All language subtitles for fbi.s01e06.1080p.web.x264-tbs

Yeah, 11, Charlie, uh, 51,
uh, coming in Reno.

We're, uh, chasing suspect.
Firing at vehicle.

Jones returning fire
and missing!

Whoa-ho-ho! Whoa-ho!
Damn it!

Hey, here,
you want my clip?

Hold the wheel.
Hold the wheel.

Whoo!

Whoa, there you are!

Whoa! Look out!

Oh-ho! Ohh-h-h!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Hey, dog. Yeah.

Ho, ho! Ho!

Oh, wow.
There he is, huh?

Okay, gang, I just got off the
phone with Carson city,

and it's true the FBI
is coming in

to take a look at
the investigation.

So please promise me the most
important thing...

Let's not act like dicks
in front of the FBI, okay?

We're gonna be law-enforcement
professionals.

Gimme a "yes, sir."
Come on.

Yes, sir.
Yes, siryes, siryes, sir.

Thank you. Thank you.

It kind of looks like
he's got a boner.

Let's look and see.

No, no, no, no, no!

Don't touch anything
until the FBI's here.

Speak of the devil.
Let's get into ranks.

Form into ranks.
Form into ranks.

What do you mean?
Like, a line?

Well, like ranks.
No, no, I don't mean...

I just mean...
Like a professional.

Don't do a conga line.
Do like a...

Just stand in a...
That looks stupid.

We look stupid.
Okay, here we go.

All right, good work, team.
Good evening.

No need to salute.

I'm agent Cowan.
This is agent Richards.

Hi, I'm lieutenant Dangle
and this is...

Should I go through...?
No need.

Um... So...

There's the guy, I guess.

That's why we're here.

Yeah. Duh.

So, what we're gonna need
you guys to do

is get on the other side of that
tape and secure the perimeter.

Go stand on the other side
of the tape?

Okay, I got it.
I'm sorry.

Yeah, so we'll just go over
there and do, uh...

Thank you for leaping
over the evidence.

I want to get
some pictures here.

I want to lift some prints.

I want you to check the treads
on the sneaks.

I want to hear about it
right away.

The thing is, I just don't see
what's so great about the FBI.

I know everybody here gets a,
you know...

A boner every time
they come by.

Um, what's so great
about it?

They wear suits and handle
the fluids of dead people, okay.

Um, that is not sexy to me.

Uh, I like being in the streets
with the common people.

I like driving the car.

And I'm not going through
that background check.

Forget about it.

Well, uh...

Perimeter's, uh...

Thank you.
We appreciate that.

Secure, I guess.

We've a very important job
for you guys.

We're gonna need two large
latte's, one 2%, one nonfat.

We're gonna need a small,
easy mocha-mocha,

very little whip.

We're gonna need three
café au laits...

One with vanilla, one with
cinnamon, one with chocolate.

Two ice coffees...

One dark, one with heavy sugar,
light cream.

Wait, that's, like,
20 coffees.

Oh, no, that's the kind
that goes in the...

Exactly.
I got it. I got it.

Wonderful.
Thank you very much.

Good work.
Right, uh...

Is that more coffee than...
No, no, no.

She said it weird because it is
the right amount of coffees,

but she said what's in them
in a weird order.

Did you remember
what they were?

I wasn't even
paying attention.

Nobody even makes
that around here.

Obviously, it was blah,
blah, blah to me.

Having the FBI in town

is a little bit like being
chaperoned, you know?

And I don't feel like we need
a chaperone.

I feel like we're perfectly
capable at enforcing the law.

We have a mission today.

We have this kind of junky,
old microwave.

It does not work very well,

and it smells like
spaghetti sauce.

We've had it for about
five years.

It cooks things
about halfway through.

And the county will not give us
a new microwave

until this one
is officially broken.

So, without further ado.

Honey,
this is the last time

you will ever burn a bag
of my popcorn.

Okay,
let's break the microwave.

This magic pop is gonna get
this thing to break.

You're never supposed to put
metal in a microwave,

so this should do it.
Let's see.

Get away, get away,
get away, get away!

No, it burned a little bit.

Throw in some marshmallows.

Pretty good.

And if it doesn't work, at least
it'll be kind of yummy.

I got a grenade.

You have a grenade?

That'll do it.

Absolutely.

It's worth a shot, right?

Contact.

Fire in the hole!

Oh-ho!

Whoo!

Wow!

Microwave! Yes!

A new microwave
is on the way!

Is that tear gas?

You put tear gas in there?

Halt! Freeze!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Where you going, sir?

Oh, I'm glad you all showed up.
Thank goodness, man.

Uh, somebody came in here.

I think something awful
happened in here.

Somebody robbed this place.

What are you doing
with money, sir?

Why do you have money
in your pocket?

W-what's that?
It's money, sir.

This... this... this money...
This my money right here.

You got anything else
we should know about?

Me?
Yeah, what do you got?

Yeah, I have a gun.
Yeah, you do.

Why do you have a weapon, sir?
Is that yours?

No, that's... that's not my gun.
That's not mine.

That's not your gun?

No, I got it. I had it.

I'm gonna be honest
with you all.

I had it,
but that's not my gun.

No, I-I-I didn't rob
this at all.

The ones that did it,
they... they was like,

"aw, hey, you want to rob
this store with me?"

I was like, "no, man.
I can't do that."

The police, they don't like
that kind of stuff."

They was like,
"the police."

They said,
"the police"?

They said,
"officer Garcia."

They said,
"officer"...?

Were they colored?
They was black.

It was five of them...
Five black dudes.

You probably could still catch
them over there.

There they go,
and they're stupid.

Good thing you all showed up.
I'm... I'm gonna go home.

No, you're not.
You ain't going home.

You know I got to bring you in,
right?

I don't know that.

If I were in the FBI,
I'd be in a lot of situations

where the chief or whoever
is like,

"you rolled the dice,
and you lost this time, Jim.

You're off the case."
And then, uh...

In some kind of way,

you would just figure out
and solve the crime.

Yeah, later when I'm doing
sit-ups or something,

I'd think, "Wait a second.
Why wasn't the..."

Why wasn't the gun in the other
hand or something?"

No, I feel like
I'm FBI ma...

At least, maybe I'm
FBI movie material.

As far as joining the FBI
is concerned,

let's put it this way,

I failed a test to be
a member of a book club.

Thanks for coming
so quickly.

Not a problem, sir.
What's going on?

I just was assaulted just now
by two youths,

and, um, they knocked me
over my chair,

and they stole my snow cone

that I wasn't even
finished with.

What kind of snow cone
are we talking about?

It was the rainbow one with the
fourth of July colors.

They're only seasonal, too,
this time of year.

Yeah, you can't get them
all year.

Finally you get one,
and this happens.

You must've only eaten
the top

because I see your lips
are not blue.

Right. I didn't get to the blue
or the white.

What is your name,
first of all?

My name is Craig.
Hi, Craig. I'm Trudy.

Trudy, nice to meet you.
Craig's my favorite boy name.

Really? That's nice.

No one's ever said that
to me before.

You have a kitty cat there.
Do you have cats?

I love cats.
I have a houseful.

Do you love cats?
I've got seven cats.

You have seven cats?!

Yeah, they're all the hairless
kind, though,

because I'm allergic to most
kind of dander.

Those are my favorite kind,
but I can't afford them.

Well, I put most of my money
in that.

I smell a snow-cone date
coming.

That's what I smell.

I just got out of
a relationship.

Do you date people that you
have to come in contact with?

Is that something you do?

You know, Trudy is off on
Thursday and Friday nights.

Oh, really?

Fyi, I don't know what
your schedule is.

And she just got a VCR,
so...

I did, actually.
I got a combo.

I got a 15-inch combo
VCR/TV.

I just got the "saved by the
bell" tapes, the whole series,

and I don't have a VCR
to watch it.

Do you want to finish taking
this down,

and then you can just slip him
your number?

Oh, I don't have to give him
my number.

He can call 911.

I'll give you a call then.

Call 911, and when they say,
"what's your emergency?"

Say, "is Trudy there?"

Okay, and they'll patch me
through.

And if I'm out on a call,
have them get me.

'Cause I can always be
called off a call.

Nothing really happens
in this town

that I need to be there for.

I will give you $50,
Dangle, per second

that you could stick your head
under this blanket.

Per second?

Uh, per minute.
$50 a minute.

How about $1 a second?

I'll stick my head
under there.

You think I won't stick my head
under there?

Go ahead.
Jones, you with me?

I'm not going under here,
though.

I'll stick my head
by the side.

I'll get it.

All the way in, too.
All the way in.

All the way.
Don't breathe.

1... 2... 3... 4... 5...

Eww!

Look at that.

Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Garcia, I'll bet you
a month of my salary

that you can't get in there
for about a half-hour.

A month's salary.
Easy money!

A month's salary.
You all heard it.

Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!

Don't do it. Don't do it.
Don't do it. Don't do it.

Garcia?

Don't you call me crying in
the middle of the night...

Go get 'em!

Idiots.

What are you officers
doing in here?

Shut up, shut up.

Is there someone
in that freezer?

We were, uh...

Open that freezer door
right now!

I have a goddamn radio on!

Do you know how dangerous
this is?!

That's for dead people,
not living idiots.

Let's move it out.

Why don't we secure the
perimeter, I guess, or the hall?

Has this body been touched?

When a body comes down
to the morgue,

it's completely covered by
a sheet except for its feet.

I know. Isn't that weird?
It's weird. It's weird.

It looks like you people have
been playing with this body.

No, no, no, no, no.

I was in there.

Out! Come on.

You know, let's just move it
out, please.

Thank you, lieutenant.

I can't deal with this kind
of incompetence.

You guys want some coffee
or something?

No, we're fine. Thank you.

Sandwiches or something?

We could use a closed door
and some quiet.

Thank you.

Check.
Check.

You know, I thought about
joining the FBI

for about 20 minutes

after I saw, uh, that movie
with Jodie foster

and the guy who was eating
people in his basement.

But I was really, really stoned.

And honestly, I also thought
for about 20 minutes

about making a dress
out of people.

Hello, there.

How you doing?

Good.

Right on time, too.

You got the money?

Yeah, I got a...
I got a...

How much?

$400, burning a hole
in my pocket.

All right.
Are you ready?

What do I get for the...
For the $400 there?

A lot.
Oh, yeah?

Um, why don't you get ready?
Take off your glasses.

Wow, you're very handsome.

Thank you very much.
My mom always said so, I guess.

Now, what do we do?

Just close your eyes.

Phew! All right.

Had a fantasy about being
a FBI when I was a little boy.

I thought that'd be real cool
to solve crimes,

go to write chalk outlines
on the ground

and stick needles into people
and poke them with things.

But as I got older, I felt,
"you know what?

"I want to work with people
on the streets.

I want to be in touch with my
gente."

That's "my people" in Spanish.

Uh, I don't want to be far above
in a lab coat or a windbreaker

or a special hat.

Good afternoon, class.
My name is officer Garcia.

This is my partner,
officer Jones.

We're here from the Reno County
sheriff's department

and the community outreach
program

to talk to you about a subject
today

that most folks aren't
comfortable with.

Now, as citizens
of this great community,

we'd all like to believe that
kids don't carry guns to school.

We'd all like to wish that that
weren't true.

But we know, and you know,

that kids do have guns at
school, okay?

You guys have a whole lot
of them.

As officers of the law,
we want to let you know

there's not a damn thing
we can do about it.

We really can't do anything

about you guys having guns
in school.

But what we can do
is show you

how to fire these weapons
safely and correctly, okay?

Let's say you have one of these
in your hand, okay?

Which you should never have.

Okay, what we want
to teach you today

is one word
that's gonna help you out

should you find yourself
in a situation,

and you can't talk
something out,

and you need
one of these firearms.

And that one word is safe.
S-a-f-e.

Steady, okay?

Aim, fire, boom,
everybody's okay.

If we can teach you to fire
that firearm correctly,

you can take your man down,
right? Boom!

And we don't have
the scatter effect.

There's not
the watermelon seeds.

It's not a big picnic
of people on the ground.

Some of you ladies,
you're pretty,

and I'm sure you're gonna get
dates to the prom.

You might find a little bit
more security

if you had one of these
little numbers.

Okay, that's a 9mm,
all right?

It's nice, light, fits in your
dress, your purse.

Some of you men that are on
the wrestling team

might want to skip over
the lady-type guns

and go right to your .357
or your .44.

I think the FBI guys here seem
like they're all over it.

They seem like
a really good team.

They speak...
in paragraph form.

Yeah.

Like, you never hear "uh"
coming out of their mouth.

Or "what" or "he was, like."

They never say, "the bad guy
was, like, coming in the door."

We say that all the time.

It's like they go
to some kind of damn...

Vocabulary school
or like gram...

Grammar, grammar.

Talk.

Talk.

It's very impressive.

- Hi, mom.
- How are you?

Dad, I know.

I really don't have anything new
to report

except, oh, only the greatest
thing ever.

I... Met a boy...

And his name is Craig
with a "C."

I mean, I know you've told me
before, um, you know,

chances are if a guy shows
interest in me,

it's probably some ploy to get
something from me

or there's a good chance I could
get molested or raped or...

You know, end up pregnant
or dead, you know.

Basically, what I'm asking is
for your permission...

To have our wedding here
on your plot.

And I asked Marcus, who runs the
place, about having you dug up,

and it would cost a
fortune,

and I don't think I can afford
it right now

on the salary that they're
giving me.

And also, it might be kind of
creepy.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

I just talked to the lady,
and they want one of us

to introduce them
for the press conference.

All right!
Dangle, Dangle, Dangle?

I want to say...

I'm the most presentational
here.

I got
the show-business career.

You don't want to look
like you're racist.

Pick somebody black so you can
show the color on the force.

It's gonna be...

Who remembers their names,
first off?

Officer James Garcia.

No, the names of the guys.

Special agent Starling
is one of them.

You're thinking of
"Silence of the lambs."

Oh.

Uh... Oh!

Good afternoon.
Sorry, good afternoon.

My name is
lieutenant Jim Dangle

of the Reno sheriff's
department.

And from here,

I would like to turn things over
to special agents...

Uh, Cowan and Richards.

So let's give a big,
Reno, Nevada, welcome

for the FBI serial-killing
investigation team.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Good afternoon.

I'm special agent Cowan from the
federal bureau of investigation,

and I would like to let you know
that last night at 11:53 P.M.,

we arrested the serial killer
known as "the junkyard dog"

just outside of Reno, Nevada.

Whoo!

As of yet, we have no further
information

that we are able to release.

We can tell you
that nine victims

have been attributed
to the junkyard dog

with two pending investigations
in Las Vegas.

I will be bringing back to you
more information

as it becomes available.

Thank you very much.

Whoo!
Whoo!

Yeah!

All right,
way to go FBI, huh?

Wow, everybody's leaving.

Oh, yeah.

Aw, man!

All right.

Do you have
anymore questions?

They don't have anymore
questions.

They wanted somebody to go get
them some coffee.

Yeah, they're making
their toast.

We should do that.

Well, hey, folks,
to securing the perimeter.

And buying the coffee.

And buying the coffee.

All kinds of... other stuff.

We did a good job.

Hey, we should send them
something, right?

That's classy.
That's a good idea.

Like a...
Like a muffin basket.

Some shots.
No, some drinks.

Shots or something...
That would be good.

Jello shots?
Are always good.

"To the FBI"...

Special agent Cowan
and Richards.

Cowan, Richards,
and the rest.

And et al. Et al.

And crew? And crew?

Oh, hey...

Hi.
Hi. Hi. Hi.

Good evening.

Congratulations to all of you.

I wanted to thank you for your
superlative work.

Your assistance was invaluable.

And to thank you, we've gotten
you this bottle of champagne.

So enjoy and have
a wonderful night.

Thank you.

That was so classy.

Bye, you guys.

Take care.

See you next time
somebody gets murdered.

Yeah!

Drive good!

Did you see that?
That was classy!

I didn't even know
they had champagne.

We are such douche bags.

Is it cold?

Uh, ich bin ein berliner.

Hitler! Hitler! Hitler!

It's Kennedy.
That's not Hitler.

Uh, ask not what you're doing in
your country, uh, but, uh...

Yeah, yeah.
Also Kennedy.

I got something.
I got something.

She's throwing up.

Are you gonna throw up?

I was gonna burp.

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