Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:03,040
male announcer: "Will & Grace"
2
00:00:01,510 --> 00:00:03,041
is recorded in front of
3
00:00:03,042 --> 00:00:04,569
a live studio audience.
4
00:00:04,570 --> 00:00:05,539
You got to help me.
5
00:00:05,540 --> 00:00:07,039
My dad's on the way up,
and he wants me
6
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:08,069
to drive to Schenectady
with him.
7
00:00:08,070 --> 00:00:09,139
Aww, that's nice.
8
00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:10,139
You know that's not nice.
9
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,869
Don't be that guy.
10
00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:13,439
Oh, that's awful.
11
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,139
Awful? He's my father.
12
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:17,869
Why don't you text me
what you want me to say,
13
00:00:17,870 --> 00:00:19,110
and I'll read it back?
14
00:00:23,870 --> 00:00:26,109
Wow, if I could
do that to myself,
15
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:28,040
I could delete
my Grindr account.
16
00:00:31,810 --> 00:00:33,069
Okay, okay.
17
00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:34,669
Here is where you
redeem yourself.
18
00:00:34,670 --> 00:00:38,169
Let's do that thing where
we pretend to have a thing.
19
00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:39,609
Hi, Daddy.
Hi, darling.
20
00:00:39,610 --> 00:00:40,839
You ready to go?
21
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,109
Hey, Martin.
How's my mom?
22
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,569
I mean, your wife?
23
00:00:43,570 --> 00:00:45,409
I mean, my mom.
I mean, your wife.
24
00:00:46,510 --> 00:00:47,939
I'll get used to that.
25
00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:49,410
No, I won't.
26
00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:52,469
Dad, uh, about Schenectady,
27
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,609
I would love to go,
but I forgot we--
28
00:00:54,610 --> 00:00:56,409
we have a thing.
29
00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:58,409
Will? Thing?
30
00:00:58,410 --> 00:01:00,410
Actually,
the thing got cancelled.
31
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,839
No, it didn't.
It's still a thing.
32
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,269
Damn that thing!
33
00:01:06,270 --> 00:01:07,869
No, no. No longer a thing.
34
00:01:07,870 --> 00:01:08,869
But the thing
is too big a thing
35
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:10,269
to no longer be a thing.
36
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:11,369
I don't know
what you two are doing,
37
00:01:11,370 --> 00:01:12,869
but I got to get some floss.
38
00:01:12,870 --> 00:01:14,109
I got something stuck
in my tooth.
39
00:01:14,110 --> 00:01:15,609
I had an everything bagel.
40
00:01:15,610 --> 00:01:17,010
It could be anything.
41
00:01:18,110 --> 00:01:19,309
What the hell was that?
42
00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:21,539
A long drive with your father--
43
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:22,939
Grace, that's a gift.
44
00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:25,109
I--I'd give anything to have
that kind of time
45
00:01:25,110 --> 00:01:26,269
to talk to my dad again.
46
00:01:26,270 --> 00:01:27,669
It is different with girls.
47
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,309
Your relationship
with your dad changes
48
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:30,769
the second you get boobs.
49
00:01:30,770 --> 00:01:32,610
So there's still time for you.
50
00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:41,739
Come on. You know my dad.
51
00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:43,069
We don't talk.
52
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,569
The minute anything gets real,
53
00:01:44,570 --> 00:01:46,069
he gets uncomfortable.
54
00:01:46,070 --> 00:01:47,969
I mean, my whole life,
I've never seen him cry.
55
00:01:47,970 --> 00:01:49,339
So push through the discomfort.
56
00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:51,069
Talk about stuff that matters.
57
00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:53,039
Ask him,
"Are you afraid of death?
58
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,569
"Do you have any regrets?
59
00:01:54,570 --> 00:01:57,409
Have you ever had
a gay experience?"
60
00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:58,209
My dad.
61
00:01:58,210 --> 00:01:59,639
Would you ask your mom
62
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,009
if she's ever had
a lesbian experience?
63
00:02:01,010 --> 00:02:02,839
Sure, if I wanted her
64
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,970
to leave the room
quickly in tears.
65
00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:07,869
Surprise!
66
00:02:07,870 --> 00:02:10,010
It was a sesame seed.
67
00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:12,669
Come on, we'll
stop by the cemetery,
68
00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:14,609
visit your mother,
and while we're there,
69
00:02:14,610 --> 00:02:16,169
we'll say hi to Harry.
70
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,339
I'll visit Mom's grave,
not Harry's.
71
00:02:18,340 --> 00:02:20,509
Ugh, this Harry thing again.
Oof.
72
00:02:20,510 --> 00:02:22,509
Look at you two,
having fun already.
73
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:25,839
I have a three-hour car drive
to think of my revenge.
74
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,009
Wait, wait, wait.
75
00:02:27,010 --> 00:02:28,669
I got it.
Come with us.
76
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,109
Please, please, please.
No, no. I can't.
77
00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:31,939
I got--I got Jack's
engagement brunch.
78
00:02:31,940 --> 00:02:33,169
That's today?
79
00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:35,110
So I actually had a thing?
80
00:02:42,140 --> 00:02:43,369
Ooh, I--I would have to
81
00:02:43,370 --> 00:02:45,539
remove two ribs to do that.
82
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:55,710
♪ ♪
83
00:02:57,910 --> 00:03:00,039
If you'd told me 20 years ago
84
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,139
I'd be celebrating
my engagement,
85
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,439
I would've had
so many questions.
86
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,039
Are gays allowed
to get married?
87
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,809
Can they be in the military?
88
00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:10,069
Mm-hmm.
89
00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:11,069
And why would we want
90
00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:13,069
either of those things?
91
00:03:13,070 --> 00:03:16,069
Ladies, are we enjoying?
92
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:19,109
Everything's marvelous,
Ms. Coco, but FYI,
93
00:03:19,110 --> 00:03:21,509
you shouldn't put celery
in your Bloody Marys.
94
00:03:21,510 --> 00:03:24,540
Too many vegetables--
hard on the liver.
95
00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:27,339
Karen's kind of a health nut.
96
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,239
Oh.
Yeah.
97
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,669
Anything I can do for you?
98
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,139
I mean, get for you...
99
00:03:33,140 --> 00:03:35,909
I mean, eat off you.
100
00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:37,909
Coco, I'll say
what I said to you
101
00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:39,339
ten minutes ago at the urinal:
102
00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:42,170
I'm fine, and my eyes
are up here.
103
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,669
So who gets it?
104
00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:46,139
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
105
00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:48,869
Oh, Wilma, no.
106
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:50,109
I'm paying.
107
00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:53,169
My best friend
is getting married.
108
00:03:53,170 --> 00:03:55,539
My best friend
is getting married.
109
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:57,469
Your best friend is in the
basement of the White House,
110
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,039
trying to tunnel her way out
111
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,210
with the heel
of her Jimmy Choo.
112
00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:07,269
Children, make a decision.
113
00:04:07,270 --> 00:04:08,669
I've got six more tables,
114
00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:12,209
and I'm getting less tucked
by the minute.
115
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,109
I think I can settle this.
116
00:04:14,110 --> 00:04:15,869
The best man should pay.
117
00:04:15,870 --> 00:04:18,069
both: And that's me.
118
00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:20,669
Ooh, conflict.
119
00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:21,969
We hate that here.
120
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:29,069
♪ ♪
121
00:04:29,070 --> 00:04:32,239
So, um, Daddy...
122
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,639
I thought maybe we could talk.
123
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,069
What do you think we've been
doing for the last two hours?
124
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,039
No, I mean-- I mean talk about
125
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,309
real stuff, you know?
126
00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:45,169
Like, do you have any regrets?
127
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,909
Are you afraid of death?
128
00:04:46,910 --> 00:04:48,810
Yes. No.
129
00:04:52,140 --> 00:04:53,739
Okay, that covers it.
130
00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:55,610
Uh...
131
00:04:56,770 --> 00:04:58,169
What the hell.
132
00:04:58,171 --> 00:05:00,341
Have you ever had a gay
experience?
133
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:03,039
For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
134
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,140
Does breakfast with Will count?
135
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,660
Jack asked me
136
00:05:09,662 --> 00:05:11,261
to be his best man.
137
00:05:11,262 --> 00:05:12,131
Wrong, Mary.
138
00:05:12,132 --> 00:05:14,761
Jack asked me
to be his best man.
139
00:05:14,762 --> 00:05:15,761
Okay, okay, okay.
140
00:05:15,762 --> 00:05:17,931
I asked you both.
141
00:05:17,932 --> 00:05:20,631
I just didn't want to hurt
anyone's feelings.
142
00:05:20,632 --> 00:05:23,061
I didn't want Will
to think I preferred you...
143
00:05:23,062 --> 00:05:24,891
I do.
144
00:05:26,832 --> 00:05:27,991
Over him.
145
00:05:27,992 --> 00:05:29,931
I don't.
146
00:05:29,932 --> 00:05:31,961
This is crazy!
It should be me.
147
00:05:31,962 --> 00:05:33,831
I've known Jack since he was 20
148
00:05:33,832 --> 00:05:36,891
and for 20 years of his 30s.
149
00:05:36,892 --> 00:05:40,661
Did you go on the Dark Web
to buy him a real severed hand
150
00:05:40,662 --> 00:05:43,462
for his Morticia Addams
costume?
151
00:05:44,492 --> 00:05:45,261
Wait.
152
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:48,731
That was a real severed hand?
153
00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:50,631
Of course not.
154
00:05:54,432 --> 00:05:55,931
What do I do?
What do I do?
155
00:05:55,932 --> 00:05:59,531
All right,
let's not break a press-on.
156
00:05:59,532 --> 00:06:04,431
When we have a dispute here,
we settle it like men:
157
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:07,492
with a lip-sync
monologue throw down!
158
00:06:11,462 --> 00:06:14,491
What you do is,
you spin this wheel
159
00:06:14,492 --> 00:06:16,031
and then lip-sync whichever
160
00:06:16,032 --> 00:06:17,991
legendary monologue
it lands on.
161
00:06:17,992 --> 00:06:21,561
Then the audience decides,
with applause, who wins.
162
00:06:21,562 --> 00:06:25,531
So we're going to determine
something as important
163
00:06:25,532 --> 00:06:29,516
as your best man by lip-syncing
campy monologues
164
00:06:29,518 --> 00:06:31,817
in a room full
of drunken gay men?
165
00:06:31,818 --> 00:06:33,478
Yeah.
166
00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:37,547
Yay!
Makes sense.
167
00:06:37,548 --> 00:06:41,617
Girls, we've got ourselves
a bitch royale.
168
00:06:44,478 --> 00:06:45,477
What can I tell you?
169
00:06:45,478 --> 00:06:47,377
I love laminated menus.
170
00:06:47,378 --> 00:06:49,477
You know, the story
of the restaurant in the back--
171
00:06:49,478 --> 00:06:50,717
interesting reading.
172
00:06:50,718 --> 00:06:51,817
I'll wait for the movie.
173
00:06:51,818 --> 00:06:53,617
Always with the smart answers,
174
00:06:53,618 --> 00:06:54,747
like your mother.
175
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,047
Hi! Hey, Patty.
176
00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:58,577
It's my favorite waitress.
177
00:06:58,578 --> 00:06:59,817
Hi, Mr. Adler.
178
00:06:59,818 --> 00:07:03,117
Is this the new Mrs. Adler?
179
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,477
No, I'm his daughter, Grace.
180
00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:08,447
Clearly the age
of a daughter, not a wife.
181
00:07:08,448 --> 00:07:09,918
Okay.
182
00:07:11,178 --> 00:07:13,577
How is it you get prettier
every year, eh?
183
00:07:13,578 --> 00:07:18,617
Well, I'm pretty religious
about using sunscreen.
184
00:07:18,618 --> 00:07:21,917
May I tell you
about today's specials?
185
00:07:21,918 --> 00:07:24,277
We have broasted chicken,
186
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:26,447
whole breaded catfish plate,
187
00:07:26,448 --> 00:07:27,947
shrimp salad--
188
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,078
I'll have that.
You stopped me.
189
00:07:31,548 --> 00:07:33,817
I memorize the specials
in order,
190
00:07:33,818 --> 00:07:37,118
so if you stop me,
I've got to go back to the top.
191
00:07:38,648 --> 00:07:39,817
Sorry.
192
00:07:39,818 --> 00:07:41,477
No, it's okay.
193
00:07:41,478 --> 00:07:43,947
It's okay.
I'll just start again.
194
00:07:43,948 --> 00:07:46,817
Um, we have broasted chicken,
195
00:07:46,818 --> 00:07:48,717
whole breaded catfish plate,
196
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,147
shrimp salad,
197
00:07:50,148 --> 00:07:52,477
salmon croquettes
with Creole sauce--
198
00:07:52,478 --> 00:07:53,618
Hmm.
199
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,877
Did that count as interrupting?
200
00:08:03,878 --> 00:08:05,377
It did.
201
00:08:13,448 --> 00:08:14,817
Oh, oh!
202
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:19,017
I've seen this one
a million times.
203
00:08:19,018 --> 00:08:20,247
It--it used to be my--
204
00:08:20,248 --> 00:08:22,717
my go-to move to do it
on a first date.
205
00:08:24,318 --> 00:08:25,648
That's not sad.
206
00:08:27,348 --> 00:08:31,147
Ooh, the "leave Britney
alone" speech that fan gave
207
00:08:31,148 --> 00:08:33,717
after Britney Spears
screwed up at the VMAs.
208
00:08:34,618 --> 00:08:36,788
It was sad-larious.
209
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,657
You are going down, Karen.
210
00:08:40,658 --> 00:08:42,517
Hit it!
211
00:08:42,518 --> 00:08:46,817
Leave Britney alone!
212
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,957
Please!
213
00:08:54,018 --> 00:08:56,317
Perez Hilton talked about
professionalism
214
00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:58,587
and said if Britney
was a professional,
215
00:08:58,588 --> 00:09:01,757
she would've pulled it off,
no matter what.
216
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:04,957
Speaking of professionalism,
when is it professional
217
00:09:04,958 --> 00:09:06,517
to publicly bash someone
218
00:09:06,518 --> 00:09:09,457
who's going through
a hard time?
219
00:09:09,458 --> 00:09:12,457
Leave Britney alone!
220
00:09:12,458 --> 00:09:14,917
Please!
221
00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:16,817
Boo!
222
00:09:16,818 --> 00:09:18,817
Boo! Boo!
223
00:09:19,858 --> 00:09:21,657
Take off your pants!
224
00:09:21,658 --> 00:09:23,057
Who said that?
225
00:09:23,058 --> 00:09:25,657
Well, that wasn't half bad,
226
00:09:25,658 --> 00:09:28,087
Britney Queers.
227
00:09:28,088 --> 00:09:29,958
Now...
228
00:09:31,558 --> 00:09:32,987
Watch and learn.
229
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:40,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
230
00:09:42,858 --> 00:09:46,288
Ah, the Wicked Witch monologue.
231
00:09:47,458 --> 00:09:49,117
Straight out of the bible.
232
00:09:50,718 --> 00:09:52,217
Broasted chicken,
233
00:09:52,218 --> 00:09:54,487
whole breaded catfish plate,
234
00:09:54,488 --> 00:09:55,687
shrimp salad--
235
00:09:55,688 --> 00:09:56,687
She'll have the salad.
236
00:09:56,688 --> 00:09:57,887
I'll have the Reuben.
237
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,917
Unless you're on the menu,
sweetheart.
238
00:09:59,918 --> 00:10:01,157
I am not,
239
00:10:01,158 --> 00:10:02,887
although, my name is Patty,
240
00:10:02,888 --> 00:10:04,487
and there are
hamburger patties,
241
00:10:04,488 --> 00:10:06,388
so I almost made it.
242
00:10:11,818 --> 00:10:13,557
Why do you do that?
243
00:10:13,558 --> 00:10:15,517
Flirting, calling women
"sweetheart"?
244
00:10:15,518 --> 00:10:17,187
Ah, they love it.
They don't love it.
245
00:10:17,188 --> 00:10:19,887
I mean, everybody's
so sensitive nowadays.
246
00:10:19,888 --> 00:10:22,017
Sometimes I feel like
men can't be men anymore,
247
00:10:22,018 --> 00:10:24,717
not with this,
uh, #NotMe stuff.
248
00:10:24,718 --> 00:10:27,358
"Me Too."
Well, we agree on something.
249
00:10:28,658 --> 00:10:29,917
And why are you being
such a nudge?
250
00:10:29,918 --> 00:10:31,557
Because it--
251
00:10:31,558 --> 00:10:33,057
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
252
00:10:33,058 --> 00:10:35,217
Let's just eat
and then visit Mom.
253
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,517
And then Harry.
No.
254
00:10:36,518 --> 00:10:37,557
I told you. No Harry.
255
00:10:37,558 --> 00:10:38,557
He was my best friend.
256
00:10:38,558 --> 00:10:39,717
Well, he wasn't mine.
257
00:10:39,718 --> 00:10:40,917
You know, it always
bothered me,
258
00:10:40,918 --> 00:10:42,557
this thing you have
about Harry.
259
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,687
I got you a good job
working for my best friend,
260
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:46,957
and you stole money.
261
00:10:46,958 --> 00:10:48,387
You know how embarrassing
that was for me?
262
00:10:48,388 --> 00:10:50,057
Dad-- And you didn't apologize.
263
00:10:50,058 --> 00:10:51,687
If you had apologized,
things would be different.
264
00:10:51,688 --> 00:10:53,457
But you didn't apologize.
That's not what happened.
265
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:54,917
Well, you tell me
what happened.
266
00:10:54,918 --> 00:10:56,257
I don't want to talk about it.
267
00:10:56,258 --> 00:10:57,618
Now you don't want to talk.
268
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,987
The whole summer
that I worked for Harry,
269
00:11:00,988 --> 00:11:02,917
I kept telling you
he was creepy.
270
00:11:02,918 --> 00:11:04,217
What did you think that meant?
271
00:11:04,218 --> 00:11:06,487
Uh, I don't know.
He was a flirty guy.
272
00:11:06,488 --> 00:11:07,957
Oh, and--and you
thought that was okay?
273
00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:09,257
Him flirting with
your daughter?
274
00:11:09,258 --> 00:11:10,887
That was a different time.
No, no.
275
00:11:10,888 --> 00:11:12,257
That's not an excuse.
276
00:11:12,258 --> 00:11:13,557
What--just because
it was a different time,
277
00:11:13,558 --> 00:11:14,587
it wasn't bad?
278
00:11:14,588 --> 00:11:15,887
No, all that meant
279
00:11:15,888 --> 00:11:17,087
was that people
got away with it.
280
00:11:17,088 --> 00:11:18,257
Hey, calm down.
No, don't--
281
00:11:18,258 --> 00:11:20,087
Do not tell me to calm down.
282
00:11:20,088 --> 00:11:21,987
I can't do this.
Where you going?
283
00:11:21,988 --> 00:11:23,917
I mean, what did he do?
Pat you on the tushy?
284
00:11:23,918 --> 00:11:25,417
No, he did more than that.
285
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:26,887
That doesn't sound like Harry.
286
00:11:26,888 --> 00:11:28,487
He had his faults,
but he was a good guy.
287
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,517
He was not a good guy.
It was a long time ago.
288
00:11:30,518 --> 00:11:33,687
Maybe you're misremembering.
No, no! I remember!
289
00:11:33,688 --> 00:11:36,588
I remember every single thing
that happened that day.
290
00:11:39,618 --> 00:11:41,658
I-I--wait, I don't want
to talk about it.
291
00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:44,518
No, we're talking.
292
00:11:47,088 --> 00:11:48,687
It was hot,
293
00:11:48,688 --> 00:11:50,287
so I had to have my hair up,
294
00:11:50,288 --> 00:11:53,017
and it showed off the earrings
that I borrowed from Mom
295
00:11:53,018 --> 00:11:55,517
that made me feel
really grown up.
296
00:11:55,518 --> 00:11:57,187
And then,
at the end of the day,
297
00:11:57,188 --> 00:11:59,087
Harry called me
into his office.
298
00:11:59,088 --> 00:12:01,017
What are you talking about?
I walked in.
299
00:12:01,018 --> 00:12:03,657
He shut the door,
he closed the blinds,
300
00:12:03,658 --> 00:12:05,157
and then he pushed me up
against the wall.
301
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:06,687
Gracie, no.
302
00:12:06,688 --> 00:12:07,687
I tried to scream,
303
00:12:07,688 --> 00:12:08,957
but he told me "Quiet."
304
00:12:08,958 --> 00:12:10,157
Then he started kissing me
305
00:12:10,158 --> 00:12:11,487
and touching me,
306
00:12:11,488 --> 00:12:12,987
and then he pulled down
my pants,
307
00:12:12,988 --> 00:12:14,057
put his fingers up--
308
00:12:14,058 --> 00:12:15,517
Stop!
309
00:12:15,518 --> 00:12:17,958
I was 15.
310
00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,387
I hate to interrupt the party,
311
00:12:26,388 --> 00:12:28,588
but we ran out of shrimp salad.
312
00:12:33,318 --> 00:12:34,317
I know.
313
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:36,817
I'm disappointed too.
314
00:12:42,687 --> 00:12:44,904
Afterwards, I just wanted
315
00:12:44,906 --> 00:12:46,336
to get away from him.
316
00:12:46,338 --> 00:12:47,597
I just wanted to be home,
317
00:12:47,598 --> 00:12:49,197
so I took money
out of the drawer,
318
00:12:49,198 --> 00:12:50,367
and I called a cab.
319
00:12:50,368 --> 00:12:53,237
That's why I stole the money.
320
00:12:53,238 --> 00:12:54,768
Why didn't you tell me?
321
00:12:56,798 --> 00:12:57,567
How could I?
322
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,537
What if you didn't believe me?
323
00:12:59,538 --> 00:13:01,338
What if nobody believed me?
324
00:13:03,298 --> 00:13:05,837
Why didn't you see?
325
00:13:05,838 --> 00:13:06,637
You're my father.
326
00:13:06,638 --> 00:13:08,367
You're supposed to protect me.
327
00:13:08,368 --> 00:13:09,567
I didn't know!
You should have.
328
00:13:09,568 --> 00:13:12,037
You're right!
329
00:13:12,038 --> 00:13:13,567
I'm so sorry, Grace.
330
00:13:13,568 --> 00:13:15,498
I'm so sorry.
331
00:13:18,368 --> 00:13:21,038
I didn't protect
my little girl.
332
00:13:23,198 --> 00:13:24,267
It's okay, Daddy.
333
00:13:24,268 --> 00:13:26,037
No, it's not okay.
334
00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:27,638
How can it be okay?
335
00:13:32,038 --> 00:13:33,638
How did you get through it?
336
00:13:36,338 --> 00:13:42,167
Well, you just kind of split
yourself into two people.
337
00:13:42,168 --> 00:13:43,767
The person it happened to
338
00:13:43,768 --> 00:13:46,898
and the one who gets
through the day.
339
00:13:48,198 --> 00:13:49,567
And then you grow up,
340
00:13:49,568 --> 00:13:52,467
and your life gets bigger...
341
00:13:52,468 --> 00:13:54,738
and that stuff gets smaller.
342
00:13:56,038 --> 00:13:59,367
Here are your waters.
Thank you.
343
00:13:59,368 --> 00:14:01,097
I know the glasses look dirty,
344
00:14:01,098 --> 00:14:02,968
but it's just the water.
345
00:14:08,498 --> 00:14:10,097
Did you tell anyone else?
346
00:14:10,098 --> 00:14:11,767
I told one person.
347
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:12,837
Good.
348
00:14:12,838 --> 00:14:15,438
I'm glad you have
a best friend.
349
00:14:18,068 --> 00:14:20,297
Can you ever forgive me?
350
00:14:20,298 --> 00:14:22,197
I can.
351
00:14:22,198 --> 00:14:24,697
I'm not gonna visit
that bastard in the cemetery.
352
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,297
I never want to hear
his name again.
353
00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:27,768
He's dead to me.
354
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:32,167
Well, he's dead
to everybody, Daddy.
355
00:14:32,168 --> 00:14:33,437
♪ ♪
356
00:14:33,438 --> 00:14:34,667
Just try!
357
00:14:34,668 --> 00:14:36,767
I'll get you, my pretty,
358
00:14:36,768 --> 00:14:38,437
and your little dog too!
359
00:14:43,968 --> 00:14:45,068
Broom drop.
360
00:14:46,768 --> 00:14:48,637
Who likes the drag queen?
361
00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:54,997
And who likes
my second husband,
362
00:14:54,998 --> 00:14:57,567
should my first husband die
a timely death?
363
00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:01,897
We have a new dilemma.
364
00:15:01,898 --> 00:15:04,197
We've never had a tied
bitch royale.
365
00:15:05,498 --> 00:15:07,667
Are you saying
I've got to decide?
366
00:15:07,668 --> 00:15:09,067
Or we could have a contest
367
00:15:09,068 --> 00:15:11,237
to see which one
knows you better.
368
00:15:11,238 --> 00:15:14,967
Or you suggesting
a public Jack-off?
369
00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:19,997
Okay, Will,
this question is to you.
370
00:15:19,998 --> 00:15:21,837
In the fall of aught eight,
371
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,697
I had a brief,
but torrid, affair
372
00:15:23,698 --> 00:15:25,067
with a certain redhead.
373
00:15:25,068 --> 00:15:28,037
Tell me his name, where we met,
374
00:15:28,038 --> 00:15:29,537
and what food he threw at me
375
00:15:29,538 --> 00:15:32,037
when I told him
I met someone else.
376
00:15:32,038 --> 00:15:33,898
Dick, dock, duck.
377
00:15:36,138 --> 00:15:37,497
That is correct.
378
00:15:38,768 --> 00:15:40,867
In your face, Walker!
379
00:15:40,868 --> 00:15:42,237
Nicely done, Will.
380
00:15:42,238 --> 00:15:44,197
Gorgeous and smart.
381
00:15:44,198 --> 00:15:47,297
Oscar, I'm leaving you.
382
00:15:47,298 --> 00:15:49,037
Oh, forget it.
383
00:15:49,038 --> 00:15:50,697
Okay, Karen.
Okay.
384
00:15:50,698 --> 00:15:52,667
This one's for you.
385
00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:55,537
It is a question
about my "peh-nis."
386
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,097
I know it better than my own.
387
00:15:58,098 --> 00:15:59,938
Ha-ha-ha!
388
00:16:01,238 --> 00:16:03,737
When fully aroused...
Oh, yeah.
389
00:16:03,738 --> 00:16:05,067
Like when Conor McGregor
390
00:16:05,068 --> 00:16:06,267
is on the cover
of "Men's Health"
391
00:16:06,268 --> 00:16:07,367
or there is a light breeze...
392
00:16:07,368 --> 00:16:09,537
Yes. Mm.
393
00:16:09,538 --> 00:16:12,237
What is my measurement
394
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,567
in Good & Plentys?
395
00:16:16,198 --> 00:16:17,437
Damn it.
396
00:16:17,438 --> 00:16:19,268
I know it in Red Vines.
397
00:16:21,338 --> 00:16:22,868
I'm gonna say 18.
398
00:16:23,868 --> 00:16:25,997
18?
399
00:16:25,998 --> 00:16:28,597
I'd be hung like a--
oh, my God, that is correct!
400
00:16:28,598 --> 00:16:31,467
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
401
00:16:39,908 --> 00:16:41,648
So I told him, Mom.
402
00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:45,978
But you were wrong;
he did okay.
403
00:16:47,108 --> 00:16:49,747
I think you would've
been proud of him.
404
00:16:49,748 --> 00:16:51,948
He said he was sorry.
405
00:16:53,778 --> 00:16:55,177
You know, I always thought
406
00:16:55,178 --> 00:16:57,478
that I needed an apology
from Harry...
407
00:16:58,808 --> 00:17:02,308
But it turned out I really
needed one from Daddy.
408
00:17:03,908 --> 00:17:06,108
I feel better.
409
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:12,207
Oh, by the way, seeing someone.
410
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:15,607
He's Jewish and straight,
411
00:17:15,608 --> 00:17:17,608
so stop spinning.
412
00:17:19,408 --> 00:17:21,577
He's a good guy...
413
00:17:21,578 --> 00:17:23,978
although he complains
about everything.
414
00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:27,608
I guess you and I have a type.
415
00:17:34,078 --> 00:17:36,048
I miss you, Mom.
416
00:17:37,078 --> 00:17:41,147
♪ ♪
417
00:17:41,148 --> 00:17:43,647
Did you have a good visit
with your mother?
418
00:17:43,648 --> 00:17:45,277
I did.
419
00:17:45,278 --> 00:17:47,277
You didn't tell her
I remarried, did you?
420
00:17:47,278 --> 00:17:48,647
No.
421
00:17:48,648 --> 00:17:50,607
But don't you think
she'd want you to be happy?
422
00:17:50,608 --> 00:17:52,048
Absolutely not.
423
00:17:53,108 --> 00:17:56,407
I wouldn't want her
to be happy, either.
424
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:57,247
That's love.
425
00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:03,147
♪ ♪
426
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:05,377
Once again, the score is tied.
427
00:18:05,378 --> 00:18:08,277
Now it's time
for the final question.
428
00:18:08,278 --> 00:18:11,477
Will, what is my greatest--
429
00:18:11,478 --> 00:18:14,647
Sneaking into Cher's trailer
and trying on her wig.
430
00:18:14,648 --> 00:18:17,447
Please wait until I finish
the entire question.
431
00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:20,547
But, yes, that is
my greatest achievement.
432
00:18:20,548 --> 00:18:21,777
But...
433
00:18:21,778 --> 00:18:23,947
what is my greatest fear?
434
00:18:23,948 --> 00:18:25,207
Oh, that's easy.
435
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:27,177
Never having a legitimate
acting career.
436
00:18:27,178 --> 00:18:29,007
Ladies and gentlemen,
your best man!
437
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:31,307
Ha, not even close, Wilma!
438
00:18:31,308 --> 00:18:34,277
His greatest fear is aging.
439
00:18:34,278 --> 00:18:35,807
Oh, please,
he'd be fine about aging
440
00:18:35,808 --> 00:18:37,147
if he can get a single part.
441
00:18:37,148 --> 00:18:39,247
Well, this sort of hurts.
442
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,207
Are you telling me
he doesn't look more and more
443
00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:43,547
like Angela Lansbury
every single day?
444
00:18:43,548 --> 00:18:44,747
Okay, maybe we don't just--
445
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:45,977
Wait, wait, wait.
446
00:18:45,978 --> 00:18:47,877
I have known him
way longer than you.
447
00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:49,207
I should be best man!
448
00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:50,407
This is stupid!
I know I'm better.
449
00:18:50,408 --> 00:18:51,847
I should be best man.
450
00:18:51,848 --> 00:18:54,177
Why--would you--
Stop, stop it, stop!
451
00:18:54,178 --> 00:18:57,208
Stop! Stop, stop!
452
00:19:00,648 --> 00:19:03,707
Why are we fighting over
who's best man?
453
00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:05,847
Isn't marriage
just some weird thing
454
00:19:05,848 --> 00:19:09,108
straight guys came up with
as a way to own a woman?
455
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:13,777
And sure, it'd be great
to own a woman.
456
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:17,207
You know, to open jars...
457
00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:18,777
or to hold your purse
458
00:19:18,778 --> 00:19:21,448
while you and your boyfriend
go on the Ferris wheel.
459
00:19:22,948 --> 00:19:24,877
But we are gay men!
460
00:19:24,878 --> 00:19:26,577
We make our own rules!
461
00:19:26,578 --> 00:19:29,407
I say, let's reinvent marriage.
462
00:19:29,408 --> 00:19:31,277
Yeah, rip it apart.
463
00:19:31,278 --> 00:19:33,177
Take off the sleeves,
fringe the bottom,
464
00:19:33,178 --> 00:19:35,007
and crop the top!
465
00:19:38,408 --> 00:19:40,507
So here's my new rule.
466
00:19:40,508 --> 00:19:44,647
I'm gonna have two best men.
467
00:19:44,648 --> 00:19:47,877
Because, yeah,
we got gay marriage,
468
00:19:47,878 --> 00:19:50,247
but let's make marriage gay!
469
00:19:54,548 --> 00:19:56,947
Yeah, I can live with
two best men.
470
00:19:56,948 --> 00:19:58,977
Yeah, me too.
471
00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:03,107
Grace, when did you get here?
472
00:20:06,108 --> 00:20:07,607
♪ ♪
473
00:20:07,608 --> 00:20:10,607
And sure, it'd be great
to own a woman.
474
00:20:10,608 --> 00:20:12,577
You know, to open jars...
475
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:14,447
or to hold your purse
476
00:20:14,448 --> 00:20:16,178
while you and your boyfriend
go on the Ferris wheel.
477
00:20:17,178 --> 00:20:20,648
I can't believe you made it
on the wheel at Ms. Coco's.
478
00:20:22,208 --> 00:20:23,507
I know!
479
00:20:23,508 --> 00:20:26,508
Everybody at the gay bar
is doing me.
480
00:20:28,448 --> 00:20:30,748
You haven't said that
for years.
481
00:20:31,748 --> 00:20:33,247
Honey, I've divided up
482
00:20:33,248 --> 00:20:34,807
our responsibilities
for the wedding.
483
00:20:34,808 --> 00:20:38,148
Well, yours just says,
"Show up if avail."
484
00:20:39,208 --> 00:20:42,148
It's a big ask,
but I love the guy.
485
00:20:44,378 --> 00:20:46,147
Hey.
Hey, Grace.
486
00:20:46,148 --> 00:20:47,977
How did it go?
Was it torture?
487
00:20:47,978 --> 00:20:50,607
Uh, it was a lot of things.
488
00:20:50,608 --> 00:20:55,107
But it was good.
Really good.
489
00:20:55,108 --> 00:20:57,177
Thanks for making me go.
490
00:20:57,178 --> 00:20:58,647
So how was brunch?
491
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,547
Will and Karen did a Jack-off
492
00:21:00,548 --> 00:21:02,677
to decide who would
be my best man,
493
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,377
and you're never
gonna guess who won.
494
00:21:04,378 --> 00:21:07,277
Oh, oh--they both did!
495
00:21:07,278 --> 00:21:08,507
Will, tell her the story.
Actually, don't.
496
00:21:08,508 --> 00:21:09,947
You'll be boring.
Karen, tell her.
497
00:21:09,948 --> 00:21:11,678
♪ ♪
498
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,680
For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
498
00:21:16,305 --> 00:21:22,808
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
33845
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
