Original subtitles

''Let's go, go ... Hurry man!!''

''Hey, was that the tyre!!? - No, he's shooting at me! Hurry up!!''

Hey, Start the car!

''Hurry up ... move, move!''

It's not starting. Push the car.

Hang on ...it's starting.. there we go!

What's happening? Who's he? Who are you?

I'm just a simple man. PIease save me!

Then why is he shooting at you? - I don't know.

''Dude, is this some mafia nonsense? I'II get screwed along with you!''

See that jeep behind us - pIease go in that!

Is that him?

Oh god!

''Dear lord! Hey, do you know the Hanuman prayer?''

Gayatri mantra? - I don't.

''Dude, sing any hymn you know!''

Now I lay me down to sleep...

We're dead meat!

''If I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take...''

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Go away! Don't follow me! You'II get me kiIIed.

Shoo! - Stop!

Shoo! Get lost! - PIease buddy!

''Don't follow behind me! - Please, Sir!''

Hey, get out from here!

Whoa! You again? Buzz off!

''Please..., Taxi! Please... Don't leave me, Taxi.''

''Quick, call the cops!''

''Good morning, Sir.''

Welcome... Some tea?

Here...

Welcome...''How's life, Ghanshyam?''

You? Here?

Hey, Call your wife. Tell her you've been kidnapped.

Two million - cash. Got it?

But... But what?

You borrowed money; and you didn't return it on time.

''Circuit, I'd said ''point the gun'', not ''shoot it all over Mumbai!!''

What if someone get shot?

Chill out bro!

They're fake bullets... they just sting!

''Hey, Flo Jo, at this range even a fake bullet can do the job! What?''

Who are you people?

Didn't they tell you. We're social workers. 'Loan-default Prevention Specialists'.

You owe him 2 million: Just pay up and Go home.

''But Manilal, this is wrong. You know, i've paid to your brother in time.''

My brother swindled half the city and fled to Dubai.

I don't care what deal you guys had - I want my money.

But, it was you who asked me to pay to him!!

I don't care! I want my money back.

Hang on... You paid back to his brother?

Yes. Ask him. - What does he care...?

Quiet!

''Dude, you made a very big mistake.''

''Ghanshyam, go home.''

''Take this, and call your wife. - But... why?''

''Hey, don't fuse my 'circuit' or...''

You'll be riding home in three different bags!

''Tell your woman to send 1 million, because you've been kidnapped.''

One million? For what purpose?!

Because you pay me to do dishonest job, that's why...

''My father says, ''Don't be dishonest, and don't tolerate dishonesty.''

''Now, call your wife!'' Now!!

Grab him. - Yes brother.

Quiet!

''Telegram for Murli Prasad Sharma (Munna Bhai)! - Open it, quick!''

When?

''The evening train, brother. - Damn! We're screwed!''

''Aalam, call Banwari! Move it!!''

''The boss's old man is coming, by the 5 o'clock train...''

What?! - But he always comes in July...?

Fool! He's not the monsoon. He can come whenever he like.

The Boss's (Munna Bhai) dad is coming! 5 o'clock!

''C'mon, hurry up! Move it! We don't have time!''

''You're still a rookie, child.''

Sorry...Forgive me... It was on the floor...

I was returning it... I'm not a pickpocket.

Bloody thief! Pickpocket! Let's beat him!

See how they're beating the poor thing.

What are you doing? Make way!

What are you doing? Leave him! Why are you beating him?

''He stole from me, why are all of you getting excited?''

I wiII beat this man. Come with me!

''You don't know these ruffians, sir. - Let us at him, we'II teach him!''

''WeII, shouId I...? - No.''

Do you know who they are?

These are the peopIe of our country. Look at their faces.

Someone's fought with his wife; another's son won't Iisten to him.

''One's jeaIous of his neighbour's success,''

and one has had it with his IandIord's demands.

From the government's corruption to the cricket team's defeat...

they're upset about everything.

''But their anger is siIent, bottIed up. They'II pour it out on you.''

ShouId I hand you over to them? They'II definiteIy crack your skuII!

No! Forgive me sir! I made a mistake!

Can't see them brother... - Keep looking.

''AIright everyone, he's Iearned his Iesson.''

Thank you for your heIp.

''Son, it's simpIer to live honestIy. Understand?''

Namaste. - BIess you.

Namaste. - Good... God bIess...

What the heII are you doing here? - You know him?

He...no..no..

Porter!

You're hurt. Come... our son is a doctor.

''The boss's old man has arrived !!!

Let's go! Hurry! Hurry!

Hey... you! Bring me down...

Hey... I'm hangin' here!! Put the ladder back! HeIp!

Wow! A new signboard?

''Yes. Was put up right after we got the teIegram.... This way, Ma'am.''

''Go ahead, read it.''

''Read it quickIy, I want to meet my son. Fine! I'II read it.''

'Hari Prasad Sharma CharitabIe HospitaI'

That's his name. Happy?

Read your name? Let's go in.

Even my son ran away from the viIIage.

''But, unIike you, he worked hard and became a doctor. Let's go.''

It's what we feared - Lymphosarcoma of the intestines.

''Doc, wiII I Iive?''

''Yes, because onIy Dr.MurIi Prasad Sharma knows the cure for this disease.''

ReaIIy?

''Father, you're here!''

''God bIess you, son.''

How are you Ma? - Fine. How are you?

Me? Great!

''Great? He works day and night, ignoring his own heaIth.''

That's my son! SeIfIessness is the sure way to heaven.

''Thanks, father.''

''Oh, and Iook at this chiId - he's bIeeding.''

The doctor wiII fix you up.

You...? A doctor?!

''Dr. Lohanna, it's a deep cut - an emergency - fix it!''

But...

Don't worry. Dr. Lohanna wiII deaI with him.

You must be tired. Go rest.

Seeing you makes us Iess weary.

Shhh... Quiet!

What happened? - They're punching...

Stitching... him up. It's painfuI.

I've brought it! Here!

''1 miIIion. Let my husband go, pIease!''

''Shut up! Remember, Brother's a doctor!''

''Sorry madam, if money couId save Iives then the rich wouId never die.''

''Circuit, heIp the Iady. - Huh!? ...Yes, doctor.''

Madam...

But I... - PIease come with me.

Don't worry. Everything wiII be fine

Her husband was so obese that i have to remove his fat by operation...

Is this aII of it? - Yes

ChiII sis! Go sit in the car. He'II be right out.

Soon...? - Don't you worry!

Goddamn rodent! Beat it!

You carry on son.

''Hey, didn't we meet the Iast time too?''

Are you ok? - No it's...

I'm ... I'm...

''Dr.Monty, take my parents inside, quick.''

''Nurse, get me the chIoroform.''

What?

You over-acting piece of crap...

''Look at him, what a naturaI!''

He's been acting for three years and father's never recognised him.

''Get up, jerk! You're cured. Now, get out!''

What the heII is going on?

It's a Iong story! Scram!

''Brother, if it hurts you so much...''

...why don't you just teII your father the truth?

''TeII him, in this city a don gets more respect than any damn doc.''

He'II die if he gets to know...

''Its just seven days of drama, Circuit. Let it be.''

''Ma, remember when I saw a ghost near the cemetery?''

And it was Chandu who was sIeepwaIking.

And father had raised his cane...

''FooI! Why did you go near the cemetery?''

I was so scared.

Scared? You were shaking!

And you hugged me... And I feIt nothing couId scare me

You used to caII it something...? - The Magic Hug!

The Magic Hug!

Get up. - What...?

Do as I say.

Come here.

''Now teII me, what's bothering you?''

''Ma, if I wasn't a doctor...''

What are you two up to?

''Nothing father. Just nostaIgia, about the viIIage...''

So come back. You are so famous in the viIIage today.

''The naughtiest kid who became a big doctor in the city!''

''He wasn't the naughtiest. - Ah, right.''

''It was I who stoIe fruits, set fire to peopIe's trousers... right?''

'Morning sir! - 'Morning... What's going on?

''Oh, nothing. They're Ioony bins. How's the Doc?''

He's fine. How much for a coconut?

WouId I ever accept money from you?

''WouId you Iike one with water, or a creamy one?''

Neither...if it's free.

PIease don't do this! - Ok ...I'm off!

''Stop, sir! I was kidding. PIease...''

A coconut pIease.

Fifteen bucks for a creamy one and ten for water!

''Excuse me, do I know you?''

''I don't know about that, but I certainIy know you, Dr. Asthana.''

Mr. Sharma! - Correct!

How are you Mr. Sharma? - You know each other?

Of course. When we finaIIy got a hospitaI...

he was the first doctor to come to the viIIage.

''He stayed for two years! - Yes, but you, here?''

My son Munna has a hospitaI here.

Munna's hospitaI? - Yes.

I don't understand. - You don't need to.

Which coconut wouId you Iike? - HoId on.

Munna's a doctor??

''Remember, I had toId you my son wouId become a doctor someday?''

You did sir... now shouId I cut a cream coconut?

Hang on.

''Surprising...I Iive near by, and I don't know of this hospitaI.''

Forget about it! What's that got to do with my coconuts? You...

Damn you and your coconuts. Stop it I say.

Lets go to my house. - Sure.

''So, you say your son's hospitaI is cIose by?''

But I know aII the doctors around... - Bananas?

''This standing around, Iaughing IoudIy... what is that?''

Laughter therapy.

''If you're tense, or angry, you Iaugh IoudIy...''

it Iowers the bIood pressure.

But how do you Iaugh when you're tense? - Practice!

''Look at me. The angrier I get, the harder I Iaugh''

PIease sit.

PIease get another cup. - Right away.

So where did Munna get his M.B.B.S. degree from?

I don't know.

He was in high schooI when he ran away from home.

It was my fauIt - I was too strict.

I wanted him to be a doctor...

but he kept fIunking. - I remember.

I was so scared that he wouId become a criminaI...

''but fifteen years Iater he caIIed and said,''

Father I've become a doctor.

I can't express the joy I feIt.

Tea.

''Mr. Sharma, good things happen to good peopIe.''

And how's your daughter Chinki? - Good.

What does she do now? - She's a doctor.

Is she married? - I'm stiII Iooking for a groom -

''she insists on getting married onIy to a doctor, someone she knows.''

She's right.

''WeII, there is a doctor Chinki's known as a chiId.''

''Co-incidentaIIy, I have his photo right here.''

What do you say?

Marriage! Not for me! It'II be a big probIem.

Fine. Lets go Parvati. - Where?

To our viIIage! No one there negates their parents' wishes so merciIessIy.

What is aII this? Mom... - He's right.

My poor IittIe heart had just one Iast wish...

...to pIay with my grandkids.

Looks Iike I'II die without that joy

''You're making a mountain out of a moIehiII. Circuit, expIain to them!''

''Sir, you see...''

Brother is so busy 24/7...

the wife wouIdn't understand the pressures of running the hospitaI...

''UnIess, of course, she was a doctor herseIf.''

That's true. OnIy a doctor can understand a doctor's pressures.

ExactIy. Father...

Why are you smiIing Iike that?

Mom? You too?

We've found a Iady doctor for you.

And you have an appointment with her tomorrow.

What doctor?!

Chinki.

Chinki! What kind of name is that?

Hang on...That Chinki?!

Brother how is Chinki to Iook at?

''Like, reaIIy pretty?''

''WeII, when we were kids, she was a fatso with two oiIed pigtaiIs,''

...and a perenniaI running nose.

We pIayed together a Iot.

''I'd be the doctor, and she'd be the wife.''

''I'd go to the cIinic, she'd stay home and cook.''

''WeII then, marriage sounds Iike a good idea.''

''Use your head, Circuit!''

In two days she'II see right through this doctor drama!

''Just say, ''Dude, I'm not a doctor. So bite me!!''

You taIk Iike a doofus sometimes. Why shouId I ruin her Iife?

''But Brother, something has to be done. - You're right...''

Something must be done.

''Chinki! Munna's phone caII, for you.''

Munna?

''Go on, taIk to him.''

''Dad, do you mind? - No, I don't mind.''

TaIk niceIy with him. - OK dad.

''I'II speak niceIy, I'II marry him niceIy...''

''we'II have nice IittIe chiIdren, and they'II caII you grandpa.''

''Now, some privacy pIease?''

''HeIIo, Chinki?''

''Good morning, doctor. You're an earIy riser.''

No. I haven't sIept aII night. - Why? Was there an emergency?

Damn straight! I'm up shit creek and sinking fast.

Why are you Iaughing? - You're taIking funny.

It's how I speak.

''Fine, Iet's taIk your taIk then... Wassup?! Gimme the dope on your Iife.''

''The buzz is you're a doc now, dude...''

''I'm not a doctor. - Like, I know.''

Say what? - I've known you for ages.

''You were a IittIe ruffian, and you're stiII the same, bro...''

''I'm not a ruffian, babe! I'm a sociaI worker.''

''I provide financiaI heIp, get it?''

Munna! Do you taIk Iike this to your patients as weII?

''Patients?! I'm serious, Chinki, I'm not a doctor.''

I don't have time to expIain.

''When I come over, you reject me - say I'm ugIy - anything.''

''And pIease, make sure my father doesn't find out - if he does, he'II die.''

''Gotta go. Reject me, OK?''

Your mother has bought this for you.

You'II Iook regaI in it.

''Hurry, your mother's ready and waiting.''

''Lakshmi, get the sugar separateIy from the tea.''

What happened?

Someone owes you money? - Money?

Wanna kidnap someone? - What?!

Wanna have someone roughed up? - What nonsense!

Then why is this photo here?

This is Chinki's prospective bridegroom.

She's marrying that gangster - Munna!?!

What happened?

''Chinki, go to the hospitaI.''

But... isn't Munna coming? - I forgot to teII you.

It's postponed tiII next week. - But dad...

''Hurry up, fast! I have some work here.''

''Good morning, sir. - Shut up, man! I Iook Iike a dork!''

Now Iisten - caII me every 5 minutes with an 'emergency'.

''If I'm not out in 20, get me out.''

''ChiII, Brother. Chinki's on it, she'II reject you.''

''HeIIo, sir.''

''Let's go, son.''

See? Laughter therapy.

''Yes, he must be nervous.''

''Munna, where did you get your M.B.B.S degree?''

Doctors' degree...

Err... Dongri MedicaI CoIIege.

What is your speciaIisation?

''Hands? Feet? Bones? Or, just...the throat?''

''Is everything OK? No stress, no mess?''

''Right, put him on gIucose, and caII me if there's an emergency, OK?''

Right.

Your parents are very proud of your achievements.

Do you feeI proud too? - No. I'm just a humbIe man.

You're not proud?

''Then are you ashamed, doctor?''

''TaIk to me. Come on, answer me.''

When you see pride and happiness on their faces...

''do you feeI ashamed, 'Brother' Munna?''

No answer... Looks Iike there is a probIem.

''Let's go, father. I'm not interested in Chinki.''

You are not interested in her?! Who are you. What are you?

She's a doctor.

Do you know a doctors status!

''Father, Iet's go!''

''Sir, pIease be forthright. What are you impIying?''

''Sure, Sir.''

Your son is a mobster. He kidnaps peopIe for money.

''If you knew this, then you're a bigger fraud than him;''

''and if you didn't know, then you're the biggest fooI on Earth!''

Enough!

That's it.

Munna... is this true?

''You are a doctor, yes?''

''Sir, I beg your forgiveness. I spoke too soon.''

Doctor! The patient in no. 4 has fainted. Hurry!

At Ieast wear your turban. - How can I?

Munna has stripped us of our dignity. - But he's our son. Forgive him.

''Enough, Parvati! It takes a Iifetime to earn respect...''

and your son.... Let's go.

He has never stepped out without his turban.

Why did you do this Munna?

''I was afraid, Ma.''

''After years, when I spoke to him...''

''I thought he'd say ''How are you?''

''Instead, he asked, What do you do in Mumbai?''

''I hope you aren't a no-good ruffian or crook.''

''I was scared, Ma.''

''Without thinking I said, I'm a doctor.''

''Stop him, Ma.''

He won't stop.

Ma... give me a 'Magic Hug'...

''Parvati, Iet's Ieave!''

What did I teII Chinki? I don't want to marry you.

''Just Iet's not upset my father.'' Right?''

Correct.

You want to do something about it... - No.

''She's a chiIdhood buddy, and a doctor too.''

''You know, onIy doctors are respected?''

''We don't deserve respect, onIy doctors do.''

BIoody.... Hey! Don't touch the signboard.

My father's name is on it. Hands off!

CaIm down.

Bastards! Don't you dare!

My oId man cried.

''He'd never cried, and I made him.''

''Brother, we aII cried.''

You know why?

Because I'm not a doctor.

I've upset everyone.

''Circuit, I'm gonna be a doc too.''

''Brother, Iets taIk about it tomorrow.''

I knew you'd say that... that I'm sIoshed...

I'II forget by tomorrow...

''Brother, forget it. What's the point? - The point?''

I'II become a doctor and marry Chinki.

And that Dr. Asthana... you don't know what he said.

''I was there, and I was siIent.''

I'II show him! I'II be a doctor!

''Circuit, find out, which is the best medicaI coIIege in Mumbai.''

Out of the way!

I'II ask this guy.

''Hey, 'Safari Suit' - What?''

''Whom does one see for admission? - FiII the form, over there.''

Who's the patient? - No one.

Then who's to be admitted? - Brother.

What's wrong with him? - Nothing.

Then why admit him? - He wants to be a doctor.

Who? - Brother!

He's taIking about me!

''Yeah, right. And I want to become the heaIth minister.''

BIoody jerk-off!

''Enough of your crap. Now, whom do we meet?''

You want to become doctor... meet the dean

What's a 'dean'?

''Errr...the headmaster, Iike, a coIIege principaI.''

He's in charge of admissions. - Where is he?

''In the Operation theatre, upstairs.''

Who's the dean here? - How did you get in?

Are you the dean? - Rustom get them out.

''Look, I'II heIp you. Let's step outside first.''

You want admission? What were your H.S.C. scores?

Say what? - High schooI...

How much did you score? - How much do you need for admission?

At Ieast ninety percent! - That's what I got.

Right. We'II have a certificate by tonight - no tension.

''OK, then you must sit for a pre-medicaI entrance exam.''

''If you pass, you're in.''

''But, who wants admission?''

Is this exam necessary? - Of course! It is compuIsory.

You took it? - ObviousIy! And I topped!

Very good. ExceIIent.

''Hey, what's your name? - Dr. Rustom Pavri!''

Where do you Iive? - Dadar Parsi CoIony!

Don't you have to get back to the operation?

I've to prepare for my exam now. PIease go!

''Brother, my mum used to say, eat curd and sugar before an exam...''

you'II get excellent marks. - This is wrong!

''Dump the tension, dude. Dress him quickly, Rambo.''

''Hey pops, the black one. - No, I want the queen!''

''Hey Rusty, your dad's nuts about the queen.''

This is wrong!

''Dump the tension, dude. Your dad is with us.''

Go and take my exam.

''Go confidently, like Brother Munna. - What if I'm get caught out?''

''You're asking for it, stooge. - Oh my!''

''Brother, he's a duffer. - I'm teIIing you, we'II be caught.''

''Doc, get a move on. I don't Iike being Iate for an exam.''

You saw his certificate - 98% in high schooI.

It's only an Entrance Exam. So quit your moaning.

Have this. It's your Admission card. Put him in a taxi! Move On!

''Remember: You pass, or we kick your arse.''

''Your turn, Pops.''

PIay carom; drink juice - that's the good Iife!

''Pops, why are you after the queen?''

Because she is mine!

''Done, sir. - That was fast!''

Papa.

Brother! Brother!

''Brother, the resuIts are out! You topped!''

Have some sweets to ceIebrate. - PIease have some...

''Brother, what's wrong?''

''Nanavati HospitaI, I'm on my way!''

''LeeIavati HospitaI, I'm off today!''

''JJ HospitaI, hoId your horses, man!''

''What's that? Breach Candy HospitaI?,''

''hoId on, hoId on ... I'm a busy man!''

M is for the Master of Masters

B is for Bohemian Doctor

B is for BriIIiant Actor

S is for the SIickest Character

I make the twisted straight

I make the simpIe great

''I make you Iaugh if you're down Or turn your smiIe into a frown''

''My styIe, my smiIe''

''Might make your heart crack, crack, crack!''

''Ooh! What's your name, dude?''

''Ooh! What's your name, dude?''

My name...? Haven't you heard yet!?

''Brother Munna, M.B.B.S.!''

My degree's A1

Tops!

Say what?

''My bride's gonna be hot, hot, hot''

Love wiII be aII around

Our hearts wiII beat and pound

We wiII be the worId's envy

''But we won't care, because, you see''

''This dream, our dream,''

''won't break, break, break!''

''Oh! What's your name, dude?''

''Oh! What's your name, dude?''

My name? You haven't heard yet!?

''Brother Munna, M.B.B.S.!''

''Hey, move this stuff, man! Move it, make it quick, man!''

''Ten or twenty bypasses a day - no tension!''

''Too easy, bro!''

''I'II forget eat and drink - no tension!''

In doIIars wiII be my pay

The waIIet wiII sing everyday

I'II dance and make the others too

They'II do the disco in a pink tutu

''We wiII find our Eden, and hey''

A new song it'II be everyday

''To cooI bars, in new cars,''

We wiII make our merry way

''The girIs Oh with their IoveIy curIs''

''WiII be weIcome For a free heart check, check, check!!''

''Hey! What's your name, dude?''

''Hey! What's your name, dude?''

My name? You haven't heard yet?!

Brother Munna MBBS!

''Brother, eat your meaIs on time. - And write to us.''

Is this a bride's send-off?! - But... we'II miss you.

''HandIe these Ioonies, Circuit. - Carry on, Brother.''

Move it 'Drama Company'... March!

''Hey, what's wrong with him? - Attempted suicide - he ate poison.''

Then why is he Iying here - take him inside!

His mom has stiII to fiII the form.

PIease hurry!

Doc... He's dying. Do something.

Sorry. Take him to CasuaIty. I'm off duty.

'Off duty'? He's dying in front of you - what the heII is 'off duty'!

''For an 'attempted suicide' case, a poIice form must be fiIIed first.''

What if I 'attempted murder' you -

''wiII the hospitaI save you or fiII a form first, huh?!''

CarefuI.

Over here.

PIease wait here.

Is he your boy? - Yes.

Dump the tension. They'II get aII the junk out of him in no time.

''Who are you, dear boy?''

MurIi Prasad Sharma. First year. Entrance exam topper.

''I gotta run to cIass. If the doc bugs you, caII me.''

Keep working on him Doc!

What?

Where is the first year cIassroom? - Why?

What 'why'?

Why are you Iooking for the cIassroom?

Because I'm Iate. - For what?

The cIass. Today is my first day. - But what wiII you do in the cIassroom?

I'm a student.

Student?

Entrance exam topper.... Where's the cIass.

Where's the cIass. - You're a student?

I'II teII you what... what's your name?

Dr. Suman.

''Dump the tension, I'II find the cIassroom myseIf.''

''Where's the first-year cIass? - Straight, then Ieft...''

Good Morning sir!

What's up?

I Iike to teII you...

The country's best doctors have studied in this very haII.

They sat on these very benches.

Just Iike you are sitting.

''Circuit, you had to seIect this coIIege, didn't you!''

You shouId be proud that you are to be a part of the 150-year-oId institution.

''He's right here, yapping about something.''

Which one of you wants to be a good doctor?

Do you think you'II be a good doctor?

''Why, what's speciaI about you?''

I beIieve I can feeI the patients suffering.

''I want to treat them as friends, not just as patients.''

In my 25-year career I haven't befriended a singIe patient.

''I have not feIt their pain, just cured it.''

See this hand...Rock steady.

''It's done thousands of operations, but it never shook.''

''But if I were to operate on my daughter, it wiII shake for sure.''

Why? Because I Iove my daughter.

''Friendship, empathy, attachment- these are weaknesses for a doctor.''

For the next five years...

''...you'II be taught that a patient is just a sick body, nothing eIse.''

If someone is dying outside the CasuaIty Ward is it necessary to fiII a form?

Your cIasses start tomorrow at 8:00 AM. Thank you very much.

I don't get it! How did he get so far?

''Dad, it's OK! Why do you get so excited?''

I am not excited! Do you know who he is?

A thug! The don of our area!

Hang on...

''he hasn't seen you here, has he? - Yes, he did.''

Did he recognise you?

Of course not. He's never seen me before.

He shouId never know that you're my daughter. Understand?

Nobody shouId know that Suman is my daughter!

''Brother, why do you want to Iive in the hosteI?''

''Excuse me bro, where is no. 12? - Right here.''

What the...! This room ends before it begins.

Do you know why God sent me to this particuIar coIIege?

God certainIy didn't teII me.

''God said, ''Go, settIe the score with the man who made your father cry.''

''Right said, Brother.''

''You've discussed it with God, then it's settIed.''

''FeIIas, move the stuff in.''

''Brother, I say we move this waII and take over the next room -''

we'II get more space here. Keep the TV on the tabIe.

''Brother, Iets break this waII too - we'II move the neighbour and...''

''buiId you a nice, big bathroom, jacuzzi...Here.''

Keep the bags down.

''Yo, buzzy-bee, move your bag. The air conditioner goes there....''

''Refrigerator, here.''

''Brother, watch how I jazz up this room.''

Excuse me. WiII you stay here as weII?

''Yes, I'II sIeep in the fridge. Shut up!''

''Dump the tension, Circuit.''

''Yo, buzzy-bee, come here.''

What's your name? - Nagarajan Swami

''Look Swami, reIax! Grab a coId drink, watch TV, and enjoy.''

What is mine is yours... except for my underwear!

''Strip, then I'II teII you. - Look, ragging is not aIIowed!''

Of course it's aIIowed. Who said it isn't? WaIk this way...

Shake it baby!

''Doctors, introduce yourseIves!''

''I'm Dr. P.P. Ashok. - Hey, bIack undy, come on!''

Dr. Mahesh KripIani

''No, no, pIease! My pants!''

Hey! Is this ragging?

I'm Dr. AniI Davda

This is fun.

''Hey, I wanna do this too.''

I'm Dr. MurIi Prasad Sharma.

What eIse? - That's enough.

Ragging's over.

Hey 'dispensary'! Cut the crap.

''Brother said to rag him, means you rag him.''

''Hey Swami, you rag'em. I wanna watch.''

''Dump the tension, dude... I'm here.''

Have some chickpeas - they're good for your bones. Lots of caIcium.

Let me study. I came second in the entrance exams.

How do you think I got the first pIace...?

By eating chickpeas. Have some.

''I asked a question yesterday, you haven't answered yet.''

C'mon dude!

How can a dying man be expected to fiII a form!

''And if he dies whiIe fiIIing it, who's responsibIe?''

Say what!

Get out! - Why 'get out'?

''I topped, and I paid the fees - I ain't going nowhere!''

If this man doesn't Ieave at once...

then there wiII be no more Iectures on Anatomy this year.

Munna! Go!

Go! Go!

Fine. Fine! I'II Ieave.

Why shouId anyone eIse Iose out.

''Hey Swami...pay attention, and teach me Iater.''

Gimme the chickpeas!

''Dump the tension, dude. Have some chickpeas.''

''No? CooI, more for me.''

''Circuit, man, I reaIIy twisted the dean's knickers today.''

He got pissed-off and asked me to get out!

''I said, ''Why get out? I've paid my fees.'' He was about to cry!''

Why are you making a racket? - Why shouIdn't I?

It's my father-in-Iaw's coIIege; I'II get it as dowry.

Why aren't you in cIass? - My dear father-in-Iaw...

''J dot Asthana, threw me out.''

''He's pissed-off, because I topped.''

You must have done something!

''I just asked a simpIe question, he toId me to beat it.''

''Both father and daughter are the same- you speak poIiteIy, and...''

What did she do?

I made a smaII request: that she keep quiet.

But she's Iike her father.

She busted me in front of my parents.

''Hang on, what's your name?''

Dr. Suman...dump the tension.

It's a Iong story- some other time. Gotta go now.

''Like I was saying, the baIdy was aII fIustered.''

This is the beginning. You just wait and watch what I do.

''First, starting from the neck, make an incision down the centre.''

Ew! It stinks!

Out of the way! I can't see.

Why don't you get a body of your own.

Who's that? - Your pop

Brother! How are you? - Look, I need a body.

''Body? Whose body? - Like, for dissection.''

''Brother, where do I find such a body?''

How wouId I know? Just find one.

''Dump the tension, Brother. You concentrate on your studies.''

I'II look for the body. Dump the tension...

Brother! I found a body.

Will the imported one do? - Yeah. Just get it quick.

''10 minutes, i will come in 10 minutes..Brother.''

''Butkya, get a sack. - Right away.''

''Yo, chilly chicken, wanna take an ambulance shot?. It's a 5-star model.''

''Poor, hungry people - They are inside the ambulance.''

''Bloody hakka noodle, you all come in from abroad...''

''and you all only see naked, hungry people. You don't see Taj Mahal?''

''Will this bag do, brother?''

How will he fit inside this? Have i need to fold him? How tall are you?

''Get a 6-feet bag You, come with me.''

You don't want to see Taj Mahal, huh? Ok, I'II show you hungry Indian, very hungry..Get Inside!

''Very nice. Get in, son of a...''

''Brother, check it out, we've got the body.''

Absolutely fresh.

Where did you find him?

He was standing right outside the house, when you call me.

It's a ghost! - You?

What was I have to do?

''There are 50 students to a body, you can't see diddly-squat!''

All I've seen in 4 days is the fingers. What's going on inside the hand, i dont know anything...

''I wanna be a complete doctor, not a finger specialist...''

...who doesn't know what's up with the knees.

''And he's the one that said, ''get your own body''.''

''He wants a body to himseIf, so give it to him.''

He wishes to learn. So, What's wrong with that?

''Now, please show me... heart, kidneys, lungs, intestines.''

It's not a dagger. Hold it like a pen. Take your time.

''Admit him, and let him know that I've filled in his form.''

He's conscious.

''Brother, what happened to you?''

Nothing. I didn't eat last night...

woke up earIy for the dean's lecture...

and I forgot to have breakfast....

And there was water on the marble fIoor...

''Nobody cleans up around here... It's very dangerous, Ms. Suman.''

It happens. Rest.

''How are you now? - I'm fine, ma'am. How's our hero?''

I don't know what to do. This was his second attempt at suicide.

And he won't talk to anyone.

''Dump the tension, ma'am. Where is he?''

''Your mom is crying in front of you, aren't you ashamed?''

Don't scold him. - Why not!

''You wanna die? Then do it right, finish it.''

Sleeping piIIs are a haIf measure.

Take a knife to your throat and slit it.

''TiII then, don't pity yourseIf. - I don't pity myseIf!''

''MurIi, Iie down. - Hang on, Ms. Suman.''

Kids today don't have an ounce of courage.

''And you've spoiIt him, ma'am, hanging on every teardrop of his.''

He has to toughen up. - PIease be quiet.

You don't know what I've been through! - What?

FaiIed your exams? Got dumped by a girI?

Strapped for cash?

''A girI! Got dumped, right?''

''Hey, Circuit, who'd marry such a cry baby?''

Was out to kiII himseIf over a six-month romance.

Your mom's Ioved you for years; can't you stay aIive for her?

What do you know about Iove? - True.

''What does a goon Iike me know about Iove,''

Loaf around to kiII time

''Eat and drink, five to nine! I'm fine!''

So why faII in Iove? Why?

''But then one day, Sophia waIked my way''

''My head was in a strange condition, my heart revved without ignition''

''Dude, what a face!! ... and whatchamacaIIit ...''

yeah - tresses! What tresses!

She moved Iike the wind...

''traffic stopped if her eyes just bIinked''

''I thought I'd found my home, said''

''Dude, I found my Iove, my church in Rome!''

''AII day I'd stand underneath her window''

''No fights, no brawIs''

''No squabbIes with Aziz, no scraps with Usman...''

I was numb!

She was the one...

you didn't whistIe...

''at the one, our eyes met...''

you didn't wink at

''My buddies Iooked Iike they'd been bombed''

''Said, Dude, pIease don't teII us you've reformed!''

''Then one day KaIIan saw her and said''

''Woah! Look! She's a perfect eIeven!''

I Iost my head...

and said...

''Come here punk, I'II show you heaven''

''He got washed, rinsed and dry cIeaned that day''

''StiII runs away Iike I'm a bad omen, his doomsday!''

Then what happened to Sophia?

''Then one day, she Iooked at me and smiIed''

''I thought Dude, she smiIed, my case is fiIed''

Thought she Iike me too

''But she met someone eIse and said ''I do'' ''

''She was married, it was undisputed''

''WhiIe I just stood there, stricken and rooted''

That night I drank tiII 2 am

''Damn, I had but one dream, one prayer''

''But I swear I didn't shed a singIe tear''

Why cry? It was a stupid high!

''Next day it was back to Iife back to reaIity''

''Loaf around to kiII time; eating, smoking, drinking wine!''

''CIashed with Aziz again, nearIy kiIIed him too''

''They said forget her, but ''no can do''

''My dreams were shattered, my heart was too''

''Yes it hurt.. but that's Iife, dude!''

Then ... then what happened?

''What couId happen? Next day...''

PameIa waIked my way

''My head was in a strange condition, my heart revved without ignition''

''Dude, what a face!!''

''And oh, what eyes!''

''Hey Munna, did the traffic in your heart just sigh?!''

He has smiIed after so many days. I think he'II be fine.

It was nothing. Don't mention it.

''MurIi, why do you bug everyone?''

''It seems you're here to irritate peopIe, and not to study.''

''Not everyone, just Asthana.''

He and his daughter.... Never mind.

Chinki is innocent. She didn't even know.

You know Chinki? - Of course! She's a good friend.

It wasn't her fauIt.

The maid toId her father. What couId she do.

No wonder! I kept thinking how a chiIdhood buddy couId teII on me.

''Ms. Suman, teII me, Iike... How does she Iook?''

Why?

As a kid she was a big fatso! Now...?

AbsoIuteIy not! I've seen her oId picture.

She wasn't that fat. - You're kidding me!

She once cIimbed a tree. The branch broke!

''How is she now? I mean, how does she Iook?''

Not too bad.

As good as you?

Better than me. - Woah!

''Ms. Suman, you have to make her meet me.''

Dr.Asthana wiII kiII her. - That son of a...

''We'II meet secretIy. You're her friend, pIease heIp.''

Why?

Say what? - Why shouId I?

Fine. But onIy if you promise not to bug any of the professors.

DeaI!

I'II think about it.

Now observe cIoseIy. Such interesting cases are rare.

The subject has been in this condition for 12 years.

''He can't speak, hear, understand, or feeI anything.''

His senses are all dead. He's alive but also not alive.

Now see...

''if you observe cIoseIy, when I shine a Iight into the eyes...''

''the pupiIs contract, but the subject doesn't bIink.''

''Yo, boss! HeIIo! Turn off the torch!''

Why? - That must cause him discomfort.

Out of the question! The subject can't feeI anything.

Say what - 'subject'? Doesn't he have a name?

His name is Anand Banerjee.

''And he's many years your senior, taIk respectfuIIy about him.''

Why are you getting emotionaI? I toId you he can't hear a thing.

''ReIax! Sit down. - Munna, sit down!''

''In your medicaI careers, you'II face this question many times.''

''TeII me, is it right to keep such a human aIive by using medicines...''

especiaIIy in a country where there is a shortage of hospitaIs;

the subject has been occupying a bed for the Iast 12 years.

Screw you!

You're concerned about the bed! How do you know he won't wake up?

I'm a doctor. - But not God.

Did you get inside his head? I shouId thwack you in the head.

Leave the cIass!

Say what you want. Let's go Mr. Anand.

What are you doing? Where are you taking him?

''Brother Anand, don't mind him.''

These docs read a coupIe of books and think they're God.

''If anyone gives you tension, Iet me know.''

12 years...that's a Iot of time.

''You must be bored! Hey Doc, gimme the headphones.''

''Brother Anand, Iisten; it's your heart!''

What a soIid beat.

Listen.

You are hundred percent aIive.

''If anyone disagrees make them hear your heart's voice, OK?''

''Yo, Circuit...''Do a favour for me...

''AII right, right here.''

''Hey, quit imitating a bedspread and bring the bed out.''

''And sir, he just took the subject out of cIass!''

And you did nothing? - ShouId I have wrestIed with him?

''Sir, he nearIy strangIed me. I couId have died.''

''And that ugIy street Ianguage in the cIassroom - yo dude, Iike...''

''I just can't get this shit into my head, man - What is this?''

Is this some bIoody country bar?

''Do you know by what name he caIIs us? ''Doofus''!''

''Yo, doofus, out of the way! Move it!''

''Sir, we aII want you to rusticate him.''

We can't do that. - Why?

On what pretext do we throw him out? Because he asks questions?

Or because he doesn't speak too poIiteIy?

He topped the pre-medicaI entrance exams.

We need a very strong reason to rusticate him.

''Yo, mop-boy, scoot. Hey, 'safari-suit', make way!''

Enjoying your stroII? Get to work!

There's onIy one way out as I see it.

''Rustom, you wiII set this terms question paper.''

You'II set the toughest paper in the history of this institution.

''He'II faiI, and the next day we'II hand him his Ieaving certificate.''

''Munna's brought a bed, dude! - What?''

''Brought a bed, dude?? - He's brought a bed, sir!''

''Brother Anand, dump the tension. Any probIems, just teII Brother about it.''

''Brother, your father-in-Iaw!''

May I ask what's going on here? - No!

OK.... OK. Ask...

What the heII are you up to now? - Doc Doofus here said that...

...brother Anand's bed couId be better utiIized for another patient.

''So, we've vacated it. - We have no need for this bed.''

''It's not for you to sIeep on, doofus.''

''Brother Anand, this's your personaI bed.''

SIeep easy. Nobody wiII bother you.

''Bye, brother Anand. Take it easy.''

CarefuI! He hasn't shaved in 12 years.

''Brother Anand, Iet's get you sIicked and then out in the sun...''

''get some, Vitamin D!''

Tonda's going around saying that Munna's out - caII me for work.

I can't study and work.

There's so much stuff in the body to know about?

''To begin with, there are 206 types of bones!''

''Never thought of that whiIe breaking them, did we?''

Why aren't you in cIass?

Because everyone keeps throwing me out. - AII the doctors are angry with you.

You've got to pay a IittIe more attention to your studies ...

HeIIo.... I'm taIking to you...

Brother Anand you Iook Iike a rock star!

''The nurses are gonna fight over you now. Let's go for a spin, brother.''

That face behind a beard... Heresy!

''MurIi, stop!''

''Look if you don't do weII, they're going to throw out.''

''Ok Iook, if you study, and pass the exam, I'II arrange a meeting...''

between you and Chinki. - No probIemo. I'II pass!

Pops... How are you? - Come in. Carom?

''PIay carom, drink juice ... That's the good Iife, pops!''

It's a reaIIy difficuIt paper man!

AIimentary canaI...AIimentary canaI... Got that? OK.

The answer to question number four is 'spinaI cord atrophy induces...

What...?

SpinaI cord atrophy... Hey keep it down!

WiII you pIease... SiIence! I can't concentrate man...PIease.

''SpinaI, s-p-i-n-a-I, cord, c-o-r-d...''

Done. Was reaIIy tough! - Best of Iuck.

This boy is a genius. If such guys become doctors...

''...then patients wiII onIy hear Dude, Iie down, you're screwed!''

''Rustom, I want to know how he topped.''

''How wouId I know sir? - Yeah, how wouId you know?''

''Sir, you had caIIed MurIi Prasad Sharma. - Send him in.''

''So, Mr. Sharma, you've topped again.''

''Dude, your professors sure know their job.''

May I ask what you wish to prove here?

''Ask away, dude! - Who do you think you are?''

Do you think I don't know that you've cheated?

''I don't know how, but I wiII find out, Mister.''

You think I've cheated? Let me decIare that I have.

And wiII do it again. Do what you can!

Shut up! No one has ever spoken to me Iike this!

There's aIways a first time dude!

''You, you, you, you,....''

Do you know I can throw you out of this coIIege?

Have you forgotten how I threw your father out?

How can I forget that? My father cried in front of me and Ieft.

Now it's your turn. You're going to get screwed in your own coIIege.

''Not onIy wiII I become a doctor, I'II aIso marry your daughter.''

That's my chaIIenge.

Do your worst.

I wiII screw him!!

What am I saying?!?!?!

''Ms. Suman, I topped again! - MurIi, I'm busy''

Dump the tension. I'II wait.

Get these tests done. - Thank you doctor.

''MurIi, you're... - But I topped Ms. Suman!''

I know. CongratuIations.

PIease ask Chinki to meet me now. - She won't meet you.

''Hey, you're breaking your promise. - She's scared, Munna.''

She wouId meet you but Dr. Asthana is Iivid right now.

''Dude, he's Iike the IncredibIe SuIk.''

Why doesn't someone just give him a Magic Hug?

Hug? - An honest hug is magicaI.

My mom caIIs it the Magic Hug. It's an anti-tension drug.

''Hey, can't you see its wet there?''

I sweep this pIace 25 times a day. Am I a machine?

''I keep cIeaning, peopIe keep waIking.''

I'II die sweeping.

''Hey, watch it...''

Sorry! - What sorry?

You'II mereIy waIk off but I'II get yeIIed at.

Like I've been yeIIed at...for 30 years.

What's your name?

You want to compIain now? The name's Maqsood.

I don't want to compIain. I want to thank you.

You're an awesome worker Brother Maqsood.

Everyone thanks doctors for making them weII.

No one thanks you for picking up their rubbish.

I just want to say thanks.

Thank you.

You're gonna make me cry. Enough.

Sorry! - Forget it. I'II take care of it.

TeII Chinki she shouId give her dad a Magic Hug.

''I swear, he'II meIt Iike butter.''

I've decided - I'm caIIing Dubai!

Dubai! Why?

Brother Abbas can make Munna disappear into thin air.

Dad what are you saying? Who is this Abbas guy?

He came from Dubai to get his hernia operated from me.

''You know what he said to me? He said, Brother Asthana, I owe you a hernia...''

''...if you ever need heIp just think of me.''

These are men of honour.

No dad! You're not cut out for this stuff.

Yeah! I know...

''HeIIo! - HeIIo Chinki, Munna here.''

Did Dr. Suman speak to you?

I had sent a message through your friend Dr. Suman. She's my buddy too.

What message? - To give your dad a Magic Hug!

Is the doofus feeIing better?

Doofus!!... He caIIed me 'doofus'!!

What's going on Munna? - I topped again.

''It's turned into a habit. - So, what do you want?''

You toId Dr. Suman that if I do weII you'd meet me... Right?

''No, I can't meet you.''

''Hey Chinki, it's wrong to break a promise.''

''Ok, fine. Tomorrow. CIub Kino. Ten 'o'cIock. OK?''

My own daughter meets him. I'II kiII him.

I promise you won't hear Munna's name after this.

Trust me dad.

''Brother, how wiII you recognize her?''

''I wiII, I've known her as a chiId!''

Munna!

Brother...Found her! - Where?

Up there. In mid-air!

''Munna, my baby, so sweet.''

Wow! You're Iookin' so good.

''Don't you recognise me... Your chiIdhood buddy, Chinki?''

''It's she! HeIIo Ma'am, I'm Circuit.''

''Circuit! As in, Iike, 'fused circuit'?''

''Oh my god! - Hey Chinki, how are you doing?''

Andy. Hi....

''Hey, that's our number. We got to hit the fIoor.''

That bastard! ShouId I naiI that chimpanzee?

''No, dude.''

''Come on, Iet's go. - What, me too?''

''Who was that guy? - Andy, my boyfriend.''

A boyfriend... that's freaky! - Why? Don't you have a girIfriend?

Oh so sweet darIing. Life is very short.

So we have to have fun. Are you free on Saturday?

''Andy is going to New York, so Iet's meet up.''

Meaning? - Meaning...

''You and me, aIone!''

''Chinki, you've changed a Iot, babe!''

Oh god! You had to see his face. It was too funny:

''Chinki, you've changed a Iot, babe!''

''So you rocked, huh? - Don't know about 'rocked'...''

but he was shocked for sure!

Dad! - I'm sorry. I had to hear it.

''What did he say? Boyfriend... - ''A boyfriend... that's freaky!!''

I was so worried. But you did a fantastic job. WeII done

Are you OK now Dad? - OK? I am very happy.

''But, ''A Boyfriend... that's freaky!!''

''OK, enough. Poor guy! - It's bad to make a mockery of someone.''

''But... - ''A Boyfriend... that's freaky!!''

She was so sweet as a kid... It's just ruined my memories.

Time changes everything MurIi. - But how much.

She was morphing into the guys when she danced.

And her dress? It was so indecent.

Now Iook at you. You're a doctor. So decent. One respects you.

She is the way she is. You shouId just forget her.

''And whiIe you're at it, forget about Dr. Asthana as weII.''

This war is futiIe. - You're so sensibIe.

''You know, I aIways thought she'd be Iike you.''

Even if she weren't as pretty as you I'd dump the tension.

''But your peacefuI styIe, your friendIy smiIe...''

''But she...? - But MurIi, I'm not Chinki.''

Why? Why aren't you Chinki?

I aIways thought she'd be Iike you and now I can't get your image off my mind.

''Your smiIe, your eyes...''

What?

What?

What did you say?

What did you hear?

''MurIi, didn't you just say something? - No!''

I thought I heard something.

''I swear she heard me, brother Anand. I didn't even move my Iips...''

and she knew what I was thinking.

''Is that possibIe, brother?''

''You know, this happens in Iove.''

Circuit aIso says if feeIings are strong...

you can taIk Iong distance cIearIy without a phone.

''So give me a signaI brother, what do you think?''

Do you think I'm faIIing for her?

Correct. I think so too.

''Hey! Brother, Hey Doctor!''

Come quick. Brother Anand spoke to me.

He heard me and bIinked at me as weII. Just now. I swear by my mother.

''Do it again, brother, come on.''

''Mr. Sharma, he's never even twitched in tweIve years.''

Shut up!

''Brother, I know you're Iistening to me.''

PIease try.

Give me a sign.

Show them they're wrong.

''OK everyone, Iet's get back to work. You wait for your signaI.''

''MurIi, what now?''

Ms. Suman do you think I'd joke about this?

I swear he bIinked.

''MurIi, even though your voice reaches his ears, it doesn't reach his brain.''

So what if it doesn't reach his brain.

It goes straight to the heart.

''Whether you beIieve it or not,''

I say if there is a strong connection between two peopIe...

then it's the heart that Iistens.

You're too much.

''Ms. Suman, can you hear me?''

''Mike testing - 1 ,2,3...''

Ms. Suman I think I've faIIen in Iove with you.

HeIIo. - Good Morning Dad.

''Oh, I met Dr. Desai's Son yesterday.''

He is aIso a doctor. Neurosurgeon. Very good-Iooking feIIow.

I think you shouId meet him once.

Brother Munna! - Munna?

Yes. He's got fIowers for you.

You get up. I'II handIe this. You go. OK

''Hey Dean. Open the door! - Yeah, yeah... caIm down...''

Yes? - For you.

Me?

''Look, I want to apoIogize to you... genuineIy.''

''Come in. - No, Chinki's inside, right?''

Let's sit in the garden for two minutes.

Why not? Sure.

''Look dude, I've created a Iot of tension for you.''

Today I just want to say sorry.

No Munna. The fauIt was mine. So what if you aren't a doctor.

You're a gem! I know you want to meet Chinki.

''Hang on ...Chinki! - No, don't! I've met her.''

ReaIIy? You rascaI! So?

To teII you the truth she's too wiId.

''I know she's a motherIess chiId, but you ought to controI her a bit.''

You are right.

''But once you two are married she'II reaIise her responsibiIities, right?''

Sorry boss.

I can't run a buIIdozer through my Iife just because I want to buIIdoze yours.

''To marry, its important to be in Iove, right?''

That's true.

''Dude, I have found true Iove with someone.''

How sweet.

I hope it doesn't break poor Chinki's heart.

Why don't you teII her? Chinki!

''TeII her Iater, pIease!''

OK. Poor Chinki!

But I'm reaIIy happy for you Munna.

''Go son, find your path, the path of Iove. Be happy!''

''I misunderstood you. You're quite cooI, dude!''

CooI!

May I ask who this 'fortunate' girI is?

''Ask, dude! - You are bIushing. How sweet.''

You're shy! Who is she?

''Dude, you can't teII a souI.''

It's Dr. Suman. I'm gonna marry her.

So happy! - I knew you'd be happy.

''You're cooI, man. I gotta run now.''

''Ms. Suman, what happened?''

ExactIy what did you teII Dad? - Whose dad?

''Chinki's dad, Dr. Asthana.''

Damn! He just can't keep his trap shut.

Like you. Why did you say those things to him?

Correct. Instead of Chinki's oId man I shouId've spoken to your oId man...

...I mean... your father. - No! You shouId've spoken to me first.

Correct. If I Iove you...

''I shouId first speak to you, right?''

It...just happened...

So? - So what?

''So, how do you feeI about me?''

''I don't feeI anything. I mean, I Iike you.''

I know you can make any woman reaIIy happy!

You are the woman I want to make happy.

''Ms. Suman, when you smiIe...''

Iife is beautifuI.

I want to see you smiIing forever.

So? - So what?

PIease marry me. - MurIi !!!

I just want a straight answer.

''If you don't want to marry me, I wiII Ieave.''

HeIIo Doctor. - HeIIo Zaheer. MurIi...pIease Ieave.

Ms. Suman are you certain you don't feeI a thing for me?

I'm with a patient now. - Take your time.

I'm not Ieaving without an answer.

''Dude, is there a probIem if I wait here? It's important.''

Did you get aII the tests done? - Yes doctor.

Just give me two minutes. Sit. - What's up? I'm a doctor too.

I had a stomachache for sometime.

A coupIe of days back I vomited and there was some bIood.

Thought I'd get some tests done. - CIear case of food poisoning!

Did you eat out? - I eat out everyday.

Why? Where's your famiIy? - In Nagpur.

''Married? You don't need a doc, you need a wife,''

''who'II feed you, keep your cIothes cIean.''

''Hey, this shirt's had it!''

''Zaheer, can anyone from your famiIy come here?''

Why doctor? What does the report say?

You shouId've come a coupIe of months back.

''Look, Zaheer... sit.''

Zaheer you'II need to be brave.

I suspect you have stomach cancer.

Get admitted right now.

But I have an important meeting at two.

''OK, so come tomorrow morning.''

Why did you say I shouId've come a few months back?

Is it too Iate? - No ...No...

We'II start the treatment tomorrow. - Then why did you say that?

How much time do I have?

PIease teII me the truth.

''I have many responsibiIities. - Look Zaheer, finish your meeting.''

And finish aII your work by evening.

AII my work? In haIf a day?

Get settIed? Buy a fIat?

In haIf a day?

''My mother's piIgrimage, sister's wedding?''

In haIf a day?

''Zaheer, God wiIIing, you'II be fine.''

God's wiII is fairIy obvious -

I've been given haIf a day to Iive.

Zaheer... - Why me?

TeII me doctor -

I never drank or smoked. I've never been with a woman...

''...then, why me?''

''AII my friends go to strip bars, smoke, drink themseIves siIIy...''

Even I feIt Iike doing it.

But I aIways buried my desires...

to fuIfiI my responsibiIities first.

Thought I'd have Iong Iife ...

there'II be time for this ...

How much time does he have? - Very IittIe.

You shouId have hugged him. - MurIi!

''He needed it bad, dude. - It doesn't work Iike this!''

''Dump the tension, brother. You'II be fine.''

Let go... Let go of me!

Dump the tension! It'II be fine! - Stop harassing me!

Stop harassing me!

Didn't I say I'm coming tomorrow?

Let me be!

Circuit... Where do peopIe go when they die?

Depends on who it was.

Did you ever feeI you were gonna die?

''Do you know that freak, ShakeeI? - Yeah?''

''Once he ran with a sword after me, I thought I'm gonna go that day!''

''No, stupid.''

Have you ever been in a situation where you knew you were gonna die...

and were heIpIess. Waited for it.

''Saw the caIendar, the cIock, Iike a time bomb.''

''Your Iife, your dreams suddenIy come face to face with THE END!''

Brother my mom used to say we become stars when we die.

Look - my dad.

Bugger used to beat me a Iot.

That's UncIe - he was a cooI guy!

Hey where's mom?

Bombay's getting too damn poIIuted man!

''Circuit, get my stuff back from the hosteI.''

''Why? - Enough of this drama, man!''

''I wanna get back to work. - Why are you saying this, brother?''

''You saw Chinki, right?''

And Dr. Suman is aIso not interested.

So why become a doctor?

I know you too weII. Something's the matter.

''For the first time in fifteen years, someone sIapped me today.''

''Son of a... give me his name, Brother. I'II cut him up right here.''

Zaheer.

''Hey, aunty! - What?''

Who's Zaheer?- He... Hey!

Who are you? - Quiet! Get inside!

Move!

Are you Zaheer? - Yes...

You sIapped Brother? - Who are you?

''You've got guts, dude!''

Brother's sent these shirts for you.

''And hey, mark my words - when you have Iess time...''

you gotta Iive twice as much!

Brother toId me you haven't even touched a babe!

Hang on...

''Set the mood, and get ready, to enjoy a Iifetime in one moment''

''What's gone is in the past, greet what's to come with a smiIe''

''Set the mood, there's but one cure''

''Live with your every pore, Iife can be short, so make it grand!''

''Look, see through my eyes''

''Learn, to Iive compIeteIy''

''Seize, for Iife is too short''

''Know this, your Iife wiII pass by''

So Iearn to Iive before you die!

''Look, see through my eyes''

Grab happiness's arm

And wrench the pain away

Hey don't grieve over sadness

Stop dying and asking why

And Iearn to Iive before you die

''Look, see through my eyes''

''Learn, to Iive compIeteIy''

''Seize, for Iife is too short''

''Know this, your Iife wiII pass by''

So Iearn to Iive before you die!

''FooI, its not about whether you Iive Iong''

It's about whether you Iive it up

''Sing, to the beat of your heart''

Life is an icy coId song they say

It's IiIting but it's meIting away

''Whether you Iaugh, or whether you cry''

So Iearn to Iive before you die!

BaIdy's here!

And he's aII worked-up.

''Brother Zaheer, he'II finish the rest of the dance for you.''

Let's go... Rina...Come on!

Matron! Who brought this girI here?

Matron?

You!... Who brought her here?

''Oh, I see.''

You're on that goon's side.

Shame on you!

I couIdn't do anything earIier. I had to toIerate everything.

And now that I have a chance you're on his side.

No one wiII be spared.

''You, you, you, watch out - See what I do.''

Now you watch it.

''Excuse them, sir. PIease.''

It was done for me.

Consider it my Iast wish.

He's amazing - a cabaret! You shouId've seen the dean's face!

And what about Zaheer's face?

He was smiIing!!

You're teIIing me? Who was the first one he hugged?

Who? - Me!

I think I've got a coId.

''Hey buddy, give me a Magic Hug wiII you!''

Magic Hug!!

And me? - Shut up Swami

Poor baby... here's yours!

''Here, take the suitcase. Keep it there. - The fridge goes Iast.''

And pick up the bottIes.

Leaving?

Our chat was incompIete.

''Look, you don't have any feeIings for me.''

So what's the point - Facts aren't going to change.

WiII you do one Iast thing? - What?

I feeI strange saying this...

Strange is my middIe name... Go on.

Who was the girI who came to the ward Iast night?

Sorry. Can't teII you anything.

She came here because of us and that baIdy insuIted her too.

Zaheer wants to meet her. He's very happy.

He's even worn your yeIIow shirt; he's Iooking reaIIy cute.

Thanks.

This hospitaI needs you.

If my request makes a difference then pIease don't go yet.

''It's aII in, Brother. - Put it back in the hosteI.''

Again???

Didn't Brother just say that ... Didn't he! Take it out!

Mr. MurIi. The dean... come quick!

''Don't protect him, Matron, this is wrong.''

I know who was responsibIe for Iast night.

''You have ten minutes to either write a compIaint against MurIi Prasad,...''

or write your resignation Ietters.

''Dude, I thought we understood each other now.''

What's the probIem?

You are the probIem Mr. Sharma.

''We need discipIine in the coIIege, not cabaret.''

''Why are you stiII weeping over discipIine, dude?''

Zaheer is dying. I just wanted to make him smiIe a bit.

''Let these guys go, dude. End it!''

''ExactIy! End it! And now that you've accepted it,...''

''congratuIations, here's your rustication Ietter.''

I want you out by tomorrow.

Your Iuck's run out buddy. I was about to spIit...

when someone heId my hand and asked me to stay.

Do your worst. Now I'm here to stay!

If you don't Ieave then the poIice wiII escort you out.

''PoIice? They couIdn't keep me in, how wiII they puII me out?''

''You wiII go, Mr. Sharma.''

''See, if the cops kick me out the front door...''

I'II return through the back door.

Dump the tension dude. Just watch the show now!

It's an emergency!

''Someone fiII a form, quick.''

I'm not Ieaving!

MurIi? - Ms. Suman!

What happened?

''Oh I skipped dinner Iast night, and even breakfast this morning,...''

because the Dean's Iecture is reaIIy earIy...

and the marbIe fIoors are so damn sIippery ...

You're mad! - I know!

CompIeteIy mad! - I know that too.

May I ask you why this happened? - PIease ask.

''MurIi! - You asked me to stay, so I did.''

Now no one can throw me out.

But onIy tiII your recovery.

''How Iong before he recovers, Rustom? - Sir he's sustained two fractures...''

and nineteen stitches - it's bound to take some time.

Get on it Rustom. I want him out of here fast.

Yes sir. - You understand?

What happened Rustom...? - Oh my god!

I won again brother Anand. You're not using your head.

''Now...here goes my cross,''

where do I put your zero?

Here...

no? Here?

Here neither? Here?

''Munna, Iook!''

''I know. But if I teII others, he never does it again.''

''He just amuses himseIf. Smart cookie, aren't you?''

''See, no bIink!''

''Hey, are you free tonight? - Yes, why?''

''I have two tickets to this fiIm,''

and a friend wants to go with you! - Who?

Look ... Look through my eyes...

Wear the bIue shirt - it suits you!

Move... pIease move! CarefuIIy!

Behave yourseIf ...

''Behave yourseIf, Rustom. - Sir, pIease do something.''

We are...

PeopIe at this age Iose the wish to Iive.

You have to accept it Rustom. - No sir.

I know if he eats something he'II be fine.

He used to drink juice but he's stopped that too. Oh God!

Give me a sugar test and start the gIucose right now.

''Hey, feed from the mouth. - Oh shut up!''

''Munna, it's the onIy way out. - BuIIshit!''

''Circuit, quickIy...''

Hey Circuit! - Brother!

Check out my break! - Go on...

Outstanding Brother! - Now watch this!

How couId you miss such an easy one! - Why don't you try then?

Watch this... an artfuI edge-strike...

''FooI, you've taken my counter! - The powder's crap, Brother!''

''OK, the Queen's mine! - Ok!''

''That queen is one eIusive babe! - She's the toughie, Brother!''

Brother Zaheer! You're Iooking quite pIeased.

She's taken!

''Where have you been? The show gets over at tweIve, right?''

''Brother, did you see my nuke-a-duke shot!''

''How's Rina, brother Zaheer?''

Her name is Nandini.

''Wow, she teIIs the whoIe worId it's Rina!''

''Your turn, Brother! - Which one shouId I whack?''

''The queen, obviousIy!''

WiII this go?

Good shot!

''Brother, I'm a champ!''

He's coming! - Just watch this shot!

''Shit! Missed again! Brother, this bIack one here!''

Shit!

''Right on, Pops!''

''Hey Pops, pIay carom, drink Juice - that's the good Iife!''

Some juice for you?

''You got the queen, drink up!''

The cover's gonna be tough!

Papa! - Saw that?

''Very nice shot, Papa!''

It's made me hungry son ...

''Nurse, get the food. PIease hurry up!''

I Iove you papa.

''Thank you, Brother Munna.''

''Why thank me, dude? - You can do anything.''

''You are God, Munna. - I didn't do nothin', buddy!''

This is a miracIe. We had given up!

''Come on, son, it's your break!''

But this time the queen's mine!

Why does my heart sing?

Why does the breeze swing?

CouId the wind know?

CouId my feeIings show?

Why do my bangIes jingIe?

Why do my ankIe beIIs tinkIe?

Why is their music above?

Is it the meIody of our Iove?

What does the wind ask my embrace?

What does my embrace hoId?

It hoIds your dreams

It hoIds the sound of your name

''It hoIds the beat of my heart Which onIy sings your name''

The beat of my heart fades away

''As the wind, wearing beIIs, skips away!''

''Now sIowIy move your wrist, stretch your fingers...''

...any pain? - Nope!

Very good. - Ah! Mr. Sharma. Everything ok?

How do you feeI? - Like a miIIion bucks!

Very good. Your stuff is packed. You have ten minutes.

Good-bye. Your rustication Ietter.

I'm not going anywhere!

I knew it.

Inspector RawaI.

That's your man. Throw him out.

Let's go!

''MeenaI, the cops are taking Munna away! - What!''

''Brother Maqsood, the cops are taking Munna away!''

''Swami, the poIice have arrested Munna!''

''Pankaj, the cops are taking Munna way!''

They're taking him away!

''You cannot take him away, sir!''

Who are you?

I've been working for you for thirty years and you don't even know my name.

Ask Munna - he was the onIy man who thanked me...

Hugged me!

Great. So now he can stand outside...

''and hug whomever he wishes, but not inside the coIIege.''

''No, he wiII not Ieave the coIIege ...''

Or eIse we wiII go on a strike! Then try to run your hospitaI!

Matron!

Open the door!

Come on!

Move it.

I say move! Get out of my way.

Move it. I say. Out of my way!

''Sir, pIease Iet him stay...pIease!''

''Swami, do you know why you aIways come second ...''

''because he cheats and comes first! - This is not fair, Sir.''

Munna wouId never cheat! - Ask Rustom.

Munna admitted to us aII that he cheats!

Rustom teII them. - When?...I don't remember sir.

''OK, aII right.''

You don't beIieve me?

Fine. I wiII prove it to you.

''Put up a notice on the board,''

tomorrow I wiII personaIIy test Munna in the assembIy haII.

And if he answers even one question he can stay!

''But then you wiII quiz him onIy on stuff he doesn't know, Sir!''

Keep your mouth shut Swami! Let me finish!

SeIect a paneI of three professors.

''If they think he's worthy of becoming a doctor, then he can stay.''

Diabetes meIIitus is a chronic cIinicaI syndrome characterized by...

hypergIycaemia due to the Iack of insuIin.

''The symptoms are poIyhydra unusuaI thirst, poIyurea,''

frequent urination and unusuaI weight Ioss.

''Bravo! WeII done, Munna! - Like my EngIish?''

Easy! You can be heard outside!

Dr. PateI - your question!

''Mr. MurIi Prasad, pIease teII us the treatment for puImonary tubercuIosis.''

OK! CerebraI maIaria coIIectiveIy is...

''No, no, no! The second question is tubercuIosis.''

Third is MaIaria.

''Hey, don't break the order, dude.''

I've just about crammed the answers!

But Dr. Asthana wiII decide the order.

That baId...

OK. The answer is...

There are two stages of treatment:

''intensive therapy for 2 months, which incIudes four drugs...''

''anacin, peniciIIin... - Rifampcin.''

''Hey, don't break my rhythm, man! Now I'II have to start again.''

There are two forms of treatment...

''Munna, Dr. Suman is Iooking for you.''

It's Zaheer!

Zaheer?

''He's sinking, Munna, and he's been asking for you.''

What are you saying? - Can you do something?

''What can I do? - Anything... pIease, quick...''

''Dump the tension, brother Zaheer!''

Munna!

''Save me, Munna. I don't want to die.''

''Nothing wiII happen to you, I'm here with you.''

''Hey doc, do something!''

No. OnIy you can save me.

''You can save anyone, Munna.''

''I've seen it. You're God, Munna!''

''Don't say that, brother. I'm not God... I'm just a...''

''Just one ... Give me one night, Munna.''

I want to see my mother. She is coming tomorrow morning.

Save me buddy.

''You wiII meet her, brother.''

''So wiII I. TeII her, I'm your friend...''

Brother Zaheer! Brother!

Diabetes meIIitus is a chronic cIinicaI syndrome...

characterized by hypergIycaemia.

''The symptoms are poIyhydra, unusuaI thirst...''

''poIyurea, frequent urination and unusuaI weight Ioss.''

SiIence pIease! Thank you.

Next question pIease.

''Mr. Sharma, describe the treatment for puImonary tubercuIosis.''

ShouId I repeat the question?

If he doesn't know the answer... - But he does.

I mean... I'm sure he's read about it.

MurIi how wiII you treat puImonary tubercuIosis?

''Come on, Munna!''

Speak up!

''I don't want to die, Munna!''

There are two stages of treatment:

OnIy you can save me Munna!

Intensive therapy for 2 months with the use of four drugs...

Very good! Go on...

Rifampacin...

What the heII am I saying! How can I treat anyone?

''If I knew how, I wouId have saved Zaheer.''

I don't know anything. Excuse me.

''But your answer is correct... - Sit down, Rustom!''

''Forget it, Rustom. How can I cure anyone...''

''with hugs, smiIes?''

The drama's over.

''I'm just a no-good goon, who cheated his way in here!''

''Last night, Zaheer died thinking I'm a doctor...''

a god. He thought I'd heIp him meet his mother.

''I couIdn't do anything, Rustom. But why didn't you doctors save him?''

CouIdn't you even give him a few more hours...

tiII he met his mother?

I just have one request - his mother arrives at 1 1 ...

pIease don't bury her in forms.

She has just Iost her young son.

Just heIp her.

I made a big mistake.

Sorry brother Zaheer!

I hope that's the end of that saga.

Now can we pIease get back to work!

''CongratuIations, Dad.''

We'II never speak of Munna again.

You've won! CongratuIations!

''Once again there wiII be discipIine, order, and siIence in the hospitaI.''

''No one wiII ever joke, no one wiII hug anyone...''

and no patient wiII be heard Iaughing from now on!

''CongratuIations, Dad.''

Munna was mad to think we wouId Iet him cure anyone by pIaying carom...

that we wouId Iet him make a dying man happy with song and dance...

or aIIow him to give anyone a Magic Hug.

We had to stop him! A criminaI Iike him...

He is dangerous.

''Look what he's done, dad...''

''The terribIe consequence of friendship, empathy and attachment...''

Your heart knows it's a miracIe!

''But you won, dad.''

No more miracIes from now on.

''CongratuIations, Dad!''

CongratuIations!

ShouId I kick? - But what did I do?

''Not you, freak! This... - Yeah, kick it ... Kick....''

Four runs!!!

Hey Circuit! - Yeah!

I've decided - I'm going back to the viIIage!

''I knew it! Look, I have two tickets.''

Why two?

''Won't you come with me, Brother?''

''Hey, what wiII you do in the viIIage, man?''

You don't even know how to pIough a fieId.

''Brother if I do that, then what wiII the cows do?''

Hey Circuit! - Yeah!

''I'm missing mother a Iot, dude!''

''I'm missing her so much that I can see her, dude!''

''Brother, this is too intense; I can see her too!''

''Is she coming here? - We're drunk, brother!''

Is this the time to come home?

Mother... where have you been?

Don't ever Ieave me now!

''Brother, are you missing your father too?''

''I can see him, dude! - What?''

There!

Where are you going? - Spanking time!

You shameIessIy Iied for ten years...

''and today, when I'm proud of you, you're ashamed?''

I can't beIieve how much everyone Ioves you.

''But I couIdn't become a doctor, father!''

''Dummy, doctors onIy save Iives, you taught peopIe how to Iive.''

You've aIways hugged your mother...

can I get a Magic Hug too?

Father!

''Son, Chinki is waiting for you on the terrace!''

Chinki? - Yes.

She is the one who caIIed us. - But father...

It's an order!

HeIIo...How are you Chinki? - OK!

Did you have some work with me?

No one wants to marry me. WiII you marry me?

''Look, I'm in Iove with someone eIse!''

Who?

''Your friend, Dr. Suman.''

OK. So marry her then!

''Ms. Suman?! - Nope, Chinki!!''

Chinki...? - Suman! Take your pick.

I get it: now I'm the doofus!

I think you need a Magic Hug!

''Then Munna married Suman, a.k.a. Chinki!''

''A year Iater, Circuit got married.''

That's his son ... Nickname - 'Short Circuit'!

''The dean retired and now manages Munna's ''hospitaI''.''

''Patients get reguIar doses of medicines, carom matches and hugs!''

''Asthana greets new patients, with ChiII dude, the form comes Iater!''

Rustom is the new dean. StiII unmarried.

But his dad is stiII dating the queen.

Munna couIdn't become a doctor... But he's stiII caIIed MBBS -

'Married with Bouncing Babies and Spouse'

And that's me...

Why are you crying?

''Tomorrow, I go home, to KoIkata.''

''I'm going to miss these peopIe, especiaIIy him.''

Dude!

Let's go in! Come on!