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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:10,977 --> 00:02:14,481 BY THE WAY, THAT'S ME, 6'1", 46-INCH CHEST, 2 00:02:14,481 --> 00:02:16,483 16-INCH BICEPS, 28-INCH WAIST. 3 00:02:16,483 --> 00:02:18,485 A VERITABLE GOD... 4 00:02:18,485 --> 00:02:18,985 I WISH. 5 00:02:20,987 --> 00:02:22,989 OKAY, THAT'S ME. 6 00:02:22,989 --> 00:02:25,992 MICHAEL NOVOTNY, THE SEMI-CUTE "BOY NEXT DOOR" TYPE. 7 00:02:25,992 --> 00:02:30,997 29, 5'10", 140, 9-1/2 CUT; ALL RIGHT, SO I EXAGGERATE, 8 00:02:30,997 --> 00:02:33,500 BUT LIKE, WHO'S TOLD THE TRUTH SINCE THEY INVENTED CYBERSEX? 9 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:36,200 [ ?????? ] 10 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,506 WHEN DID '70s NIGHT BECOME '80s NIGHT? 11 00:02:39,506 --> 00:02:41,508 I REMEMBER THIS SONG FROM HIGH SCHOOL. 12 00:02:41,508 --> 00:02:43,900 TALK ABOUT FEELING ANCIENT. 13 00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:45,512 SPEAK FOR YOUR- SELF, HONEY, I WAS A MERE CHILD. 14 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,150 Michael: [ Narrating ] THOSE ARE MY TWO BUDDIES, TED AND EMMETT. 15 00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:53,190 GIVE ME THOSE DIVAS OF DISCO ANY DAY. GLORIA GAYNOR. 16 00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:54,200 DONNA SUMMER. 17 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,522 AND MISS ALISHA BRIDGES. 18 00:02:55,522 --> 00:02:57,524 ?? I LOVE THE NIGHT LIFE ?? OH! 19 00:02:57,524 --> 00:02:59,250 All: ?? I LIKE TO BOOGIE ?? 20 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:00,527 ?? ON THE DISCO FLOOR ?? 21 00:03:01,270 --> 00:03:03,290 ?? AH-H-H-H ?? 22 00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:05,532 O-OH... MY GOD. 23 00:03:05,532 --> 00:03:07,330 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL? 24 00:03:07,534 --> 00:03:09,536 VENICE, AT SUNSET. 25 00:03:09,536 --> 00:03:11,538 FINE, YOU GO DOWN THE GRAND CANAL, 26 00:03:11,538 --> 00:03:13,390 I'LL GO DOWN ON HIM. 27 00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,410 O-OH-H-H! 28 00:03:15,410 --> 00:03:17,430 Michael: [ Narrating ] EMMETT CAN BE A LITTLE CAMPY. 29 00:03:17,544 --> 00:03:19,546 OKAY, A LOT CAMPY. BUT YOU GOT TO ADMIT, 30 00:03:19,546 --> 00:03:22,549 IT TAKES REAL GUTS TO BE A QUEEN IN A WORLD FULL OF COMMONERS. 31 00:03:22,549 --> 00:03:24,551 THE PROBLEM WITH PERFECTION 32 00:03:24,551 --> 00:03:26,520 IS ITS INABILITY TO RECOGNIZE 33 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,540 ANYTHING LESS PERFECT THAN ITSELF. 34 00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:29,556 IN OTHER WORDS, YOU HIT ON HIM 35 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,570 AND HE TURNED YOU DOWN. 36 00:03:31,570 --> 00:03:34,600 YEAH. 37 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,564 Michael: [ Narrating ] TED'S THIS REALLY SMART GUY AND HE'S GOT A REALLY BIG HEART. 38 00:03:37,564 --> 00:03:40,567 ONLY, NOBODY HERE IS INTERESTED IN THE SIZE OF THAT ORGAN. 39 00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:42,680 WHY AM I WASTING MY TIME 40 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,700 STARING AT A BUNCH OF OVER-PUMPED PRINCESSES 41 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,573 WITH IQs SMALLER THAN THEIR WAIST... 42 00:03:46,573 --> 00:03:48,575 JESUS, LOOK AT HIM. 43 00:03:48,575 --> 00:03:50,577 Michael: [ Narrating ] LIKE I SAID, IT'S ALL ABOUT SEX. 44 00:03:50,577 --> 00:03:52,579 EXCEPT WHEN YOU'RE HAVING IT. 45 00:03:52,579 --> 00:03:55,810 AND THEN IT'S ALL ABOUT, "WILL HE STAY?" "WILL HE GO?" 46 00:03:55,810 --> 00:03:57,830 "HOW AM I DOING?" "WHAT AM I DOING?" 47 00:03:58,840 --> 00:03:59,586 UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU'RE... 48 00:03:59,586 --> 00:04:00,587 BRIAN KINNEY. 49 00:04:02,589 --> 00:04:05,910 AND THEN IT'S, "WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK? 50 00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:07,594 YOU'RE LUCKY TO HAVE ME." 51 00:04:08,940 --> 00:04:11,598 [ ?????? ] 52 00:04:17,103 --> 00:04:20,106 I'LL GET BRIAN. 53 00:04:20,607 --> 00:04:32,619 [ ?????? ] 54 00:04:32,619 --> 00:04:35,622 Two men: [ Moans of passion ] 55 00:04:47,634 --> 00:04:49,636 HEY, TODD, HOW'S IT GOING? FINE. 56 00:04:49,636 --> 00:04:54,641 [ ?????? ] 57 00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:56,142 WE NEED TO GO. 58 00:04:56,142 --> 00:04:58,144 WE WANT TO EAT. 59 00:04:58,144 --> 00:04:59,646 I'M JUST GOING TO GIVE HIM MY NUMBER. 60 00:04:59,646 --> 00:05:01,147 WHAT'D YOU DO, WRITE IT ON YOUR DICK? 61 00:05:01,147 --> 00:05:04,150 HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE? 62 00:05:06,653 --> 00:05:09,155 10 MINUTES, TOPS. 63 00:05:09,155 --> 00:05:11,157 [ Sigh ] 64 00:05:11,658 --> 00:05:13,660 [ Mixed chatter/ laughter ] 65 00:05:21,167 --> 00:05:22,669 HMM, BRUNO. 66 00:05:22,669 --> 00:05:25,171 LO-OVE YOUR OUTFIT. 67 00:05:25,171 --> 00:05:27,173 NOT EVERYONE CAN WEAR TANGERINE. 68 00:05:29,175 --> 00:05:31,177 HOW LONG ARE WE GOING TO WAIT? I'VE GOT TO WORK IN THE MORNING. 69 00:05:31,177 --> 00:05:32,679 WHO DOESN'T? HE SAID HE'D BE RIGHT OUT. 70 00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:34,180 YEAH, WE'VE ALL HEARD THAT BEFORE. 71 00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:35,682 THIS IS SOME GREAT SYSTEM HE'S GOT. 72 00:05:36,182 --> 00:05:38,184 HE GETS TO PARTY ALL NIGHT AND YOU DRIVE HIM HOME. 73 00:05:38,685 --> 00:05:40,687 IT'S NO BIG DEAL, OKAY? 74 00:05:40,687 --> 00:05:42,689 HMM. DON'T LOOK NOW BUT, UH, 75 00:05:42,689 --> 00:05:44,190 SOMEBODY'S WATCHING. 76 00:05:47,694 --> 00:05:50,196 OH, HIM. HE HAS BEEN CRUISING ME ALL NIGHT. 77 00:05:50,697 --> 00:05:52,198 HMM, PLAYING HARD TO GET. 78 00:05:52,198 --> 00:05:53,199 I LOVE THAT IN A MAN. 79 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,202 NOT PLAYING, JUST NOT INTERESTED. 80 00:05:57,203 --> 00:05:58,204 CHECK OUT THAT BUBBLE BUTT. 81 00:05:58,204 --> 00:05:59,706 AND THAT BASKET. 82 00:06:00,206 --> 00:06:01,708 ENOUGH IN THERE FOR THE BIG, BAD WOLF. 83 00:06:01,708 --> 00:06:04,210 WOULD YOU QUIT STARING? 84 00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:06,212 THERE'S MORE TO A GUY THAN HIS COCK SIZE. 85 00:06:06,212 --> 00:06:07,714 HMM. 86 00:06:08,214 --> 00:06:10,216 Man: LOOK AT THAT! 87 00:06:10,216 --> 00:06:13,219 OR HIS PERFECTLY SHAPED ASS. 88 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,221 WHICH IS WHY YOU READ ALL THOSE COMIC BOOKS 89 00:06:15,722 --> 00:06:17,724 WITH THOSE SUPER- HEROES IN THEIR LITTLE TIGHTS... 90 00:06:18,224 --> 00:06:19,225 FOR THE PLOT. 91 00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:21,227 I TOLD YOU, I AM NOT INTERESTED. 92 00:06:21,227 --> 00:06:22,228 MAYBE JUST FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD BE. 93 00:06:22,729 --> 00:06:23,730 SHOW A CERTAIN SOMEONE 94 00:06:23,730 --> 00:06:25,732 HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SCORE. 95 00:06:27,734 --> 00:06:44,250 [ ?????? ] 96 00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:47,253 ?? I'VE GOT A DEEPER LOVE DEEPER LOVE ?? 97 00:06:47,253 --> 00:06:50,757 ?? I'VE GOT A DEEPER LOVE DEEP DEEPER LOVE ?? 98 00:06:50,757 --> 00:06:55,261 ?? I'VE GOT A DEEPER LOVE DEEP DEEPER LOVE ?? 99 00:06:55,261 --> 00:06:57,764 ?? I'VE GOT A DEEPER LOVE DEEP DEEPER LOVE ?? 100 00:06:57,764 --> 00:07:03,269 [ ?????? ] 101 00:07:03,269 --> 00:07:04,771 'SCUSE ME. 102 00:07:04,771 --> 00:07:06,773 UH, COULD YOU TELL ME, LIKE, 103 00:07:06,773 --> 00:07:08,274 WHERE'S A GOOD PLACE TO GO? 104 00:07:08,775 --> 00:07:11,277 DEPENDS WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. 105 00:07:12,278 --> 00:07:14,280 YOU WANT TWINKIES, GO TO BOYTOY. 106 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,282 YOU WANT LEATHER, GO TO THE MEATHOOK. 107 00:07:16,282 --> 00:07:17,784 IF YOU WANT SNOTTY, CONCEITED ASSHOLES 108 00:07:18,284 --> 00:07:21,287 WHO THINK THEY'RE BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE, TRY PISTOL. 109 00:07:21,287 --> 00:07:23,289 IT'S KIND OF LATE TO BE OUT, THOUGH, ISN'T IT? 110 00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:25,792 ESPECIALLY ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. 111 00:07:25,792 --> 00:07:27,293 WHY DON'T YOU COME HOME WITH ME, HMM? 112 00:07:27,293 --> 00:07:29,295 NO THANKS. HUH! 113 00:07:29,295 --> 00:07:31,297 GO ON HOME TO YOUR MOMMY. 114 00:07:31,297 --> 00:07:34,300 GO ON. 115 00:07:41,307 --> 00:07:43,810 [ Mixed chatter ] 116 00:07:45,812 --> 00:07:47,814 THAT WAS QUICK. 117 00:07:47,814 --> 00:07:50,316 WELL, WHEN YOU'VE HAD AS MUCH PRAC- TICE AS HE'S HAD... 118 00:07:51,317 --> 00:07:52,819 I GOT BORED. 119 00:07:52,819 --> 00:07:55,822 I KNOW. GETTING YOUR DICK SUCKED CAN BESOTEDIOUS. 120 00:07:55,822 --> 00:07:57,323 WELL, HE LOOKED PRETTY HOT TO ME. 121 00:07:57,323 --> 00:07:58,825 Brian: ANYBODY WOULD LOOK HOT TO YOU. 122 00:08:00,326 --> 00:08:16,342 [ ?????? ] 123 00:08:16,342 --> 00:08:18,845 Michael: [ Narrating ] AND THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED. 124 00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:20,847 WHENHECAME ALONG. 125 00:08:22,348 --> 00:08:26,853 [ ?????? ] 126 00:08:26,853 --> 00:08:29,355 HOW'S IT GOING? 127 00:08:29,355 --> 00:08:30,356 HAD A BUSY NIGHT? 128 00:08:31,858 --> 00:08:34,360 JUST, UH, CHECK- ING OUT THE BARS, YOU KNOW? 129 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,363 BOYTOY, MEATHOOK. 130 00:08:37,363 --> 00:08:39,365 THE MEATHOOK. REALLY? 131 00:08:39,365 --> 00:08:41,868 SO YOU'RE INTO LEATHER? 132 00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:43,870 SURE. 133 00:08:45,872 --> 00:08:47,874 WHERE YOU HEADED? 134 00:08:47,874 --> 00:08:50,877 NO PLACE SPECIAL. 135 00:08:50,877 --> 00:08:52,378 I CAN CHANGE THAT. 136 00:08:53,379 --> 00:08:54,881 HEY! 137 00:08:54,881 --> 00:08:56,382 HEY! WHAT ABOUT US? 138 00:08:56,382 --> 00:08:57,884 YOU CAN RIDE WITH TED. 139 00:08:57,884 --> 00:08:59,886 THANKS A LOT. ASSHOLE! 140 00:09:02,388 --> 00:09:06,392 WELL, IF IT ISN'T MISS RIDING HOOD AND HER BIG BASKET. 141 00:09:06,392 --> 00:09:08,895 Michael: FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO STALK, I'M NOT INTERESTED. 142 00:09:10,396 --> 00:09:12,899 GO HOME. 143 00:09:20,406 --> 00:09:21,407 COMING IN? 144 00:09:21,407 --> 00:09:25,411 HUH? OH, YEAH. 145 00:09:25,912 --> 00:09:27,914 SHUT THE DOOR. 146 00:09:51,938 --> 00:09:54,941 THIS IS A... REALLY NICE PLACE. 147 00:10:05,451 --> 00:10:07,954 I LIKE YOUR KITCHEN. 148 00:10:07,954 --> 00:10:10,456 DO YOU LIKE SPECIAL K? 149 00:10:11,457 --> 00:10:13,960 IT'S OKAY. I LIKE CHEERIOS BETTER. 150 00:10:15,962 --> 00:10:18,965 I DON'T MEAN THE KIND YOU EAT WITH BANANAS. 151 00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:21,467 MY DISCO-PHARMACOLOGIST COOKS THIS UP FOR ME. 152 00:10:23,469 --> 00:10:25,972 I'M REALLY ALLERGIC TO A LOT OF DRUGS. 153 00:10:25,972 --> 00:10:27,473 THE DOCTOR GAVE ME PENICILLIN ONCE, 154 00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:28,975 NEARLY KILLED ME. 155 00:10:28,975 --> 00:10:30,476 AND... 156 00:10:30,476 --> 00:10:31,978 TYLENOL. TYLENOL? 157 00:10:32,478 --> 00:10:35,481 NO ONE'S ALLERGIC TO TYLENOL. TYLENOL'S WHAT THEY GIVE YOU 158 00:10:35,481 --> 00:10:37,483 WHEN YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO EVERYTHING ELSE. 159 00:10:37,483 --> 00:10:39,485 OH. 160 00:10:39,485 --> 00:10:42,488 WELL, UH, CODEINE. CODEINE'S THE WORST. 161 00:10:42,989 --> 00:10:43,990 LIKE, I GET DIARRHEA 162 00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:46,492 AND START VOMITING UNCONTROLLABLY AT THE SAME TIME. 163 00:10:46,492 --> 00:10:49,495 WELL, WE'LL MAKE SURE AND KEEP THAT ONE ON THE TOP SHELF. 164 00:10:49,495 --> 00:10:51,497 OUT OF REACH. 165 00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,505 SO, ARE YOU COMING OR GOING? 166 00:10:59,505 --> 00:11:01,507 ?? BOY ?? 167 00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:03,509 OR COMING AND THEN GOING? 168 00:11:04,510 --> 00:11:06,512 OR COMING AND STAYING? 169 00:11:06,512 --> 00:11:08,140 ?? BOY ?? 170 00:11:08,514 --> 00:11:14,520 [ ?????? ] 171 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:26,320 ?? MAN ?? ?? MAN ?? 172 00:11:26,532 --> 00:11:28,340 ?? BOY ?? ?? BOY ?? 173 00:11:28,340 --> 00:11:30,360 ?? MAN ?? ?? MAN ?? 174 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,380 ?? TOY ?? ?? BOY ?? 175 00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:33,390 ?? MAN ?? ?? MAN ?? 176 00:11:33,539 --> 00:11:35,410 ?? BOY ?? ?? BOY ?? 177 00:11:35,410 --> 00:11:37,430 ?? MAN ?? ?? MAN ?? 178 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,545 ?? TOY ?? ?? BOY ?? 179 00:11:42,548 --> 00:11:44,550 ?? TURN AROUND ?? 180 00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:48,540 ? ?? STAND UP LIKE A MAN AND LOOK ME IN THE EYE ? 181 00:11:48,554 --> 00:11:50,560 ?? TURN AROUND ?? 182 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,580 ?? TAKE ONE FINAL LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE LEFT BEHIND ?? 183 00:11:52,558 --> 00:11:55,610 [ Gasp ] ?? THEN WALK AWAY ?? 184 00:11:55,610 --> 00:11:58,564 ?? FROM THE GREATEST LOVER YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN ?? 185 00:11:58,564 --> 00:12:01,670 ?? YES WALK AWAY ?? 186 00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:03,569 ?? YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN ?? 187 00:12:03,569 --> 00:12:06,720 ?? BY YOURSELF ALL ALONE WITHOUT MY HELP ?? 188 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,750 ?? MISTER, YOU JUST MADE A BIG MISTAKE ?? 189 00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:12,578 ?? YOU THINK YOU'RE A MAN BUT YOU'RE ONLY A BOY ?? 190 00:12:12,578 --> 00:12:16,582 ?? YOU THINK YOU'RE A MAN, YOU ARE ONLY A TOY ?? 191 00:12:17,830 --> 00:12:20,860 ?? YOU THINK YOU'RE A MAN BUT YOU JUST COULDN'T SEE... ?? 192 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:25,910 THANK YOU FOR THE LIFT. 193 00:12:25,591 --> 00:12:27,930 SEE YA. BYE. 194 00:12:36,102 --> 00:12:38,104 Emmett: OH MY GOD, LOOK. 195 00:12:38,104 --> 00:12:40,106 HE MUST HAVE FOLLOWED US. 196 00:12:40,106 --> 00:12:42,108 CHRIST, THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEED. 197 00:12:42,108 --> 00:12:44,610 Emmett: HONEY, IT'S WHAT WE ALL NEED. 198 00:12:45,111 --> 00:12:47,613 HEY! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT LAID? 199 00:12:47,613 --> 00:12:48,614 MY POINT EXACTLY. 200 00:12:49,115 --> 00:12:51,117 IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER, THEN IT'S TIME. 201 00:12:51,617 --> 00:12:53,119 NOW, WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS? 202 00:12:53,619 --> 00:12:55,121 GO, UH, GO INVITE THE GENTLEMAN IN 203 00:12:55,121 --> 00:12:57,123 WHILE I MAKE SURE NONE OF MY FINE WASHABLES 204 00:12:57,123 --> 00:12:59,625 ARE HANGING IN THE TUB. 205 00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:18,644 [ Breathing Heavily ] 206 00:13:21,147 --> 00:13:22,148 [ Moaning ] 207 00:13:24,150 --> 00:13:26,152 DON'T COME YET. 208 00:13:26,152 --> 00:13:29,155 HAH, I'LL TRY. 209 00:13:29,155 --> 00:13:31,657 [ Panting ] 210 00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:33,159 STOP. 211 00:13:35,161 --> 00:13:37,163 [ Sighing ] 212 00:13:38,164 --> 00:13:40,666 SO, WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO? 213 00:13:40,666 --> 00:13:41,667 DO? 214 00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:44,670 I DON'T KNOW. 215 00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:47,673 WATCH TV, PLAY TOMB RAIDER. 216 00:13:47,673 --> 00:13:50,176 [ Chuckling ] I MEAN IN BED. 217 00:13:50,176 --> 00:13:51,677 OH. 218 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:55,181 THIS IS FINE. 219 00:13:56,682 --> 00:14:00,186 ARE YOU A TOP OR A BOTTOM? 220 00:14:02,688 --> 00:14:06,192 TOP... AND BOTTOM. 221 00:14:06,192 --> 00:14:08,194 OH, YOU'RE VERSATILE, THEN. 222 00:14:08,194 --> 00:14:09,695 AND AMBIDEXTROUS... 223 00:14:09,695 --> 00:14:11,697 WHICH WAS REALLY CONFUSING AT FIRST 224 00:14:11,697 --> 00:14:14,200 'CAUSE I COULD NEVER FIGURE OUT WHICH HAND TO THROW WITH. 225 00:14:15,701 --> 00:14:17,203 DO YOU LIKE TO RIM? 226 00:14:17,203 --> 00:14:20,206 SURE. I LOVE IT. 227 00:14:20,206 --> 00:14:22,208 GREAT. 228 00:14:23,209 --> 00:14:25,711 GO TO IT. 229 00:14:26,712 --> 00:14:28,214 WELL? 230 00:14:28,214 --> 00:14:31,217 UM, WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN? 231 00:14:32,218 --> 00:14:34,220 [ Ringing of telephone ] 232 00:14:35,721 --> 00:14:37,223 YEAH? 233 00:14:37,223 --> 00:14:39,725 WHAT? 234 00:14:39,725 --> 00:14:40,226 [ Gasping ] 235 00:14:40,726 --> 00:14:41,727 WHEN? 236 00:14:41,727 --> 00:14:44,230 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 237 00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:47,233 NO, OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT KIDDING ME. WHEN DID IT HAPPEN? 238 00:14:47,233 --> 00:14:49,735 WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? 239 00:14:49,735 --> 00:14:52,238 WELL, OF COURSE I WAS OUT. 240 00:14:52,238 --> 00:14:54,740 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 241 00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:56,242 [ Gasp of climax ] SHIT! 242 00:14:56,242 --> 00:14:58,244 JESUS CHRIST! I TOLD YOU NOT TO. 243 00:14:58,744 --> 00:15:00,246 I TRIED. I'M SORRY. 244 00:15:00,246 --> 00:15:01,747 ALL OVER MY NEW DUVET. I TRIED. 245 00:15:01,747 --> 00:15:04,250 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 246 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,252 IT'LL WASH OUT, WON'T IT? 247 00:15:06,252 --> 00:15:08,254 I MEAN, YOU SHOULD SEE MY SHEETS AT HOME. 248 00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:10,756 JUST SOME KID. WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN? 249 00:15:10,756 --> 00:15:13,259 JUSTIN. JUSTIN. 250 00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:15,761 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 251 00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:24,270 OOH, DON'T MIND ME. 252 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:25,771 JUST, UH, CAN'T SLEEP 253 00:15:25,771 --> 00:15:27,773 WITHOUT MY MILK AND OREOS. 254 00:15:27,773 --> 00:15:29,775 THAT'S MY FRIEND EMMETT. HE'S STAYING WITH ME TEMPORARILY 255 00:15:29,775 --> 00:15:31,777 SINCE THE HOOKER WHO LIVED DOWN THE HALL FROM HIM 256 00:15:31,777 --> 00:15:34,780 BURNED HIS APART- MENT BUILDING DOWN TWO YEARS AGO. 257 00:15:35,281 --> 00:15:37,783 TWO YEARS IS A LONG TIME TO BE TEMPORARY. 258 00:15:37,783 --> 00:15:40,286 AND YET IT HASN'T INTERFERED WITH MY LOVE LIFE. 259 00:15:40,286 --> 00:15:43,289 WHICH, I SUPPOSE, SAYS A LOT ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE. 260 00:15:43,289 --> 00:15:46,792 DO YOU MIND IF WE SKIP THE BACK STORY AND CUT TO THE CHASE? 261 00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:48,294 IT'S ALMOST 2:00 IN THE MORNING. 262 00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:55,301 YOU HAVE A GREAT ASS. 263 00:15:56,302 --> 00:15:57,803 OH YEAH? 264 00:16:00,306 --> 00:16:02,308 SO DO YOU, IT'S REALLY... 265 00:16:08,314 --> 00:16:10,316 FIRM. 266 00:16:10,316 --> 00:16:11,817 IT'S CALLED "THE BUTT". 267 00:16:11,817 --> 00:16:13,319 I GOT IT IN A CATALOGUE. 268 00:16:13,319 --> 00:16:14,320 [ Ringing of telephone ] 269 00:16:19,325 --> 00:16:20,826 PARTS DEPARTMENT. 270 00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:22,828 MELANIE CALLED. IT'S HAPPENED. 271 00:16:22,828 --> 00:16:24,330 WHAT? OH MY GOD! WHEN? 272 00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:26,332 Brian: [ On telephone ] I don't know, I had my damn cell phone off. 273 00:16:26,332 --> 00:16:27,833 I'M PICKING YOU UP IN TWO MINUTES. 274 00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:31,837 NOW? I... KIND OF GOT MY HANDS FULL. 275 00:16:32,838 --> 00:16:34,840 "THE BULGE". 276 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,842 YOU ORDER BOTH, YOU GET A DISCOUNT. 277 00:16:37,343 --> 00:16:38,344 WHO'S THAT? 278 00:16:38,344 --> 00:16:39,345 UH, NO ONE. 279 00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:41,847 MIKEY, YOU'VE GOT SOMEONE THERE WITH YOU. 280 00:16:41,847 --> 00:16:43,849 I can't believe it. 281 00:16:43,849 --> 00:16:44,850 YOU SHOULD ONLY BE HERE. 282 00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:46,352 Forget about it, don't let me bother you. 283 00:16:46,352 --> 00:16:48,354 FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. 284 00:16:48,354 --> 00:16:49,855 NO, WAIT. PICK ME UP. I-I'M READY. 285 00:16:49,855 --> 00:16:50,856 NOW. 286 00:16:52,858 --> 00:16:54,360 WE GOING TO DO THIS OR NOT? 287 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,862 I AM REALLY, REALLY SORRY. 288 00:16:56,862 --> 00:16:58,364 UM, A FRIEND OF MINE NEEDS ME. 289 00:16:58,864 --> 00:16:59,865 IT'S AN EMERGENCY. 290 00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:02,368 SHIT. AFTER ALL THAT? I KNOW. 291 00:17:02,368 --> 00:17:03,369 I PROMISE WE'LL RESCHEDULE. 292 00:17:03,369 --> 00:17:04,870 NO "IFS", "ANDS" OR... 293 00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:10,876 WHAT'S GOING ON? EVERYTHING. 294 00:17:11,377 --> 00:17:12,878 COME ON, GET UP. YOU GOTTA GO. 295 00:17:12,878 --> 00:17:14,380 WHERE? HOME. 296 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,382 I CAN'T GO HOME NOW. MY... 297 00:17:16,382 --> 00:17:17,383 MY PARENTS THINK I'M STAYING AT A FRIEND'S. 298 00:17:17,383 --> 00:17:18,884 YOU LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS? 299 00:17:18,884 --> 00:17:20,386 WELL, I'M STILL IN SCHOOL. 300 00:17:20,386 --> 00:17:22,388 I MEAN, COLLEGE. 301 00:17:22,888 --> 00:17:24,890 WHAT YEAR ARE YOU IN? JUNIOR. 302 00:17:24,890 --> 00:17:27,893 SOPHOMORE. BETWEEN MY JUNIOR AND SOPHOMORE YEAR. 303 00:17:27,893 --> 00:17:28,894 HOW OLD ARE YOU? 304 00:17:29,395 --> 00:17:30,396 21. 305 00:17:32,398 --> 00:17:33,899 WHAT YEAR WERE YOU BORN? 306 00:17:33,899 --> 00:17:36,402 1979. 307 00:17:36,402 --> 00:17:38,404 BULLSHIT. YOU HAD TO THINK BEFORE YOU ANSWERED THAT. 308 00:17:38,404 --> 00:17:39,905 HOW OLD ARE YOU REALLY? 309 00:17:40,906 --> 00:17:43,909 20. 310 00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:47,913 19. 311 00:17:49,415 --> 00:17:50,416 18. 312 00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:53,419 WELL WHAT IS THIS, A MISSILE LAUNCH? 313 00:17:53,419 --> 00:17:53,919 17. 314 00:17:53,919 --> 00:17:55,421 [ Sigh ] 315 00:17:55,421 --> 00:17:58,424 WHAT IS WITH KIDS TODAY? 316 00:17:58,424 --> 00:18:00,926 WE JUST WANT TO GET LAID LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. 317 00:18:01,427 --> 00:18:03,429 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN WITH ANYONE BEFORE? 318 00:18:03,429 --> 00:18:05,431 SURE. 319 00:18:05,431 --> 00:18:07,933 WELL, NOT EXACTLY. 320 00:18:09,435 --> 00:18:10,936 THIS IS SORT OF MY FIRST. 321 00:18:12,438 --> 00:18:14,440 I FIGURED. 322 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,941 KIND OF YOUNG, AREN'T YOU? 323 00:18:17,943 --> 00:18:20,446 WELL, I WAS 14 MY FIRST TIME. 324 00:18:20,446 --> 00:18:21,447 THAT'S REALLY YOUNG. 325 00:18:21,447 --> 00:18:22,448 WITH MY GYM TEACHER. 326 00:18:22,448 --> 00:18:24,950 I BET HE WAS SOME OLD PERV. 327 00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:27,953 THAT OLD PERV WAS PROBABLY THE SAME AGE THAT I AM NOW. 328 00:18:29,955 --> 00:18:31,457 IT WAS AFTER SCHOOL IN THE LOCKER ROOMS. 329 00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:34,460 HE WAS TAKING A SHOWER. 330 00:18:34,460 --> 00:18:35,961 I WENT BACK FOR SOMETHING. 331 00:18:36,462 --> 00:18:38,464 A BOOK, MY JOCKSTRAP, 332 00:18:38,964 --> 00:18:39,965 I DON'T REMEMBER. 333 00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:44,970 ANYWAY, THERE HE WAS ALL NAKED SOAPING HIMSELF. 334 00:18:44,970 --> 00:18:46,972 HE SAW ME THERE, 335 00:18:46,972 --> 00:18:48,974 A BIG BONER UNDER MY CHINOS. 336 00:18:51,977 --> 00:18:53,979 SHIT. I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE SHOWERS 337 00:18:53,979 --> 00:18:55,481 WITH ALL MY CLOTHES ON. 338 00:18:55,481 --> 00:18:56,482 [ Snort ] NO. 339 00:18:56,482 --> 00:18:57,983 GOT DOWN ON MY KNEES 340 00:18:57,983 --> 00:18:59,485 AND SUCKED HIM OFF RIGHT THERE. 341 00:18:59,485 --> 00:19:00,986 HE LET YOU? 342 00:19:00,986 --> 00:19:02,488 LET ME? 343 00:19:03,989 --> 00:19:04,990 HE LOVED IT. 344 00:19:05,991 --> 00:19:07,993 I BET YOU WERE SCARED. 345 00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:11,497 WELL, I GUESS WE'RE ALL A LITTLE SCARED OUR FIRST TIME. 346 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,505 BUT I DON'T REMEMBER ANY MORE. 347 00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:26,512 [ Honking of car horn ] 348 00:19:26,512 --> 00:19:28,514 [ Squealing of tires ] 349 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:35,521 YOU BROUGHT HIM? 350 00:19:36,210 --> 00:19:37,523 HE'S GOT NO- WHERE TO GO. 351 00:19:37,523 --> 00:19:39,240 GET IN. 352 00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:41,527 Michael: JEEZ! 353 00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:54,540 [ ?????? ] 354 00:20:06,552 --> 00:20:08,554 OH, MY GOD. 355 00:20:08,554 --> 00:20:10,550 SAY HELLO TO YOUR SON. 356 00:20:10,550 --> 00:20:13,580 [ Cooing of baby ] 357 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,600 WELL, GO ON. 358 00:20:22,568 --> 00:20:24,690 WHEN DID IT START? 359 00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:26,710 AROUND 7:00. 360 00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:28,574 SIX HOURS LATER, THERE HE WAS. 361 00:20:28,574 --> 00:20:30,576 OH, I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN HERE. 362 00:20:30,576 --> 00:20:32,578 HOW OFTEN DO I GET TO SEE SNATCH? 363 00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:36,810 LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU. 364 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,585 I GUESS HE MUST BE MINE THEN. 365 00:20:39,585 --> 00:20:42,870 WANT TO HOLD HIM? 366 00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:45,591 OKAY, CAREFUL. DON'T DROP HIM. 367 00:20:45,591 --> 00:20:48,594 THAT'S JUST WHAT I WAS PLANNING ON DOING. 368 00:20:48,594 --> 00:20:51,960 [ Crying of baby ] 369 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:52,598 WE'VE BEEN THINKING OF NAMES. 370 00:20:52,598 --> 00:20:55,100 MEL WANTS TO CALL HIM ABRAHAM AFTER HER GRANDFATHER, 371 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:57,603 BUT I LIKE GUS. 372 00:21:00,606 --> 00:21:02,107 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 373 00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:08,614 YOU WOULDN'T SURVIVE A DAY AT SCHOOL BEING NAMED ABRAHAM. 374 00:21:08,614 --> 00:21:10,115 BUT I GUESS GUS IS OKAY. 375 00:21:10,115 --> 00:21:13,118 HAH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? 376 00:21:13,118 --> 00:21:14,119 HIS NAME'S J... 377 00:21:15,621 --> 00:21:17,623 JUSTIN. 378 00:21:17,623 --> 00:21:19,625 YOU WERE ON THE PHONE WHEN HE SHOT HIS LOAD ALL OVER ME. 379 00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:22,628 [ Groans of disgust ] 380 00:21:23,128 --> 00:21:23,629 OH, BRIAN! 381 00:21:24,129 --> 00:21:25,631 Brian: HE CAN'T HELP IT. 382 00:21:25,631 --> 00:21:27,633 HE'S ONLY 17. 383 00:21:27,633 --> 00:21:30,636 SO, YOU AND LINDSAY EACH HAD AN INFANT TONIGHT. 384 00:21:30,636 --> 00:21:33,138 YEAH, BUT MINE DOESN'T SUCK ON MY TITS. 385 00:21:33,138 --> 00:21:35,641 NOT UNLESS I WANT HIM TO. 386 00:21:36,642 --> 00:21:39,645 "GUS". IT'S A GOOD BUTCH NAME. 387 00:21:40,145 --> 00:21:41,647 COME ON, GUS, 388 00:21:41,647 --> 00:21:44,149 GIVE YOUR DADDY A SMILE. 389 00:21:44,149 --> 00:21:45,651 [ Clicking of camera ] 390 00:21:45,651 --> 00:21:47,653 [ Crying of baby ] 391 00:21:57,162 --> 00:21:59,665 Michael: IT'S DISGUSTING, ALL THOSE LESBIANS 392 00:21:59,665 --> 00:22:02,167 FAWNING OVER HIM AND MAKING GOO-GOO TALK. 393 00:22:02,167 --> 00:22:04,670 THAT'S WHAT WOMEN DO OVER BABIES. 394 00:22:07,172 --> 00:22:09,675 WHO'S TALKING ABOUT THE BABY? I MEAN JUSTIN. 395 00:22:14,179 --> 00:22:16,682 IT'S KIND OF WEIRD, YOU HAVING A KID. 396 00:22:18,183 --> 00:22:20,686 STILL, IT'S EXCITING, ISN'T IT? 397 00:22:20,686 --> 00:22:24,690 WHAT? HAVING SOME WRINKLED LITTLE TIME- CLOCK TICKING AWAY? 398 00:22:24,690 --> 00:22:27,192 REMINDING YOU THAT YOU'RE GETTING OLDER BY THE MINUTE. 399 00:22:27,192 --> 00:22:29,194 BY THE SECOND? 400 00:22:29,194 --> 00:22:32,197 KEEP THINKING LIKE THAT YOU'RE GOING TO END UP PREMATURELY GRE-EY. 401 00:22:32,197 --> 00:22:34,700 OH, I THINK I SEE ONE. 402 00:22:34,700 --> 00:22:36,702 OW! 403 00:22:40,706 --> 00:22:42,708 WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY TRY AND STOP ME? 404 00:22:42,708 --> 00:22:44,710 HELLO? SOMEBODY DID. 405 00:22:44,710 --> 00:22:46,712 BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN. YOU HAD TO LET LINDSAY 406 00:22:46,712 --> 00:22:48,714 FILL YOUR HEAD WITH ALL HER BULLSHIT FLATTERY. 407 00:22:48,714 --> 00:22:51,216 "OH, BRIAN, YOU'RE SO GOOD LOOKING. 408 00:22:51,216 --> 00:22:54,720 OH, OH, BRIAN, Y-Y-YOU'RE SO SMART. 409 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,221 OH, OH, YOU'VE GOT SUCH GREAT GENES, BRIAN, 410 00:22:56,221 --> 00:22:57,222 AND I DON'T MEAN YOUR 501s." 411 00:23:00,726 --> 00:23:03,729 AND NOW YOU'RE STUCK WITH A KID. 412 00:23:03,729 --> 00:23:05,230 FOR LIFE. 413 00:23:10,736 --> 00:23:13,238 WELL THERE IS ALWAYS ONE SOLUTION. 414 00:23:20,245 --> 00:23:22,247 I COULD END IT ALL RIGHT NOW. 415 00:23:22,247 --> 00:23:24,750 OH, THAT'D BE DRAMATIC. 416 00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:28,253 JUST LIKE "ER", BIRTH AND DEATH IN THE SAME EPISODE. 417 00:23:28,253 --> 00:23:30,756 NOW GET DOWN! 418 00:23:30,756 --> 00:23:32,257 WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO COME GET ME... 419 00:23:32,257 --> 00:23:34,259 I'M SERIOUS. STOP CLOWNING. 420 00:23:34,259 --> 00:23:35,260 OR I'LL JUMP! 421 00:23:35,260 --> 00:23:38,764 ?? I CAN FEEL MY SOUL ASCENDING ?? 422 00:23:38,764 --> 00:23:41,266 ?? I'M ON MY WAY ?? 423 00:23:41,266 --> 00:23:43,769 ?? CAN'T STOP ME NOW ?? 424 00:23:43,769 --> 00:23:45,771 ?? AND YOU CAN DO THE SAME ?? 425 00:23:45,771 --> 00:23:48,273 ?? YEAH ?? 426 00:23:48,273 --> 00:23:50,275 ?? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY ?? 427 00:23:50,776 --> 00:23:54,279 ?? TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD ?? 428 00:23:54,780 --> 00:23:58,784 ?? IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO TRY... ?? 429 00:23:58,784 --> 00:24:01,787 COME ON, MIKEY, LET'S FLY. 430 00:24:01,787 --> 00:24:03,789 LIKE IN ALL THOSE COMIC BOOKS. 431 00:24:08,293 --> 00:24:10,295 I'M SUPERMAN. 432 00:24:11,797 --> 00:24:13,298 I'LL SHOW YOU THE WORLD. 433 00:24:13,799 --> 00:24:16,301 WHY AM I ALWAYS LOIS LANE? 434 00:24:16,301 --> 00:24:18,804 ?? ?? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY 435 00:24:18,804 --> 00:24:21,306 ?? TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD ?? 436 00:24:21,306 --> 00:24:32,317 [ ?????? ] 437 00:24:32,317 --> 00:24:35,320 ?? STILL SO MANY ANSWERS ?? 438 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:36,321 ?? I DON'T KNOW... ?? 439 00:24:36,822 --> 00:24:38,323 CONGRATULATIONS... 440 00:24:40,826 --> 00:24:42,327 DAD. 441 00:24:42,327 --> 00:24:44,830 ?? ...REALIZE THAT TO QUESTION ?? 442 00:24:44,830 --> 00:24:48,333 ?? IS HOW WE GROW ?? 443 00:24:48,333 --> 00:24:50,836 ?? TO QUESTION IS TO GROW ?? 444 00:24:50,836 --> 00:24:55,841 ?? SO I STEP OUT OF THE ORDINARY ?? 445 00:24:55,841 --> 00:24:58,343 ?? I CAN FEEL MY SOUL ASCENDING ?? 446 00:24:59,845 --> 00:25:01,847 SORRY. 447 00:25:03,849 --> 00:25:05,350 HONESTLY. 448 00:25:05,350 --> 00:25:06,852 FUCKED HIM. 449 00:25:06,852 --> 00:25:08,353 YOU DID NOT, YOU LOOKED AT HIM. 450 00:25:08,353 --> 00:25:09,354 THAT MAY APPEAR TO BE WHAT HAPPENED, 451 00:25:09,354 --> 00:25:10,856 BUT WE DID IT ALL. 452 00:25:10,856 --> 00:25:12,858 OH YEAH, AND HOW WAS HE? 453 00:25:12,858 --> 00:25:14,359 FABULOUS. 454 00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:15,861 WANT ONE? NO. 455 00:25:15,861 --> 00:25:17,362 MORE FOR ME. 456 00:25:19,364 --> 00:25:21,366 LISTEN, YOU'RE GOING TO GO SAY GOODNIGHT TO LINDSAY, 457 00:25:21,366 --> 00:25:23,869 YOU'RE GOING TO GO HOME, GO TO BED 458 00:25:23,869 --> 00:25:28,373 AND GET UP AND GO TO WORK FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS TO SUPPORT YOUR KID. 459 00:25:28,373 --> 00:25:29,875 Woman: YOU SEE THIS LINE, HOW DEEP IT IS? 460 00:25:29,875 --> 00:25:31,877 THAT MEANS YOU'RE VERY CREATIVE. 461 00:25:31,877 --> 00:25:34,379 THAT'S TRUE. I WANT TO BE A CARTOONIST OR A COMPUTER ANIMATOR. 462 00:25:34,379 --> 00:25:37,382 IT'S FAR TOO LESBIANIC OUT HERE FOR A YOUNG BOY. 463 00:25:37,382 --> 00:25:38,884 OUT. 464 00:25:38,884 --> 00:25:40,886 I'LL MEET YOU OUT FRONT. 465 00:25:44,890 --> 00:25:46,892 Nurse: I'M SORRY, SIR, YOU'LL HAVE TO COME BACK TOMORROW. 466 00:25:46,892 --> 00:25:48,393 THE MOTHER NEEDS HER REST. 467 00:25:48,393 --> 00:25:49,394 AND SO DOES THE FATHER. 468 00:25:49,394 --> 00:25:51,396 IT'S OKAY, NURSE. 469 00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:57,402 SWEET DREAMS, SONNY BOY. 470 00:25:57,402 --> 00:25:59,905 FIRST NIGHT ON EARTH. 471 00:26:01,406 --> 00:26:02,908 HON, COULD YOU GET ME SOME ICE 472 00:26:02,908 --> 00:26:04,409 AND MAYBE SOME- THING FIZZY? 473 00:26:04,409 --> 00:26:06,411 HOW ABOUT SOME GINGER ALE? 474 00:26:12,417 --> 00:26:13,919 UH, ANYTHING FOR YOU? 475 00:26:13,919 --> 00:26:16,421 UH, IF YOU SEE ANY AMYL NITRATE LAYING AROUND. 476 00:26:24,429 --> 00:26:25,931 ALONE AT LAST. 477 00:26:25,931 --> 00:26:27,432 CAREFUL. 478 00:26:29,434 --> 00:26:32,437 WELL, HERE WE ARE. 479 00:26:33,939 --> 00:26:36,441 MA AND PA. 480 00:26:36,441 --> 00:26:37,943 [ Crying ] 481 00:26:37,943 --> 00:26:39,444 HEY. 482 00:26:42,447 --> 00:26:44,950 DON'T MIND ME, 483 00:26:45,450 --> 00:26:48,453 JUST FEELING A LITTLE... VULNERABLE. 484 00:26:51,456 --> 00:26:54,960 [ Laughing ] 485 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,462 I PROMISE NOT TO TELL. 486 00:26:57,462 --> 00:26:59,464 WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT? 487 00:26:59,464 --> 00:27:00,966 YOU AND ME. 488 00:27:00,966 --> 00:27:03,468 PARENTS. 489 00:27:04,469 --> 00:27:06,972 IT'S PRETTY SCARY, BOYS AND GIRLS. 490 00:27:08,473 --> 00:27:10,475 THINK IT'S TOO LATE TO RETURN IT? 491 00:27:10,475 --> 00:27:12,477 WE COULD TRY. 492 00:27:13,478 --> 00:27:16,481 OHH. 493 00:27:16,481 --> 00:27:19,484 I GUESS THIS MEANS WE'RE FINALLY GROWN-UPS. 494 00:27:19,484 --> 00:27:20,986 "DON'T SAY THAT, WENDY, 495 00:27:20,986 --> 00:27:21,987 WE'LL NEVER GROW UP." 496 00:27:22,487 --> 00:27:24,489 DON'T BE SCARED. 497 00:27:24,489 --> 00:27:26,992 HELL, IF OUR PARENTS COULD FUCK UP, SO CAN WE. 498 00:27:30,495 --> 00:27:31,997 [ Sighing ] 499 00:27:31,997 --> 00:27:33,498 I DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY. 500 00:27:33,498 --> 00:27:35,500 ABOUT MONEY, I MEAN. 501 00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:36,501 IF YOU NEED ANYTHING... 502 00:27:36,501 --> 00:27:39,504 NO, WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT. 503 00:27:39,504 --> 00:27:41,600 BUT THANKS. 504 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:48,513 I WOULD'VE FUCKED YOU, YOU KNOW? 505 00:27:48,513 --> 00:27:50,515 OH! 506 00:27:50,515 --> 00:27:53,180 IF I WASN'T AFRAID YOUR LOVER'D BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME. 507 00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:54,190 STOP. 508 00:27:54,519 --> 00:27:55,520 I MEAN IT. 509 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,522 SHE COULD TAKE OUT OSCAR DE LA RENTA. 510 00:27:57,522 --> 00:28:00,525 YOU MEAN LA HOYA. 511 00:28:00,525 --> 00:28:01,526 WHATEVER. 512 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,530 WELL, YOU HAD PLENTY OF CHANCES. 513 00:28:06,531 --> 00:28:09,340 AND I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF A FEW, IF I RECALL. 514 00:28:09,340 --> 00:28:11,360 IT WASN'T HALF BAD. 515 00:28:12,370 --> 00:28:14,539 NOW YOU TELL ME? 516 00:28:14,539 --> 00:28:17,420 YOU MEAN I COULD HAVE BEEN STRAIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME? 517 00:28:18,430 --> 00:28:20,450 I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. 518 00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:23,548 WELL THEN I GUESS IT'S JUST AS WELL. 519 00:28:32,570 --> 00:28:33,558 ICE? 520 00:28:36,610 --> 00:28:38,630 TICK-TICK-TICK. 521 00:28:38,630 --> 00:28:40,650 TICK. 522 00:28:40,565 --> 00:28:42,670 TICK. TICK. 523 00:28:42,670 --> 00:28:44,690 TICK. 524 00:28:44,690 --> 00:28:45,700 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 525 00:28:47,572 --> 00:28:49,740 I'M JUST REPEATING THE FIRST WORDS 526 00:28:49,740 --> 00:28:50,750 MY SONNY BOY SAID TO ME. 527 00:28:50,575 --> 00:28:52,577 IT WASN'T "DA-DA". 528 00:28:52,577 --> 00:28:54,579 IT WAS TICK- TICK-TICK-TICK. 529 00:28:56,810 --> 00:28:58,830 SMART LITTLE FUCKER. 530 00:29:00,850 --> 00:29:02,870 HE CAN TELL TIME ALREADY. 531 00:29:02,870 --> 00:29:03,588 BRIAN, WHAT DID YOU TAKE? 532 00:29:05,900 --> 00:29:09,940 ?? A-B-C-D-E-E-E ?? 533 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,990 I'M JUST TEACHING MY KID THE ALPHABET. 534 00:29:14,990 --> 00:29:16,101 ?? EXHALE SLOWLY ?? 535 00:29:16,101 --> 00:29:18,103 I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU. 536 00:29:18,103 --> 00:29:22,607 I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU ALL NIGHT. 537 00:29:24,609 --> 00:29:27,612 [ Panting ] 538 00:29:33,118 --> 00:29:35,120 [ Screeching of tires ] 539 00:29:36,621 --> 00:29:37,622 SHIT! 540 00:29:37,622 --> 00:29:40,125 SORRY, I DIDN'T WANT TO HIT THAT DOGGIE. 541 00:29:40,125 --> 00:29:41,626 FUCK THE DOGGIE. 542 00:29:41,626 --> 00:29:43,128 OKAY, BOY WONDER. 543 00:29:43,628 --> 00:29:45,130 I'M TAKING YOU HOME. WHERE DO I TURN? 544 00:29:45,130 --> 00:29:46,131 HE'S GOING WITH ME. 545 00:29:46,131 --> 00:29:47,632 OH NO, HE'S NOT. 546 00:29:47,632 --> 00:29:49,634 POP QUIZ. NO TALKING. 547 00:29:49,634 --> 00:29:52,137 HERE'S A QUESTION. MULTIPLE CHOICE. 548 00:29:52,137 --> 00:29:53,138 DO YOU WANT TO COME HOME WITH ME? 549 00:29:53,638 --> 00:29:55,140 A: YES, 550 00:29:55,140 --> 00:29:57,142 B: YES, 551 00:29:57,142 --> 00:29:59,644 OR C: YES. 552 00:29:59,644 --> 00:30:02,147 TICK, TICK, TICK. TIME'S UP. PENCILS DOWN. 553 00:30:02,147 --> 00:30:03,648 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 554 00:30:04,149 --> 00:30:05,650 NONE OF THE ABOVE. 555 00:30:05,650 --> 00:30:06,651 HE'S GOING HOME. 556 00:30:06,651 --> 00:30:08,653 I'M GOING WITH HIM. 557 00:30:10,655 --> 00:30:13,158 GOOD BOY. 558 00:30:13,158 --> 00:30:15,660 YOU GET AN "A" PLUS. 559 00:30:26,671 --> 00:30:28,673 [ Panting ] 560 00:30:32,677 --> 00:30:35,180 [ Gasping ] 561 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,183 NOW YOU KNOW WHAT RIMMING IS. 562 00:30:41,186 --> 00:30:43,188 HE CALLS ME, PRACTICALLY BEGS ME TO GO WITH HIM, 563 00:30:43,688 --> 00:30:45,190 KNOWING FULL WELL I'M WITH SOMEONE 564 00:30:45,190 --> 00:30:47,192 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG. 565 00:30:47,192 --> 00:30:50,195 SEVEN MONTHS, TWO WEEKS AND THREE DAYS. 566 00:30:50,195 --> 00:30:51,696 THANK YOU. 567 00:30:51,696 --> 00:30:53,698 AND EVEN THOUGH THE GUY WASN'T ALL HE WAS CRACKED UP TO BE... 568 00:30:53,698 --> 00:30:55,700 WE'LL LET THAT REMARK PASS. 569 00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:57,702 AT LEAST HE WANTEDME. 570 00:30:57,702 --> 00:31:00,205 ME. 571 00:31:02,207 --> 00:31:04,209 GOD, I AM SO HORNY. 572 00:31:05,210 --> 00:31:07,212 POOR BABY. 573 00:31:07,212 --> 00:31:08,713 WELL I HAVE JUST THE THING. 574 00:31:08,713 --> 00:31:10,715 A NEW PORN VIDEO. 575 00:31:11,216 --> 00:31:14,719 IT ALL TAKES PLACE IN A PRISONER-OF-WAR CAMP. 576 00:31:14,719 --> 00:31:18,223 "HOT, HORNY MEN STARVED FOR ACTION". 577 00:31:18,223 --> 00:31:19,724 I CAN RELATE TO THAT. 578 00:31:19,724 --> 00:31:22,727 GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOUR PRIVATES STAND UP AND SALUTE. 579 00:31:22,727 --> 00:31:23,728 "SCHINDLER'S FIST"? 580 00:31:24,229 --> 00:31:25,730 AH-H-H. 581 00:31:25,730 --> 00:31:28,733 HERE, I WILL LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE. 582 00:31:28,733 --> 00:31:31,736 I'M SURE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A DEEP, MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP. 583 00:31:31,736 --> 00:31:33,738 GOOD NIGHT. 584 00:31:38,743 --> 00:31:41,746 Drill Sergeant: [ On TV ] OKAY, PRIVATE, DROP TROU AND BEND OVER. 585 00:31:41,746 --> 00:31:43,248 Private: [ On TV ] FOR MY PHYSICAL, SIR? 586 00:31:43,248 --> 00:31:45,250 Drill Sergeant: NO, TARGET PRACTICE. 587 00:31:45,250 --> 00:31:46,251 Private: YES, SIR. 588 00:31:46,251 --> 00:31:47,252 Drill Sergeant: [ Lewd chuckle ] 589 00:31:47,752 --> 00:31:49,754 Brian: PUT YOUR LEGS UP 590 00:31:49,754 --> 00:31:51,756 ON MY SHOULDERS. 591 00:31:51,756 --> 00:31:52,757 [ Panting ] 592 00:31:52,757 --> 00:31:54,759 THAT'S IT. 593 00:31:56,261 --> 00:31:57,762 OH, WAIT. 594 00:31:57,762 --> 00:31:59,764 IN SCHOOL WE HAD THIS LECTURE... 595 00:31:59,764 --> 00:32:01,766 ABOUT SAFE SEX. 596 00:32:03,268 --> 00:32:06,271 AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A DEMONSTRATION. 597 00:32:11,776 --> 00:32:13,778 PUT IT ON ME. 598 00:32:14,279 --> 00:32:16,281 GO ON. 599 00:32:16,281 --> 00:32:17,782 SLIP IT ON MY DICK. 600 00:32:27,792 --> 00:32:30,795 AH! IT'S COLD. 601 00:32:30,795 --> 00:32:33,298 IT'LL HEAT UP. 602 00:32:34,299 --> 00:32:35,800 JUST... 603 00:32:36,301 --> 00:32:37,802 GO SLOW, OKAY? 604 00:32:45,810 --> 00:32:47,312 [ Gasp of pain ] 605 00:32:47,312 --> 00:32:50,315 AH! AH! 606 00:32:50,315 --> 00:32:50,815 [ Panting ] 607 00:32:50,815 --> 00:32:52,317 IT HURTS. 608 00:32:52,317 --> 00:32:53,818 DOES IT ALWAYS HURT? 609 00:32:53,818 --> 00:32:56,821 A LITTLE BIT. 610 00:32:57,322 --> 00:32:58,823 BUT THAT'S A PART OF IT. 611 00:33:00,325 --> 00:33:02,827 [ Exhaling ] 612 00:33:02,827 --> 00:33:04,329 NOW RELAX. 613 00:33:07,332 --> 00:33:09,834 I WANT YOU TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS. 614 00:33:11,836 --> 00:33:14,339 SO THAT NO MATTER WHO YOU'RE EVER WITH... 615 00:33:17,842 --> 00:33:19,844 I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE. 616 00:33:19,844 --> 00:33:48,873 [ ?????? ] 617 00:33:49,374 --> 00:33:51,876 [ Groaning ] 618 00:34:07,892 --> 00:34:10,395 [ Beeping of alarm clock ] 619 00:34:20,905 --> 00:34:23,408 [ Heavy sigh ] 620 00:34:40,925 --> 00:34:44,429 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? 621 00:34:44,929 --> 00:34:46,431 Y-YOU SAID I COULD STAY. 622 00:34:48,933 --> 00:34:49,934 RIGHT. 623 00:34:50,435 --> 00:34:51,936 YOUR PARENTS. 624 00:34:51,936 --> 00:34:54,439 THEY THINK YOU'RE AT A FRIEND'S. 625 00:35:01,446 --> 00:35:03,948 JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? 626 00:35:05,950 --> 00:35:06,951 [ Laughing ] 627 00:35:07,452 --> 00:35:09,454 DON'T TELL ME. 628 00:35:09,454 --> 00:35:10,955 I WAS DOING HANDSTANDS. 629 00:35:10,955 --> 00:35:12,457 AND JUGGLING. 630 00:35:12,957 --> 00:35:14,459 YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD. 631 00:35:14,959 --> 00:35:16,461 SHIT. 632 00:35:16,461 --> 00:35:18,463 WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS? 633 00:35:19,964 --> 00:35:21,466 I'LL TELL YOU WHY. 634 00:35:21,466 --> 00:35:24,469 IT WAS THAT FUCKING PIG ANITA. 635 00:35:24,469 --> 00:35:26,471 SHE TOLD ME THAT WAS "E". THAT WASN'T "E", 636 00:35:26,971 --> 00:35:30,475 THAT WAS SOME SHIT THEY COOKED UP IN A BATHTUB IN TIJUANA. 637 00:35:30,475 --> 00:35:31,976 THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER TAKE DRUGS 638 00:35:31,976 --> 00:35:33,478 THAT AREN'T PRESCRIBED BY A PHYSICIAN, 639 00:35:33,978 --> 00:35:35,480 OR RECOMMENDED BY A RELIABLE PHARMACIST. 640 00:35:38,483 --> 00:35:40,485 [ Chuckle of disbelief ] 641 00:35:40,485 --> 00:35:41,486 WHAT ARE YOU? 642 00:35:41,986 --> 00:35:42,987 A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT? 643 00:35:45,990 --> 00:35:47,992 GET DRESSED, I'LL DRIVE YOU HOME. 644 00:35:47,992 --> 00:35:49,994 YOU CAN'T. 645 00:35:51,496 --> 00:35:53,998 MICHAEL HAS THE CAR. WHY HAS HE GOT IT? 646 00:35:53,998 --> 00:35:55,500 YOU WERE TOO HIGH... I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. 647 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,200 I WAS THERE. 648 00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,400 I REMEMBER EVERYTHING... 649 00:36:01,506 --> 00:36:02,507 PERFECTLY. 650 00:36:05,900 --> 00:36:06,511 WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN? 651 00:36:06,511 --> 00:36:08,120 JUSTIN. 652 00:36:10,140 --> 00:36:13,170 YEAH, RIGHT. 653 00:36:13,170 --> 00:36:14,519 [ Sighing ] 654 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:16,521 CAN I TAKE A SHOWER? 655 00:36:16,521 --> 00:36:18,220 YEAH, BUT HURRY UP. 656 00:36:18,220 --> 00:36:21,250 IT'S THROUGH THERE... 657 00:36:22,260 --> 00:36:24,280 I THINK. 658 00:36:33,538 --> 00:36:35,540 [ Beeping of answering machine ] 659 00:36:35,540 --> 00:36:38,420 Melanie: [ On machine ] Where the hell are you? Your cell's turned off. 660 00:36:38,420 --> 00:36:39,544 If you're there, pick up. 661 00:36:39,544 --> 00:36:41,546 Brian? Listen, Lindsay's water broke. 662 00:36:41,546 --> 00:36:43,548 She's having contractions. We're at the hospital. 663 00:36:47,510 --> 00:36:50,540 FUCK! I HAVE A BABY. 664 00:36:50,540 --> 00:36:51,556 [ Water running ] 665 00:36:51,556 --> 00:36:54,580 Justin: OW! OW! 666 00:36:54,580 --> 00:36:56,600 TWO BABIES. 667 00:36:58,563 --> 00:37:00,565 [ Blaring of car alarm ] [ Banging of metal ] 668 00:37:00,565 --> 00:37:03,670 [ Smashing of glass ] 669 00:37:08,573 --> 00:37:10,740 HOLY SHIT! 670 00:37:10,740 --> 00:37:12,577 [ Hissing of aerosol spray ] 671 00:37:12,577 --> 00:37:14,780 YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THERE! 672 00:37:14,780 --> 00:37:15,790 FAGGOT! 673 00:37:15,790 --> 00:37:16,800 QUEER! 674 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:17,582 FAGGOT! 675 00:37:17,582 --> 00:37:19,830 WHO'RE YOU CALLING A FAGGOT? 676 00:37:19,830 --> 00:37:20,585 WE'VE SEEN YOU. QUEER! 677 00:37:38,603 --> 00:37:40,104 MORNING. 678 00:37:40,605 --> 00:37:42,607 OH, MY LORD. 679 00:37:42,607 --> 00:37:43,608 MOTHERFUCKERS! 680 00:37:43,608 --> 00:37:45,610 I'M CALLING THE COPS. 681 00:37:45,610 --> 00:37:47,612 BRIAN IS GOING TO HAVE A FIT, 682 00:37:47,612 --> 00:37:50,114 YOU KNOW HOW HE FEELS ABOUT HIS JEEP. 683 00:37:50,114 --> 00:37:51,616 WELL IF HE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT IT 684 00:37:51,616 --> 00:37:53,618 THEN HE SHOULDN'T HAVE LENT IT TO ME. 685 00:37:53,618 --> 00:37:56,120 HE KNOWS WHAT A TERRIBLE NEIGH- BOURHOOD THIS IS. 686 00:37:56,621 --> 00:37:58,623 WELL, I, UH, I WAS GOING TO ASK FOR A LIFT TO WORK. 687 00:37:58,623 --> 00:38:01,125 BUT ON SECOND THOUGHT, I THINK I'LL WALK. 688 00:38:01,125 --> 00:38:02,627 HAVE A NICE DAY. 689 00:38:04,128 --> 00:38:06,130 SHIT! 690 00:38:14,138 --> 00:38:16,140 [ Splashing of shower ] 691 00:38:30,655 --> 00:38:33,157 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I HAD A KID? 692 00:38:33,157 --> 00:38:35,660 YOU SAID YOU REMEMBERED EVERYTHING. 693 00:38:35,660 --> 00:38:38,663 [ Sighing ] IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST. 694 00:38:38,663 --> 00:38:40,164 WHAT'S HIS NAME AGAIN? 695 00:38:40,164 --> 00:38:42,166 GUS. 696 00:38:42,166 --> 00:38:43,668 I'M THE ONE WHO DECIDED. 697 00:38:46,671 --> 00:38:48,172 DID YOU ACTUALLY FUCK HER? 698 00:38:48,172 --> 00:38:50,174 WHO? LINDSAY. 699 00:38:50,174 --> 00:38:51,676 YOU'RE AWFULLY RUDE. 700 00:38:51,676 --> 00:38:53,678 WELL, DID YOU? 701 00:38:54,178 --> 00:38:55,680 I JERKED OFF IN A CUP, 702 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,682 AND THEY SQUIRTED IT UP HER. 703 00:38:57,682 --> 00:38:58,683 GROSS. 704 00:38:58,683 --> 00:39:00,685 SHE MUST HAVE REALLY WANTED A KID. 705 00:39:00,685 --> 00:39:03,187 MOST WOMEN DO. 706 00:39:03,187 --> 00:39:05,189 EVEN LESBIANS? 707 00:39:05,189 --> 00:39:08,192 LESBIANS ARE WOMEN... 708 00:39:08,192 --> 00:39:10,695 SORT OF. 709 00:39:10,695 --> 00:39:14,198 MY MOM SAYS SOMETIMES SHE WISHED SHE NEVER HAD ME. 710 00:39:14,198 --> 00:39:18,703 THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE'S STUCK WITH THIS ANNOYING BRAT FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE. 711 00:39:22,206 --> 00:39:24,709 SO, YOU GONNA RAISE HIM? 712 00:39:25,209 --> 00:39:26,711 [ Laughs ] ME? 713 00:39:27,211 --> 00:39:29,213 NO WAY. 714 00:39:29,213 --> 00:39:30,715 THE MUNCHERS ARE. 715 00:39:31,215 --> 00:39:32,717 BUT I'LL BE AROUND 716 00:39:32,717 --> 00:39:34,719 TO PROVIDE THE MASCULINE INFLUENCE 717 00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:38,222 SO IMPORTANT IN A YOUNG BOY'S LIFE. 718 00:39:38,222 --> 00:39:39,724 I'LL BET MELANIE COULD DO IT BETTER THAN YOU. 719 00:39:39,724 --> 00:39:43,227 DON'T GET SMART, OR I'LL HAVE TO SPANK YOU. 720 00:39:43,227 --> 00:39:44,228 REALLY? 721 00:39:57,742 --> 00:39:59,243 YOU UP FOR ONE MORE? 722 00:40:11,756 --> 00:40:13,758 [ Screeching of tires ] BRIAN! 723 00:40:14,759 --> 00:40:26,771 [ ?????? ] 724 00:40:26,771 --> 00:40:30,274 CHRIST. DIDN'T YOU GET ENOUGH LAST NIGHT? 725 00:40:32,777 --> 00:40:36,280 THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ENOUGH. 726 00:40:37,281 --> 00:40:39,283 BESIDES... 727 00:40:39,283 --> 00:40:43,287 I COULDN'T SEND HIM OFF WITHOUT A NOURISHING HIGH-PROTEIN BREAKFAST. 728 00:40:43,287 --> 00:40:46,290 IT'S GRRR-REAT! 729 00:40:50,294 --> 00:40:53,297 WILL YOU COME ON? I'M NOT GONNA BE LATE BECAUSE OF YOU. 730 00:41:06,310 --> 00:41:08,312 I SAID HURRY UP! 731 00:41:13,818 --> 00:41:17,822 YEAH. SHE SAID, "DON'T BE LATE." 732 00:41:20,324 --> 00:41:24,328 OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL, MIKEY. JUST BEAUTIFUL. 733 00:41:24,829 --> 00:41:28,332 IT'S NOT MY FAULT. I TOLD YOU ABOUT THOSE TWO PSYCHOPATHS DOWN THE STREET. 734 00:41:28,332 --> 00:41:29,834 WHAT, A COUPLE OF 12-YEAR-OLDS? 735 00:41:29,834 --> 00:41:32,336 THEY START EARLY THESE DAYS. 736 00:41:32,336 --> 00:41:34,839 WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ? NOTHING. 737 00:41:35,339 --> 00:41:37,341 YOU. 738 00:41:37,341 --> 00:41:39,844 YOU SOUND LIKE MY PARENTS FIGHTING. 739 00:41:42,346 --> 00:41:45,349 IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY. IT'S A COMPANY CAR. 740 00:41:47,852 --> 00:41:50,855 WELL, COME ON. WE HAVE TO TAKE THE CHILD TO SCHOOL. 741 00:41:50,855 --> 00:41:51,856 IN THIS? 742 00:41:53,357 --> 00:41:54,358 YOU CARE? 743 00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,362 FUCK NO. 744 00:42:01,365 --> 00:42:03,868 [ Screeching of tires ] 745 00:42:05,870 --> 00:42:07,872 [ Honking of horn ] 746 00:42:23,387 --> 00:42:25,389 HERE WE ARE, SONNY BOY. 747 00:42:25,389 --> 00:42:27,391 BE SURE TO COME HOME RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL. 748 00:42:27,391 --> 00:42:28,392 NO LINGERING ON THE PLAYGROUND 749 00:42:28,893 --> 00:42:31,395 OR IN THE LOCKER ROOM WITH THE GYM TEACHER. 750 00:42:31,395 --> 00:42:32,897 OH, YOU DID NOT TELL HIM ABOUT THAT. 751 00:42:34,398 --> 00:42:36,901 IT'S THE MOST FAMOUS SHOWER SCENE SINCE "PSYCHO." 752 00:42:36,901 --> 00:42:41,405 HEY, JUSTIN! WANNA SUCK ME OFF? 753 00:42:41,405 --> 00:42:44,408 NO, BUT I'LL KICK YOUR TIGHT LITTLE VIRGIN ASS SO HARD, 754 00:42:44,408 --> 00:42:45,910 YOU WON'T SIT DOWN FOR A WEEK. 755 00:42:45,910 --> 00:42:48,412 [ Giggling ] 756 00:42:50,414 --> 00:42:51,415 CAN WE GET OUT OF HERE? 757 00:42:53,918 --> 00:42:55,419 WHEN CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN? 758 00:42:55,419 --> 00:42:56,921 YOU CAN SEE ME RIGHT NOW. 759 00:42:56,921 --> 00:42:58,923 I MEAN LATER-- TONIGHT. 760 00:42:58,923 --> 00:43:01,926 [ Chuckles ] WHO KNOWS WHERE I'LL BE LATER TONIGHT. 761 00:43:02,927 --> 00:43:05,429 WE BETTER GO. 762 00:43:05,930 --> 00:43:07,932 PLEASE? 763 00:43:09,433 --> 00:43:10,935 I'LL SEE YOU IN YOUR DREAMS. 764 00:43:19,944 --> 00:43:21,445 [ Ringing of school bell ] 765 00:43:32,957 --> 00:43:35,960 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? YOUR MOM CALLED. 766 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:37,962 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL HER. 767 00:43:37,962 --> 00:43:39,964 I SAID YOU WERE STILL ASLEEP. 768 00:43:39,964 --> 00:43:42,466 I JUST SAW THE FACE OF GOD. 769 00:43:42,466 --> 00:43:43,467 HUH? 770 00:43:43,968 --> 00:43:46,470 HIS NAME IS BRIAN KINNEY. 771 00:43:48,472 --> 00:43:50,474 Michael: THANK GOD HE'S FINALLY GONE. 772 00:43:50,474 --> 00:43:51,976 Brian: HE ALMOST WORE ME OUT. 773 00:43:51,976 --> 00:43:54,478 SOMEBODY WORE YOU OUT? 774 00:43:54,979 --> 00:43:56,981 I SAID "ALMOST." 775 00:43:58,482 --> 00:44:00,484 I'LL DROP YOU BY THE STORE. 776 00:44:00,484 --> 00:44:01,986 [ Scoffs ] THE HELL YOU WILL. 777 00:44:02,486 --> 00:44:04,989 YOU BETTER GET THIS THING REPAINTED BEFORE YOU GO INTO THE OFFICE. 778 00:44:04,989 --> 00:44:06,490 I'M NOT HAVING IT REPAINTED. 779 00:44:06,490 --> 00:44:07,992 WHAT? 780 00:44:07,992 --> 00:44:10,494 I LIKE IT THIS WAY. ARE YOU CRAZY? 781 00:44:10,995 --> 00:44:12,997 [ Honking of horns ] 782 00:44:14,498 --> 00:44:16,000 NO. THEY ARE. 783 00:44:16,500 --> 00:44:18,502 WELL, I SAY FUCK 'EM. 784 00:44:18,502 --> 00:44:21,500 THEY CAN WRITE IT IN NEON ACROSS THE SKY. 785 00:44:22,506 --> 00:44:25,900 FAGGOT! 786 00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:27,110 [ Both laughing ] 787 00:44:27,511 --> 00:44:30,514 [ Honking of horn ] 788 00:44:30,514 --> 00:44:33,517 ?? YOU GAVE ME GIRL'S TOYS ?? 789 00:44:34,180 --> 00:44:38,220 ?? I'M ONE OF THOSE BOYS ?? 52632

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