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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,070 --> 00:00:03,984 Hey guys, we're heading to the hospital to have the baby. 2 00:00:04,031 --> 00:00:05,472 Oh, my God. Are you in labor? 3 00:00:05,507 --> 00:00:08,642 No, but the baby's a week late so we are inducing 4 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:11,211 and it's no fault of Dina's 5 00:00:11,246 --> 00:00:12,780 that she did not deliver on schedule. 6 00:00:12,814 --> 00:00:14,882 Yeah, well, by the way you only paid me for 40 weeks 7 00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:16,383 so I will be charging you overtime. 8 00:00:16,418 --> 00:00:18,919 Well, when I don't get a package on time 9 00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:22,289 the shipping company gives me a refund and an apology. 10 00:00:22,706 --> 00:00:24,258 Anyway, you all have my cell phone number 11 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:26,727 but only call if it is a true emergency 12 00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:29,329 like a fire, or a big storm, or a robbery, okay? 13 00:00:29,364 --> 00:00:32,566 What if a celebrity comes in the store like Alec Baldwin, 14 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,269 or Billy Baldwin, or Stephen Baldwin? 15 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:36,670 It doesn't matter which Baldwin... 16 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,906 you don't need to call. Just enjoy. 17 00:00:38,940 --> 00:00:40,574 Uh, Glenn, can I give you a call 18 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,309 if I really, really, miss you? 19 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,578 Aww, of course you can. 20 00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:46,780 Any other questions? Yes? 21 00:00:46,815 --> 00:00:48,582 Do you have any room in your car? 22 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,584 I think maybe my water just broke. 23 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,753 - Oh! - Oh, my God. 24 00:00:52,787 --> 00:00:54,655 No, no. You're not due for another three weeks. 25 00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:56,423 Oh yeah, that's right. Never mind. 26 00:00:56,458 --> 00:00:58,459 Thanks a lot, Amy. You got it on my shoes. 27 00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:00,694 Oh, no, those shoes were so cool. 28 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,429 'Kay, come on. Let's get to the hospital. 29 00:01:02,464 --> 00:01:03,797 - I'm gonna get your stuff. - Thank you. 30 00:01:03,832 --> 00:01:04,665 Oh, what? 31 00:01:04,699 --> 00:01:06,967 See Dina? Amy had her baby early. 32 00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:07,915 Was that so hard? 33 00:01:07,916 --> 00:01:10,170 - You're such a kiss-ass. - I didn't choose today. 34 00:01:15,577 --> 00:01:19,646 Okay, I got your fluffy socks, your cellphone charger, 35 00:01:19,681 --> 00:01:21,982 also got a copy of "Us Weekly" in case you wanted to see 36 00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:24,618 a four-page spread of Gwen Stefani pumping gas. 37 00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:27,154 Ah, I love it when they pump their own gas. 38 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,655 Hey, Amy! 39 00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:30,524 Look quick... I see a hummingbird out my window. 40 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,893 - Do you see it? - Uh-huh. 41 00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,495 I don't think you're really looking. 42 00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:37,103 - I am. - What color is it? 43 00:01:38,066 --> 00:01:39,233 Green? 44 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,303 Yeah, okay. It's nice, right? 45 00:01:43,338 --> 00:01:44,571 So nice. 46 00:01:45,618 --> 00:01:51,645 Okay, uh, you seem to be all set, so I guess I'm gonna go? 47 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,680 - Oh. - I mean, I don't have to. 48 00:01:53,715 --> 00:01:54,882 - I'm fine staying here... - No, no, no, no. 49 00:01:54,916 --> 00:01:56,383 Or if you want me to stay I can... 50 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,485 - You can go if... - You tell me 51 00:01:58,527 --> 00:01:59,908 what you want me to do. 52 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:01,822 Um, well, I mean, 53 00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,991 I don't want you to feel like you have to stay, 54 00:02:04,025 --> 00:02:07,361 but I don't want you to feel like you can't stay. 55 00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:09,361 Okay, cool, so then I'll just... 56 00:02:10,632 --> 00:02:12,424 Sorry, still no idea. 57 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,370 I think I want you here, but, like, not here-here. 58 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:17,838 Just like, around. 59 00:02:18,329 --> 00:02:19,673 You know how like at The Cheesecake Factory 60 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,508 they give you a buzzer and you just have to stay 61 00:02:21,543 --> 00:02:22,844 within a certain radius? 62 00:02:22,845 --> 00:02:25,612 Buzzer radius, got it. Okay. So, yeah, I'll just stay 63 00:02:25,647 --> 00:02:28,549 in the general vicinity at an appropriate distance 64 00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,884 for a guy you're dating who is not the father. 65 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,509 Oh! The father. I should tell Adam. 66 00:02:34,789 --> 00:02:35,312 Yeah. 67 00:02:47,414 --> 00:02:49,536 That makes no sense. You would get sick. 68 00:02:49,571 --> 00:02:50,904 I'm not saying you wouldn't get sick. 69 00:02:50,939 --> 00:02:52,539 I'm just saying that every arrangement 70 00:02:52,574 --> 00:02:54,608 is technically an edible arrangement. 71 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,310 Glenn, today is all about Dina. 72 00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,711 If she wants to eat the flowers, 73 00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:59,212 let her eat the flowers. 74 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,714 Knock-knock. Hi. 75 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,549 I'm Dr. Sidian, I'm the attending on the floor. 76 00:03:02,584 --> 00:03:03,877 Holy crap. 77 00:03:03,878 --> 00:03:05,819 I know Dr. Meyer is on her way, but in case you guys 78 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,421 need anything before she gets here, 79 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,683 - I'm around. - Yeah. 80 00:03:08,684 --> 00:03:11,391 Any questions, pain meds, perfect martini. 81 00:03:11,426 --> 00:03:14,995 Martini. 82 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,397 Shaken, not stirred, Mr. Bond. 83 00:03:17,432 --> 00:03:18,999 That's Dr. Bond. 84 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:22,235 - Oh, wow, yes! - I'm around. Give me a call. 85 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:24,438 Yeah, he's an attractive man. 86 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,239 I think we should switch to Dr. Sidian. 87 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:29,242 No, but we've been seeing Dr. Meyer for nine months. 88 00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:30,911 Yeah, I just feel more comfortable with this guy. 89 00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:33,313 Honestly, I was never a Dr. Meyer fan. 90 00:03:33,751 --> 00:03:36,116 I didn't want to say anything but during one of our exams 91 00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,485 she was accidentally looking into my butt the whole time. 92 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,065 I think she got confused, 93 00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:41,622 and I felt bad correcting her. 94 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,190 Glenn, this is about Dina and her needs. 95 00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,337 If she feels more comfortable with this doctor, 96 00:03:45,339 --> 00:03:47,003 then that's all that matters. 97 00:03:47,829 --> 00:03:51,531 Fine, we'll go with Doctor Stranger-we-just-met. 98 00:03:51,566 --> 00:03:53,767 Thank you, Jerusha. Also, for my comfort, 99 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,369 would you be able to go to my apartment 100 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,137 and get this camisole? 101 00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:58,772 It's silky, very sheer, 102 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,007 and also my make-up bag? 103 00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:02,542 - Sure, whatever you need. - Thanks. 104 00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:04,277 Oh, and honey, watch out for the bird. 105 00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:05,345 She has a falcon now. 106 00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:07,252 - Ah, will do. - Okay. 107 00:04:07,976 --> 00:04:10,570 - And grab a push-up bra! - Okay! 108 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:12,786 We parked this way. 109 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:15,789 Oh, my God! All right, yeah, awesome, great. 110 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:18,025 I've just gotta drop off my friend Steve at karate 111 00:04:18,059 --> 00:04:20,027 and I will be right there. Which hospital? 112 00:04:20,061 --> 00:04:23,163 Uh, Mercy Vale Medical Center, room... 113 00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:24,257 417. 114 00:04:24,733 --> 00:04:25,868 417. 115 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,692 Was that Jonah? 116 00:04:28,503 --> 00:04:32,873 Uh, um, yes? 117 00:04:32,907 --> 00:04:35,884 That... that is Jonah. He's here... 118 00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:38,645 and so is Glenn. 119 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:44,518 And Dina. The whole... the whole funky bunch is here. 120 00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:47,100 I gotta go, I'll see you soon. Okay, bye. 121 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:50,786 So Adam doesn't know about us? 122 00:04:50,997 --> 00:04:56,196 No, because I... I... I didn't want to tell him. 123 00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:58,498 Oh. Okay. 124 00:04:58,533 --> 00:05:01,368 I mean, not... not... not because we're doing something wrong. 125 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:03,570 It's just that, um... 126 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:05,872 Just didn't seem like that big of a deal. 127 00:05:05,907 --> 00:05:09,058 Oh, okay, well that makes me feel better. 128 00:05:11,452 --> 00:05:13,680 Okay, I'm having everybody sign two cards. 129 00:05:13,715 --> 00:05:16,349 One for Amy and the whole Glenn, Dina, Jerusha mess. 130 00:05:16,697 --> 00:05:18,531 I thought the butterflies was perfect for Amy because, 131 00:05:18,565 --> 00:05:20,366 you know, she's entering a new phase in her life 132 00:05:20,401 --> 00:05:24,337 and this one has balloons because, you know, Glenn. 133 00:05:24,371 --> 00:05:26,764 Little more information than I need, but... 134 00:05:29,404 --> 00:05:33,334 Thank you. "Happy 0th birthday." 135 00:05:34,424 --> 00:05:35,232 Cute. 136 00:05:37,073 --> 00:05:38,974 Wait, wait. Hold up. What's wrong with that? 137 00:05:39,086 --> 00:05:42,417 Oh, nothing. This is fine. It's funny. 138 00:05:42,566 --> 00:05:44,190 I mean, I wasn't, you know... 139 00:05:44,224 --> 00:05:45,691 I was just going off the top of my head. 140 00:05:45,726 --> 00:05:47,360 I wasn't trying to be, like, hilarious or anything. 141 00:05:47,394 --> 00:05:48,199 Okay. 142 00:05:49,396 --> 00:05:51,746 You know, I'm gonna take another look at it. 143 00:05:52,232 --> 00:05:54,700 Up to you. Just pass it along when you're done. 144 00:05:54,735 --> 00:05:56,602 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 145 00:06:01,575 --> 00:06:03,400 Yes. 146 00:06:03,402 --> 00:06:04,359 Nah. 147 00:06:05,179 --> 00:06:07,449 Hi, can I get the dad's insurance card? 148 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:10,116 - Oh, no, he's not the dad. - Oh, I'm sorry. 149 00:06:10,150 --> 00:06:13,586 Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't mean, "He's not the dad," 150 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:14,887 like I was having an affair 151 00:06:14,922 --> 00:06:16,222 and got knocked up by some rando. 152 00:06:16,256 --> 00:06:18,544 I just mean that the man I had sex with, 153 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,827 he is the father of this baby. 154 00:06:20,861 --> 00:06:21,742 I understand. 155 00:06:21,743 --> 00:06:23,729 I'm not a nurse but we take a class. 156 00:06:23,764 --> 00:06:26,755 The reason I'm asking is we don't accept your insurance. 157 00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:27,786 What? 158 00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:30,670 Oh, but her coworker's having a baby in the next room 159 00:06:30,704 --> 00:06:32,102 and you take their insurance. 160 00:06:32,103 --> 00:06:34,740 Well, looks like they're on a different plan. 161 00:06:34,775 --> 00:06:39,799 They have health shield bronze and what you have is different. 162 00:06:40,642 --> 00:06:42,510 And by different you mean...? 163 00:06:42,511 --> 00:06:44,081 Worse. It's worse. 164 00:06:44,082 --> 00:06:46,419 Of course. Corporate takes care of the managers 165 00:06:46,453 --> 00:06:47,727 and the rest of us get the scraps. 166 00:06:47,728 --> 00:06:49,638 Can we please not do all of that right now? 167 00:06:49,639 --> 00:06:51,277 So, you could pay out of pocket, 168 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,359 but the room is about two grand a night. 169 00:06:53,393 --> 00:06:54,061 Whoa. 170 00:06:54,062 --> 00:06:56,629 Or there's a clinic nearby that accepts your insurance. 171 00:06:56,663 --> 00:07:00,469 Okay, and the clinic is good, right? 172 00:07:01,368 --> 00:07:02,869 It's been there for years. 173 00:07:04,404 --> 00:07:06,189 That didn't answer my question. 174 00:07:07,957 --> 00:07:08,942 Oh, God. 175 00:07:13,504 --> 00:07:16,145 Can I finish complaining about healthcare inequality now? 176 00:07:16,146 --> 00:07:16,684 No. 177 00:07:21,613 --> 00:07:24,114 Can't believe my baby's going to be born in a hospital 178 00:07:24,148 --> 00:07:25,648 that looks like an escape room. 179 00:07:25,683 --> 00:07:30,144 I... I like it here. That other hospital was snobby. 180 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,106 This is, um... you know, this is down to Earth. 181 00:07:33,114 --> 00:07:35,716 It's connected to the community. It's diverse. 182 00:07:35,717 --> 00:07:37,717 I don't want diverse right now. 183 00:07:37,751 --> 00:07:39,285 I want to be in the hospital 184 00:07:39,319 --> 00:07:40,786 where only rich white people go. 185 00:07:40,821 --> 00:07:42,188 I want to feel deeply uncomfortable 186 00:07:42,222 --> 00:07:43,475 that I'm the only brown person there. 187 00:07:43,476 --> 00:07:46,092 We just have to make the best of it, okay? 188 00:07:46,126 --> 00:07:49,425 Honestly, you look around, it's kinda roomy once you... 189 00:07:49,426 --> 00:07:50,767 Oh, my God. 190 00:07:51,331 --> 00:07:54,267 Uh, hi, sorry. I'm Jonah. This... this is... 191 00:07:55,002 --> 00:07:58,001 Is she sleeping with her eyes open or... 192 00:07:59,591 --> 00:08:01,222 Yes, let's go with that. 193 00:08:02,342 --> 00:08:03,301 Ah. 194 00:08:03,977 --> 00:08:05,745 Hey Garrett, do you have the baby cards? 195 00:08:05,779 --> 00:08:07,102 I need to sign them. 196 00:08:07,103 --> 00:08:08,648 Yeah, I'm just putting the finishing touches on it. 197 00:08:08,682 --> 00:08:11,918 Oh, boy. Mr. Hilarious at work. 198 00:08:11,952 --> 00:08:12,868 What are you writing? 199 00:08:12,869 --> 00:08:16,389 Um, well, you are about to see. 200 00:08:16,390 --> 00:08:18,925 Ah, I love the creative process. 201 00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:21,270 I bet it's gonna be so funny. Here we go. 202 00:08:25,165 --> 00:08:27,851 I can't even imagine all the ideas in your head right now. 203 00:08:27,853 --> 00:08:29,375 I bet even the bad ones are genius. 204 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,837 Yup, uh-huh, but you know, I just need to concentrate. 205 00:08:31,872 --> 00:08:33,239 Okay, oh, boy. 206 00:08:33,273 --> 00:08:35,675 You are really cooking up something good. 207 00:08:35,709 --> 00:08:38,066 I can smell the creative juices. 208 00:08:38,067 --> 00:08:41,581 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. 209 00:08:42,149 --> 00:08:44,116 Your hours must be pretty crazy, huh? 210 00:08:44,151 --> 00:08:45,418 All those late night pages 211 00:08:45,452 --> 00:08:47,687 putting a real strain on the marriage. 212 00:08:47,721 --> 00:08:48,690 I'm not married. 213 00:08:48,691 --> 00:08:51,524 Oh, wow. Didn't realize we were getting so personal. 214 00:08:51,558 --> 00:08:54,168 I'm not married either, so, something in common. 215 00:08:57,231 --> 00:09:00,067 Well, I am married, but I wish I wasn't 216 00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:02,870 'cause then I could hit on this bodacious babe. 217 00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:05,654 Glenn, that hurts my feelings. 218 00:09:05,655 --> 00:09:07,607 Oh, no, it's for Dina. 219 00:09:07,641 --> 00:09:08,674 She really likes him. 220 00:09:08,709 --> 00:09:09,933 Oh. 221 00:09:10,978 --> 00:09:13,179 You know, I've never been with a woman before, 222 00:09:13,213 --> 00:09:16,215 but I would switch over for Dina. 223 00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:21,023 Well, not happening. I'm, uh... I'm very straight. 224 00:09:21,722 --> 00:09:23,222 I'm gonna check your cervix now. 225 00:09:23,257 --> 00:09:26,218 Oh, man am I jealous of you, buddy. 226 00:09:42,376 --> 00:09:44,641 This is a funny card. 227 00:09:45,178 --> 00:09:45,894 Huh? 228 00:09:45,969 --> 00:09:48,471 "Congrats on your new bundle of joy. 229 00:09:48,615 --> 00:09:51,851 If you'd like to name them after me, that's cool." 230 00:09:51,885 --> 00:09:53,082 Pretty funny, right? 231 00:09:53,404 --> 00:09:54,437 That card's blank. 232 00:09:54,521 --> 00:09:55,840 Just, is it funny or not? 233 00:09:56,351 --> 00:09:57,551 I guess it was cute. 234 00:09:57,758 --> 00:09:59,025 Cute. 235 00:09:59,059 --> 00:10:00,926 Are you still working on the cards? 236 00:10:00,961 --> 00:10:02,172 Just write anything. 237 00:10:02,173 --> 00:10:03,541 They're just going to throw it away anyway. 238 00:10:03,542 --> 00:10:05,528 No, I'm gonna sign the damn cards. 239 00:10:06,408 --> 00:10:07,788 Hey, do you guys sell 240 00:10:07,789 --> 00:10:10,064 interfaith wedding cards for dogs? 241 00:10:15,517 --> 00:10:16,620 That's a contraction, right? 242 00:10:16,622 --> 00:10:17,652 - Yep. - Okay. 243 00:10:17,653 --> 00:10:20,511 Just assume today that anytime I make this face 244 00:10:20,512 --> 00:10:22,014 and these noises it's a contraction. 245 00:10:22,049 --> 00:10:23,249 Yeah, got it. Got it. 246 00:10:23,283 --> 00:10:26,038 Where is the doctor? This is crazy. 247 00:10:26,039 --> 00:10:27,900 I'm gonna... I'm gonna page him. 248 00:10:28,488 --> 00:10:32,458 Oh. It just kinda fell into darkness. 249 00:10:32,492 --> 00:10:35,428 It's fine, it's fine, it's totally fine. 250 00:10:35,462 --> 00:10:38,598 Women have been birthing for thousands of years 251 00:10:38,599 --> 00:10:41,133 in all kinds of disgusting places. 252 00:10:41,168 --> 00:10:46,105 In the woods, in caves, with wolves and coyotes 253 00:10:46,139 --> 00:10:48,407 lurking to eat them and their young. 254 00:10:48,442 --> 00:10:51,433 I'm in a hospital; I at least have a blanket. 255 00:10:52,512 --> 00:10:54,192 And that is an old Band-Aid. 256 00:10:55,182 --> 00:10:56,677 Okay, that's... that's it. 257 00:10:56,678 --> 00:10:58,651 I'm gonna pay for the nice hospital. 258 00:10:59,131 --> 00:10:59,485 What? 259 00:10:59,486 --> 00:11:01,954 No, I can... I can afford it between what I have in my bank 260 00:11:01,988 --> 00:11:02,830 and my credit cards. 261 00:11:02,832 --> 00:11:04,167 No, I'm not gonna let you do that. 262 00:11:04,168 --> 00:11:05,141 Why? Why not? 263 00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:09,762 Because, that's just, like... We're not really at the... 264 00:11:09,796 --> 00:11:13,065 no, that's... it's weird. But thank you. 265 00:11:13,066 --> 00:11:15,835 Okay, all right, well that's one vote for no, 266 00:11:15,869 --> 00:11:17,970 one vote for yes, uh, 267 00:11:18,004 --> 00:11:20,709 why don't we have your roommate break the tie? 268 00:11:23,877 --> 00:11:26,445 Okay, let's go, but I'm paying you back. 269 00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:32,082 Oh, it's so clean and comfortable. 270 00:11:32,638 --> 00:11:36,737 And the air smells so good, and these pillows. 271 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,934 This is an unbelievable pillow. 272 00:11:39,284 --> 00:11:40,417 We should come back here. 273 00:11:40,452 --> 00:11:41,952 I'm glad you're happy. 274 00:11:41,987 --> 00:11:43,621 Hello, again. 275 00:11:43,655 --> 00:11:47,073 Hey, girl. So glad to be back. 276 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:50,294 Okay, and as far as the payment goes? 277 00:11:50,328 --> 00:11:53,063 Yes, um, Jonah? Pay the nice lady. 278 00:11:53,098 --> 00:11:56,767 Right, okay, so if you could put $500 on each of these cards 279 00:11:56,801 --> 00:11:59,336 and then I'll write you a check for the other $1,000. 280 00:11:59,337 --> 00:12:01,693 Okay, and how would you like to pay for the rest? 281 00:12:01,694 --> 00:12:04,141 The... you said it was $2,000? 282 00:12:04,175 --> 00:12:07,278 Yes, for the room, but then you have delivery doctor, 283 00:12:07,312 --> 00:12:08,812 lab fees, anesthesia. 284 00:12:09,174 --> 00:12:11,719 Altogether you're looking at about $20,000. 285 00:12:12,751 --> 00:12:15,131 For one baby? 286 00:12:15,132 --> 00:12:17,221 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, God. 287 00:12:17,255 --> 00:12:19,417 So, I'll let you two figure out 288 00:12:19,904 --> 00:12:22,953 what you want to do, although, well you know. 289 00:12:24,162 --> 00:12:26,596 Guess we're going back to the clinic. 290 00:12:31,036 --> 00:12:32,803 You're taking the pillow? 291 00:12:32,837 --> 00:12:35,866 You mean the pillow that I brought from home? 292 00:12:36,308 --> 00:12:38,303 Yeah, why wouldn't I? 293 00:12:38,777 --> 00:12:41,111 Okay, so we need to come up with one good message 294 00:12:41,146 --> 00:12:42,279 that's from all of us. 295 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,905 What's wrong with the ones that we already wrote? 296 00:12:43,906 --> 00:12:48,163 Uh, well, a lot of them were offensive. 297 00:12:48,164 --> 00:12:50,238 And I'm not gonna name any names, 298 00:12:50,245 --> 00:12:52,604 but it was Carol. 299 00:12:52,629 --> 00:12:53,346 What? 300 00:12:53,347 --> 00:12:55,092 I wrote, "Welcome to the world." 301 00:12:55,126 --> 00:12:56,927 Mm-hmm, yeah, the world 302 00:12:56,962 --> 00:12:59,991 that's full of violence and racism 303 00:12:59,992 --> 00:13:01,865 so, welcome to violence and racism. 304 00:13:01,866 --> 00:13:02,750 Nice, Carol. 305 00:13:02,751 --> 00:13:03,856 Nice job, Carol. 306 00:13:04,943 --> 00:13:07,171 You know I can fit 40 cherries in my mouth? 307 00:13:07,205 --> 00:13:09,506 Any more than that and I throw up. 308 00:13:09,541 --> 00:13:12,042 Okay, then don't do that. 309 00:13:12,841 --> 00:13:15,938 So, baby's fine. It's in a transverse position, though. 310 00:13:15,939 --> 00:13:17,648 It's sideways. I thought I could turn it 311 00:13:17,682 --> 00:13:19,380 but we're gonna have to do a C-section. 312 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,272 - Oh, goodness. - Oh. 313 00:13:20,273 --> 00:13:23,741 Surgery. Where you, uh, cut me open, huh? 314 00:13:23,742 --> 00:13:25,289 Uh, nope. Actually, this way. 315 00:13:25,323 --> 00:13:28,058 Oh. East/West situation. 316 00:13:28,093 --> 00:13:29,627 - That's correct. - Okay. 317 00:13:29,661 --> 00:13:32,363 I had an aunt who tore from her anus 318 00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:34,111 all the way up to the front. 319 00:13:34,629 --> 00:13:35,574 So... 320 00:13:39,438 --> 00:13:42,243 Oh, God. I should have just done this at home. 321 00:13:42,244 --> 00:13:44,408 My Aunt delivered her baby in her Jacuzzi 322 00:13:44,442 --> 00:13:45,725 and he turned out fine. 323 00:13:45,726 --> 00:13:48,418 No, actually he sucks. His parents are Jacuzzi people. 324 00:13:48,419 --> 00:13:50,442 Okay, just... just breathe. You're doing great. 325 00:13:50,443 --> 00:13:51,715 Ahhhhhh. 326 00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:53,384 That's right, just pick a point in the room 327 00:13:53,418 --> 00:13:55,148 and focus on it, okay? 328 00:13:55,149 --> 00:13:57,254 - Okay. - No, no, no. Not the corpse. 329 00:13:57,288 --> 00:13:58,422 Not the corpse. 330 00:13:58,456 --> 00:14:00,026 It's too late, I'm locked in. 331 00:14:00,027 --> 00:14:02,822 Hello, and how are we today? 332 00:14:02,823 --> 00:14:05,663 Ohhh, um, old? 333 00:14:05,697 --> 00:14:09,233 No, no, sorry. Uh, I'm fine. You're old. 334 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:11,001 Are you, uh, are you going to be 335 00:14:11,607 --> 00:14:13,893 the main doctor delivering the baby? 336 00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:16,295 Oh, no. That would be my father. 337 00:14:17,272 --> 00:14:20,944 - Just kidding. - Ha ha. Funny. 338 00:14:20,979 --> 00:14:23,501 Are you... are you, uh, looking for something? 339 00:14:24,252 --> 00:14:25,928 I don't remember. 340 00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:31,407 How about, "Best wishes from Cloud 9"? 341 00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:33,901 - No offense, but I hate that. - Yeah. 342 00:14:34,092 --> 00:14:37,561 What about, "Best wishes from your Cloud 9 family?" 343 00:14:37,595 --> 00:14:40,597 Um, family feels a little weird since a lot of us 344 00:14:40,632 --> 00:14:42,800 are banging each other. Guilty! 345 00:14:42,834 --> 00:14:44,401 I think we should write something funny. 346 00:14:44,436 --> 00:14:45,473 I mean, people like funny, right? 347 00:14:45,475 --> 00:14:48,042 Yeah, okay Earl. That sounds easier than it is. 348 00:14:48,043 --> 00:14:50,774 Uh, why don't we not embarrass ourselves by even trying. 349 00:14:50,816 --> 00:14:52,871 Yeah, but... 350 00:14:52,872 --> 00:14:55,385 I was thinking it could be funny, because, 351 00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:58,649 it's like so twisted. 352 00:14:58,683 --> 00:15:00,784 It makes you laugh, 'cause it's like, crazy. 353 00:15:00,819 --> 00:15:03,754 Right? 354 00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,825 Am I right or am I right? I'm right! 355 00:15:07,859 --> 00:15:09,493 He's right, you should do that. 356 00:15:09,527 --> 00:15:11,462 Do what? He didn't say anything. 357 00:15:16,835 --> 00:15:19,178 All right, on the next contraction 358 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,638 you're gonna push for three ten-counts. 359 00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:23,186 No, no, we can't start pushing. 360 00:15:23,187 --> 00:15:24,641 The father's not here yet. 361 00:15:24,676 --> 00:15:26,276 I thought it was this guy? 362 00:15:26,311 --> 00:15:27,105 N-no. 363 00:15:27,106 --> 00:15:31,010 Who are you? The gay best friend? I see a lot of that. 364 00:15:31,011 --> 00:15:34,485 No, no, no, I'm just... I'm actually, um, 365 00:15:34,912 --> 00:15:36,272 I actually, I don't know what I am. 366 00:15:36,274 --> 00:15:37,581 We haven't really talked about it. 367 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:40,131 I don't know, we're dating, maybe? 368 00:15:40,132 --> 00:15:42,597 Right, yeah. We'll see an occasional movie 369 00:15:42,599 --> 00:15:44,829 and then sometimes I'm there when she gives birth to a baby. 370 00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:46,911 Well, I don't know Jonah. What would you call it? 371 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:47,835 I don't know. 372 00:15:47,836 --> 00:15:50,544 What would happen if we just didn't do the surgery? 373 00:15:50,545 --> 00:15:53,245 And the baby will eventually work its way out like a splinter, right? 374 00:15:53,246 --> 00:15:55,066 I mean, life always finds a way. 375 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:58,387 Dina, you're gonna be fine. 376 00:15:58,716 --> 00:16:02,064 And we'll be right down the hall waiting for you when you're done. 377 00:16:02,065 --> 00:16:03,242 You're not gonna be in there? 378 00:16:03,243 --> 00:16:05,617 No, see, we're not doctors, 379 00:16:05,618 --> 00:16:08,011 so we don't go into the operating room. 380 00:16:08,012 --> 00:16:09,432 We go to the waiting room. 381 00:16:09,433 --> 00:16:12,024 Actually, the parents are usually in there for it. 382 00:16:12,943 --> 00:16:14,228 Okay, but, well, yeah, 383 00:16:14,229 --> 00:16:16,368 we'll probably just get in the way, so. 384 00:16:16,369 --> 00:16:19,476 Glenn, I think we should both be in there for Dina. 385 00:16:19,477 --> 00:16:21,703 Okay, I get really squeamish around blood. 386 00:16:21,704 --> 00:16:24,027 Maybe she doesn't have a lot of blood. 387 00:16:24,028 --> 00:16:25,035 Don't go. 388 00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,060 - O-okay. - Okay. 389 00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:33,405 Right, you must be Dina Fox. Hello, I'm Dr. Gillespie. 390 00:16:33,439 --> 00:16:35,194 I'll be administering the epidural. 391 00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:37,607 Damn, what is with this place? 392 00:16:37,608 --> 00:16:39,578 It's like "Grey's Anatomy" in here. 393 00:16:39,585 --> 00:16:41,040 - You ready? - Yeah. 394 00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:41,973 Let's go. 395 00:16:45,077 --> 00:16:47,041 I'd like to get up there by Dina. 396 00:16:47,043 --> 00:16:48,841 - Oh you're coming here? - Sir, I need to get in there. 397 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:52,149 Okay, I'll go this way. Oh, no. I'm trapped. 398 00:16:52,814 --> 00:16:54,968 Dina, everything's going to be okay. 399 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:55,775 Uh-huh. 400 00:16:55,817 --> 00:16:58,719 It's a real professional operation they've got going on here. 401 00:16:58,753 --> 00:17:02,856 There's computers and wires... the whole nine yards. 402 00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:05,025 Huh. Could you play my music? 403 00:17:05,529 --> 00:17:07,121 No problem. 404 00:17:10,732 --> 00:17:14,535 - Sorry, is this right? - Yeah, it's my favorite song. 405 00:17:18,973 --> 00:17:21,509 Okay. I'm ready. 406 00:17:22,773 --> 00:17:24,816 - Out. - Obviously it's not just about the sex. 407 00:17:24,817 --> 00:17:26,030 - One, two... - There are feelings there. 408 00:17:26,031 --> 00:17:28,315 - We can talk about this later. - Three! 409 00:17:28,425 --> 00:17:29,488 Maybe focus on this. 410 00:17:29,490 --> 00:17:30,922 I just think that there's a lot going on between him 411 00:17:30,956 --> 00:17:32,590 and the baby and it just seems like a lot of pressure. 412 00:17:32,624 --> 00:17:33,825 It's totally cool, and we can table this. 413 00:17:33,859 --> 00:17:34,724 Ten, and stop. 414 00:17:34,725 --> 00:17:37,516 - Stop talking or stop pushing? - Both. Jesus. 415 00:17:38,197 --> 00:17:39,238 All right, here we go. 416 00:17:39,239 --> 00:17:42,266 Oh, no. Uh, maybe we could turn her around. 417 00:17:42,301 --> 00:17:45,603 Turn her around. Oh, there's the blood. 418 00:17:45,637 --> 00:17:47,338 Okay, we are in it. 419 00:17:47,372 --> 00:17:48,165 I see the head. 420 00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:51,872 Oh, thank God. I have had the craziest day. 421 00:17:51,873 --> 00:17:53,631 I've had a pretty nutty day too. 422 00:17:53,632 --> 00:17:55,252 - Thanks for filling in. - Oh, yeah, sure. 423 00:17:55,253 --> 00:17:58,616 Um, guess this is yours. This? I'll get that. 424 00:17:58,650 --> 00:17:59,817 I'll just grab the other leg. 425 00:17:59,852 --> 00:18:00,785 Okay, thanks. 426 00:18:00,819 --> 00:18:03,487 Wow, there is so much blood. 427 00:18:03,522 --> 00:18:05,656 Should someone do something about that? 428 00:18:05,691 --> 00:18:07,881 Okay, I'm just gonna close my eyes. 429 00:18:08,727 --> 00:18:10,328 Nope. Still kinda seeing it. 430 00:18:12,042 --> 00:18:13,830 I'll pick them up. I'll pick them up. 431 00:18:13,899 --> 00:18:17,284 - One last push. - Let's do this! C'mon! 432 00:18:17,285 --> 00:18:19,205 - Mm. - Uh. Yeah. 433 00:18:19,206 --> 00:18:21,973 Huh? Huh? 434 00:18:22,007 --> 00:18:23,507 Team! 435 00:18:23,542 --> 00:18:27,172 Jerusha. I can see its little arms. 436 00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:28,846 It's so beautiful. 437 00:18:28,881 --> 00:18:30,648 Nope, these are just the intestines. 438 00:18:30,682 --> 00:18:33,150 - Oh. - Glenn, are you okay? 439 00:18:33,185 --> 00:18:36,487 Uh-huh. 440 00:18:36,521 --> 00:18:38,656 I... I didn't throw up. 441 00:18:38,690 --> 00:18:41,759 Nine, ten. 442 00:18:41,793 --> 00:18:43,861 It's a boy! Congratulations. 443 00:18:43,896 --> 00:18:47,531 And look at that. A healthy baby girl. 444 00:18:47,566 --> 00:18:49,957 - Congrats, everyone. - Thank God. 445 00:18:49,958 --> 00:18:52,503 Who's gonna cut the umbilical cord? 446 00:18:52,537 --> 00:18:54,739 You should probably do it. 447 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,503 Yeah, yeah. I was gonna. 448 00:18:57,042 --> 00:18:58,408 Dina, you did it. 449 00:18:58,648 --> 00:19:01,856 Jerusha, I'm so happy. 450 00:19:03,048 --> 00:19:04,248 Hi. 451 00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:06,550 Hi, little buddy. 452 00:19:06,585 --> 00:19:07,755 - Hi. - Good heavens! 453 00:19:07,756 --> 00:19:10,172 Did you know there's a dead body in here? 454 00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:13,367 Margaret! We got another damn body! 455 00:19:21,733 --> 00:19:24,535 I love you more than pot pies 456 00:19:24,569 --> 00:19:26,795 and Christmas 457 00:19:26,796 --> 00:19:29,607 and even little baby Jesus. 458 00:19:29,641 --> 00:19:31,591 Don't tell anybody. 459 00:19:32,417 --> 00:19:35,152 Dina, we can't thank you enough for giving us such 460 00:19:35,153 --> 00:19:36,747 an amazing gift. 461 00:19:36,782 --> 00:19:38,110 I didn't get you a gift. 462 00:19:38,617 --> 00:19:39,797 Oh, you mean the baby. 463 00:19:39,798 --> 00:19:41,901 Yeah, you paid me for that, so we're good. 464 00:19:41,943 --> 00:19:43,616 Yeah. Um... 465 00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,623 would it be okay if I had a moment alone with her? 466 00:19:45,657 --> 00:19:48,059 Oh, yeah, of course. 467 00:19:48,093 --> 00:19:50,841 Oh, no thank you. You can put it in its bin. 468 00:19:51,596 --> 00:19:53,798 You take all the time you need. 469 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,793 She's not gonna kidnap her, right? 470 00:19:57,836 --> 00:19:59,783 No, I locked all the windows. 471 00:20:02,231 --> 00:20:04,583 Well, this is it for you and me, kid. 472 00:20:05,177 --> 00:20:08,112 I hope I gave you a good start the past nine months. 473 00:20:09,473 --> 00:20:11,474 Now, if you ever need anything, 474 00:20:11,524 --> 00:20:13,207 you can always come to me. 475 00:20:13,785 --> 00:20:15,021 But not on Wednesdays or Fridays, 476 00:20:15,022 --> 00:20:16,734 because I have crew practice. 477 00:20:17,656 --> 00:20:19,512 All right, what else can I tell you? 478 00:20:20,058 --> 00:20:21,927 Never go camping on your period. 479 00:20:22,294 --> 00:20:24,386 If you ever find a pair of shoes you like, 480 00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:25,900 buy multiple pairs. 481 00:20:28,066 --> 00:20:29,321 You meet a man with a houseboat, 482 00:20:29,322 --> 00:20:30,523 walk the other way. 483 00:20:30,524 --> 00:20:32,068 That's an important one. 484 00:20:32,804 --> 00:20:34,300 Hey, little buddy. 485 00:20:34,973 --> 00:20:38,509 He's not as squishy and purple as Emma was. 486 00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:39,431 Mm-mm. 487 00:20:39,432 --> 00:20:41,490 She was so squishy. 488 00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:43,284 He's perfect. 489 00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:44,229 You're perfect. 490 00:20:45,195 --> 00:20:47,028 Oh, wow. Uh, look at the time. 491 00:20:47,029 --> 00:20:48,652 I... I completely lost track. 492 00:20:48,687 --> 00:20:50,109 I got a meeting... party. 493 00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:50,903 I got a party meeting. 494 00:20:50,904 --> 00:20:52,823 So, let you guys have some time. 495 00:20:52,858 --> 00:20:54,792 - Thanks. - Sure. 496 00:20:54,793 --> 00:20:56,538 Yeah. Thank you. 497 00:20:57,496 --> 00:20:58,721 You're welcome. 498 00:21:00,543 --> 00:21:02,444 Hi. Hi. 499 00:21:02,768 --> 00:21:04,369 Here's your [bleep] card. 500 00:21:06,845 --> 00:21:09,176 He's had a big day. But congratulations. 501 00:21:09,177 --> 00:21:10,373 Let's go! 502 00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:14,906 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com 36666

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