totally normal.

Excuse me...

Excuse me!

Can she speak English?

I've been waiting for 15 minutes.

Are you gonna sit there and let my lips deflate?

He's in a consultation.

It'll just be a few more minutes.

I'm sorry about that.

It's called sero-sanguinous fluid,

and it's completely expected.

Dr. Granger should have prepared you for that.

No. You should not be having to change

the gauze every hour.

Would you like me to go ahead

and leave a message for the doctor?

Did you see what some lunatic did to our building?

People are so crazy.

Why are you dressed like the damn Black Avenger?

You might as well wear a sign saying,

"Arrest me. I'm doing something illegal."

Come on, Shulie. I said she's in.

Okay?

Fine.

Aggie, you've got the stuff to pick the lock?

Yeah, I got it.

All right. Meat and I got the goods.

- You got the video camera? - Yeah.

- All right. - So what should I do?

You be on lookout.

What am I looking out for?

Anyone who's not us.

Right. Let's go.

Hold it, son.

What were you doing in the alley back there?

I was just taking a short cut.

Shit.

Sadie, guys. We gotta go... right now.

I'd like to give it up to Anna

on losing her cherry with the CIA.

Shall her clit no longer be without action.

You did a great job tonight... even with the outfit.

Are we gonna watch this or what?

Yeah, bring it on, bitch.

Let's go. It's time.

Let's get into action.

Action!

Shulie, I have a present for you.

Oh, yeah?

Wait 'til you see this. You at your best.

Oh, my God.

Showing some ass, Shulie?

You'll need something to dream about.

That is so going on the website.

- Is it? - Yeah.

Good. Do it.

Sadie, what's going on out here?

Hey, everyone.

Hi.

Listen, would you mind not smoking in the house?

Oh, Court. I'm so sorry.

I totally forgot.

Listen, I hate to break this up,

but I gotta be at work at eight in the morning.

Everyone was just about to leave.

We just got here.

Yeah?

All right.

I'll see you upstairs.

Night, everyone.

Night.

Sorry.

You guys'll show yourselves out?

I'm gonna make sure she's not mad.

We can watch it tomorrow.

Whatever.

Man, that girl is so whipped.

How long have they been going out for?

What? Sadie and Court?

They're like ancient history.

Surprise, surprise. Somebody didn't know that.

Don't pay any attention to them.

You need a ride?

Yeah. Sure.

Aw, I love this band.

Me and Sadie went to their show last month.

It was awesome. They're really good live.

So where did you and Sadie meet?

Uh, I met her at this club downtown.

That's when I was living in my car at the time.

And she hooked me up with Shulie to stay on their couch.

Why were you living in your car?

My parents kicked me out of the house when I told them

I wanted to be a dude.

Wow.

So you like never talk to your parents anymore?

Not right now, no.

I haven't talked to them in a while.

They don't even know where you are?

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

Do you like, like femmy girls

or like butchy girls?

Cuz I like femmy blondes.

I like femmier, usually, I guess.

Yeah, me too.

But I always pick the wrong ones, you know?

Either they like, treat me like shit,

or they have girlfriends.

That sucks, dude.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Anna? It's Sadie.

I just wanted you to know that I had fun with you tonight.

You saved our butts.

Thanks.

I hope you'll keep coming.

You do?

Yeah, I do.

You're cute, Anna...

But you have a lot to learn.

I'll teach you though. Don't worry.

We're doing some stuff this week if you wanna be a part of it?

Is Courtney gonna be there?

Courtney... She's...

You know...

What?

She does the 9 - 5 thing.

She's... she doesn't get it.

We don't really... connect so much lately.

Anyway, I hope to see you this week.

Bye.

Anna? Can I come in?

Anna, I know you're in there.

Haven't you ever heard of knocking?

I've been knocking for five minutes.

What happened to your room?

What the hell did you do to your walls?

I no longer feel the need to surround myself

with symbols of the misogynist tyranny.

Okay.

Anna, I'm a little worried about you.

Why's that?

For one thing, you're supposed to be in charge

of the hors d'oeuvres for the shower.

Mom said you haven't done anything.

The shower's this weekend.

Mom is better at that shit anyway.

That's not the point. I feel like you don't even care

that your only sister is getting married.

Marriage is a sexist institution

designed by men to oppress women.

Kevin and I are in love and we want to celebrate that

with the people who matter to us, including you.

I don't know why you have to be such a bitch!

You know what?!

Hey.

Is Sadie here?

No, she went somewhere with Courtney.

I think they're buying sheets.

Oh.

Did you paint this?

Yeah.

This is awesome.

I can't believe you painted all of this.

Thanks.

Now if I could just get someone to buy it then maybe I could

pay rent next month and Shulie wouldn't be on my ass.

How does Shulie pay the rent anyway?

By subletting the only bedroom to someone like me.

I have a real job. I pay real rent.

That allows you so-called political feminists

to camp out on the floor for free.

You are a black hole of negative energy.

Oh, God. More vagina imagery.

Well, they're really great.

I'm sure somebody will buy them.

Thanks, but that's what I thought two years ago

when I first made it.

Now it's collecting more dust than money.

That sucks.

Hey, I need you for a sec.

I don't know which picture to use for the site.

Which one do you think?

Mmm... use this one.

This is great.

Yeah. Thanks, Anna.

I'll run it by Sadie and see what she thinks.

She's very particular about what goes on the site.

I'm sure she'll like it.

We have very similar tastes.

Did Sadie ever tell you how we met?

Yeah, at Aftermath. She told me.

Did she tell you that we used to have a thing?

No.

Well, what happened?

After about a month she said

that she couldn't leave Courtney.

I was still into the CIA, so we remained friends.

Then about a few weeks later, she had a new girl.

Since then I think it's been about one a month.

Give or take.

I think I was Miss February.

Sadie and I are just friends.

Anna, I'm just trying to help you out.

She's unavailable, no matter what she tries to tell you.

Trust me, I know.

Somebody needs to pay her bills.

(male) So, are you busy this weekend?

Uh, I'm not sure. I'll call you.

Cool.

Hey, can I get my keys? I really need my car this week.

Yeah, I'll let you know.

Okay.

He's hot.

He's dumb as a stump.

Why is it that only the men who know how to tickle the clitoris

are incapable of stringing two sentences together?

I don't know, but I'm sure that the women of the world

appreciate your extensive research on the subject.

What are you laughing at?

At least he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Check this out.

"And if you visit the park before the authorities

take care of it, be sure to check out

the newest installation: a six-foot tall statue

of legendary feminist and Black Panther, Angela Davis.

Though no one knows who put the statue on display,

most are placing the blame on a feminist micro-group

who call themselves the GIA.

It probably won't be there long, so catch it while you can."

I can't believe that we're in the paper.

This is so cool. What else does it say?

That's it.

Just goes on to say the tacos at the stand

in the park are excellent.

Why do they say blame? Why not credit?

Credit should be given to the CIA.

And they got our name wrong. Let me see that.

I think its cool that we're even in the weekly, Shulie.

We need bigger media.

Fuck this local bullshit! We need to go statewide.

Yeah. Absolutely.

There's a big protest for gay marriage in Sacramento Friday.

It could be the perfect platform.

Road trip, anyone?

I'm in.

Whoa.

You sure you don't have to book any boob jobs

or something this weekend?

Hey. I'm keeping an eye on the enemy.

I am!

Got it. Anything else?

No, that's it. Thank you.

Oh, honey, I can't believe you opened this bottle.

How many times have I told you?

Just check with me before you open anything, okay?

- Sorry. - That's all right.

Everybody hungry? Dinner's ready?

C'mon, let's go eat.

I'm so glad I got to come home

and spend some time with some of Sadie's friends.

Sometimes I think she's hiding you guys from me on purpose.

Where do you work?

Oh, I run a non-profit organization.

Women for Change. WFC for short.

She's being modest. It's not just a non-profit.

It's the biggest non-profit in the country

advocating for women worldwide.

I think I've heard of that.

You were profiled on NPR.

And next month, the WFC will be on

the Marcy Maloney show.

Marcy Maloney wants to do a profile on you guys?

No, she's doing a show on the 125th anniversary

of the Washington Monument.

So, we're speaking out against the celebration.

Why are they celebrating the 125th Anniversary anyway?

I mean, what is next -

the 7th anniversary of the invasion of Iraq?

It's crucial that we voice our disapproval.

What's wrong with the Washington Monument?

Think about it.

Why do all of our important American symbols

have to look like enormous erections?

It's like, on vacation: "Come on Honey, get the kids.

We're going to go worship the giant white cock!"

It's ridiculous.

George Washington had syphilis and was impotent?

So is it a mere coincidence that the monument

resemble a giant erect penis?

Oh, God, you kids are way out of control.

Don't patronize us, Courtney.

I mean why aren't there any monuments to the female anatomy?

I don't know.

Why not a giant vagina?

I'd go visit that.

I bet you would.

Well, what about the Vietnam Memorial?

It was designed by a women and it's in the shape of a V.

The V stands for Vietnam, not vagina.

She won't even admit that she designed it on purpose.

She doesn't need to admit it.

It's there.

Good point, Anna.

- Cheers. - Cheers to you.

So do you go to school, Anna?

- What? - Do you go to school?

Uh, no, I'm just working right now,

but, uh, I was thinking about applying next year.

Do you know what you'd like to study?

No.

I think Anna should major in women's studies.

Oh, you better be careful there, Anna.

Sometimes I think that Sadie learned more about post-modern

feminist theory than she did about how to affect real change.

That is so not fair, Courtney.

Why do you have to belittle everything I do?

I support you.

You don't.

I do.

You don't.

- I do. - You don't.

More wine?

[club noise]

So why are you still with her then?

Let's see...

Inertia.

Confusion.

Self-loathing.

Her ass looks great in a suit.

Okay, seriously.

I admire her.

She was a guest lecturer my second year at Smith...

and she just blew me away.

We didn't always fight.

I mean, I keep thinking things'll get better...

then I go and leave a water stain on her vintage

coffee wood table and we're not talking for a week.

I don't know.

We got together right when my Mom died.

So...

It's hard to leave.

The way things are going with Courtney now,

I honestly don't think we'll make it to next week.

What are you guys doing?

Come on. Let's go dance.

I don't know how to dance.

Oh, come on.

Anyone can dance to this.

I'll just stand here by myself then.

[loud, aggressive music plays]

Let me see what you got.

All you have to do is slam into me as hard as you can.

Come on!

You're getting it!

Do it again, Anna.

You take her home.

Maybe she'll listen to you.

This isn't a dating service.

What are you talking about?

This isn't fun and games. This is real.

I mean, for Christ's sake, the state of Mississippi

just ratified the 19th Amendment in 1984.

The 19th Amendment was the one

that granted women the right to vote.

I knew that.

What Sadie does with her tongue is her business.

What happens with the CIA is mine.

This is a war, Anna. Women's lives are at stake.

I don't need you coming in here distracting the soldiers.

I don't want to distract...

Good. So don't.

Okay.

Do you know how I get my name?

Your parents?

Shulamith Firestone was a radical second-wave feminist

who wrote a little book called "The Dialectic of Sex,"

which is the foundation of all feminist theory of politics.

She said, "Power, whatever its origins,

however it is evolved, will not be given

up without a struggle."

Are you ready for the struggle?

Yes.

All right. Get out of here.

Hey, babe, can you be in charge for a minute?

I need to go to the little girl's room.

Whatever.

Hey, are you all right?

I thought you had to pee.

Delivery!

Just you today, honey?

I'm not your honey.

Suit yourself.

Yeah, uh, Anna?

Did you write that stuff in the bathroom?

Damn it! I ordered mustard.

What's wrong with that guy?

Did you write that stuff in the bathroom?

What stuff in the bathroom?

Oh, don't play dumb.

If Chris finds out about that you'll be fired.

What would Chris be doing in the women's bathroom anyway?

I'm leaving early. Could you cover for me?

I'm going to Sacramento.

Sacramento? Why in the world?

- You mean now? - Now.

Who's gonna watch the phones?

I have three consultations this afternoon!

Bye.

Oooh... Soldier.

Hey.

Where you headed?

You can just drop me off at the next diner.

Get in.

- Thanks for the ride. - Yeah, no worries.

- See ya', guys. - Bye.

Damn!

Uh, you do know Calvin's a girl, right?

And?

I'm gonna see if she wants to come to Sacramento with us.

This isn't a dating service, you know.

I'm sorry, Shulie.

Last time anyone checked, you liked men.

Who said I didn't?

Jesus, you dykes are such closed-minded bitches.

All right.

I guess they're gonna sleep out there or something.

I can't believe Shulie's with a girl.

Ta-da!

Whoa!

I love it!

You've come a long way, baby.

Do you wanna put some pink in your hair?

No pink for me.

Courtney would have a fit.

Who cares?

It's not worth the fight.

How long were you in Iraq?

Eighteen months...

until I was dishonorably discharged.

Why'd that happen?

I was going to this awards ceremony.

And I, um, brought a date.

I thought she was really pretty,

but I guess they didn't think so.

Don't ask, don't tell.

That's right.

Women make up 14% of the American military,

but account for 30% of the discharges under

"don't ask, don't tell."

- Fucking bastards. - Right?

They're just pissed off because we get

more pussy than they do.

It makes them look totally bad.

I bet you make a lot of people look bad.

Aren't you glad to be out of there?

I kind of miss it, actually.

What?

The war is a complete lie,

based on false intelligence, false pretext, false everything.

I don't care. I just like to blow shit up.

I'm a fucking adrenaline junkie.

What?

So, what...

What are you gonna do now that you

can't get your adrenaline fix?

I figure there's gotta be someone besides those

U. S government bastards that could use my expertise.

I got a medal for my work with explosives.

Really?

Yeah.

That is such a turn-on.

Why don't you just break it off for good?

You say that like it's so simple.

What am I supposed to do?

Move back in with my Dad?

I don't think so.

It doesn't matter where you live.

What matters is how you live.

Aren't we suddenly political.

I know.

I learned from the best.

You can't blame me.

Why are you so afraid?

I'm not afraid.

You are.

Thank you, ma'am. I'll have another.

Thank you, ma'am. I'll have another.

You gotta do it harder.

Now get down and give me 20.

Wake up. It's 5 AM.

We're going to Sacramento.

We gotta go check out of the motel.

Okay, okay. We're coming.

We're coming, we're coming.

[crowd yelling]

Hey, sorry we're late.

Where were you guys?

Meat, Aggie, this is Calvin.

It's a pleasure.

Well, guess who decided to become Ms. July after all.

Get over it, Meat.

Let's go to the stairs.

Look at that sign...

It's just not natural?

Where do they come up with this shit?

They said the same thing

about interracial marriage in the 1930s.

Well, yeah. Interracial marriage was illegal

until California lifted the ban in 1948.

It was the first state to do it.

Yeah, but it wasn't until Loving v. Virginia

that the Supreme Court ruled that prohibiting

interracial marriage is unconstitutional.

Sixteen states at the time...

Were forced to revise their laws.

Yeah.

- Nice work. - Thank you.

I'm glad we cleared that up.

- Are we ready? - Let's do this.

Hey, hey! Listen up!

Women and men of the gay and lesbian communities -

what are you doing?

Why are you fighting to be part of an institution that has

historically and categorically discriminated against women?

We cannot bring down the master's house

with the master's tools.

What are you really asking for here?

To join their sexist ranks?

Hell no!

Marriage is an archaic useless folk tradition.

End marriage!

Shut up! We're not anarchists!

We're lesbians! We want to get married!

Forget gay marriage. Forget straight marriage.

I say we abolish all marriage.

Look, even the lesbos know

that they shouldn't be getting married.

Excuse me?

I said, even dykes like you know better

than to form a union in the name of the Lord.

Actually, what I said was that I don't think anyone

should be forming a union in the name of anything.

It's a simplistic and limited point of view.

You're a sinner and an abomination against nature.

Jesus will punish you!

Listen, you fucking Jesus freak!

This country has separation of church and state.

Why don't you take your damn Bible and go home with it?

Because it has no business in our bedrooms.

Gay bedrooms breed AIDS -

God's cure for you perverts!

Take your God-fearing view and shove it up your ass!

End the sexist institution of marriage!

The LGBT community deserves better than marriage!

Just say no to marriage!

CIA! CIA!

Fuck you!

Fuck you, motherfuckers!

Say no to marriage!

We're Clits in Action.

While little is known about the CIA, they have already

been classified as violent and against gay rights.

Shulie, you got a little outta control there, huh?

You really need to learn to rein it in a little bit.

We are not against gay rights, we're against the binary system.

What the fuck is wrong with the media?

That's not the point, Shulie.

You're a representative of the CIA.

I mean, you're shoving this woman.

We're not about violence.

Maybe we should be.

- What?! - Can you listen to me?

You don't think we should be?

No! You can't go around just hitting somebody.

You wouldn't have stood up to that bitch?

I just got a phone call from Melinda who said she saw you

on the news in the middle of a brawl.

What the hell is going on?

It's not a big deal.

Do you know what this looks like?

What are you guys even talking about?

You're against gay marriage?

You're going to reform the entire system?

We don't even have equal rights. What are you doing?

Look, I'm sorry that your board of directors

is sitting around watching TV, Courtney.

I gotta go. I'm doing stuff.

Like what? Punch out a senator?

(Shulie) We're so soft. We gotta keep going!

I gotta go.

You would have done the same thing.

I know you would have.

It's bullshit, man.

This is all such fucking bullshit!

You're right.

Everything we do gets fucked up.

No one's getting our message.

She's right!

No, that is not true. We still have the website.

I wasn't gonna say anything before,

but since you bring it up...

Guys, I put a tracker on the website to monitor

who was visiting the site.

And as it turns out, the only people visiting the site

are the people in this room right now.

So nobody's visiting the site?

No one.

So everything we've done has been a complete waste?

Yeah.

And the Zona's display got taken down less than 24 hours later.

Yeah, and they took Angela out of the park.

I went by there yesterday.

Yeah?

I need you to come home right now.

We need to talk about this.

Fine. I'll be there in half an hour.

Why do you let her talk to you like that?

You should stand up for yourself.

Anna, you should stay out of it

because it has nothing to do with you.

Does it?!

Anna, get in here.

What the hell did you do to your hair?

I dyed it.

Are you trying to sabotage my wedding?

It is just hair. Do not be so dramatic.

You are the maid of honor.

Yeah. So?

So, you missed my bridal shower. It was today.

I'm sorry, okay?

I forgot.

I kept calling. You didn't answer.

I thought you were a smear across some freeway.

I really wish you had been there.

Well, I've been busy, okay?

Oh, too busy for me?

Well, you also missed the final dress fitting, so...

here, you're gonna have to wear this.

This?

- Yes. - You want me to wear this?

This is a symbol of everything that I fight against.

So you can take your ugly-ass bra.

Good night.

- Anna! - You're wearing the bra, Anna!

I am not going to wear that padded bra!

Hey, Anna, it's me.

Look, I'm sorry about before, I didn't mean to yell at you.

I'm gonna talk to Courtney tonight,

so we won't have to deal with any more of this drama.

Anyway, I had an amazing time with you.

We definitely need to go on more road trips.

I miss you already.

Bye, Anna.

Tell me again why we're here.

Sadie and her last minute bullshit.

I'm so over it.

Since we're saving money, then presence on the web,

can I see a show of hands...

[doorbell rings]

We'll put it toward advertising...

Sadie, what the fuck?

I thought we were meeting tonight.

If you could just wait out here for like 15 minutes.

- They're almost done. - What?!

I don't want to piss her off.

Jesus, Sadie.

You call us all the way over here and now you want us

to wait outside so that your mommy doesn't get mad at you?

Fuck this! I'm outta here.

All right...

I guess you can come inside and wait.

Oh, shit, thanks. That's generous of you.

Do you think you could give us a bone to gnaw on while we wait?

- Sadie, what about our meeting? - We'll get to it.

Hey...

So, did you talk to her?

I don't want to talk about this right now.

So you didn't talk to her?

Anna, it's not that simple.

It's a yes or no question, Sadie.

Relax. Just relax.

I know, but I just want to know.

Not here. Don't be an idiot.

Wow... I'm an idiot.

I'm a complete and total fucking idiot for thinking

that you would ever change.

Do you know why I joined the CIA?

Because you inspired me.

But now I see it's all bullshit!

You know, you make like you're this bad ass

because you have these radical politics.

But really... you're just a fucking coward!

A coward!

Let them hear that.

Aggie, can you please take me home right now?

I want to go home right now.

What about our meeting?

I think we should cancel our meeting.

Why would we cancel the meeting?

It's great for them because...

(Shulie) This is fucking bullshit.

Peter, could you take over please for a minute?

I'll be right back.

It's fucking bullshit!

Sadie, I don't know why your friends are here when I'm trying

to have a meeting or why they can't behave like adults,

but I still have ten pages of a budget

that I have to get approved.

So I'd appreciate it if they could please leave.

- They're leaving. - Sadie, don't bother!

I can't take the drama anymore.

Fuck the meeting. Fuck the CIA.

There's no wonder why it's a complete failure.

Everyone's too busy fucking each other and crying about it.

I quit.

Have a great meeting, Courtney.

- We can meet tomorrow. - Why bother?

I'm so tired of working my ass off for nothing.

I quit, too.

No, wait. You cannot quit.

Guys, what's gonna happen to the CIA?

It's not over. You cannot quit the CIA.

Yeah, watch us.

Sadie doesn't care about the CIA and she doesn't care about you.

All Sadie cares about is Sadie.

But Sadie said that we can have the meeting tomorrow.

It's pathetic how you're even defending her right now.

You think she's gonna leave her bungalow,

her fancy summer house in P-town for you?

So then what's gonna happen to the CIA then?

What do you care?

You never did anything except hang around

drooling all over Sadie, anyway.

That's not true.

The CIA's over, Anna.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

- You know what? - Yeah?

The CIA's over and I deserve to be drunk.

So, whatever.

- Morning. - Morning.

I have morning breath right now.

So, um...

You can use my tooth brush if you want.

I'm gonna go take a shower.

Enjoy your breakfast.

Hey, guys, it's me.

I want to tell you that I feel...

Oh, my God.

Sadie, it's not what it looks like.

No, you're right. It couldn't be.

Because what it looks like is that you just fucked Aggie!

- No, it doesn't. - Yeah, it does.

Okay, it does.

It didn't mean anything!

Oh, that's even better!

What does it matter? You have a girlfriend anyway!

I'm sorry, okay?

We were drunk and I was mad at you.

So, it's all my fault?!

No, it's not your fault.

It was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened

and it definitely won't happen again.

- Yeah. - I promise.

Look, I may have my problems, but I would never go behind your

back and fuck one of your best friends, Anna.

- Please, Sadie! - That's low!

I'm sorry!

I don't wanna see you again, ever!

Don't follow me!

Sadie!

Please!

Put some fucking clothes on!

(Mom) Anna, are you gonna sleep all day?

Come on, you're not doing yourself any good doing this.

Answer me, please.

Are you okay?

Our life sucks.

It doesn't suck.

Yeah, it does.

You're so negative.

You'd be negative, too,

if you thought your girlfriend was leaving you.

I'm not leaving you.

Sure you are.

You don't love me.

I do.

You don't.

I do, and you know that I do.

I'm not exciting to you anymore.

You think I don't know that?

It's hell to be utterly boring

to the person you're having sex with.

Not that we're doin' that.

Well, then what was last Sunday?

We didn't even look at each other.

It was mutual masturbation.

I think you're one of the most amazing people

that I've ever met, Courtney.

I love that you're everything that I'm not.

Oh, God, Sadie.

When are you gonna get some God-damn guts?

I'm trying.

Just tell me the truth, okay?

Have you been faithful to me?

Yes.

You're such a bitch.

I have.

I can't even trust you to break up with me, Sadie.

Just tell me the fucking truth, okay?

I have! I've never cheated on you.

Yeah, well say it again.

- I've never... - Never with Meat?

Never with Meat.

Never with that girl from Starbucks?

Never with that girl from Starbucks.

And never with Anna.

Never with Anna.

Never with Anna?

Okay.

[phone rings]

This is Twin Palms Plastic Surgery Clinic.

Enhance our bank account

and we'll enhance your chance of cancer and deformity.

This is Anna, how can I not help you?

Hi...

I'm here for my consultation.

Which procedure?

Um, breast augmentation.

I heard that it's really painful.

Is that true?

You know what's true?

Small tits are beautiful.

You're beautiful.

Oh... Thank you.

Um, I have an appointment?

Do you work here?

No... I do work here.

And I'm here to consult with you.

Your breasts are beautiful, and you do not need

to put silicone in your body.

You shouldn't have to conform to somebody else's idea

of what your body should look like.

How is society pressuring you to get a boob job

different from women in the Middle East who feel pressure

to wear a sheet over their head in public?

Or how is it different from women in China who were forced

to bind their feet and walk around half crippled

in order to feel sexually attractive?

Um... does anyone else work here?

Hi, sweetie. Are you my two o'clock?

Try loving your itty bitty titties.

No, no, no, no, no. Excuse me.

Did you just say something inappropriate?

Absolutely not.

Anna, what the hell?

I just came from the bathroom!

Are you f'ing insane?

I hired you because you're good with computers,

not because you're good at writing tampon poetry!

Fuck you! I quit.

Delivery.

And I ordered mustard, not mayo!

You get it wrong every single time!

You fucking asshole! Pig!

Save our oak or we will choke, is the motto of my next guests.

We're gonna talk to these lumber protectors and they're gonna

show us how you don't have to compromise your ideology

to get that beautiful sauna you've always dreamed of.

All this and more.

Only on Marcy Maloney.

What are you doing here?

You wanna fuck me now?

I deserve that.

Look, I know you guys are pissed at me.

And I am so sorry.

But we cannot let all of our bullshit

ruin everything that's important to us.

I don't think it was our bullshit at all.

I think it was your bullshit.

Yeah... it was my bullshit.

But I am... I'm so sorry.

Okay, you're sorry.

And?

I blew it.

And I know I can't change what already happened,

but it doesn't mean that we have to just abandon the CIA.

Our actions - they were too small before.

There was no real exposure and no real pay-off!

Can you please look at this?

- That's good. - That's really good.

Do you think Calvin will help us?

Absolutely.

Okay.

And what about Aggie?

That's up to you.

Yeah, I know.

Do you hate me?

No, I don't hate you.

Aggie, I'm sorry.

I treated you like shit.

That was fucked up what you did.

Yeah, that was fucked up.

And you're a really amazing person.

I'm sorry.

You're an amazing person, too.

It's cool.

Can I show you something?

Yeah, what do you got?

Holy shit, dude. This is insane.

How are you gonna do this?

I don't know.

I'll figure it out.

But that's why I need you to help me.

You gotta admit it's good.

It's good, dude.

Are you gonna do it?

Thank you very much for coming...

So you and Meat will get there first and break into the booth.

Then you go to position and then I'll find Meat inside.

Did you ship Shulie and Calvin the equipment?

What?

Anna, please shut up.

I'm sorry.

Do they have the blueprints?

Anna, we've been through this 100 times.

I know. I'm just really nervous.

Thanks to everyone. Cheers to you.

Cheers.

There you are.

Anna, I want you to meet Pam,

one of my dearest and oldest friends,

and her girlfriend, Jan.

Nice to meet you, Pam.

I'm Jan, actually. Nice to meet you.

- Pam. - Oh, sorry.

Technically, we've already met, but you probably wouldn't

remember because you were still in diapers at the time.

Did you go to school with my Mom?

Actually, your mother and I were interns together...

at Ms. Magazine.

You were an intern at Ms. Magazine?

You sound shocked.

Well, you never told me that. That's so cool.

I didn't know they had Ms. in the 60s.

Uh, we worked there in the 70s, darling.

The good years... Right, Katie Kates?

Well, actually, Pam sits on the Board at Sarah Lawrence.

You should talk to her.

Yeah, I was actually thinking about applying there next year.

How's the women's studies department?

We just hired two fantastic new professors.

You should come.

Hello, and welcome to this very special live broadcast

of the Marcy Maloney show.

Today our nation is celebrating the 125th anniversary

of the erection of the Washington Monument.

With us today are some very special guests

to discuss their perspectives on this holiday.

First, from the non-profit organization, Women for Change,

Courtney Cadmar. Welcome.

Thanks, Marcy. It's an honor to be here.

Nice dress.

I didn't have enough time to go home and change.

I'm sorry I'm late, okay?

Our guy never went to lunch, so he's still in there.

So we can't get in?

- Not how we planned to anyhow. - What about Aggie?

He's in position and no one on the crew knows.

That's something.

It doesn't matter if he's in position

or if he's in the God-damn Bahamas.

We need to get into that booth.

We're gonna figure it out.

Okay?

Can you talk a little bit about why Women for Change

is so upset about this celebration.

It's a classic form of distraction.

We have nothing else to celebrate in this country.

Our leaders would rather focus our attention

on a meaningless symbol rather than engage the country

in the true issues at hand.

Well, what about patriotism? Are you against patriotism?

[knock on door]

Hi, um, I was wondering if you could help me?

I'm supposed to be on the Terrence Davis show,

but I can't seem to find the stage.

Yeah, sure.

Right down this hallway, through the door, to the right.

Can you show me? I'm really late.

Uh... sure.

Just walk right down the hallway here,

all the way around this corner.

I make a right first?

Yeah, right there, and a right turn.

- Thank you. - Good luck.

Hello?!

Did you patch in?

We are live and on the air.

Here.

You are now in charge of the Marcy Maloney show.

Use the power wisely.

- Hey, Anna? - Yeah?

I'm really sorry about all that stuff I said the other night.

I don't really think you're pathetic.

Actually, you're a pretty cool chick.

What's with the sudden apology?

I wanted you to know in case anything happens.

Nothing is going to happen, okay?

Let's get in touch with Aggie.

Camera 3, do you copy?

Go for camera 3.

CIA's in the house. Get ready for phase 1.

Preparing for phase 1.

Wait for my instructions.

I'm getting in touch with the DC unit right now.

Senator.

All right. We're patching you in.

Got it.

And you're up!

Hi, guys! Can you hear me?

Yeah. What's the weather like in DC?

It's pretty humid.

All right we got you. Is everything else good?

Let's rock this bitch!

Okay, just put the camera on it, wait 'til I call for phase 2.

Copy that.

Oh, my God.

Now tell us about this monument.

Well, we're honoring the man who created this great country

and the building that has come to be the symbol of freedom,

standing forever rigid in the face of its enemies.

That's not the kind of symbol the American people need.

They need healthcare. They need reproductive freedom.

They need public schools.

People need something to bring them together.

Do we have coverage of DC, Marcy?

Let's take a look at the festivities, shall we?

Cut to Shulie's feed.

What the hell's going on?

Ooohhhh, Jesus!

Is this for real?

Why is there a fucking dick on the screen?

I need to know what's going on here.

We're having issues. Just read this.

Folks, this is real.

This is happening, right now, this exact image

has been placed onto the Washington Monument

in our nation's capitol today at 7: 16 p.m.

I'm not sure who or what is behind it...

Get the fucking dick off the screen.

Perhaps this guest of yours is behind it.

All right, camera 3,

get a two-shot of Courtney and the Senator.

Copy that.

Frankly, I resent the implication that you think

that my group would be part of something like this.

We need to lose the dick.

This is my job here! God damn it!

Let's get ready for phase 3. I'm texting Shulie.

Go to a commercial.

I can't get anybody in the booth!

All the communication is out!

All right, Calvin...

let's see what you're made of.

[yelling, screaming]

Oh, my God!

Commence exit strategy.

Aggie, we're ready.

Put this shit on a loop.

We have to get out of here right now.

Oh, man!

We've got a bomb threat called in!

Everyone should calmly proceed to the exits!

Hurry the fuck up, people!

What the hell's going on?

Anna, we've got to separate.

The car's on the corner of Alderside and Grant.

Why is it there?

Go and get in the damn car! It's waiting for you!

Hi.

Hi.

I saw the whole thing. You totally pulled it off.

You did an amazing job.

I learned from the best.

Courtney freaked out.

You saw her face?

You know it wasn't meant to be an attack on her, right?

I'm sorry that I ever messed up your relationship

and I want you guys to be really happy together.

And I'm sorry about Aggie.

Anna... We broke up.

You did, huh?

Uh-huh.

You know?

I don't think that we should date.

Yeah.

I know.

I have a lot to learn.

Don't worry. I'll teach you.

I mean, I won't date you,

but I'll teach you.

Sure.

Just as friends.

Just as friends.

Friends with benefits?

Aw, fuck it.

We should go.

There happens to be a national crisis in progress right now.

- They're coming. - Let's go.