Original subtitles

I mean, if you really want to...

Take a chance?

Take a chance on this guy.

Make him wait.

Make him get his life in order.

Even maybe go so far as to find his own job.

How long should I make him wait?

Three months?

- Three months? - Three months.

If he's worth it, he'll be there.

Where will you be...

...on May 8th at 5:02 p. m.?

We'll land in a few minutes.

- Want to think it over? - Do you?

Absolutely not.

Top of the Empire State Building?

It's not the tallest building anymore, but you can't miss it.

May 8th, 5:02 p. m.?

- Nervous? - Oh, yeah.

Look...

If one of us doesn't show...

...we won't pester each other, okay? No phone calls, no contact.

All or nothing. We'll never speak again.

All right. If you're not there, I'll understand.

If you're not, I'll understand.

I'll be there.

Do you like kids?

Yeah.

- Terry! - What?

I like watching you move.

Good.

I like watching you move.

You go first.

Okay.

- Here he comes. - There he is, let's go.

Make sure we get both of them.

Let's set a wedding date right now.

Over here!

Lynn, give us a date.

- How about another kiss? - Give us a commitment, Mike!

A little closer together.

Terry! Terry, over here.

Lynn, is it true you're part of a group trying to buy NBC?

Lynn, when will you give Mike his own show?

Will Mike be on your April special?

Charlie, get the bags.

Okay, let's get out of here.

Get back to me about the Dallas affiliate problem.

Great.

How was your trip?

Trip...

We have to talk about that?

- Mr. Edwards is on the phone. - Thank you.

Hello?

Not interested.

Next?

I don't need another bank.

I've got banks falling over each other to get in on this deal.

If they're that eager...

...and they want to have lunch with me, I'll listen.

What else? No, tell Hong Kong they can wait.

Just tell them they can wait.

We've got enough for three months, six months.

Miss McKay?

Miss McKay, may I have the key to your bags?

Annie, don't unpack.

What? If you wanted limousines...

...you should've stayed with Lynn. That'll go in the back.

You bring gas money?

Oh, okay.

Now I got it.

All I was asking for was a reason. You changed your mind.

- We don't need to talk about it. - Good.

That's what Campbell's soups are:

Lou, can you take something from the 5th take...

...and combine it with something from the 16th take?

That's what Campbell's soups are:

Good job.

That's what Campbell's soups are:

- Ed was good. - Ed was great.

That's a wrap, ladies.

Terry, can I speak to you for a second?

- Are you coming? - See you later.

Ed was great.

- Dinner at his place? - A weekend in the country.

- The Hamptons? - The Vineyard.

Did you say yes?

No.

What do you do for money when you're not singing about soup?

- Good question. - I have an idea if you're interested.

We're persona non grata at Weaver Productions. So what?

If you're meant to be with Lynn, you'll end up with Lynn.

I'm with you on this. Let's let nature take its course.

- You want to call her? - No.

I was joking anyway.

It's Sheldon, your accountant!

What a surprise. What are the chances of that?

- How you doing? - It's been a while.

I haven't seen you since '89 when we got audited.

Uncle Sam said we couldn't deduct a $60,000 Porsche as an office.

I told him it had a phone.

It's perfect that you came by because...

...we were just discussing some big career changes for Mike.

Maybe this would be a good time to review his financial status.

TV not working out?

The Lynn thing is not going great.

What's the next move?

I'm not sure.

You have a pretty healthy nut here.

You got the leases on the houses, the lease on the car.

Restaurant bills. Did you ever consider eating at home?

What do I have in reserve?

I'm not sure what you mean by "reserve. "

I've had some good years.

Yes, but that was before me, Mike.

Remember the fried chicken? We lost a bundle.

That was great chicken.

If any chicken had a chance of taking off...

You've never been an aggressive saver.

That was never important to you.

What happens if I...

- If I, like, simplified my life? - Give up Call Waiting?

Get rid of the guy who takes care of your house while you're on the road?

Get rid of me? You can do your own taxes, pay your own bills.

When did you last write a check?

You don't even know what a stamp costs.

Good. Very subtle. Would you give us a few minutes?

I don't know what a stamp costs.

Who needs to know that? You go to the post office and ask for one.

They don't ask, "How much is it?"

- Twenty-nine cents. - Twenty-nine? When did that happen?

- What is the deal with you? - I want to simplify my life.

When it comes to my life. But you have a great life. I love your life.

It's my life, right?

I want to wake up and be excited about what I do.

What makes you happy? What do you want?

I don't know.

Something to do with the game.

- Paint. - Paint.

I don't like what I've been doing. After a while, you forget.

- What do you forget? - What it's like to love something.

Really?

I'm gonna set up a physical for you, if that's all right.

I never felt better in my life.

Blue urban barn jacket?

Single dad, doctor.

Father-IKnows-Best vest?

Single dad, real estate.

Single dad, lawyer.

You don't care.

I know.

- I do. - It's 10:00.

Everybody, come to the middle!

Say hello to someone new.

This is her first day. Remember yours?

Say hello to Terry!

You're in. Let's go.

Hey! Don't you get a special nostalgic rush...

...every time you eat at Chasen's?

First it's Ron and Nancy, then...

Two more bowls of borscht. Want some?

Give me a couple more bowls. I could eat 100 of those.

Then it's Sid Caesar, next day you see...

I have something to tell you.

Hold it. I got something more important.

Willie Mays, 1954.

You know what this is worth? Neither do I.

It's probably gone up $10 since we've been here.

These guys get hundreds of dollars just to sign a baseball.

They put Ernie Banks in a room with 10,000 baseballs...

...and let him go until his hand cramps.

- You want me to sign footballs? - That's not what I meant.

But it's not a bad idea.

Your autograph would sell like hotcakes.

I'm talking about something bigger. Listen, this is huge.

Home Shopping Network.

You're not following me.

I've talked to them. They'd give you a piece of the real estate.

Five percent on every card, every ball...

...every jockstrap that you sell.

You'd have fun. Talk to Mickey Mantle one day, then...

...Nellie Fox, Johnny Unitas.

Nellie Fox is dead. He had cancer.

I know that.

I wasn't talking about Nellie Fox, the Nellie Fox.

I was using that as a generic.

You're not getting the point.

- I ordered two. - I thought you were joking.

You'll know when I'm joking.

Sorry, I'll bring another.

Would you buy a jock from this man?

Look, that is not the average.

I took a coaching job today.

I took a coaching job.

Great.

A coaching job?

- Where? - Hillsboro State Teachers College.

Boy, I'm not familiar with that institution.

It's in western Pennsylvania between Erie...

...and Loretto Federal Penitentiary.

Good place.

God, what has happened to you?

Then he starts with the DNA.

He says it's the basic structure of life.

It exists only to replicate itself.

True.

Which it does in a woman every 9 months, but in a man...

...it could replicate itself millions of times a day.

He's trying to tell me DNA forces men...

...to screw around more than women. It forces them!

A guy dumb enough to tell me he'll screw around before he screws me...

...can take his DNA and replicate it up his ass.

But he's telling the truth. Sooner or later they all screw around.

It's always the boys against the girls.

The boys always try to run up the score.

Look, I gotta go. All right?

Friday. Right?

Bye, babe.

That makes you uncomfortable. Talking about men.

- No. Why? - You never talk about them.

What would I say?

You never date them, either.

If you have some other sexual preference, you can just say so.

You're among friends.

Hey, thanks. And vice versa.

All right!

- Nice to see you again. - How are you?

Would you take these to my room?

Not the painting. Just leave that. I'm in a tiny touch of a hurry.

There seems to have been a mistake. Don't you usually take a suite?

No mistake. The cheaper the better.

Come in.

Now I get it.

What?

Come in.

IKen!

Hi...

How are you?

- You look good. - So do you.

I'm in a hell of a rush.

- What time is it? - It's 4:35.

I found a few of your things at the apartment you might like.

- Terry, can we talk? - I can't now.

I was an idiot when you left. I still don't understand, but I'm sorry.

No, you were very good about it. What time is it?

Now? Well, it's 4:35 and 32 seconds.

Where are you going?

I can't be late.

You're hopeless.

Taxi! Taxi!

Tony and Rebecca asked for you.

- How are they? - They're fine.

Taxi! I don't know how you're doing...

...but I'll tell them you look happy.

Thanks. Tell them hello for me.

I will. I'll call you, okay?

- Where am I going? - Where are you going?

Downtown.

I'll call you.

Empire State Building.

This city's problem is traffic. Why do people murder and rob banks?

Because they're frustrated, that's why.

I could've been a ball player. Maybe not the majors, but the minors.

Could you cut through the park?

What? The park?

The park is jammed, bumper to bumper.

Michael Jordan's playing in the minors.

What do you think they're paying him?

Peanuts.

How tall are you?

You look tall for a woman.

- What, 5' 10"? - There's no faster way?

Helicopter. Maybe.

I like tall women. Some men don't like tall women.

- Bureaucratic quagmire. IKnow how to eliminate the quagmire?

Elect a mayor who's not a politician, that's how.

- You know how to find one? - I'll get out here.

Here you go.

Lady, that's a 50.

It's for you. I'm getting married, and I wanted you to know first.

For a $42 tip, I...

Miss McKay, can you hear me?

I'm Dr. Punch.

I'll touch you and I want you to tell me if you feel it.

It's important for you to remain still.

If it's too painful to talk, just blink your eyes.

Mr. Gambril!

You forgot this.

I had to take off the wrapping, it was torn and damp.

- You didn't forget it? - No.

You just left this for housekeeping?

I choose the pictures for the restaurant.

I think it's very good. I'm not a critic, but I like it.

- What do you like about it? - I don't know.

It makes you wonder, is it a real place, is it a real person?

- Is she? - Is she what?

Real.

I don't know.

- Is it for sale? - It's yours.

No, I couldn't. It must be worth something.

Not to me. Thanks.

Janet, Glenda and Dixie were all married to him...

...some at the same time.

- Tough break. - I had to take her for an ultrasound.

Wait, go back.

- Hawkeye offense moved the ball convincingly.

The Buckeye defense slaughtered the...

Where do they get a name like Buckeye?

Where do they get "Rams" or "Trojans"?

The Trojans? The mind reels.

What is a Buckeye?

Ohio's the Buckeye state.

Do their eyes stick out like buck teeth?

A buckeye is...

What's a buckeye?

A buckeye.

Guys, I'm a little pooped.

It's okay. Don't worry.

I have to go back to work anyway.

I've got a meeting with a new group.

You know what that's like. It'll be boring.

Do you want this off?

Please.

Well... I'll call you.

- Thanks. - IKen.

I'll see you, Tina. Take care.

You need anything else?

So how's it with Mariel?

Ariel. She's allergic to the dog.

Hector's a Dandy Dinmont Terrier. He doesn't have dander.

Yes, he does. She can live with it.

- Do you mind if I ask you a question? - No.

Have you been seeing anybody?

Not lately.

Of course. I mean, since we...

No.

I haven't been seeing anybody.

You don't sound convinced.

Boy, you're a tough nut to crack. Come here.

Sorry. I can come back.

It's all right, I'm just leaving.

You know where I am if you need me.

So call.

I will.

She's all yours.

So, guess what?

I can not only feel the sheet...

...but I have movement in my right leg.

You can't see it, but I feel it...

...sometimes.

We won't operate until we see if there's permanent damage.

Can't you be more specific in some way?

How will that help?

Can I tell you something I haven't told anyone?

I want to keep this from someone.

I don't want to see him until I can walk.

Yes, Rau?

She gave me this to send to you.

She said it was for the young lady who was here with you.

Thank you, Rau.

Hello.

Happy Holidays, Mr. Gambril.

- Merry Chris... - Merry Christmas.

- I got you something. - Oh, you shouldn't have.

- Merry Christmas. - A hat.

One size fits all?

Walk with me.

Thanks.

- I've got good news and bad news. - What's the good news?

- I got us a meeting with the Giants. - Giants?

Let me amend that. I got a meeting with Tisch himself.

He's a fan. We'll have lunch tomorrow.

The best part is we talked about you being quarterback coach.

Then he mentions offensive coordinator.

- What's the bad news? - You might be successful.

I know how hard that is for you to handle, but I'll see you through it.

I need a drink.

What are you doing?

I have a table over here.

Oh, it's Lynn Weaver! I can't believe that's Lynn Weaver.

What are the chances of bumping into her? She looks great.

She looks great.

He's right, you look great.

- So do you. - Thanks.

Why don't you join us?

All the art here is by celebrities, did you know that?

This is a Phyllis Diller over here.

And that was a Doug McClure in the other room.

Evidently done during his blue period.

They have a Howard Cosell next to a Don Meredith. They still clash.

It's in the next room. How'd he get you here?

Using natural charm and seduction.

- He does have that. - Thank you. Do you really mean that?

You left your tux in my closet.

There's a benefit tomorrow night. Should I send it over?

That's a big Elke Sommer.

Good night, y'all.

So, really, since when?

Starting tonight. I want this to be your evening.

I don't know where to go anymore.

- Thank you very much. - Hello.

Hello.

That was Mike Gambril, wasn't it?

I think so.

He looked very good. This was terrific.

Shall we go?

Sure, let's go.

What about tomorrow?

- Tomorrow? - It's Christmas Eve.

- Are you coming for dinner? - Is Ariel cooking?

It's takeout from the Four Seasons. You're safe.

Thanks, IKen.

How about if I stop by?

Let's talk tomorrow.

Want to grab a bite?

No, thanks. I don't think so.

I guess this wasn't such a great idea after all.

I don't know.

Merry Christmas, Lynn.

Merry Christmas, Mike.

No kidding!

- Look at that! - How are you?

You know who this guy is? Mike Gambril.

No kidding.

- Thanks, guys! - Merry Christmas, Miss McKay.

- Merry Christmas to you, Monica. - You recognized me.

- Just a wild guess. - Open this one.

This is the best Christmas ever. Oh, thanks, Lori!

It's sort of a quiet Christmas.

Exactly.

You know something, I like it better quiet.

Absolutely. Thanks, Dorothy.

- Call me if you need anything. - All right, I will. Thanks.

I'll be right upstairs.

Hello.

- Mike? - Hello, Terry.

Good to see you.

It's good to see you too. You feeling all right?

Yeah. I'm just...

...catching up.

Good, good.

It's been a long time.

Yes, it has, hasn't it?

It is good to see you.

You said that. Could I...?

Yes, please do.

Thanks.

I'll just be a minute.

- You don't mind? - Of course not.

Good, good.

I bet you're wondering how I got here.

I was looking through a phone book for a man named McBride...

...and I ran across the name "T. McKay. "

I said to myself:

"Could that possibly be Terry McKay, my old friend?"

- It was. - And then I said to myself:

"I wasn't very nice to her. I had an appointment with her, and I...

...didn't keep it. "

- You didn't? - No.

No.

So then I said to myself... I talk to myself quite a lot these days.

"That's not a nice way to treat a friend.

I have to apologize to her. "

If one doesn't keep an appointment, shouldn't they apologize?

Yes.

Yes, you're absolutely right.

The least people can do is say they're sorry.

So here I am.

- That's very sweet. - I thought so.

I've often wondered about you.

- Have you really? - Yes, really.

I've wondered about you, too. You weren't angry?

You must have been at first.

I was. I was.

At first, I was furious.

I said, "He can't do this to me. Who does he think he is?"

- Did you wait long? - Yes, I waited. I waited until...

Midnight?

- Then what? - I got really mad.

You can just imagine, being up there...

In a thunderstorm.

- In a thunderstorm? - Yeah.

What did you say?

Then I said, "Why don't you just go home and get drunk?"

- But you didn't. - I didn't?

You just took one little drink...

...every hour for about two months.

Can you blame me?

Not at all. No.

The least I could've done was send you a note.

Maybe by the time you thought of it, you couldn't find me.

But certainly you swore that if you ever saw me again you'd ask.

No. We said if we could make it, we'd be there.

If one of us didn't show up, there must be a good reason.

- Did we say that? - Yes, that's exactly what we said.

Like what, for instance?

So there'll be no more questions asked, I hope.

Thirsty?

Thank you.

Thank you, Mike.

Isn't this wonderful?

I walk over here just to...

Now I'm not even supposed to ask why you weren't there.

- It doesn't seem fair, does it? - I know.

I don't know what it is.

When I'm with you, I just...

- No wedding ring. - No.

I thought when I saw you last night...

No.

He was just...

No.

Sorry.

So how are you?

You can ask questions?

I thought everything was fine till I saw you last night.

Then I knew there must be something between us, even if only an ocean.

So I got a ticket.

Where are you going?

Away.

- When? - Tonight.

Unless I can get an earlier flight.

Well...

You're happy, aren't you?

And you?

I don't know. Sometimes I...

I worry about the future, what people will think of me.

That they'll say, "What happened to him? He's a mess. "

- "He doesn't really like women. " - Why would they say that?

Because every woman he meets, he says:

"Where will you be in three months? Meet me in three months. "

- And they're there? - Everywhere.

Pyramids, Eiffel Tower, Statue of Liberty, everywhere.

Just waiting. Waiting.

Where is he?

Waiting.

Want to change the subject?

Merry Christmas.

I almost forgot.

Who would've thought we'd spend Christmas together?

- I brought you a present. - I wish I had something for you.

I didn't expect anything.

It's not really a Christmas present.

So that's why my letters came back.

Well, I'd have sent it to you, but I...

...didn't know your address till today.

She wanted you to have it.

Anyway...

That's why I...

Goodbye, Terry.

Goodbye, Mike.

You know, I painted you wearing that.

I wish you'd seen it. It was good.

I left it at the hotel. They hung it in the restaurant...

...and there was a young woman who came in and really liked it.

They told me she kept trying to buy it so I said:

"Just give it to her because she wants the damn thing so much. "

They said she didn't seem like she had a lot of money...

...and not only that, they told me she was...

She was...

When is your flight?

I said, "By all means...

...give it to her because I never took any money for paintings and it was...

...Christmas season, ho-ho-ho.

So I...

Oh, Mike, don't look at me like that.

Why didn't you tell me?

If anything had to happen to one of us...

...why did it have to be you?

It was my own fault. I was looking up.

I knew you were there.

Don't worry, Mike.

It doesn't have to be a miracle.

If you can paint, I can walk.

Anything can happen, don't you think?

Come here.