Original subtitles

- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

- Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Oh!

Ah!

- Ch-ch-ch.

Ah, okay.

Okay.

Cowboy.

Ah-num-num-num!

Ah-num-num-num! Ah-num-num-num.

Hello. Hello.

Good morning.

I have to pay my taxes.

- Madloba. Madloba.

Madloba.

- Didi madloba. Didi madloba. - Madloba.

- Didi madloba.

Didi madloba.

- Madloba. Madloba.

- Didi madloba.

- Madloba. - Didi madloba.

And, uh...

- Ah, no.

Didi madloba.

- Madloba.

- Did you shit?

- Little gatito shits.

- Oh...

- Take a picture! Take a picture!

- Can you... can you reach...

Can you reach here?

- Yeah, but not after doing some of them.

- But can you do it like that? Yeah.

Yeah.

- Number one, my friend!

Oh, yes.

Oh.

- Your wife?

- Fiancée... will be his wife.

- She can carry? - She can carry, yes.

- Yeah, don't... don't worry about me.

No, I'm strong.

- Number one, my friend!

My friend.

- Number one. Yeah.

- Without horse, without donkey...

100 lari a day.

- In Svaneti, it was 60 a day.

- In Svaneti, yeah, but here's Khevi.

- Yeah, I know. - Local price.

- My friend, number one!

- Why don't we...

Can we make it a little bit cheaper?

- Do you want this?

- Yep.

Shh.

- Madloba!

- Madloba.

- Denver Nuggets! - Yeah, Denver Nuggets.

- Didi madloba!

- You said "thank you" to him.

- "Madloba" means...

- That's "thank you."

Gamarjoba. Gamarjoba.

- Gamarjoba. - Gamarjoba.

- Hey, be careful.

He is not pet dog.

He can bite.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, yeah, really.

And he has... fleas.

Dirty dog.

- Look at that goat.

It has three horns. - Yeah.

- The king sheep. - Mutant.

Mutant.

- You always have a goat with sheep.

Goat is very smart,

and sheep is stupid.

And sheep will follow goat.

If goat fall off rock,

sheep fall too.

- So are we your sheep?

- Whoa. Stampede.

- One, two, three, four.

- Hey, hey!

Wait me! Ho!

- What? - Wait me.

Give me rucksack. - No, no, no, it's okay.

It's okay, Dato. - No, no.

- It's okay.

I'm fine.

- Oh!

- Be careful!

No, no, I'm fine.

I don't need help.

It's okay. I'm fine.

Thank you.

Oops!

- You okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine. Fine.

- What is it?

- Very nice stone.

I don't know English name.

Georgian name is...

It help many problems...

liver problems,

stomach problems...

Kidneys problems.

And in Asian country,

this is very expensive.

$800.

- Wow.

- And it make your skin very good,

is very beautiful,

like baby's ass.

You can take.

- Thank you.

I just have to rub it all over my body every day,

and I'll be perfectly healthy.

And beautiful.

- After shower.

- Hey.

You think he just made that up?

- Let's see.

- No, no, don't lick it. Don't lick it.

Don't lick it.

Let's see it.

- Hold it for a second?

Come back with my rock.

- No.

Give me the rock.

It's amazing.

- Hey, come.

- Alex...

- Come on.

Okay.

- Three weeks, and you become a bear.

- I know, I'm gonna... l'm gonna shave it when we get back.

- Hey, guys?

Do you know what this is?

- What is it?

- You can eat.

Eat it.

Good?

- Mm, strong.

- Mm, it...

- So now we are waiting two hours.

And after, you will die.

Die.

Sorry.

- We what?

We die?

- Sorry.

This is joke.

Th is is k'vliavi.

Good.

- What is it?

- It's cumin.

- Mm-hmm.

- What is that?

- You know, Chinese government say we are too much people,

and we must... some people, castration.

And... but Chinese doctors is not enough.

And come...

- What happened?

- Okay.

Yeah. Ready?

Let me go a bit...

There... no, a bit more.

Yeah, yeah.

- Ah, yes.

- Ah.

Didi madloba.

- Okay.

- You're welcome.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Okay.

- So... - So!

Castration!

Chinese castration.

- And come Georgian doctor, and he make

a thousand operation for one day.

This Chinese doctor ask,

"What happened?"

And come look what is...

And Georgian doctor take two rocks

and... on the balls.

Push, bah!

One, two, three!

And so, thousand.

- A day?

- Yeah, a day.

But they ask, "Maybe this make big pain?"

Yeah, yeah, big pain,

when your finger...

if your finger come in between,

this make big pain.

But thousand operation for Chinese people...

Nothing.

This was not enough.

And come Gurian person,

Gurian doctor.

Do you know Guria?

It is west part of Georgia.

Very funny people, very smart.

And he make 10,000 operation every day.

And so you make big people line.

Bend over and put balls in...

Ah, mouth.

And after one push... ow!

And... ow, ow, ow.

And then...

Very cheap and very fast.

But this is not enough for Chinese people.

They are too much.

Both: 9 chimpanzees, 10 chimpanzees,

11 chimpanzees, 12 chimpanzees,

13 chimpanzees,

14 chimpanzees,

15 chimpanzees, 16 chimpanzees,

17 chimpanzees, 18 chimpanzees,

19 chimpanzees, 20 chimpanzees,

21 chimpanzees, 22 chimpanzees,

23 chimpanzees, 24 chimpanzees,

25 chimpanzees, 26 chimpanzees,

27 chimpanzees, 28 chimpanzees,

29 chimpanzees, 30 chimpanzees,

31 chimpanzees, 32 chimpanzees,

33 chimpanzees, 34 chimpanzees,

35 chimpanzees, 36 chimpanzees,

37 chimpanzees, 38 chimpanzees,

39 chimpanzees, 40 chimpanzees,

41 chimpanzees, 42 chimpan...

- Alex, which car do you have?

- Bicycle.

- Only bicycle? - Yeah.

- Next year, I want buy four-wheel car.

Toyota Land Cruiser.

All square, you know?

- Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- My neighbor buy from America by internet,

but you must be careful,

because sometimes they say car is okay;

you pay money,

and after come, car with many problems,

with engine problems or something.

I think some black people...

- Dato...

- Make this special...

- Don't say it like that.

- And that I want buy from Japanese.

Japanese people, they are correct.

If they say car is okay, car is okay.

- What are...

- Ah-ah-ah...

No.

- Up.

- Cut it?

- Cut. Yeah.

Oh-bah.

- Watch it.

- Be careful.

Please make knot.

- Like that? - Mm-hmm.

- Again?

- Mm-hmm, one more.

Okay, yeah?

Take.

- Nice!

- Yeah!

- Op, op, op, op.

Op, op, op.

Eh!

- Wow. - Wow.

- Take foot... your hand.

- My foot?

- Your hand.

- Other hand?

- Yeah.

Okay. - Ow.

- Now your khachapuri is mine.

- Now I eat like this.

Okay, open.

Open!

- Wait, wait.

This is not easy.

- With the knife.

- Okay. - Be careful.

Careful.

Now put...

- Good, good trick.

Now put it back together.

- Salvador?

- Yes.

- Armenia?

- Yes.

- Bhutan?

- No.

- Cuba?

- Yes.

- Kyrgyzstan?

- Yes.

- Sierra Leone?

- No.

- Turkmenistan?

- No.

- Albania?

- Comí.

Comiste.

Comió.

Comimos.

Comimos...

Comi-eron.

- Comieron. - Comieron.

- Uh-huh.

Mm... Querer.

- Queri.

- Mm-mm.

- Que...

- It's irregular.

- Ah, si.

Qui... quise.

- Uh-huh.

- Quisiste.

Quiso.

Quisimos.

Quisieron.

- Yeah.

Uh...

Poder.

- Pode? Pude?

- Uh-huh.

- Pudiste.

Pudo.

Pudimos.

Pudieron.

- Cojear.

- Cojeé.

Cojeaste.

- Uh-huh.

- Cojeó. - Mm.

Cojeamos. - Sí.

- Cojearon.

- Bien.

Eh...

Remember tener?

- Tiene.

Teni?

- It's irregular as well.

- Ay!

- Tuve. - Tu...

- Tuve. - Tuve.

Tuviste.

Tu... tuvio?

- Tuvo. - Tuvo.

Tuvimos.

Hey.

No.

No.

Nica, no.

He's right there.

He's right in front of us.

Come on.

No.

He's right in front of us.

- You like it.

- Of course I like it.

I don't like it that he's...

Shh, shh.

Shh, shh, shh.

Shh... don't. You're making me...

"The mountains close in more and more tightly,

and it seems as though there's no longer any hope.

Only a bit of sky is visible directly above our heads.

It has a disheartening effect on us.

We are overwhelmed and keep silent.

Suddenly at a sharp turn in the road,

a huge chasm opens up on our right,

and quite close to us,

we see the ice-covered peak of Mount Kazbek

with its glaciers sparkling white in the sun.

It is cheek byjowl with us,

placid and tall, mute.

A mysterious feeling courses through us.

The cliff stands there as if conjured up by the other cliffs.

We feel as though a being from another world

is looking at us.

I scramble out of the carriage,

get behind the folding top and..."

What does it mean?

This means "son of beach."

- "Bitch."

"Beach," it's, uh...

Beach.

- Beach!

- Yeah, yeah.

I take my bitch to the beach.

I take my bitch to the beach.

- I take my beach to the beach.

- I take my bitch to the beach.

- I take my bitch to the bitch.

- I take my bitch to the beach.

I take my bitch to the beach.

I take my bitch

to the beach.

I take my bitch

to the beach.

I take my bitch

to the beach!

- I take my bitch to the beach!

Okay, okay, okay.

Now we must drink.

- Hey, thank you. Thank you.

- Ah.

- Ah! Ahh.

- Yes, mine, mine, mine.

- Mmm.

- Now we drink.

- Do you have a bug on you?

- We drink to woman.

Okay?

- Okay.

- You must stand up.

- Okay.

- On the... no, not... not...

Sit down. Sit down.

On the knee.

- Oh, on the knees?

- For... to woman!

- To woman! - Yes.

Without woman, life is nothing.

I cannot.

- Gaumarjos.

- Gaumarjos. - Gaumarjos.

- Gaumarjos.

- Oh.

Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.

Next lesson.

I...

I take a shit

on the sheet.

- I take sheet

on the sheet.

No.

Okay.

- I take shit...

- A shit. - Shit.

- Shit.

- Shit!

- Alex. - Hmm?

- I have to pee.

- Yeah.

- Whoo!

Ahh.

Whoo.

- One, two...

Good.

- Almost, almost.

Perfect throw.

One, two...

- Gamarjoba. - Gamarjoba.